Repeat run...

by request

The Way it Was

Saturday Morning
A handful of us boys shiver by the Males Pool in Manchesters Gorton Baths, wartime thin and pale as fear. Its 1944 and Im 10 years old. The winter wind rips off the Pennines, roars along Hyde Road like a bomb blast, then streams through the swing doors of the pool as an icy draught. I hate it here. This little group are all about the same age. Were in the same class at school, 4b, the slow stream. We take the 11+ in June. No chance. The older lads are in the deep end, larking about. Some of them will be in the army next year, fighting the Germans. Scallys with them. Hes the wiry one with scars on his back. Hes done borstal for robbing and GBH. He got the birch in there. Thats what the scars are. So now hes a kind of hero. Its as if he was in the war and got wounded. He says he owns the deep end. You can only swim in there if gives permission. Im scared of Scally. He puts the wind up everyone. Sken-eye, the bald-headed perv, was already in the plunge when we came in this morning, kneeling in the shallow end with just his head above water, like that seal we saw on the school trip to Rhyl. Judder, our woodwork teacher, says there are seals all round the coast, watching the beaches. The Germans put cameras in their heads and use them as spies. Judder should know. He had his brains blown out in the last war. He keeps hitting us on the head with lumps of wood and saying, Sheep are the stupidest animals in the world except for boys boys are twice as stupid. Smiggy, the red haired lad with no cozzie on, is already in trouble cos he jumped off the balcony and depth charged Sken-eye. Tommy, the caretaker, is after him now. Tommys the little thin guy with the mop of brown hair, the one in the blue overall, white jacket and gum boots. He spends his life circling the plunge with a scoop in one hand and a brush in the other, swilling and brushing, swilling and brushing. He should be fighting the Germans but he got away with it cos hes not all there. That towel he slings over his shoulder is wet through. If you do anything wrong he drops the brush and flicks the towel at you. In a single move, at 4 paces, he can put a wheal on your body the size of a ten-bob note.

Smiggys got no cozzie cos his dads a prisoner with the Germans so his mam cant afford one. The cold waters shrunk his cock so it looks like a jelly baby at the bottom of his belly. Sken-eyes always looking at him. You dont think he is, cos of his squint. You think hes looking at you, but hes really looking at Smiggy cos hes got nothing on. Thats why Smiggy depth charges him... It was January-dark when I came downstairs this morning. Grans house is lit by gas, and the mantles dont give much light. Maggie was already there, kneeling in the hearth, holding her knickers in front of the fire, cos shed pissed the bed again. Shes grown up really, thin with ginger hair, pale skin and freckles. I get butterflies when I look at her. Gran makes fun of her cos shes 17 and still pees the bed. Maggie says, The cold does it. But Gran says its cos shes scared to go outside to the toilet in the dark and too much of a lady to squat over a jerry. Im hacking a chunk of bread off the loaf when Gran goes past with a jerry full of her own pee. She keeps the jerry under the bed. Theres a turd in it this morning. Shes gone through the lean-to kitchen and into the yard where the toilet is. She agrees with Maggie really. Its too dark and scary to go out there at night; freezing cold as well. Grans got terrible scars all over both arms. She told me she had tattoos cut out. But auntie Kath told Maggie it was boiling fat from the chip-pan that did it. Uncle Dan went to throw it over Aunt Amy but Gran dived in and wrestled with him so she got the lot. I stick a fork in the bread, then go and kneel beside Maggie and shove it against the bars of the grate. I can smell warm pee off her knickers. Gran, she shouts, when Gran comes back in. Stop him. He keeps looking at my knickers. No I dont! I shout. Im making toast. Its my breakfast. But I blush cos I do keep looking. I cant help it. He does! He keeps looking! Look! His toasts on fire. Thwack! Gran cuffs me across the back of the head. Leave her alone! Look what youre doing! I am looking. I like it black. Its not fair. I go into the backyard and feed scraps to the hens. The yards tiny really, surrounded by a high wall with just enough room for the toilet, dustbin and homemade coop. The coops got a rusty mesh front and piece of old plywood for a door. The hens are really happy here. We let

