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Wired for Success TV

Mastering the 7 Areas of Life

www.wiredforsuccess.tv Presented by
Melanie Gabriel & Beryl Thomas

[Episode 29] Living Sexy With Allana Pratt

Living Sexy with Allana Pratt [Episode 29] Wired For Success TV Melanie: Welcome to another episode of http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv. Im Mel Gabriel and with me is my co-host, Beryl Thomas. Say hello, Beryl. Beryl: Hi, everyone. Melanie: And todays juicy and succulent topic is with the international relationship coach and expert in sensual empowerment, Allana Pratt. Allana is the author of How to Be and Stay Sexy and she has a unique and effective way of inspiring confidence in both men and women. She is also a professional speaker, has an exclusive client base, has been coach to the stars and has had many TV and radio appearances as well as having her own weekly live shows. She invites you to get ready to be turned on to life and be sexy and confident again. Today, we will explore how shes redefine relationships and sexuality from the inside out and how sensuality fuels our success from the boardroom to the bedroom. Be warned. Todays conversation is just part one. This fabulous lady has so much to share about how you really can reclaim your mojo and expand your sexual confidence. And more importantly, recognize its beneficial impact on every other area of your life from the spiritual to the financial. We just cant get all of this into 60 minutes but its a wonderful excuse to have her back in the future. So welcome, Allana. We cant wait. Allana: Oh, Im very excited too. For me, its morning and Ive got my coffee and your accents are so sexy. Im very excited. Melanie: OK. So Allana, I know your work is a blend of the spiritual and the psychological. You help people to find their passion and there are so many other things that you do to bring out the best in people and Ill leave that for you to tell. But could you tell us in your own words how you would describe yourself and what it is you do and what makes it different from anything else out there.

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Allana: Well first, to describe me, my goodness, small town Canadian girl but I live in Los Angeles so I have this sort of sweet, tender, dorky, still love a guy with a truck part of me, and I have this very like I love big cities and glamour and kind of this hedonistic loving of pleasure and beauty and culture and wine and food and all of this so the sort of both of these. And Im a mom so I have that motherly way about me as well. And at the core, even though Ive gotten burned, relationships didnt work out, people are mean, I have this undying spirit of love for humanity. And I have this gift, its almost like a pair of glasses you could put on. I just see things. Its like I see I have this capacity to be a light and shine a light on a blind spot. To me, its so simple to see. I cant see my own but I can see theirs and if permission is granted, like in a coaching relationship, I can go right to the core so fast with love, fierce love but unconditional love and they feel, my clients feel so acknowledged for who they are that theyre willing to let go of whatever that thing theyve been caring because nobody got them. Nobody acknowledged them. Nobody really said, Wow! Thats been tough. Or I see you and love you anyways. And with this capacity is I see your shame. I see your guilt. I see your anger. I see what youre hiding. And I love you anyways. And that combination is like grace and that layer dissolves away and then whats revealed is the radiance and the magnificence and the potency of who they truly are. And then we create choices and decisions and plans and we create a breakthrough in their relationship with their body and self-esteem, a breakthrough in their intimacy with their partner, maybe just the courage to be authentic and attract someone who sees them for who they truly are and values them for that. So they find the one. Maybe its the courage to create that business that theyve always been wanting to do in a way that really works. Old and the new and how do we manage the bridge? How can we truly stay in those choices and in that energy and in that havingness? Like Im willing to have this. Those are the spaces that I hold. Im sort of like a tipping point coach. They come to me, are quite masterful. Theyve done their work. Theyre conscious and theyre about to go from a nine to a ten in their life. But a ten is a one at the next dimension. Melanie: Yeah.
