GAV Leaders Guide

Educators Guide
Laurie Mandel, Ed.D.
Kindergarten - 8th Grade
A Character Education Program
Educators Guide
Distributed by
CALL 1-800-99-YOUTH (96884) A Brand of Prevention Products & Services, Inc. www.at-risk.com
Get.A.Voice Educators Guide 2012 ActionWorks, Inc. Distributed by The Bureau for At-Risk Youth A Brand of Prevention Products & Services, Inc. 1-800-99-YOUTH (96884) www.at-risk.com get.a.voice! is a registered trademark of ActionWorks, Inc. Friendship FridayTM and Just Kidding, Just StopTM are trademarks of ActionWorks, Inc. All rights reserved. ISBN 978-1-56688-949-0 This book contains original reproducible activity handouts, exclusive with ActionWorks and is fully protected by copyrights. The original purchaser of this book is authorized to reproduce and use the individual items in this book for the generation of creative activity in a psychiatric/therapeutic/ educational setting. However, the reproducible activity handout collection in this book may not be reprinted or resyndicated in whole or in part as a reproducible handout book or collection, or for any other purpose without the written permission of the publisher. This publication is meant to be used by an ADULT facilitator only. The handouts/activities should be photocopied for distribution, or if this book contains a CD, they can also be printed. Printed in the United States of America.
Acknowledgments
With recognition and thanks to the many inspiring educators, administrators, experts, and supporters who have contributed to the Get.A.Voice Project including: Christine Bergamino; William Bezmen, Ph.D.; Karen Cohen; Lou Colasuono; Mary Dezego; Maureen DiPaolo; Kathleen Flynn-Bisson; Linda Fortmuller; Kara Gorski; Paul Grafer; Judith Grant; Ken Greenberg; Peter Hamilton; Amanda Kelly; Jessie Klein, Ph.D.; Brenda Lamiroult; Trudy Ludwig; Tom Lyon; Joe Maddalone; Chris Maffia; Kristianna Martindale; Ilene Mauner; Donald McPherson; sj Miller, Ph.D.; Jay Mince, Ph.D.; Christine OLeary; Cheryl Pedisich; Janet Philbin; Cindy Pierce-Lee; Anthony Pollera; Debbi Rakowsky, CSW; Roberta Richin; Trevor Romaine; Pat Rose; Trina Schibi; Nicole Sieben; Jeff Spuches; Stacy Stanley; Vinny Vizzo; Diane Webber; Amanda Westbrook; Nicole Wittschiebe-Mazzo; Deborah Wolfe, and to the thousands of kids who courageously voiced their hopes, their stories, and their truths, even those who believed their voices did not matter. They have taught me that language is perhaps the most powerful resource we have as humans and is truly instrumental in creating caring and compassionate individuals, communities, and cultures. Laurie Mandel
Contents
Introduction ...............................................................................................................................7 About the Get.A.Voice Project .............................................................................................9 Why Should Our School Use Get.A.Voice? ............................................................9 Core Beliefs ...............................................................................................................................11 Get.A.Voice and the Common Core State Standards ...............................................12 An Overview of Get.A.Voices Elements .........................................................................13 Getting Started .......................................................................................................................16 Implementing Get.A.Voice Schoolwide or Districtwide .........................................17 Launching the Get.A.Voice Project .......................................................................21 Other Initiatives ...........................................................................................................22 School-Home Communication ..............................................................................24 Individually Making the Promise: Faculty and Staff ........................................25 Implementing Get.A.Voice in the Classroom ...............................................................29 Get.A.Voice Kindness Challenges...........................................................................31 Friendship Friday .........................................................................................................35 Implementing Get.A.Voice as a Club...............................................................................39 Club Meetings ..............................................................................................................39 Action Research Activity for a Get.A.Voice Club ...............................................42 Implementing Get.A.Voice as an Individual .................................................................44 Tips from a School Social Worker: Words to Say ...............................................45 Grade Level Guidelines ........................................................................................................48 Grades K2 ...............................................................................................................................49 Vocabulary .....................................................................................................................50 The First Ten Days ........................................................................................................52 Situations and Solutions ...........................................................................................56 Activities..........................................................................................................................56 Grades 35 ................................................................................................................................65 Vocabulary .....................................................................................................................66 The First Ten Days ........................................................................................................69 Situations and Solutions ...........................................................................................70 Activities..........................................................................................................................71 Grades 68 ................................................................................................................................78 Vocabulary .....................................................................................................................79
The First Ten Days ........................................................................................................81 Situations and Solutions ...........................................................................................82 Activities..........................................................................................................................84 Get.A.Voice Beyond the Classroom .................................................................................87 Activities..........................................................................................................................87 GAV in Sports.................................................................................................................93 Appendix A: GAV Common Vocabulary .........................................................................95 Appendix B: Bullying: Facts and Statistics .....................................................................98 Notes ........................................................................................................................................100
Introduction
Fatso
Retard!
Faggo
t!
Slut!
Loser!
How many times a day do you hear students insult each other, make fun of someone, use putdowns, even as they claim they are just kidding? Students and educators alike have long heard personally directed epithets loaded with demeaning, malicious, and harmful language in hallways, classrooms, cafeterias, and locker rooms, and on playgrounds, fields, and buses. Being different in some wayathletic ability, appearance, intelligence, race, religion, and even taste in musicmakes kids magnets for teasing and bullying.1 Today, language used by young people has become more vicious and cruel, even among children as young as kindergarten age. Technology and social media have escalated the bullying crisis, leading to an increased incidence of suicide among our youth. Bullying and social cruelty are the tools students use to elevate their own social status by targeting other students they perceive to be lesser in some wayless masculine, less strong, less pretty, less smart, less fashionable.2 These behaviors establish group identity, dominance, and status at the expense of another. We see this in cliques, which often get their power from excluding others; in homophobic language, which devalues both boys and girls; and in labels and stereotypes that are largely unjust and simply cruel. As students enter middle school, when acceptance and popularity become increasingly important within peer Find your voice and inspire groups, gender roles are a particularly frequent trigger for others to find theirs. such behavior.3 Toughness and aggressiveness are imporStephen Covey, The 8th Habit tant status considerations for boys, while appearance and ability to attract boys is largely a central status consideration for girls. Think about it. What epithet is hurled at a boy because he missed the ball? Or because hes in eighth grade and his voice still hasnt changed? And what does one girl call another (joking around, of course) if she is jealous because the second girl spends more time with a boy than with her? Because of the social power of the norm, any deviation from it often generates social and relational aggression.4 Gender pressures and social demands created in our culture have led to boys lashing out to prove their masculinity in bullying, violence, and school shootings.5 Though boys are more likely than ever to express emotion toward same-sex peers, boys who areor are perceived asgay remain stigmatized.6 Additionally, the increasing pressure for girls to be attractive and tough has resulted in the use of attempts to prove themselves through aggressive actions such as slut-bashing in text messaging and online.
Get.A.Voice Educators Guide
A childs peer group is a key influence in the development and maintenance of bullying behaviors. Without intervention, the peer group unconsciously reinforces and maintains this behavior. Understanding the role of the peer group is crucial. We have reached a critical juncture in Americas schools. Even though social cruelty has been around for generations, we now recognize its enduring impact on targets, perpetrators, and bystanders alike.7 Only recently has school-based research moved away from looking at the behavior of bystanders and focused more on their well-being in order to understand why they do not intervene.8 Asked what they wanted during their hours in school, hundreds of kids responded with answers like these: to be treated fairly to feel like I belong to be treated better to feel like I matter to be heard to be liked to be accepted There is an obvious gap between what students experience daily and their desire to feel safe, included, accepted, and liked. Though students may say, Oh, it doesnt matter or I dont really care; Im used to it or It doesnt bother me anymore, the bottom line is that if given a choice, kids dont want to be called names or be put down, especially by their own friends. They dont want to have to suck it up. They dont want to, nor should they have to, witness other kids being targeted for reasons they dont deserve or cant control.
It took me a while to realize you cant change it all at once. Its going to take multiple people, multiple voices to make a difference.
Kelby, age 16 (from the movie Bully)
Ten years after the pilot launch of Get.A.Voice, as I watched the movie Bully, I saw twelve-year-old Alex relentlessly taunted, called fish face, cursed, threatened, and told No one likes you! When his mom asked him, Do you like bein bullied or something? Does that feel good? Why dont you just stop it? his reply ripped through me. He said, Im starting to think I dont feel anything anymore. Like most, he simply wanted nothing more than to fit in. Language is the most powerful resource we have. There are many like Kelby and Alex: those who have voices and those who need help to find their voices. The Get.A.Voice Project is a response to the growing crisis, with the hope that we will inspire and empower our youth to use their voices, hearts, and talents to stand up to social cruelty and will support them in saying and doing the right thing, so that the right thing eventually becomes the norm. Laurie Mandel
About the Get.A.Voice Project

Get.A.Voice (GAV) is a philosophy that teaches students to use words that help instead of hurt in formal and informal settings, with friends and others, across the school community. Given peer pressure, even students with the best intentions can be bullies or bystanders under certain circumstances. Although standing up for oneself or others is one of the most challenging things for human beings, it is key to creating a school culture that is socially, emotionally, and academically successful.
In school my self-esteem was down to my ankles. I was told that I was lazy, stupid, not living up to my potential. The power of negative thoughts [is] so pervasive; theyre insidious. These thoughts become a thesis of negativity.
Henry Winkler
Through a language-based set of practices that reflect the Common Core State Standards (and are aligned with such anti-bullying legislation as New York States Dignity for All Students Act), educators, students, and parents can use GAV to create a school culture that empowers, supports, and educates students to fulfill their roles as upstanders.9 To accomplish this goal, GAV emphasizes the concept of collective courage,10 helping students and adults who directly or indirectly stand up for themselves and others stay safe in the process, supported by other students, teachers, and community stakeholders.
With extensive input from teachers, administrators, counselors, support staff, students, and parents from seventeen schools in New York State, GAV evolved to become a language-based approach to decreasing name calling and bullying; increasing how often students and adults felt safe, valued, respected, and connected to each other in school; and achieving these goals in ways that saved time for teachers and other educators.
Why Should Our School Use Get.A.Voice?

If your school already has character education and anti-bullying programs, counseling sessions and disciplinary practices, GAV is still singularly valuable. This guide provides easy-to-adopt classroom and/or schoolwide practices and routines to extend the impact of individual lessons and stand-alone programs. Although it includes sample lessons, counseling tips, and suggested phrases for students, educators, and coaches, GAV is not a series of lessons; it is a way of being. Using the GAV philosophy, students will begin to use words to help instead of hurt, from entering school to walking in the hallway to taking turns, from asking and responding to questions to following directionsand even to simply greeting each other in the morning.
GAV at a Glance
The academic curriculum sits in the social curriculum. If your school is looking for simplicity, academic standards with social goals, and a languagebased project that impacts the entire school community, Get.A.Voice is all of these and more.
GAV has five attributes that distinguish its value as a character, civic, and citizenship model:
1. Get.A.Voice is language based.

GAV focuses on the power of words, which most often precede physical bullying. GAV most naturally connects with speaking, reading, and writing across all subject and grade levels and in all
spaces where students gather for formal or informal school life. As a language-based approach to help students excel academically and in their social and emotional development, it equips students to choose words that help instead of words that hurt.
2. Get.A.Voice sets a standard for connecting by respecting.

From teacher tips to bulletin board guidelines to schoolwide implementation, GAV sets high expectations for how all members of the school community use their collective and individual voices to connect and respect. It affirms that adults shape organizational culture with consistency. This process equips students and adults alike to draw on the positive energy of the group to fight social cruelty.11
3. Get.A.Voice is user friendly.

Years of classroom-based research and teachers experience have shown that most educators find GAV easy to connect to what they are already doing in class. It is a curriculum framework that provides proven-effective learning experiences, tips, interventions, activities, projects, and service-learning ideas contributed by teachers.
The First Amendment does not protect a bully when it comes to vulgar or intimidating language. When the language or behavior interferes with another students educational opportunities whether it is done inside or outside of schoolit is not protected by freedom of speech or expression, and it should be addressed by school officials.
Judy Brunner and Dennis Lewis, Principal Leadership (September 2010)
GAV does not require extensive training to be effective. With so many demands on todays educators, time and ease of use is paramount. The program was developed with the guidance of teachers who initially objected to using such a model, understandably arguing that they had no time to do this work. For this reason, GAV supports and extends the impact of everyday teaching, counseling and discipline, and dovetails with such widely known initiatives as Responsive Classroom, Challenge Day, Words of Wisdom, Rachels Challenge, Literacy Collaborative, Red Ribbon Week, No Mean Words Day, and No-Name Calling Week, among others.
GAV at a Glance
Through adult role modeling and daily personal and team practice, GAV helps empower students to use their voices and their hearts to befriend others, to be purposeful when they speak and listen, and to do whats right so that doing the right thing eventually becomes the norm. Empowering students is the key to ending or reducing disrespectful language, teasing, vicious gossip and bullying, both in person and online. Adults cannot do this alone. Students cannot do this alone. Teamwork, focusing on student involvement and empowerment, is key. 10
Get.A.Voice effectively turns bystanders into upstanders, victims into empowered teammates, and bullies into supported members of a school community. Students welcome how they replace their behavior, stand up to bullies and for themselves and their peers, and want to become more involved.
4. Get.A.Voice creates a wave effect.

GAV educators have found that students connect with the programs concepts and spread its ideas quickly. It is the opposite of gossip, though it operates on the same premise. Students want a voice and want to share a voice. GAV encourages connection and belonging and equips students and adults with positive power. It is fun, and others want to become involved!
5. Get.A.Voice focuses on empowerment.
Core Beliefs
In todays culture, where kids are bombarded with social media and complex relationships, it is imperative that we help our youth become more conscious of the power of thoughts, words and, ultimately, actions. Toward that end, Get.A.Voice embraces four core beliefs:
1. Words are powerful.

GAVs language-based approach teaches that we are responsible for our words. Words have power and consequences. They make us feel good or bad, included or left out, embarrassed or elated; they hurt or heal. Mean-spirited insults, put-downs, and labels are all forms of judgment that yield a false sense of security or social status, that classify and dichotomize people and their actionswhether or not that is the speakers intent. The question is, how can we help kids feel good without having to make others feel bad? Before children can act from the heart with kindness, they must first learn to recognize the real power of words.
2. Language shapes culture.

Central to GAV is the notion that our language shapes our culture. We recognize that in the face of the peer culture even students with the best intentions often do not step up to the plate for reasons that may include fear of being targeted, fear of losing a friend, not knowing what to say, or not believing they can change anything. Moving from a culture of bystanderswho may not incite bullying but who watch, walk away, or even join into a culture of upstanders is key to shaping a positive school environment. When we bring students into this effort, we send the message that their voices are pivotal.
GAV at a Glance
The Get.A.Voice philosophy rests on the view that thoughts become language and language creates cultures. It inspires the one voice to become a catalyst for supportive voices through the phenomenon of collective courage in classrooms, schools, and entire districts.
3. Empowering students through collective courage is key.
A key tenet of GAV is the concept of collective courage: the idea that one voice that sparks two more committed voices can dramatically shift the culture to make change happen. Thus no one is alone, but all are supported and empowered. When students are empowered to collectively stand up to bullies or mean-spirited kids in a kind way, we are able to shift the focus of whose voice is being listened to, emulated, and heeded.
4. Learning and caring are intentional outcomes of a conscious school culture.

