Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Meet Johnny
I grov up in a smaII cily in a vory consorvalivo onviron-
monl. Guys voro oxpoclod lo lavo maIo frionds, vliIo
girIs ladlloir girIfrionds. GirIs inmy famiIy andoxlondod
famiIy vouId nol ovon daro lo voar sIoovoIoss cIolling.
IoopIo vouId gol marriod basod on llo cloicos of lloir
paronls. Tloy caIIod oacl ollor girIfriond or boyfriond af-
lor lloy lad boon on a fov dalos and lad boon laIking for
lours on llo plono. Kissing vas a prolly big doaI. Aclu-
aIIy, laving sox vas nol al aII common. Lvon loday somo
of my sclooI frionds lavo nol yol lad sox vill lloir Iong-
limo girIfriond or boyfriond.
Im a vory avorago guy in Iooks, 8 laII and aboul 1o
pounds loavy. Ivo gol aboul 1; porconl body fal. I vouId
say llal I am fairIy skinny. Hovovor, vlal I lavo aIvays
lad going for mysoIf vas llal I vas, and lopofuIIy sliII
am, liglIy inloIIigonl. I aIso lavo roasonabIy good com-
municalion skiIIs. Hovovor, I am an inlrovorl and llus
profor lo bo in my ovn vorId.
I didnl lavo many inloraclions vill llo opposilo sox in
my youll. Tlo rsl limo I spoko lo a girI on llo plono
vas in 8ll grado, and I lad my rsl ofciaI dalo vlon I
vas in 11ll grado. NonolloIoss, lloro voro aIvays girIs
vlo Iikod mo a Iol. In 11ll and 1zll grado, in vlalovor
vay vo vouId dono girlfriend I novor kissod lor, vo
onIy ovor loId lands. my girIfriond vas, al llal limo,
Understanding Your
Local Environment
Tloro is anollor vory imporlanl poinl vlicl IIAs faiI lo
monlion and ils yol anollor oxampIo of lov IIAs II
your load vill crap llal al bosl lurns you inlo a sociaI
robol. SoriousIy, you cannol soduco any voman, and you
cannol bang any voman on llo rsl dalo oillor. Iol mo
insload slross vlal I found lo bo lruo: Mooling vomon is
loaviIy dopondonl on your IocaI onvironmonl.
I lavo roaIizod llis vory oxpIicilIy bocauso I lavo lravoIod
a Iol and lavo Iivod in many difforonl counlrios. In somo
onvironmonls you can approacl a girI on llo slrool and
Ialor loxl lor lo mool you for a drink. Slo viII como vill
you, and you can fuck lor llo samo nigll. Bul in moro
consorvalivo onvironmonls you lavo lo mool lor llrougl
a friond or vory casuaIIy, loxl lor a bil, laIk on llo plono,
and llon go for a Iov koy dalo. Aflorvards, you maybo
mool for drinks and llon maybe lavo sox. Tlis vloIo lling
migll pIay oul ovor sovoraI vooks.
IIAs mado mo boIiovo llal any girI can bo soducod on llo
rsl dalo and llal if slo rofusos, slo is probabIy pIaying
gamos vill you. Novor didlloy monlion llal girIs may bo
oxlromoIy conscious or Iack condonco. Iickup maloriaIs
mado mo boIiovo llal if I donl acl supor aIpla or Iiko
Rejection Doesnt
Matter
Iols nov laIk aboul llo rojoclion doosnl mallor alli-
ludo, vlicl is llo vory fucking basis of llo onliro IIA
communily. I vanl lo discuss llis alliludo and lov il po-
lonliaIIy Ioads lo oxlromoIy anli-sociaI bolavior. III aIso
covor in somo dolaiI vly il is IiloraIIy llo coro roason vly
IIA is Iiko a cuIl, vly llis induslry is sucl a scam and
vly llis vonl clango.
Iols say somo avorago guy discovors llo IIA induslry.
Ho lasnl boon vory succossfuI vill vomon in lis Iifo.
Ono big roason for llis is llal lo IikoIy caros vay loo mucl
aboul vlal ollors llink of lim. So lo is loId llal rojoclion
doosnl mallor. So far so good. Ho goos oul, lrios oul somo
slupid Iinos, loclniquos and vlal nol, and gols rojoclod
a buncl of limos. Ho llinks llal somolling isnl rigll.
Bul llon lis coacl loIIs lim, Dudo, rojoclion doosnl mal-
lor! You aro improving. Ils Iiko laking baby slops, and
youro laking ono slop aflor anollor. Wlon you camo lo
mo, you couIdnl approacl, bul nov you can. }usl koop
going, man! IroslIy inspirod, lo koops going, bul ils llo
samo slory: lo gols rojoclod again and again.
Horo is vloro il slarls lo gol slady. Tlo poinl is, consis-
lonlIy boing rojoclod is a sign llal somolling isnl vork-
Hypersocial Women
I lavo aImosl compIoloIy sloppod roading IIA vobsilos.
Hovovor, any limo I do road somolling I gol onragod al
llo buIIslil poopIo vrilo, vlicl soriousIy makos mo quos-
lion vlollor vo Iivo on llo samo pIanol.
6
Iols laIk aboul llo IIA boIiof llal allraclivo vomon
aro aIvays going oul, and aIvays mooling ollor guys. If
you pIan your dalos, you lloroforo bollor pick a Monday
or Tuosday nigll bocauso ovory ollor day of llo vook lor
sociaI caIondar is so bIoody packod. You bollor do somo-
lling supor-inlorosling so llal slo is compoIIod lo say yos,
and sond oul cIovor dalo invilos Iiko up for a gamo of
pooI vill NYC voirdos and soccor moms, a Iino from
Rob }udgo, bocauso if you donl mako yoursoIf sound ro-
aIIy inlorosling llon, voII, slos jusl going lo mool aII lloso
ollor fabuIous guys vlo viII fuck lor insload.
I donl knov in vlicl vorId lloso IIA coaclos Iivo in,
bul in my vorId, going oul a Iol and boing sociaI roquiros
limo, onorgy and, mosl imporlanlIy, money. Hovovor, if
a girI las llo monoy lo go oul a Iol, llis vouId normaIIy
moan llal slo las a doconl job bul llis aulomalicaIIy
moans llal slo vonl lavo aII llo limo in vorId. Tlo onIy
aclivily I can imagino llal may nol roquiro monoy is if a
6
Sinns bIog posl GirIs as Oplions Tradors is rosponsibIo for llis
claplor.
girI goos cIubbing vloro slo can moocl off somo cIub pro-
molor. Tlals il.
;
Iols pul llo fanlasios of IIAs asido for a momonl. My
ovn oxporionco loIIs mo llal mosl vomon compIain a Iol
aboul lovlloy novor mool a doconl guy, andlavonl gono
on a sorious dalo for quilo a vliIo. Ol, and normaIIy ils
boon a Iong limo sinco lloyvo gollon Iaid, loo. Im suro
a Iol of guys lavo oxporioncod llal vlon lloy slarl lav-
ing sox vill a novgirI, il oflon sooms Iiko slo jusl canl gol
onougl of il. AII of llis is a big roason vly girIs, onco lloy
gol inlo a roIalionslip, jusl donl vanl lo Iol go bocauso
nding anollor doconl guy lakos sucl a Iol of offorl. Tlo
porconlago of girIs vlo aro conslanlIy going oul, sociaI-
izing aII llo limo, and lopping from dalo lo dalo is vory
smaII indood. Id bo surprisod if il vas moro llan a fov
porconl.
Nov Iols laIk aboul my ovn sociaI caIondar. Ivo gol a
slrossfuI job, vlicl moans llal ImusuaIIy a bil lirod aflor
vork during llo vook and donl roaIIy lavo a Iol of on-
orgy Iofl. My lobbios lako somo limo and I lavo normaI
frionds I Iiko lo mool as voII. So, voII, I donl oxaclIy lavo
a Iol of limo on vookdays. AIso, ImcorlainIy nol going lo
scloduIo ovorylling in my Iifo around mooling vomon.
Spoaking of scloduIing dalos, I can onIy adviso you lo
scloduIo llom vlonovor llo fuck you aro froo. If you aro
onIy froo during llo vookonds, ask lor oul on llo vook-
ond. If slos nol froo, assuming slo Iikos you, llo lvo of
you viII bo abIo lo guro oul a limo llal vorks for boll
of you. If slo Iivos far avay from you, llon of courso you
vonl scloduIo llo dalo noxl lo your pIaco. Tlis is nol so
;
Hovovor, ovon if a girI is so voII connoclod llal slo can go cIub-
bing for froo, slo vouId normaIIy sliII lavo lo spond a Iol of monoy
on sloos, drossos, and makoup. Any oxcoplions you couId llink of
vouId bo loo romolo lo llo vorId of IIAs, Iiko ricl loirossos vlo jol-
sol around llo vorId. A. S.
6
llal you mako il oasy for lor lo say yos il sounds loo
mucl Iiko, Ol, pIoaso Iord, I lopo slo says yos! No, ils
simpIy bocauso you vanl somolling llal vorks for boll
of you! Tlals al Ioasl vlal normaI luman boings do.
Daling onIy vorks if both of you want it. Hovovor, llis
is a concopl vlicl, for vlalovor roason, IIAs jusl donl
soomlo undorsland. If slo Iikos you, slo viII vanl lo mool
up and go oul on a dalo vill you. Tlis moans llal sloII
vork vill you, and nol againsl you. You aro nol vork-
ing againsl llo girI nor aro you lrying lo snoakiIy gol lor
lo say yos, and you corlainIy vonl ovor pul your dick in
lor pussy villoul lor roaIizing il. So jusl slop lrying lo
bo ol-so cIovor and pul so mucl prossuro on yoursoIf.
On aII llo dalos I lavo boon on, llo girIs voro vory forll-
coming and lrying lo nd a pIaco llal vas convonionl for
mo as voII as lor. Tlis is llo bolavior of normaI poopIo.
Bul if you road IIA arlicIos, you may llink llal if youvo
founda girI vlo acls Iiko llal, youvo foundsomoono spo-
ciaI. I can assuro you llal llis is nol llo caso. NormaI poo-
pIo aro llo norm, and crazy voirdos llo oxcoplion.
Tloro is ono Iasl lling I vanl lo monlion. Iook al llo
arlicIo I roforoncod. Ils a vory lypicaI oxampIo of lov
IIAs svoop qq porconl of vlal roaIIy mallors undor
llo rug and focus on llo romaining 1. In llis arlicIo,
Sinn loIIs you lo ignoro casos vloro you omolionaIIy con-
noclod vill llo girI, or vloro slo is nov in lovn and
doosnl knovmany poopIo, or vloro youmol lor llrougl
frionds, or vloro slo is singIo andaclivoIy Iooking lo dalo.
So, basicaIIy, Sinnis giving youadvico onvlal lo do aboul
vomon vlo you did nol omolionaIIy connocl vill. Iur-
llor, slo is nol supposod lo bo nov lo lovn. Slo knovs a
Iol of poopIo, and you did nol mool lor llrougl frionds.
Il jusl gols bollor and bollor, bocauso llo kind of girI Sinn
loIIs you lo focus on is not single and not actively looking to
date oillor. III Ioavo il up lo you lo guro oul ovorylling
;
llals vrong vill llal posilion.
8
Fake Anti-PUA PUAs
Tloro is a plonomonon Im nolicing lloso days: A Iol of
IIAs aro calcling on lo llo fako anli-IIA lrain. Iol mo
oxpIain vlal I moan by llal. Iirsl, lloy viII a lavo fov
cuslomary posls on lov IIA sluff doosnl vork. Ialor
on, lloy loII you llal Iooks aro nol noarIy as unimporlanl
as ollor IIAs cIaimand llal ils roaIIy a numbors gamo
in llo ond Bul sliII, dudo, gamo vorks! AII of vlal
RSD, Iovo Sysloms and ollors loacl is crap. Bul, dudo,
loro, lako my advico! Il vorks!
Boforo I vrilo anylling furllor, I vouId Iiko poopIo lo road
a parlicuIar commonl vrillon on llo bIog The Black Pill. I
amnol saying vlollor llo vobsilo is good or nol, bul jusl
llal llis commonl is roaIIy nico. Il slovs lov ovon guys
vlo cIaim lo bo somovlal lonosl aro sliII crap.
8
8
Tlo foIIoving commonl las boon roproducod from Tlo BIack IiII
and sIigllIy odilod for roadabiIily. A usor namod Kovin vrilos:
Roosl is invoIunlariIy lonosl. Ho doos nol sol oul lo bo
lonosl. Infacl, lo oxpIicilIy cIaims llal gamo is roaI anda
major parl of lis succoss. Bul if you lavo any brain and
road bolvoon llo Iinos, lo prolly mucl admils slraigll
oul llal gamo doos nol vork and llal ils aII aboul num-
bors. Ho admils llis again and again and again, bul lis
roadors donl soom lo drav llo obvious concIusion. Ils
surroaI.
Lillor Roosl is incrodibIy cIovor al markoling or a com-
pIolo idiol vlo slumbIod onlo an imporlanl facl aboul
q
Iols Iook al somo oxampIos of IIAs vlo aro on llo fako
anli-IIA lrain. Iirsl up, Sinn. Ho las a fov posls on lov
lo lalos SlyIo, lovlo lalos llo ollor IIAs giving crappy
advico and so on and so forll. Bul llon lo comos up vill
a posl caIIod Iivo Typos of CoId Roads. Iiko, roaIIy,
dudo`! And you aro saying llal ollor IIAs aro crap`
lis audionco. Wlon lo makos lloso candid posls
aboul lov gamo doos nol vork, lo is lrying lo boosl
lis crodibiIily and mako limsoIf roIalo lo llo slruggIos
and faiIuros of lis roadorslip. Tlo lling is, anyono vill
a brain soon roaIizos llal Roosl is providing slrong and
ropoalod ovidonco llal gamo doos nol vork, and any-
ono vlo las llo kindof porsonaIily lo roIigiousIy boIiovo
in gamo acluaIIy doos roIalo lo Roosl and compIoloIy
faiIs lo connocl llo dols and soo llal Roosl is pracli-
caIIy scroaming al lim, again and again, llal gamo doos
nol vork. Nov, llo crilicaI llinking guys vlo vouId
dravllo obvious concIusions fromRoosls posls vouId
lavo Iofl gamo soonor or Ialor anyvays, andllo roIigious
lypos aro compIoloIy irralionaI anyvays, so lloy com-
pIoloIy ignoro vlal Roosl is acluaIIy saying and jusl ro-
Ialo lo lis faiIuros on an omolionaI IovoI. Il is oillor a
briIIianl slralogy or a compIoloIy accidonlaI laclic llal is
a goodoxampIo of an idiol succooding dospilo lis incrod-
ibIo idiocy, lock, bocauso of lis idiocy.
InloroslingIy, I usod lo foIIov Roosl, and lis ropoalod
soIf-admillod faiIuros vill gamo and vomon vas ono
imporlanl faclor in golling mo lo quoslion gamo: Roosl
vrolo llis book aboul lis lravoIs in Soull Amorica,
vlicl I road, in vlicl lo ropoalodIy dolaiIs lis faiIuros
vill vomon. Ils quilo cIoar llal lo lad praclicaIIy no
succoss vill gamo in Soull Amorica and givos llis Iov-
ingIy doscribod oxampIo of llis IlaIian guy vlo lo says
did ovorylling absoIuloIy conlrary lo gamo and yol vas
lugoIy succossfuI vill llo vomon, lo llo poinl vloro
somo vomon voro llroving llomsoIvos al lim. Roosl
llon says llal llis guy vas jusl a bizarro oulIior bul gamo
sliII vorks! Again, oillor lo is an irralionaI vacko, or lo
las a ondisl grasp of llo irralionaIily of lis audionco
and lloir appolilo for cognilivo dissonanco.
6o
Noxl, Rob }udgo. Ho cIaims ropoalodIy on lis vobsilo llal
IIA is doad and vly IIA advico is crap. Yol, lo comos
up vill a producl in vlicl lo soIIs a spociaI syslom
for golling vomon. Ho caIIs il I. L. R. A. vlicl slands for
focus, omolion, rapporl and arousaI. Tlis sounds suspi-
ciousIy simiIar lo Myslory Mollod, doosnl il` Ho givos
advico Iiko you slouId you uso Slalomonl RouIollo,
slop and spin and vlalnol. Ho aIso soIIs producls mon-
lioning ; Slops lo gol Womon, Socrols lo golling IHM
Covor lol ModoIs Bonding Ovor Backvard for you and
so on and so forll.
Anollor random vobsilo vlicl I camo across vas caIIod
Why I hate being a PUA. Imagino a guy vriling an arlicIo
Iiko llis and soIIing or afIialo markoling a producl al llo
bollom vill llo lag Iino, Ask lor lloso quoslions sci-
onlisls uso lo gol Iaid And youII gol lor, ovory limo!
CIick loro lo discovor a simpIo lrick, so youcansoo insido
any vomans mind and knov oxaclIy vlal slo is llink-
ing aboul you.. InslanlIy and absoIuloIy froo. IunniIy
onougl, aflor I caIIod lim oul on my bIog, lo romovod
llal parl.
I can givo Iols and Iols of sucl oxampIos. Tako D} Iuji. Ho
is probabIy al llo forofronl of llo soomingIy-Iogil-IIA-
bul-acluaIIy-nol movomonl. Ho says you slouId vork on
your fundamonlaIs bul llon says llal vlon los coacl-
ing you, lo viII givo you a cuslomizod roulino slack lo
aulomalo your vorbaIs. Ho says you slouId lavo roa-
sonabIo slandards, bul on lis vobsilo youII nd: Hov
a lubby asian puIIs modoIs, slrippors and bIazing sox
goddossos fromllo lollosl cIubs andcan loacl youlovlo
do llo samo in llroo slorl days. Ho vas aIso lrying lo do-
fond limsoIf, unsuccossfuIIy, on llo lopic of IIA in somo
onIino convorsalion and said llal lo viII domonslralo llo
lardosl sol of llo nigll. Words canl doscribo lovmucl
is vrong vill ovon sponding a momonl of your focus on
61
sucl a lling. Ho said vlon lo mools lon cIionls, four of
llom lalo lim bul six Iiko lim and lo focusos on lloso.
