Funny short stories

by STEPHEN on APRIL 27, 2012 300 CO MMENTS in FUNNY J OK ES , SHO RT STO RIES

The child and his mother:

A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey? The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey! The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.

Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preachers wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here. Wife,

Wills experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Will couldnt find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadnt shown up on the carousel. She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands. Then she asked Will, Has your plane arrived yet?

Clever kids:
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem. A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said Radar Trap Ahead.

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boys accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading TIPS and a bucket at his feet full of change.

Do you know any short but very funny stories? Please share below
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Additional Reading...

Give time to our family The mouse trap Military Story: True Friend Be Content About Your Life My mom only had one eye

{ 300 comments read them below or add one }

NEXT COMMENTS

1.An Economist April 28, 2012 at 12:28 am

Funny storiesthanks!!
2.Anonymous April 30, 2012 at 3:58 am

hahaha funny stories..

3.Tirupathi April 30, 2012 at 9:04 am

It was very funny and I will share with everyone.

4.Rence May 1, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Hahahaha great! Surely its funny

5.Stephen May 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

A funny story involving a cop and two ladies: There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over. What did I do wrong, officer? the driver asked.

You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH. But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26! That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isnt the speed limit! The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw another woman sitting beside her, she looked as pale as a ghost.

What happened to her? the officer asked. I dont know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160.
6.Stephen May 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

A man carrying two huge suitcases to meet with a circus boss to apply for a job. The boss asked: What do you know?

The man took out some big stones from one of the suitcases, threw the stones high in the air and used his head to catch the stones. The boss nodded. Great. What is in the other suitcase? Painkiller!
7.Stephen May 3, 2012 at 10:35 am

How much does it cost to get married? A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? The father replied: I dont know son, Im still paying.
8.Stephen May 3, 2012 at 12:16 pm

A college student is deeply in love with his classmate but he doesnt know what to do to get the girls attention. One day, he came to ask the girl for help with his assignments and the girl agreed. Happily, he came to sit next to the girl the next day and took out a book pretending to read. After a little while, the girl asked: You must be a genius. How can you read a book upside down?
9.Zillu May 4, 2012 at 11:38 am

Awesome
10.Aryan May 5, 2012 at 4:15 am

The officer thought that he was clever

11.Pratham May 13, 2012 at 6:28 am

good story

It was wonderful. Thanks

12.Pratham May 13, 2012 at 6:33 am

HAHAHAHA! Thank you very much.

13.Klea June 1, 2012 at 1:53 am

The teacher asks Jimmy: Teacher: Jimmy: pencil; he Jimmy, I doesnt have why dont a pencil; arent has we dont you a have a writing? pencil. pencil.

Teacher: Jimmy, thats not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I dont have a Jimmy: Who stole all the pencils then?

14.Mlungisi June 2, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I like these stories, they keep me laughing and happy as i share

15.Havemore Nyambe June 4, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Super jokes. They make my world go round. Keep this up always.

16.Hendra June 4, 2012 at 11:46 pm

BIG LOL
17.Stephen June 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Two young boys conversation: Johnny: What makes the baby at your house cry so much, Tommy?

Tommy: If all your teeth were out, your hair off, and your legs so week you couldnt stand on them, I guess youd feel like crying yourself. 18.Stephen June 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm Teacher: Let me hear how far you can count.

Eugene: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king.
19.Stephen June 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Teacher:

hope

didnt

see

you

looking

at

Freds

book,

Tommy.

Tommy: I hope you didnt, too, sir.

20.Liliana June 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Bobby practicing karate on a dummy (a life-size doll):

Bobby: Bobby: Dummy: Ow

Lets Ow Whos

begin! Ow I the

shouted kicked the

Bobby wall dummy

HA instead! now!

21.Lulunatic June 13, 2012 at 7:54 am

3 men died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car youll get. The first guy was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari. The second man fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. The last guy cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter. One day the guy on the scooter saw the guy in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, Why are you crying?

He answered, I just saw my wife on roller skates.

22.Ally rose June 19, 2012 at 11:26 am

I loved the wrong email one. I think it was the best but I also liked the first
23.Buffon June 20, 2012 at 5:38 am

At night, a thief came in and stole a madmans tv and dvd. On geting out of d house, d madman wakeup and chase d thief. Afta 2 hrs race, d thief gave up, he start pleading but d madman replied ~Dont worry, i wanted to give you d remotes~
24.Buffon June 20, 2012 at 5:50 am

A drunkard stammers out of a bar and ran into 2 priests. He ran up to dem and says, ~ Im Jesus Christ~. The priests reply ~No son, you are not.~ The drunk says, ~Look, i can prove it~ and walk back into d bar with d priests. The bartender takes a look at d drunk and exclaim, ~Jesuse Christ, you are here again?~
25.Antara June 21, 2012 at 7:01 am

Cool website. Keep up the good work.

