Riding Our Double Rainbows to Heaven

Experiences of LGBT Mormons of Color in the Modern World Presenter Fred Bowers

It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences. Audre Lorde, Our Dead Behind Us: Poems
African-American of Caribbean descent, writer, poet, activist, lesbian and feminist.

Why are we here? Whats the story? To begin to explore the stories and issues encountered by LGBT Mormon People of Color (PoC) in their daily lives. Why double rainbows? One rainbow references the variety of human skin tones, and The other rainbow references international LGBT pride.

What should you take away from this presentation?

A better understanding and appreciation for the lives of LGBT Mormon People of Color (PoC)

Learn to understand:
Unique challenges faced by LGBT Mormon PoC How to better interact with LGBT Mormon PoC Gifts, contributions, and diversity that LGBT Mormon PoC bring to the diverse communities to which they belong

Why and how did this project get started? A quick timeline December 2010
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons leadership meeting sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC).

October 2011
Affirmation LGBT People of Color (POC) and Allies group was started as a group of self-identified people of color and allies gathered to explore multiple identities and the intersections of race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, and LDS faith. Presentation featuring LGBT Executives of Color at Out and Equal Workplace Summit

February 2012
Closed Facebook group was created to encourage LDS LGBT POC to begin to find their voice in a world where they are often invisible unless they "speak their truth.

 Who Are LGBT Mormon PoC?

Definition Statistics

Unique Challenges Faced by LGBT PoC

Cultural, Social, Demographic Being an Out LGBT PoC Workplace and Faith

Questionnaire on Experience - Survey Focus: All LGBT

PoC from a LDS Background, active or inactive in the LDS Church Demographics Questionnaire Selected Responses

Who Are LGBT Mormon PoC? - Definition *Person of color (plural: people of color; persons of color) is a term used,
primarily in the United States, to describe all people who are not white. The term is meant to be inclusive among non-white groups, emphasizing common characteristics of life experiences LGBT PoC are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals that are non-white LGBT Mormon PoC are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals that are non-white and are members or former members of the LDS Church

Who Are LGBT Mormon PoC? - Statistics

Key US Statistics LGBT POC
US Census numbers on PoC : 23% (71.5M) Most of the conservative research estimates LGBT population to be at 5-10% of the total population Estimated LGBT PoC population: 3.5 million Challenges in figuring out actual numbers since lot of LGBT people struggled to come out and that situation is even worst in People of Color communities Overall, there is very few research and factual data available for LGBT PoC

Key US Statistics LDS

Total membership of the LDS Church at the end of 2010 = 14.1M. * Religious Composition of the U.S. Mormons = 1.7%** Racial and ethnic composition of Mormons**: 86% White (non-Hispanic) 3% Black (non-Hispanic) 1% Asian (non-Hispanic) 3% Other/Mixed (non-Hispanic) 7% Hispanic Total Non-White = 14%

* Source: NGLCC

* Source: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Statistical Report, 2010 **Source: Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life / U.S. Religious Landscape Survey: Religious Composition of the U.S. and Race by Religious Tradition

LGBT Mormon PoC are a VERY small group in all communities.

Unique Challenges Faced by LGBT PoC Cultural, Social, Demographic

Constant dilemma Gay first or Asian first? Black first or Lesbian first? Or Native American first? LDS first or gay first? LDS or Hispanic first? Influence of faith and religion Family, LDS Church and societal expectations regarding marriage, children Lack of community and LDS Church education and awareness on LGBT topics Lack of visibly out and successful role models Economic disparities

Unique Challenges Faced by LGBT PoC Being an Out LGBT PoC

Traditional dilemma of all out Gay members Safe companies and LDS Church environments to be out Lifestyle perceptions Social inclusion in work and LDS social circles (social interactions, couples social events at work and church) Club inclusion Business community and local community outreach Perceptions by customers and LDS Church members Judgments by non-LGBT PoC Assumptions by non-POC LGBT