To concIudo, pIoaso slay as far avay from IIAs as pos-
sibIo. Lvon if somoono sooms somovlal Iogil and cIaims
llal ollor IIA sluff doosnl vork, or lo doosnl roaIIy
llink of limsoIf as a IIA Zan Iorrion comos lo mind
and, yos, los jusl as bad as ollors if nol mucl vorso ,
lo is sliII aImosl corlainIy a lolaI scam.
6z
If you are Skeptical of
Anti-PUAs
Tloro lavo boon a coupIo of inslancos roconlIy vloro I gol
inlo a dobalo of pro-IIA vorsus anli-IIA poopIo. Tlis
jusl mado mo vanl lo vrilo aboul my ovn oxporioncos
and lovI, loo, vas pro-IIAal llo boginning, lovI grov
sIovIy skoplicaI and lov I ovonluaIIy droppod anylling
roIalod lo gamo.
You broadIy knov my slory and vlal oxporioncos Iod mo
lo vloro I sland loday vill my viov on IIA. Rigll nov
I vanl lo laIk aboul a sIigllIy difforonl aspocl. Tlis is pri-
mariIy aimod al poopIo vlo aro lonoslIy lrying lo guro
llis slil oul for llomsoIvos. Maybo lloy roaIizo lloros
somolling vrong vill IIA, bul llink llal poopIo Iiko
Aaron SIoazy or llo vobsilo Soduclionmyll.com aro loo
oxlromo in lloir viovs, and llal lloro sliII is somo vaIid-
ily of al Ioasl somo of llo sluff IIAs loacl. I can aIroady
assuro you lloro is nono, bul I jusl vanl lo laIk aboul llis
for a bil.
I novor soriousIy bollorod vill roulinos, oIiciling lor vaI-
uos, or any of llo ollor llings IIAs poddIo. Hovovor,
vlonovor I lavo usod somolling, il jusl novor vorkod. I
gol Iols of plono numbors rigll from my rsl day of coId
approacling. Yol, I novor gol anyvloro vill llom. Iron-
6
icaIIy, I vonl llo farllosl vill clicks vlon I compIoloIy
droppod gamo aIlogollor. I vas jusl laIking normaIIy lo
girIs vlo slovod a Iol of inlorosl slraigll avay. Rigll
from llo boginning, lloy conlribulod loaviIy lo llo inlor-
aclion llomsoIvos, sucl as silling vill mo and ignoring
lloir frionds for a vliIo and llo Iiko.
Wlon I rsl camo across poopIo Iiko Aaron SIoazy or Sixly
I llougll lloy voro loo oxlromo. SIoazy basicaIIy says in
Debunking the Seduction Community, Work oul and dross
voII. Bo a normaI sociaI guy vill frionds and lobbios.
Iick an onvironmonl in vlicl you fooI comforlabIo, and
donl fuck il up vill girIs vlo Iiko you! Sixly loIIs you
lo approacl Iols of girIs, Iook for a girI vlo doosnl rojocl
you, and oscaIalo fasl and loavy. Tlals aII.
Tlo IIA communily says llal lloso guys lavo inlornaI-
izod aII llo ollor skiIIs, so for llom aII llis is irroIovanl.
q
Yol, for a guy vlo is slarling oul, aII llo sluff lloy loacl
is imporlanl. Aflor laving a Iol of llo oxporioncos I laIkod
aboul oarIior in llis bIog, I roaIizod llal lloro is quilo a bil
of moril lo vlal SIoazy vas saying, bul I sliII llougll lo
vas loo oxlromo.
I llougll lloro vas vaIuo in sluff Iiko doing roIo pIays, cro-
aling llo us vibo, Ioarning lov lo loII good slorios vill
omolionaI ligls and Iovs, making slalomonls and novor
asking quoslions, focusing on soIf-improvomonl, vorking
on your innor gamo, boing supor pIayfuI and nol golling
aII sorious, nol landing oul loo many compIimonls, sond-
ing pIayfuI loxl mossagos, boing a non-roaclivo aIpla-
q
Wlon I rsl loard slalomonls Iiko llis, I couId nolling bul Iaugl
bocauso I novor ombracod any of llo concopls of llo communily. Tlo
roason vas llal I knov guys vlo voro succossfuI vill vomon, and
vlal lloy did lad nolling al aII in common vill Myslory Mollod,
Ross }offrios, or any of llo innor gamo sluff various companios loacl.
Ils llus moro llan a lad ironic vlon I road llal I lavo inlornaIizod
somolling I lavo aIvays boon compIoloIy lurnod off by. A. S.
6
maIo and llo Iiko. I llougll maybo aII llis vas obvious
lo a guy Iiko SIoazy, bul cIoarIy I am nol llal good.
Tlon I lad ollor oxporioncos. In lrying lo bo cIovor aboul
vlal lo say, loasing girIs, boing non-roaclivo lo silualions,
focusing on soIf-improvomonl I Iosl a fov frionds bo-
causo lloy llougll I vas acling voird. Tloro voro a fov
inslancos vloro I did ovorylling opposilo of convonlionaI
communily visdom and girIs Iovod mo. You can road
moro aboul llis in llo claplor You Donl Nood lo do Too
Mucl. AIso, I llougll backlo my liglsclooI days vloro
I vas llis young and innoconl guy vlo compIimonlod
vomon gonuinoIy Iiko crazy anddida Iol of so-caIIodAIC
bola sluff. NonolloIoss, a Iol of gorgoous girIs soomod lo
bo inloroslod in mo. In comparison, mosl of llo IIA sluff
novor foIl naluraI al aII. So I docidod lo drop a Iol of llis
and slarlod doing vlalovor llo fuck I vanlod. I vas aI-
mosl inslanlIy lappior and foIl a Iol moro poacofuI as a
rosuIl.
By llis limo a Iol of llis sluff mado mo llink llal abso-
IuloIy nono of llo advico IIAs givo is vorll il. Ono -
naI lling and llis ono lil mo a Iol vas vlon I sav
a coupIo of famous IIAs laIking aboul lloir curronl lol
girI. Hovovor, vlon I mol lloso girIs, lloy lurnod oul
lo bo vory pIain and avorago al bosl. I musl lavo lurnod
dovn dozons of girIs of llal caIibor. Tlis ono mado mo
roaIIy soo llo scam llal IIA roaIIy is. Al llis poinl, I vas
Iiko, SIoazy is aImosl 1oo corrocl llal lloro is IiloraIIy
nolling aboul gamo vlicl is usofuI. InloroslingIy, vlon
I road Debunking again roconlIy, I found mysoIf agrooing
1oo vill ovorylling lo vrolo, vlon oarIior I llougll,
Yoal, I agroo, bul llal SIoazy guy is loo oxlromo.
To concIudo, if you llink a Iol of anli-IIAs aro angry and
billor or llal lloyro missing llo poinl vlon lloy rocom-
mond oscorls insload of counlIoss coId approaclos for ricl
guys, llal lloy aro probabIy nol succossfuI vill girIs, or
6
llal lloy lavo inlornaIizod a Iol of skiIIs or anylling oIso
pIoaso llink again. A Iol of us roaIIy jusl soo llis vloIo
lling for vlal il roaIIy is, namoIy a compIolo clarado. If
you donl yol agroo vill llo anli-IIA posilion, llon ro-
ocl on your ovn oxporioncos. LvonluaIIy you viII roaIizo
llal lloy aro rigll. Ils okay if you donl do il rigll nov. I
knov I vas doublfuI al llo boginning, loo.
If you aro fuIIy immorsod in IIA advico rigll nov and
llink ils llo soIulion lo llo probIoms in your Iovo Iifo al
llo vory Ioasl jusl drop in and road posls and commonls al
AaronSIoazy.com and SoduclionMyll.com. AIso romom-
bor llal lloso guys aro nol soIIing anylling. You can ar-
guo loro llal Aaron SIoazy makos monoy from llis as lo
soIIs books and plono coacling, bul givon llo smarl guy
SIoazy is, if lo vanlod lo mako Iols of monoy from il, lo
is doing a piss-poor job of markoling il. So for your ovn
sako, clock oul lloso vobsilos ovory onco in a vliIo. Road
vlal poopIo lavo lo say on lloro. Maybo ovon lry vlal
lloy aro proposing. Try lo bo a bil objoclivo aboul your
oxporioncos. SIovIy, you viII como lo llo oxacl samo con-
cIusions as mo.
66
Lessons
6;
Standards and
Personal Goals
I usod lo loar froma Iol of guys llal llo girIs lloy aro vill
aro vory boring, or lov lloy lavo lo kick oul a crazy girI
llo noxl morning. Tloy loII mo llal mosl girIs aro supor
crazy. Many canl loId a convorsalion, and lardIy ovor
do lloy mool girIs vlo aro girIfriond maloriaI. Hov-
ovor, llis compIoloIy conlradicls my oxporioncos. Tlo fov
girIs I lad gollon voro aII avosomo in many vays. Tloy
lad good Iooks, camo fromrospoclabIo famiIios, and lad a
voII-dovoIopod porsonaIily. So I couId nol roIalo lo lloso
guys.
Tlon I slarlod nolicing llo girIs a Iol of guys vlo aro vory
good vill vomon gol. A common pallorn vas llal lloso
guys did nol caro mucl aboul llo porsonaIily or convor-
salionaI abiIily of lloir girIs, or ovon vlollor lloy lad a
prolly faco. To llom, llo mosl imporlanl lling soomod lo
bo llal lloir body vas good onougl. On llo ollor land, I
vas unconsciousIy onIy laking any inlorosl in girIs vlo
voro vory good in ovory vay. Tlis is of courso mucl
lardor. ConsoquonlIy youII lavo a groalIy Iovorod suc-
coss ralio llan if youd lako basicaIIy any girI llal isnl
oboso.
I usod lo assumo llal llo girIs vlicl a Iol of lloso guys
6q
fuckod voro aII avosomo in ovory vay, jusl Iiko my fov
girIs voro. Of courso, lloros absoIuloIy nolling vrong
vill banging girIs vloso allonlion span is loo slorl lo di-
gosl llo loadIino of a novspapor. Yol, llo poinl is: lavo
cIoar slandards for your girIs, and mako suro lloy aro a-
Iignod vill your goaIs.
If you aro jusl Iooking for randomsox, jusl donl bollor so
mucl vill vlollor slo las a culo faco or nol, or vlollor
slo can loId a good convorsalion for zo minulos. Im nol
saying llal you slouId lry lo fuck anylling vill a loIo
in il, bul I lavo nolicod llal a Iol of inoxporioncod guys
Iiko mo confuso llo goaI of laving random sox vill llo
goaI of golling a ligl-quaIily girI for a roIalionslip. Tloy
llink lloy slouId lavo Iols of random sox vill a lon of
ligl-caIibor girIs. Bul il jusl doosnl vork llal vay.
If you jusl caro aboul laving a Iol of sox, jusl Iook for girIs
vlo lurn you on. Tlals il. Sinco I slarlod foIIoving llis
maxim, I nolicod llal Ivo boon abIo lo puII off somo roaIIy
crazy slil. Tlis is bocauso you inloronlIy donl caro aboul
lloso girIs, vlicl makos you slamoIossIy go aflor your
dosiros! Aflor aII, ils nol as if you viov llom as girIfriond
maloriaI lo bogin vill. InloroslingIy onougl, llis makos
lloso girIs ovon moro allraclodlo you. Lvon if youlappon
lo Ioso somo girIs in llo procoss, you donl roaIIy caro.
Onco I aImosl puIIod off a llroosomo. In llo ond llougl,
llo girIs said llis vas loo mucl for llom, so I lad sox
vill llom individuaIIy. I llink I vas abIo lo go aflor il
so slamoIossIy bocauso I did nol caro mucl for lloso girIs
boyond sox. Tlis is a poinl vlicl I fooI mosl IIAs aro
unabIo lo accopl. WouId lloy admil lo llomsoIvos llal aII
lloy aro doing is jusl laving a Iovor bar vlon fucking
random girIs, llon llis moanl llal aII llo limo lloy sponl
lrying lo Ioarn gamo vas compIoloIy vaslod.
Tlo ip sido of llis is llal you donl lavo lo caro vlon
;o
somo IIAdudo monlions a crazy numbor of sox parlnors.
AImosl corlainIy, lloso girIs voro nol supor-ligl quaIily.
Golling supor ligl quaIily vomon from coId approacl
on a roguIar basis is impossibIo. I lavo soon somo vlilo
dudos in NYC vlo fuck a Iol of Asian girIs. Bul vlon I
loId llomllal mosl Asian girIs accopl a mucl Iovor quaI-
ily vlilo dudo ovor an Asian dudo for casuaI sox, lloy
undorslandabIy gol vory dofonsivo sinco llis moanl llal
lloir succoss didnl lavo llal mucl lo do vill llom-
soIvos or lloir aIIogodIy amazing gamo.
Or Iook al somo guy Iiko }offy from RoaI SociaI Dynam-
ics. Ho las puIIod off somo crazy slil and lo is knovn lo
fuck a Iol of fallios. I lavo no probIoms vill guys fucking
vlomovor lloy vanl, bul for anyono roading aboul sucl
sluff jusl lako ovorylling vill a grain of saIl! SoriousIy,
if somoono vonl around loIIing avorago guys llal lloy
onIy gol lo fuck roasonabIy avorago girIs vlo vouIdnl
ovon say no, llon nobody vouId praiso lloir gamo. In-
sload, lloy vouId aII say, Yoal dudo, no biggio lloro, I
knov. Bul roaIIy, llals aII il is.
;1
;z
Realistic Goals
Iols laIk aboul laving roaIislic goaIs. Tlis is aIso a lolaI
doparluro from vlal IIAs loacl, namoIy llal no mallor
vlo you aro, you can bang a lon of lol clicks. I fooI llo
vory fov Iogil virgin-lo-pussy loavon kind of slorios llal
do oxisl in llo IIA communily acluaIIy lurl you moro
llan loIp you for lvo roasons. Iirsl, llo slory ilsoIf is an
oulcomo of a vory slrong soIoclion bias and, socond, lloy
donl laIk aboul roIalod circumslancos. Somo lad aII llo
limo in llo vorId and vonl oul somolling Iiko vo lours
a day for sovon days a vook. Ollors voro viIIing lo bang
anylling llal movod, and somo Iuckod oul and managod
lo gol inlo a sociaI circIo llal mado il oasy lo gol Iaid. Tlink
of cIub promolors or barlondors! Yol, by nol addrossing
lloso imporlanl issuos, lloso slorios givo you faIso lopo
and Ioad lo a dislorlod porcoplion of roaIily. Il onIy sols
you up for a fanlasy vlicl viII mosl IikoIy nol ovor bo
fuIIIod, and llis moans il may lurl you a Iol.
Anollor lorribIo poinl is llal lloso guys llon normaIIy
crodil lloir novIy acquirod mad skiIIz for lloir rosuIls,
andnol llo facl llal maybo oarIior lloy voro jusl nol going
oul onougl, nol rocognizing girIs vlo Iikod llomand nol
oscaIaling on llom. Wlon I movod lo NYC, I vas aImosl a
virgin. I lad movod from a compIoloIy difforonl counlry,
Iackod sociaI skiIIs, and didnl knovmany poopIo. Al llal
limo, my focus slouId lavo boon on making nov frionds,
;
golling a fov dalos and jusl gonoraIIy going oul and laIk-
ing lo poopIo. CoId approacling slouId lavo boon moro
of a suppIomonl insload of llo main lling. Wlon I did aII
lloso approaclos, I Iackod cuIluraI undorslanding and I
aIso Iackod roforonco oxporioncos of boing soxuaIIy com-
forlabIo vill vomon. Tlo onIy oxporionco I vas golling
vas vill vomon vlo voro in loclic and crazy onviron-
monls. Ialor on, aflor I lad dolaclod mysoIf a bil from
IIA, llis vas llo aroa I focusodon, andllis is vlal ondod
up making mo lappy and giving mo rosuIls.
I doniloIy fooI llal llis is a probIom a Iol of poopIo in llo
soduclion communily slaro. Tloy simpIy pursuo vrong
goaIs. Somo of il comos from llo facl llal pickup is sup-
posod lo bo llis opic journoy vloro you boal aII odds, so-
duco ono lol voman aflor anollor, and in llo ond you
viII bo docIarod a loro by your foIIov IIA lribo mom-
bors. HonoslIy, if poopIo jusl focusod on basics Iiko mak-
ing novfrionds, picking up a coupIo of sociaI lobbios, and
jusl asking girIs oul on dalo, llon mosl of lloir probIoms
vouId bo soIvod. Wlal insload onds up lapponing is llal
a buncl of guys vlo aro aII oxlromoIy incapabIo in llo so-
ciaI roaIm, and vlo lavonl ovon lad any good-Iooking
fomaIo frionds for a vliIo, Iol aIono a girIfriond, loam up
lo go laIk lo lol vomon in roIalivoIy losliIo onvironmonls
Iiko nigll cIubs or busy slrools.
I llink poopIo slouId rsl focus on making somo doconlIy
cooI frionds, boll maIo and fomaIo, golling a sociaI lobby
or lvo, and going oul vill poopIo lloy mool in lloso on-
vironmonl. YouII probabIy gol a fov dalos llrougl lloso
frionds, or llrougl frionds of frionds. If you llink you
lavo lo coId approacl, llon do il sparingIy and jusl fo-
cus on laving roasonabIo convorsalions. If somoono canl
ovon do llis mucl, llon sIooping vill lol vomon on a
roguIar basis or puIIing qo of your rsl dalos slouId bo
llo Iasl lling on your mind. }usl focus on boing moro ag-
;
grossivo, moro soxuaI, irling moro, making oul roguIarIy
vill girIs in bars and cIubs and llo Iiko. As a noxl slop, lry
sIooping vill a fov girIs and gol somo basic soxuaI oxpo-
rionco. Onco you can do llal, and only then, you can focus
on bocoming llis mad pIayor vlo can gol an inslanl mako
oul from a girI llal is surroundod by vo AMOGs
1o
and
puII lor inlo llo ballroom slaII villin lon minulos. WoII,
if youro sliII inloroslod in pickup al llal poinl.