Compassion comes from connectedness. With the right combination of practices, individuals and groups can measurably change what they do and say, and so begin to promote a culture that is safe and welcoming. A climate where speaking up for respect is the norm takes intentional effort and time, but it results in youth and others who feel safe, valued, connected, and empowered. When we teach students to use words well, learning and caring follow.
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Get.A.Voice and the Common Core State Standards

The Common Core State Standards intend for all students to get and use voices that will help them better understand themselves and communicate with others at school, so they are prepared for college, career, and civic life. The standards insist that instruction in reading, writing, speaking, listening and language be a shared responsibility within the school. While the ELA and content area literacy components are critical to college and career readiness, they do not define the whole of such readiness. Students require a wide-ranging, rigorous academic preparation and, particularly in the early grades, attention to such matters as social, emotional, and physical development and approaches to learning.12 Get.A.Voice provides educators with ready-to-use, tested, real-world practices to help students accrue the thousands of hours of successful, purposeful listening, speaking, reading, and writing necessary for them to meet the Common Core State Standards that guide todays classrooms. In the process, GAV helps students transfer content knowledge into everyday communications strategies without needing their teachers to conduct separate lessons regarding appropriate language, behavior, interpersonal relations, or compassion. To provide the wide-ranging and rigorous academic preparation in grades K8, GAV embraces the CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning) model for social-emotional learning.13 This model describes five developmentally typical levels: self-awareness, selfmanagement, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.
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An Overview of Get.A.Voices Elements

Get.A.Voice can be introduced as broadly as district- or schoolwide, or it can start with just one classroom, a counseling office, an after-school club, a leadership group, an athletic team, or an administrators approach to discipline. No matter what the scope, the five elements of GAV are its essential building blocks. Many members of the GAV community have been surprised at how easily they built a GAV classroom or school culture by incorporating these five elements. From the varsity program to the choir to the entire math department, a GAV culture is possible in any corner of a school community.
Element 1: Shared purpose

A shared purpose is a short, plain-language version of your mission statement; it answers the question, Why do we have this school? According to educator Robert Baranoski, classroom and school communities that agree on their shared purpose and incorporate it into daily practice enjoy higher levels of academic excellence, student conduct, and staff success than school communities that do not adopt this practice. Baranoski writes: The modest task of (creating) shared purpose contributes to the process of learning and is particularly crucial to academic achievement.14 With a plain-language, easy-to-remember shared-purpose statement in place, people are less inclined to bully, cheat, or do other hurtful things; instead, they continuously encourage each other to work together to achieve that purpose. Some GAV classrooms or schools brainstorm with the students the shared purpose of school and arrive at a statement together. Others present students with the statement created by adult teams. Either approach can be successful. GAV educators can start with or even adopt one of these examples: Our shared purpose is to help all our students learn well, stay safe, graduate and participate successfully in society!15 or Our shared purpose is to create an environment of respect, trust, hard work, and fun as a team.16
GAV at a Glance
Get.A.Voice: challenges the just kidding generation. supports students to do the right thing, not whats popular. fosters collective courage as a means to shift the peer culture. sets and holds a standard of expectation for ourselves, our students, and each other. brings a whole school/organizational community into this proactive, preventative effort. views educators as coachesrolemodeling, supporting, praising, redirecting daily so that students can feel that they can and do make a difference, that their voices matter.
Element 2: Common vocabulary

Every successful group uses a common vocabulary to communicate effectively. When we have a common vocabulary in a school or classroom, we use the same words to mean the same things regarding such crucial terms as learning and safety, respect and responsibility. When we take a few minutes to agree on what words we use and how we define them, we promote cooperation and prevent many time-consuming and frustrating conflicts. Since GAV concentrates on language-based interactions, we present the GAV common vocabulary in Appendix A (see page 95).
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Element 3: Alignment
Alignment is a simple idea. It means that we use our shared purpose and common vocabulary to teach, counsel, guide, and discipline our students. Alignment means that our words and actions match each other. We demonstrate alignment when, for example, the messages on our posters match the way students and adults interact in our classrooms and school culture. If a shared purpose includes (as the GAV tagline indicates) to be a leader, make a difference, and get a voice, educators can achieve alignment by: making bulletin boards featuring student-created posters that answer these questions: How do we know we are being leaders? How do we know we are making a difference? How do we know we are using our voices well? using the content of the posters when praising or correcting students; using common vocabulary and referring to shared purpose when communicating with parents; making sure that informal conversation is as consistent with the shared purpose as formal conversation; incorporating the shared purpose and common vocabulary into curriculum writing, professional learning experiences, mentoring, leading, planning, and other team processes. Absent alignment, words and actions may not match. There may be posters that showcase diversity and respect, for example, but kids or adults may use prejudiced words and actions.17 This disparity sends mixed messages. When an organization allows mixed messages to exist, its members often feel more isolated, less safe, less successful, less respected, and less connected. Mixed messages often provoke kids to behave in ways that disrupt classrooms, which can hurt them and others. For example, when adults use sarcasm, even without ill inE. B. White, Charlottes Web tent, or refrain from responding to disruptive comments, or simply spread rumors, these behaviors undermine the stability of the organization. Neither of these outcomes matches any idea of the shared purpose of school. Sometimes people defend words or actions that contradict the poster messages by saying I was just kidding! Members of GAV classrooms and schools respond by saying If youre just kidding, just stop.18
With the right words, you can change the world.
Words or actions are not funny if they can hurt someone else. If they can hurt someone else, they do not match our shared purpose. If they do not match our shared purpose, we say or do something else. Alignment is that simple.
Element 4: Power of a promise

Promises matter.19 Across our schools, some of the most consistent data revealed that when adults and kids honor a promise, major shifts happen. When we use our own voice to promise to do something, and others hear us, we tend to take that promise more seriously. GAV classroom and school community members all make the GAV Promise. Everyone does not have to make the promise at the same time or on the same day; those who dont feel like making the promise are permitted to wait. There is no pressure; it must feel right for that person. GAV educators have found that giving kids the freedom to consider the promise inspires them to take it more seri14
ously and empowers them to talk with their parents and friends about its significance. There are just three steps to making sure the promise has the greatest possible impact: 1. The instructional leader/administrator/principal makes the promise and invites faculty/staff/ adults in the GAV community to do the same. 2. Each person who agrees to make the GAV Promise says it individually out loud, not chorally, in front of their classmates, group, or community members. A student who needs support from a buddy or a teacher/staff member is encouraged to make the promise in the way that is most comfortable. 3. Each person who makes the GAV Promise signs their Promise Card, and the educator in that group signs it as well. The cards can be collected to be displayed on a bulletin board. Making a promise means giving ones word. The purpose of the Promise Card is to teach kids that their words matter, that when they make a promise, they are giving their word to do their best to choose their words with care. Just as goals you write down, speak aloud, or make public are much more likely to be achieved, the Promise Card serves as a valuable reminder to those who make the promise to follow through on their word to be kind and choose positive words, even when they dont feel like it or dont like something or someone. It helps students be mindful of the fact that there are ways of communicating that do not need to be mean or unkind.
The key to bullying is contempta powerful feeling of dislike toward somebody considered to be worthless, inferior, or undeserving of respect. Contempt allows kids to harm each other without feeling empathy, compassion, shame.
Barbara Coloroso, The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander
Element 5: Teamwork
Kids and adults alike, we all benefit from being part of a team that has a shared purpose, common vocabulary, clearly defined roles for every member, core values/beliefs, and a deep respect for individual dreams and goals. GAV schools and classrooms encourage educators to consider school as a learning team and to collaborate with students to help them understand the roles that exist for different members of the team.
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Getting Started
Get.A.Voice is not a program with one sequence of practices over a specific time frame. Instead, it is a curriculum framework; educators use GAV to teach, counsel, discipline, and otherwise communicate with students and each other, and to help students connect with respect to themselves and others within and beyond school. Most typically, educators have implemented GAV in one or more of these ways: Schoolwide or districtwide In the classroom By a faculty advisor, as a club that meets after or during school By a teacher, social worker, psychologist, in-school suspension supervisor, counselor, or administrator using GAV practices in any non-instructional, school-related setting, without any formal plan involving other members of the school community With each approach to implementation, GAV educators have started traditions, maintained routines, and produced results that they could measure and report. Often, educators start using GAV at one entry point and find that it spreads to other areas, as colleagues and kids discover that it is easy to use, relevant, and effective. Furthermore, GAV educators have worked with children who cannot write, either because they are developmentally not at that benchmark or because they are atypical for their developmental stage. These educators have succeeded by having students create drawings instead of words to develop rubrics illustrating how every member of the school community can be helpful, not hurtful. It is suggested that: educators think big and start small, by using such strategies as piloting GAV before introducing it broadly; educators and/or students introduce, sustain, and develop ideas over time; students have an active role in responding to educators and to each other; and educators and students formally or informally develop a shared vision of communicating with kindness and respect.
GAV at a Glance
No matter what the approach to implementation, the results are consistently the same: Kids and adults observe less hurtful behavior, more helpful behavior, and heightened sensitivity to the power and consequences of voices and words.
The various approaches to implementation are described in greater detail in the sections that follow.
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Implementing Get.A.Voice Schoolwide or Districtwide

Every school and district may choose a somewhat different path. Get.A.Voice educators are most successful by building a team to explore and recommend best steps to using GAV, and then working with special teams to create details specific to such settings as classrooms, offices, locker rooms, buses, playgrounds, athletic fields, hallways, and so on. Every member of a successful team has a role on the team. A team members role is defined by his or her responsibility for advancing the shared purpose of the team. These four steps are key:
1. Convene your school team.
Convene a team of eight to fifteen members of the school community, including general and special education and special area teachers, administrators, mental health professionals, non-instructional staff, coaches, and others. Rosalind Wiseman, Depending on the goals and roles of the team, it may or Queen Bees and Wannabes may not include parents. The role of the core team is to create an implementation plan (see page 19) and support the GAV coordinator in introducing and operating the program.
If you dont name the specific behavior you want changed, you ineffectively communicate what you believe and what you want.
2. Select your Get.A.Voice coordinator.

Select a coordinator who is a member of the school faculty, staff, or administration. The coordinators role will be to help support the implementation plan, coordinate activities, and lead discussions regarding GAV logistics, progress, impact, and other matters important to the members of the GAV team. In return, the team members support the coordinator in fulfilling his or her role.
3. Set your goals.

Establish group goals and norms, so that team members stay focused on their shared purpose, treat each other with respect and kindness, include every voice in the room, and otherwise manifest a positive team culture.
4. Create your implementation plan.

A powerful plan has the following characteristics: It outlines a compelling reason for intentional focus or change. It conveys a picture of the future. It presents a feasible, if challenging, process. It focuses on what needs to be achieved. It is flexible. These questions can help the team get started: What do we have right now that we want to keep?
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What do we have right now that we do not want? How do we build on our individual and school strengths to close the gap between what we have and where we want to go? What is each persons role on the team? What will everyone do and say to demonstrate mutual respect? Creating a plan can take as little as one half-day to several meetings.
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GAV Worksheet: Implementing GAV Schoolwide or Districtwide
Page 1 of 2
Get.A.Voice Implementation Plan

WHAT?
What is your schools or districts mission statement? ___________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ In looking at your schools social and emotional culture, what efforts are working that you want to continue or grow? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ What is not working that you want to change or shift? What would you want to see happen as a result of bringing GAV into your school or district? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
WHEN AND WHERE?

When is your projected start date? __________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Which entry points in your school are most realistic to introduce GAV? (Grade level? Subject area? Pilot by grade? Other?) _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
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GAV Worksheet: Implementing GAV Schoolwide or Districtwide
Page 2 of 2
Get.A.Voice Implementation Plan

NOW WHAT?
What perceived obstacles or challenges must be overcome before GAV can be a reality? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ What are your strategies or thoughts in working through these obstacles? _________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ What other key players, who may not currently be on this planning team, would be instrumental in this effort? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
NEXT STEPS
Whats next? ____________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ How will you sustain and deepen the GAV tenets? _____________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 20
Launching the Get.A.Voice Project

You have your coordinator and core team; you have agreed on your vocabulary and your plan; it is time to take action and launch your Get.A.Voice Project. One of the most effective ways to begin is to organize a school assembly, schoolwide or by grade, to introduce the program to the students, faculty, and staff and to get them thinking about why GAV is so important. Here are just a few examples of what you can do at an assembly:
If I could change one thing about my time in junior high school, I would have stood up to those who were being mean to others.
Mick Foley, professional wrestler, author, comedian, actor
Organize a panel presentation of older students (possibly even from high school) to share stories of their experiences as bystanders, targets, or bullies. Have a student group or theater group perform. Have teachers create and act out role plays for studentsvery effective! Invite outside speakers (e.g., athletes, former students, community role models) to share their stories. Have administrators make their promises, individually, at the assembly. Invite members of the high school (role models, leaders, students with a message) to speak. The sample script and follow-up worksheet can be used for this assembly (see pages 2528). In addition to the kickoff assembly, there are a number of related things your core team can do to help launch the program throughout the school: Reach out to local businesses (e.g., a local ice-cream store that could sponsor a party for the students who make the GAV Promise). Approach your PTO/PTA for their involvement. Organize an awards assembly for those kids using their voices at a midpoint in the school year. Arrange for student leaders to make presentations in the classrooms of younger students. Initiate role-play skits with theater teacher and/or other teachers for students to present at an assembly or in classrooms. Create a morning announcement to be delivered by students on the PA system. At the end of an announcement, students can deliver a positive message, such as, Be a leader, make a difference, get a voice, or Its your choice to get a voice, or Make it a great day! Organize a breakfast for bus drivers, and acknowledge the bus with the best behavior, as determined by the number of incidents reported. Arrange a buddy system between older grade and younger grades where older students do role plays with younger students about how to get a voice, etc.
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Other Initiatives
The implementation of GAV on a schoolwide scale requires a number of initiatives that will be introduced throughout the school year. This section offers a look at how some schools have used GAV to achieve their academic and behavioral student learning objectives.
Bulletin Board Headings

We Took the Promise We Pledge to Make a Difference These Families Took the Get.A.Voice Family Promise What Is Get.A.Voice? I Stood Up for Someone Today! (Children can count instances of good character by writing, without using names, what they did to stand up for someone.) Spreading Kindness with Flower Words! (Create a garden of flower words, with a note that when we pluck our weed words we spread more kindness!) Meet Our Bus Drivers! We Got a Voice and We Got It Together! Look at Whom We Persuaded to Get.A.Voice! Our TAs Are Terrific! Our Counselors Help Us Put It All Together! We Got a Voice!
Get.A.Voice Gallery
Initiate a GAV Gallery where students display paintings and drawings they have created as a result of being involved with this project. Display GAV-related projects in the library, hallway, and school newspaper; at schoolwide assemblies and school board meetings; and during recognition rituals.
Voices of Respect Thermometer

A display in the main lobby can present a Voices of Respect Thermometer that measures: How many times have we used our voices positively this day? This week? This month? This year?
How Do We Get.A.Voice? Ask These Kids!

Write the names of all the students in alphabetical order who made the promise this year. The columns of student names add up, and kids love to see their names and those of their friends who are also a part of the project. (One school wrote the names on the bulletin board in calligraphy!)
Snapshots from Schools

Elementary School: We did tallies of teasing on the bus, in class, and in hallways to get data and document changes. We videotaped our older students doing a presentation of why we are participating in Get.A.Voice as a whole school, which we showed our first-graders. Our principal was part of that conversation. 22
We started talking about language, and how to use our voices to solve problems. We surveyed students and interviewed teachers. We had to overcome being nervous about talking in front of a group. Students reflected in their journals: Advice from Me to Myself: Three things I need to tell myself. In social studies, we talked about how colonists got their voice. We talked about how getting a voice takes time. Students shared what happened, when, where, and the result. Good discussions followed about how change takes time and how being kind creates the community we want. Our student leadership group created a GAV on the Bus video to illustrate the need for change on the bus regarding bullying. We created a show called Viewpoint, designed to change your point of view. We collected a hundred stories, selected the top ten, and then based the show on three scenarios. We had seventeen bus drivers make the promise. We do PA announcements. We value positive relationships by being aware of language. We focused on shifting from blaming another to practicing reflection in order to see our role in our relationships with others. Middle School: We planned for several months because we wanted to involve the community from the start. We went to a sports marketing agency, and two football players from a local team spoke at our assembly. They also provided fifty free tickets to their games! Carvel provided an icecream party for those kids who made the promise. Teachers created videos, which they performed for our student body. Our fifth- to- sixthgrade video (ten minutes) focused on lunch, playground, cafeteria, and classroom scenarios; our seventh- to eighth-grade video (fifteen minutes) focused on bathroom, cafeteria, and classroom skits. All advisories or homerooms were provided with discussion questions to introduce GAV into their classroom. Our student peer leaders were also involved in this effort. We organized several contests to raise awareness about bullying. The most popular was our door-decorating campaign, in which every door was decorated with an anti-bullying theme. Kids got more involved and were more creative and thought provoking than we ever expected. Our art teacher had students do advertisements for their final art grade for the year. We obtained permission for our students to plan and show a ten-minute PowerPoint presentation to the Board of Education about how theyve been impacted by Get.A.Voice.
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School-Home Communication
Parents can be involved in GAV in many different ways. Here are several suggestions that schools have used: Encourage parents to make the Family Promise on Back to School Night or after school activities. Recognize parents who make their promise. Invite a group of students to a PTA/PTO meeting to share about GAV and why they believe it is important or how their involvement in GAV has impacted them. Honor students who participated in GAV and invite their parents. Have students do a presentation at a school board meeting; for example, on a relevant service-learning project or on how they used their voices to solve a problem.
It is important for families, schools, and other community institutions to help children and young adolescents learn how to manage, and potentially change, the pressure to hurt their classmates in order to fit in.
Dorothy Espelage, Bullying in Early Adolescence: The Role of the Peer Group
Make use of parents knowledge or experience; for example, by inviting them to do a class presentation or by interviewing a parent.
Sample Letter to Parent/Guardian to Introduce Get.A.Voice
Dear Parent/Guardian: This year our school will be participating in a program called the Get.A.Voice Project. Get.A.Voice was selected by our school becauseit focuses on developing a positive social and emotional culture in a school and aligns with the Common Core State Standards by bringing awareness to the power of words. We are very excited about the potential of this project, and we will be planning various activities that promote respect, caring, courage, and responsibility. If you are interested in participating personally and would like to be among other families who support this effort, please consider making the Get.A.Voice Family Promise when you are contacted. Also, please take this opportunity to talk with your child about the power of words. We all know that words can inspire and make one feel good, just as they can demean and make one feel bad, even when spoken by someone who may be just kidding. Remember, there is no one more effective in teaching and reinforcing positive behaviors and ideas than you! Thank you for your support in helping our school develop an appropriate social and learning climate for all our students. Sincerely, Principal/ Assistant Principal GAV School Coordinator
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Individually Making the Promise: Faculty and Staff

Having all faculty and staff make the promise might be one of the most important aspects of launching the GAV program and making it a success. Hearing ones own voice aloud creates a sense of shared purpose and commitment. Once faculty and staff members have each spoken the words, signing their names creates a further intention that they will do their best to carry out their promise. It is important to make the promise individually in front of the students because it shows how serious you are. The ideal time to do this is right after the kickoff assembly. If possible, all staff members should plan time to make the Youre entitled to hate. Youre promise immediately following the assembly. It is advanta- not entitled to hurt. geous for classroom teachers to invite those who do not Morris Dees, have their own classrooms (e.g., guidance counselors, soCo-Founder and Counsel, cial workers, secretaries, lunch staff, bus drivers, and custoSouthern Poverty Law Center dians) to make the promise in their classrooms in front of students. It is further suggested that guidance counselors or social workers visit each of the classrooms, speaking a common language to explain GAV in more detail at the time they make the promise. It may take a few days to get to each classroom, but it is essential to communicate the same message (the purpose of GAV and your schools shared goal) using a common language. In middle schools, the entry point for these visits may vary; for example, all English classes or health classes. Each student in the class will also have the opportunity to make the promise during the classroom visits. Though it is strongly encouraged that students make the promise individually, a student may be unable to do this. You can provide a safe mechanism for that students comfort. For example, some may benefit from the support of saying the words with a buddy or with an adult but apart from the group. The implementation of GAV is effectively accomplished on a schoolwide level and in each of the classrooms. Ideally, staff and faculty must at all times enact the promise they made at the kickoff event. There are also schoolwide initiatives and activities, described in the preceding sections, that function to bring the school together for a common cause and to keep the entire school community focused on its goal.
Sample Script for Kickoff Assembly