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Allana: So, its really wobbly. And so, Im this space holder, this tipping point coach where they might need that last little kick in their cute butt, insight theyve never had or just permission. And then when theyre wobbly, Im like, Yeah, yeah, you can do it. Its going to be great. They soar off and its so fulfilling. Melanie: So, it sounds like its fulfilling for you as well as for them. Allana: Well certainly, theyre getting the results they want or their life would have failed a long time ago. So yes, and they do come back. That sort of like that DNA spiral. They might look back and say, Well, last year we talked about this. Now, this is the new opportunity. Help me cross this bridge. And yeah, and for me, its very fulfilling to as a little girl, I wasnt really gotten not even as like a high school was I really gotten. I didnt quite fit. I was too much. I felt too much. I shine too much. I just was too much. So for my too muchness to be a contribution finally is so fulfilling for me. Melanie: So is it the adults around you who just felt it was too much? You were just you werent conforming to being a nice little girl? Allana: But I was. I was trying to do whatever I could to get luck so I did try the people pleaser. I did try the nice little girl. I tried all sorts of things. It wasnt really until my mother passed and I became a mother and I saw well first, Ive experienced how much she loved me. I mean I knew she loved me but when I became a mother, Im like, Wow! You loved me that much? And so yeah, I was probably a handful. I used to go off outside my cabin into the forest and I was convinced there were fairies and I was having so much fun playing with those fairies. But the more I became older, you dont talk about that, thats little weird. And so, I start to shut down. Melanie: So you havent always been this you see, heres the thing. Allana: What am I now? Melanie: No. What weve enjoyed about you is how open you are and vulnerable in a really strong way. And even when weve spoken to you in the past, youve been willing to share your demons and you seemed willing to do that with your clients and with the public. And I was going to and its very freeing, its very empowering for those of us who are experiencing and it gives us permission to bring up from one of the [indiscernible] [0:08:15]
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things that we wouldnt normally bring out and perhaps be healed in all expected ways. And I was going to say to you, have you always been like this, so passionate and compassionate and revealing and yet sensual and seeming without hang ups but it sounds as though its not always been that way? Allana: Theres a whole closet of hang ups over there that Ive let go of. I would say there were moments when somebody saw me when I was a little girl and I would shine and then the next moment someone would be put off by that so I would hide it. Its sort of been like this my whole life. I guess what I wanted to say before I forget was this bit about vulnerability and this bit about opening up. I used to have it. And so, whatever your religious or spiritual beliefs are, listeners, I bless you and I honor that. This is just my opinion and my journey. I used to think God was a guy with a beard in the sky up there and I was down here and Id better be a good little girl. Then I started to do more spiritual work and I sort of had it that God was like god and the goddess like this union of two energies but they were still up there and I was still down here and they were probably too busy for me so I dont ask for too much. And then one day, I just got so pissed. Im like, This doesnt work for me. If were doing this co-creator thing together, Im not going to do the, youre up there, Im down here thing anymore. Youve got to be my homey. Weve got to be in this together. And so, I have this like awakening where Im like, Get out the scotch and the cigars. Were partying. Were talking like talk to me, were on the same what do I need lets rock this thing, OK? And now, I have it that I like I am. Thats it. I am. Its in me. Its in you. Its us. Its who we are. And theres no I mean I might have conversations in my head chit chatting with the universe but its a oneness. Im coming to that place of oneness and I really embody it not just like a construct in my mind. So bridging that over to coaching, Im not this guru that say, Well, youre sure broken. Let me fix you. No! I am totally on the same page. I will share my dirty laundry or I will share my moments of absolute terror or shame or Ill hit Ill share when I hit rock bottom. Ill know based on what it is theyre dealing with. Ive had enough experience in life that theres always a story that lets them know I so get you and Ive been in my own way right there and I dont go, So now, you can change it. I go, So, lets just sit here. And thats the key.
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The key is as you beautifully said, our potency, our power is in our vulnerability. It is in just that open raw sit with it and thats where I believe the greats happen. I dont do anything. I hold space pretty magnificent, unconditionally loving space granted, but I just hold space and we just be with that thing that youve been, just dont let anybody see and then and that changes. It literally is like magic. It alchemizes from the wound oh, this is great too. This kind of leads into maybe well talk about the pole dancing newsletter of last week. Kelly [Phonetic] [0:11:30] about this, shes like because I was saying I was like ashamed that I used to do topless dancing and I didnt tell anybody. But over when Im dancing, I was having so much fun. I was free in my body. This felt way better than all the shame in my culture. Id held the shame in and she said, Well, if you come to the pole dancing classes, I will help you transform that shame into the naughty, provocateur. And Im like, Oh, that sounds good. And thats when Im whole enough to, someone needs to be there for me to help with my stuff and I know with great confidence, I can be that for others and shift their places but Im just like you. Were one. Melanie: So, was that a defining point that you started to as it were, come out in terms of the work that you do now where you used to be a topless dancer and you realized that, hey, this is allowing the goddess in me to be fully expressed and et cetera? Would you say thats a defining point where that turn happened for you or is it something Allana: Well, it was seven days ago. Melanie: Sorry? I didnt hear. Allana: It was last week. I am constantly evolving, always going to give you fresh content. Melanie: OK, OK. Allana: No. Its like anything in life, were sold from advertisers and society that there are seven steps to becoming conscious or here, take this pill or go away for a weekend and everything will be better forever. No! Its we grow in phases like this idea of a DNA spiral or the way our planets actually
