joke 1 Some computer terms translated to BM, courtesy of someone from USM : Don't you think that computer

terminology in Bahasa Malaysia (or is that Bahasa Melayu or Bahasa Malaysia or Bahasa Melayu? sheesh...) is really weird? Cakera Keras = Hard Disk - Sounds like an olympics event to me. Tetikus = Mouse - Wonder what a big mouse would be called - Memondok? Papan Kunci = Keyboard - sounds like that wooden case where the Pak Guard keeps the keys to the school classrooms. Yeah...one big papan with a whole lot of kunci. CD-ROM = Cakera Padat Ingatan Melalui Pembacaan (CP-IMP) - Isn't that bit too much to ingat? Try pronouncing that without twisting your tongue or pausing to think. IMPs? Monitor = What's the term for this? KETUA DARJAH? Modem = Could it be called "PEMPEND" <-- PEModulasi, PENDemodulasi? Motherboard = "Papan Ibu" probably? Maybe the best motherboards can be awarded the "Papan Ibu Mithali" then? Sound Card = Kad Bunyi? Sound Blaster = Peletup Bunyi? Pipeline Burst Cache = Duite Garisan Paip Meletup? Local Bus = Bas Tempatan? Sounds good to me. VESA Local Bus = Bas Tempatan VESA? Flatbed = Katil leper? OR Katil Rumah Pangsa (Flat)? WWW = Sarang labah-labah Selebar Dunia (SSD)? Sounds quite convincing to me. Then what would you call daughterboards? Papan anak perempuan? That sounds a little kinky for me ) What about SIMMs and DIMMs and such...?
Wonder what would you call ink jets then What about "Plug and Play [tm]"? Pancutan Dakwat???

Hmmm..Plug and play....Cucuk dan Main???

Joystick = Batang Gembira or Batang Ria??

joke 2 An English teacher wrote on the board "Woman without her man is nothing" and ask his students to punctuate it correctly. the boys wrote..." Woman without her man, is nothing" the girls wrote..."Woman, without her, man is nothing"

joke 3 Suatu hari di negara Eropah diadakan satu pertandinganan iaitu menahan bau di dalam sebuah bilik kecil yang didalamnya dimasukkan 10 ekor kambing. Peserta pertama dari Amerika.. Baru 3 minit dia sudah keluar sambil muntah-muntah. Peserta kedua dari Jepun.. Baru 10 minit dia sudah pengsan. Peserta ketiga dari Afrika, baru 30 minit dia terus keluar dan muntah-muntah. Terakhir peserta dari Bangladesh... Baru 1 minit... 10 kambing itu keluar dan muntah-muntah

joke 4 The Best Parking A guy walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Japan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the guy hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the guy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the guy returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The guy replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" joke 5 LOVE according to "Finance People" I will CREDIT my love to you, if you DEBIT your love to me. I will record our romance in a JOURNAL and POST it into the BALANCE of my heart. I will keep your love in an ACCOUNT, based on DOUBLE-ENTRY. With this you will know whether the BALANCE is CREDIT or DEBIT from my love to you. Our romance is recorded in WORKSHEET.
Sometimes needs ADJUSTING ENTRIES in order to keep our love stable. TRIAL BALANCE shows that we are serious in each other, because the TOTAL of our love is actually one and equal. So we do CLOSING ENTRIES when we agreed to marry. PROFIT & LOSS statement, shows what happened then, let us see our BALANCE SHEET what are our ASSETS and LIABILITIES ?????????? Oh my god...........already have a dozen of kids....