26.Saul Samson June 23, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Wow, am sick but you are making me happy.

27.Lois Caminade June 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I like the drunk guy and priest one and the teacher and Jimmy but I like the clever kids story the best
28.Ken wa Nyabuto June 25, 2012 at 4:35 am

Woh!!..the funny stories are xo hilarious. Keep up & thanks.

29.Sexyjane June 26, 2012 at 3:30 am

So funny
30.Nhiebu tsrho June 28, 2012 at 7:01 am

Realy lyk it.:)

31.Aakriti June 28, 2012 at 8:38 am

Very humourous! Thnx a BUNCH!!!

32.Tujebway July 4, 2012 at 10:17 am

I like the Jimmy and Tommys, and the wife on trip. Ha ha haaa!.
33.Pradnya Oberoi July 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Very nice
34.LalaLucy July 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Mia, Cathy, Edward, David and John all decided to go for a walk in the jungle one day. Upon their stroll, they came across a pit of quick sand. It was way too long to jump over, and much too wide to go around. It had already taken them an hour to get this far, and none of them wanted to turn back. What are we going to do? asked Cathy. Just as she finished her sentene, a genie appeared. Dont worry, he said. You can all walk across the quick sand without sinking, as long as youre not gay. So, first Mia went across, and she didnt sink. Then Edward walked across, and he didnt sink. Then Cathy walked across, and she didnt sink. The three of them then looked back to find Johns neck deep in the quick sand. John, youre gay? asked Mia.

No, he stated David is holding onto my pants!

35.Ayman July 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried. Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.

Husband: It is ok honey, it was just a dream. Wife responded loudly: That is why Im crying.
36.Ljeoma July 26, 2012 at 6:41 am

Nice one there

37.Almansor July 27, 2012 at 3:31 am

Great keep up the good work.

38.Babi July 29, 2012 at 4:53 am

haha funny good

39.Tripulee August 3, 2012 at 1:31 am

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they met a sign that said: Disneyland left. So they started crying and went back home.
40.Shaqe August 3, 2012 at 4:16 am

Hahahaso funny stories tnx

41.Aakira August 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Super like
42.Vicky August 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

It is very nice and funny

43.Seth Tha Bom August 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Funny much.
44.Shiqran August 10, 2012 at 1:24 am

I enjoyed this website very much.

45.Salinda from sri lanka August 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Here are my favorites: There was a couplethe lady was very talkative and she kept talking with people on the phone hour after hour when she is alone at home.

End of everymonth they used to get a massive telephone bill and the husband was so worried on this. One day they were dining at the table and the phone rang.. The ladys reaction was immediateshe ran to the phone and started chatting.. After about 30-min she hang up and came back to the table.

The husband was happy that she hang up in 30 min which was a good sign where she normally doesnt hung up at least for 2-hours. So he happily inquiredwas she busy to hang up so early??? No..it was a wrong number.. replied the lady..
46.Hashinda August 14, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Thanx, its beautiful and funny.

47.Robinson August 15, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I just love all the jokes here but so in love with the mad man joke.
48.Nobody August 21, 2012 at 6:39 am

Love these short stories! I have a teenage daughter and shes always browsing the web for something to get her entetained, seeing as she came out of a relationship. Im glad that I will tell her about this!
49.Zubu August 26, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Wow really funny, I like them thanks!

50.Miriam (mimi) August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

These are so so funny, I just cant stop laughing. Thanks to all who participated to came up with this.
51.Angel Tiara August 28, 2012 at 3:16 am

Guys I fell off my bed laughing.

52.Aha August 31, 2012 at 6:07 am

All were very cool.

53.NILO September 5, 2012 at 6:27 am

FUNNY
54.LOL September 10, 2012 at 2:41 am

Alien invasion. Tom: OMG. the staffroom has been invaded by these horrendoou creatures. Megan: Tom: You mean Yes-these more horrendous carry than the last bunch? slips.

detention

Megan: Mo wonder.
55.AAHA September 10, 2012 at 3:41 am

Wow lol, it is a very funny, great website. Keep up the good work!!
56.Real Man September 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

Want to hear a joke? Womens Rights! Did you hear about the woman who got hit by a car? My question is, how did the car get into the kitchen? How do you fix a womans watch? You dont, theres a clock on the stove! Why are womens feet smaller than a mans? So they can stand close r to the sink! Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead! What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile!
57.PRIYA September 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I just love these jokes.

58.Kenzy September 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Cool jokes, keep up the creative work.

