February 2013 Free BrantAdvocate.

com
Local Content Locally Owned Locally Produced
February 2013 Free BrantAdvocate.com
Local Content Locally Owned Locally Produced
HAWK BELL
&
P U B L I C H O U S E
NOW OPEN
Eat Drink Laugh
Burgers, Gourmet Pizza, Pasta, Appetizers, & 11 Beers on Tap
Book your holiday parties Large Groups Christmas & New Years
75 Dalhousie St., Harmony Square, Brantford, ON 519-304-8229
(Inside Harmony Grill)
P
h
o
t
o
g
r
a
p
h
y

b
y

T
a
e

P
h
o
t
o
g
r
a
p
h
y
,

w
w
w
.
t
a
e
.
c
a
Capturing a moment,
a frozen frame of time,
allows us to experience
life through the eyes of
another. It opens our
minds, giving us a
different perspective
on the world we inhabit.
~ Adam Hislop, Atomic Spark.
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 2
Ive said it before: sometimes its hard not to focus
on the negative.
I watched with anticipation to see the results of the
Expositors annual contest, where they poll the
masses to find out the biggest news story of the year
in Brantford. In the end, the destruction of Hockeyfest
was the biggest newsmaker, winning by a wide margin.
Sad, and yet, not surprising. Certainly there were few
stories involving local people that were any louder
than the Hockeyfest debacle. The controversy
affected many in our community, from those who
missed out on the opportunity to see a favourite band
play, to all of those people who lost wages, ticket
money, or sales as a result of the shows cancellation.
Despite all this, its still disappointing when negativity
travels so easily to the forefront of our minds. Sure,
this wasnt the only upsetting news of 2012, what
with the number of job losses, tragedies, and general
disappointments that reared their ugly head from time
to time in the community. And yes, there were many
other local, provincial, federal, and global issues that
upset us as their images dominated each passing news
media report. For the pessimists of our community, the
ones who flock to whatever podium they can find to
rant and rave, the disappointments only fuelled their
unquenchable fire. While I cant produce the statistics
to back it up, I would suggest that the naysayers
provided more negative commentary about this
community, through extensive use of web forums and
social media, than any year prior to 2012. Rather than
use 2012 as an opportunity to try somewhere new
and get away from the community they so clearly
loathe, they chose instead to show their disgust for
anything they dont agree with.
A funny thing has emerged as a result of all of that
negativity though. As you observe the negative
discourse that surrounded discussions about the
community, a second narrative was also being
created. Its a narrative that is based less on past
biases and discussion of a time once perceived as the
good old days of Brant. Its a discussion where
people dont call each other names and fail to respect
the opinions of the person on the other side of the
issue. Not that those discussions dont still exist, but
they are becoming less the norm and more the exception.
The discussion that began happening was the one
going beyond the newspaper forums and social
media rabble. Its the level of discussion that was
going on during community activities, in coffee
shops, at our sporting venues, and in our institutions.
People were talking about this community using
facts, people, and events to make points in a respectful
and informative fashion. The discussions are allowing
people to learn more about this community and what
is happening here. In essence, this is a community
slowly experiencing a renaissance of positive dialogue.
I witnessed a conversation a few weeks prior to the
Christmas holiday, where two people took a negative
discussion about the South Side of Colborne Street
and turned their focus to the wonderful green space
that has been created, and the endless possibilities for
other new opportunities in the downtown area. Not
that long ago, few people I know could have had a
positive interaction about that community space. One
of the many examples I, and others, have witnessed
as we have made our way through this community.
Its difficult to pinpoint what was causing this
transition. I am sure there are prominent members of
the community who would like to take credit, but no
individual has the ability to do so. Its not an individual
happening, its a community happening. Its not
driven by an event, by a person, or by a thing. It
seems, at least to me, that it was being caused by an
inability to see all things Brant as negative. There are
just too many positive things that have been and are
being created, that can no longer be ignored. Its
become just too difficult to fail to appreciate anything
about this place that we live in. Yes, it finally seems
as if we may turn a corner and become a community
where people can enjoy their surroundings or, at
least, find something about our space that they truly
enjoy.
Perhaps this all began to bubble long before we ever
turned the page on 2012. But there is no mistaking
the fact that there has been an emergence of positive,
coherent, intelligent dialogue surrounding whats
important to us in the course of the past 13 or 14
months. Yes, we will continue to disagree with the
actions and reactions of those with the means to
change our community. And we will never remove
every negative and nasty opinion from our community
discussion. But 2012 has shown that we can at least
make progress toward a dialogue that benefits us all.
I hope that this will be the true lasting legacy of the
year that was, 2012.
The Lasting Legacy of 2012
by Andrew Macklin
Twitter: @AMacklin
I've never been the best judge of what's normal.