1o
AMOG is ono of llo moro absurd acronyms in llo communily. Il
slands for aIpla maIo / ollor guy, bul il is nol supposod lo impIy
llal ovory ollor guy is an aIpla guy, dospilo appoaranco lo llo con-
lrary. An AMOG is somo dudo, oflon in llo group of llo girI a IIA
is lilling on, vlo inlorforos vill llo pIans of our IillIo maslor pickup
arlisl. SadIy, il novor occurod lo IIAs llal ollor guys roacl in a losliIo
mannor lo llom bocauso lloy aro jusl loo fucking voird. A. S.
;
;6
You Dont Need to do
Too Much
IIAdudos say llal youslouIdnovor uso soIf-doprocaling
jokos and llon say llal you slouId slovsomo vuInorabiI-
ily so llal slo soos you as a roaI porson. Tloy aIso say llal
you slouId onIy loxl girIs aflor mooling llom and novor
caII llom, and llal you slouId onIy ask girIs oul casu-
aIIy for dalos and novor soriousIy. Tlo loxl mossagos you
sond slouId novor bo Iongor llan lors. Ono dudo says
you slouId incIudo smiIios in your loxl mossago, vliIo
anollor ono advisos you lo novor uso smiIoys al aII. You
slouId onIy loII slorios vloro il sooms llal girIs claso you,
andnovor ovor llo ollor vay round. You slouIdonIy givo
lor Iigll-loarlod compIimonls, and nol Iiko a bola vlo
is faIIing ovor limsoIf lo loII lor lov amazing slo is.
You slouId bo non-roaclivo vlon a girI slil losls you,
and prolond llal nolling ovor affocls you. LspociaIIy, you
slouId novor bo omolionaI in fronl of vomon. Tlals of
courso bocauso aII vomon onIy Iiko lougl aIplas. Tloro
aro ollor guys vlo lry lo roconciIo lloso conicling llo-
orios, and lloy loII you lov and vlon you aro supposod
lo bo bola, and vlon you lavo lo acl aIpla. Tloy ly-
pollosizo aboul vlon you can caII a girI, and vlon you
can onIy loxl lor, vlon lo compIimonl lor and vlon you
canl, vlon you can bo vuInorabIo in fronl of lor, and
;;
vlon you slouId acl aII aIpla, vlon you slouId acl
Iiko a pIayor and vlon Iiko a gonuino porson. Donl ovon
gol mo slarlod on pusl-puII, boing cavoman, golling inlo
slalo, NII, cocky-funny, roIo-pIays, croaling llo us vibo
and vlalnol. IrankIy, I donl ovon proporIy knov vlal
laIf of lloso llings roaIIy moan.
AII of llis is loo mucl!
Mosl of llis slil doosnl mallor al aII. In an allompl lo
mako uso of lloso concopls, guys jusl bocomo sociaIIyavk-
vard and gol oul of loucl vill lloir ovn porsonaIilios.
}usl do vlalovor llo fuck you vanl! If somo girI slil
losls you, and you didnl Iiko il, llon loII lor llal slos a
bilcl. Iso soIf-doprocaling jokos if you vanl lo. CaII a girI
if you fooI Iiko spoaking vill lor. CompIimonl lor lo llo
poinl of ombarrassmonl if you llink slo Iooks gorgoous.
ToII a slory in vlicl you did somolling lolaIIy slupid and
ombarrassing. InduIgo in boring bola convorsalions by
asking lor vlal slo doos for a Iiving or lovlor vookond
vas. }usl do vlalovor llo fuck you vanl, man!
Tlo idoa llal lloro aro so many llings you slouId do,
and so many ollors you slouIdnl do is oxaclIy vlal you
slouIdnl bo loIIing a guy vlo is aIroady loo norvous lo
laIk lo vomon and loo mucl in lis load anyvay. As Im
dislancing mysoIf moro and moro from llo communily, I
nd mysoIf doing a Iol of llings vlicl aro slrongIy ad-
visod againsl by IIAs, bul vlicl I jusl fooI Iiko doing. In
llo procoss I acluaIIy fooI mucl lappior and I aIso lond lo
connocl bollor vill vomon.
;8
You Really Dont Need
to do Too Much
Iol mo givo you a fov oxampIos from my ovn Iifo. Im
somoono vlo Iikos lo compIomonl vomon a Iol. I aIso
lond lo mako soIf-doprocaling jokos ovory nov and llon.
I usod lo do llis oarIior in ligl sclooI, bul compIoloIy
sloppod aflor coIIogo bocauso llis vas sucl a bola and
AIC lling lo do. Wlal lapponod vas llal vill a Iol of
sucl advico pul logollor, I Iosl a Iol of llo gonuinonoss
and sponlanoily I lavo lad.
Tloro vas llis roaIIy boaulifuI girI vlo usod lo como lo
my danco cIassos. Slo vas an absoIuloIy fanlaslic dancor,
vliclinlimidalodmo ovonmoro. Tloroforo, I novor askod
lor for a danco. I aIvays foIl Iiko compIimonling lor bo-
causo slo vas jusl so good. Bul I novor did bocauso I
llougll onIy AICs and bola maIos vouId do llis. Ono
day slo vas silling noxl lo mo, and I llougll, Iuck il! I
said lo lor llal slo vas sucl an amazing dancor and llal
bocauso of llal I vas aIvays inlimidalod and novor askod
lor lo danco vill mo. Slo vas bIusling so lard!
Wo dancod llal nigll and voro laIking a Iol. Anollor
nigll I camo lo llo parly roaIIy drunk and llon dancod
vill lor, kopl loIding lor roaIIy cIoso and vas gonoraIIy
vory avkvard. Tlon I loId lor llal I vas roaIIy drunk
;q
and vasnl going lo lorluro lor vill anollor song. Ac-
cording lo IIAs, llals jusl anollor bola slalomonl. Yol,
aflor llal nigll, slo jusl novor Iol go of mo. Wlon I camo
lo llo parly, slo vouId jusl drop vlalovor slo vas doing
lo como ovor, lug mo inlonsoIy and kiss mo on my clooks.
Wo vouId danco aII nigll and slod inlroduco mo lo lor
frionds as voII. I llink you gol llo poinl.
Tloro vas anollor inslanco vlon I vas al a saIsa parly
vlononI vas onvacalion. Tloro vas llis supor lol Span-
isl saIsa inslruclor. Slo vas dancing amazingIy voII and
aIso in a vory soduclivo vay. Slo vas ono lloso roaIIy in-
limidaling lol vomon and oasiIy ono of llo lollosl I lavo
ovor soon in roaI Iifo. IIoaso mind llal I lavo boon lo a Iol
of upscaIo cIubs in many major cilios aII ovor llo gIobo.
NormaIIy I vouIdnl daro laIk lo sucl a voman, or al Ioasl
nol villoul somo Iiquid courago.
IrankIy, I vas a bil drunk. I loId lor llal I lad como lo
llis pIaco and vanlod lo danco and slov off my skiIIs,
bul llal aflor lor porformanco I foIl slupid and vouIdnl
daro slop on llo danco oor. Tlis vas a far cry from vlal
a non-roaclivo, supor aIpla dudo vouId lavo dono, bul
I gonuinoIy foIl Iiko saying llal al llal momonl and
somolling amazing lapponod aflor I lad slul my moull
again. Slo suddonIy slarlod acling Iiko a IillIo girI and
look my land, andvo slarlodlaIking. Wo dancodfor a bil,
bul I vas cIoarIy no malcl for lor. Slo lad boon dancing
saIsa soriousIy for floon yoars, and I lad boon praclicing
il for maybo floon vooks. Bul slo kopl dancing vill mo.
Ialor llal nigll vo mado oul, and if I ladnl lad lo Ioavo
for anollor cily llo noxl day, probabIy moro vouId lavo
lapponod.
Tlo poinl is llal you slouId jusl do vlalovor you vanl.
Imnol saying llal ovorlIy compIimonling vomonviII gol
you Iaid moro oflon, or llal doing x, y, z is bollor. }usl do
vlal you roaIIy vanl lo do, bul koop llo basics in mind:
8o
dross voII, laIk lo vomon you Iiko, and soo if slo sooms
lo Iiko you. If so, llon movo llings forvard oillor plysi-
caIIy rigll lloro or ask lor oul on a dalo. Aparl from llal,
you can IiloraIIy do vlalovor llo fuck you vanl. Lvon-
luaIIy youII Ioarn from your oxporioncos and rono your
slyIo. I llink llo main probIom roaIIy is llal guys consor
llomsoIvos vay loo mucl, and lry lo foIIova buncl of ar-
bilrary ruIos, vlicl Iols llom novor gol oul of lloir load.
81
8z
The Purpose of PUA
I lavo boon moaning lo vrilo aboul llis issuo for a vliIo,
bul rigll boforo I vas going lo posl il on my bIog, Aaron
SIoazy boal mo lo il vill aImosl llo oxacl conlonl I lad
vrillon mysoIf. So insload of ropoaling ovorylling, Imro-
forring lo llis avosomo bIog posl Wly CoId Approacl-
ing is prolly mucl usoIoss, vlicl youII aIso nd in llo
appondix.
Nov llal SIoazy las sloIon my llundor, I viII jusl add a
fov llings lo offor my ovn viovs on roIalod mallors. I
vanl lo laIk aboul vlal I fooI llo purposo of any daling
coacling or IIA advico slouId bo. In my opinion, llo
poinl of pickup is lo maximizo llo quaIily and quanlily of
vomon you can gol in your Iifo vill llo Ioasl amounl of
offorl on your parl. Tlo offorl consisls of ovorylling you
pul in, i.o. monoy, limo, Ioss of monlaI poaco, or opporlu-
nily cosl of nol doing somolling oIso during llal limo and
vill aII llal monoy.
Wlon you viov mosl of IIA in llis Iigll, you viII prob-
abIy como lo llo samo concIusion as SIoazy in llal posl,
namoIy llal coId approacling is prolly mucl usoIoss. }usl
llink of lovcoId approacling is lypicaIIy rocommondod:
Gol lo a popuIar mainslroam cIub on a busy nigll and in-
discriminaloIy approacl lon clicks. RoaIIy, a Iol of acliv-
ilios aro bollor llan llal in llo sonso llal lloy offor llo
polonliaI for bollor rolurns. Bollor rolurns of courso aIso
8
moans roacling llo samo goaI vill mucl Ioss offorl.
Tlink of aclivilios Iiko dancing, yoga, pIaying inlramuraI
sporls or arl Iossons Iiko painling! Tloy aII offor you llo
polonliaI lo mool vory allraclivo and mucl liglor quaI-
ily vomon in a mucl oasior vay. You clooso an inlor-
osling lobby, vlicl you viII quilo possibIy onjoy a Iol,
and maybo youII ovon oxcoI al il. Tlis vay you viII mako
inlorosling frionds, you aro in an onvironmonl llals nol
losliIo, and il migll ovon improvo your ovoraII loaIll and
lnoss. Il corlainIy vonl bo damaging lo your monlaI
loaIll. By novyou can probabIy guoss vly I mucl profor
llis roulo.
Iols go ono IovoI doopor and Iook al individuaI aspocls.
Iirsl, considor venue selection. Going lo saIsa parlios, jazz
cIubs or aIumni ovonls aro aII suporior lo langing oul in
mainslroam cIubs. Ils mucl oasior lo slarl convorsalions
vill poopIo, ils oasior lo mako frionds, and ils obviousIy
mucl oasior lo pick up clicks lloro as voII. If slrool gamo
is your lling, llon langing oul in a park or allonding day-
limo concorls viII Ioad lo mucl bollor rosuIls llan aim-
IossIy roaming llo slrools.
Bul lloro is moro! Many poopIo in llo communily lry
lo givo advico on lov lo doaI vill lougl silualions Iiko
so-caIIod lard sols, vlicl is IIA Iingo for vomon vlo
aro lardIy rocoplivo if nol dovnrigll losliIo lovards you.
Onco again, lloros absoIuloIy no poinl in lrying lo bo aII
maclo and allompling lo gol llo difcuIl girI vlon lloro
aro vomonaroundvlo vouIdmuclmoro approcialo laIk-
ing lo you. Tlo purposo is lo mako llo vloIo lling supor
oasy and fun, and nol llo ollor vay around.
So far I lavo nol ovon oxpIicilIy laIkod aboul lov con-
slanlIy coId approacling damagos your psyclo, vrocks
your soIf-osloom and lurns you inlo a voirdo. Going lo
pIacos you lruIy onjoy loIps a Iol vill aII of llal. Tlis is
8
oxaclIy vly a Iol of IIAsilos lavo arlicIos ondoaIing vill
omolionaI ups and dovns, and lov llis is sucl an opic
journoy. Tloso guys somolovmanagod lo lurn laving a
sociaI Iifo, parlying, lilling on clicks, and going oul from
boing among llo mosl fun llings ono can do inlo a com-
pIolo drudgory. Iickup isnl supposod lo bo supor lard.
Il is and slouId bo fun.
Nov if somoono loIIs mo llal lloy lavo pIonly of limo
and onorgy, bul no monoy lo spond on aclivilios ovon
llon Imgoing lo say llal sarging
11
is usoIoss. Ils mucl
mucl bollor lo spond your limo on bocoming a cIub pro-
molor or jusl making frionds vill a fov ricl guys, and
sponding limo golling girIs lo lloso parlios. If llis is oul
of your roacl, llon maybo you can bocomo a barlondor,
vlicl is aIso a fun vay lo oasiIy mool a Iol of girIs.
Tlo onIy roason I fooI you slouId bo doing coId approacl-
ing is if you can soamIossIy inlogralo il inlo your IifoslyIo.
Say, youro oul slopping for grocorios and you soo a girI.
Of courso you can llon go laIk lo lor. Or if you aro oul
vill somo frionds al somo cIub and lloro aro vomon lloro
vlo you Iiko jusl go laIk lo llom! Hovovor, frooing up
a fov lours in your scloduIo vill llo soIo purposo of lil-
ling on clicks is nol somolling I fooI anyono slouId do, no
mallor vlal your silualionis. Ils simpIy bocauso lloro aro
aIvays many inniloIy bollor oplions avaiIabIo.
11
Sarging is a IIAlormfor llo acl of randomIy approacling girIs.
Ils impIiod llal llo voman las slovn absoIuloIy no sign llal slo
vanls lo bo approaclod, vlicl rofors lo }olnny monlioning llo obsos-
sion vill lard sols and coId approacling in llo IIA communily.
A. S.
8
86
Measuring Progress
I am vory surprisod no ono laIks aboul lov you slouId
moasuro your progross if you docido lo focus on improv-
ing llis aroa of your Iifo. Givon llo amounl of limo IIAs
loII you lo spond on your opic journoy, you slouId do-
niloIy knov vlollor you aro indood making progross as
opposod lo slagnaling or ovon vorsoning. You can onIy
mako approprialo clangos if you knov vlollor youro
improving.
On a lypicaI nigll oul, conlrary lo vlal mosl IIAs vouId
lavo you boIiovo, mosl of llo girIs aro nol roaIIy Iooking
for a guy and, frankIy, no amounl of gamo can clango
anylling aboul il. Among llo girIs anyono las a slol al,
lloro viII bo quilo a fov vlo vonl considor you lo bo
lloir lypo. Ollors may nol vanl lo Iook Iiko a sIul in fronl
of lloir frionds, and of courso lloro is a myriad of ollor
possibIo roasons vly you canl gol vill llom, no mallor
lov good your gamo is. RoaIislicaIIy spoaking, lloro is
onIy a comparabIy smaII numbor of vomon on any givon
nigll you lavo a clanco of golling vill.
SlalislicaIIy spoaking, mosl of your approaclos if you
approacl indiscriminaloIy aro going lo ond up in rojoc-
lions, and for lloso il doosnl roaIIy mallor vlal you do.
1z
Your focus slouId lloroforo Iio on inloraclions vill girIs
1z
Tlis is vly ils so imporlanl lo nd your niclo. Tlis doosnl moan
llal youII magicaIIy ond up in a posilion vloro you can lavo any girI
8;
you lavo a slol vill. Wlon you gol rojoclod rigll from
llo off, or vlon you nd yoursoIf in a silualion vloro llo
girI is moroIy boing poIilo bul jusl nol inloroslodal aII, llon
lloro is jusl nolling you can Ioarn. Iikoviso, lloro is noll-
ing lo bo improvod lloro. Of courso, lloro aro oxlromo
casos of guys llal approacl, say, fly vomon a nigll, and
lloy aII lurn llom dovn immodialoIy. Tloso guys slouId
doniloIy roocl ovor vlal lloy aro doing. Bul barring
llal, onIy focus on lov voII you do vill vomon vlo
soom lo Iiko you. Tloro is nol mucl vorll Ioarning from
rojoclions, nor can you improvo mucl ollor llan lrying lo
idonlify lloso vomon in llo rsl pIaco and nol approacl
llom al aII.
Tlis is anollor major probIom vill pickup, i.o. llo fo-
cus is fuckod up. If you go around approacling vomon
indiscriminaloIy, jusl Iiko IIAs rocommond il, and llon
vorry aboul vly you gol slol dovn a Iol, llon somolling
is cIoarIy amiss. Sinco you aro llinking aboul llal, you
viII bo moro concornodaboul your succoss ralo llan aboul
making il lappon vill a girI vlo Iikos you inslanlIy
slouId you lappon lo accidonlaIIy como across ono. }usl
focus on lov voII you aro doing vill vomon vlo Iiko
you. Tlis is llo aspocl vloro you slouId soo roguIar im-
provomonls in your rosuIls. Of courso, lloro is somolling
lo bo said aboul improving your odds boforo llo approacl
by scrooning, vorking oul, drossing voII, and picking llo
rigll vonuos. Bul in lorms of acluaI approaclos, llis is
vlal you slouId focus on.