59.Ka Vyrux September 14, 2012 at 2:10 am

Indeed they are funny.

60.Agawine September 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Nice, very nice. I like funny stories. I like the madman and wrong email and also the 1st one. Thx.
61.Anupa September 18, 2012 at 2:48 am

Once a dumb man had to buy a hammer. He went to the shop and asked for the hammer by hitting on a table with his fist.

Now a blind man had to buy a scissor. Think how will he get it from the shopkeeper? No guesses! If so remember that the blind man can speak
62.Thimira September 21, 2012 at 4:19 am

Nice work..very funnywill submit more in the future

63.Thimira September 21, 2012 at 4:38 am

One husand came home drunk in the night. He needed use the toilet as soon as he got to the house. Then he did it and went to sleep. Next day he woke up and went to his wife Husband: Darling, yesterday I felt something different when I was using the toilet. The door of the toilet has to be pulled. And also there was an autumatic light when I opened the door

His wife thought for a while and went to check Wife: OMGnext time please check whether you are going to use the toilet or the refrigerator
64.Rajkumar Singh September 23, 2012 at 4:01 am

So nice funny stories, it makes to forget all the sadness. Thanks a lot.
65.Matt September 24, 2012 at 11:22 am

lol these are so funny. The leading hand santiser can kill up to 99.9 % or germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of what ever he wants lol
66.Ols September 25, 2012 at 7:04 am

Two bold headed guys were fighting over one comb

67.Kanishka September 28, 2012 at 12:30 pm

An 80-year old man walks into the doctors office for his regular check-up. The doctor says to him, Ahh, Ted, how are you feeling? Great, says the old man. I have an 18-year old wife, and shes pregnant with my child. The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Ted, Ted, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and one early morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots to the ground. What?! cries the old man. Why? thats impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion. Exactly! says the doctor.
68.Dotty October 1, 2012 at 2:31 pm

lion. He aims at the lion with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam! The lion falls dead

Nice change of pace. I was just drifting around not really doing anything, that was fun. thank- you!!!
69.Love_Babe_sumsum October 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

WHO FARTED?

There were three men: one called German, another called France and the last called Bellman. The 3 have a competition on who could stay the longest in a pig farm. German went in first and after two minutes, he came out saying the pig farted, the pig farted. France came in and after 10 mins, he came out shouting the same thing. Bellman went in and after 20 mins, the pigs ran out saying Bellman farted, Bellman farted Enjoy
70.Ronald October 3, 2012 at 2:35 am

These jokes cool off stress.

71.Thimira October 4, 2012 at 4:48 am

Yepvery cool .
72.Evo October 5, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Maam, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: Id give it to you but I dont have one. Officer: Dont have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I seeCan I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I cant do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer please!

2:

Maam,

could

you

step

out

of

your

vehicle

The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, maam?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you maam, one of my officers told me you didnt have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
73.Stephen October 5, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Man at restaurant: Excuse me waiter, could you come here? Waiter: Is everything okay?

Man: Everything is fine, but would you please try my soup? Waiter: Im sorry, sir, we really cant do that. Man: No I wont say anything, please try my soup. Waiter: Well, is there something wrong with the soup?

Man: No, but will you please try the soup?! Waiter: Okay, okay Wheres the spoon? Man: Ah-hah.
74.Thang hoang van October 6, 2012 at 6:38 am

These are really great jokes stories, and I think the man at restaurant is the best.
75.Thang hoang van October 7, 2012 at 1:03 am

There a couple live in an apartment, they have married for many years, but they still live without children, the husband does not know how to make a child, so he decided to get some advises from the man living next the door. The man was very happy to help and said: first, you should buy her some perfume, some shampoo, and take my telephone number. The husband asked: And then? Tell And You And Ill come to your home and help you make a should go out, and call me by your her take a bath, then take some perfume then phone. then child.

76.Tibebe solomon October 9, 2012 at 9:18 am

Thanks, you made me feel over the moon. Keep up the good job.
77.Master October 9, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Joker joining the Army: Officer: Joker: Officer: Officer: only Officer: on do it We Ill Ok. Ok. under Ok. need join what What the What shed is or is but you on are the some your kind in three the second of third the army. conditions. conditions? condition? shadow cover.

Joker: My first condition is that Ill not wear the uniform because it is hot.

Joker: Ill not do the perade and other training under the sun because it is hot. Ill condition? leave.

Joker: And my last and most important condition is that during war times, Ill remain

78.Simran October 9, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Hahaha! Very funny, got me laughing all day. Thanks.

79.Gemunu October 10, 2012 at 1:53 am

These are the most funny stories I have ever seen so thank you very much for keeping me enjoyable.
80.Ralph Jude (Nigeria) October 11, 2012 at 11:15 am

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology? The sailor said no to all his questions. Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy. After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no. Sailor: Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.
81.Bazie October 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

I love this site.