Many moons ago I missed that ship, and it's only now
that I'm becoming truly aware. Of course, the red
flags were present. For all of Grade 7 I refused to eat
with anything other than Korean chopsticks, including
at such exotic locations as Swiss Chalet. In Grade 10,
I would regularly wear full sleeve shirts with quarter
sleeve sweaters. And, when prom rolled around, I
insisted on dressing as a feminist flapper girl, despite
the fact that the event had decidedly no theme. All in
all, I really should have seen it sooner.
And yet growing up, the opportunity never seemed
to present itself. As an only child, I didn't have any
siblings to aggressively mock the weird out of me,
my friends throughout high school and middle school
just seemed to go with the flow, and in later years I
found that my teachers were exponentially stranger
than I could ever hope to be. To my great delight, it
would never foreseeably be an issue. I planned, much
like any slightly unorthodox individual, to move to
the city and simply blend. And I knew there would
be things waiting for me: comic book stores, vegan
cafes, roller derby tryouts and rolling protests.
Maybe, just maybe, I would have liked it, but as my
future began to align, it became perfectly clear that
I'd be coming here to Brantford. Equally clear was
the fact that this is where I wanted to be.
We sunbathe on our
driveway, pretend to be
airplanes buzzing down
the sidewalk, and sing in
public when so inclined
- all things I would
never have the guts to
do in Toronto.
It wasn't easy though. Laurier Brantford functioned
a lot more like a high school, back when I was in first
year, than a post-secondary institution. The classes
were small and the extracurriculars were hauntingly
minimal. Yoga pants and Ugg boots were the norm.
Everyone, it seemed, knew everything about everyone.
I found it difficult to blend. I know now that a lot of
people did. During my time here, I've met some
delightfully kooky and wonderfully out there
individuals. From people who spontaneously break
into broadway song and dance while studying, to
those who play board games on Thursday nights
instead of going out. My roommates, luckily, are of
just this variety. We sunbathe on our driveway,
pretend to be airplanes buzzing down the sidewalk,
and sing in public when so inclined - all things I
would never have the guts to do in Toronto.
We've even taken to calling Brantford the city that
doesn't judge. Unfortunately, for many involved
within this city, it may seem like a laughable concept.
Brantford non-judgemental? I'm sure I risk eliciting
some hearty laughs, but I stand by my point. I think
there is often an atmosphere of acceptance here that
is broadly overlooked. Sure we squabble and we
nitpick, but we're forced by proximity, geography
and possibly even curiosity to hear each other out.
Believe it or not, you don't see that everywhere. In
big cities it's easier to put blinders on and ignore the
people and ideas you find undesirable. We just can't
do that here.
We're locked into this together. Like Wesley with his
iocane powder in the movie The Princess Bride, we
too have slowly built up an immunity to what others
often find extremely unpleasant - approaching others
with an open mind. Although there will always be
naysayers, people who like to poke fun or sneer at
those who are different, Brantford has always had
more marvellous misfits than crotchety critics. A
place that's growing and changing, embracing its
oddness in all the right ways. In my mind it'll always
be a community where it's okay to be a little bit
weird.
The City that doesnt judge
by Leisha Senko
Twitter: @leishasenko
Because we understand how busy life can get!
At Mobile Registered Massage We provide quality massage therapy at your residence, business or event.
Traditional
Table Massage
A complete onsite service
brining the therapy of a
Registered Massage to the
comfort of your residence.
Convenient and accessibale.
1hr Treatment $78
45min Treatment $67
30min Treatment $49
Many programs are available,
ask your therapist for an advised
treatment regimen.
Table
Personal Maintenance
Post-accident Care
Birthdays
Bridal Events
Ongoing Therapy
Time Management Solution
Rehabilitation / Express
Chair Massage
A focused onsite treatment.
Gives the benefits of a Registered
Massage when time is at a premium.
Specially tailored for individuals
working in stressful environments.
Providing rehabilitation with a focus
on ergonomic reform and/or post
activity recovery.
25min Treatment $33
15min Treatment $22
Company / Institution sponsored,
employee sponsored, and co-pay
programs available.
Massage Chair Only / Three Person Minimum
Workplace Business Promotions
Corporate Events Conventions
Employee Benefit Fairs Conferences
Secretarys Day Grand Openings
Marketing Events Sporting Events
Birthdays Bridal Parties
Community Events Fund Raisers
BOOK ONLINE AT: www.MobileRegisteredMassage.com or call / text 519.754.8824
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 3
Give Peace a Chance
I do a fair number of speaking engagements each year
for schools, teachers and/or students, as well as all kinds
of organizations all over Ontario. Every single time that
I approach the speaking platform, I repeat to myself
something like this, Its not about you Zig. Remember,
youre not here to let everyone know what you think
you know. Youre here to stimulate thought and conver-
sation. Youre here presenting your opinions from your
perspective only, remember that. My conversation with
myself just before I speak reminds me to be humble.