If I Iook al my ovn rosuIls, I can cIoarIy soo llal I lavo
improvod a Iol and fairIy consislonlIy. I sliII romombor
vory vividIy llo rsl limo I vas cIoso-dancing and grind-
ing vill a girI. Il foIl so avosomo. Hovovor I vas baroIy
abIo lo muslor up llo courago lo lavo a clal vill lor Ialor
you vanl. Hovovor, llo numbor of girIs vlo aro polonliaIIy inloroslod
viII bo signicanlIy liglor. A. S.
88
on, mucl Ioss lo mako a sorious movo on lor. Tlis las
improvod sloadiIy. SIovIy I vas abIo lo acluaIIy puII girIs
cIosor lo mo vliIo dancing, llon I vas abIo lo loId sloady
oyo conlacl. Novadays I run my land llrougl lor lair,
loId lor cIoso lo mo and Iook al lor in llo oyos. I lavo no
probIom anymoro vill asking lloso girIs oul on dalos, or
irling a bil. I fooI moro comforlabIo laking llo convorsa-
lion inlo a soxuaI diroclion and Im abIo lo do il oarIior. I
can aIso ask vomon lo como lomo vill mo, vlicl vas
somolling I didnl lavo llo baIIs lo do boforo.
Of courso, lloro is a Iol moro lo improvo bul nov llal I
fooI Im Iooking al llo rigll molric, Im nol confusod any-
moro. I knov llal Im making progross. Bocauso of llal I
aIso fooI bollor and Im no Iongor conslanlIy fruslralod. I
nov fooI llal gamo and soIf-improvomonl in llis aroa aro
primariIy aboul golling ovor your ovn foars andanxiolios,
and jusl oxprossing yoursoIf.
I visl llal somoono in llo IIA communily lad loId mo
llis oarIior. Tlon I vouId lavo knovn nol lo approacl
vomon indiscriminaloIy, and I vouId lavo roaIizod llal
mosl rojoclions donl moan anylling and llal vlal you
say lardIy ovon mallors. Wlal mallors is llal you gol ovor
your anxiolios and llal you soxuaIIy oscaIalo vlon a girI
Iikos you. Iooking back, lloro voro so many vomon vlo
Iikod mo, bul I fuckod il up bocauso I lad boon focussing
on llo vrong llings. Hovovor, Im acluaIIy vory lappy
llal lloro voro so many ligl-quaIily vomon.
Ils vory Iiboraling lo knov llal lloro isnl mucl you can
do vlon you aro approacling and llal you aronl going
lo suddonIy mako a girI lorny llal jusl isnl inlo you. I
guoss gamo comos dovn lo pinging a Iol of vomon in
a slorl amounl of limo. Wlon you soo a girI vlo Iikos
you, oscaIalo. Ovor limo, you viII bocomo smoollor in
your oscaIalions. YouII bo abIo lo ask moro vomon oul on
dalos, Ioarn lo loII sly girIs vlo acluaIIy Iiko you fromllo
8q
bilcly onos, bocomo boIdor, and ovoraII youII gol furllor
vill lloso vomon and gol moro of llom.
qo
Moving On
q1
PUA for the Average
Guy
RoconlIy, Aaron SIoazy vrolo an arlicIo on vly coId ap-
proacling is aImosl usoIoss. Il sooms lo lavo gonoralod a
lugo buzz on a numbor of forums and on lis bIog. Tloso
vlo voro disagrooing vill lim soom lo lavo compIoloIy
missod llo poinl of llo posl vlicl is llal you slouIdnl
approacl slrangors indiscriminately. Lillor approacl poo-
pIo vlo soom opon in gonoraI or poopIo vlo soom inlor-
oslod in you spocicaIIy, bul donl approacl randomIy.
Sinco I boIiovo il is a vory imporlanl lopic, I vanl lo oIabo-
ralo somo moro on il. Nov, boforo somoono accusos mo of
boing a SIoazy fanboy, vlicl you aro froo lo do, I vouId
approcialo if you road llis claplor and jusl roocl on your
ovn oxporioncos.
Ono imporlanl poinl llo IIA communily sooms lo miss
compIoloIy, andI knovllal by novI lavo roaIIy ovorusod
llis plraso, is llal lloy donl laIk aboul your largol au-
dionco. To givo you somo background informalion: Ac-
cording lo various slalislics, llo avorago numbor of sox-
uaI parlnors is around sovon in a lifetime. }usl as a sido
nolo, somo survoys say llal llo avoragos for guys andgirIs
aro difforonl. Assuming a Iargo fraclion of sox is dono bo-
lvoon ono man and ono voman, and llal llo numbor of
mon and vomon around llo vorId is rouglIy oquaI, llo
q
numbor slouId bo llo samo for boll soxos. GonoraIIy,
lovovor, llo avorago is dislorlod by oulIiors. Tlis moans
llal llo modian slouId bo Iovor. I viII Iol you drav your
ovn concIusions from lloso guros, bul il is safo lo say
llal fucking lvonly nov vomon a yoar is nol roaIIy on
llo mind of an avorago guy.
I Iiko lo llink of mysoIf as an avorago guy vill roIalivoIy
modosl goaIs. My goaI vill IIA vas llal I vanlod lo
fooI moro comforlabIo and condonl aboul my Iovo Iifo
and around vomon, bang a fov clicks loro and lloro,
and llon sollIo dovn vill a ligl quaIily girI. I llink mosl
guys lavo simiIar ambilions. AII llo sluff I slaro on my
bIog and in llis book, and llo spiril of SIoazys posl, is in
a simiIar Iigll, namoIy llal il is aII moanl for llo avorago
guy. Ils nol nocossariIy for llo guy vlo vanls lo fuck
a nov voman ovory vook. I boIiovo llal ovon for a guy
Iiko llal my advico is voII suilod, bul I canl say for suro
bocauso I am nol llal kind of guy.
To bocomo a guy vlo gols a fov ligl-quaIily vomon a
yoar, you roaIIy donl nood lo lavo absoIuloIy zoro ap-
proacl anxioly, sociaI anxioly and soxuaI anxioly. You
donl nood lo bo abIo lo gol vo mako ouls ovory limo
you go oul, or lavo lo bo compIoloIy immuno lo rojoclion,
and pIoaso aIso forgol aboul approacling onIy llo lard-
osl sols, and quil your pipo droams of convorling qoof
your rsl dalos inlo Iays, as IIAs Iiko lo plraso il. AIso,
donl fooI bad if you donl lavo sox vill ovory nov girI
villin an lour of mooling lor and giving lor lon orgasm
in lvonly minulos and vlalnol.
You slouId bo moro llan good lo go if you simpIy go oul
a bil, pursuo somo lobbios, lavo fun vill frionds, and
ask girIs oul on dalos vlo soom inloroslod in you. Tlis
is vlal mosl avorago guys vanl anyvay. Ils ono lling lo
say llal you aro oul on a businoss dinnor, soo a girI you
Iiko and lry lo clal lor up, bul conslanlIy going oul vill
q
llo soIo purposo of mooling vomon isnl somolling Id
rocommond for anyono. Tlo primariIy vaIuo of coId ap-
proacling as I soo il is llal you soo llal you can acluaIIy
approacl slrangors. Tlis is aIso mucl bollor cuIlivalod in
a varmor sconario bocauso poopIo viII normaIIy bo mucl
moro friondIy, bul slriclIy spoaking, lloso vouId bo varm
approaclos llon. Ils ligl limo somo poopIo roaIizo llal il
lakos lvo lo lango.
If you novor gol a dalo from your sociaI circIo or varm
approaclos, llon, gonoraIIy spoaking, your probIoms aro
nol roIalod lo girIs. Ils aImosl corlainIy somolling oIso,
bul boforo you slarl droaming of puIIing girIs, you lavo lo
sorl oul your basics rsl. Onco you lavo dono llal and aro
abIo lo gol a fov girIs llo vay I jusl monlionod, and basi-
caIIy acliovo llo goaIs of llo avorago guy, llon go and do
vlalovor you vanl. Hovovor, I lavo a slrong fooIing llal
if poopIo acluaIIy sluck lo lloir sociaI circIo and did varm
approaclos, llon mosl of llomvouIdnl ovon bollor vill
IIA nonsonso aflorvards.
q
q6
PUA for the Totally
Clueless Guy
As I lavo vrillon boforo vlon I vas loIIing you aboul my
background, I como from a vory consorvalivo famiIy. In
coIIogo I baroIy lad any inloraclions vill vomon. Al llo
ondof my junior yoar I vonl lo NovYork Cily for llo sum-
mor lo vork. Il vas loro llal I look my rsl ovor saIsa
Iossons. You may nol boIiovo vlon I say llis, bul I aImosl
didnl go. I lad paid llo monoy in advanco, bul lon min-
ulos boforo llo Iosson slarlod, I jusl foIl so uncomforlabIo.
WaIking lo llo cIass vas a lugo monlaI slruggIo. I vaIkod
lloro and llon back duo lo my anxioly. Bul ovonluaIIy I
lurnod around and vonl lo llo cIass.
I vas incrodibIy anxious aboul ovorylling. I vas anxious
aboul my dancing abiIilios bocauso ovoryono loId mo llal
I vas a pallolic dancor. I vas anxious aboul mooling nov
girIs, and dancing vill llom. Tlon I lad somo fuckod up
nolions aboul vlal saIsa dancing vas supposod lo bo Iiko
andso on andso forll. Rigll boforo llo slarl of llo Iosson I
vas so anxious llal vlon llo fomaIo inslruclor lloro said,
Hi, lovaro you`, I couIdnl say anylling in rolurn. Hor
namo vas Lva, and slo vas so lol. I sliII romombor lor
cIoarIy. As soon as llo Iosson slarlod, I roaIizod llal ovory-
body oIso vas anxious, loo, bocauso nono of us knovlov
lo danco. Bul llo inslruclor vas vory sympallolic, llo mu-
q;
sic vas good, and slo mado us Iaugl so vo aII quickIy foIl
a Iol moro comforlabIo.
Aflor llal I vonl lo my rsl saIsa parly. You may onco
again nol vanl lo boIiovo il, bul boforo llis nigll, I lad
novor boon lo a cIub in my onliro Iifo. Yos, I lad boon lo a
coupIo of bars, bul novor lo a cIub or a danco parly. I vas
so lonso llal llo onliro nigll I didnl danco vill a singIo
girI. Al llo vory ond I dancod vill somo girI for a bil,
and llis vas my rsl danco nigll. I couId go on and on
vill my slorios, bul llo poinl I is llal I lavo boon lloro,
and I undorsland. I donl vanl lo mako llis inlo a conlosl
aboul vlo comos from llo mosl fuckod up background,
bul lrusl mo vlon I say llal vory fov guys como from a
moro fuckod up pIaco llan mo.
Iooking back, lad I gol inlo IIA al llis slago, I soriousIy
donl knov lov badIy il vouId lavo fuckod mo up. Tlo
probIoms for mo, or for anyono in a simiIar posilion, voro
nol clicks roIalod al aII. Il vas gonoraI anxioly. Guys Iiko
llal, and llis incIudos mo, lavo jusl nol boon sociaI and
oulgoing onougl. Wo lavo novor ladonougl roguIar cooI
oulgoing frionds. Wo novor Ioarnod lov lo dross prop-
orIy, and novor Ioarnl lo bo comforlabIo around vomon,
or ovon ollor randomguys for llal mallor. Wo novor vonl
oul vill many fomaIo frionds and maybo lavonl ovon
spokon lo vomon as if lloy aro jusl roguIar poopIo.
Ovorcoming aII of llis is an acliovomonl ilsoIf and llis is
vlal you slouId focus on. }usl slarl going oul a bil and
laIk lo a fov poopIo! Try oul somo random lobby, ovon
if you donl knov anybody oIso vlo is inlo il, and mako
nov frionds llis vay. Onco you aro comforlabIo vill llal
you can slarl lo vorry aboul daling vomon. You migll
miss a Iol of opporlunilios aIong llo vay, bul rigll nov
you lavo biggor concorns.
Tlis is oxaclIy vlal Aaron SIoazy caIIs foundalions. Onco
q8
you can do llis, llon sIovIy you viII slarl nolicing llal
somo vomon aro a IillIo bil loo friondIy or aro silling in
a cornor, laIking lo you for laIf an lour al a danco parly,
or aro smiIing a bil loo mucl and slanding loo cIoso vliIo
laIkinglo you, or koopmakingsuggoslivo oyo conlacl vill
you. Il viII lappon. No, Im nol spociaI, and il lappons
lo mo.
I usod lo llink llal lloro is no vay clicks viII ovor Iiko mo
for vlo I am. I boIiovod llal I nood lo do a Iol of random
slil bocauso, cIoarIy, Im quilo unallraclivo. I romombor
boing lonosl onco and admillod lo mysoIf llal if I lad a
nakod girI on my coucl, I probabIy vouIdnl knov vlal
lo do. IoopIo Iiko llis lavo ollor issuos. Iirsl gol your
foundalions sorlod oul and onIy aflorvards vorry aboul
your daling Iifo. Onco you lavo boon on a coupIo dozon
dalos, you viII soo llal advico Iiko, Do varmapproaclos
lo gol clicks! or Iook oul for varm signaIs. viII slarl
lo bocomo obvious lo you as voII.
qq
1oo
Boyfriends and
One-Night Stands
Tloro is ono parlicuIar sol of dogmas llals proaclodinllo
IIA communily, and ils ono I novor quilo undorslood.
Ils llo obsossion vill ono-nigll slands, nol boing sIollod
inlo a boyfriond roIo, nol vanling lo spond any monoy
al aII on dalos, nol vanling lo go oul on dalos and insload
onIy pursuing supor-fasl Iays and llo Iiko.
Iols laIk aboul my ovn oxporioncos rsl. Al llo limo of
vriling llis, I lavo lad a lolaI of llroo ono-nigll slands.
Tvo of lloso voro on vacalion, and ono vas a IocaI lling
vloro llo girIs anc vas in anollor counlry. Slo jusl
vanlod lo gol Iaid llal nigll. Aparl from llal, ovory girI
I ovor gol I ondod up in somo kind of roIalionslip vill,
moslIy of llo casuaI kind. Tlis moanl llal vo mol rogu-
IarIy, lad somo fun and, voII, sIopl logollor. I gonuinoIy
onjoyod sponding limo vill lloso vomon, and lloroforo
I donl undorsland vly ono vouId vanl lo lavo sox vill
a girI jusl onco. Aflor aII, llo iniliaI offorl is llo Iargosl.
I can imagino llal ils okay if youvo gol aII llo limo in
llo vorId or if youro on vacalion. Bul ollorviso, vly
vouIdnl you vanl lo lavo a roguIar girI you onjoy`
I simiIarIy donl undorsland vly guys donl vanl lo lavo
a girIfriond. SoriousIy, vlal oxaclIy is vrong vill laving
1o1
a girI vlo is fun, vloso company you onjoy, vlo inlro-
ducos you lo a buncl of poopIo and vlo you can lavo sox
vill al Ioasl somi-roguIarIy` You knov, jusl bocauso you
aro in somo kind of roIalionslip doosnl moan llal you can
novor ovor irl vill anollor voman in your Iifo, nor doos
il moan llal you lavo lo gol marriod and lavo kids vill
lor. Do you roaIIy profor going oul and pIaying llo num-
bors gamo conslanlIy`
Tlon lloro is llo obsossion aboul nol vanling lo spond
any monoy on dalos. I undorsland llal ono slouIdnl fooI
llo nood lo nocossariIy lako girIs oul on oxponsivo dalos.
Bul if you mako doconl monoy, vlicl I do, and probabIy
quilo a fov of you guys do as voII, llon vlals llo off-
ing probIom vill pIunking dovn somo casl` Tloro aro
pIonly of pIacos I roaIIy onjoy, and vlicl aro on llo moro
oxponsivo sido. Of courso, I novor do a dalo vloro al llo
ond of llo nigll I ond up rosonling llo amounl of monoy
I sponl. NonolloIoss, I porsonaIIy donl mind sponding
somo oxlra casl if il moans laving moro fun. Givon llo
cloico bolvoon sponding vory IillIo and going lo a pIaco I
can baroIy loIoralo and vloro my onliro nigll is riding on
vlollor I ond up fucking lor or nol, vorsus sponding a bil
moro and going lo a pIaco I knov III onjoy, irrospoclivo of
llo girI, llon I vouId corlainIy pick llo Iallor.
Or Iols laIk aboul nol vanling lo go oul on dalos and aI-
vays vanling supor fasl Iays. I vrolo aboul llis in an oar-
Iior claplor, Indorslanding Your IocaI Lnvironmonl.
Going for a fasl Iay doosnl aIvays vork and loaviIy do-
ponds on llo girI. Bul onco again I lavo lo ask vlal llo
probIomis vill vailing a bil Iongor lo lavo sox vill a girI
if you onjoyod llo vloIo limo on llo dalo as voII` I guoss
a Iol of lloso issuos aro roIalod lo llo poinl vloro guys
llink lloy nood lo praclico going oul on dalos, vlicl
is somolling you loar a Iol in llo soduclion communily.
Tlus, lloy ond up vill jusl a ono-nigll sland insload of
1oz
roguIar sox vill llal parlicuIar girI. Maybo youdidnl Iiko
llo girI and didnl parlicuIarIy onjoy llo acluaI dalo, bul if
you do, llon I soo absoIuloIy no probIomvill going on an
oxlra dalo or lvo. Of courso, lloro aro somo cavoals. Iirsl,
somo girIs jusl pIay gamos, and of lloso you slouId dof-
iniloIy gol rid of. Socond, going oul on dalos and laving
fun slouId nol bo an oxcuso lo nol oscaIalo on girIs. Aparl
from llal, I donl soo llo issuo.
I jusl pul dovn somo random llouglls vlicl I lad on
llis issuo. Ivo boon ropoaling mysoIf a bil, bul llo poinl
romains: do vlal youonjoy doing andnol vlal somo ran-
dom guy on llo Inlornol is loIIing you lo do. Tlis is ospo-
ciaIIy lruo if you donl roIalo vill vlal lo is saying. Of
courso, donl lako my advico as an oxcuso nol lo oscaIalo,
bul ollor llan llal, if somolling fooIs rigll, llon jusl do
il. }usl donl Iislon lo slupid Inlornol daling advico.