82.Chance October 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Why it sucks to be an egg:

1. 2. 3. You

You You share

only only a box

get get with 11

laid eaten other

once once guys

4. But worst of all the only chick that ever sat on you was your mother
83.Miss Danielle October 15, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I love all the stories!

84.Tarun October 16, 2012 at 2:26 am

Superb jokes
85.Frescilakilu October 16, 2012 at 3:03 am

Very impressing!
86.Anju October 16, 2012 at 5:20 am

Really funny Hahahaha..

87.Adie of Sabah October 17, 2012 at 1:01 am

Hahaha and hahahaha damnnn funny.

88.Mahesh October 17, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Very, very good jokes.

89.Teresa Chlorine October 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lions cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacke t and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing Ive seen a man do in my whole life. The Harley rider replies, Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.

The reporter says, Well, Ill make sure this wont go unnoticed. Im a journalist, you know, and tomorrows paper will have this story on the front page So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have? The biker replies, Im a U.S. Marine and a Republican. The journalist leaves. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page: U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH .and THAT pretty much sums up the medias approach to the news these days
90.Qweerrty October 19, 2012 at 3:59 am

Super! These jokes are very good.

91.Okoth Allan October 20, 2012 at 10:10 am

Sooo nice for one who may feel out of place.

92.SWAMI October 20, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Sailor and professor- awesome!

93.Evans G Nzambu October 22, 2012 at 8:23 am

Fabulous jokes, am greatly amused.

94.Jam October 22, 2012 at 9:24 am

I loved the jokes- The child and his mother, #7, 17, 39, 61, 67. They are really great, keep it up!
95.Apeluisa October 22, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Thanks a lot. Cheer my day. I am sick and these helped.

96.The Monkey October 23, 2012 at 7:39 am

A drunk man fell in a well and people came to save him but no one could enter the well to bring him out. Later, one man came up with an idea to throw the drunk man a rope to try to pull him out. When the rope hit the drunk mans head, he angrily shouted: Pick your own well man, I am bathing.

97.Aleena October 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Girl: Boy:

Dont If the

follow goal

me, keeper is

already there wont

have we

a try

boyfriend a g oal???

Think Positive My friend messaged me this

98.Stephen October 23, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Once upon a time, a boy loved a girl and proposed but the girl said no. and and.. and.. the boy lived happily after
99.Ladylibra Sinulingga October 25, 2012 at 9:52 am

Sooo funny! I love that assology crocodilogy story. Still laughing for bout 20 mnts now
100.Shailendra October 27, 2012 at 7:37 am

Really funny!
101.Anush ram October 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Once a boy expressed his love to a girl and the girl replied: If I remove my s lipper your face will enlarge.

The boy cooly replied: If I remove my pant zip, your stomach will enlarge.
102.Rachit Diwan October 29, 2012 at 5:56 am

These are really good stories.

103.Hovagim October 29, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Once there were three boys who went to the park, their names were: Shut Up, Manners and Trouble. Trouble got lost so Shut Up told Manners to wait while he went to ask the police for help. The police asked, What is your name? He said Shut Up, then the police yelled, What is your name? He said Shut Up, then the police asked where are your manners? The boy said out in the park. Then the police asked, Are you looking for trouble? Then the boy said, Yes, how did you know?
104.Gantsetseg October 29, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Really funny stories

105.Pshu Lam October 30, 2012 at 12:38 am

Had a great time laughing..!:D

106.Ali Bukhari October 30, 2012 at 11:35 pm

An inbound sales officer was working at his terminal in a large office building with floor-to-ceiling windows. As a funeral procession passed on the street below, he stood at attention and bowed his head. A passing colleague noticed the officers actions and said to another, What a kind, thoughtful thing to do! I dont know, said the other. Its actually the least he could have done. What do you mean? They would have been married twenty years next month.

107.Afifa Noor October 31, 2012 at 9:22 am

It was very fun to read them but some of them I did not understand, but laughed, they were all very funny.
108.Anna November 1, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Yay
109.Dechen November 3, 2012 at 12:30 am

I likelogy funnylogy storylogy It makelogy melogy releasilogy my tenslogy..ewww

110.Nelson Aman November 3, 2012 at 4:01 am

The teacher asked his students to draw a ring and as expected, all drew objects with circular shape. However, one little boy drew a square. Why did you draw a square? The teacher asked. Mine is a Boxing Ring, sir. The boy replied.
111.Leah November 4, 2012 at 11:39 am

LOL these are sooo funny, keep up the funny jokes.