Unique Challenges Faced by LGBT PoC Workplace & Faith

Identity crisis Minority within a Minority Unique issues and challenges in coming out at work and coming out in a LDS faith setting Mentoring for LGBT PoC at work and in LDS faith settings Executive sponsorship at work and LDS Church leadership support Lack of out role models in both work and faith settings More chances of lack of visible participation in LGBT affinity group and other related events Racism, homophobia and transphobia create disproportionate job bias against LGBT people of color and in LDS faith settings

Questionnaire on Experience - Survey Focus: All LGBT PoC

from a LDS Background, active or inactive in the LDS Church Survey Focus: All LGBT PoC from a LDS Background, active or inactive in the LDS Church Divided into two parts: Demographics Experience

Questionnaire on Experience - Demographics

Name (or Fictional Name) Gender Age Diversity Identification (Ethnicity/Sexual Orientation) Marital/Partner Status Education LDS Church Background Convert?: Yes or No Current or Previous Callings Out at Work?: Yes or No Out in a LDS Faith Setting?: Yes or No Currently Attending LDS Church?: Yes or No

Questionnaire on Experience - Questions

Are you out in a LDS Church setting? If you are out, when did you come out? Are there specific events that led to your decision to come out or not to come out in a LDS Church setting? How has your ethnicity effected your coming out or not? How have you been treated by Church members and leaders as a result of self-identification (or non identification) of your LGBT designation? What has been the effect of your relations at Church on your partner, spouse or significant other?

Questionnaire on Experience - Questions

Do you have advice or lessons learned that you would like to share with other LGBT PoC on your racial/LGBT journey in your LDS faith life? What have been your challenges in the Church as an LGBT Person of Color? How has coming out (or not coming out) affected your callings in the LDS Church? Has it changed how you interact with LDS Church members? What are some success strategies you would like to suggest for LGBT PoC in the LDS Church? For those who leave the LDS Church? What are some ways the LDS Church can provide more organizational support for LGBT PoC?

Survey Replies - Demographics

Number of Replies Gender Age Diversity Identification (Ethnicity/Sexual Orientation): Marital/Partner Status Education LDS Church Background Convert? LDS Church Background Current or Previous Callings? Out at Work?: Out in a LDS Faith Setting?: Currently Attending LDS Church? Six (6) Male, Gay Man Oldest = 54; Youngest = 18; Average = 37 Ethnicity - African American; Mexican American; Asian Pacific Islander; Tri-Racial - Black, Italian and Puerto Rican; Latino; Moreno and Native American Sexual Orientation Gay, Bisexual, Homosexual, Gay Man Single = 80%; In a four year committed relationship = 20% Bachelors, Masters, Associates Degrees; High school graduate entering college; University student; College Graduate No = 50%; Yes = 50% Ward Choir Director, Sunday School Teacher, Gospel Doctrine Teacher (over 20 years ago), 1st Assistant to the Bishop Aaronic Priesthood, Returned Missionary, Mission Leader, Primary Teacher, Elder Quorum First Counselor No = 17%; Yes = 50%; Not applicable = 17%; Unemployed =16% No = 33%; Yes = 50%; It is now a non-issue = 17% No = 75%; Yes = 25%

Survey Replies - Questions

Are you out in a LDS Church setting? If you are out, when did you come out?:
Carlos, Ale No James - Age 30, in 1988 Paxty - Id always been out ... ever since I was a little boy ... Never felt the need to hide who Im as a Gay Man Dyson - I came out in April 2010 Fred - I am not out in an LDS Church setting, however I am currently considering returning to LDS Church activity and am seeking a ward that will welcome me as an openly African American gay man. When I was previously active in the church, I was in the closet and not out. Carlos - After I 'came out' to myself, I had a conversation with a 'friend' from my stake. When asked why I was inactive, I told her. When told, she proceeded to walk out of the fast-food restaurant, changing her mind about eating in the same place I was at. I knew, then, there would no chance I would be welcome back to Church now that I'm 'out'. James - The San Francisco Chapter of Affirmation Gay & Lesbian Mormons Dyson - I felt I needed to be honest with myself to feel alright. Ale - Seeing stories with my extended family (who are members) about how gay marriage and civil unions were opening up in more and more states I saw the disdain and disgust on their faces and knew I'd never be able to come out to them my cousins (their daughters know though) Fred - As for a specific event, I see the current environment established by groups such Mormons Building Bridges and the BYU USGA as catalysts for a greater understanding within the Church of those who are LGBT. I hope that the Churchs willingness to gain more light on this subject increases tenfold.