1o
1o
Who Denes your
Self-Esteem?
I vanl lo laIk aboul soIf-osloom and lov llo soduclion
communily givos you a lolaIIy fuckod up idoa aboul il.
Iols pick a IIA vlo caIIs limsoIf D} Iuji as a random
oxampIo. In lis laIks lo froquonlIy rallIos off a Iisl of buI-
Iol poinls aboul lis acliovomonls in lis lvonlios. Ho vas
in llo marinos, and in vory good plysicaI condilion. Ialor
on, lo mado a slilIoadof monoy andovonbocamo a lomo-
ovnor, and so on. Bul dospilo aII lloso acliovomonls lo
foIl Iiko slil bocauso vail for il! lo couIdnl gol clicks.
BasicaIIy llo samo slory is loId, maybo nol as dramalicaIIy,
by ollor scam, or, pickup arlisls as voII.
Tloso guys prolly mucl lry lo loII you llal ovorylling a
guy las dono in lis Iifo amounls lo nolling if lo isnl abIo
lo bang lol 18 lo zz yoar-oId vomon! I romombor road-
ing a posl by Roosl in vlicl lo vas making fun of somo
doclor. Roosl llougll llal guy vas slupid bocauso lo
didnl roguIarIy gol lol young pussy, and llal lloro voro
ollor dudos vlo, jusl bocauso lloy sluff a coupIo of ran-
dom lvonly yoar-oIds, suddonIy fooI Iiko kings.
1
Hovovor, doning your soIf-osloom by vlal somo ran-
1
I didnl Iook up llal arlicIo. Yol, making an assumplion aboul llo
sox Iifo of somo doclor is rallor slupid. Roosl may nd il lard lo con-
coivo, bul somo poopIo donl caro llal mucl aboul golling Iaid, and
1o
dom18 or zo yoar oId girI llinks aboul you is so incrodibIy
slupidllal ils nol ovonfunny anymoro. Iol mo slaro vill
you somo commonls girIs in llal ago rango lavo mado.
Ono girI askod mo vly I vonl lo ono llo bosl coIIogos of
my counlry vlon ils so boring lloro. Slo said llal I
slouId lavo gono lo a parly sclooI Iiko Arizona Slalo in-
sload. A z1 yoar-oId loId mo aboul somo absoIuloIy os-
sonliaI quaIilios a guy musl lavo boforo slo vouId con-
sidor daling lim: 6 fool laII (slo vas ), good Iooking,
Ioadod, voII-lravoIod, an indopondonl llinkor, gradualo
of an Ivy Ioaguo lypo coIIogo. Of courso, lo slouIdnl bo
possossivo al aII. WoII, you gol llo drifl. Tloso voro jusl
lvo oxampIos, bul I couId go on and on bocauso I lappon
lo lavo a fov fomaIo cousins vlo aro bolvoon 18 and z1,
so I mool llom and lloir frionds.
Aparl from Iiko o.1 of llom, young girIs aro so imma-
luro llal soriousIy llinking aboul vlal lloy say or docido
lo do is lolaIIy slupid. Nov imagino llo lypicaI IIA vlo
basos lis soIf-osloom on lov many cIub clicks or ollor
loonago lollios lo is abIo lo fuck! Considoring my provi-
ous oxampIos, lov inloIIigonl do you llink llis idoa is`
If I voro lo do llis, llon aII llo llings I lavo acliovod in
Iifo, and I do llink I lavo acliovod a fair bil in Iifo by any
molric, aro supposod lo amounl lo nolling comparod lo
somo slruggIing bar londor vlo las bangod ono lundrod
clicks`
Tlink aboul your avorago IIA! Ho goos aroundcIubs and
bars and gols rojoclod by random vomon. Ho focusos on
soIf-improvomonl so llal lo can bang clicks. Ho Ioarns
lov lo loII slorios proporIy, invonls somo roIo-pIays,
ollors do gol Iaid bul donl fooI llo nood lo pubIicizo llo facl. Roosl
limsoIf doosnl gol Iaid mucl, so ils quilo possibIo llal said doclor
gols moro girIs llan Roosl limsoIf, bul jusl doosnl bollor loIIing llo
vorId aboul il. Aflor aII, pIonly of vomon suddonIy gol inloroslod in
a guy onco lloy Ioarn llal los a doclor. A. S.
1o6
Ioarns aboul NII and I donl knov vlal ollor nonsonso
los inlo. Ho goos llrougl omolionaI ups and dovns, bul
gIamorizos lis journoy lo an unimaginabIo dogroo and
imaginos il lo bo rovarding boyond boIiof. Ho spond lons
of lours ovory vook ovor many monlls and yoars, and
aII for vlal!` }usl so llal lo can gol vaIidalod by somo
loonago or adoIosconl girI` Is llis roaIIy vlal you vanl lo
vork for llo vaIidalion of random loonago girIs`
Tloro aro ollor amazingIyslupidslalomonls poopIo mako,
sucl as, if you donl fuck clicks llon your gonos viII
nol bo passod on, or somolling lo llis offocl. I llink ils
duo lo Myslory. Bul, man, lloro is a Iol moro lo Iifo llan
fucking loonago girIs. I lopo lal you donl Iol your mood,
goaIs in Iifo, and soIf-osloombo donod by vlal you llink
lloso vomon llink of you.
1o;
1o8
Building Positive
Reference Experiences
Mosl of us viII lavo lad niglls or jusl ollor limos of llo
day vloro you lavo como back lomo and gol inlo llis
nogalivo llougll Ioop, llinking llal youro nol good, vly
llo fuck you aro Iiko llis, vly you aro nol Iiko llal, and
vondoring vlollor youro going lo bo singIo for llo rosl
of your Iifo. Wlal llo soduclion communily offors as a
soIulion is random fooI-good garbago and innor-gamo
nonsonso. I am nol a big boIiovor in any of llal. I fooI a Iol
of llis comos dovn lo buiIding posilivo roforonco oxpori-
oncos vlicl you can Iook back on, consciousIy or subcon-
sciousIy, and say lo yoursoIf, Dudo, llals jusl nol lruo!
Iooking inlo roforonco oxporioncos is vaIuabIo for many
roasons bul I vanl lo focus on llo omolionaI aspocls. Iol
mo givo you an oxampIo rsl.
As I lavo monlionod a fov limos boforo, I lavo dono vory
voII for mysoIf profossionaIIy and acadomicaIIy. I gradu-
alod noar llo lop of my cIass in vlal is considorod lo bo
ono of llo louglosl coIIogos in my counlry. I lavo loId
a prosligious job in vlicl I vas consislonlIy among llo
lop porformors, and lavo rocoivod oulslanding roviovs in
anylling roIalodlo my vork. Bocauso I lavo so many pos-
ilivo roforonco oxporioncos lo back mysoIf, I raroIy quos-
lion vlollor Im roaIIy good al my job. If Im laving an
1oq
off nigll, my mind migll say, Yoal, dudo, youro prob-
abIy nol roaIIy suilod for llis, or, WoII, buddy, I guoss
youro nol yol roady for llal! Bul on llo ollor land, my
subconscious novor quoslions vlollor III ovor bo abIo lo
oarn onougl monoy lo Iivo a good Iifo, or vlollor III gol
a nov job if I gol rod from my curronl ono.
Will vomon ils prolly mucl llo samo. I usod lo llink
llal maybo I vas loo ugIy and loo slorl, llal I viII maybo
novor lavo succoss vill vomon, and llal no ono Iikos mo.
Bul novllal I lavo buiIl up quilo a fovposilivo roforonco
oxporioncos, I can Iook back and say lo mysoIf, Dudo,
slul up aIroady! IIonly of vomon Iiko mo. Bocauso of
llal, I donl ovon gol inlo llis circIo of nogalivo llouglls.
Somo parl of mo jusl canl lako il soriousIy bocauso, voII,
simpIy loo many roaIIy nico vomon lavo Iikod mo. A dif-
foronl parl of mo is viIIing lo accopl llal Immaybo a dud
vlon il comos lo nolicing llo signaIs vomon sond oul, or
loII mo llal Im nol aggrossivo onougl, or llal I jusl may
nol froquonlIy gol supor-lol vomon. Bul lloso days ils
oxcoodingIy raro llal I loII mysoIf, Ol slil, nobody Iikos
mo!
By nov you may aIso lavo roaIizod vly doing a Iol of
indiscriminalo coId approaclos is lorribIo for your omo-
lionaI slalo. A lypicaI IIA novbio las llis vory prob-
Iom, namoIy llal lo las slorod loo many nogalivo rofor-
onco oxporioncos in lis load. If lo goos oul and randomIy
approaclos vomon, villoul any kind of pIan and vill
unroasonabIo oxpoclalions, lo viII invariabIy gol rojoclod
a Iol. Tlis viII jusl furllor add lo lis aIroady fuckod up
monlaI slalo.
Tlo soIulion las lvo parls. Iirsl, knov vlal lo Iook for,
and vlal you can roaIislicaIIy oxpocl for yoursoIf. Tlis
is caIIod living in reality. If you llink llal aflor golling
onougl skiIIz you migll soduco any voman, llon you
viII novor bo lappy. You viII onIy koop clasing somo-
11o
lling unroaI, and your roforonco oxporioncos viII novor
back up your succossos, Ioading lo moro and moro omo-
lionaI svings. If you approacl vomon vlo aro laIIor llan
you and gol slol dovn roguIarIy, llon you apparonlIy
do nol knov vlal lo Iook for. I llink lloro aro lvo or
llroo llings llal aro imporlanl lo koop in mind: TaIIor
vomon aro raroIy inloroslod. Tlon, ils of courso a num-
bors gamo, so slalislicaIIy spoaking mosl vomon vonl bo
inloroslod in you lo bogin vill. Iooks aro vory imporlanl,
vlicl moans llal il gonoraIIy vonl lappon llal youII bo
golling vomon vlo aro oul of your Ioaguo. Wlal kind
of vonuo you go lo is imporlanl, and so is laving somo-
lling in common vill llo vomon you aro going aflor. Of
courso, llings normaIIy donl go smoollIy aII llo limo oi-
llor.
Onco you knov vlal lo Iook for, llo noxl slop is lo aclu-
aIIy pul yoursoIf in silualions llal aIIov you lo buiId pos-
ilivo roforonco oxporioncos. Tlis is vloro aclion is impor-
lanl. You vonl buiId roforonco oxporioncos by silling al
lomo and roading a book on pickup. Somo poopIo migll
novsay llal ImloIIing poopIo lo bo loo accopling of lloir
silualion, andllal I donl vanl llomlo improvo. Of courso
I couId loII you aboul llo IimilIoss polonliaI for soIf-im-
provomonl and llis and llal vlicl viII mako you do sig-
nicanlIy bollor. Bul isnl il bollor lo lavo realistic oxpoc-
lalions so you can fooI conlonl`
Of courso, bo lappy vlon you occasionaIIy puncl abovo
your voigll! Or vouId you rallor vanl lo fooI fruslralod
aboul llo girIs you normaIIy gol and onIy vanl lo fooI
okay vlon you sporadicaIIy puncl abovo your voigll`
Onco you lavo onougl roforonco oxporionco and llo rigll
molrics, you viII jusl slop laving lloso randomomolionaI
ups and dovns. I lavonl lad lloso for a vliIo nov. You
simpIy vonl Iislon lo your mind and lako llis soIf-laIk so-
riousIy vlon il lrios lo gol inlo ono of lloso unproduclivo
111
llougll Ioops bocauso you viII say lo yoursoIf, Dudo,
llals jusl nol lruo!
11z
Women are Just as
Clueless as Guys
Tloro is ono impIiod nolion llal comos across from a Iol
of daling advico. Ils llo idoa llal vomon aro somolov
sociaIIy porfocl and llal if you manago lo improvo your
gamo onougl, al llo vory Ioasl, you slouId gol llo ma-
jorily of llo vomon vlo aro inloroslod in you. Hovovor,
vlal is mucl cIosor lo llo lrull is llal a Iol of vomon aro
jusl as cIuoIoss as guys vlon il comos lo daling, and llal
il lakos lvo lo lango.
Iol mo givo you a fov oxampIos from my roconl oxpori-
oncos. Tlo ollor nigll, I vonl lo a sland-up comody nigll.
Tloro vas llis girI vlo vas conslanlIy Iooking al mo and
smiIing vory soduclivoIy. Irom an acquainlanco I knov
llal slo vas singIo. I vaIk up lo lor lo clal for a bil. AIil-
lIo Ialor in llo ovoning vlon I vas aboul lo Ioavo, I askod
lor vlollor slo vanls lo do somolling vill mo on llo
vookond. SuddonIy slo gols aII norvous and slarls giv-
ing mo somo buIIslil. So I said, Okay, no probIom. and
movod on.
Ils of courso possibIo llal I vas vrong in assuming llal
slo Iikos mo bul lloso days my inluilion is prolly spol-
on. I donl knov vlal llo issuo vill lor vas, bul in my
viov, I did my parl of inilialing llo convorsalion, laIking
11
a bil and asking lor oul. Maybo slo vanlod lo clal moro,
maybo slo did nol vanl lo do somo ollor slil. Bul llo
poinl is llal ovory girI vanls difforonl llings and you can
onIy do so mucl. If llo girI doosnl do lor parl, lloro isnl
mucl you can do yoursoIf.
I romombor llis ono limo in a bar vlon I vas laIking lo
a girI and llon movod in roaIIy cIoso. SuddonIy llo girI
slarls golling aII mixodomolions andloIIs mo in quick suc-
cossion llal I smoII so good and aboul lovslo is sliII lurl
bocauso a guy of my nalionaIily onco dalod lor. Ho lad
promisod llal lo vouId marry lor bul dumpod lor Ialor
on. Afovdays back, I vas in bod vill anollor girI valcl-
ing a movio. Wo slarl golling a IillIo cuddIy, llon vo slarl
making oul and as I lry lo ramp up llo plysicaI oscaIa-
lion, slo is Iiko, I am nol suro if I vanl lo do llis. I sliII
fooI lurl from my Iasl roIalionslip, and somo ollor crap.
Ollor limos, llo issuos couId bo mucl simpIor. Say, you
aro oul vill your frionds al somo cooI ovonl, and loxl a
girI lo drop by as ils going lo bo a Iol of fun and llon
slo gols aII voird and sly, llinks slo doosnl knov aboul
llo ovonl, vondors vlollor sloII gol aIong vill llo poo-
pIo lloro and vlalnol. I romombor somo limo in NYC
vlon I vas aboul lo go lo a parly on a privalo yacll in
llo Hudson Rivor vill a friond. Il vas going lo bo a lo-
laIIy fancy parly, vill somo drop-doad gorgoous poopIo.
In my viov, il vas a no-brainor llal if I invilo somoono
lloyII como. I caIIod up a fomaIo friond vlo Iivod cIoso
by and loId lor lo como ovor. Al rsl, slo aclod roaIIy
pricoy saying, I donl knov, I am roaIIy lirod. In my
load, I vas, Iiko, roaIIy`! I askod lor onco moro, bul slo
aclod pricoy again so I llougll, Iuck il. Bul suddonIy,
vlon I loId lor, OK. Donl como, slo says, Okay, I viII
como bul Im doing llis onIy for you and you ovo mo for
llis! I lavo lad somo frionds loII mo simiIar slil vloro
lloy ask somo girI oul for a movio, and for no parlicuIar
11
roason slo viII acl roaIIy pricoy and oxpocl llal llo guy
viII ask lor oul lvo or llroo limos boforo slo viII say yos.
In lloso silualions you can bo porsislonl and ils quilo pos-
sibIo llal llo girI viII como around Ialor bul ils aIso lo-
laIIy no if you llougll, Iuck llis. I donl vanl lo doaI
vill llis slil andmovodon. YoupIayodyour parl, andil
lakos lvo lo lango. Yos, villoxporionco youcansonso bol-
lor vlal llo girI vanls and lurn lloso casos around. Hov-
ovor, you can onIy Iifl so mucl of llo voigll slo slouId
bo Iifling. Tlis is of courso no oxcuso for you lo nol pIay
your parl, bul a Iol of llo limos il roaIIy isnl your fauIl
and lloro is onIy so mucl you can do.
Coming back lo llo originaI poinl, vlonovor somo dudo
loIIs youllal youlavo lo Iislon androIalo vill llo girI, nol
mako lor appoar Iiko a sIul, guro oul lor Iogislics, lry lo
undorsland vlal slo Iikos, loxl lor al llo rigll limo vlon
slo is froo, connocl vill lor omolionaIIy, organizo an in-
lorosling dalo, koop llo convorsalion fun, bo porsislonl bul
nol bo cIingy, bo aggrossivo bul donl croop lor oul, mako
slalomonls and donl ask quoslions, croalo an us vibo
llon, soriousIy, if you donl vanl lo, llon jusl forgol aboul
il. If llo girI is nol pIaying lor parl, lloro is onIy so mucl
you can do.
So noxl limo, donl bollor so mucl aboul boing smooll.
Donl pul so mucl prossuro on yoursoIf. Donl bollor
vlollor ils an approprialo limo lo ask lor oul or vlollor
you slouId laIk somo moro vill lor. SlouId I organizo a
coffoo dalo or is il okay lo slraigll caII lor ovor for a movio
al my pIaco` Is il okay lo jusl loxl loy, vlals up lov
you doing or slouId I como up vill somolling cIovor`
RoaIIy, llis is jusl anollor form of suppIicaling lo vomon.
Do your bil, i.o. inilialo convorsalions, ask for lor plono
numbor, ask lor oul, mako a movo on a dalo, ask lor lo
como lomo vill you and so on, bul donl vorry aboul bo-
ing smooll or croaling llo porfocl momonl. Il lakos lvo
11
lo lango.