112.Manya November 5, 2012 at 5:02 am

Ha It Thanks

was

Ha

very

Ha

funny.

113.Vulture November 6, 2012 at 12:06 am

So nice funny stories. Enjoyed a lot. More please.

114.The Monkey November 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Once upon a time, a man from America, a man from Nigeria and a man from China were involved in an argument. Chinese man: My country is the most improved country in the world. The day you conduct election, the next day you will know the winner.

American man: It is a lie, it is a lie! My country, the day you conduct election, that day you know the winner. Nigerian man: As far as I am concerned, you are all joking. In my country, before the actual election, we know the winner!!!
115.Hubba Bubba November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

One day, a girl named Suzie was listening to a song on her Ipod, when another girl named Malissa overheard her. Malissa: *sneers* That song is so old! Suzie: *laughs* Yeah, well so is your mom and you still listen to her!
116.Naomibhf November 8, 2012 at 4:50 am

OMG. I have heavy depreassion and have not laughed in months. Now I cant stop laughing.
117.Richi rajesh November 8, 2012 at 5:25 am

Now I am student of jadavpur..

118.Neha November 9, 2012 at 7:57 am

Awesome jokes, I just loved them.

119.Nevra Oma Cara November 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Loved all these funny stories and jokes!!! They made me laugh till I fell off the bed. Keep it up guys!!!
120.Dark Justice November 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

The teacher asked, What is the chemical formula for water? A student raises his hand and answers, HIJKLMNO!! The teacher, puzzled, asks, What on earth are you talking about? Student answers, Yesterday you said it was H to O!

121.Stephen November 9, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Little Johnny: Its H2O. Teacher: Good! Can you tell me the chemical formula for ice? Little Johnny: Its H2O cubed.
122.Stephen November 9, 2012 at 6:11 pm

A chemistry professor wanted to teach the 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. Now, class. Observe closely the worms, said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, as happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment? the professor asked. Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded Drink whiskey and you wont get worms!
123.Kgotso maBuela November 11, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Hey you, laughed the h*ll out of me. I gotta say well played. I like this Blog.
124.Dionne Carlo Camosa (Philippines) November 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm

LOL! This is such a nice blog! LOL!! I sent some jokes to my teammates and they were laughing out loud. gotta share this blog!
125.Irfu November 12, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Once a Japanese came to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a taxi and asked the driver to take him to the airport. On the way, a Toyota car passed them very fast, the Japanese yelled Toyota made in Japan very fast. Then the Mitsubishi passed, the Japanese again yelled Mitsubishi made in Japan very fast. On the 3rd time, he yelled again when he saw another Japanese car. The taxi driver got angry but he didnt say anything.

When they reached the airport, the taxi driver asked a charge of 800 rupees. The Japanese exclaimed: What! That is too much. The Indian driver yelled back loudly: Meter, made in India, very, very fast!
126.Yohana November 12, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Very interesting stories, I like them.

127.LaMatt November 12, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE! The next morning when his wife woke up she looked out the window to find a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. B Bob has been missing since.
128.Irfu November 13, 2012 at 3:16 am

Once I was travelling in a taxi, the taxi driver said: I am very happy with this job. I am my own boss and nobody can order me what to do. Then I said: Take left.

129.Irfu November 13, 2012 at 3:59 am

Santa: Chemist: Santa I cant showed

I sell him until his

need you have wedding

poison. prescription. card.

Chemist: Enough, will u make me cry? Which one shall I give. Big bottle or small one? 130.Irfu November 13, 2012 at 5:23 am Wife to husband: Darling, doctor suggested me to go to Switzerland or Paris for relaxation, where shall we go?

Husband: Other doctor!

131.Stephen November 13, 2012 at 5:56 pm

A:

Arent

you

wearing

your

wedding

ring

on

the

wrong

finger?

B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

132.Stephen November 13, 2012 at 5:57 pm

A: B:

Doctor,

will

be

able

to

play

the

piano of

after

the

operation? course.

Yes,

A: Great! I never could before! 133.The Giant November 14, 2012 at 12:46 am Nice Stories!
134.Senorita November 14, 2012 at 1:03 am

Nice jokes, enlightened my mood.

135.Ntaganda Alfred November 14, 2012 at 9:41 am

These stories are very important to people mostly in my country where most people were not able to laugh as they used to before genocide happened in Rwanda. I surely enjoyed these stories cause they let me forget the trouble of life we live in here. Thanks a lot for your ideas of bringing this to ease us sometimes.
136.LOL November 14, 2012 at 10:44 am

Awesome!!!!!!! Love this blog!!!

