Agreement, disagreement and ...

the English soul By Olga Mindrul, Moscow State University The way people agree or disagree in an argument or discussion varies in different languages. A lot here depends on the national cultural and traditional background of the speaker. The English are not as straightforward in expressing their opinion as Russians are, for example. The word which describes the English way of speaking and behaving in the best way is probably the word reserved. If you look it up in the dictionary, youll find a sentence that says it all: An Englishman is very reserved, quiet, always discreet (COLLINS COBUILD ENGLISH LANGUAGE DICTIONARY). George Mikes in How to be an Alien wrote in a humorous way about these typical features of the English, which are reflected in the use of the language: The English have no soul, they have understatement instead. Understatement in proposing, according to George Mikes, takes the form of I say would you". If it is an indecent proposal it is "I say what about". In agreement and disagreement one should remember about understatement as an important underlying principle of wording what you think. Agreement and disagreement are types of affirmation and denial in which the expression of JUDGEMENT or OPINION rather than the assertion of FACT is involved. It is all the more necessary not to offend standards of politeness when the other persons judgement is in question. AGREEMENT In agreeing with an unfavourable opinion, you may wish to qualify your agreement with an expression of regret, etc. His speech was boring / Yes, I am afraid it was.

I have to agree that it was. \ I must say I found it so.

In other cases, you can be as enthusiastic as you like in emphasizing your agreement. It was an interesting exhibition, wasnt it? Yes, it was superb/absolutely splendid!

A referendum will satisfy everybody. Yes, definitely/quite/absolutely/I absolutely agree/I couldnt agree more/I quite agree/ I agree entirely.

A referendum will not satisfy everybody. Definitely not/It certainly wont/You are absolutely right, it wont/ I agree that it wont. Its good practice and its good fun. Exactly. I feel I ought to give her a hand Oh, quite, quite. I must do something, though Yes, I quite agree. There is far too much attention being paid to these hoodlums Yes I couldnt agree more. The public showed that by the way it voted in the General election Thats quite true. We reckon that this is what THEY would have wanted us to do. I think you are absolutely right. You can show that you agree strongly with someones description of something by repeating the adjective they have used and using "very" in front of it. You usually use indeed after the adjective. It was very tragic, wasnt it Very tragic indeed. The pacing in all these performances is subtle, isnt Oh, very subtle, indeed. Other ways of expressing agreement are: Thats just what I was thinking. You know, thats exactly what I think. Thats a good point. Partial agreement. If you agree with someone, but not entirely or with reluctance, you can reply I suppose so. I must have a job I suppose so. Thats the way to save lives, and save us a lot of trouble? I suppose so. If you are replying to a negative statement, you say, I suppose not. Some of these places havent changed it I suppose not.

Qualified agreement

In discussion and argument, there is often a need to agree with one aspect of a speakers view, and to disagree with another. Here are some of the methods you might use to express this sort of qualified agreement: Certainly its true that , but on the other hand I can see that. But surely I am in total agreement with you about but we also have to consider. Agreed, BUT if we accept then it must also be true that Corroboration We can also agree, and add a further point to corroborate or confirm the argument Yes, and in fact. Yes, and what is more I agree, and in fact one might go so far as to say Absolutely. Actually, I would go further, and say DISAGREEMENT Notice that you need to be very polite when disagreeing with someone in English even someone you know quite well. When you deny or contradict what someone else has stated, the effect is often impolite, unless the denial is qualified in some way. You can qualify it by an apology or by adjusting to the speakers point of view: English is a difficult language to learn. -I am afraid I disagree with you: some languages are even more difficult, I think. Or - TRUE, but the grammar is quite easy. Or -Yes, but its not so difficult as Russian. Or

-Do you think so? Actually, I find it quite easy.

The commonest ways to express disagreement are as follows: Yes, thats quite true, but Im not sure I quite agree. Well, you have a point there, but Perhaps, but I dont think that I see what you mean, but Rather than simply expressing complete disagreement, people usually try to disagree politely using expressions, which soften the contradictory opinion they are giving "I dont think so" and "Not really" are the most common of these expressions. It was a lot of money in those days Well, not really. Its all over now, anyway. No, I am afraid I cant agree with you there. People often say Yes or I see what you mean, to indicate partial agreement and then go on to mention a point of disagreement, introduced by but. Youve just said yourself that you got fed up with it after a time. - Yes, but only after three weeks. Its a very clever film. Yes, perhaps, but I didnt like it. They ruined the whole thing. I see what you mean, but they didnt know. Strong disagreement If you know someone very well you can disagree more directly using expressions like these: I cant agree with you there. You cant be serious! Come off it! Dont be silly! You should be very careful when using them, in order to avoid offending people.

Thats very funny No, it isnt. You were the one who wanted to buy it I am sorry, dear, but you are wrong. More formal ways

University education does divide families in a way I cannot go along with that. There would be less guilt which characterized societies of earlier generations. well I think I would take issue with that When it comes to the state of this country, he should keep his mouth shut I wholly and totally disagree. He wants it, and I suppose he has a right to it Rubbish. He said you plotted to get him removed - thats ridiculous. Learning to express agreement and/or disagreement with someones views and opinions can be part of assertion training, which has gained increasing recognition in recent years. Its aim is to help people express themselves more effectively and appropriately. The following three types of behavior are identified: 1. Non-assertive behaviour failing to express your feelings, needs, opinions, or preferences, or expressing them in an indirect or implicit way. For example, agreeing to activities you are not really interested in or failing to ask for a favour even though one is needed/ Statements like I suppose we could go to the cinema, or I wish I knew someone who could help me repair my car represent indirect or implicit statements in which the other person must infer what the needs and opinions of the speaker really are. One difficulty with this type of communication is that it is open to varying interpretations and is therefore easily misunderstood. 2. Aggressive behaviour expressing your feelings or opinions but in a punishing, threatening, demanding or hostile manner. There is little or no consideration of the feelings or rights of the other person. In addition, the person who behaves aggressively assumes little responsibility for the consequences of his/her action. E.g. Youd better lend me $5. You are going with me whether you like it or not. 3. Assertive behaviour expressing your feelings, needs, legitimate rights or opinions honestly and directly without being aggressive to others, without

infringing on their rights and without expecting the other person to read your mind. Assertive behaviour is not designed primarily to enable an individual to obtain what he/she wants. Rather its purpose is the clear, direct and inoffensive communication of ones needs opinions and so on. To the extent that this is accomplished, the probability of achieving ones goals without denying the rights of others increases.