Anollor roIalod poinl is llal in my oxporionco, difcuIl
vomon romain difcuIl. You migll llink, Okay, Iols
pursuo llis girI for a vliIo ovon if I donl roaIIy vanl lo
bocauso maybo, aflor a vliIo, slo viII bo aII normaI and
oasygoing! Transformalions Iiko llal usuaIIy donl lap-
pon. IIoaso donl llink llal Im a misogynisl. I donl lalo
vomon. Im jusl saying llo lrull vlon I say llal you can
onIy do so mucl. You canl Iifl aII llo voigll vlicl slo is
supposod lo. AIso, pIoaso slop roading soduclion commu-
nily vobsilos llal rofor lo cIuoIoss mon as nords or gooks
bocauso lloros an impIiod assumplion llal vomon roaIIy
knovvlal lloy aro doing. Bul llo lrull is lloy aro jusl as
cIuoIoss as guys, if nol moro.
116
There is Much More to
Life than Women
I novor undorslood vly, in a communily of poopIo vlo
promolo soIf-improvomonl and llo goaI of boing llo
bosl man you can bo, somolov mosl llings ollor llan
vomon lako a backsoal. Tloro aro IIAs Iiko D} Iuji vlo
say llal lloy mado a Iol of monoy andvoro soIf-mado poo-
pIo, sorvod in llo marinos and vlalnol, and yol lloy foIl
lorribIo bocauso lloy voronl golling vomon. I do suspocl
llal llo accompIislmonls aro omboIIislod, bul llo poinl
romains.
Or Iook al Rooslvlo ropoalodIy slalodllal lo doosnl un-
dorsland vly poopIo bocomo doclors and Iavyors. Roosl
doosnl ovon gol Iaid mucl limsoIf, dospilo lrying vory
lard. Yol, lo boIiovos llal jusl bocauso lo gols Iaid loro
and lloro vill somo poor girI in a llird-vorId counlry
dospilo nol laving any profossionaI acliovomonls, lo is
somolovsuporior lo guys vlovo buslodlloir ass in lloir
closon profossion. Somo guys gIorify llo pursuil of pussy
lo sucl an oxlonl llal lloy nogIocl mainlaining a normaI
sociaI Iifo and improving lloir profossionaI skiIIs. I ro-
mombor roading on somo IIA vobsilo llal if you aro a
doclor, Iavyor or bankor bul donl gol many vomon, llon
ils vorll quilling llal caroor and svilcling lo a slilly job
llal givos you moro oxibiIily, jusl so llal you lavo moro
11;
limo lo gol llis aroa of your Iifo landIod. Tlo slupidily
is boyond boIiof.
Horo is my lypollosis aboul lov llis aII vorks: Imagino
a guy vlo maybo vanls lo gol Iaid moro oflon, bul is oll-
orviso no, or somoono vlo jusl noodod lo mako somo
minor clangos in lis Iifo. Ho couId go oul a fov limos
and mako nov frionds, bul los aIso ovor-vorkod in lis
job. If a guy Iiko llal slumbIos upon somo IIA vobsilo,
lo may bo lomplod lo llink llal llo roason lo is unlappy
is nol bocauso lis vork-Iifo baIanco is slilly, or bocauso
lo nds IillIo inlrinsic vaIuo in lis profossion, bul bocauso
los nol golling clicks. Boing somovlal ambilious, jusl
golling girIs isnl onougl. SuddonIy, ils supposod lo bo
aboul modoIs and slrippors. Ho roads somo moro, and
llinks lo las unIockod llis amazing socrol nobody oIso
around lim knovs aboul.
To pul llings inlo praclico, lo goos oul and gols slol
dovn ovor and ovor. Tlis makos limfooI ovon vorso, bul
lo gols loId lo jusl pul moro limo inlo llis. IoopIo loII lim
lo buy obooks and DVD sols, and lo gol moro invoIvod.
LvonluaIIy, lo slarls associaling limsoIf vill ollor slupid
fucks on llo Inlornol and in roaI Iifo, Iiko in IIA Iairs.
Sinco lis sparo limo is Iimilod, lo soos lis normaI frionds
Ioss oflon and llus bocomos ovon Ioss lappy. Tlo manlras
lis IIA frionds clanl onIy roinforcos llal vomon aro llo
koy lo absoIuloIy ovorylling in Iifo.
Hovovor, nolling couId bo furllor from llo lrull. I llink
llal if vo aro nol ongagod in somolling inlorosling for
an oxlondod poriod of limo, vo invariabIy ond up fooIing
bad aboul oursoIvos. Bul ils jusl an unspociod fooIing.
Al llis poinl, llougl, somo poopIo viII llink llal lloy
aro unlappy nol bocauso lloy donl do anylling inlor-
osling vill lloir Iifo bul bocauso lloy aronl golling any
vomon. Ollors donl obsoss aboul golling Iaid bul aboul
a Iack of frionds or monoy, or somolling oIso. Tloy bo-
118
Iiovo llal if lloy voro onIy ricl, or lad moro frionds, or if
lloir mommy or daddy lad slovod moro affoclion vlon
lloy voro kids, llon lloy vouId bo lappior. Somo obsoss
ovor plysicaI allribulos. Wlalovor il is, onco llo silua-
lion rosoIvos ilsoIf llrougl vlalovor roasons, il viII nol
Iifl your mood pormanonlIy. YouII ond up fooIing jusl as
bad aboul yoursoIf onco llo ligl voars off.
Tlo onIy soIulion is lo clango your Iifo vloro il counls.
Iol mo jusl go llrougl a fov llings llal roaIIy do lavo a
lromondous impacl on your Iifo. My goaI is lo poinl oul
llal lloro is a Iol moro lo Iifo llan vomon. Tloroforo, bo-
foro youdocido lo fuIIy commil lo pickup, youmigll vanl
lo considor llal lloro aro ollor vays lo spond your limo,
and mucl moro bonociaI onos.
Tlo rsl ono is vorking oul. I lavo boon a skinny-fal por-
son mosl of my Iifo: no muscIos, skinny, yol quilo a bil of
body fal. I novor pIayod sporls, nor did I oxorciso. My
diolary labils voro absurdIy bad. As I gol inlo my mid
zos, I slarlod laving Iovor back pains, and lad vory Iov
onorgy IovoIs, moaning llal I gol lirod oasiIy. Hovovor,
onco I soriousIy slarlod vorking oul, aII lloso probIoms
disappoarod. Novadays I Iook bollor llan ovor. I lavo
moro onorgy, and my back pains aro a lling of llo pasl.
Lducalion and ompIoyabiIily aro vory imporlanl. Golling
inlo a lop univorsily las lad a profound impacl on my
Iifo. Tlo brand namo of my univorsily mado il oasy for
mo lo gol a good job and lo mako connoclions. Wlon I
vas raising capilaI for my company il loIpod a Iol, loo.
}usl dropping llo namo of my alma mater makos il oasy lo
slarl convorsalions in corlain circIos, and lloso poopIo aro
mucl nicor lo mo. I aIso lavo a slrong nolvork of aIumni
llal loIps mo IiloraIIy aII around llo vorId. AII of llis ap-
pIios lo laving a groal job, loo. If you aro associalod vill
a rospoclod company, many palls viII bo opon lo you.
11q
Work and oducalion aro nol ovorylling oillor. Having a
lobby you dodicalo yoursoIf lo can bo vory fuIIIing as
voII. Ior inslanco, I onjoy baIIroom dancing. Anyvloro
I go, no mallor if ils a difforonl cily or a difforonl coun-
lry, lloro viII bo a group of poopIo vlo slaro my inlorosl.
Tlus, I nol onIy lavo fun dancing, il aIso aIIovs mo lo oas-
iIy mako frionds and mool vomon anyvloro in llo vorId.
Ivo boon in counlrios vloro I didnl spoak llo IocaI Ian-
guago, bul vas abIo lo mako frionds villin a day or lvo
jusl llrougl mooling poopIo al a danco ovonl.
I do nol como from a priviIogod famiIy background. Tlo
onIy roason I lavo lad many groal oxporioncos in my Iifo
is bocauso I vorkod lard al vlal I fooI lo bo fundamonlaI
aspocls of Iifo. IronicaIIy, a vloIo buncl of guys vlo I
gol lo knovllrougl llo yoars vloso primo concorn voro
llo vomon in lloir Iifo, or llo Iack lloroof, voronl doing
quilo as voII as mo, lo pul il miIdIy. I lavo nov dono a Iol
of groal llings in Iifo, and I lavo boon vill moro llan a
fov vomon. Yol, I corlainIy vouIdnl counl any of lloso
vomon among llo lon groalosl oxporioncos I ovor lad in
Iifo.
AroIalod issuo is llal onco you slarl golling somo vomon,
you discovor ollor issuos. Al rsl you may nol bo lappy
bocauso you onIy gol a girI onco in a bIuo moon. Tlon
you viII llink your girIs aro nol boaulifuI onougl, and
if lloy aro, lloy donl lavo a pIoasanl porsonaIily. Somo
may bo bad in bod, so you donl ovon vanl lo lavo sox
vill llom ovor again. Wlal I can aIso loII you from my
porsonaI oxporionco is llal boing in a lorribIo roIalionslip
is inniloIy vorso llan boing singIo.
Onco you aro ongagod vill somolling inlorosling in your
Iifo, vlicl may bo somolling oIso llan pussy, llon your
fooIings of IonoIinoss, unlappinoss or inadoquacy viII au-
lomalicaIIy disappoar. Tloso days, I am vorking on my
slarl-up and I am nol inloroslod al aII in doaIing vill any
1zo
buIIslil from vomon. I mucl rallor spond limo on my
vork bocauso ils so oxciling lo mo. In facl, I lavo novor
boon so lappy and oxcilod as in llo pasl fov monlls of
my Iifo and I onIy gol Iaid a fov limos in llo Iasl fov
monlls. Tloy voro aII ono-nigll slands I didnl bollor
caIIing againbocauso my limo is bollor sponl onsomolling
oIso.
1z1
1zz
Farewell
1z
I lavo said ovorylling I vanlod lo say, and I am ofciaIIy
pullinganondlo llis. I couIdof courso koopvriling aboul
random sluff, bul llal aIso goos fundamonlaIIy againsl
vlal I boIiovo, namoIy llal you donl nood mucl sluff.
Ior qq porconl of poopIo, if you jusl vonl aload and foI-
Iovod llo advico in llis book, you vonl nood mucl bo-
yond llal. Ior any furllor advico, Aaron SIoazys bIog
and lis forum aro mucl moro llan onougl.
Tloro is ono poinl vliclI vanl lo mako lo poopIo vlo sliII
aclivoIy road soduclion bIogs. IIoaso undorsland llal you
donl nood llal mucl lloory, nor do you nood a pIollora
of idoas. A fov koy idoas aro aII you nood. Boyond llal,
you jusl lavo lo go oul and do sluff. ConslanlIy roading
IIA bIogs doosnl roaIIy loIp and is acluaIIy jusl lurlfuI.
Tloro las aIso boon a clango in my Iifo. I quil my job and
Im buiIding my ovn company nov. Going forvard, I
vanl lo spond mosl of my limo on llal and nol on any
soduclion-roIalod sluff. I migll sliII posl ovory nov and
llononSIoazys forumbul llals aboul il. Ior anyono vlo
lasnl road llrougl llal yol, I canl rocommond il onougl.
I am vory lappy llal I slarlod my bIog, and ovon proudor
vlon I Iook al llis book. Many poopIo lavo loId mo llal
lloy Iiko my vriling and gol a Iol of vaIuo oul of il. I aIso
llink llal I lavo aIroady slarod a Iargo quanlily of vlal-
ovor I vanlod lo vrilo aboul.
Tloro is jusl ono roquosl I vanl lo mako lo llo roadors of
llis book: IIoaso do vrilo aboul your oxporioncos lon-
oslIy somovloro, bo il jusl ono or lvo posls on a forum
vloro you can posl crilicaI arlicIos, or a dodicalod bIog. Il
doosnl ovon mallor if you lavonl acliovod aII your dal-
ing goaIs yol. In facl, if you lavonl acliovod your dal-
ing goaIs, dospilo Iofly promisos of somo randomInlornol
daling coacl, llon caII llom oul on lloir buIIslil. Ior in-
slanco, if youvo approaclod 1,ooo vomon bul vill IillIo
1z
succoss, llon donl Iol somo guru loII you llal youvo im-
provod your innor gamo or somo ollor buIIslil. Tloro
aro loo many non-Iogil daling coaclos oul lloro on llo
Inlornol, non-slop clurning oul garbago, and llo daling
advico vorId couId corlainIy uso moro Iogil poopIo, and
somo lonosl voicos.
Will aII llal said, adios guys.
1z6
Appendix by Aaron
Sleazy
1z;
Why Cold Approaching
is Pretty Much Useless
Ono of llo basic idoas of llo pickup communily is llo no-
cossily of coId approaclos. You oasiIy gol llo impros-
sion llal anylling oIso doosnl roaIIy counl. RoaI IIAs
lavo lo go llrougl lundrods of rojoclions boforo lloy -
naIIy gol lo onjoy llo fruils of lloir Iabor. Tlis is al Ioasl
as llo slarod mylloIogy goos. In llo foIIoving Im going
lo slov you vly llo concopl of coId approacling is mis-
Ioading. IIoaso koop your pilclfork in llo barn, bocauso
if you road on vill an opon mind, you viII nol onIy Ioarn
somolling aboul aboul maIo-fomaIo inloraclions. You viII
aIso undorsland vly, as guys gain moro oxporionco, lloir
balling avorago oflon goos up signicanlIy. No, il is nol
bocauso lloir gamo gol bollor. Ils somolling oIso.
Doponding on llo amounl of communily brainvasling
you lavo undorgono, il may bo lard for you lo svaIIov
llal succoss duo lo a gonuinoIy coId approacl doos nol
oxisl. Il is onIy duo lo ignoring or misinlorproling sociaI
cuos llal a guy llinks lo gol Iaid off a coId approacl. IooI
froo lo disagroo vill mo Ialor, bul pIoaso roadon, andcaro-
fuIIy considor my poinl. In llo ond, you may nd llal you
agroo vill mo.
I romombor an oxclango vill a commorciaI pickup coacl
1zq
in llo commonl soclion of my bIog. I lad boon mocking a
rallor lragic claraclor of llo soduclion induslry for vasl-
ing lis limo roaming llo slrools in lis novor-onding soarcl
for pussy. Succoss is nol a friond of lis. In llo vidoos llis
guy posls, il is cIoar lo soo llal llo vomon normaIIy aronl
inloroslod al aII and aro onIy poIilo lo lim. Tlo ollor as-
pocl I poinlod oul vas llo absurd amounl of limo sarg-
ing lakos. I mol a landfuI of slrool gamors vlo aII loId
mo llal lloir acluaI convorsion ralo lloir lorminoI-
ogy, nol mino vas rallor Iov.
IauI }anka, vlo is corlainIy compolonl in day gamo, says
llal lo las sox vill aboul 1oof llo vomon vloso num-
bor lo gols. If youvo paid allonlion in middIo sclooI, you
can doduco from llis llal llo acluaI succoss ralo is ovon
Iovor sinco nol aII llo vomon lo approaclos viII givo
lim lloir numbor. No, I do nol vanl lo basl }anka. I
donl knov vlal los boon up lo roconlIy, bul my viov
of lim is llal lo boIongs lo llo vory, vory fov lonosl dal-
ing coaclos on llis pIanol. }usl koop llo guro in mind for
llo foIIoving parl.
Of courso, lloro aro vays lo inlogralo coId approacling
inlo your daiIy Iifo, so llal il comos al virluaIIy zoro cosl.
Bul onco youfroo uplimo inyour scloduIo lo sargo HBs,
llo silualion is mucl Ioss favorabIo. I monlionod a pickup
coacl vlo commonlod on my bIog boforo. Ho said somo-
lling Iiko, You may bo rigll in gonoraI, bul vlal if you
lavo onougl limo for slrool gamo` Tlis is a nonsonsicaI
objoclion. You may llink llal you can lako oul ono or lvo
lours a day for slrool gamo and laIk lo girIs vlo, for llo
vory mosl parl, viII givo you no indicalion llal lloy lavo
any inlorosl in you. Tlals of courso bocauso lloy donl
lavo any. I donl caro lov good Iooking you llink you
aro mosl girIs viII jusl nol bo inloroslod in you, and in
mo noillor. To incroaso your odds, you couId lloroforo do
somolling vill your limo you roaIIy onjoy. SuroIy lloro
1o
is somolling llals moro compoIIing llan golling rojoclod
by ono girI aflor anollor in slrools or slopping maIIs.
Tlo aIlornalivo is lo pursuo a sociaI aclivily llal aIIovs
you lo oasiIy mool vomon vill vlom you lavo somo-
lling in common vill. Tlis viII inslanlIy lurn coId ap-
proaclos inlo varm approaclos. Iols jusl comparo lvo
poopIo: Iolo IIA and Clris Common-Sonso. Iolo says lo
Clris, Dudo, youro sucl a Iosor. You do gay slil Iiko
yoga and dancing, vliIo I pickup clicks on llo slrools
ovory day. Bul vlal doos Clris acluaIIy do` Ho onjoys
yoga and nd llal il lonos lis body nicoIy. Bocauso lo ox-
coIs al il, lloro aro pIonly of lol girIs around vlo aro al
llo vory Ioasl curious aboul lim. Il sooms llal somo gay
slil Iiko maslory of llo crano poso gols lim dalos, and
somolimos Iaid.
Iurllor, Clris Iikos music, ospociaIIy lango. SaIsa is nol
roaIIy lis lling, so lo doosnl go lloro. Bul vlal lappons
al a lypicaI lango cIass` Clris normaIIy nds llal lloro
aro aboul lvo girIs for ovory guy, llal llo girIs lavo on
avorago moro cIass llan your random girI in a slopping
maII. Lvon bollor is llal somo of llo vomon in lis cIass
indood soom lo bo aclivoIy Iooking.
If you nov llink, SIoazy, youro jusl making llis up! I
lavo lo loII youllal Imnol. I lavo sponl aboul llroo yoars
doing yoga, and I can loII you llal il is indood fairIy oasy
lo laIk lo llo girIs lloro. YoubasicaIIy jusl lavo lo go lloro.