A college proffessor comes up to a religious student and asks him: Can you feel God with any of your five senses? Student replies: No Professor: Then He is not there! Student replies: Can anyone feel your brain?
137.Nathan k Serem November 15, 2012 at 10:38 am

Its funny I lyk it.

138.Anonymous November 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt. The captain was asked, Why do you need a red shirt? The Captain replies, so that when I bleed, you guys dont notice and arens discouraged. They fight off the pirates eventually. The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, Get me my brown pants!
139.KATEY AND LOGAN November 16, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Once we sat in a classroom full of kids OMG

140.Saad kayani November 17, 2012 at 11:39 am

Doctor: Patient: Doctor:

How So a

did I car

your

car was came in

accident your

happen? turning way!?

Patient: No, actually there was no road turn.

141.Great Indian Jokes November 18, 2012 at 7:25 am

Historians from US, UK and India were trying to boost how developed their ancient civilization used to be.

UK historians: We dug and found out copper cable led all along major ancient cities, this concludes we were using telephones since long back. US historians: Thats it!! Dude, we dug and found out optical fiber. We were much more advanced in telecommunication since long back. Indian historians: Pity on you people, actually we dug and dug deep, but found nothing. This of course concludes we were using wireless communication since that era.
142.Reethika November 18, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Very, very nice.

143.Manmath November 19, 2012 at 3:26 am

Great mind refresher

144.Gangstaking54 November 21, 2012 at 11:52 am

Very funny especially the one about the boys in the park, I was laughing a storm to that one & no I did not make hurricane Sandy as a result, it was mother nature, blame her with her green teeth.
145.Adams Kano November 22, 2012 at 12:56 am

Thanks for all the great funny stories, I like them all.
146.Ddawn November 22, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Mothers Worst Nightmare Dear mum, I am writing you this note to say that I havent been honest to you lately. I have a boyfriend, his name is Dragon and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy. I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant. His friends will come over all the time so I can get a little frisky with them. We will make a living out of growing drugs and selling them to Dragons friends as are both already drug addicts, we will live a life of drugs and beer. Wish Katie us luck

P.S. I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was a lie I just wanted to let you know there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the top drawer.
147.Joseph November 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm

One day as I was at a Chinese shop, there came a student who was on her vacation. Excuse me sir, do you have any vacancy? asked the girl. The Chinese man while looking at the things he was selling, said: Ah madam, vacancy no have, only have vacuum.
148.Rifat November 22, 2012 at 9:27 pm

A man was riding on a helicopter. He told his assistant to throw something off. He threw a ball. He saw a kid crying he asked the kid why you crying he said a ball hit me. He went on the helicopter again the boss told him to throw something off he threw a pinapple he saw a kid crying he asked the kid why you crying he said a pinapple hit my cat.

Then he got back up and the boss told him to throw something he threw a bomb!! He saw a kid laughing he asked the kid why you laughing he said my grandma farted so badly she blew up the house!!!

(*grandma farted at the same time the bomb hit the house*)

149.Ernest November 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

A guy asked a girl to plug him mango on a tree, the girl did as the boy asked When the girl got home she told her mom about itMom I climed a mango tree and pluged one for a guy. The mother said, I hope he didnt see your panties. The girl replied, No mum I was clever I took the panties off before climbing.
150.Samuel Daniel November 23, 2012 at 5:41 pm

This is GREAT and AWESOME! I shared some immediately. That Professor and Sailor story set me laughing for hours. Thanks.
151.Ericoni November 24, 2012 at 8:09 am

Enjoyed your stories. Cant stop lmao.

152.Baha Obma November 24, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I am so like, wow, never have I been so fascinated. I like the zoology swimology one Keep the fire blazing.
153.Ash November 25, 2012 at 1:40 am

Mind refreshing !! We guys should add more masala (spice) to it. Wonderful!
154.Millie November 25, 2012 at 10:41 am

Thanks! Really funny!

155.Satti November 26, 2012 at 2:15 am

So funny
156.Anonymous November 26, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Nice ones. I liked the sailor and the professor one.

157.Sree November 27, 2012 at 6:34 am

Superb
158.Alova November 27, 2012 at 8:23 am

jokes.!!!!!

Its so good. These stories are fun!

159.Princess November 28, 2012 at 9:12 am

Your jokes where superb

160.Shreya November 28, 2012 at 9:27 am

I love these stories because they give us some meanings. I am in class 6. I love these stories. I am from Nepal. I love my country. There are many moral stories in Nepali.

161.Onyii November 28, 2012 at 10:54 am

Woooooow cant stop laughing, they are awesome.

162.Lerato November 29, 2012 at 5:05 am

Awesome stories, keep me out of breath!