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move. They we think that its just our sun and the planets are going around. And while thats accurate, were also this is all happening as were vortexing through space. So when we get that we are designed the way the planets are designed and there is an even flow, theres always more growth around the corner. Youre never there. Theres always, how can I even get more delicious? Theres always that. And I think one of our hang ups in life is having these goals that are static with the allusion that once I get there, everything is going to be perfect. Ill lose ten pounds, everything will be fine. Ill make more money, everything will be fine. Things will be different but youre never there. And I think when we stop the external, what do I need to change in these external circumstances to finally be enough, be safe, be liked, be sexy, be whatever it is? and we go, OK. Thats always going to be changing in different what about this? Oh! And come home here. Various opportunities in my life, divorces, marriages, divorces, death of my mother, becoming a mother, single mother, like all the different things Ive gone through including my sensuality and dancing and coaching and teaching and all the stuff Ive done have led me to this place where and the key is our sexy in my opinion, our sexiness is not a push-up bra although I love push-up bras, our sexiness is our willingness to let our true life force energy radiant, sparkly, whatever, our uniqueness shine without concern about what other people think. So you can shine we see a lot of shiny people but theres an agenda attached. Do you like me? Will you marry me? Will you hire me? Am I enough? Because thats not what Im talking about. And Im not talking about the shining which is like, I dont care what you think about me. I can open my own door. Thank you very much. Ive got my own vibrator. I dont need a partner. Like theres that shining thats also, f*** you to the world. Im not talking about that. Im talking about such a shining and youre so at peace with me that it becomes a gift for the we. And theres a slithering swimming through the air that you can start to be aware of when youre that embodied in your life force energy. You literally feel the energy in your body. There are no head trips going on. Youre just like your breath like Im sure there are moments in meditation where youve touched this. Like what if we could be like that all the time? And when we sigh, we could make love to the earth
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as were walking because the earth, shes holding us. She loves us. Shes here to nourish us. Feel her. Breath her in. The sun happens. Oh, let the sun like penetrate you. Let it open you. Let it feel you. Like, oh, take me, sunshine. Oh, Im sorry. Am I unpleasant? Melanie: No, its fine, its fine. Beryl: Youre very Californian for a Canadian. Well done. Allana: Yeah. Thats a choice. And you might not need to do it in the Allana flavor. Do it in your flavor. But there is such a joy to be had just being in your body and no longer abusing yourself and celebrating what you got. Celebrate if youre voluptuous. Own it. Like I did this speech up in Nova Scotia last October, this past October, and it was little black dress night and I wore my little black dress. Everybody wore little black dress. And one of the women was quite overweight. And you could just see her when she walked in the room do the comparison thing and the judgment thing that she didnt look like everyone else. And I never knew what Im going to say, just like on this interview, on the speech. I had an idea but you know. And I then I just looked at her and I asked her if shed be willing to be to do a process with me. And I literally spread my legs, there were just women. Its fine. And I sat her down on my lap and I put my arms around her and she was big so it was kind of like that and I let her exhale into me and I started to talk about the elephant in the living room which is how many women shes totally judging herself. The women are judging her too as an external projection of their own judgments of their own selves and it was uncomfortable. But it was real. And I got her to talk to me in the voice that she talks to herself. Melanie: Thats interesting. Allana: With passion, with intensity and I go, No, you say it worse to yourself that that. And she just said it and then she started to cry and I go, Do you get how abusive that is? And would you be willing to stop? And she was so courageous. It was awesome. And then I said, Would you ladies out there willing to tell her who you see her as? What is the beauty that she is? But heres the funny thing that happened. All they did was comment on her brains, her courage, her Im like, No! I want you to comment on this voluptuous goddess thats sitting on my lap. And they
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really had trouble because they only view that they had a beauty was thinner. Melanie: Right. Allana: So thats what were up against. Its not just our own judgments of ourselves, theres societys judgments. Its just a lot to manage. But if you destroy and create with yourself and return the rest of it to sender and Ive used those words that Ive learned from [indiscernible] [0:18:59] consciousness. Thats how they say it. When you get the two layers gone, things got a lot easier. And she emailed me like a couple of weeks later. She and her boyfriend are hot. Her business is going. Shes lost some weight. Shes going, I forgot what exercise class. And shes like, And my mind is quiet. And I was like, Yes! It worked. Melanie: Now, its interesting because of course how one thing happens in ones life, its rippling through the rest of your life. So its interesting youve brought up, she got that bit straight in her head and so many other things changed. Allana: Yup. Melanie: And I was as I say it now, it seems obvious but I was listening to another coach, a financial coach, and she was saying that you are never ever going to get your finances right until you sort out your relationships. And she preceded to prove it where people who had been struggling to sort out their relationships and only when they were willing to deal with their finances and only when they are willing to deal with their relationships and going to some of the nasty places that the finances straightened up. Have you found that with some of the people that youve worked with? Allana: With the people Ive worked with and with myself, absolutely. So first with people Ive worked with. Theres a couple I met when I was doing another speech in British Columbia and I met the husband and then he introduced the wife and I actually was able to do an in-person session and now we do sessions on Skype, and their relationship was so harmonious that I was able to show them when he is seen, acknowledged, literally fueled by her feminine joy and radiance of being alive, this kind of puzzle piece fits together and she can literally fuel his legacy. And he coming home from work being able to share what happened, good or bad, but
