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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Herald

Children can tolerate bad behavior without emulating it

Dear Annie: I grew up dont tell him myself. But in an extremely dysfunc- if he did learn about it, hed tional family. I have an be upset. Then again, hed older sibling who has hated also be upset to learn that the rest of us for the past 45 Im getting married. Should years. Family gatherings I tell him? Also, because my are extremely uncomfort- guest list is limited, should able events. Inappropriate I invite best friends? A barbs lead to physical fights, Ring on It young children cry while Dear Ring: We think the adults pretend nothing is you should tell your father, amiss, family members spy not only because keeping on one another, there is lots secrets can erode relationof back-stabbing, ships, but also beand some relatives cause you should are ignored while not be hiding who others are fawned you are. If you are over. My mother mature enough to allows her adult marry, its time to children to treat handle the fallout one another like from your father. animals and refusAs for your guest es to get involved list, invite those in the chaos. people you want to I am tired of have as witnesses this and will no to your union, prolonger let my Annies Mailbox vided you can afchildren witness ford to do so. these destructive behavDear Annie: This is a reiors. Please let other parents sponse to Feeling the Void know they should work to in Indiana. It was pretty make their home a welcom- brazen of him to claim to ing and loving environment. speak for all men when he Is there anything I can do said we feel incomplete to counteract the hostility without sex. at these gatherings? Too Ill admit that is true Old for Hate for a lot of men, but cerDear Too Old: You can- tainly not all. Im a healthy not force your parents and 30-year-old man with all siblings to behave in a civi- the normal biological urglized manner. The pattern in es. I also havent been in your family seems fairly well a romantic relationship in set, and no one else has much years and am completely interest in changing it. You sexually inactive and I are smart to realize that your feel fine about it. Thats bechoice is to stay or leave. cause I put my energy into Calmly explain to your other things like working family why you are walk- out and enjoying outdoor ing out (or not attending), activities. And I have a and make no apologies. We few friends who are as OK commend you for recogniz- without sex as I am. Sex is ing this dysfunction and not not the be-all and end-all of transmitting it to your chil- human existence. dren. But please consider As a last note, any man letting the children see who cheats on his wife or some of the relatives one- girlfriend is a cad, whatever on-one, under your super- feeble excuses he comes up vision. Kids are extremely with. Abstinent and OK tolerant of aberrant behav- with It ior in family members and can understand this is how Grandma is without emulating her. Dear Annie: Michael and I are a young gay couple pondering marriage. Gay marriage is not performed in our state, and we realize it would not be recognized here. Its the principle of the thing. A courthouse venue seems the most feasible, and I am wondering whom to invite. Michaels parents and siblings would most certainly be there, but I dont know what to do about my side. I have no siblings, and my parents are divorced. Mom is fully supportive, but my father doesnt know Im gay. I would prefer not telling him in order to avoid a conflict. My father would probably never find out that Michael and I are married if I

Tomorrows Horoscope
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 17, 2013 There is a strong possibility you might do something in the year ahead that will be of great import. Good luck will be vital to your enterprise, and youll have it in spades. ARIES (March 21-April 19) -- The more progressive you are, especially when dealing with intangibles, the luckier youll get. The same cannot be said if you bog yourself down in traditional methods. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) -- Your financial prospects look to be promising, especially if youre promoting something unusual. Dont be scared off by questions of expense. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) -Helpful contacts can be established through a club or professional affiliation. Whats important is spending some quality time with the right people. CANCER (June 21-July 22) -Things others deem too challenging wont intimidate you in the slightest. Being in tune with your inner self gives you the ability to do anything you choose. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) -- There is no need to treat your inspirations indifferently. Anything you imagine you can accomplish, if you believe in yourself. So have faith and get to work. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) -Dont be timid if you have to make a critical change. For best results, go full throttle and dont fall prey to second thoughts. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) -When change is called for on the home front, you should take your better halfs suggestions seriously. He or she is likely to spot some nuances that youre overlooking. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) -- Youll spot a new way to make some additional earnings. It might be similar to something that has been generating extra income for a friend. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) -- Should you happen to meet someone whom youd like to know better, make your intentions known. Dont wait for this person to make the first move. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) -- If you think the timing is right to wrap up a matter that could enhance your prestige and/or security, go for it. Stop dragging your feet. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) -- You could end up learning a lot by trying to teach something. If you have some constructive information to pass on, now is the time to do it. PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) -- The well-intentioned tips of others can often be of little value. However, should a family member or colleague tell you something today, it might pay to be a good listener. COPYRIGHT 2013 United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

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