This script was written and delivered to an audience of fifth-graders20 but can be adapted to any age level. Italic type signals the speaker to emphasize the words; ellipses () signal pauses for effect. Hello (name of school)! Id like you to close your eyes and raise your hand if you have ever seen or heard someone get teased or put down or made fun of in school. (Closing their eyes helps students respond honestly, without fear of what others would think or say. Very quickly, this exercise shows students that they are not alone. You know your students best. Determine the best way to do this with your school.) Now open your eyes and look around.
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Close your eyes again and this time, raise your hand if you have ever been teased or had a friend gossip about you or talk about you behind your back. Now open your eyes and look around. Close your eyes one last time and raise your hand if you have ever watched someone being made fun of or put down and didnt say anything or walked away because you didnt know what to say or didnt want to get involved. Open your eyes and look around. Do you know what the number one worry is among kids ages nine to fourteen in school today? The fear of being made fun of. How many know the nursery rhyme that starts Sticks and stones may break my bones? Complete it with me. Do you believe that? Do you believe that words dont hurt? (Ask three students for responses.) Lets see; have you ever been called Shorty because somebody decided you were too short? Or have your friends joked around by calling you fat and made you feel worthless? Maybe one day you dropped your books in the cafeteria or you missed a basketball shot and kids started calling you a loser! (After each of the following, allow a few seconds for response.) Nod if youve ever heard kids make fun of someone because of the way they dress or what they look like or because theyre too smart or they read slower than you or you were made to feel left out while kids were playing during recess or you werent invited to a party or someone spread a rumor about you that wasnt true or you were called a crybaby when your dog died or someone called you the B-word. Maybe someones been making fun of your name ever since kindergarten, and you feel like youll never live down that nickname until you graduate from high school! Maybe you were telling a friend about a TV show you thought was cool and he responded with, You watch that? That show is so gay! What do kids mean by that anyway? (Responses might include weird, stupid, disgusting, etc.) Words can make you feel really good. And words can make you feel really bad. Has anyone heard of the Get.A.Voice Project? The GAV Project empowers students like you to stand up and make a difference by using their voices respectfully. That takes courage. One thing we know is that students often dont want to stand up because what might happen? 26
(Encourage students to call out responses.) A second thing we know is that if you are there and you dont say anything, youre a bystander. Have you heard of that word? That is when you watch something happen and you dont do anything, such as get help. You and your friends can make a huge difference in someones life simply by being an upstander, by speaking up. Maybe its a fifth-grader sticking up for a fourth-grader. (Insert appropriate grade levels.) Maybe there are some kids on the bus, and an older student wont let them sit with him, and two of you say, Hey! Thats so not cool. Let them sit there. You and your friends can have an amazing impact on a friend, or even on someone you dont really know, by what you say. We recognize this is very hard to do. It is important to know that we are not asking you to do this alone. We are asking you to do this with a couple of friends so you can help each other. Think of yourselves as being part of a team in your classroom and your school. When you go back to your classrooms, your teachers will talk with you about the Get.A.Voice Project. If you choose to be involved, you will be asked to make a promise. That promise is to be more aware of your language and to do your best to stand up and say something when you hear one person making fun of another or putting someone down or being inappropriate. Its about being leaders in making a difference and using a positive voice. Your teachers will share Power Cards and stickers with you, and a postcard will even be sent home to recognize your good decision-making and leadership abilities. Your teachers work very hard not only to teach you but also to make (name of school) a school where each and every one of you feels safe, cared about, and like you belongjust the way you are. No matter what you look like, no matter if you have one friend or ten friends, no matter if you are good in sports or good in science, no matter whether you wear brand labels or not. The adults in your school challenge you to think before you speak, to use your voice respectfully, to stick up for yourself or someone else, and to find ways to be a leader, make a difference, and get a voice!
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GAV Worksheet: Launching the Get.A.Voice Project Name: _____________________________________ __________________ Date: _____________
Kickoff Assembly Follow-Up

What did you like best about the assembly? Why was that your favorite part? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ What does it mean to you to get a voice? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Do you think students are aware of how powerful their words can be? If there were a Get.A.Voice club at school, would you join?
Yes
No
No
Yes
If so, what activities or events would you like a Get.A.Voice club to focus on this year? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Please share any other comments or thoughts: _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 28
Implementing Get.A.Voice in the Classroom

Implementing Get.A.Voice at the classroom level is simply a matter of aligning classroom routines with the way educators want students to listen, speak, and otherwise communicate with all those present. Educators introduce the GAV approach by simply asking students (1) to agree as a group that it is right to communicate in ways that help instead of hurt each other and (2) to make the GAV Promise individually. Educators and staff also make the promise individually, not as a group. Students are encouraged to make the promise, but are not required to do so until they are ready. GAV educators embrace classroom management as the best system to help students be more helpful and less hurtful. A classroom management system includes establishing clear rules and procedures for entering the classroom; putting away backpacks and other material so the floor is clear; immediately engaging academically; helping a teacher monitor and assess student learning and other behavior; organizing seating so students connect with each other and adults can easily reach any student; asking and answering questions, sharing thoughts, etc.; participating; assigning and completing independent and interdependent work; setting and following basic rules of conduct; establishing student seating for specific learning purposes.22 Educators have strengthened classroom management with GAV in these three ways: 1. Creating, agreeing on, and posting a respect rubric. For example:23 What Are We Doing? Waiting turns Asking for help Letting one person speak at a time What Are We Saying? Take another minute, and then Ill go. Excuse me. Can I have help on this? Thanks for waiting until Jose has finished sharing.
The world of work is becoming increasingly more complex. If we do not teach kids to use their voices respectfully now then they will grow up and find themselves ill-equipped for the workplace. Get.A.Voice puts the concept of emotional intelligence into action.
Maria Seddio, President, CORP Talk
What Are We Feeling? Respected Comfortable (not anxious) Cared about
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Replacing sarcasm with positive humor Listening until someone completes a sentence Having a different opinion Helping a peer Working interdependently
Somehow I dont think you really meant to say that! I will wait until youre done, even if I really want to talk! I see her point, but I disagree because Do you want me to show you? We can work with each other even when we might not feel like it.
Included Important Valued Connected Treated fairly
2. Building GAV concepts into praising and correcting students. For example: Thank you for waiting until Tyrese was finished speaking. That makes everyone feel respected! We only say things that help us all learn well and stay safe here. Is making fun of someone who makes a mistake helping or hurting us? 3. Building GAV concepts into how students express themselves in class, either to each other or to adults. For example: Helping students practice using phrases and behaviors in the respect rubric; If consistent with your school or departmental policy, giving a classroom participation grade based in part on how students use the respect rubric. By building GAV into your classroom management, you can empower even the most disconnected kids or adults to enjoy a sense of academic success, a sense of connectedness, and a sense of personal well-being.
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Get.A.Voice Kindness Challenges

It is often more challenging for children to be kind than it is to be mean. Creating and maintaining an intentional culture of kindness requires practice. Kindness challenges encourage students to muster their best selves to notice, not ignore, the environment and others around them. The GAV five-day kindness challenge is designed to follow the kickoff. It is intended to help students develop awareness of language and begin practicing intentional kindness, and to document the individual and collective results of the challenge for teachers, staff, and students. Each day of the challenge will begin with an informative announcement, such as: Welcome to Day 1 of our Get.A.Voice Kindness Challenge! Do you know that it takes 37 muscles to frown and 22 to smile! Make someone smile today; it conserves energy! Think about what you can say to make someones day! Be a leader! Make a difference! Get a voice! It can be made over the intercom system as part of the schools general morning announcements, and end with motivational words, such as the GAV tagline: Be a leader, make a difference, get a voice. It is a good idea to talk with students about the types of language they should be listening for during the challenge. This is especially important because children often dismiss truly hurtful comments made by friends. Is what they are hearing kind/helpful or mean/hurtful, even if the person purports to be just kidding? Discuss the Day 1 examples in the chart below, and brainstorm other examples with students prior to beginning. Create your own chart or use the worksheet on page 33. Make copies for your students to fill out and track for five days.
Five-Day Kindness Challenge Tally

DAY WHAT I HEARD
OMG! Did you see those pants shes wearing? They are so disgusting. What was she thinking?
IT WAS KIND/HELPFUL
IT WAS MEAN/HURTFUL
Day 1
X X X
You totally rock! Thanks for explaining that to me. Im so glad youre my science partner.
You guys, tell him to say it again. Watch him stutter; its soooo funny!
Consider these other kindness challenges or create your own, whether schoolwide, by grade level, or in your own classroom.
Challenge 1: Use these power phrases to speak up and be a voice for someone. (Grades 38)
Language! What do you really mean by that?
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Saying stuff like that just makes people feel bad. Whats up with that? Thats so not funny! Youre such a good kid, but thats so not cool. Why do you have to be so mean? Thats called gossip. And I dont gossip (anymore). And your point is? Thats your opinion and that doesnt make it true. We dont talk like that around here.
Challenge 2: Invite a kid who is alone to sit or play with you and your friends. Challenge 3: Keep a tally of how many times you say, Just kidding. Challenge 4: Give a compliment to someone youre not friends with.
At the end of these challenges, students can be recognized for their efforts. You can hold an assembly or a classroom event and have the students reflect on the past week and how they got a voice. Each student who successfully completed a challenge can receive a small prize and recognition. Schools can reach out to their communities and solicit gift cards to appropriate local businesses, or find another way to recognize the students. Have recipients mentioned over the announcements as well. Create a bulletin board labeled: We Met the Challenge at [Name of School] and put each participants name on it.
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GAV Worksheet: GAV Kindness Challenges
Page 1 of 2
Name: _______________________________________ Dates: ___________________________
GAV Five-Day Kindness Challenge

Ready to take a challenge? How often do you hear your friends and classmates say something about you or someone else that is inspiring, helpful, and nice? How often do you hear your friends and classmates say something about you or someone else that is mean, hurtful, or embarrassing? For the next five days, notice what you are hearing and record your data on this chart. Record three comments each day. DAY 1 WHAT I HEARD IT WAS KIND/HELPFUL IT WAS MEAN/HURTFUL
Number of Comments / %
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GAV Worksheet: GAV Kindness Challenges
Page 2 of 2
GAV Five-Day Kindness Challenge

Write down the comment you found most kind or helpful, and tell why you chose that comment. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
Write down the comment you found most mean or hurtful, and tell why you chose that comment. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
How many comments did you record? ______________________ How many were positive? ________________________________ How many were negative? _______________________________
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Friendship Friday
Friendship Friday is a GAV program that helps participantsboth students and educatorscelebrate each other and share the positive things they notice about the people they spend their days with.21 The following script is very useful to introduce and launch Friendship Friday: How often do you hear kids say things to each other that are not so nice? Every so often or, like, all the time? (Kids largely say All the time!) It actually feels weird for some of you to compliment a friend without being kind of mean, right? Friendship Friday is about mustering our best selves to make someone feel really good. Wouldnt it feel a lot better if I were to say to you, Jack, your drawing looks so realistic! than if I were to say, Jack, thats looking good if youre drawing a hippo! We recognize how uncomfortable it sometimes is for students to pay friends a compliment or even just to say something nice to them. Friendship Friday helps us celebrate someone in our class by making that persons heart grow. Lets be real. The bottom line is, no matter how good an athlete you are, no matter how many friends you have, no matter how smart you are, no matter where you live or what you look like, everyone, if given a choice, wants to fit in, belong, and be accepted. Do you agree? Introduce the following chart to the students to fill out as a class. One row has been completed as an example:
What does a compliment look like?

When the person says it, they are looking at me and it looks like they mean it. Theyre not snickering like its a joke.
What does a compliment sound like?

Youre a really good goalie!
What does a compliment feel like?

It feels great, like someone noticed something about me!
Once students have considered the three questions above, the answers to these next two questions might become clearer: 1. Is it easier to give a compliment or to receive a compliment? 2. Why do you think this is? Take the time to discuss the answers to these questions with your students.
Writing Friendship Friday Notes

Facilitate the activity so that the routine for starting, writing, delivering, and sharing proceeds fluidly. Have a bowl filled and ready to go with blank Friendship Friday notes (see page 38). Remind students that Friendship Friday is about mustering their best selves to make someones day. Pass out the Friendship Friday notes. Have students write their name on the top line and then
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fold their note. Collect all notes in the bowl. (Instruct them not to write anything else except their name on the top line.) Go around to each student and let each pick out a note. The student writes to the person whose name is at the top of the note. Remind students: You want to really notice one thing about that person. Is the person in another class of yours? Are you on the same team? Is this person in the class play? Maybe you know that this person does a sport or an activity after school? Or maybe they made a great play in gym? What can you notice about that person? What do you have in common? What might you be able to say to that person? Have the students deliver their notes to the person they wrote to. Within the limits of available time, have a few students share the notes they received. These notes are theirs to keep, but consider starting a Friendship Friday bulletin board where students can choose to display them.
GAV at a Glance
Friendship Friday is about noticing and writing one specific thing about someone that is true, real, and makes that person feel good.
Ground Rules for Friendship Friday

These ground rules can help the activity run smoothly and effectively: 1. Picking a name out of the bowl: When you pick someones name out of the bowl, there are no sound effects allowed. (Ask students to tell you what they think you mean by that; for example, no sounds, groans, huffing, etc. that show you dont want to write to that person. That is not what Friendship Friday is about!) Also, dont call out the name you got. (Whats the point of doing that anyway?) 2. When writing notes: Be authentic. What have you noticed or observed about the person? Are you in another class together? Are you on the same team? Do you remember something good from another grade? Consider what you might read about yourself that would make you feel good. Be specific. What is one thing you can say to the person? You want to go beyond nice sneakers. It is about the inside of the persontheir personality, their talent, how they made you feel, something good they did, how they helped their team. If you dont know the person, even better. Its a great way to get to know someone. Its okay to be honest and say, I dont really know you, but you seem to be Be real. If it includes just kidding, dont write it. These real examples can help students get the concept: Julia, youre really good at writing pieces in English and youre really smart. Justin Chris, I like your strong opinion on bullying! Sarah Kevin, you are a good friend and you have a good personality. Sean Ethan, youre funny and a good friend to everyone. Dominique Cydney, you are really pretty and I know very good at gymnastics!! xoxo Michele Isabella, I love how youre not afraid to be you. Caitlyn 36
Melanie, you are really talented and a good singer. You did great in the play! Brittany Jack, I really wish I could have seen you swim! Join the swim team. Youll be great! Emily Mark, your personality makes a room shine. You are super nice and kind! Stephen Alex, I dont really know you but you seem really smart and are good at art. Ashley Dylan, youre a really awesome person and its cool how you go with the flow. Justin 3. If students ask, Do we have to sign our names? you can answer, If you really feel good about what you wrote and you can make someones day, why wouldnt you want someone to know you wrote it? And if you dont want to sign your name, you might think about what it is you wrote that makes you not want to attach your name to it. So yes, signing your name is necessary. People want to know who wrote to them. 4. After delivering Friendship Friday notes, ask students to give a thumbs-up if someones note just made their heart grow or made their day. 5. During sharing, enforce the one-voice rule. Many kids may want to talk, laugh, and share with each other, but allowing each student their moment is important to this process, both for the one sharing and the one who wrote the note.
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GAV Worksheet: Friendship Friday
FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!
Were spreading messages of friendship and caring. Here is a message for you!
FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!
(your name)
(your name)
Make someones heart grow today Signed,
2012 ActionWorks, Inc.
FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!
FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!
(your name)
(your name)
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Implementing Get.A.Voice as a Club

A Get.A.Voice club is an effective way of engaging educators and kids in creating a project that is rewarding to the participants and succeeds in connecting with other kids, educators, parents, and others throughout the year. Club members can plan and implement service-learning projects, create and perform theatrical productions, conduct surveys and campaigns to help fight social cruelty and support diversity, and do graphic-arts campaigns to demonstrate how images can have as much power as words in helping all students feel safe and welcome at school and elsewhere. They can use data, brainstorming, opinions, feelings, and inclusive respectful discussion practices to find common ground among their varied interests and to create a plan that helps them concentrate on one theme and one project for the school year. It is traditional for the club advisor to maintain the role of coach, with students using their voices to negotiate how and when to do what project. For example, in one club, members decided to create, implement, GAV at a Glance report, and use the data gathered from a survey regarding friendships in the middle school. They wanted to learn how students Visit www.getavoice. defined, pursued, and experienced friendship, and where bullycom to find out how ing or social cruelty fit into friendship, if at all. With the support of to start your own their advisor and a mathematics teacher strong in statistics, the Get.A.Voice Club. You students collaboratively researched and then created their own can even download a survey. After the entire grade level took the survey anonymously, club application! the GAV club members gathered the data, organized it into a presentation supported by slides on PowerPoint, and presented the data to health classes. Since every student was enrolled in at least one health class, this effectively ensured that all students would learn the I want to see people be nicer results and be invited to consider how to use words and and not tease people for having tone with respect and purpose. braces or pimples or by what
they wear. My best friend was a bully and was always mean to people. I see that much more clearly now.
Gina, age 13
Other examples of GAV successes include students who took a leadership role in participating in their schools assemblies and town meetings; did a content analysis of bias, stereotypes, and destructive or positive images in teen magazines; and created PSAs (public service announcements) about bullying on the bus.
Club Meetings
To start a GAV club: distribute club applications to seek interested students (see page 41); choose a theme and a project for the year; meet weekly after school over the course of the school year, with occasional supplemental meetings conducted, if necessary, during student lunch periods.
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Open club meetings by asking, What is new and good? to create a spirit of sharing that focuses on positive happenings. This part of the meeting can easily turn into a lively chat and take the focus away from its intended purpose, so it is suggested to keep to the guideline that one voice shares at a time. This can take practice, but it is important so that each member is spotlighted, and feels supported and important. Students who are having a bad day or just had a challenge thrown at them may respond Nothing! when asked whats new or good. It is important to help students find at least one thing that is going well or that they are proud of that may be new or good. Though this may be an understandable challenge, it is valuable to help young people remember one thing they can be grateful for in the midst of difficulty.
I want to see less people getting left out and more people becoming friends.
Enjoli, age 12
To meet the criteria for school-based service learning projects, GAV club activities should: be rooted in the content of the curriculum; relate to student priorities; involve students in providing important service to the school community; equip students to plan, implement, measure, and report results of their projects; engage students in reflecting how they have changed as a result of their service to others; incorporate celebration into the overall plan, so students who worked together connect over completing important work that strengthens their school community. GAV clubs often produce an additional intended outcome in sparking student, staff, and parent interest in learning more about GAV and getting more involved in the club as well as other aspects of the program. In this fashion, the GAV club can be a catalyst for creating the kind of positive contagion of GAV practices that can quickly lead to a shift in culture and to bringing about more mindful students.
I want to be a voice for girls, especially, to help them to be more comfortable with expressing themselves.
Dominique, age 14
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GAV Worksheet: Club Meetings Do you see yourself as a leader? Do others see you as a positive role model? Does it bother you when kids treat each other badly or make fun of others? Are you interested in making a difference? Join the Get.A.Voice Club!
Get.A.Voice Club Application