I was asked to present to you the reasons as to why I
find history important. I decided to focus on First
Nations in particular, especially the Six Nations during
the War of 1812, and its 200th anniversary which
started last year and will continue until the end of 2014.
Well, let me start by referring you to my web sites
(Realpeopleshistory.com and warof1812rph.com)
which are loaded with all kinds of articles, information,
links and reasons for much of what I do. Take a look.
Ill wait a few minutes for you to come back.
Ok, lets start. Dont start yawning yet. A short book
definition of history is a cumulative knowledge of
past events. So what does that include? Well, in fact,
its about you. Its about me. Its about all of us. No one
can escape the fact that we are the sum total and living
breathing specimens of all our ancestors. Your ancestors
and mine somehow survived wars, plagues, massive
earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tidal waves and a myriad
of other things. Your ancestors and mine were actually
around, somewhere and maybe a part of, the building
of the Pyramids, the construction of the Great Wall of
China, the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, the
invasion of Europe by Napoleon and yes the War of
1812, WW1, WW2. So here we are. Everything,
absolutely every event thats taken place since the
beginning of person-kind has to do with you and me. In
fact, yesterday is a part of your history. This answers
the first question.
I became infatuated with
their history. As a first
generation Canadian I threw
myself into knowing as
much about our city, our
county, and our neighbours
as possible.
I am in Canada because my country, Poland, was ripped
apart by the Nazis and Soviets during WW2. My father
as well as many other immigrants, or displaced people
as we were called then, left Europe after the war. Poland
was taken by the communists and my family, those that
were still alive, spread all over the world. Australia,
France, England, the United States and for me and my
parents it was Canada. We took our first steps toward
our new home that turned out to be Brantford, at
Halifaxs Pier 21. Heres where I have to make a
potentially long story very short. As I was growing up,
I became extremely interested in those people from the
reserve that I later found out were the people from the
Six Nations of the Grand River. For the next 63 years
of my 65 and a half years on this planet, and in this
wonderful community of ours, I increasingly amassed
more information through lots of reading and over time
making many friends that either live on the Grand River
Six Nations or off the territory, but who are of
Haudenosaunee (Six Nations) bloodline.
I became infatuated with their history. As a first generation
Canadian I threw myself into knowing as much about
our city, our county, and our neighbours as possible.
So here I am. I love my new country. My parents are
both gone and buried in its soil. They, as many others,
came here for similar reasons and contributed a great
deal to its growth, making Canada one of the best, if not
the best place to live on this turbulent planet. I love my
community. My children, Shaylyn, Ryan, Daryl and
Tyler are now first generation Canadians. Im
determined to make a strong, positive and long lasting
contribution to my new home, without forgetting my
roots. Im determined to do whatever I can to bring
peace, to build positive bridges between our communities.
I want to leave a good legacy and not be a part of any
destructive force on any level whatsoever. I want to do
my part for my family and my community, expressing
my never ending gratitude to this country for taking in
my parents in their time of need.
Thats why I like history and why I feel its important.
Its the only way I can express being the best citizen and
human as possible. The recent War of 1812 anniversary
has garnered a great deal of public interest. I decided to
take advantage of this attention and my assumed knowledge,
putting it out there to help others understand the First
Nations the way I do. At least encourage many to look
at the Six Nations from a place of good information and
understanding. My new book War of 1812: Highlighting
Native Nations has only been out a few short weeks and
has sold nearly 2000 copies. Its very clear that people
want to know. I paid for the publication and had it
printed locally. I decided to do my part and spend my
money with the people that live here. I knew this book
summarized a fair bit of the knowledge I have accumulated
over the past years and it was a vehicle for sharing it.
We, the citizens of Brantford, Brant County, the Six
Nations and those of the Mississauga of New Credit are
distinct and beautiful fibers in a common tapestry of
mutually shared history. Though the First Nations have
lived here longer our paths have crossed and we now
share the future. Fear creates unpredictable results;
however, knowledge melts fear away. I want to be part
of that melting force. I want to help eliminate our
collective communitys fears and have us all live in a
better place. Thats why our history is important to me
and I challenge you to get to know us better, get to know
your-selves better. Should I say it? Okay, Im a baby-
boomer and have the right to, so give peace a chance.
by Zig Misiak
Facebook: Zig Misiak
YOUR ONTARIO PC CANDIDATE FOR BRANT
VISION
YOUR ONTARIO PC CANDIDATE FOR BRANT
VISIONEXPERIENCE
1882 studio portrait of the (then) last surviving Six Nations warriors who fought with the British in the War of 1812: (left to right) Sakawaraton a.k.a. John Smoke Johnson (born ca. 1792), John Tutela (born ca. 1797) and Young Warner (born ca. 1794). Portrait taken in Brantford, Ontario, Canada.