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theres still that union. It will allow him to continue to grow and create with her and the opposite is true. That when he hates his life, hates himself, why am I even building anything? Whats the point? She hates me. I cant come home. Come home late. Come home, we fight. Come home, Ill drink. Like whatever its going to be, that was what was going on. And in a very short period of time, because weve been able to I hold space and were able to get through a lot of this stuff and break down the barrier and do the vulnerable, rawness and the honoring and the apologizing, oh my God, when they finally apologize to themselves, I was totally caught crying. It was so amazing. That his ideas now are flying. Her ideas are flying. They are just totally breaking free and actually willing to and this is the key, willing to have all that money because whats the point? There is no future to create. They had to hell with the future. Why create money for that? Melanie: Exactly. Allana: So now, they want to do things. Now, the money is coming in to give it to them. Beautiful. Its so beautiful. Personally, its exactly the same thing. I have this little, how do you want to call it, sort of love equals sacrifice thing going on where when I grow up, if my dad was basically, unless I was a little damsel in distress, I would get verbal abuse. He would be drinking and if I just sat around being happy that I was not enough. But if I was if something happened where he needed to save me, then he would be nice. And so I realized I learned as a little girl, you have to screw your life up so youll get love. Right? So what I learned in my business was that I used to have a client come in and I would help them but they would begin to soar but the sacrifice thing that was running me wouldnt let me have it too. I keep seeing a mentor that would come in but I would never go ahead of my mentor or a client, I would never go ahead with my I was always in the back. And so, my growth with the relationship with me so that was the relationship with the couple I was talking about, but this is the relationship with me, is no, Im allowed to have too. And the more I have, the more gifts. And so the relationship of being willing to have pleasure, joy, success, sex, money, champagne, just quiet evenings on the porch with my son playing the
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matching game with our cards, like all the wonderful things I get to have and that was my work for me with my relationship with me. Melanie: Beautiful. So there is something else I want to ask, unless you want to come in, Beryl. Beryl: No. Melanie: OK. So while were on that, now, you do a lot of work with people who unfortunately fall into the category of being Mr. Nice Guy. Were talking about men now. Would you like to talk about a little bit about that? So the men listening, they would think its just the women hugging this. Allana: Well, weve been talking actually all about men and women the whole time. What happens to a lot of my male clients, theyre brilliant and theyre brilliance becomes their Achilles heel. At one point, theyre hearts were opened and they were vulnerable or they were really sexy. They did something where the person they were with reacted in a way that maybe it was too much, kind of scared them a little bit. And so, they shut their heart down because that was like, Ouch, I dont want to feel that. I dont want to do it again. And they go up into their mind to strategize, How can I be safe from now own? How can I get love? How can I get her to like me? How can I get her to say yes? And so what happens over time is that because the mind we can have the divine mind but in general, theres this whole layer of the mind where theres doubt and hesitancy and questioning of themselves and not speaking their truth and just spinning up there and making themselves wrong and comparing themselves to other men and making up all sorts of stories, that creates a nice guy, a nice guy where he gives away his power. He doesnt say what he wants. He doesnt have the energy of claiming her. He has given all his power away to her opinion of him. And he will attract either a low self-esteemed woman who is needy or a low self-esteemed woman who wants to be dominant in an unkind way and make him wrong and all the rest of it. And its quite a predicament because the more you try to think about it to get yourself out of it, you dig the hole deeper. And in order to go down and heal the wound in the heart, that doesnt feel good and its not acceptable in society for a man to emote or feel. So he gets even worse and worse
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and worse and worse and he either has very unfulfilling relationships, just one nightstands or whatever or just never really enjoys the intimacy thats possible when two vulnerable souls unite in communion. So what I do is three-fold with these beautiful gentlemen. First, I take them into my more divine, caring, tender, mother energy where its OK. Im not going to judge you. Lets go into that inside heart and feel the shame. It could have been from an unconscious mother years ago or an unconscious ex-wife. It could be anything. We go in and first, I just hold space with love and they realized, Whoa! Im not going to be abused here for being real. And then something in them exhales. And then once it exhales, it dissolves and they go sort of deeper more into, I kind of call it like their balls or whatever, like their pelvis. And theyre like they found it because think about it energetically, youre spinning in your head. You cant get down there unless youre [inaudible] [0:26:55]. So theyre like, OK. Im a good person. I did my best. I can choose again. OK. And they go down and more power center, down into their pelvis and theyre grounded. Oh my God, theyre grounded for the first time. Like isnt it the hottest [inaudible], a guy thats grounded like a [indiscernible] or like James Bond or whatever. Hes not going anywhere. Well, thats an energy. Thats a groundedness thats only possible when youre out of your spinning head, healed in your heart, and then you really start to choose. What am I going to create in my life? And thats when my kind of fierce, [indiscernible] [0:27:31] energy where Im like, Damn it! I love you so acting much. Get your ass out the door and you go create your life. I believe in you. Its like fierce love. And theyre like, OK. And out they go. And then the last part of me that I do is more like my central temptress, muse, champion and its all very platonic on Skype or whatever but Im just like so happy. Im like, Did you meet her? How did it go? And Im like a mean girl a little bit at the end, really celebrating their fullness. And the results are amazing. Guys I mean everything from money to the woman to body image to even if they had trouble, can I say this, like keeping it up or whatever, look at their own head or just freedom in the bedroom to be who she always been wanting him to be but its very difficult in a personal relationship to have these conversations because you go from the polarity of the masculine and feminine to mentor-teacher energy and superiorinferior and it gets messy. So I think its best to have a third party to do this work with and then back to the relationship.