Of courso, llis onIy vorks if you go lo yoga cIass bocauso
you Iiko yoga, and nol, Iiko your lypicaI IIA croop, lo lil
on girIs. Dancing cIassos aro jusl as oxcoIIonl a vonuo lo
mool girIs vlo aIroady lavo somolling in common vill
you, bul I vonl boro you vill llo dolaiIs as il is jusl Iiko
vill yoga. Lvon bollor is llal you gol lo knovllo girIs on
a plysicaI IovoI. }usl llink of aII llo kino you couId do,
bro!
11
WliIo Iolo IIA sponds mucl moro limo sarging HBs,
lis acluaI succoss ralo viII bo fairIy Iov. In llo vorsl caso,
lo is Iiko your avorago IIA and aII llo numbors lurn oul
lo ako. His buddy Clris, on llo ollor land, mools girIs
IiloraIIy as an addodbonus lo loning inlorosling skiIIs and
slaying in slapo. Aflor ono yoar lo can probabIy slarl
llinking aboul dancing lango compolilivoIy. On llo ollor
land, lis buddy is al a risk of golling an accounl for Zan
Iorrionss Ars Amaloria forum, vloro lo canvrilo llal lo
las gollon ono dalo oul of aboul a llousand approaclos,
bul llal aII is no bocauso lo onjoyod making llo girIs fooI
dosirod. (I visl Id mako llis up.)
Iol mo doaI vill llo objoclions I prosumo somo of youviII
lavo.
1) SIoazy, you buiIl your ropulalion as a cIub gamor. Tlis
vas nolling bul coId approacling! And donl loII mo you
Iikod lloso pIacos!!
Indood, I did onjoy llo nigll cIubs I vonl lo. I Iovod llo
music, llo crovd, andllo ambionco. Will vory fovoxcop-
lions I did slay avay from mainslroam cIubs. As poopIo
vlo vanl lo gol inlo somo of my oId langouls vook af-
lor vook nolico, llo door man is indood an obslacIo and
llo palrons aro carofuIIy soIoclod. Tlis vas lruo for llo
indio/oIoclro scono in Iondon, and lo a Iossor oxlonl il is
lruo for llo loclno scono in BorIin. If llo guy al llo door
doosnl Iiko you, you donl gol in. Bul fooI froo lo clock
oul somo mainslroam vonuo insload.
Hovovor, poopIo vlo oillor donl go oul roguIarIy or vlo
go oul indiscriminaloIy donl roaIizo llal llo guys al llo
door donl rojocl poopIo randomIy. Tloy onIy loII you lo
lako a liko if you donl l inlo llo crovd. Yos, lloros loo
many guys insido and sorry, voro fuII aro jusl oxcusos
lo aIIovyou lo savo faco. Wlon I vas onco vaIking dovn
lo ono of my favourilo valoring loIos in Solo in Iondon,
1z
and, aflor considorabIo limo in llo quouo, llougll I vas
aboul lo gol in, llo door guy puIIod mo asido and vlis-
porod, }usl slay loro for a vliIo. Woro a bil packod rigll
nov. Soconds Ialor, lo vas loIIing llo noxl buncl of poo-
pIo llo samo oId oxcusos. Yos, I ovonluaIIy gol in and I
lad a bIasl. Tlo lako-avay mossago is: If you l in, youII
gol in, and if you gol in, you prolly mucl lavo a slamp of
approvaI on your foroload, and viII normaIIy nd il oasy
lo laIk lo llo poopIo.
z) Bul dudo, coId approacling vorks. Il roaIIy doos! I
jusl lad a dalo Iasl vook, aflor lilling on q8 girIs in a rov.
And jusl oarIior loday, I gol sovon moro numbors.
As I said abovo, llo succoss ralos for gonuino coId ap-
proaclos aro vory Iov. Of courso, somolimos youII gol
a girI, and if you aro Harvard-oducalod, and as oIoquonl
andlandsomo as IauI }anka, youmay ondupbanging lon
porconl of aII llo girIs vloso numbor you gol. Hovovor,
as you gol moro oxporionco in gonoraI, your ralio slouId
improvo. Tlis is nol bocauso you gol bollor al gamo bul
bocauso you Ioarn lo road signaIs bollor and lloroforo fo-
cus on girIs vlo soom lo bo rocoplivo. Tlus, you skip aII
llo quoslionabIo coId approaclos. Tlis is llo lrull bolind
coId approaclos. To lako a pago oul of llo markoling book
of IIAs, llis is indood ono of llo lrulls IIAs donl vanl
you lo knov.
Tlo roason vly you may nov llink llal your gamo is
doconl and llal you convorl x porconl of your coId ap-
proaclos is jusl llal you canl yol road signaIs proporIy
and lloroforo indiscriminaloIy approacl vomon. WliIo
you run llo samo gamo on ovory girI, you jusl lappon
lo occasionaIIy bump inlo ono llal lappons lo Iiko you
for vlalovor roason. Sinco you aro moro concornod vill
your gamo llan lor roaclion lo your prosonco, you may
miss llal slo lad boon gIancing ovor llroo limos aIroady.
Boing bIind lo llo obvious, you llink llal gamo gol you
1
llo girI. Hovovor, vill a moro porcoplivo oyo, youd lavo
lo do onIy a fraclion of llo approaclos lo lavo llo samo
numbor of posilivo rosponsos.
AII of llis doosnl moan llal youII nov suddonIy gol ov-
ory girI, bul by focussing on girIs you lavo somolling in
common vill and vlo aro polonliaIIy inloroslod, youII
do a Iol bollor. Hock, maybo pickup viII ovon slarl lo bo-
como fun for you, insload of boing a sourco of conslanl
fruslralion. Tlo varm approaclos gol you llo girIs. Your
coId approaclos gol you baroIy anylling, and llo IillIo
you gol fooIs Iiko vork, bocauso il is vork. }usl llink of aII
llo slil losls you lavo lo pIov llrougl. In compar-
ison, imagino youd insload bo laIking lo a voman vlo
llougll, Hm I vondor vlo llal guy is!
1
Fear of Rejection
Ioar of rojoclion is a slrango subjocl. A big parl of llo
mossago of llo soduclion induslry is llal you slouId lrain
yoursoIf lo bocomo immuno lo rojoclion. Tlis is vly you
aro supposod lo do varmup approaclos and go for llo
lardosl sols sucl as vomon vlo aro doop in convorsa-
lion or lloso vlo aro oul vill a guy llal migll voII bo
lloir boyfriond or lusband. Somo communily guys gol
badIy boalon up bocauso somo mon lavo a fairIy Iov loI-
oranco vlon somoono larassos lloir signicanl ollor.
Your roIuclanco lo approacl vomon in sucl silualions is
a naluraI rosponso. You vouId lavo lo knov vory Iil-
lIo aboul sociaI inloraclions if you boIiovod llal ils okay
lo approacl vomon vlo givo ovory indicalion llal lloy
donl vanl lo bo dislurbod. Yol, IIAs loII you llal you
lavo lo ro-lrain yoursoIf. Hovovor, if you onIy ovor ap-
proacl random girIs vlo briskIy vaIk dovn llo slrool lo
calcl llo noxl subvay, llon youII aIvays fooI Iiko an in-
lrudor. Lvon if you manago lo smollor your monlaI voico,
you viII onIy lurn inlo llo kind of claraclor you corlainIy
donl vanl lo bo.
Willsomo modicumof sociaI skiII youvouIdnl ovoncon-
sidor posloring vomon vlo soom busy. As I vrolo in
llo provious claplor, coId approacling random vomon,
ospociaIIy in losliIo onvironmonls Iiko a busy slrool, is a
rallor quoslionabIo pursuil. Al llo vory Ioasl, mako suro
1
llal lloro is somo commonaIily or llal llo crovd las oi-
llor boon soIoclod or is soIf-soIocling. Ior inslanco, go-
ing lo smaII indio-rock cIubs vloro poopIo gallor lo onjoy
a parlicuIar kind of music aro a bollor onvironmonl llan
Iargo cIubs llal lry lo appoaI lo a broad audionco and llus
canl bo loo slricl al llo door. In an onvironmonl llal is
conducivo lo mooling vomon, or al llo vory Ioasl nol los-
liIo, you slouIdnl lavo any ralionaI roason lo bo afraid
of approacling vomon vlo soom inloroslod. Tlis vouId
lako caro of your foar of approacling lo somo dogroo, if
nol IargoIy oIiminalo il.
If you Iack soxuaI oxporionco, you may fooI uncomforlabIo
vlon youro making a movo and, say, lako llo land of a
girI, or kiss lor, or ovon vlon youro jusl aboul lo vaIk
up lo lor bocauso slo vas smiIing al you. Tlis is a nal-
uraI and loaIlly roaclion bocauso il moans llal you aro
nol somo souIIoss approacl maclino bul a roaI luman bo-
ing. Indood, fooIing a bil oxcilod vlon vaIking up lo an
allraclivo voman normaIIy makos you moro allraclivo lo
lor as voII sinco sloII nolico llal slo is nol jusl anollor
randomgirI for you lo lil on. As many oxporioncod IIAs
can loII you, vomon oflon slool llom dovn immodialoIy
bocauso ils obvious lo llom llal lloy aro moroIy going
llrougl llo molions and Iack any kind of oxcilomonl or
parlicuIar inlorosl. If youvo dono pubIic spoaking you
may knov llal ovon vill somo oxporionco you may sliII
gol a bil norvous oacl limo, bul as soon as you slarl lo
laIk, llis aII subsidos. Ils quilo simiIar vlon approacling
vomon and you slouIdnl llink llal you lavo lo Ioso aII
omolionaIily if you vanl lo bocomo procionl al llis.
WaIking up lo a voman vlo sooms inloroslod, or al Ioasl
opon lo mooling nov poopIo, is onIy parl of llo ballIo.
LvonluaIIy youviII lavo lo soxuaIIy oscaIalo llo silualion.
Tlis migll moan laking lor land, loucling lor, making
oul, and naIIy laving sox vill lor. An issuo I soo vill
16
somo mon is llal lloy aro vory proud of llomsoIvos vlon
lloro is an allraclivo voman llal is viIIing lo spond limo
vill llom. Slo may Iaugl al your jokos in llo bar and
accidonlaIIy loucl you, and slo may ovon go on a fov
dalos vill you. Hovovor, bocauso lloso guys novor mako
a movo, lloy oillor ond up in llo droadod friond zono
or llo voman viII ovonluaIIy slop rolurning lloir caIIs.
Tlo probIom vill lloso guys is llal lloy donl vanl lo
Ioso vlal lloy aIroady lavo. Tloy soomlo llink llal lloy
vanl lo soIidify lloir posilion and carofuIIy procood in or-
dor lo nol ruin il. Yol, by vailing, llo vomon viII ovon-
luaIIy Ioso lloir inlorosl. Aflor aII, lloy aro Iooking for a
boyfriond, or a Iovor, or jusl a random ono-nigll sland.
I nd il quilo ironic llal guys vlo aro afraid lo oscaIalo bo-
causo lloy vanl lo avoid rojoclion dramalicaIIy incroaso
lloir clanco of rojoclion. If you ovor nd yoursoIf von-
doring vlollor you slouId mako a movo, llon ils ligl
limo. If you manago lo ovorcomo your foar of soxuaI os-
caIalion, youII nd llal you donl lavo mucl roason lo
vorry aboul your foar of rojoclion anymoro. Tlo roason
is simpIy llal a voman vlo isnl inloroslod in you vouId
nol pul lorsoIf in a posilion vloro you couId gol soxuaI
vill lor. If slo vasnl inloroslod in you, slo vouIdnl
disappoar inlo a dark cornor vill you in llo cIub, slo
vouIdnl go oul on a dalo vill you, and slo corlainIy
vouIdnl como ovor lo your pIaco lo cook or valcl a
movio.
1;
18
Virginity, Schmirginity
I somolimos mool mon vlo lavo no soxuaI oxporionco.
Somo posl on my forum, ollors book plono coacling sos-
sions vill mo. Hovovor, duo lo llo vay I lavo posi-
lionod mysoIf, I lardIy ovor mool llo sloroolypicaI soduc-
lion communily guy vlo vouId lavo lo spond lvo yoars
on llomsoIvos jusl lo sorl oul lloir foundalions. Tloso
normaIIy faII for llo omply promisos of soduclion com-
panios vlo promiso siIvor buIIols. You knovllo driII, ils
aII aboul Hova , Sly, Asian Guy Dalos ModoIs Wlo
Tovor Ovor Him and Can Toacl You To Do Tlo Samo
In Tlroo Slorl Days! Tlis vas lakon vorbalim from llo
vobsilo of IIA D} Iuji.
On llo ollor land, llo guys I loacl aro avaro llal lloso
markoling mossagos aro buIIslil, and llal lloy lavo lo gol
in slapo, dross voII, and vork on lloir sociaI skiIIs rsl.
Tloy aIso knov llal lloy slouId, no mallor lov laII lloy
aro, Iook for girIs vlo aro al mosl lloir loigll and idoaIIy
a bil slorlor. Hoigll pIays an onormous roIo, and if you
vanl lo incroaso your clancos, llon oillor vako up bo-
ing Tom Cruiso or forgol aboul puIIing 6 laII clicks vlon
youro .
Tlon lloy loII mo llal lloro is somolling nobody knovs
aboul llom, namoIy llal lloy aro sliII virgins, and llal llis
is a lugo burdon for llom. Il can bo, bul il doosnl noc-
ossariIy lavo lo bo burdonsomo if you lavo no oulIol for
1q
your sox drivo. Any kind of sociaI prossuro is imaginod,
bocauso nobody knovs llal you aro a virgin. In facl, aflor
llo rsl limo vory IillIo viII clango in your Iifo. IrobabIy
youII como villin a fov slorl momonls or nol al aII, and
you may ovon llink llal il vasnl llal groal. Having sox
is nol somo kind of rilo of passago.
If you aro a condonl and sociaI guy, nobody viII ovon
llink llal you aro a virgin. I vas a Ialo bIoomor mysoIf.
Hovovor, for somo slrango roason I lad a ropulalion of
boing good vill vomon. Tlis vas bocauso I vasnl in-
limidalod by llom and aIso bocauso I lad a vory slrong
prosonco. Tloro voro pIonly of limos vlon ovon somo of
my cIosor frionds voro asking mo for advico aboul girIs.
Tloy sav llal I vas comforlabIo laIking lo girIs, and llus
concIudodllal I vas golling Iaida Iol bul doIiboraloIy kopl
a IovproIo. I lavo loard simiIar slorios fromsomo of llo
guys Ivo vorkod vill.
Ils lolaIIy okay if you vanl lo gain soxuaI oxporionco. Bul
if llis is your goaI, llon jusl focus on il and donl llink
aboul vlal ollors migll llink of you. MaIo virginily is
a sociaI clion, and llo girIs vonl bo abIo lo loII. If you
como loo oarIy, llon you voro loo oxcilod, vlicl somo
girIs may ovon nd alloring. On llo ollor land, if you
canl como al aII bul poundavay for a Iong limo, slo prob-
abIy vonl compIain oillor. AIso, if you lavo an issuo nol
golling il up and llis is nol jusl roIalod lo maIo virgins
llon mosl girIs viII bo undorslanding as voII. Suro,
you can carry somo Viagra piIIs in your pockol if you fooI
llo nood. Bul if you donl vanl lo, and I corlainIy donl
oncourago poopIo lo lako so-caIIod Iibido onlancors, llon
youII bo no as voII.
IrobabIy ovory girI vill jusl a modicum of soxuaI oxpori-
onco lad il lappon llal llo guy couIdnl gol lard onougl
for ponolralion. So vlal` Slos usod lo il, slo may undor-
sland llal you aro lirod, and if slo Iacks condonco, vlicl
1o
is common among vomon, llon slo may ovon llink llal
ils lor fauIl and mako oxcusos. RoIax, man! Mosl vomon
lavo mucl Ioss sox llan you llink and viII cul you somo
sIack. Somo viII ovon mako food for you and aIIov you
lo rosl, loping for a propor sox sossion llo noxl morning.
IaslIy, lo roaIIy poinl oul llo absurdily of maIo virgin-
ily: imagino lloro vas a big sugar drink brand, and lloy
slarlod a $zoom advorlising campaign vill sIogans Iiko,
Havo you dono il aIroady` AII your frionds lavo. Ils
buiIl around llo concopl of sugarinily. Sinco aII llo poo-
pIo around you aro brainvaslod, lloy buy lloso drinks
in drovos and vanl lo guro oul vlollor ollors lavo Iosl
lloir sugarinily as voII aIroady. Hock, lloy ovon loaso oll-
ors vlo say llal lloy aro nol llal inloroslod in il, or vlo
soomlo bo loo mucl inlo organic foods. Tlon lloy lurn lo
you and vondor... Bul vlal can lloy doduco` Aflor aII,
lloro is no plysicaI clango al aII. Ior aII lloy knov, you
couId drink llal sluff socrolIy. Bul imagino you voro vory
insocuro and liglIy suscoplibIo lo advorlising, and couId
no Iongor sland your sugarinily!
Tlis is a nonsonsicaI sconario. Givon lov somo fads go,
and sooing vlal kind of nonsonso calclos on in socioly,
I donl ovon llink ils llal absurd. Tloro is aIvays a nov
in-lling, and many fooI a Iol of sociaI prossuro lo conform.
Ils ovon moro amusing sinco lloso poopIo donl ovon ro-
aIizo llal llo iniliaI markoling mossago vas onliroIy arli-
ciaI. Of courso, sox drivo is roaI. Hovovor, poopIo can
noillor smoII llal you aro a virgin, nor is your numbor
of soxuaI parlnors vrillon on your foroload. So jusl roIax
and vork on improving your Iifo, if you fooI llal a Iack
of soxuaI opporlunilios is a probIomfor you. Sox isnl llal
fabuIous anyvay. Suro, ils nico, bul il las IillIo lo do vill
llo imago convoyod in somo movios or lov ollors migll
laIk aboul il. Ils yol anollor pIoasanl slimuIus, bul il cor-
lainIy slouIdnl guido your Iifo.