Name: ________________________________________________ Grade: __________________ Teacher: ______________________________ Your e-mail address: ________________________ Choose the statement you feel most strongly about. Explain why this statement is important to you. I dont like when kids tease, make fun, or put each other down, even if they are friends. I think a lot of people may want to stand up for someone and speak up, but they dont for several reasons. I see kids get made fun of, and it really bothers me. believe that words are powerful; they can quickly make you feel really good or really bad! I I see myself as a leader. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Name one person you see as a leader. (This can be a family member, a friend, an author, etc.) _______________________________________________________________________________ Why did you choose this person? ____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ In your opinion or experience, what does it mean to get a voice? _________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ What is something you would like to do to make a difference? _____________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ What other clubs are you involved in? _________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ What sports are you involved with? ___________________________________________________ PLEASE RETURN TO _________________________________________BY___________________
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Action Research Activity for a Get.A.Voice Club

Action research refers to inquiry done by teachers within the context of their environmentthat is, with the students at the school where they workon questions that deal with educational matters at hand. Action research is done with the intent that the research will inform their practices to help students become better learners.24
The action research on page 43 is a simple yet very powerTyrel, age 10 ful way for students to make informal observations about what they are hearing in classrooms, in the hallways or locker room, at lunch, and on the bus. It is suggested that students engage in this action research for three days during school. After placing tally marks in the boxes as they hear comments in the four locations (classroom, hallways/locker room, lunchroom, bus), they can compile individual data by the class and then by grade level. 1. Discuss how you can most effectively use this research in your school. 2. Determine how many days you will commit to doing this in your school. (A minimum of three days is suggested.) 3. Decide how you will share or present your results. Extending this activity: In addition to tallying and comparing each of these areas, consider writing actual phrases that you hear.
I want to be a voice for the kids with no friends. I hate when kids get made fun of. Most of all, I want to have courage to stand up for myself.
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GAV Worksheet: Action Research Activiy Name: _______________________________________________ Date(s): __________________
GAV Action Research
Positive
Negative
Classroom
Hallways or Locker Room
Lunchroom
Bus
TOTAL
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Implementing Get.A.Voice as an Individual

Get.A.Voice is a way of being, of leading. It is a philosophy, not a prescribed activity that is done at a certain time in the school day. All individualsteachers, counselors, social workers, school psychologists, administrators, in-school suspension supervisors, and othersare important in contributing to a culture where members feel safe, valued, accepted, and connected. Here are twenty steps you, as an individual, can take to encourage and live GAV right from the beginning. 1. Be an awesome role model with your words and actions. 2. Notice and praise students who use their voices to communicate with kindness. 3. Explain to your students the significance of your VIP Badge and why it may be meaningful for you. 4. Read a book and open a lively dialogue about it. (See the resource section of www.getavoice.com for a complete listing.) 5. Share your own school experience with your students, whether you were a bully, target, or bystander. 6. Start a list of flower words and weed words. 7. Use phrases from the Power Card. 8. Start a kindness ritual in your classroom; for example, Friendship Friday notes (see page 35). 9. Focus journal entries for the next five days on the following: What does making a promise mean to you? What does getting a voice mean to you? A bystander is someone who sees or hears one person being mean to another but does not offer to help or get help from a caring adult. Have you ever been a bystander or seen someone else be a bystander? Write about the situation. What would school be like if there were no teasing? What does listening to your inner voice mean? 10. Help students devise a short questionnaire about teasing to share with your class or grade level. 11. Use math time to collect and tally results (into percentages for older students). Create a bar chart of findings, and incorporate it into a big poster. 12. Have students create role plays in groups. Involve a role play for each area: the lunchroom, classroom, recess, hallway, playground, and others. Do two takes: before GAV and after GAV. 13. Incorporate a positive tagline after each morning announcement, such as, Be a Leader. Make a Difference. Get a Voice. 44
GAV at a Glance
What rules are posted in your classroom on whats acceptable and what isnt? Sending a message such as This classroom supports kindness and respect is important in providing a springboard for conversation with your students and reminding them of the expectations in your classroom.
14. Redirect students to their GAV Promise in a supportive way if they need help getting back on track with their language. 15. Mail a GAV postcard home to document and celebrate a students progress toward being a leader, making a difference, and getting a voice. 16. In grades K2, ask children to draw how they feel on the playground when people are kind to them or to other people; to draw how they feel on the playground when people are mean to them or to other people; and to draw what they can do to show kindness on the playground. 17. Create a chart with your students to establish an agreed-upon meaning for listening. For example, entries about listening might say: We can tell people are listening if they look at us when we are talking. When people listen to us, we feel like they care. When someone says, Thats what I was thinking! we know that person has listened to us. 18. Create additional charts for concepts such as respect and friendship. 19. Start a kindness challenge in your classroom, with your team, or in your GAV club, or spearhead this effort schoolwide. 20. In the upper grades, help students gather and report information about how they and others feel about using words that show prejudice, such as Youre so gay, or You throw like a girl.
Tips from a School Social Worker: Words to Say25

Most bullying among girls is covert, emotional bullying. Girls tend to go through the back door; for example, exhibiting exclusionary behavior in the cafeteria; making comments to each other about another girls outfit in the one minute before class starts; or whispering comments to each other while laughing and pointing at another girl. This indirect approach is often much more hurtful. The Situation: A girl just said something to another girl. You didnt hear it, but you notice that the second girl looks upset. So often teachers just dont hear the specifics of what kids say to each other. And kids are very shrewd! They say things just at the right time, so that teachers dont hear. In a situation like that, it can be awkward to know what to say, especially if you do not know if the two are friends. Here is one way this situation could play out: Teacher: I noticed that you looked upset after that person just said that to you. Are you okay? (This lets that student know you noticed and that you care. It is important to say even if you do not know whether they are friends or were just kidding.) Student: Yeah, Im fine. (Lots of kids will say they are fine.) Teacher: Are you two friends? Student: Well, yeah, I guess.
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Teacher: You know, it seems like theres something more to this. I mean, I didnt hear what went on, but Im concerned about you. Why dont you just touch base with your guidance counselor? They are so good at helping with this kind of stuff! (Connecting with the student is most important, without your feeling that you have to solve the issue. Follow up by mentioning to the guidance counselor something like, I saw this happen and wanted to make you aware This is so important because teachers are not counselors, but they are a really important bridge between the student and the counseling/guidance staff.) Most bullying among boys is overt. They usually tease another boy in front of other kids, saying things like: Nice shirt! or You look like a retard! They are likely to be more physical: pushing, shoving, kicking, or fooling around. The Situation: You see a boy push another boy in the hallway. It can be very hard to know if students are just kidding around, if they are friends, or if something is really more serious. Here is a very simple, firm but caring statement that sends a respectful message to these students and anyone in earshot. Teacher: I noticed that you kicked that kid. Thats not how we treat people here, friends or not friends. Thats not appropriate. (This sends the message that it is never okay to push, kick, shove, etc. in school whether the kids are friends or not.)
Helping Students Reframe Their Responses

There is always a core reason why something happened. Students often blame others and dont see their own part in a situation. It is important to appeal to the goodness of the student sitting before you. By and large, kids want to do the right thing. They often just dont know how, or it is too risky, or the ramifications seem overwhelming. Here is one way to appeal to students that will help them reflect, reframe, and respond differently to their situation. Counselor: Do you think you are a good person? Student: Yeah Counselor: Would a good person do (say) this to another person? (Try to get students to reflect on their own behavior.) Student: I dont know I was just kidding! Counselor: If thats true, and you were just kidding, then this is an opportunity to know that words are very powerful. Do you know anyone whos been bullied? A friend or a family member? (It can be easier for them to feel compassion if its someone they know or care about.) Student: Yeah. Counselor: Were they kind of hurt or upset or angered by being bullied? Student: Yeah. 46
Every moment of our lives we have the opportunity to brighten someones light or put it out with words, actions, and deeds.
William Bezmen, Ph.D.
Counselor: So you know how horrible it can be to be treated like that, right? You know, you may not like somebody, but there are ways to treat people. Student: Yeah, but Counselor: I know that, in your mind, what you said is really no big deal. But when youre on the other side of it, its a very big deal, right? And you have an opportunity to make a difference, just by making a better decision. So, now that you are aware of this, what will you do differently? (Try to get them to see what other option they have to handle a situation without being mean or cruel.)
Helping Student Bystanders Become Upstanders

The Situation: A girl is being teased and made fun of in the hallway. Kids are laughing. One girl who just stands there watching later goes to her guidance counselor because she feels so bad about what happened. Counselor: What did it feel like to be a bystander? Student: OMG, it was horrible! I felt sooo bad for her! Counselor: Were you glad it wasnt you? (All too often, kids are incredibly relieved that the teasing is not directed at them, but they have difficulty with the fact that they just stood there and didnt know what to do.) Student: I was so relieved. But I felt awful! Counselor: What were you afraid might happen if you told that person to stop? Student: They might have made fun of me. Counselor: If that happened, then what? Student: They would destroy my reputation or tell other friends. Counselor: So if that happens, then what? Student: My life would be over! Counselor: So that person is powerful enough to destroy your life? (Try to get them to see their biggest fear. Most times their biggest fears do not happen.) Student: Yes! Counselor: So what can you do about that? Do you feel there is still a way you could be an upstander to that kid who was being teased? You know, its never too late. You can say something like, I want you to know that I feel bad. I dont like what those kids did. Im sorry I didnt say anything before. I just kinda stood there. You dont deserve that.
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Grade Level Guidelines

As more and more expectations are placed on schools and students, teaching has become increasingly challenging. Adding curriculum or even piloting a new program can seem overwhelming. However, the Get.A.Voice Project is one that can be easily and authentically implemented in any classroom; its vision reflects what all educators surely want their classrooms to be: a place where respectful language is central to academic learning and social interactions and where students feel safe, valued, and connected. Implementing its lessons and activities can help establish an ongoing environment that will be more conducive to learning, minimizing the behavioral interruptions that occur so frequently throughout the school day. These guidelines can be tailored to your own classroom needs and ability levels.
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Grades K2
Implementing Get.A.Voice at the K2 level is extremely valuable, perhaps more so than at any other age. Even in primary grades, children face issues such exclusion, name calling, and meanness, among others. If we can bring them to an understanding and acceptance of the concepts behind GAV when they are this young, their foundational years might be a bit easier for them. The K2 Educator Kit includes: 1 Teacher Promise Card 1 VIP Badge 2 full-color posters 30 Promise Cards 30 postcards 30 bookmarks 30 stickers 30 pencils 30 Family Promise Cards 30 I Stand Up Against Bullying silicone bracelets This guide includes a CD for printing the GAV worksheets.
Promise Card
Use helpful words, not hurtful words.
I Promise to ...
DIF FE
in m
y
Try my best to use my voice to help a friend if someone is being mean.

Do my best to be respectful and caring.
Name: _______________________________________ Teacher: _______________________________________ Grade: ________________ Date:____________________
Be a leader.
I make
RE N
school
CE
Make a dieren
ce.
Get a voice.
K-2
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Vocabulary
We suggest introducing these vocabulary terms along with the questions that follow each term to help expand students understanding. Many of these words are found in the kit materials: Promise Card, posters, bookmark, and stickers. Bullying: Bullying is when a person picks on other kids more than just one time. Bullies may call others names, frighten or physically hurt them, or make them feel left out. Do you think bullies are taught to bully? How can you tell the difference between teasing and bullying? Have you bullied someone else? Have you ever been bullied? Bystander: Someone who witnesses bullying but doesnt get involved. Have you ever seen others stand around or look away when someone was being mean or bullying another kid? Have you ever joined in and become one of a bunch of kids saying or doing something mean? Did you ever join in or follow someone just because that person was popular or funny? Communication: Sharing information with others and ourselves. How do we use words to communicate? (For example, we use words to greet others, tell stories, sing songs, ask questions, and explain something. We speak words, we write words, and we say words with our facial expressions or our body language.) Show what these feelings look like: happy, sad, mad, scared, excited, energetic. How can facial expressions be hurtful? How can they be helpful? Do you communicate with yourself in a kind and positive way or in a negative way? (For example, if you are running to catch a ball, do you tell yourself: I can do it! or do you tell yourself: Ill never catch it!) Compliment: To say something nice to someone. Compliments feel wonderful! Tell about a compliment you gave someone. How did it make you feel to say it? Tell about a compliment you received. How did it make you feel to hear it? Conflict: A disagreement or dispute between two or more people. Have you ever had a conflict with a friend about what game to play? What happened? Were you ever with friends who told you they didnt want to play with you? What happened? Flower words: Helpful words that make you feel good. Think of a time when someone said something that made you feel good inside or made you smile. What did that person say to you? Get.A.Voice buddy: Someone you can trust. Buddies may be your friends but they dont have to be. They might be kids on your bus that you dont really know. You can still agree to be buddies. What would it be like to have a buddy support you when you need it? Tell about a time you were a buddy to someone else. 50
Help: To assist someone or to be useful in some way physically (for example, by getting glue for the others at your table) or emotionally (for example, by cheering up a friend who is sad). Have you helped someone recently? What did you do? Has someone helped you recently? How did it feel to have someone help you? Promise: When you make a promise, you give your word that you will do something. Have you ever made a promise? Has someone ever made a promise to you and kept it? How did that feel? Has someone ever made a promise to you but didnt keep it? How did that feel? Sticking up: Standing up or saying something to help someone. Tell about a time when you saw someone stick up for another person. Have you ever stuck up for kids who needed another voice to help them? What was that like for you? Target: A person who is the recipient of teasing, exclusion, physical abuse, threats, or theft, or who is the subject of rumors or lies. How many have been a target of teasing, name calling, or bullying? What is it like for you to witness someone else who is the target of a bully? Upstander: A person who witnesses bullying and speaks out against it or takes action to stop it. What do you think upstander behavior looks like? Would you say kids in school are mostly bystanders or upstanders? What do you think it would take for more kids to feel safe being upstanders? Weed words: Hurtful words that make you feel bad. Think of a time when someone said something that made you feel bad inside or made you sad. What did that person say to you?
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The First Ten Days

This section is a helpful guideline for introducing the concepts and classroom kit materials to your students.
Day
Suggested Activities
Introduce the idea of a promise, using these questions: What is a promise? Have you ever made a promise? Has someone ever made a promise to you and kept it? How did that feel? Has someone ever made a promise to you but didnt keep it? How did that feel? Invite students to make the GAV Promise. Some students may not want to make the promise at this point, so repeat this invitation over several days or weeks. Model reading the promise for students who cant read. Optimally, one student will make the promise at a time. Have students write their names on their cards (help students who cant yet write their names), and then you sign. In a public display of your own choosing, add their names to the list of those in your class who have participated. Hand out bookmarks and stickers when students make the promise. Have them write their names and decorate their bookmarks.
Day 1
Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6
Make a list of flower words and weed words with students, and complete the related worksheet (see page 54). Introduce and discuss the Words we share to show we care poster. Introduce and discuss the When we work and when we play poster, and complete the related worksheet (see page 55). There are many ways to do this activityin a whole group, in small groups, or with buddies. Reinforce rules for listening. Introduce the GAV pencil and discuss its message: Its Cool 2B Kind! Practice the skills covered in the posters. Trace each childs hand on a piece of paper. Ask children to think of different ways people can be kind to others. Write their ideas on each finger of the hand drawing. The drawing can be cut out, mounted, and decorated, and it can also be put on display. Give each student a cutout of a person, or have one large cutout for the class. Ask them to write hurtful words on the cutout. Have the students crumple up the paper and then try to flatten it out. Discuss how, just as the creases remain in the paper, hurtful words stay with us forever. Go over the meaning of the sticker: Being kind is powerful. What does this mean to students? Discuss different types of communication (see page 50).
Day 7
Day 8 52
Day 9 Day 10
Start a wall or bulletin board challenge for children to come up with 100 ways to be kind to each other, teachers, parents, friends, siblings, and the community in general. Invite any students who did not yet make the GAV Promise to do so today. Randomly have students turn to another student and pay them a compliment using one of the sentence starters from the Words we share to show we care poster.
Its cool 2 B kind!
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Grades K2 GAV Worksheet: The First Ten Days, Day 2
Name: _____________________________________ Date: ______________ Here is a picture of how I feel when I hear flower words.
Flower words make me feel ________________________________________ Here is a picture of how I feel when I hear weed words.
Weed words make me feel _________________________________________