them run round the flagstones all day and they lay eggs as presents. Theyre like cousins to Maggie and me. We let them in the kitchen but Gran chases them out. They all come clamouring when I come with scraps. Captain Marryat always pushes to the front. Shes my favourite and she knows it. Gran got the hens as day old chicks. Captain Marryat was the runt and Gran gave up on her because she thought shed die. But I saved her. I kept her in a shoebox in the hearth by the fire and fed her spoonfuls of water and crumbs and things. Now shes the biggest and strongest. She pushes to the front when I come out because she remembers what I did. When I call her name she always comes scurrying. I call her Captain Marryat cos hes my favourite author. Im going to be a sailor when I leave school. Ill grow a beard and get weather-beaten and all the girls will fancy me. This is cleaning day. Maggies in her flowery overall-coat with bare legs and feet. The overall just hangs on her... but you know that, underneath, shes this special shape. She seems to be swaying and flowing all over when she walks. Its like shes dancing but she isnt On Saturday night, when she goes to the dance at the Alhambra where the Yanks are, she puts pale goldie-brown paint on her legs to pretend shes got stockings on. I love to watch her painting her legs. She knows I do and gives little smiles to herself. I pretend not to be watching and she pretends not to know Im watching. Its like an exciting game as she pulls up her skirt to paint above her knees. Now Ive got butterflies again. On Saturdays she ties a scarf round her head like a turban then scatters last weeks wet tealeaves over the stone floor. We keep the tealeaves in a box on the slopstone. They look like dollops of mud to me but Gran says they soak up the dust. I ask Gran if I can go to the baths. She says; Yes. Theres threpence on the sideboard. Gerrout o my sight. I walk to the baths because I cant afford the bus fare. None of us can. Its about two miles. I meet Smiggy and Sid on the way. Sids the dark lad with shifty eyes. His dads in Burma, fighting the Japs. You cant trust Sid. Ive got to watch both these two lads cos they bully me; beat me up and pinch stuff out of my gasmask box, like my lunch and marbles and bits of shrapnel I keep as souvenirs after the air raids; depends what mood theyre in. Todays a good day so its all right. They dont know Ive joined the LNER boxing gym and started training. The best bit Ive learnt, is that punches dont hurt till the next day. Joe, the coach, said I could make a middleweight champ when I grow up. I just need a bit of polishing thats all. So the next time Sid and Smiggy try it on Ill tear into them... Here in the baths, us kids are sitting in the tubs with our teeth chattering. I spend most of every Saturday morning sitting in the tubs cos the plunge is too cold. Theres no coal to heat the water. The