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Even the coaching that I do with couples, we do an initial first session together but then I do about four separate sessions because its never about the other person. Its fun to blame. And once we got those things handled, I get them to come together and we do couple sessions from them and its so much more effective and I get to them so much faster. Melanie: And I suppose that while hes busy fearing being rejected, when hes in nice guy mode, while hes busy fearing being rejected and she is, assuming he is in a relationship, she is confused, not understanding thats whats going on, I suppose then her behavior which is usually to try and jolt him out of it only makes the whole thing worse. Allana: It can come up just like a bitch or a nag. And granted, she has every right to be frustrated, but one of the things on the opposite side that I teach with the women that I take through my curriculum is the best way to its like, Im so lucky to be alive. Like I dont know why I know what I know. I dont know a lot. I cant do much like I even had to hire my sons babysitter to put together my sons desk. I bought [inaudible] [0:29:59] and I was like, ahh! So Im not very good at those kinds of things. But this Im good at. Ive learned how to awaken a mans nobility. And thats what we all want is theyre noble, bad-ass, just theyre sexy, theyre loving and theyre doing good on the planet, right? This is the kind of guy. When we tell them what to do, it doesnt work. It comes across as a mother. And when we ignore and just give them too much space, they think we dont care. So theres a way of engaging that and awaken it and I think the best word to use is an invitation. Being invitation, no judgment that youre better then or that youre condescending, you just you see the glory and the fullness of who they are and you invite it. And you have to trust your womens intuition on which energy to invite. I dont use my temptress energy with my son obviously, right? Theres a more playful energy I might invite him with. Like the other morning, I did such not a good job of getting him out of bed when he wouldnt get out of bed. I was pissed. I had a client and I was just, OK. Im not perfect. But theres been other times when I have taken that beat and remember, Im at choice here. And what who can I be right now that would create the result that I chose with joy for everybody. So sometimes Ill become like the tickle monster and that will get him
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[inaudible] [0:31:27]. Sometimes Ill put like his music that I dont really care for but his music on and Ill like do my head banging thing. Im like, Its time to get up, son. [Inaudible] because he has woman that will invite out that part of him and its [indiscernible], its an awareness of what would love do now. And sometimes its what men might consider as anger but when you really drop in, its fierce love. You love them and thats I would even coach women to start the sentence with, I love you so much it hurts me to see you on the couch just zoning out night after night when I know youve got such passion in you to create this. Damn it! Go for it. Get out there. Who cares what anybody think? Like this is like a theres a part of us as women that when we dont stay in the love, stay in the heart when we communicate, when we go up to our heads, that was the men, women can go up to our heads and we can emasculate them like this or we can make them wrong or our fear will take us out and well push them away for fear of them leaving us and being abandoned. So we women, have just as much to do about coming down and healing our heart, exact same thing, coming down to our pelvis and our womb of creation which will always support your awareness of how to bring out the best in a man. Does it take practice? Yes. Does it take awareness? Yes. Does it take the healing of this and the getting out of this? Yes. So obviously, the work I do is not for the fainted heart and its not just like a quick fix. Theres process and its way faster than you think and the results are so worth it because you get to be fully you in partnership with another awakening to the fullness of them and then its like, OK. Now, its possible. Its delicious. Melanie: So look, I want to talk a little bit, you are reminding me about your book, How to Be and Stay Sexy because I should imagine that it touches on the lot of the things that we youre just been talking about. But before we do that, so we just talked about Mr. Nice Guy, how to bring him into the fullness of who he is without becoming a jerk, right? What about the guys who are already jerks? Or they wouldnt come to you for help?