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Grades K2 GAV Worksheet: The First Ten Days, Day 4
Name: _____________________________________ __ Date: _____________ When we work and when we play, these are words we say each day: That made me feel special when You are really good at
I am glad that
I like it when you
Thank you for
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Situations and Solutions

These situations and solutions are based on stories contributed by teachers as well as on the authors firsthand experience. The Situation: Theres too much talk after recess! The Solution This daily class activity developed out of a need to help the children solve playtime conflicts. Kids would often come into class after recess and want to share their stories about what had happened. It took too much time from class, yet it was very important to find a way to listen, problem solve, and move on. After recess, the children were greeted at the door by their teacher. Students were given fifteen minutes to discuss any problems that had occurred on the playground; a timer was used to keep to the time. They brainstormed ways to solve the problems and prevent them from happening again. At first, the timer would ring before the kids had finished their sharing. But as the kids became used to the timer, the discussions became more focused. As the year went on, the discussions began to center on the good things that occurred at recess, rather than the problems. This daily class activity saved time, provided an appropriate model for solving playtime conflicts, and helped children use their own voices effectively and appropriately. The Situation: Students are being bossy, not sharing, or taking things that do not belong to them. The Solution When these, or similar situations occurred in class, my co-teacher and I would perform an improv skit. We would incorporate our skit into a daily activity without the students realizing we were actually performing with the intent of reflecting a behavior or situation in class. To make sure the students realized what was wrong, we exaggerated our emotions during the skit, causing a purposeful scene in class. Afterward, we would talk with the class about what happened and why; then we would tie it back to the problem in class.
Activities
Activity 1: A Quick Skit Goal: To demonstrate how kids can use helpful words Background: Kids dont necessarily intend to hurt others, but its important to know that words matter. We can lift others up with our words and make them feel great, really fast. And we can put others down with our words and make them feel very sad and bad really fast, too. Children need to know that they own their words and actions, that they can learn to think before they speak and act. Teaching children the importance of choosing helpful words as opposed to hurtful words is the foundation for social interactions that can make school a safer and more productive social and emotional learning environment. It will serve to eliminate bullying by instilling leadership skills, confidence, and personal power and is the framework for further training and participation in the GAV project for older children. 56
This activity consists of two role plays intended to show how to move from hurtful words to helpful words. Take 1 depicts what would have happened before GAV. Take 2 is a reenactment of the same situation with a GAV solution. Have students share a situation where kids arent getting along. This could be on the playground, during an activity in class, in the lunchroom, or on the bus. From their responses, create a skit that includes five characters: 1. The target, who is being made fun of 2. The meanie, who is using hurtful or mean words toward another, even under the guise of kidding 3. The friend of the meanie, who laughs and chimes in when the meanie calls the target names, or makes fun of, puts down, or is mean to the target 4. The first witness, who sees and hears what is going on 5. The second witness, who also sees and hears what is going on Take 1: Direct students to enact the scenario where the meanie picks on the target for a specific reason. The friend of the meanie chimes in by laughing or adding to what the meanie said. The target may or may not respond. The two witnesses stand there and watch but do not say anything. Questions for students: How often do you see kids act the way the kids acted in Take1? With a show of hands, who can relate to being a witness? Who can relate to being a target? Who can relate to being the friend of a meanie? Who can relate to being a meanie? How many would say they have been both a target and a meanie? Take 2: Instruct students to enact the same scenario, but this time, instead of the two witnesses standing there and watching, one of them gets a voice, by stepping in and saying something, such as, Hey, [name] is my friend. Dont say that about her [him]! The second witness becomes a GAV buddy by supporting the witness and saying something to the meanie and the friend of the meanie in a kind way; for example, Yeah, I dont know why youd say that. Thats not very nice. Questions for students: To the whole group: What did you notice that was different in Take 2? (Make a list of everything they observed.) To the target: What was it like to have two friends step in and support you? To the first witness: What was it like to get a voice, knowing that you werent the only one stepping up to say something because a GAV buddy was right next to you? To the second witness: How did it feel to know you were key to that whole situation? To the meanie: What was it like for you to not get the attention you may have wanted from your peers this time?
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To the friend of the meanie: What might have been different for you in Take 2? To the whole group: When the first witness stepped in, as all of you are very capable of doing, and was immediately followed by the support of the second witness, how did that change the whole scenario? Reflection: Engage students in highlighting the important aspects and terms of the role play: Words do matter. Words cannot be taken back. Words can really hurt someone or help someone to feel good. Saying just kidding doesnt erase hurtful words. Activity 2: Resolving Conflict Goal: To demonstrate how to work through disagreement or conflict in an actual situation Identify a conflict, disagreement, or situation that occurred between students. Invite students who were involved in the conflict to act out the situation in a role play or using puppets from the classroom (or puppets they create). As the students explain what happened (what they saw, said, did, didnt do, wanted, etc.), repeat their words as closely as possible. Stop at the moment the conflict escalated to its highest point and ask the children to identify the problem. What did each of them want or need? Questions for students: What was the first step in this conflict? What was next? What words or behaviors made the conflict worse? How can this situation be resolved? Use the worksheet on page 61 to extend the activity. Activity 3: K2 Literature Connections Appreciating Each Other with Our Words Literature is a powerful tool that can be used in any classroom, especially a primary one. Books, stories, and poems can introduce or reinforce a concept and naturally open a dialogue. Book Selection 1: Im Like You, Youre Like Me: A Book About Understanding and Celebrating Each Other, by Cindy Gainer Summary: This book is an introduction to tolerance and diversity for young children. Illustrations and simple text explore ways in which children are alike and different. Activity: Read the story aloud. Elicit the idea of how important it is for everyone to understand and appreciate people who are different from themselves. Begin by asking students to look at each other. After a few minutes, have students buddy up and ask them to comment on how their classmates look the same and different (e.g., hair color, eye color, height). Next, ask students to interview their buddies about activities they like to do. What do they have in common? What do they not have in common? The lesson is that sometimes people have things in common and sometimes they dont, but they can appreciate each other no matter what. Students can use the 58
worksheet on page 62 to record their similarities and differences. The blank lines can be used to add other areas. Name Calling or Making Fun of Someone Name calling, in any form, cannot be tolerated. This book addresses the concept of making fun of someone based on their race and ethnicity. Book Selection 2: Chinese Eyes, by Marjorie Ann Waybill Summary: An adopted Korean girl gets a lesson in how unimportant it is that some people think she is different. The story involves a first-grader who is bothered by two third-grade boys in the cafeteria. Activity: Ask students to think about a time someone called them a name and how it made them feel. If they are comfortable enough to share their experience, have them do so. Also, ask how this name calling made their body feel (e.g, sick stomach, tears forming); it is important to be able to recognize the physical repercussions of feeling hurt as well as the emotional side. Read the story, and then discuss how the boys who tease Becky are actually incorrect in calling her Chinese eyes because she is Korean. This might be an opportunity to talk briefly about the differences in Asian facial features, as well as those of other racial/ethnic groups. Role play ways in which Becky could have used her voice to stand up for herself. Extension: In this story, Becky has good friends that she can count on. Have the students use the worksheet on page 63 to write about a time when a good friend stood up for them. Making Good Choices and Getting Along All children have the power to make good choices and get along with others at school. Book Selection 3: We Can Get Along: A Childs Book of Choices, by Lauren Murphy Payne Summary: Using simple text, the book describes how it feels when people get along well together and when they do not, and it explains that one has control over how one reacts in both kinds of situations. Activity: Read the story. Then ask students to share how kids get along in the classroom, in the cafeteria, on the playground, and on the bus. Use a large sheet of tagboard to write down their responses. Ask: How does it feel when things are peaceful and calm among your friends? What happens when someone doesnt use peaceful behaviors? Introduce the expression Think before you speak or act and generate conversation about it. Explain that when youre angry or hurt it is easy to say things you might not actually mean. Use the saying Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never harm you, and discuss how that saying isnt really true. Name calling does hurt! Extension: Using the worksheet on page 64, have students draw pictures showing children getting along and treating each other nicely. Divide the pictures by location: in the classroom, in the cafeteria, on the playground, on the bus, etc. Display the drawings on a bulletin board with a heading such as: The Golden Rule: Treat Others As You Want to Be Treated!
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Words Are Stronger Than Fists Bullies harm people in many different waysphysically, mentally, and emotionally. Book Selection 4: King of the Playground, by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor Summary: Kevins playtime is no fun anymore. Whenever he goes to the playground, Sammy starts to bully him. But Kevins dad believes that words are stronger than fists. Activity: Ask students to share their understanding of the word bully. Can they explain what bullying behavior looks like? Discuss the idea that bullies often have a problem inside themselves that they take out on others. They like to hurt and frighten people they see as smaller or weaker; they like to be in control. They have difficulty being kind, showing empathy, and getting along with others, and they arent necessarily good at keeping friends. Extension: Have students make bully-proof badges, using a ribbon-award pattern or an actual plastic button. Have each student write a message or slogan on the badge. Students can proudly wear their badges for one full day and help generate discussion among other classes. This simple act can actually empower students to feel more confident and better able to handle situations that might arise. Words Are Not for Hurting Words are powerful and are not for hurting. Young children need to understand that their words affect other people. Book Selection 5: Words Are Not for Hurting, by Elizabeth Verdick Summary: This basic picture book, perfect for kindergarten, encourages students to use helpful, not hurtful, words. Activity: After reading this story, reinforce the meaning of kind, helpful words. Talk about complimentswhat they are and why they leave others with a good feeling inside. Encourage students to offer a sincere compliment to someone else and then to practice responding to the compliment theyve been given. Extension: Create a bulletin board with one of these ideas: We promise to use helpful, not hurtful, words. My promise is important. I care about myself and others, and others care about me! I make a difference in my school!
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Grades K2 GAV Worksheet: Resolving Conflict
Name: _____________________________________ Date: _______________
What will make this SITUATION better for Student A and Student B?
Student A: ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Student B: ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
What words or actions made the conflict worse?

What were the WORDS? What were the ACTIONS?
Then what happened?
What was the PROBLEM?
What did you see? What did you say? What did you do? What didnt you do?
Then what happened?
Student A: ______________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ Student B: ______________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ Get.A.Voice Educators Guide
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Grades K2 GAV Worksheet: Appreciating Each Other with Our Words
Name: _____________________________________ Date: ______________
Alike and Different

ME HAIR COLOR MY BUDDY SAME DIFFERENT
EYE COLOR WRITING HAND FAVORITE SPORT BIRTHDAY
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Grades K2 GAV Worksheet: Name Calling or Making Fun of Someone
Name: _____________________________________ Date: ______________
When My Friend Stood Up For Me!

Write about a time a good friend stood up for you. What was the situation? How did it feel? ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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Grades K2 GAV Worksheet: Making Good Choices and Getting Along
Name: _____________________________________ Date: ______________
Getting Along
Draw pictures that show children getting along and treating each other nicely in these locations.
In the Classroom
In the Cafeteria
On the d Playgroun
On the Bus
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Grades 35
Implementing Get.A.Voice in grades 35 is geared toward the increasing independence of this age group. This is a You feel really happy when time when children start to become more self-aware and someone sticks up for you when teasing and bullying can begin to have a real im- because you know someone pact on their learning, their friendships, their feelings of cares enough to say something. success, and their whole school experience. At this level, Des, age 11 GAV teaches students ways to express themselves at ages when self-expression may be difficult to accomplish. It is important for students to understand the difference between intent and impact. Kids often do not intend to be mean or hurtful. But just because it is not their intent doesnt mean that what they say or do does not have an impact. The 35 Educator Kit includes: 1 Teacher Promise Card 1 VIP Badge 2 full-color posters 30 Promise Cards 30 Power Cards 30 postcards This guide includes a CD for printing the GAV worksheets. 30 bookmarks 30 stickers 30 pencils 30 Family Promise Cards 30 I Stand Up Against Bullying silicone bracelets
Promise Card
I Promise to ...
Be AWARE of my language, even when Im just kidding! remember that the words we use show how we feel about ourselves at that moment. Do my best to stand up for myself and others when someone is being hurt, made fun of, or bullied.
o
ur
voices to

Make a dieren ce. Be a leader. Get a voice.
AN ST
for what
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gh
UP
We u se
3-5
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Vocabulary
Introduce these vocabulary terms, and use the questions to expand students understanding of them. Help students understand that their words and actions dont just happen. They can think before they speak or act. Bullying: Bullying is when a person uses real or perceived power and/or strength to intimidate, tease, hurt, or humiliate others, usually those who are (or are perceived to be) different in a socially unacceptable way. Bullying generally involves repeated behavior. Do you think bullies are taught to bully? How can you tell the difference between teasing and bullying? Have you bullied someone else? Have you ever been bullied? Bystander: A person who is present and watches an event or injustice without speaking out, or doing something to stop it, such as getting someone else to help. Have you ever seen others stand around or look away when someone was being mean or bullying another kid? Have you ever joined in and become one of a bunch of kids saying or doing something mean? Did you ever join in or follow someone just because that person was popular or funny? Communication: Sharing information with others and ourselves. How do we use words to communicate? (For example, we use words to greet others, tell stories, sing songs, ask questions, and explain something. We speak words, we write words, and we say words with our facial expressions or our body language.) Ask students to use facial expressions or body language to show what these feelings look like: happy, sad, mad, scared, excited, energetic. How can facial expressions be hurtful? How can they be helpful? Do you communicate with yourself in a kind and positive way or in a negative way? (For example, if you are running to catch a ball, do you tell yourself: I can do it! or do you tell yourself: Ill never catch it!) Compliment: To say something nice to someone. Compliments feel wonderful! Tell about a compliment you gave someone. How did it make you feel to say it? Tell about a compliment you received. How did it make you feel to hear it? Conflict: A disagreement or dispute between two or more people. Have you ever had a conflict with a friend about what game to play? What happened? Were you ever with friends who told you they didnt want to play with you? What happened? Contempt: Looking down on other people because you think you are better than they are, or you feel that there is something wrong with them and they dont deserve to be liked or respected. Have you ever met or seen someone and immediately thought, Ill never be friends with that person! because you thought he or she was a loser or different? Did you end up getting to know this person? If so, did your opinion change? 66
Get.A.Voice buddy: Someone you can trust. Buddies may be your friends but they dont have to be. They might be kids on your bus that you dont really know. You can still agree to be buddies. What would it be like to have a buddy support you when you need it? Tell about a time you were a buddy to someone else. Gossip: To talk about someone, spreading or revealing personal information about them even when you dont know its true. Have you shared personal or secret information about someone with another person? Has a friend told you a secret about someone else and asked you not to tell (in conversation, text, or online)? What do you think people get out of being part of gossip (either starting it, spreading it, or listening to it)? Help: To assist someone or to be useful in some way physically (for example, by helping others clean up) or emotionally (for example, by cheering up a friend who is sad). Have you helped someone recently? What did you do? Has someone helped you recently? How did it feel to have someone help you? Helpful words: Words that make the listener feel good. Think of a time when someone said something that made you feel good inside or made you smile. What did that person say to you? Hurtful words: Words that hurt the listener. Think of a time when someone said something that made you feel bad inside or made you sad. What did that person say to you? Impact: To have a strong effect. (When dealing with bullying behaviors or harassment, the impact is more important than the intent.) Have you ever had an impact on someone (positively or negatively)? How might you influence a person or a situation in a positive way? A negative way? How might calling someone a loser, for example, impact that person? How does your language impact how others feel about themselves? Intent: The purpose or motivation behind what you say or do. (Its tricky because someone can get hurt or offended even if that was not your intent.) Have you ever had a misunderstanding where someone got hurt by what you said even if that wasnt your intent? Have you ever been hurt by what someone said and later found that person did not intend to hurt you? Personal power: Being secure and confident inside yourself because you feel good about you your skill, your talent, your personality, your accomplishments. It is power within oneself, not power over someone else. What does being confident feel like?
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What helps you feel confident and secure in yourself? What is something about youa skill, talent, personality trait, or accomplishmentthat helps you feel good about being you? Promise: When you make a promise, you give your word that you will do something. Have you ever made a promise? Has someone ever made a promise to you and kept it? How did that feel? Has someone ever made a promise to you but didnt keep it? How did that feel? Self-esteem: Feeling good about yourself, being proud of yourself on the inside. Self-esteem is not about feeling superior to others. Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror, or do you believe others look better and dress better than you? Do you think you are a good, reliable, and honest person? Can you name your own unique talents? Do you find yourself speaking up for yourself, or do you tend to take what others say and not speak up? Social cruelty: Actions (such as teasing, exclusion, bullying, spreading rumors, or ganging up on someone) intended to make one seem more important or powerful, especially in the eyes of friends. Have you ever been embarrassed, humiliated, or hurt by what someone said to you or about you, even if they were just kidding? Did this occur by text, online, or face to face? Have you ever picked on, made fun of, joked about, spread a rumor about, left out, or been just plain cruel to others, even if you didnt intend to hurt anyone? Sticking up: Standing up or saying something to help someone. Sticking up for oneself or others may be direct (for example, saying something in the moment, such as We dont do that here) or indirect (for example, going to an adult or not writing something on Facebook). Tell about a time when you saw someone stick up for another person. Have you ever stuck up for someone who needed another voice to help them? What was that like for you? Target: A person who is the recipient of teasing, exclusion, physical abuse, threats, or theft, or who is the subject of rumors or lies. How many have been a target of teasing, name calling, or bullying? What is it like for you to witness someone else who is the target of a bully? Upstander: A person who witnesses an injustice and speaks out against it or takes action to stop it. What do you think upstander behavior looks like? Would you say kids in school are mostly bystanders or upstanders? What do you think it would take for more kids to feel safe being upstanders? 68
The First Ten Days