Are there specific events that led to your decision to come out or not to come out in a LDS Church setting?

Survey Replies - Questions

How has your ethnicity effected your coming out or not?
Carlos - It did not affect it, as members of the ward treated me as the same race as my family, whom are white. James - Not at all. Ale - Not at all. Most of my family is liberal old Catholics so they support me the only thing that is different about my ethnicity is that people have a preset idea of what a gay/bi black man is and I don't fit it. Paxty - Id always be myself (Gay) Dyson - Not really. Fred - My ethnicity is important to me as I grew up in Texas and grew up in a working-class black neighborhood, attended all-black schools and attended a historically black college for a few years. My LDS home is the Washington DC area, an area that is very accepting of diversity. Over the years, my view of my coming out has changed. I am out and stay out not for my own sake but for the sake of future generations of LGBT people of color. Carlos - Most older than me have ostracized me online. Only a small few my age or younger are okay with it. One guy my age blocked me on Facebook when he realized I would continue talking about gay issues on my page. Ale - None in a church setting know unless we're close friends but hey all know I support LGBTQ people in every way. They even know that I went to Pride Paxty - I think I never allowed anyone to treated me different because of my sexual orientation ... From a very young age I learned that we teach people how to treat us and that resonated with me ... Dyson - I don't feel so... James - Since I am no longer a member of the Church, after 14 years this question is now mute. Fred - I joined the LDS Church while I was in the military and attended military and multicultural wards. Since I was not out during this time, I did not have much interaction in this regard.

How have you been treated by Church members and leaders as a result of self-identification (or non identification) of your LGBT designation?

Survey Replies - Questions

What has been the effect of your relations at Church on your partner, spouse or significant other? Do you have advice or lessons learned that you would like to share with other LGBT PoC on your racial/ LGBT journey in your LDS faith life?
Paxty - None... Id only been in one relationship with a non LDS guy for 5 years.. However, my relationship with him never had any effect on me been LDS Dyson - I have had mixed relationships with my boyfriends. Ale - Honestly just live your life enjoy the time you have and NEVER let anyone take away what makes you special. Paxty - I think that my saving grace was that I remain myself ... Ive always listened to my own inner voice.... Dyson - When you are [ready] to come out, be prepared to find out who your true friends are. Fred - Be a signpost.. it takes personal courage but consider starting and continuing to share your story as a LGBT Mormon of Color lives change for the better for other LGBT Mormons and allies because of your willingness to share your story. Future generations of LGBT Mormons of Color will look for stories from previous generations for hope in their journey your story becomes a signpost in their journey to understand their whole self. Carlos - My coming out in the Church appears to be the same as those not POC. I, along with other POCs in my ward and stake, did experience racism when I was active and not out. James - No challenges; No effect in San Francisco Singles Ward under Bishops Roberts & Wade; I do not discuss my sexuality with LDS Church members. Ale - My challenge has mainly fighting with the moral side of what Im doing because its being drilled in to my head that any form of homosexuality is wrong. But I know I was born this way and I would never choose this life. I love it and hate it at the same time. Like the church it makes me stronger but makes life hard as well. It really hasnt effected my church calling yet but it will when I come out at some point. I do feel like Im living a lie at church and Ill have to deal with it sooner or later. Dyson - You feel that there is [no] one you can relate with and talk to. Especially living in Salt Lake City, you have many who are gay, but they are suppressing and they don't want to talk about it.

What have been your challenges in the Church as an LGBT Person of Color? How has coming out (or not coming out) affected your callings in the LDS Church? Has it changed how you interact with LDS Church members?