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Allana: Thats the thing. Jerks dont need help. They know well. So I never got jerk as a client because they are righteous and what the sad thing is its exactly the same side its the same coin Melanie: Its a fit. Allana: Yeah. Melanie: Yeah. Allana: Its all the mechanism. Its really only once theyve been so burned that they realized the only one in common has been them. Something will take them out like a disease, like a cancer or something and theyre like, OK. Its time to wake up. But they still come to me with a, Im ready to do the work. I dont convince people to work with me. The old me, the insecure me 15 years ago when I first started, I was like, Im the best coach because of this, that, and the other. And I try to prove it. Im so over justifying or proving, anything. If Im not a match for you, no problem, move on or Ill find somebody that is because were going to waste all of our energy and time on that silly dance. No, you know. We move forward. We do the work. Youll have it if you want. If not, bless you [indiscernible] [0:34:49]. Move on. Ive got other people to serve. Melanie: OK. So your book, so what delights can we look forward to in the book? Allana: Its my its in its third edition now so Ive added a lot to it at the end of there are different questions that people would ask and a whole other chapter on being sexy on a budget and the whole thing is in audio so my luscious, velvety voice will wake you [inaudible] [0:35:19]. I really do believe [inaudible] like a real resonance. In fact, a lot of that Im getting these days on my guided meditations which are in my memberships. They sort of drop in and do the thing and Ive been getting these emails of people and tears of breakthroughs and Im like, Good! I didnt yay! Its absolutely humbling. So yeah, the book, How to Be and Stay Sexy is tips, tools, practices, stories, all about ways you can bring this into your real life. So its not so esoterical though my crates and beautiful visualizations for you to embody it, its just real practical advice on how to do that from the inside out, not the outside in which allows you to attract all the attention you
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could ever desire being you, what a concept. You dont have to change. Its about tapping into richness of you because you dont I mean I guess we would want we could want a hundred guys after us, maybe that would feel good but thats all logistics to manage. Really, were looking for him, OK? Were just looking for one. So, the sooner youre you, the easier youre like this beak in and he can see you. And when youre hiding who you are and youre doing the mask and the faade, not only can he not see you, can you see him? No. So, you cant see anything. You cant see the right job. You cant see the right turn off on the freeway. You cant see him. You cant see a lot because youre always in this self-doubtful reflection thing going on versus being present, totally open, totally aware, magnetic, having a darn good time in your body. I was once voted, it was kind of strange, when I knew it was time to teach, I was voted most make lovable but they use the other word, most to be chosen to be on a desert island with him for 20 years because I would keep him on purpose which are two separate quality. One, do they want to sleep with you? One is do they want to marry you? And those two qualities need to be present in a woman for a committed relationship should that be something she chooses, which Im not saying thats the better choice. Its that if thats what she chose. And the quality of having pleasure in your body, being at peace in your skin, as I said, connected to the earth, connected to the sky, loving your cellulite, loving the droopy girls after how many years or whatever, like this is me, that piece makes them want to be literally in us, plugged in to us because thats life force itself. The other quality about wanting to marry us, why would they want us around unless we feel their purpose? Why would they want us? Unless when they lost their job, we didnt make them wrong. We were that soft place to land. So those are about our heart and our capacity to know that our external circumstances do not equal safety. Because they dont want to change. Safety is an internal knowing, an awareness that you can create anything and that the universe has your back. Thats an internal thing. And when a woman gets theirs for herself, life becomes so much more peaceful and fun because whats the worst that would happen? You fall down. You get back
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up. No big deal. Come on. When she has that, she is happy and it makes him go, Oh, that would contribute to my life. How could I contribute to hers? And thats when the more committed relationships start to happen. Melanie: So what are because you just touched on, if we quite external circumstances with safety, were on a hiding to nothing, what are the other common mistakes that men and women make that means they end up driving each other away or apart? Allana: Making their choices somehow a personal statement against themselves. So lets say, Honey, I really want to go out golfing with the guys this weekend. One choice is, Im really drunk. Oh my God! Hes going to leave me. Hes going with another woman. Or Well, whos he think he is? I take out the trash and I do the dinner and [indiscernible] [0:39:33]. Theres always ways of reacting to this request or you could go, Wow! That sounds like lots of fun to be with the guys, have an amazing time. I think Im going to go to the gym or Im going to go hang out with the girlfriends or Im going to take care of me. Hes like, Wow! She didnt kill me off. Curious. And then you go have a breath. Honey, Im home. And youll be all juicy from having taken care of yourself or even just making mud pie in the backyard. Youre just a dork and had fun. He comes home and youre like, How was it? Was it fun? Hes like, Oh, she didnt kill me. Oh, its amazing. And then all he wants to do is like, this is the good man, he wants to just love you and serve you and give you pleasure and buy you flowers and do all these nice things because he just wants to be able to exist and not be killed off. Really. Like really, I love men so much. I have so many male clients but theyre very pretty simple that way. And if hes not a good man and he doesnt really care about you, then why are you with him? OK? So a good man will, when you give a good man use his freedom well, I guess is what Im saying. Vice versa is true as well. There can be insecure men and the woman wants to go out and go to pole dancing classes like me or whatever, and the he goes, Well, shes shining too much, shes going to get a lot of attention. Better bring her back in.