163.Myk November 30, 2012 at 8:59 am

Wow nice story

164.Kader November 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I cant stop laughting!!! Specialy The professor and the sailors story. Come on guys add more.
165.Chity December 1, 2012 at 7:58 am

Cock: Hen: Cock: Hen: Cock: Yes, really. I can

I Laughs, do me what

love ha anything shall I for do for

you. ha you. Really? you?

Tell

Hen: Give me eggs..!!!!!!

166.Hasitha CJ December 4, 2012 at 3:49 am

Wow superb. Maxa jorks. Thanks every1 who present these storys. I enjoyed very well.
167.Shradha December 4, 2012 at 9:48 am

Hahaha !! Love everything Everything is awesome.

168.Kally Achumi December 4, 2012 at 11:33 am

I really laugh out loud lol specially like that clever kidz story.
169.Pooja December 5, 2012 at 8:47 am

Wow I love all the stories, very funny.

170.Charly December 5, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Blonde Jokes Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day?

A: Lend her your bottle of shampoo that says lather rinse repeat.
171.Irfu December 7, 2012 at 5:37 am

Grapes: Watermelon: Orange:

I Hmm, Uh,

look I I look

like like look

eye mans like

ball. head. b**bs.

Banana: Can we please change the topic!?

172.Stephen December 7, 2012 at 11:58 am

One day a woman was waiting for a bus. It comes and she walks in and the bus driver says Wow, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen! So the women sits down and she says to the man next to her The bus driver just insulted me! The man says You go talk to him, just go, lll hold your monkey for you.
173.Roxygirl123 December 8, 2012 at 11:27 pm

One day, 4 people were on a small aeroplane, a captain, a priest, a boy scout, and a smartest man in the world. They were all eating a nice meal until the pilot came out and said, This plane is about to crash. Grab a parachute and jump! The pilot then grabbed a parachute and jumped off. The smartest man in the world said, I need that parachute, the world needs my knowledge and so he ju mped off.

The priest said, Boy you take that last parachute, the world doesnt need me, I am just What? the priest. an old priest. The boy scout said, No, what are you talking about? There are 2 parachutes left.

It is correct, the smartest man in the world took my backpack. responded the boy scout.
174.Andrew December 9, 2012 at 3:49 am

Its really interesting, especially the illiteracy, dieology story.. laughed the stress outta me.
175.Justine ( Philippines ) December 11, 2012 at 10:55 am

LOL very nice.. I really liked the last joke.. Haha

176.Boru wario December 11, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I am from Ethiopia I like it, so funny story!

177.TJ December 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Nice jokes
178.Mackenzie December 12, 2012 at 2:31 am

There were a cowboy, an Indian and a stupid guy. They all went to this cliff that says if you jump off it and say something you will become it.

So the Indian jumped off and said fish! and he turned into a fish and fell into the lake below. This cowboy jumped off and said eagle! and he turned into a eagle and flew away. The stupid guy was about to jump but tripped and said, CRAP!
179.KFC December 12, 2012 at 3:49 am

Three construction workers were eating lunch on construction beams some stories high. One was Mexican, another was Italian, and the last was American. Each was upset about the same lunch they always got: the Mexican tacos, the Italian spaghetti, and the American sandwiches. So, the Mexican said, If I get tacos for lunch one more time, I will jump. The Italian then said, If I get spaghetti for lunch one more time, Im gonna jump. The American then said, If I get a sandwich for lunch one more time, Ill jump.

The next day, the Mexican got tacos, the Italian got spaghetti, and the American got a sandwich, so all three jumped from the building. At their funerals, the three wives were seen attending: The Mexicans wife sobbed, If I had known he didnt want tacos for lunch I wouldnt have have packed made it him for any! him! The Italians wife cried, If I had known he didnt want spaghetti for lunch I wouldnt The Americans wife said, Dont look at me, he packed his own lunch!
180.Raj December 12, 2012 at 6:55 am

Very nice comic stories and I wish to say thanks.

181.Aparna December 12, 2012 at 7:32 am

It was so funny
182.Demibillo December 12, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Haha really funny jokes guys. Listen to this! 17 blondes lined up outside a nightclub and a guy with his girlfriend asked one of the blondes: Why are you standing out here? A blonde replied, You have to be 18 to get in. haha
183.Anupriya December 14, 2012 at 6:11 am

If animals have Facebook / BBM / WhatsApp, these are most likely to be their Status Updates: Cockroach: Managed to skip from some ones foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle! Dog: My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her? I dont even remember

Mosquito: I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking. Pig: Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu WTF!! Goat: Friends, dont go out, Eid is coming soon. Chicken: If tomorrow theres no status update from my side, means Im being served at KFC.
184.Anupriya December 14, 2012 at 6:13 am

The Importance of the BRA: Q: zeBRA Q: coBRA Q: algeBRA Q: liBRA Q: aaBRA Q: BRAhmin Q: BRAss Q: BRAd Q: BRAnch Q: BRAnd Q: BRAcket Q: A room where BRAs are kept? Puctuation bra? Marketing BRA? Botany Anjelina Jolies Bra? Pitt BRA? Metallic bra? Magical ka Religious BRA? daBRA BRA? Sunsign BRA? Mathematical BRA? Poisonous BRA? Which is the striped BRA?