ships need it to go to America to bring back food and ammo to keep us going against the Germans. Ill be on one of those ships one day with a brown face, tattoos, and rings in my ears. The tubs are like a narrow trench with tiles along the bottom and sides. Theres a trickle of warm water about half an inch deep, running along the bottom. Youre supposed to come in here and wash yourself before you go in the plunge. Its the only warm water and bath us kids ever see. We sit in a long line, one behind the other, knees drawn up, hugging our legs and shivering. Its the best moment of the week. But every now and again Tommy goes into his office and turns the control to cold so we are suddenly sitting in freezing water. Then he comes out flicking his wet towel at us and driving us into the plunge like those panicking redskins you see in cowboy films. Worse than that is when Sken-eye comes in. You never see him coming. He just appears. The first you know is when one of the lads gives a yell and goes haring past towards the plunge, followed by another and another. Then suddenly you feel his hands on your shoulders and these skinny white thighs appear on either side of you, and you know its your turn. Then youre up and screaming, racing to leap into the freezing water. Then, for a moment, the icy plunge, full of shaking blue kids, seems to be the safest place in the world; until Sken-eyes head pops up right next to you On the way to the baths, in Gorton Lane, Smiggy and Sid stop to throw stones at a cat thats sitting on the roof of a communal streetair-raid-shelter. I dont join in cos I cant throw straight. The stones never go where I aim. I had a practice session in a back alley a couple of weeks ago. I see this cat sitting on Mrs Coxies backyard wall so I throw a stone at it. But I miss and it smashes her kitchen window, a sudden crash and shattering glass. So I leg it out of there like I do when Sken-eye puts his hand on my shoulder. I thought Id got away with it. But Long Lily Holmes was looking through her bedroom window. The stupid cow split on me and told the other women it was me. The next day they were all shouting at me in the street and saying I should be in borstal because Mrs Coxies son, Billy, was killed at Dunkirk, and her other son, Jimmy, is missing at the front and she still wears black. Thats not my fault. The Germans did that. I liked Billy and Jimmy. When they were home on leave and I was small, Billy and Jimmy used to pick me up and throw me to each other like I was a ball. But worst of all, when I said I didnt break the window, the women didnt believe me. Thats not fair. They believed Long Lily and shes mad. Shes about seven feet tall, with this little round head, white face, and basin-cut hair; thin as a lamp-post with a long black skirt that goes down to her feet. They believe her but they dont believe me. Florrie Ogdens mam says I should get the birch. Thats

not fair either. Anyway, Florries mam has her hair cut short like a man. Thats weird that is. I think shes got nits. But its always the same. No one ever believes me when I say I didnt do things. Its not fair. It wasnt their cat anyway. Eileen Hodge is in the baths today. She was going into the girls pool with a rolled up towel when I was coming in here. Eileen makes me feel funny too, like Maggie does. Shes not as old as Maggie though. And she doesnt sway like a flower in the wind when she walks. But she has this bright face, smooth and shiny like an angels. A lot of girls have angels faces. I wonder if any of those in the pool next door have no cozzies on like Smiggy? Theres a connecting door between the two baths but its always locked and the keyholes blocked. I try looking through it every week but I never see anything. Tommy caught me one week and flicked me with the towel. It hurt for days. The mark was still there two weeks later. Theres a scary thing about girls though. My cousin Jake told me about it. When they get to Maggies age they get hairs on the belly and give you diseases if you have-it-off with them. Its hard to believe that Maggies full of disease. But she is. They all are. Jake said you get covered in boils then go blind and mad and die. I dont know why girls do that. But Jake says thats why the Yanks wear wallah-bags when they take them up back alleys to give them nylons and a good seeingto. I know Jakes right cos Ive seen loads of wallah-bags in the back alleys. Jake found one in my Grans back entry one day and took it to school. He was passing it round in the maths lesson when Ratty Ritchie, the teacher, saw him and flung a wooden board-duster at him. It gave Jake a massive lump in the middle of his forehead that went all yellow and purple. Auntie Fanny, Jakes mam, kept asking how he got it and he kept saying one of the senior lads threw a stone at him. He darent tell her that Ratty did it cos he took a wallah-bag to school... or else shed kill him kill Jake not Ratty. Mind you, Ratty should be killed. Hes as mad as a cornered canal-rat. Thats why we call him Ratty. They blew his brains out in the last war too. All our teachers are old cos everyone young is in this war. All our men-teachers went mad in the last war and take it out on us. And the women are witches with tartan legs and a stink of piss. They all hate me men and women. I dont know why... All the kids are crowding on the side of the plunge now, looking across the water, gawping and sniggering. Whats up? I shout, running to join them. Sken-eye look at im, says Smiggy.

