Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
11-19-97
Column1
“I am not a role model.” That’s what the National Basketball Association’s Charles
Barkley told viewers in a television commercial last year. Guess what, Charles? You are a role
model. Professional athletes, whether they like or not, set an example for our youths. In
Barkley’s case, unfortunately, that example promotes the use of violence to settle disputes.
Charles was recently involved in his umpteenth barroom brawl, throwing a man through a
window. The lesson: if you have an issue with someone, go right ahead and beat the hell out of
As if Charles had not done an adequate job setting a poor example, other prominent
athletes thought they would follow suit. Wil Cordero of the Boston Red Sox was arrested for
domestic abuse. Dennis Johnson, who played with the Boston Celtics during the championship
years, was also arrested for beating his wife. Cordero is currently in a legal battle while Johnson
has been put in a rehabilitation center. These two gentlemen are heroes to many young sports
Pointing the fingers at professional athletes, however, is easy. The limelight forces
individuals to bear a greater responsibility when serious issues are concerned. When the pros
screw up, their mistakes are very visible. But what about other people? Pro jocks are not the
only ones involved in domestic violence. The Bureau of Justice reports that a woman is beaten
every 15 seconds. Batterers do not fit a description either. They are husbands, boyfriends, lovers
and partners. They are also doctors, ministers, lawyers, and business executives. Many batterers
In 1994, a 35-year-old man named Harold was arrested for domestic abuse. Apparently,
he had jammed a pork chop into his wife’s face, telling her that she disgusted him. Harold’s
abuse was nothing new. One in five women who are victimized report being abused over and
over again by the same person. In the days that followed, Harold’s wife feared so much for her
safety that she finally called the police.
One surprising fact is that Harold, even after years of abuse, did not consider himself a
batterer. Each violent outbreak was seen as an isolated incident. Denial is a common method of
batterers to justify or excuse their actions. Beating your wife because dinner was not ready on
time just doesn’t seem justifiable. Just as unacceptable are isolating women from friends and
constantly questioning their worth. Emotional abuse often goes undetected, but can be as
Any logical person must wonder why domestic violence occurs. The schools of thought
are many, but there is some agreement. Some batterers are believed to be hardened criminals
who have convinced themselves that they are entitled to a degree of dominance in their
relationships. Others are thought to be suffering from psychological and developmental scars.
Experts have come up with universal characteristics for those who abuse. They are manipulative,
In one Maryland treatment center, a survey found that 75 percent of batterers had
witnessed some form of abuse in their childhood. Fifty percent had been victims of domestic
abuse. The moral of the story is that domestic violence is largely a learned behavior. But if this
behavior is learned, then physical violence would be widespread among our youth, who are most
abuse are increasing. One guidance counselor pulled into the school parking lot just in time to
see a boy slap his girlfriend across the face. One 16-year-old student from a different school was
asked his views on violence in relationships. The student responded that hitting someone was
wrong, but sometimes they ask for it. He added, “Violence is okay. Sometimes when she gets
out of line.” Imagine the world if everyone took this view. Imagine shades of black and blue.
Another high school student recalled an incident he had seen. A girl scratched and
clawed at a boy until he bled. As if she had failed to get her point across, she threw salt in his
wounds. In high schools across the country, students are smashing heads into windows, grabbing
hair, punching, yelling, and kicking. Where are these youths learning this behavior?
Domestic violence isn’t a problem that can be solved in a day. Solutions are, however,
available. Many women experience self-blame. They feel they are the reason for the violence.
Others remain quiet out of fear for their safety. Still others worry that they cannot survive
without their spouse. Women need to be strong. If they cannot tell the authorities about their
victimization, then they should tell friends who will do so. A problem that is not known will not
be solved. Once incidents of domestic violence are in the open, some options become available.
Shelters for battered women number in the thousands across the United States. Women need to
be aware that they have a place to go. For batterers, rehabilitation centers can provide a road to
The problem of domestic violence is too widespread. In a society where all people are
equal, no person should be subjected to emotional or physical harm. Relationships should foster
love and understanding. In the equation, violence does not have a place. If people act peacefully
and lovingly toward others, they are, in essence, setting the proper example.