Day
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7
Suggested Activities
Introduce the idea of a promise, beginning with the question: What is a promise? Review and discuss the Power Card. Point out that when we dont know what to say to stand up for ourselves or others, the statements on the card can help. Review and discuss the GAV posters. Play the Compliment Game (see page 75). Introduce Friendship Friday (see page 35). Come up with three appropriate comebacks that could be added to the GAV Power Card, or come up with a classroom power card. Give each student a cutout of a person, or have one large cutout for the class. Ask them to write hurtful words on the cutout. Have the students crumple up the paper and then try to flatten it out. Discuss how, just as the creases remain in the paper, hurtful words stay with us forever. Ask the class: How can you stand up for what is right? What positive words can we use when we are put in a bad situation? Give each student an index card. Ask them to rate themselves from 13 (1=not mindful; 2=sometimes mindful; 3=always mindful) on how mindful they are of their vocabulary. Have the students write one or two ways to either become more mindful or continue staying mindful. This rating is private. Have the students fold their cards and put their names on the blank side. Collect the cards and put them in an envelope. Next month, distribute the cards and have them rate themselves again. Did they improve? Continue doing this activity monthly. Friendship Friday (see page 35)!
Day 8
Day 9
Day 10
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These situations and solutions are based on stories contributed by teachers as well as on the authors firsthand experience. The Situation: Kids on the playground were complaining about others not getting along. The Solution
I selected two students to be GAV mentors who would help spot what was happening. The class was told that Janessa, age 10 everyone would have a turn to be a mentor for a week and that it was important that everyone participate. On Fridays a new pair of mentors would be chosen, and the outgoing mentors would be honored with certificates. Although some didnt want to do it at first (because of what other kids might say to them), when they knew everyone was in it together, they relaxed and felt it was okay to do. I emphasized that this was not about tattling, but about highlighting the good stuff. Every afternoon, the mentors would give a brief report, with the emphasis on the positive, not on tattling (e.g., I saw four people use their voices or We saw Dakota invite Hunter to play on her team. ) We created a classroom chart to highlight Positive Voices. Over time, the complaining lessened, and the positive interactions increased. Kids wanted to be noticed for the good stuff! The Situation: Students frequently interrupted teachers who were speaking to other students or adults in the classroom. The Solution Classroom procedures set up at the beginning of the school year included a respect clause and a discussion of the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Students were guided to practice being courteous by politely being told to wait elsewhere until a conversation was finished. Teachers would show the same courtesy to students. Students were made aware that it was okay to politely interrupt in the case of an emergency; for example, by saying, Excuse me, Mrs. Smith! I think we have an emergency! The Situation: Students used hurtful expressions in conversation, even when they didnt realize it. The Solution The dialogue below illustrates how this common situation would be handled. Teacher: When you said, That book is so gay, what did you mean? Student: I mean its so weird. Teacher: Then say what you mean. Gay does not mean weird. Student: I can say whatever I want. Teacher: Not in our school. We dont put people down here and when you say that, that is exactly what you are doing. If you think the book is weird, then say that, and you can explain why you feel that way. But saying the book is gay doesnt even make sense, and youre using the word inappropriately. 70
A lot of kids get picked on in the lunchroom. I even did it. Just the other day, I apologized to a kid I said something mean to. I think more about what I say.
The Situation: A student was left out from a lunch table. The Solution As illustrated in the following dialogue, students were provided with options that allowed them to see other possibilities for handing the situation. And just as (or even more) important is the fact that the students were introduced to the concept of collective courage, where the choice to do the right thing isnt a burden, but an act shared by a student and a chosen friend. This type of dialogue between teacher and student is most effective when done quietly, away from the situation, so that all interactions remain respectful and all students can be treated with dignity and without embarrassment. Student (to another student): You cant sit here. Teacher: I hear that you said Jessica couldnt sit here. What do you mean by that? Student: Theres no room for her. Teacher: Hmm you dont think theres any room? Student: No. And besides, were not really friends with Jessica. Teacher: I see So what might it be like if you invited Jessica to sit with you so that (1) you can be a friend and (2) she can feel included? Student: Well, Im afraid my friends will get mad at me if I include her. Teacher: So thats the real issue. Thanks for your honesty in realizing that. Well, lets see. Heres an idea. Which of your friends could you ask to join you in inviting Jessica to sit with both of you? (Asking this question most often elicits the name of at least one other friend who would want to help). Or heres another ideaif your friends dont want to include her, what if you both suggest that youll sit with Jessica somewhere else?
Before, everyone felt a little scared and embarrassed to say something to someones face. Now we use the Power Card, and I think the bullies are the ones embarrassed.
Jack, age 9
Activities
Activity 1: CompromiseCan We All Agree? Goal: Students will learn to compromise with each other to achieve a common goal and will speak respectfully throughout interactions. Conflict can be very productive. When people disagree, they must work together to find a solution that works best for everyone. Often through this debate, many details that may have been overlooked by some will be noticed by another and brought to the attention of the whole group. One of the most important skills for students to learn is the ability to compromise. By compromising, each person or group can at least get some of what they wanted. Debate and compromise are useful ways of crafting the best solution to a problem. Tell the students that they will be planning a party for the class, but they must find a plan that works for a majority of the class members. Tell them that any plan must have final approval from you and that you can veto any plan that you find inappropriate. Dont give any other rules for their planning.
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1. Divide the class into groups of four or five. Consider having a group leader and person to take notes for each group. 2. Create a planning worksheet that establishes criteria for groups to think about (see page 73). 3. Using the following questions, review your expectations for respectful listening to each other in your group: What does listening with respect sound like? Sample response: Not talking while someone else is talking; responding by answering the question What does listening with respect look like? Sample response: Looking at the person who is talking What does listening with respect feel like? Sample response: Like you really care about the other person
Some kids are still scared to get their voice. I was that person but I am feeling more confident and better about saying something like, Language! It really does work!
Liza, age 11
4. Using the following questions, review what it means to be appreciated: What does appreciation sound like? Sample response: You are really organized so you would be good at taking our group notes. What does appreciation look like? Sample response: The person smiled when expressing appreciation What does appreciation feel like? Sample response: A high-five; a feeling of happiness at being noticed 5. Designate an amount of time that the groups will have to come up with a plan. At the end of that time, the spokesperson for each group will briefly share their groups plan. 6. Students must come up with one plan for the whole class based on what they know the other groups want. Using the blackboard, facilitate a process that focuses on the points the groups have in common. 7. Give each group ten minutes to revise their plan. At the end of ten minutes, call the groups together and discuss plans. 8. Remind students that they have a common goal and that they must agree on a plan. Without compromise, the goal of this activity will not be met. 9. Put the plans to a vote, or create one plan based on the class discussion and then vote on it. Continue revising and voting until one plan emerges as the clear winner of the majority of students. 10. Ask the students to rate their experience on a scale from 1 to 10 (see page 74).
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Grades 35 GAV Worksheet: CompromiseCan We All Agree? Name: _________________________________________________ Date: __________________
Party Planning
1. What is the reason for having a party? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 2. What time of day will the party be? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 3. What is an appropriate length of time for the party? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 4. What food and drink will be best for this party? How will it be paid for? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 5. What is the role of the students during the party? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 6. What is the role of the teacher during the party? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 7. How will this party be an event that makes each student feel appreciated? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
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Grades 35 GAV Worksheet: CompromiseCan We All Agree? Name: _________________________________________________ Date: __________________
Compromising
On a scale from 1 to 10, rate your experience in compromising. Did you find it easy or difficult to compromise?
1=easy 10=difficult 1 Easy 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Difficult
Did your classmates use kind language when working through this problem solving?
1=all the time 10=not very often 1 All the time 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Not very often
Did you use kind language?

1=all the time 10=not very often 1 All the time 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Not very often
How often did you feel you were listened to?

1=all the time 10=not very often 1 All the time 74
10 Not very often
Activity 2: Kids as Media Researchers Goal: To help children identify language in popular television shows Prior to the activity, record an episode of a popular TV show for children. Watch it and note where you might want students to pause the episode to address kind language and unkind language. In class, explain to children that they will be watching a popular television show as researchers. Their job will be to compare the kind language and the unkind language used by a character in the show. Remind them that they will watch in a different way, as if they are putting on another pair of glasses. (You may even want to display a pair of fake glasses to remind students that they are watching as researchers.) Guide students to focus on one character who is often known to be mean. Keep a two-column chart to tally kind vs. unkind language. Students will tally their findings and create a bar graph or pie chart of their results. Label the findings. Questions for students: What did you notice about the language used? What were the results of your tally? Were you surprised? Why or why not? How can you use your voice to teach others about your findings? Activity 3: The Compliment Game Goal: To practice giving sincere compliments Giving compliments can be uncomfortable for kids. This game is good to play with a group of children, especially if they are not friends or dont hang out together, or have personality conflicts. Form smaller groups, and give each child a piece of paper. Ask them to tear it into pieces so that there is one for each child in their group. On each piece of paper, they should write the name of one child in their group, and then list all of the positive characteristics they can think of about that child. Try to have them focus on personality traits and behaviors, not physical attributes. When children have completed their lists, they should put them into a box. An adult in the group can read aloud all of the positive comments about each child. Children are usually very surprised at how many great things are said about them. Children can keep their lists in a folder or notebook, or the lists can be displayed on a bulletin board. Activity 4: Developing Personal Power Goal: To help students feel good about themselves (without having to make someone else feel bad!) Teaching children to take pride in themselves and feel good about themselves when they do the right thing (and to take responsibility when they dont) helps them develop a sense of personal power. When people know themselves and feel good about who they are, there is often no need to put others down.
It takes time to convince people that this works, but I know how I feel if someone sticks up for me. I feel stronger and not so afraid that a kid will tease me.
Sanjay, age 10
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Discuss these four concepts with the group: 1. Before we can stick up for others or ourselves, we must have both personal power and selfesteem. 2. Personal power involves taking responsibility for our feelings, words, and actions, and getting to know ourselves. 3. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves on the inside. It comes from knowing ourselves, recognizing our unique talents and gifts, and being proud of ourselves. 3. Contempt is at the root of bullying and violence. In order to tease and bully others, we must feel contempt for them and believe that their wants, needs, and feelings dont matter. When we feel bad about something in ourselves or inferior to others in some way, we may act arrogant, superior, or aggressive (like a bully), and treat others as if they are beneath us. When we feel contempt (jealousy, envy, dislike, fear, or hatred) toward someone, it is often because we dont have positive self-esteem. Ask students to complete the self-esteem worksheet (see page 77) by writing down three things they said or did that made them feel proud of themselves. Examples include: An activity you took part in A problem you solved Someone you stood up to or stuck up for A decision you made Someone you helped A positive way you used your voice A positive risk you took Something you did on your own without being asked Something that took courage Something good that you did for yourself
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Grades 35 GAV Worksheet: Developing Personal Power Name: _________________________________________________ Date: __________________
Feeling Good from the Inside Out!

Day 1. Write down three things you said or did that made you feel proud of yourself. Why did these things make you feel so good about yourself? 1. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Day 2. Write down three things you said or did that made you feel proud of yourself. Why did these things make you feel so good about yourself? 1. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Day 3. Write down three things you said or did that made you feel proud of yourself. Why did these things make you feel so good about yourself? 1. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
Be proud of yourself three times a day, even on the weekends!

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Grades 68
In the middle school years, reliance on peers for social support is coupled with increasing pressure to attain social status. We may see sixth-graders, for example, who want to fit in and so adopt the behaviorsincluding teasingof those students who have been in the school longer and who have more power to dictate the social norm. For girls, being mean is sometimes a way to be popular. Additionally, homophobic epithets are hurled among middle school boys largely as a means of policing one another into narrow gender prescriptions. Helping adolescents learn how to manage, and potentially change, the pressure to hurt their classmates in order to fit in is extremely important.In these grades, Get.A.Voice teaches students to communicate with others in kind and respectful ways and to express themselves at a level that will carry them into high school and beyond. The 68 Educator Kit includes: 1 Teacher Promise Card 1 VIP Badge 2 full-color posters 30 Promise Cards 30 Power Cards 30 postcards This guide includes a CD for printing the GAV worksheets. 30 bookmarks 30 stickers 30 pencils 30 Family Promise Cards 30 I Stand Up Against Bullying silicone bracelets
Promise Card
I Promise to ...
Be MINDFUL that the words I use face-2-face or in cyberspace can be hurtful, mean, or disrespectful, even when Im just kidding! Be more RESPECTFUL, INCLUSIVE and CARING, even when I dont feel like it. Do my best to STAND UP for myself or others when I WITNESS social cruelty, exclusion, or disrespect, even among friends.
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voices to

Be a leader.
Make a dieren ce. Get a voice.
D AN ST
UP
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We u se
for what
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Introduce the promise after reading a relevant story, poem, article, or journal entry (e.g., about respect, how kids treat each other, feelings, friendship, the meaning of words, etc.). Allow for the possibility that some students may prefer to make their promises privately. To emphasize the importance of GAV and to establish a positive school climate, establishing positive affirmation is strongly suggested. Students often like to clap after watching each of their classmates make the promise, even at the middle school level. Affirmation greatly encourages others to want to step up and show leadership. Have students sign their own Promise Cards, then you sign. In a public display of your own choosing, add their names to the list of those in your class who have participated.
Vocabulary
Using these vocabulary terms, help students understand that their words and actions dont just happen. They can think before they speak or act. Bullying: Bullying is when a person uses real or perceived power and/or strength to intimidate, tease, hurt, or humiliate others, usually those who are (or are perceived to be) different in a socially unacceptable way. Bullying generally involves repeated behavior. Bystander: A person who is present and watches an event or injustice without speaking out, or doing something to stop it, such as getting someone else to help. Communication: Sharing information with others and ourselves. We use words to greet others, tell stories, sing songs, ask questions, and explain something. We speak words, we write words, and we say words with our body language and our facial expressions, which can be hurtful or helpful. Compassion: Having heart. Recognizing the suffering or unhappiness of another and trying to do something to make that situation better, or at least being very concerned about it. Conflict: A disagreement or dispute between two or more people. Contempt: Looking down on other people because you think you are better than they are, or you feel that there is something wrong with them and they dont deserve to be liked or respected. Get.A.Voice buddy: Someone you can trust. Buddies may be your friends but they dont have to be. They might be kids on your bus that you dont really know. You can still agree to be buddies. Gossip: To talk about someone, spreading or revealing personal information about them even when you dont know its true. Impact: To have a strong effect. (When dealing with bullying behaviors or harassment, the impact is more important than the intent.) Inclusive: Including people of all kinds; being nondiscriminating. Intent: The purpose or motivation behind what you say or do. (Its tricky because someone can get hurt or offended even if that was not your intent.) Mindful: Being aware of and being considerate about what is going on around you. Personal power: Being secure and confident inside yourself, without having to demean, degrade, make fun, or put down someone else. Prejudice: Forming a negative opinion about a person or group of people based on feelings without a factual basis for the judgment.
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Promise: Stating what you will do by agreeing to follow a certain set of actions or ideas. Self-esteem: Feeling good about yourself, being proud of yourself on the inside. Self-esteem is not about feeling superior to others. Social cruelty: Actions (such as teasing, exclusion, bullying, spreading rumors, or ganging up on someone) intended to make one seem more important or powerful, especially in the eyes of friends. Social status: Your position with respect to importance, power, and popularity in relation to the people you socialize or hang out with. Standing up: Facing a situation fairly, evenly, and boldly, even if it is socially difficult or physically threatening. Stereotype: The idea that all people in a given group share some kind of characteristic, such as intelligence, criminality, wealth, athleticism, etc. Sticking up: Standing up or saying something to help someone. Sticking up for oneself or others may be direct (for example, saying something in the moment, such as We dont do that here) or indirect (for example, going to an adult or not writing something on Facebook). Target: A person who is the recipient of teasing, exclusion, physical abuse, threats, or theft, or who is the subject of rumors or lies. Upstander: A person who witnesses an injustice and speaks out against it or takes action to stop it. Witnessing: Having personal knowledge of something because you have seen it happen.
10 things I can say to stand up for whats right.