I look over the water at Sken-eyes cabin. Its just like all the other cabins, with a half-door at the bottom and a green canvas curtain that you can pull across the top. When youre changing you close the door and leave the curtain open, so you can see outside but other people cant see your whatsit. Sken-eye does it different. He draws the curtain and leaves the door open so that you just see the bottom part of his body. Hes got an ard on, says Sid. I can see that but whys it bent? I want to know. Cos hes had it off with a woman, says Silver, one of the big lads whos just swum down from the deep end to have a look, and is now in the plunge at our feet. Silvers only got one real leg. The other ones a wooden peg. Thats why we call him Silver cos he has a peg leg. He lost one of his legs in the bombing. He takes his peg off to come in the water but hes still the best swimmer in the baths. I wish I had a peg leg. Id go to sea as a cook and have tattoos and a parrot on my shoulder. And I wouldnt have to play football. I hate football cos I cant kick. The ball never goes where I want it to. Then all my team shout at me and punch me. It happens every time. The teacher says Ill always be rubbish cos I dont kick with my instep. I dont know what hes on about. I dont have insteps only feet and boots. Do girls bend your cock? I ask Silver. I can feel another problem coming on. They tie it in knots, he says. The world suddenly feels empty. Jake said the two most beautiful people I know, Maggie and Eileen, get hairs on their bellies, give you boils, and send you blind. Now Silver tells me that, if I have-it-off with them, theyll tie my cock in a knot. I feel scared and excited at the same time. But Ill still do it if they ask me to. Im glad Sken-eyes going home. He makes me jumpy. Hes always grabbing kids by the arm and asking them to go back to his house for dinner. He says hell give you a bag of chips and half-a-crown if you go home with him. It sounds dead good really, chips and half-a-crown. He asks me sometimes but I never know who hes talking to, cos of his squint. I always think hes talking to someone else. Then he suddenly thumps me in the chest and tells Tommy Im bloody stupid. Then Tommy throws a scoop of freezing water over me to wake me up. Its not fair. Its not my fault hes cockeyed.

For ages now, the big lads have been telling us not to go anywhere with Sken-eye. Scally says hell beat us up if he sees us going outside with him. It all started on that day when Smiggy was shouting across to me in the plunge. Smiggy yells, Hey! Sken-eyes asked me to go for dinner at is ouse. And I shouts, Why? And Smiggy shouts, I dunno. But he says hell give me a bag o chips and alf-a-crown if I go ome with im. And I shouts, Wow. Thats worth a fortune that is. Scally and Silver are swimming past at the time, on their way from the deep end to the tubs. But they hear us shouting and stop. You dont go anywhere with him, says Scally, rubbing chlorine from his eyes. Why? I ask, cringing in case he lashes out. He doesnt like cheek. Cos hes queer, says Silver, hopping on his real leg and steadying himself with his arms in the water. What do you mean queer? says Smiggy, whos just swum across to us. He shoves his cock up your arse till your eyes pop out, says Scally, grabbing Smiggy by the hair and forcing his head backwards in the pool until just his mouth and nostrils are above water. Eh?! How do you know? I gasp, throwing caution to the wind. Judder told us, says Silver, still hopping and steadying himself. He went home with him a couple of weeks back. Did he get chips and alf-a-crown? says Smiggy, bouncing up as Scally lets go. Yeah, says Scally, cuffing him across the head. Hmmm, says Smiggy, with that expression he has when hes wondering what to pinch out of my gasmask box Were all stood on the far side of the pool, still looking at Sken-eyes cabin when Sid says, Hey, Scallys goin ome. And when I look towards the swing-doors, theres Scally standing by the edge of the baths, fully dressed, squeezing his cozzie into the plunge.