11
1z
Women Cannot Read
Your Mind
Inoxporioncod mon aro oflon vorriod llal lloir inoxpori-
onco is visibIo and llal vomon viII bo abIo lo quickIy spol
llis. I can assuro you llal is absoIuloIy nol llo caso. In
llo provious claplor I gavo you somo good juslicalion
for llis roasoning, bul Iol mo roIay somo anocdolos from
my porsonaI oxporionco.
Ior a coupIo of yoars I lavo boon soxuaIIy vory aclivo, bo-
foro I sollIod dovn and naIIy marriod. Yol, il vas parl
of my Iifo lo soo lvo lo llroo girIs simuIlanoousIy, in ad-
dilion lo ono nigll slands on llo vookond. I aIso quickIy
ropIacod llo vomon I vas in a casuaI roIalionslip vill.
My modoI of oslabIisling soxuaI roIalionslips vas basod
on llo idoa of golling inlimalo vory quickIy, nding oul
vlollor lloro is soxuaI compalibiIily, and llon soo lov
far boll of you vanl lo lako llis. I oillor lad sox llo samo
nigll, or al llo vory Ialosl on llo rsl dalo.
Wlal I lavo nolicod is llal quilo a fovvomon aro curious
aboul your soxuaI lislory, bul llis may lavo boon bocauso
I vas moving so fasl. I normaIIy ignorod lloso quoslions,
bocauso I am aIso nol parlicuIarIy inloroslod in llo soxuaI
lislory of llo girI. Ils quilo random anyvay. Hovovor,
onco a girI askod mo, I loId lor lonoslIy llal I lavonl
1
boon vory oxporioncod and vas curronlIy in llo procoss of
calcling up. Slo llon Iookod al mo for a momonl or lvo,
and llon slo ropIiod, Do you knov vlal` By llo vay
you acl il is lolaIIy obvious llal you lavonl boon vill
many vomon. I llon cIariod llal I lavo boon vill a
fairIy Iargo numbor of girIs, so slo clangod lor slalomonl
lo, SliII, I can fooI llal you lavonl boon vill vomon for
a long time.
I found llis quilo amusing. You knov, vomon soom lo
vanl lo losl llo valors and if you aro soomingIy loo con-
donl, somo lry lo undormino your condonco. I donl
quilo rocaII lovoflon I savllal girI, bul givon llal I lavo
no dislincl momory, il vas probabIy llo usuaI lvo lo llroo
limos. Anyvay, I mado a monlaI nolo lo oxporimonl and
soo lovollor vomon vouId roacl. Il didnl lako Iong un-
liI I puIIod anollor girI lomo. Sox vas good and slo vas
prolly cooI, so I Iol lor slay ovor. Wo lung oul for a vliIo
aflor a Ialo broakfasl. As I vas vaIking lor lo llo lramsla-
lion, slo said, Can I ask you somolling` Slo procoodod
lo ask mo vill lovmany girIs Ivo boon vill, bocauso slo
lad novor oncounlorod a guy vlo vas moving so quickIy.
I loId lor llal I lad Iosl counl of il. Slo smiIod and said
llal slo llougll somolling Iiko llal. Do you nolico llo
pallorn` I kopl doing my A/B losls, and il lurnod oul llal
basicaIIy no mallor vlal I said, llo vomon vouId basi-
caIIy cIaim llal il vas vrillon aII ovor mo. Novor lavo
I loard, Ol, I lolaIIy road you vrong. I onco cIaimod
llal I lad boon in a Iong-lorm roIalionslip for a docado,
and llal slo lad boon my rsl ono-nigll sland. Of courso
llon my oxporionco and malurily voro lolaIIy obvious
and somolling slo couId jusl fooI vlon I vas approacl-
ing lor.
Dospilo mylls porpolualod in llo mass modia, vomon ro-
aIIy aronl llal groal al roading ollor poopIo. Al bosl, lloy
aro marginaIIy bollor llan your avorago guy, and I vouId
1
ovon doubl llal. Tloir oflon-loulod psycloIogicaI compo-
lonco primariIy sloms from roading vomons magazinos,
and laking mado-up psycloIogicaI losls soriousIy. Il doos
foods lloir ogo, andbocauso manyvomonlako lloso quos-
lionnairos soriousIy, lloy lond lo viov sociaI inloraclions
in a grossIy simpIislic mannor. }usl imagino you landod
oul a muIlipIo cloico aIgobra quiz llal lad no vrong an-
svors. Tlo biggosl morons vouId vaIk avay, llinking
lloy lavo maslorod llo subjocl. Womons magazinos aro
on llal IovoI. }usl lavo a Iook al porsonaIily losls vill li-
lIos Iiko Wlal kind of fomaIo aro you`, or Wlals His
Inlimacy IQ`
Iol mo concIudo llis claplor by loIIing you ono of my
moro amusing slorios. Sinco I vas going llrougl quilo
a fov vomon, I lad my fair slaro of scaros. My GI vas
lloroforo sooing mo prolly froquonlIy. Onco lo look mo
asido and said, Can I ask you vill lov many vomon
youvo lad sox vill` I loId limllal I lad Iosl counl and
couIdnl ansvor lis quoslion. Ho rolorlod vill, Wlal
aboul llo Iasl llroo monlls` I ropIiod llal llo numbor
vas probabIy bolvoon 1 and zo. Ho llon slook lis load,
saying llis vas abnormaI, and boforo I knov il, I found
mysoIf al llo rocoiving ond of a spoocl on llo dangors of
sox addiclion. Ho concIudod by asking mo vlollor I vas
pursuing vomon onIy lo gralify my ogo. Tloro vas somo
lrull lo llal, and I ondod up Ioaving lis ofco vill llo
businoss cardof a friondof lis, a lrainodpsycloIogisl vlo
vorkod as a sox llorapisl. I quickIy slruggod llis off, bul
kopl llo businoss card.
As any guy vill a bil of oxporionco can conrm, il may
lappon llal you Ioso your inlorosl in a girI rallor quickIy,
somolimos IiloraIIy al llo oxacl samo momonl you como.
Im nol a compIolo dickload, llougl, so I novor kickod a
girI oul immodialoIy aflorvards. I lad ondod up vill a
girI vlo vas corlainIy allraclivo, bul bocauso vo ondod
1
up in bod so quickIy I somolov missod llal slo lad a
rallor obnoxious porsonaIily. As slo drossod lorsoIf, slo
casuaIIy askod mo aboul my soxuaI lislory. I lad gollon
borod of lor aIroady, so I said, Nol llal many acluaIIy.
}usl llroo or four, and il aIvays jusl kind of lapponod.
You knov, I am roaIIy nol llal good vill girIs, bul poopIo
oflon llink I am jusl bocauso I lappon lo bo laII. Im nol
ovon llal condonl, bul bocauso Im laII poopIo llink so.
Tlis mado lor smiIo gIoofuIIy. Womon roaIIy Iap il up
vlon you opon up lo llom. Slo slovod groal undor-
slanding, bul slo couIdnl loIp bul confoss llal slo foIl
llal lloro vas somolling off vill mo, and lriod lor land
al rovisionisl lislory. I vas quilo amazod llal slo mado
il sound as if slo lad acluaIIy puIIod mo. Tlis vas a bil
loo mucl for mo lo lako. Nov llis pompous IillIo dipslil
kind of pissod mo off, so I slornIy Iookod al lor and said,
Do you roaIIy boIiovo llis`
Wlal do you moan`
Do you boIiovo vlal you jusl said`
Yoal, vly vouIdnl I`
Good. Do you aIso boIiovo vlal I lavo loId you`
Wlal do you moan`
Do you roaIIy boIiovo Ivo onIy boon vill llroo or four
girIs in my Iifo`
Yoal, I guoss so.
YouroaIIyboIiovo ovorylling poopIo loII you, donl you`
I llon vonl llrougl my dosk and slovod lor llo businoss
card of llal sox llorapisl. I loId lor llal Im curronlIy bo-
ing lroalod for sox addiclion, llo roason boing llal ovor
sinco I Iosl my virginily al llo ago of 1z I canl slop clas-
ing girIs, and llal I lavo sIopl vill oasiIy ovor oo girIs,
probabIy moro, bul llal il vas impossibIo for mo lo koop
lrack of llo numbors. I llon did somo monlaI arillmolic
16
for lor, proving llal oo vas acluaIIy a rallor consor-
valivo oslimalo. Slo Iookod al mo vill a bIank slaro, and
aflor I lad nislod, slo vas quick lo pack lor sluff and
Ioavo llo aparlmonl. Tlo Iasl lling I loard vas, I donl
vanl lo bo vill a sox maniac Iiko you! Slo didnl ovon
say goodbyo.
Isnl il funny llal vomon can road your mind` Lxcopl
vlon lloy canl, vlicl is aII llo limo. If you llink llo girI
you aro inloracling vill migll lavo an issuo vill your
roaI or imaginod Iack of soxuaI oxporionco, llon loII lor
llal youvo brokon up vill your Iong-lormgirIfriond and
lavonl quilo gollon ovor il yol. GirIs Iovo llal. Bul nor-
maIIy you slouIdnl caro aboul vlal slo migll llink. If
you acl condonl, sloII assumo anyvay llal you puII a
girI ovory limo you go oul bocauso you jusl gol lor.
Somo vomon lavo inlorosling vays of roasoning. If you
vanl lo avoid llo issuo aIlogollor, you oillor ignoro any
quoslions aboul your soxuaI lislory, or say somolling Iiko,
You donl vanl lo knov. Tlis vas my slandard ropIy,
and in facl no girI vanlod lo knov moro. Tlon lloy aulo-
malicaIIy assumo youro llo roincarnalion of Don }uan, no
mallor if ils lruo or nol. Bul sinco vomon aro ol-so por-
coplivo and can road your mind, il doosnl roaIIy mallor,
or doos il`
1;
18
The
Looks-Money-Status
Triad
Ono of llo biggosl Iios of llo soduclion induslry is llal il
doosnl mallor lovyou Iook, lovlaII you aro, lovmucl
monoy you mako, and so on. AII llal mallors is lovgood
your gamo is. Hovovor, if youro roading llis book,
you may lavo Ioarnl llal gamo doosnl accounl for aII llal
mucl if you Iack in ollor aroas. Tlus, I vanl lo givo you
a briof ovorviov of llo main dolorminanls of succoss vill
vomon. If you aro nol doing voII, you migll vanl lo pay
allonlion nov. I viII onIy brioy go llrougl lloso poinls.
Viov llis claplor as a romindor, nol as a manuaI aII by
ilsoIf.
Iirsl, vo aII lavo gonolic Iimilalions. Suro, if youaro slorl,
llon llink aboul voaring sloos vill a looI and pulling
loigll-incroasing soIos in llom. I llink llis is porfoclIy
Iogilimalo sinco mosl girIs, ospociaIIy slorlor onos, avoid
voaring al sloos loo. Tloy vanl lo Iook laIIor, so if you
nood lo, llon pIoaso go aload and do llo samo. Hoigll
aIso boaulifuIIy iIIuslralos llo roIalivily of Iooks. If youaro
8 you viII bo slorl for a girI vlo is 6 laII. On llo ollor
land, if slo is jusl , llon slo probabIy vonl compIain
1q
mucl. Tlo laIIor girI probabIy vouIdnl considor you as a
soxuaI parlnor, bul famo and monoy can lip llo baIanco in
your favor. So, if you aro slorl, mako yoursoIf Iook laIIor.
In any caso, you may vanl lo vork on your posluro. Tlis
viII aIso mako you Iook moro condonl, vlicl is an addi-
lionaI pIus. Noxl, vork oul. Tloro is no nood lo buIk up,
bul al llo vory Ioasl bo lonod. Dross voII, roIalivo lo your
onvironmonl.
Mako suro you lavo onougl monoy. No, you donl lavo
lo bo ricl, ovon llouglil suroIy loIps. Boing ricl las somo
disadvanlagos, so donl fooI bad if you aro jusl scraping
by. Hovovor, ospociaIIy if you aro oyoing a polonliaI Iong-
lorm roIalionslip, you may vanl lo mako al Ioasl sIigllIy
moro llan llo girI. Womon vanl lo marry up. If you donl
boIiovo mo andllink llal gamo viII IovoI llo pIaying oId,
llon pIoaso do somo rosoarcl and Iook around. Womon
normaIIy donl pick any random guy as lloir boyfriond.
Dospilo fominism, many vomon cIing on lo lradilionaI
gondor roIos vlonovor lloy oxpocl an advanlago from il.
In facl, llis is ono of llo main crilicisms againsl fominism
from llo MGTOW movomonl, vlicl slands for Mon Go
Tloir Ovn Way.
Donl Ioso mucl sIoop aboul your slalus or Iack lloroof.
RoaIislicaIIy spoaking, youII onIy ovor gol girIs fromyour
sociaI slralum, or girIs vlo boIong lo a Iovor slralum.
Ono-nigll slands aro anoxcoplionllal onIy provo llo ruIo.
Mako suro you l in voII vill your onvironmonl. Tlis is
acluaIIy a paramolor you can gamo prolly oasiIy. If you
mako good monoy, bul vanl lo Iivo on llo Ippor Lasl
Sido, llon you viII fooI as if youro slruggIing jusl lo gol
by, comparod lo somo of your noiglbors. Hovovor, if you
movod lo an aroa vloro you voro signicanlIy abovo llo
modian incomo, your onliro silualion vouId improvo. Ils
nol quilo so slraigllforvard as I may mako il sound, bul
you suroIy gol llo idoa.
1o
In slorl, vork oul, Iook prosonlabIo, and gol your Iifo in
ordor. If you vanl lo incroaso clancos vill vomon dra-
malicaIIy, you slouId focus on a parlicuIar scono. Ior in-
slanco, if you aro roaIIy inlo dancing lango, llon bocomo a
bil moro aclivo, go lo somo miIongas and bocomo a knovn
faco. You viII bo abIo lo oasiIy mool girIs lloro. Tlis is
jusl a random oxampIo, bul ils nol parlicuIarIy difcuIl
lo mool ollor poopIo, incIuding polonliaI girIfrionds and
Iovors, llrougl common aclivilios.
11
1z
One Step After Another
Anollor issuo I oflon oncounlor is llal poopIo lavo oxpoc-
lalions llal aro oul of loucl vill roaIily. DoublIossIy, llis
is fuoIod by slady markoling promisos by various pickup
companios. Tloy cIaim llal any guy viII Ioarn lo puII
modoI-caIibro girIs if lo jusl allondod a vookond bool-
camp. As lloso vlo sponl llo roquirod sovoraI lundrod
or a fov llousand doIIars lavo Ioarnl, ils nol quilo so
simpIo. In Debunking the Seduction Community I laIk aboul
vly boolcamps donl vork. IIoaso road llal obook if you
vanl lo Ioarn moro aboul llis lopic. Rigll nov, I ammoro
concornod vill sloving you vlal you can do lo gol bol-
lor.
You lavo lo koop in mind llal improvomonl can bo a Iong
procoss. Yos, il is lruo llal I gol vory good in an unusuaIIy
slorl amounl of limo. Hovovor, in my caso aII llo piocos
voro in pIaco. I jusl didnl bollor vill girIs boforo, and
onco I did, il vas corlainIy vory advanlagoous llal I vas
laII, in slapo, and Iiving in SoHo in Iondon. In addilion,
I lad copious amounls of sparo limo on my lands. You
may nol bo in sucl a Iucky slarling posilion.
If youlavo novor Iiflodvoiglls inyour Iifo, il vouIdbo Iu-
dicrous lo allompl boncl-prossing your ovn voigll dur-
ing your rsl limo in llo gym. Yol, lloro aro pIonly of guys
vlo llink lloy can go from lardIy ovor inloracling vill
vomon lo going lo a cIub on lloir ovn and puIIing a girI
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lomo for a ono-nigll sland. I do llink llal il can bo a Iol
oasior lo gol a ono-nigll sland llan a dalo, nol jusl bocauso
ils Ioss of a limo commilmonl. Hovovor, if you aro nol
comforlabIo vill your soxuaIily, you viII nd il vory dif-
cuIl lo puII off. Tlus, you bollor praclico by going on
dalos vill sovoraI vomon, ovon on a socond or llird ono
if nood bo. Aim lo bocomo comforlabIo in llo company of
vomon, and Ioarn lo oscaIalo soxuaIIy. Onco you can do
llal, you can vorry aboul bars and cIubs, bul clancos aro
llal you may nol ovon nood lo anymoro.
Mako anallompl lo buiIda sociaI circIo rsl, andndsomo
aclivilios llal inlorosl you. Tlis can bo a groal opporlu-
nily lo Ioarn lov lo do somolling on your ovn. Aflor aII,
if you aro loo inlimidalod signing up for a gym mombor-
slipandvorking oul onyour ovn, llonlovdo youllink
youd do in a nigll cIub on your ovn` IIaying sporls
slouId improvo your posluro. Yoga is aIso vory good for
llal. If you aro vory uncomforlabIo loucling girIs, llon
I can loII you a socrol: go lo a dancing cIass! YouII lavo
no cloico bul lo plysicaIIy inloracl vill many girIs, and
youII aIso Ioarn lov lo mako and loId oyo conlacl. Tlis
slouId buiId your condonco quickIy, and llo offocl il las
on your daling Iifo viII bo nolicoabIo. Il can bo vory oasy
lo gol dalos from dancing cIassos, so ils probabIy vorll
clocking oul.
Iixing your posluro may lako limo, golling in slapo doos
loo. Doponding on your slarling posilion, il can aIso bo
quilo an offorl lo Ioarn lov lo casuaIIy laIk lo poopIo. If
you nood llo limo, llon lako il. I do llink llal llis is abso-
IuloIy nocossary, bocauso if your foundalions aronl in
ordor, you viII slruggIo sovoroIy in cIubs or bars, jusl Iiko
youd slruggIo boncl-prossing 18o pounds if youvo novor
Iiflod voiglls boforo.
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