LiBRAry Q: Bra which became the American President and inspired the whole world? aBRAham Q: BRAke AND U THOUGHT ONLY WOMEN USE BRA, How BRAin less.
185.Anupriya December 14, 2012 at 6:14 am

Lincoln bra is very important for any vehicle?

Which

Height of Surprise:

A boy after spending great time with GF, saw a guys photo in her bag Asked: . . . GF kissed him said no dear thats me before surgery..
186.Jummy December 15, 2012 at 5:02 am

Is

he

your

x-boyfriend?

Loved this.
187.Leela December 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Interesting stories. haha.

188.Ayua December 17, 2012 at 4:58 am

Awesome source of laughter Its fun being part of your decades!

189.Philo December 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

hahahahah you guys are funny, thanx.

190.Chukky December 17, 2012 at 11:49 am

I cant help myselfI really need help to stop laughing..hahahahha..can someone come to my aid. This site is something else.
191.Viper December 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

A guy walked in a restaurant for breakfast and he sat on a chair and in front of him a nice round table. A waiter came to him in seconds. Waiter: Good morning sir what can I get for you? Guy: Good morning to you too and how much is a cup of tea? Waiter: 1 dollar and 50 cents.

Guy: And sugar? Waiter: We do not sell Sugar its free. Guy: Good. Bring 1 cup of tea and 2 Kilograms of sugar.
192.Viper December 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Father: My son I will have a nap, wake me up at 4 pm. Son: Father I am going to play football so if I forget to wake you up please come and remind me.
193.Viper December 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

An elderly couple was watching a show where a preacher was talking about the healing powers of God. To all of those who are ailed by some sickness, place your hand on the screen & I will heal you! the preacher exclaimed.

The old lady, who was having some stomach problems, placed her hand on the top of the TV. The old man placed his hand on the TV also, then stuck his hand deep into his pants. His wife looks over at him and says, Gordon, the preacher is talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead!

194.Viper December 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husbands car pull into the driveway. Oh My God Hurry! Grab your clothes, she yelled to her lover. And jump out the window. My husbands home early! I cant jump out the window! came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. Its raining out there! If my husband catches us in here, hell kill us both! she replied. Hes got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems! So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the towns annual marathon. He started running along beside the others about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. It wasnt that effective! After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer. Do you always run in the nude? one asked. Oh yes he replied, gasping in air. It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while youre running. Another runner moved alongside. Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?

Oh, yes our friend answered breathlessly. That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home! Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. Do you always wear a condom when you run?

Only if its raining.

195.Fluffman December 18, 2012 at 11:03 pm

There were an American, a Brittan, a French, and a Mexican. The pilot comes out and yells, The plane is going down, we got too much wieght! and grabs the only parachute and jumps out the door. The French man yells, Viva la France! and jumps. The Brit yells, Long live the queen! and jumps.

The American shoves the Mexican out and yells, Remeber the alamo!
196.Fluffman December 18, 2012 at 11:06 pm

There was a Canadian, an American and a Mexican riding in a taxi. The Canadian says, We have too many leaves in my country. and throws out a maple leaf. The Mexican said, We have too much sand in my country. and throws sand out the window. Inspired, the American throws the Mexican out the window.
197.Elizabeth December 21, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Love all, especially the one with a professor and a student. By the way, blonds are not stupid!!!
198.CupCake December 25, 2012 at 8:27 am

There was a guy waiting for a waiter in a restaurant. He waited for 2 hours, no waiter came, and finally a hot girl waiter is standing near the cashier Guy: Ummm excuse, is there any waiter here? Cause no waiter is taking my order Girl: Owww I thought you are the waiter?

Guy: Guy: What?!

What

no,

Im

customer

Girl: This is what I meant, you waited right, so that means you are a waiter
199.Someone December 26, 2012 at 8:21 pm

There

were

boys

named

Zip,

Willy

and

Pee.

They were playing in a schoolroom one day, Zip was on top of a large cupboard whilst Willy was inside the large cupboard breaking things. All the while Pee was dancing around being generally stupid. The teacher walked in and saw, she exclaimed, Zip down, Willy out, and Pee in the corner!
200.Yves December 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

You make me smile in bad moments. haha crazy.. <3

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