1. Language! 2. What do you really mean by that? 3. Saying stuff like that just makes people feel bad. 4. Whats up with that? Thats so not funny! 5. Youre such a good kid, but thats so not cool. 6. Why do you have to be so mean? 7. Thats called gossip. And I dont gossip (anymore). 8. And your point is? 9. Thats your opinion and that doesnt make it true. 10. We dont talk like that around here.
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The First Ten Days

Day Suggested Activities
Introduce the idea of a promise, using these questions: What is a promise? What does this statement mean to you: No matter what our looks, social status, or abilities, we pledge to honor each other? If possible, invite a student or two who has made the promise in another setting (e.g., peer leaders or student council members) into your classroom to talk about GAV. Designate a time of the day or a particular day each week that will provide students the opportunity to come on board. Have kids sign up to make the promise on that day. Hand students who have made their promise their Power Cards, bookmarks, and stickers. Day 2 Day 3 Review and discuss the Power Card with the class. Discuss: What does this statement mean to you: We get off the sidelines and use our voices to stand up for whats right? Discuss: Words have power. Saying just kidding does not erase the impact of your words and your actions. What does saying just kidding mean to you? Do you believe others when they say they are just kidding? Introduce Friendship Friday (see page 35). Come up with three appropriate comebacks that could be added to the Power Card, or come up with a classroom power card. Give each student a cutout of a person, or have one large cutout for the class. Ask them to write hurtful words on the cutout. Have the students crumple up the paper and then try to flatten it out. Discuss how, just as the creases remain in the paper, hurtful words stay with us. Ask the class: How can you stand up for what is right? What positive words can we use when we are put in a bad situation?
Day 1
Day 4 Day 5 Day 6
Day 7
Day 8
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Give each student an index card. Ask them to rate themselves from 13 (1=not mindful; 2=sometimes mindful; 3=always mindful) on how mindful they are of their vocabulary. Day 9 Have the students write one or two ways to either become more mindful or continue staying mindful. This rating is private. Have the students fold their cards and put their names on the blank side. Collect the cards and put them in an envelope. Next month, distribute the cards and have them rate themselves again. Did they improve? Continue doing this activity monthly. Friendship Friday (see page 35)!
Day 10

These situations and solutions are based on content contributed by middle school teachers. Names of individual students have been changed. The Situation: The bell rang, and the halls of the middle school became filled with students. I was walking to my class and saw a seventh-grade boy push another boy into a wall of lockers. I had been walking behind them before the incident occurred and noticed that they were playing around with each other. I knew that the push was not malicious, but at the same time, I could not let it go. The Solution This conversation took all of three minutes, but it was important to have. Me: (to the boy who was pushed) Are you okay? Boy 1: Yeah, Im fine. Were just joking around. Me: I realize you may be joking around, but no one has the right to lay a hand on another person. (to the boy was pushing) Why did you do what you did? Boy 2: (shrugs shoulders) Me: You know, that boy could have been seriously hurt. Its important to think before you act. I walked the boys to my classroom, wrote them a pass, and sent them off to their respective classes. Kids think teachers dont see these things. It was important that the boys accepted responsibility, and hopefully, they will not act like that again with each other or anyone else. The Situation: Kayla, one of my resource room students, came into my room crying. I gave her a big hug and asked her what happened. At lunch, someone had put an open milk container in her school bag. When she took out her binder in her next period class, the milk spilled all over her things and on the floor. The other kids giggled. The teacher redirected the class and got paper towels to clean up the mess. Kayla was embarrassed but stayed for the duration of the period. In the hallway, Kayla heard other students talking about the milk incident. She could not handle it and came running into my room. 82
The Solution The four other resource room students entered the classroom and were all concerned about Kayla. I said to the class, I understand that Kayla feels embarrassed, but we have all been in embarrassing situations. I proceeded to tell them an embarrassing story that happened to me. After hearing my story, each of the students told an embarrassing story. In the end, Kayla went from being inconsolable to laughing, and she realized how much she had overreacted. I thought it was great for all the students to share their stories with Kayla. We were able to make Kayla feel better and finish out the day. The Situation: Incorporating group work into a lesson is a great teaching modality. However, it opens the door for students to complain about their group, and often about one particular person in that group. The Solution Before I announce the group members names, I always preface it with, Remember, you are working together for _____ minutes. I am not asking you to be best friends. I am not asking you to find your soul mate. I am asking you to work together respectfully. This reminder that students are in class to learn helps them move forward and accept their partner or group members. The Situation: In conversations among kids, I often hear inappropriate language being used. Whether the students are cursing or calling each other hurtful names, they need to be aware of what they are saying. On the middle-school level, I think a lot of children use this type of vocabulary to be cool. I also think that they have become desensitized to the meaning of the words. The Solution In the hallways, if I hear someone cursing, I say, Please dont use that language, or Watch what you are saying. On most occasions, the student actually apologizes. Even though I am not having a full-on discussion, my reminder brings awareness to the student. In a classroom setting, if a student says, Thats so retarded, I will ask the student not to use that language. When class has ended, I call the student over and have a short conversation about what the word means. More often than not, kids feel bad once I say something to them and are quick to apologize. Im not punitive in my approach; Im just very matter-of-fact. The Situation: I walked past a table in the classroom and happened to overhear part of a conversation between two girls in the class. One girl had just said that Katie, another girl in their class, liked the new boy in school. I casually pulled her aside. Me: I heard what you said about Katie. Did she share that information with you? Student: No.
No other age level is of more importance to the future of individuals, and, literally, to that of society; because these are the years when youngsters crystallize their beliefs about themselves and firm up their self-concepts, their philosophies of life and their valuesthe things that are the ultimate determinants of their behaviors.
John H. Lounsbury, Understanding and Appreciating the Wonder Years
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Me: Where did you hear it? Student: I dont know. Some other girls were saying it. Me: So you dont even know if its true? Student: No, I guess not. Me: This is gossip and gossip is unacceptable. Consider how you would feel if Katie said that about you. Student: But I dont like him! Me: Thats not the point. Katie may not either, but even if she did, so what? Student: So nothing, I guess. Me: When you hear gossip, you have a responsibility to not pass it on. If you feel comfortable saying something to the person you heard it from, you can say its unacceptable. But even if you dont say anything, you can still keep the gossip to yourself and not let it go any further. Do you understand? Student: Yeah, okay. Me: Great. Thank you for being honest with me about this. I appreciate it, and Im sure that Katie would too.
I want to have courage to not give in to peer pressure and not go along with the crowd in badmouthing someone when I really dont want to. It may look like I have it all going for me, but deep down I long for something moreprotection and love.
Rebecca, age 13
Activities
Activity 1: ELA Middle School GAV in Fairy Tales26 Goal: To rewrite a fairy tale so the character gets a voice Background: We thought about what it means to get a voice when we were reading fairy tales. They always have an evil character and a good character in fairy tales, but you never see a good character get a voice! At our Learning Fair, we showed how famous fairy-tale characters are getting a voice against their bullies. We tasked students with creating four stanzas with specific content and then rewriting the story based on their stanzas. Students had fun finding a whole new way not only to be creative, but also to be empowered to change a story so that they can more positively identify with it. Example: Cinderella Stanza 1: Background information about the fairy tale (who, what, where, when, why, how) Once upon a time In a kingdom far away There lived a beautiful sweet maiden Named Cinderella. Stanza 2: Evidence that the character is being bullied Cinderella, wash my clothes right away. You can do a few last-minute chores for me. Scrub the floors and wash the windows, And if you dont finish, You will not be able to go to the ball. 84
Stanza 3: How the character feels about being bullied (using character trait words) A distraught Cinderella feels overwhelmed And saddened about how she is treated by her stepfamily. Her only friends, the mice, design a beautiful dress in which Cinderella can go to the ball. In a jealous rage, her stepsisters rip apart the beautiful ball gown. Stanza 4: How the main character gets a voice against the bully Please do not talk down to me and make me feel bad about myself. I am a person too, and I deserve to be treated with respect. I do thoughtful things for you all the time, and you treat me disrespectfully. You need to change your attitude and treat others the way you would like to be treated. Rewrite: Once upon a time in a kingdom far away, there lived a sweet and beautiful maiden named Cinderella. She lived with her mean stepmother and stepsisters. Every morning Cinderella would hear the screams from her ill-mannered family. Cinderella, wash my clothes right away, yelled Anastasia. Cinderella, make me a souffl for breakfast, shrieked Dreizella. You can do a few last-minute chores for me, before you get Mother her breakfast, screamed both stepsisters.
I saw this kid who was getting made fun of because he couldnt skateboard. I cant skateboard either and I wasnt made fun of. I told the kid, Leave him alone! Because not everybody is good at everything. He stopped.
Nicholas, age 12
Cinderella was getting frustrated and realized that she was not going to be able to go to the ball because of all the chores her sisters had assigned her to do. Dont forget to wash the windows, scolded Anastasia. And if you dont finish, you will not be able to go to the princes ball, laughed Dreizella. A distraught Cinderella felt overwhelmed and saddened about how she was being treated by her stepfamily. Her only friends, the mice, designed a beautiful dress in which she could go to the ball. Cinderella approached her stepmother wearing the beautifully created gown, showing her she was ready to go to the ball. Just then her stepsisters became filled with a jealous rage and tore apart the dress, leaving her in rags. I cant believe you tore apart my dress! Why would you do such a horrible thing to me? Please do not talk down to me and make me feel bad about myself, said Cinderella calmly. I am a person too, and I deserve to be treated with respect. I do thoughtful things for you all the time, and you treat me disrespectfully. You need to change your attitude and treat others the way you would like to be treated! announced Cinderella. From that day on, Cinderellas family was much nicer to Cinderella. They respected her feelings once she got a voice and stood up for herself. Activity 2: Student Action ResearchSurveys Goal: To survey perception or experiences of bullying and social cruelty Have students devise a brief questionnaire with which to interview students and a separate one
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for interviewing staff members. Incorporate time in math classes for data analysis. Prepare students to report findings (e.g., to the principal, to a few classes, or at an assembly). Have students write up their findings for the school newspaper. Use their findings to decide what issues need to be addressed. Activity 3: Student Action ResearchContent Analysis Goal: To analyze gender-related content in magazines for youth Have students review magazines intended for boys and for girls, then do a content analysis: What are the main categories, features, types of article, topics, or sections in each? After students have completed their analyses, discuss how girls and boys are often portrayed in magazines. Make a chart to compare the similarities and differences. Determine whether any patterns emerge. Activity 4: Public Service Announcement Goal: To write a public service announcement (PSA) for the morning announcements
At recess I saw someone getting bullied. They really looked sad, and they needed some help. I went over to the kid and asked if they were okay. I told the bully, Get real and cut it out! The kid actually stopped!
Kelly, age 13
Pinpoint a cause or topic that your class wants to advertise or about which the class wants to make a point. How will you best use your voice? More important, why do others in your school need to hear this PSA? How might you get those who are listening involved? Activity 5: GAV Tune27 We asked each advisory room to have their students come up with an anti-bullying song, jingle, or rap that was no longer than sixty seconds and included the tune to which it was sung. A box was placed in the main office for all entries. The theme tunes were presented over the loudspeaker over the following weeks. The winning advisory room received a bagel breakfast. Example: Get.A.Voice Rap (to the tune of The Brady Bunch Theme Song) Heres the story of a kid named Petey Who attends (name of ) School. He shoves kids into the lockers And thinks hes cool. Heres the story of Peteys victim, Who got picked on every day at school. He was so fed up with the nonsense That he felt not cool, Till one day when (school name) kids got together And they knew they all had to make a choice, That this group must somehow come together And get a voice, Get a voice, get a voice, Thats the way (school name) got a voice!
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Get.A.Voice Beyond the Classroom

The content in the section is relevant for implementing Get.A.Voice beyond the classroom, from grades 3 to 8. In selecting activities, consider your students capabilities.
Activities
Activity 1: Interview with an Adult Support Staff Member (Bus Driver, TA, Cafeteria Worker, Secretary, Custodian, etc.) Many adults other than teachers are integral to the school and in students lives. Yet students often do not get to know them as real people, and they in turn dont have opportunities to get to know the students. Goal: To help students rethink how they speak to, respond to, and act with adult support staff; to help the adults to feel more a part of the school 1. Brainstorm to come up with a list of adult support staff that students wish to interview and think of five questions they would like to ask that person. Guide them to ask questions that will elicit responses about the person. For example: What do you like most about your job? What is the hardest thing about your job? The easiest? Do you have a pet? If so, what kind? What is its name? What advice do you have for others who are seeking a job like yours? Do you have any hobbies or something you really like to do when youre not working? What is something about you that not many people know? Is there anything you would especially like us to know about you? 2. Decide on the procedure for interviewing: How will the students introduce themselves? Who will briefly describe the purpose of the project? Who will ask the questions? Who will write the responses? 3. Class planning may include the creation and delivery of a letter or flyer to each potential interviewee, requesting their involvement. Arrange time for interviews to take place. Create question sheets with students for use during the interview (see page 89). 4. Following the interview, students can create posters with information about their interviewee. The posters could include the persons name and photo and what the students learned about this person (e.g., hobbies, birthday, pets, favorite team).
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5. Follow-up questions: What did you learn about the adult you interviewed? What did you learn that surprised you about this person? How does knowing this adult better help you interact with him or her? Do you feel different about this person or the other support staff in your school? If so, in what way?
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Beyond the Classroom GAV Worksheet: Interview with Adult Support Staff Name: _________________________________________________ Date: __________________
Interview with Adult Support Staff

In an interview, one person (the interviewer) asks questions of another (the interviewee). The purpose is to get to know something about the interviewee. You are the interviewer. Decide on five questions you will ask the person you interview, and write them in the spaces below. With the persons permission, take a photo of your interviewee to be used in your bulletin board display.
Interviewee: _____________________________________________________________________
Question 1: _____________________________________________________________________ Answer: ________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Question 2: _____________________________________________________________________ Answer: ________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Question 3: _____________________________________________________________________ Answer: ________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Question 4: _____________________________________________________________________ Answer: ________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Question 5: _____________________________________________________________________ Answer: ________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________
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Activity 2: Bringing Get.A.Voice to the School Bus Bullying, teasing, and other forms of social cruelty are all too common on the school bus. Students and teachers can bring GAV to the bus in a number of ways. Here are two ideas: 1. Ask students to write about issues that take place on the bus. Hold a circle where students read these stories aloud, and then talk about them. The goal is to sensitize students, to help them share and discuss what they witness or experience on the bus. Create a discussion to help them answer: How do we get a voice on this bus? 2. Hold a breakfast at which students celebrate the bus with best behavior as determined by the number of referrals on the bus or based on other criteria. Acknowledge each bus driver as a VIP. Activity 3: Get.A.Voice Journal Topics Use these fourteen topics as the basis for journal entries. 1. I found my voice when 2. Every day I see this kid get bullied and do nothing about it. Tomorrow I vow to 3. Have you ever been put down or felt that you were not good enough? Write about that time in your life, and explain how you overcame it. If it is still a problem, what could you do? 4. If you found out that a rumor were being spread about you, how would you handle the situation appropriately? 5. After the Get.A.Voice presentation, you realized that you frequently use words like retarded and gay. What are you going to do to eliminate these words from your vocabulary? 6. Have you ever bullied someone? What did you learn from the experience? 7. Have you ever put someone down? What did you learn from the experience? 8. Its been a while since I made my GAV Promise. To reaffirm my promise, I can 9. I think Get.A.Voice is good for my school because 10. When I see someone being bullied or mistreated, I feel 11. Have Facebook, Twitter, or text messages ever been used to hurt you? If so, how did you deal with the situation? If not, what advice would you give to those people who were hurt that way? 12. If a new student asks to sit at your lunch table, would you say yes? Why or why not? 13. Write about a situation in the cafeteria where someone was mean or hurtful to someone else. How did you feel? Did you step in? Did you want to step in, but were too scared? Would you say something in the future? 14. On the bus, a student is making hurtful comments to another student. Would you say or do anything to protect the victim? Activity 4: Four Get.A.Voice One- to Two-Minute Role Plays28 Each of these role plays is intended to be done twice: first as it might have happened before GAV and then as it might have happened after GAV. The italicized responses are provided as examples that empower students to be upstanders together. 90
Scenario 1: For five people Two friends notice a person sitting alone at the class table in the lunchroom. Before GAV: Student 1: Sits alone Student 2: Wants to join Student 1 so that he (she) is not alone Student 3: Doesnt want to sit with someone he (she) doesnt know Student 4: Looks around but is quiet Student 5: Notices Student 1 sitting alone but doesnt say anything After GAV: Student 1: Sits alone Student 2: Wants to join Student 1 so that he (she) is not alone Student 3: Doesnt want to sit with someone he (she) doesnt know Student 4: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (Walks over to Student 2 and says something like, Want to sit with us?) Student 5: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (Agrees with Student 4: Yeah, we have room. Come sit with us!) Scenario 2: For seven people Three friends are standing together at their lockers when someone they dont like walks by. Two of them start to say mean things about that person, and the third feels uncomfortable. Three others are hanging around, observing the situation. Before GAV: Student 1: Walks by Student 2: Says mean things as Student 1 walks by Student 3: Agrees with Student 2 and adds to the negative comments Student 4: Feels really uncomfortable and asks them to stop Student 5: Chimes in with Student 2 and laughs Student 6 and 7: Watch and say nothing After GAV: Student 1: Walks by Student 2: Says mean things as Student 1 walks by Student 3: Agrees with Student 2 and adds to the negative comments Student 4: Feels really uncomfortable and asks them to stop Student 5: Chimes in with Student 2 and laughs Student 6: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (Nods to Student 7 and says to Student 2, Why do you have to be so mean?) Student 2: Responds that it is none of their business
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Student 7: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (So whats your point anyway? Its just plain mean to say that!) Student 4: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (Yeah, really!) Scenario 3: For six people Two friends are sitting on the bus. The person in the seat next to them is teasing the person in front of them. Before GAV: Student 1: Teases the other kid Student 2: Doesnt want to say anything for fear of the teasing being directed toward him (her) Student 3: (Friend of Student 2): Is very uncomfortable and wants to tell the bus driver Student 4: Is being teased Students 5 and 6: Are sitting in the seat in front of Student 4; laugh but dont really say much After GAV: Student 1: Teases the other kid Student 2: Doesnt want to say anything for fear of the teasing being directed toward him (her) Student 3: (Friend of Student 2): Is very uncomfortable and wants to tell the bus driver Student 4: Is being teased Student 5: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (Looks at Student 1: Yo! Language!) Student 6: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (Cmon! Thats our buddy. Knock it off!) Scenario 4: For six people A group of friends are getting together after school. One wants to invite another person who is new to the school; two dont want to include this person because he (she) is different in some way. Before GAV: Student 1: Doesnt care who joins the group Student 2: Wants to invite the new person Student 3: Would rather not have a new person join them, but will go along with it Student 4: Strongly objects to anyone else joining the group Students 5 and 6: Are bystanders After GAV: Student 1: Doesnt care who joins the group Student 2: Wants to invite the new person Student3: Would rather not have a new person join them, but will go along with it Student 4: Strongly objects to anyone else joining the group Student 5: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (This kid is cool!) Student 6: Upstander. What might this student say or do? (Yeah, we hang out together a lot.) 92
GAV in Sports
Youth sports offer the incredibly valuable opportunity to learn life skills that include hard work, discipline, goal setting, teamwork, communication, and perseverance, among others.29 On the field, whether children are in first grade or eighth grade, their social and emotional development is just as important as their athletic ability. Creating a clear foundation early on with your teams shared purpose is important to how the team will work together, communicate with each other appropriately, and achieve success. An example of a teams shared purpose is: To create an environment of respect, trust, hard work, and fun as a team. You may use this or create one of your own with your team. The issue: Parental involvement when children are young As a coach, you may often be confronted by parents advocating for their young child. Managing these interactions should be predicated on a meeting at the beginning of the teams season, in which an agreed-upon set of policies and your coaching philosophy are clearly established. This way, any challenges within the season can be dealt with by referring back to the original agreement.
GAV at a Glance
When coaching youth athletes, keep in mind these three guidelines: 1. Be mindful of your language and tone. 2. Be clear about what is and isnt appropriate. 3. Say it with respect, not sarcasm. Paul Grafer, goalkeeper coach for the U.S. U-17 mens national soccer team, 20082012
The situation: A child is clearly one of the more talented players on the team. During games, the coach must rotate this player out in order to give all the players opportunities to participate. The childs parent confronts the coach after the game to express displeasure with the substitution patterns and questions the coachs understanding of which players are most important for the team to win. Suggested response: First, we established before the season a policy that I, as the coach, would not be accessible to parents directly after a game. We decided that a cooling-off period would be the best course of action, and that all concerns should be communicated through the team manager. Second, we also agreed that at this stage of development, participation for all players is a priority, so that each child has a chance to develop. Winning is not the primary objective for our team at this level. So we must substitute for your child from time to time in order to remain consistent with our objectives, even if your individual goals of having your child play the entire game and for the team to win are not met. The issue: Disrespect Youth athletes must understand the importance of respect for the game and all the people associated with it. Coaches, teammates, referees, administrators, parents, and fans are only a few of the people around the youth sport environment at any given time. Focusing on doing ones best within the context of the sport and the team are the individual youth athletes goals. Respecting all the other contributors must be part of the sportsmanship instilled in them to make sure they do not lose their focus or treat others in inappropriate ways. Coaches should model the correct behavior. The situation: A referee makes a controversial call during a game. One of the players on your team screams at the referee, Open your eyes! Are you blind?
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Suggested response: Even if the coach agrees that the referee made a mistake, and even if this mistake was crucial in determining the outcome of the game, the coach must address the inappropriate commuWe need schools to get a voice nication. The coach can say: We have often talked about focusing on your and your language in the school and on teammates game, not the opponent, the referee, or anyone else surrounding the field of play. The referees are the field. Why? Because it is bound to make mistakes and may have even made one largely where our young people here. But what you yelled was unacceptable. If you feel learn how to treat one another. the overwhelming need to address the referees call, you Don McPherson, Keynote can do so in a mature and respectful way, asking for more Speaker, Get.A.Voice Language of information as to why a decision was made. Under no cirLeadership Conference, 2007 cumstances are you to attack or abuse the referee. This does not help you or the team, or result in changed calls ever. And it only indicates that you are distracted and a poor sport. The issue: Degrading language Players call out remarks to one another in ways that are often not appropriate. Though its not always easy to do so, when you, as a coach, hear something like this, its important to respond to it with integrity. Assess whether the response should be to this student individually or in front of the team. The Situation: A kid shouted something degrading across the field to another kid who totally missed the ball. Suggested response to the individual student: Listen, you wouldnt want someone to say that to you. Why would you use that type of language about your teammate? Thats really not appropriate. Suggested response to the whole team: We agreed on how we talk to each other on this team. Thats not appropriate language. Thats not how we work together. I dont want to hear that type of communication between teammates again because thats not how we support each other. Now, lets play.
about the use of misuse of
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Appendix A GAV Common Vocabulary