Survey Replies - Questions

What are some success strategies you would like to suggest for LGBT PoC in the LDS Church? For those who leave the LDS Church?
Carlos - They should know that theyre not the only LGBT POCs in the Church. LGBT orgs. for POCs should be aware that there are LDS amongst them. James - I see these as two different issues. In either case: show unconditional love; For those who leave the LDS Church- this will vary from person to person depending on whether or not their friends, family, co-workers are LDS. If you want to stay in the LDS Church, join Reconciliation (if you live in Utah). If you want to keep LDS ties, join Affirmation Gay & Lesbian Mormons. Ale - N/A. and for people who leave the church if you honestly love the church and know its true think about coming back as rough as it is to hear and see the things people say the ends do justify the means. Paxty - Always be yourself !!!! Dyson - Be honest with you and come out when you feel that you are ready. Don't stay in the closet too long. Look for support groups and those you can truly confide in. Fred - For both groups, I suggest continuing to focus on developing a network of friends that will love you for the unique person you have worked so hard to become. Carlos - The Church should start by stop treating us as sinners. They should apply that to all, regardless of race. James - Stop treating LGBTI as "confused heterosexuals". Ale - Stop condemning people. Church is supposed to be a place of love. There is enough hate everywhere else. Paxty - This is a hard question, but I have to say that church members need to be less judgmental + more compassionate towards LGBT members Dyson - A support group that helps them be comfortable with themselves rather than trying to change them. Fred - Be willing to passionately and consistently expand their knowledge and understanding on the issues of ethnicity and sexuality and take proactive action to move the church forward in this regard; Create safe spaces worldwide where LGBT LDS members can meet to openly discuss their experiences

What are some ways the LDS Church can provide more organizational support for LGBT PoC?

What have we talked about? LGBT Mormon PoC and the unique challenges and issues they face Explored the stories encountered by LGBT Mormon People of Color (PoC) in their daily lives What are some next steps you should take? Reach out to a LGBT Mormon PoC and have a conversation with them about:
Unique challenges they face How to have a better interactions and conversations Gifts and contributions they have made to their multiple communities

May we look for every opportunity, therefore, to decrease isolation, increase inclusion of all, and enrich our lives with this diversity of human sociality within the bonds of unifying doctrinal beliefs. Like the international art exhibit of the Church museum, let us find linkage through love and through Christ and His gospel. May the happy result be the emergence of unity in diversity. May we enjoy the happy circumstance of the Book of Mormon era when there were not to be found any manner of -ites. (4 Ne. 1:17.) Elder John K. Carmack Of the Seventy Unity in Diversity, Ensign, March 1991

Acknowledgements
Active and former LGBT Mormons of Color that chose to participate in this project Eternal thanks to all of you for making this project come to life Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons - LGBT People of Color (POC) and Allies Group Robert Rees - For being the respondent for this session Sunstone Ellen and Mary Beth for their gracious help during the journey Bruce Carver and Sameer Samudra - For their Developing LGBT People of Color (PoC) Employees presentation at Out and Equal and allowing me to use material from it The Big Four Accounting/Consulting Firm I work for and Out and Equal Workplace Advocates For fostering an inclusive work environment at my consulting firm Harry Knox and Sharon Groves former and current Directors of Religion and Faith Programs at Human Rights Campaign National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Creating Change Institutes

Background Slides Riding Our Double Rainbows to Heaven

Presenter Background/Contact Information

Name: Fred Bowers Age: 52 Birthplace: Fort Worth, Texas LDS Background Ordained as an Elder: August 1986 Temple Endowment: November 1988 Wards: Eielson AFB Alaska Ward, Suitland Maryland Ward, Washington DC Capitol Hill Ward Community Service Background Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons Member since since early 1990s; currently National/International Board Member and 2012 Conference Chair Serving in the leadership of several local and national nonprofits which focus on the following areas: HIV/AIDS, Diversity and Inclusion, and Spirituality Contact Information fabowers@aol.com OR fred.bowers@affirmation.org Cell phone number available via email