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And so for those, he would take her decision to go do these things as, Well, Ive obviously not good enough in the bedroom because she needs to go pole dancing or maybe Im not sexy or maybe shes pole dancing for some guy or like hell do this thing. No. Men go, Oh honey, youre just getting hotter by the year. I just how did [inaudible] [0:41:10]. We walked in this restaurant and oh, shes with me. Hi, baby! Like play with each others expansion. Its not personal. And then you can be the space for each others evolution and you get to share in that together. And at least for the couples I worked with, when that allowing and honoring of each others authentic desires, when theres room for that and if there needs to be negotiation because you got to take care of the kids or financially that doesnt work, you negotiate it. You make it work. Dont squash it. You dont go, Well, thats not going to work. Like, How does this work? I hear she chose that, How can we make that work for us both? When you stay in that and support one another, it tends to make both people more expanded and the love deeper because think about it, we got two people and your auras or your energy or whatever gets bigger and bigger, it overlaps as well as it goes out in the window. Your intimacy is better. Your respect is better. Your trust is better. Your deliciousness is better. And youre more fulfilled and alive and giving to the world and receiving from the world like its two better people. Sometimes, pretty rare, but maybe like 20% of the time, it actually you expand so much, your path has take on another path and youre not together any longer. Its rare but its possible. And in that case, it wasnt because you did anything wrong to each other. You can bless each other and be grateful for each other for the chapter that you shared and wished them the best and they wish you the best and its not this acrimonious kind of breakup. Its, I soared because of you. Wow! You loved me that much that you risked losing me because you love me and you trust the universe will always provide and youre a choice and you can create another relationship. Wow! Thank you. Melanie: Imagine if businesses are run like that as well. Allana: [Indiscernible] [0:43:03].
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Melanie: So, coming back to you mentioned this a few times, your pole dancing. Can you hear me? Allana: Yes, I can. Melanie: OK. So I was reading up a post from you and you were not only expressing the actual experience but what it caused you to reflect on in terms of you, just the learning slowdown and so on, can you say it in your words? And when you were describing that, I thought its the same in business as well. Can you sort of just describe that in your own words? Allana: Sure. This is just like last week. I realized that Ive never yeah, I put cream on my body or I do my hair or whatever. But they were asking me to, lets say, this is my leg, as I was stretching down to my toes, they ask me to feel along my body all the way down to my foot. I dont do that. I might do that to turn you on, right? But not to it, thats an external thing. I have never done it just for my own pleasure and if I did, it will only be like masturbation pleasure. That would be it. It would be, have a goal like just orgasm like that. But just to touch my leg, I had no clue the pleasure just for me, just for fun of touching and slowing down and it made me cry because I realized how much self-love have I been withholding to myself. How much have I been seeking approval on the outside and not just giving it to myself? How much have I been racing through life accomplishing the next target then the next target then the next target rather than just enjoying the moment? And how much have I judged the touching of my leg as bad? Thats just a little kinky. Just all this awareness that me I mean Ive been teaching this sensuality, sexuality kind of feminine power myths for 15 years and guys at least good three years and now couples. But I as this humble student realized, Oh my God! There is a whole other level of self-celebration, self-pleasure, knowing my [indiscernible] [0:45:50] sense the true reverence sense and that template of, Im enough. The moment is enough. And joy and allowing of the fullness and richness of having pleasure, not needing to get him to like me or do the thing to get the pleasure right here right now. Its having peace directly translates into having actually, you should read the post, what is today, whatever, the last one I just Melanie: Today is the 6th.