This chart provides an overview of vocabulary terms that are defined in each grade-level section. Term Bullying Bystander Communication Compassion Compliment Conflict Contempt Flower words Get.A.Voice buddy Gossip Help Helpful words Hurtful words Impact Inclusive Intent Mindful Personal power Prejudice Promise Self-esteem Social cruelty Social status Standing up Stereotype Sticking up Target Upstander Weed words Witnessing K2 (See pages 5051) 35 (See pages 6668) 68 (See pages 7980)
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This vocabulary is intended for educators and other adult members of the school community. It is a supplement to the terms defined in the grade-level sections. Bias: A prejudice or preconceived opinion about something or someone. Bias implies an unfavorable judgment.30 Bullying: Repeated actions, words, or gesturesphysical, verbal or writtenor any other behaviors by a student or group of students against another student with the intent to ridicule, harm, hurt, intimidate, humiliate, or harass. Bullying can be overt (such as such as fighting, hitting, or name calling), or it can be covert (such as gossiping, spreading rumors, or leaving someone out on purpose). Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that an act is defined as bullying when: The actions, words, or gestures hurt or harm another person physically or emotionally. It is intentional, meaning the act is done willfully, knowingly and with deliberation. Bullying can be circumstantial or chronic. It might be the result of a situation, such as being the new student at school, or it might be behavior that has been directed at an individual for a long period of time. Catalyst: Someone or something that starts something. In GAV, catalysts are positive events (e.g., a planned assembly with an inspirational speaker) or negative events (e.g., a hate crime) that can inspire people to make positive change. Classroom or school management: The logistics, routines, and procedures educators use to help students behave and learn successfully, including the creation of a safe, efficient physical and social setting. Climate: Climate (as it relates to school and other work settings) refers to morale and is informed by how the members of the faculty, staff, administration, and other adults feel about and interact with each other.31 Although it is affected by students, it is largely a function of the relationship between and among the adult members of the school or classroom community. Contagion: When an idea or practice spreads from one person to another. Contagion is often cited as part of a tipping point for change.32 Core values: The principles that group members follow in fulfilling their roles, so the group and the individual succeed. Examples include but are not limited to respect, honesty, responsibility, diversity, caring, interdependence, and optimism. Culture: The learned and shared behavior of a community: how people talk to each other, how they celebrate each other, and what they value. Culture of collective courage: The practice in which the one voice that sparks two more voices can dramatically shift the culture together to make change happen. Harassment: The Office for Civil Rights (OCR) and the Department of Justice (DOJ) indicate that bullying may also be considered harassment when it is based on a students race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or religion. Harassing behaviors may include unwelcome verbal abuse, such as name calling, epithets, or slurs; graphic or written statements; threats; physical assault; and other conduct that may be physically threatening, harmful, or emotionally humiliating.33 96
Shared purpose: A goal or reason that is agreed upon, such as a plain-language version of a mission statement. For example, the shared purpose of public school can be stated as follows: To help all students learn well, stay safe, graduate and participate in a rewarding civic and private life.34 Social-emotional learning (SEL): The processes human beings require to learn the skills we all need to handle ourselves, our relationships and our work, effectively and ethically. 35 Voice: The words, tone, and other techniques people use to express themselves.
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Appendix B Bullying: Facts and Statistics

Targets are not the only people negatively affected by bullying. The effects extend to bullies and bystanders as well.36 Kids who are bullied are often truant or depressed and at risk of health complications and self-injury. In very small numbers, these children may injure others through violent retaliation.37 Kids who bully are more likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs; sexually act out; have criminal convictions; have difficulty maintaining positive long-term friendships; suffer health problems; and abuse their parents, siblings, partners, and ultimately their own children.38 Kids who are bystanders are at increased risk of suffering depression, truancy, anxiety, and substance abuse.39 According to research reported in the Canadian Journal of School Psychology, every seven minutes a child is bullied on the playground, with adults intervening just 4% of the time, peers intervening 11% of the time, and no one intervening 85% of the time.40 This includes bullying of students with and without disabilities. The same source further notes that as many as 160,000 students stay home every day because they are being bullied. One-fifth of students admit to doing some bullying or being a bully. 58% report that they did not tell parents or any other caring adults that they have been bullied online. A 2009 survey reports that in-school experiences of harassment and assault were related to poorer psychological well-being. Higher levels of victimization were also related to lower levels of self-esteem.41 In a study, researchers observed classroom intervention in only 1518% of the bullying episodes, while teachers perceived themselves as intervening often.42 Kids who are obese, gay, or have disabilities are up to 63% more likely to be bullied than other children.43 Cyberbullying One million children were harassed, threatened, or subjected to other forms of cyberbullying on Facebook during the past year.44 Cyberbullying begins as early as second or third grade (depending on the age when cellphones, virtual worlds, and Internet use begin); it peaks in fourth grade and again in seventh and eighth grade.45 85% of middle school students polled reported being cyberbullied at least once.46 Cyberbullies spend more time online than other teens overall (38.4 hours compared to 26.8 hours).47 68% of teens agree that cyberbullying is a serious problem for todays youth.48 GLBT GAV educators have found the following data revealing, regarding ethnicity, language of origin, weight, faith and other characteristics that students may feel are socially acceptable reasons to 98
bully. According to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN):49 88.9% of students heard gay used in a negative way (e.g., Thats so gay) frequently or often at school, and 86.5% reported that they felt distressed to some degree by this. 72.4% heard other homophobic remarks (e.g., dyke or faggot) frequently or often at school. 84.6% were verbally harassed (e.g., called names or threatened) at school because of their sexual orientation and 63.7% because of their gender expression. 33.8% of the students who did report an incident said that school staff did nothing in response. These and numerous other data support what many educators see every day: Our students need to learn how to use words to connect with respect, so they can attend school consistently, learn well, participate in school, and graduate ready for success in college, career, and civic life. The capacity to work well with widely diverse groups, regardless of biases, prejudices, or feelings is an essential workforce, college, and community competency.
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Notes
1. Eder, D. with Evans, C. & Parker, S. (1995). School talk: Gender and adolescent culture. Piscataway, NJ: Rutgers University Press. 2. Mandel, L. & Pierce Lee, C. (2002). Bullying behavior in Long Island schools. Long Island Education Review, 17-26; Rigby, K. (2000). Effects of peer victimization in schools and perceived social support on adolescent well-being. Journal of Adolescence, 23, 57-68. 3. Mandel, L., & Shakeshaft, C. (2000). Heterosexism in middle schools. In N. Lesko (Ed.) Masculinities at school (75103). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications. 4. Miller, s. j. (2012). Mythology of the norm: Disrupting the culture of bullying in schools.English Journal,101(6), 107-109. 5. Klein, J. (2012). School shootings and the crisis of bullying in Americas schools. New York, NY: New York University Press. 6. Rivers, I. (July 20, 2012). Homophobia hasnt gone away. Times Educational Supplement (Tespro) No.43, pp. 8-9. 7. Coloroso, B. (2003). The bully, the bullied, and the bystander. New York, NY: HarperCollins. 8. Rivers, I. (May 11, 2012). Empower pupils to beat bullies. Times Educational Supplement (TESpro). pp. 8-9. 9. Samantha Power created and first used the term upstander in her award-winning book about the 1994 genocide in Rwanda, A Problem from Hell: America and the Age of Genocide (New York, NY: HarperCollins). She used this term to describe people who choose to protect or defend others, either by taking individual action or by acting with others, directly or indirectly. GAV uses this same basic definition, emphasizing that it is the opposite of being a bystander. Bystanders witness bullying and other cruelty and do not take any direct or indirect action to interrupt it, stop it, or correct it, or otherwise help the target. 10. For an explanation of collective courage, see page 11. 11. Mandel, L., & Webber, D. (2008). Totally tolerant: Spotting and stopping prejudice. New York, NY: Scholastic, Inc. 12. Common Core State Standards Initiative. Accessed February 21, 2012. http://www.corestandards.org/the-standards 13. See more at www.casel.org. 14. Baranoski, R. (2011) An axiological analysis of shared purpose and academic excellence. Ed.D. Dissertations. http://digitalcommons.olivet.edu/edd_diss/18 15. Used with the express permission of Roberta Richin, who created this statement as part of the Connecting Character to Conduct International project. 1990; 2006; 2011. 16. Used with the express permission of Paul Grafer, professional soccer coach. 17. Mandel, L., & Webber, D. (2008). Totally tolerant: Spotting and stopping prejudice. New York, NY: Scholastic, Inc. 18. Just Kidding, Just Stop is a trademark of the Get.A.Voice Project, ActionWorks, Inc. 19. http://mbaoath.org Welcome to the MBA Oath. Accessed 4/30/2012. 20. Delivered by Laurie Mandel, Ed.D., at Nassakeag Elementary School in January 2007. 21. Friendship Friday was created by Laurie Mandel, Ed.D. for the Get.A.Voice Project. 22. Bosch, K. (2006) Planning classroom management. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press.
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23. Used with express permission of Roberta Richin, who created this rubric. 24. Ferrance, E. (2000). Action Research Themes in Education Brown University www.lab.brown.edu/pubs/ themes_ed/act_research.pdf. 25. Personal interview with Debbi Rakowsky, CSW, school social worker, Murphy Junior High School, Three Village CSD, NY. May 4, 2012. 26. From the Island Trees Middle School Reading Department, Levittown, NY. 27. From Christine Bergamino and Stacy Stanley, Island Trees Middle School, Levittown, NY. 28. Role plays were submitted by Kathleen Flynn-Bisson, a health educator, actor, adjunct professor, and founder of Stories of Substance (www.storiesofsubstance.com). 29. Interview with Paul Grafer, May 20, 2012. 30. Mandel, L., & Webber, D. (2008). Totally tolerant: Spotting and stopping prejudice. New York, NY: Scholastic, Inc. 31. Gruenert, S. (March/April 2008) School culture/school climate: They are not the same thing. NAESP. 32. Gladwell, M. (2000) The tipping point: How little things can make a big difference. New York, NY: Little, Brown. 33. Adapted from several definitions including http://www.pacer.org/bullying/nbpm/ 34. Used with the express permission of Roberta Richin, who created this statement as part of the Connecting Character to Conduct International project. 35. See casel.org 36. http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/effects/index.html Accessed April 12, 2012. 37. http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/effects/index.html 38. http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/effects/index.html 39. http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/effects/index.html 40. Craig, W. & Pepler, D. J. (1997). Observations of bullying and victimization in the schoolyard. Canadian Journal of School Psychology, 13, 41-60. 41. GLSEN: The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (2009) The 2009 national school climate survey. Please note: GLSEN conducts this report on a biennial basis. 42. Craig, W. M., Pepler, D. J., & Atlas, R. (2000). Observations of bullying on the playground and in the classroom. International Journal of School Psychology, 21, 22-36. 43. National Youth Violence Prevention Center. 44. http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine-archive/2011/june/electronics-computers/state-of-the-net/ facebook-concerns/index.htm 45. http://www.aftab.com/index.php?page=cyberbullying-statistics 46. http://www.aftab.com/index.php?page=cyberbullying-statistics 47. Teen Online & Wireless Safety Survey: Cyberbullying, Sexting and Parental Controls. Cox Communications Teen Online and Wireless Safety Survey in Partnership with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 2009. 48. http://www.internetsafety101.org/cyberbullyingstatistics.htm 49. GLSEN: The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (2009) The 2009 national school climate survey.
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Educators Guide
Get.A.Voice helps youth become more conscious of and take responsibility for their thoughts, their words, and ultimately, their actions. With extensive input from teachers, administrators, counselors, support staff, students, and parents across seventeen schools in New York State, Get.A.Voice evolved into a language-based approach to: decrease name calling and bullying increase feelings of safety, value, respect, and connectedness among students and adults achieve these goals in ways that save time for educators The program inspires and empowers students to fulfill their roles as upstanders and to be a leader, make a difference, and get a voice in their schools and communities. This guide, which is a core component of the program, provides ready-to-use, teacher-tested, easy-to adopt practices and routines. It includes sample lessons, worksheets, counseling tips, and suggested language for students, educators, and coaches.

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Educators Guide

Laurie Mandel, Ed.D.

Kindergarten - 8th Grade

A Character Education Program

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

About the Get.A.Voice Project

Why Should Our School Use Get.A.Voice?

1. Get.A.Voice is language based.

2. Get.A.Voice sets a standard for connecting by respecting.

3. Get.A.Voice is user friendly.

4. Get.A.Voice creates a wave effect.

5. Get.A.Voice focuses on empowerment.

1. Words are powerful.

2. Language shapes culture.

3. Empowering students through collective courage is key.

4. Learning and caring are intentional outcomes of a conscious school culture.

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Get.A.Voice and the Common Core State Standards

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

An Overview of Get.A.Voices Elements

Element 1: Shared purpose

Element 2: Common vocabulary

With the right words, you can change the world.

Element 4: Power of a promise

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Implementing Get.A.Voice Schoolwide or Districtwide

1. Convene your school team.

2. Select your Get.A.Voice coordinator.

3. Set your goals.

4. Create your implementation plan.

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

GAV Worksheet: Implementing GAV Schoolwide or Districtwide

Get.A.Voice Implementation Plan

WHEN AND WHERE?

GAV Worksheet: Implementing GAV Schoolwide or Districtwide

Get.A.Voice Implementation Plan

Launching the Get.A.Voice Project

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Bulletin Board Headings

Voices of Respect Thermometer

How Do We Get.A.Voice? Ask These Kids!

Snapshots from Schools

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Sample Letter to Parent/Guardian to Introduce Get.A.Voice

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Individually Making the Promise: Faculty and Staff

Sample Script for Kickoff Assembly

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Kickoff Assembly Follow-Up

Implementing Get.A.Voice in the Classroom

What Are We Feeling? Respected Comfortable (not anxious) Cared about

Included Important Valued Connected Treated fairly

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Get.A.Voice Kindness Challenges

Five-Day Kindness Challenge Tally

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

GAV Worksheet: GAV Kindness Challenges

Name: _______________________________________ Dates: ___________________________

GAV Five-Day Kindness Challenge

GAV Worksheet: GAV Kindness Challenges

GAV Five-Day Kindness Challenge

Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Name: _____________ Dates: _

GAV Worksheet: Action Research Activiy Name: _____________________________ Date(s):

Name: _______________________ Date: _

Name: _______________________ Date:

Name: _______________________ Date:

Name: _______________________ Date:

Name: ___________________ Teacher: _ Grade: Date:__