Scene Characters

A street Two Englishmen: Albert gusset and Harold Rose

The two men pass in the street.

Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Goodness me! Well I never! Herbert Bishop! Arthur Trigwell! No Actually my names Harold Rose. Im Albert Gussett, as a matter of fact. Albert Gussett. Of course. And youre Harold Rose. Of course you are. Well I never! Goodness me! They hesitate for a moment. Well, how are you, then? Fine, fine. Hows Alice? Alice? Yes, Alice. Your wifes names Alice, isnt it? No, no Gloria, actually. Oh, yes. Gloria Trigwell. Er Rose. Rose Trigwell? No. Gloria Rose. Gloria Rose. Of course. How is she? Shes very well. Hows er Doris? Yes, Doris, your wife. How is she? Oh, shes very well Good, good. - but she isnt my wife. No? Im not married. Oh. Doris is my sister. Oh, yes. They hesitate again for a moment. Well, it is a small world, isnt it, Herbert? Albert. Albert, yes. It seems like yesterday Yes, it certainly does - when we were at that awful school together. School? Yes. Doesnt time fly? We werent at school together. Do you remember that awful English teacher with black

teeth? Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett Rose We werent at school together. Werent we? No, we were in the Army together. We werent. Werent we? I was in the Navy. Oh. They hesitate again for a moment. Er Albert, I mean Herbert No, no, Alberts my name. Er, yes Albert, how do we know each other? I was just wondering about that myself, er Harold. Yes, Harold. Er Are you an architect? Yes! Are you an architect? No. Im a taxi-driver. Oh. They hesistate again. Are you interested in boxing? No, not at all. Ah. Do you go to the theatre? I went once about twenty years ago. I see. Do you take your holidays in Brighton? No, never. Mmm. Do you play golf? No, I dont. Well, thats not it then. They hesitate again. Rose Do you know, Albert, I dont think weve met before. Gussett Rose Gussett Rose Gussett No, youre right. We havent. Well, er Im Harold Rose. And Im Albert Gussett. How do you do? How do you do? They shake hands.