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Allana: Im having peace with my ex-husband. I mean I dont know if youre following my post but he just made a call last March wanting to take Gabriel away from me. He didnt like me much. And were totally getting along really wacky. But I think its all connected to this willingness to have life work, have [inaudible] [0:46:42] have to be good and not like a thought, a real embodiment. I was really embodying it and dancing. I mean as we would do push-ups. It wasnt just do push-ups, it was let your breast grace along the floor. How hot is that? Its like youre [indiscernible] and Im like oh. I mean wait a minute. I have little moment from A to B with pleasure but then half of it is like go, go, go, go. What if I like stop this staccato way of living and just let the whole thing become this fluid, yummy place? And then I got to say, I closed a really big client the other day. So its attached to the money as well. Its connected to the willingness to have no matter what everything else, no matter what you say, all of those, destroy everything. And just let yourself have because from the fullness of all that, oh my goodness, we can make such a bigger difference and we can have so much more fun while were at it. Melanie: Yup. I cant wait to go out and have some more fun now. Beryl: What I hear from you, Allana, is total lack of judgment and we all think in principle, yeah, its good not to judge. But Ive never heard anyone quite like you, Allana for being for not at all in any way. Its been fascinating. But you just sound like you are so totally free of judgment or youre certainly working massively towards that. Allana: Thank you. I used to walk in a room, Beryl, like 20 years ago and have so much self-judgment that within three seconds Im like, Well, shes got a better necklace on than I do. Or Shes got a pretty pink top and I dont. Oh God! Maybe you guys will get the guy before I do. I would just be like freaking out, totally insecure completely. Literally, I couldnt even sit without going, Well, thats my nose. Maybe thats a better no, I like this better angle here, OK. Like I couldnt sit [inaudible] [0:48:53] pulling your stomach. Like I was a mess. Totally externally got to be safe, got to be safe. And yeah, that didnt work for me and Im a very courageous woman and Im unwilling to stop until well, Im unwilling to stop. Theres no [inaudible] just keep like whats possible? Whats possible? Whats possible? Like its got theres always more. Theres always more.
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And I have met a lot of my demons, a lot of my insecurities, my jealousies, my damsel in distress that I didnt want to admit was there, husband number one, Bitch, Im going to take care of it all. Youre not going to control me. Husband number two, that was me, I was trying to do the control thing because the damsel didnt work. Lets try the bitch to see if that works. No, I mean Ive there are lots of [inaudible] [0:49:38]. Beryl: Well, its just been absolutely fascinating. Nearly an hour, weve talked with you. It feels fast. And I know that we could go on for another hour except that time is not going to allow for that. But weve already pinned you down to promising to come back, Allana. Allana: Oh, its my pleasure. Yes, you are wonderful and I would love to come back. Beryl: And tell us about your website. We have a link underneath if people want to go and theres lots of goodies in there that people can get hold of, so tell us a little bit. Where can people find you? Twitter, Facebook? Allana: Sure. On Twitter, its @allanapratt and Allana has two Ls so A-L-LA-N-A P-R-A-T-T. Facebook is the same, /allanapratt. Youll get then the link to my site on there. There are tons of different sign ups so you can get delicious news that were talking about and just being in the world for free. But there are books, there are CDs, there are DVDs, curriculum, there are my memberships where you get to talk to me on a regular basis in a very inexpensive way. There is private coaching. There are all the ways I can think of. I just launched a program with Dr. Dain Heer so thats in there. Lots of good things. Just take action. A lot of the products have like do the first chapter for free so you can double. So Im not going to force you into anything. You can make sure if its for you. But the bottom line is if you take an action, the universe steps up. It doesnt work the other way around. We have to step and it will join us. But we cant wait. You have to choose. So choose something that resonates with you and it will love you. Beryl: Allana, this has been absolutely beautiful. I havent contributed very much because there was nothing for me to ask. You just beautifully just
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share it all. I wish I could be a little bit more like you but Im going to work on it. Melanie: Thats why we need her back. Beryl: Yeah. Its also easy for us, Brits. But thats OK. You can educate us, Allana. You can educate us and certainly, we will be coming back to talk to you again very soon. So thank you. Allana: Thank you [inaudible] [0:51:52]. Thank you. Beryl: Its been our pleasure. Its been our absolute pleasure. So thank you everyone for tuning in to todays episode of http://www.WiredforSuccess.TV. We would just like to mention before we wrap up that if youre watching this episode on our site, then please comment in the box below and leave any thoughts and questions there Allana will come along and answer them for you. If youre watching this on YouTube, then please subscribe to the button above and if youre listening to this on iTunes, please subscribe to our podcast channel https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/wiredforsuccessspodcast/id566108797 and feel free to post a Review there.

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http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv and join our newsletter for updates and content by adding your name and email.

If you head over there, there will be a transcript of this episode too. We reply to all comments and suggestions and we would love to hear from you. So thank you for tuning in. Remember to tune in for the next episode of Wired for Success where we help you to master the seven areas of life.

So from me Beryl and my co-host Melanie and from our interviewee Allana Pratt, we bid you farewell and next time. So, if you would like to say goodbye.

Copyright: Wired For Success TV 2013 All rights reserved. No part of this transcript may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, unless full credit is given to wired for success TV and a link back to http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv is included in the use of the material.
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Disclaimer All the material contained in this transcript is provided for educational and informational purposes only. No responsibility can be taken for any results or outcomes resulting from the use of this material. Whilst every attempt has been made to provide information that is both accurate and effective, the authors do not assume any responsibility for the accuracy or use/misuse of this information.

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