Botched Immigration System Spawns Alien Menace[JS1]

The idea of Sanctuary City is very complex for the fact that [JS2] people have such strong opinions concerning it. While some are accepting of Chicago being a Sanctuary City, others tend to believe undocumented immigrants should be deported for causing such negativity [JS3] in our society. For instance, in the article Botched Immigration System Spawns Alien Menace, Bill O Reilly harshly criticizes the American government for having such lenient laws [JS4] concerning immigration. He suggests that such lenience towards the issue is apparently threatening the safety and rights of the American citizens (OReilly). Although the situation in which five immigrants in New York raped a mother was devastating, OReilly portrayed himself as unreliable[JS5] for committing a logical fallacy. Based on the situation and OReillys interpretation, the belief that most immigrants are criminals was implied. While others have argued that undocumented immigrants have done nothing but negatively affect our country, many cases [JS6] have shown that the majority of undocumented immigrants are solely trying to make a better life and find opportunities to support their family [JS7] .[JS8] The fact that immigrants come to the United States to cause harm has

become a stereotype in the most recent years. However, that stereotype has proven to be untrue. The majority of undocumented immigrants come to the United States to fulfill their dreams and to be opened to new opportunities. Undocumented immigrants risk their lives, their families lives and everything they have worked for in their home country to come to the United States. This suggests that because so much is at stake, undocumented immigrants would not risk or ruin their opportunities in America by committing senseless crimes. For instance, Harvard sociologist Robert J. Sampson, claims that there has been a correlation between immigrants and the amount of crime in a city. He ultimately suggests that in certain neighborhoods where immigrant populations have increased, homicide rates have decreased (Sampson [JS9] 1). For some time, undocumented immigrants have held a negative reputation. For instance, many suggest that undocumented immigrants are taking the jobs of American citizens. [JS10] Although it might be true that undocumented immigrants will work for a lower pay, the fact that they are actually taking the jobs of citizens is untrue. Because the majority of undocumented immigrants come to the United States for a better life, they work extremely hard. [JS11] Undocumented immigrants earn their jobs. Additionally, several undocumented immigrants take jobs that others would not. [JS12] For

instance, many immigrants work tough, long hours in factories, do yard work, are janitors, housekeepers and so on. In many instances, the statement that undocumented immigrants take the jobs of American citizens is false. Instead, undocumented immigrants often times have jobs that many do not want. Furthermore, many undocumented immigrants are hard workers. As previously mentioned, they settle for extremely difficult jobs, less pay and not the best conditions in the workplace. They deal with such difficult jobs in order to provide for themselves and their families. Aside from that, undocumented immigrants have to work harder in terms of school in order to maintain high grades. Because undocumented immigrants arrive to the United States for better opportunities, their dreams are to go to college. However, most of the time money is tight and therefore they must maintain a high grade point average, be involved with the community and have several extra curricular activities in order to receive scholarship money. Scholarship money, in many instances, is the only was undocumented students can afford to go to college. Overall, Bill OReillys statement about undocumented immigrants is unfair. Suggesting that stricter immigration laws are needed ultimately puts undocumented immigrants in such a negative light when in actuality they are aiming for a better life. Furthermore, undocumented immigrants have the right

to the city. They hold the right to be treated as any other citizen because they are productive members of our society.

Works Citied O'Reilly, Bill. "Botched Immigration System Spawns Alien Menace." Human Events 20 Jan. 2003: 21. Print. Sampson, Robert J. "Rethinking Crime and Immigration." (n.d.): 28-33.

Valentina: I appreciate this defense of immigrants, and especially undocumented immigrants, against OR. and others who make anti-immigrant statements. You make good points here. However, what you dont really do for now is demonstrate that youre really responding to OR.s argument. Remember, he doesnt make all these claims about immigrants taking jobs or not working hardat least not in the piece we readand you need to argue against him. However, the highlighted sentence of yours in the last paragraph is a broad statement he makes about enforcing laws and deportation, so if you could use that claim of his to frame your essay, then a lot of the points you make could be relevant here. Please talk to me if this is not clear. Also, I marked some language issues here, but youll need to proofread all of this carefully.

[JS1]Find a good title that also connects to your thesis, not just the topic. [JS2]WC, a little unclear [JS3]Again, WC makes this unclear. [JS4]Be careful here. I think hes actually criticizing city governments for have sanctuary city laws and the federal government for not enforcing the law. Hes not actually criticizing the laws themselves. [JS5]WC, again unclear; I wont mark any more of these in the draft, but you need to go through this paper and make sure that youre very careful about your word choices in all places. [JS6]WC [JS7]S/PL [JS8]Is this your thesis? It sounds more like youre just summarizing others views. Make sure you present your perspective in the thesis. [JS9]Again, you dont need this because its clear from your sentence who said it. [JS10]Youre right that this is a common belief in the U.S., especially among people who seem to be against immigrants. However, OR. never says this in his piece, and I want you to really focus your argument on what he says. [JS11]Good point, true, but for now its not clear why this proves or supports your previous sentence. [JS12]This seems to be stronger evidence, so maybe rearrange these sentences.