Hes going with Sken-eye, says Silver, still in the water at our feet. But he says, Dont do that... cos youll get a sore arse, says Sid. Is it for chips and alf-a-crown? says Smiggy. Hell get a lot more than that, says Silver, grinning up at us, hes going to beat Sken-eye up and rob his house. Hell go back in borstal, says Sid. And get the birch, I tell them. He wont, says Silver, nodding towards Sken-eye, whos walking along the other side of baths like a Lowry matchstick man in a flashers raincoat. Sken-eye darent split. Why not? says Sid. The policell have him, says Silver, cos of what he does to lads Turning into Grans street I see Maggie sitting on the upstairs windowsill, cleaning the glass with her back to the street and the sash window pulled onto her thighs. Her whole bodys moving like music and shes got this shape that makes me stop and stare. It looks dangerous to me, hanging out of the window. If she loses her balance shell crash to the ground and be killed. Other women, in overalls and turbans, are kneeling on the pavements sand-stoning their steps and flagstones. They do it every Saturday. They make the pavements a clean yellowbrown colour. I love it. Its like sunshine coming out of the ground in a world thats covered in soot from the factories and houses. Maggies already done Grans front; shes always the fastest and first. Gran says Maggies like her mother, Sar-ran Cummins. Sar-ran was a lovely girl but she had three babies, George, Edwin and Maggie, cos she couldnt say no. I dont get it. Nos dead easy. You just go, nnnnoh. And its there no. Maggie can say no. Its her favourite word when I ask her to do things. Sar-rans first baby was George, so they put him in Style Home till he was fourteen then sent him to sea as a cabin boy. Im going to be like him when I grow up. Hes in the Royal Navy now, on warships. But he got torpedoed and swallowed oil while he was swimming in the sea. So hes on sick leave now. Edwin was the second baby. Then, after Maggie was born, Sar-ran died of TB. Gran says, Half of Manchester has TB and go round spitting blood. I spit blood sometimes after the

kids beat me up and pinch stuff out of my box. But thats not TB. Anyway, when Sar-ran died, Gran was left looking after Edwin and Maggie. But Edwin died when he was fourteen. I dont know why he died. Gran says, He was a lovely boy but tuppence short of the full shilling. Maggies boyfriend, Frank, is in the navy too. Hes a gunner on a warship. In that letter that came at Christmas, he said he was the one who sank the Scharnhorst. But Gran says that cant be true cos hes still in hospital after that camel spat on him when he got drunk in Egypt. Gran hates him cos he beats Maggie up when hes home on leave. But Maggie says she loves him and only goes with the Yanks to get the nylons. Going through the front door into Grans lobby, I wonder if Charlie Cummins is home yet. Hes her grandson like me. But hes older cos his granddad was Grans first husband, Dave Cummins, who died of TB. After that, Gran married my granddad, but then she killed him. She told me about that, one day when there was no one around and she was feeling sad. She said that, when the last war started, he goes down to volunteer for the army. So while hes out she kneels down and asks God to stop him joining-up cos she cant live without him. Suddenly the sky fills with black clouds and it goes as dark as night and starts lashing rain. Then, during the night, granddad comes downstairs to go for a pee. As he goes into the yard, God throws down a lightning bolt that hits him and kills him stone dead. Then God gives Sar-ran three babies she doesnt want. Then he kills her and makes Gran struggle and weep. Gran says Gods punished her for being selfish. Ive never prayed to God since I heard that. Hes just like all the rest. As I enter the kigtchen, Grans huddled over the slopstone tugging at something. Theres an axe lying on the stone at her elbow... and something else... I rubberneck to see what it is. Yuck its a hens head I move in for a closer look. Shes plucking a bird For a moment it doesnt make sense then... No! No! I yell. You cant...! Not Captain Marryat! Im too stunned too sick to cry. Please! Not Captain Marryat! Shes my best friend! My only friend! It is! Its Captain Marriott! Youve killed her. I hate you You stinkin old COW! Be quiet! shouts Gran, you little mardarse. Charlies home. Hes a Desert Rat; bin away three year; since before Tobruk; chasing Rommel through the desert and Italy. Hes off to the front agen soon;

Germany this time; to kill Hitler. So run to the shop for two pounds of potatoes. Theres money on the table. No! No! I wont! Im really crying now. I wont do anythin anymore! Youve killed my friend! Youve killed Captain Marryat. I hate you! I hate you all! I hope the Germans come and kill the fuckin lot of you! www.poet-on-a-hill.blogspot.co.uk