Photo courtesy of Woodland Cultural Centre.
Idle No More: A Movement whose Time has come
What began with four Saskatchewan women in November
2012 as a concern, then a title of a Facebook page and a
Twitter hashtag, has become a worldwide movement in
a matter of months. The collision of social media,
indigenous environmental concerns and
government deregulation legislation
has created the Idle No More
movement, the impact of which
has not yet been fully realized.
In response to bills C-38
and C-45, Jessica Gordon,
Sylvia McAdam Sayse-
wahum, Nina Wilson and
Sheelah McLean created
a forum to educate and
discuss the Canadian
governments new legislation
that would have a profound
affect on the environment of
Canada. Because the legislation
affects almost all lakes and rivers,
some situated on First Nation territories,
the bills garnered the attention of all
Ongwehonwe (Original Peoples) communities
across Turtle Island. And because Canadas highest
courts direction to consult and accommodate with
Ongwehonwe had been ignored, the voice of Idle No
More grew to epic volumes once the call went out.
The Huffington Post reported
recently that bills C-38 and C-45
are, in essence, Stephen Harpers
answer to a call by the petroleum,
gas and pipeline industries to modify
six critical environmental laws that
inconvenienced the signers industries.
A letter sent by the Canadian
Association of Petroleum Producers,
Canadian Energy Pipeline Association,
Canadian Gas Association and the
Canadian Petroleum Products
Institute also directs the govern-
ment to make progress on issues
associated with Aboriginal con-
sultation.
The Ongwehonwe response to the
Bills, which neglected treaty rights
and any kind of consultation and
accommodation, ignited Idle No More.
The grassroots movement danced its way
into malls during December, the busiest holiday
shopping time of the year. Chief Theresa Spence of
Attiwapiskat announced on December 11 that she would
embark on a hunger strike until the Prime Minister and
Governor General agreed to meet with First Nation
leadership. Although Chief Spences agenda focused on
her own communitys issues, she too had issue with the
impending Bills as they affected her peoples treaty
rights.
It took several weeks for mainstream media to focus their
attention on the Idle No More movement. Television and
local newspapers did not have it on their radar but Face-
book pages and Twitter feeds were lighting up with
references about where to join a flash mob and where the
next march would be.
During the holidays, I decided to visit Chief Spence on
Victoria Island in Ottawa. I was anxious to visit with a
woman who had decided to take such a drastic step to
gain the attention of the Canadian government to issues
of Native people. On Day 18 of her strike, I sat down
with her in her teepee and she told me the story about
coming to the decision which led her to Victoria Island.
As she spoke, I immediately understood her desperation
as she explained the other routes she had taken with the
government to no avail. This was her last resort. This was
all she had left. Her life. She told the story about telling
her daughter what she was going to do. Her daughter
cried, not wanting her to go away. Im coming home,
she said. Either way.
After 18 days, I expected her to be physically weak. She
was not. I could feel the strength of her spirit and
conviction. And that same strength was felt in the camp
and around the sacred fire where I sat and talked with
people who had travelled there from other Native
communities across Turtle Island to offer their support.
The connection we felt with one another was instantaneous.
No explanations were necessary. We had all experienced
the legacy of residential school and its inter-generational
impact. We had all experienced our rights being ignored.
We had all experienced being Native in a dominant
society. It is those adversities that bond us together. And
it is that bond that has taken the smoldering of the Idle
No More movement to the explosion that we see today.
Anyone can join the Idle No More movement. If you
drink water and want the lakes and rivers protected, this
may be the movement for you. If you think the environment
we live in is more important than plastic money, than
research what this new legislation will mean for you. If
you feel responsible to protect Mother Earth from any
more destruction, lend your voice to Idle No More. Find
out more information through their Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/IdleNoMoreCommunity
There have been questions asked from the public regarding
who is the leader of Idle No More. The movement is truly
a grassroots movement but founders have requested that
all activities be peaceful and include Elders for guidance.
Its fitting that the movement was founded by women
since in Haudenosaunee culture, it is the womens
responsibility to take care of the land. If you ask me,
there is a leader of the Idle No More movement and she
is the matriarch of us all, Mother Earth.
by L.M. VanEvery
Twitter: @LMVJournalist
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 4
You Just Never Know: Part II
In my last column we talked about beginnings, and how
sometimes beginnings are connected to events in our
past in nearly imperceptible ways. For example, I was
in the midst of relating to you how standing up to a
bully who threw erasers at my head every day in Grade
9 led me directly to my career in social work, one of my
deepest friendships and also connecting me to my
wonderful life partner Rebekah.
Thats a pretty important Tuesday morning!
So to quickly recap, I stood up in class and swore at this
much older, bigger and stronger bully. We were kicked
out of class. I told him off again when he threatened to
beat me up. We were marched down to the office
aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnd ACTION:
We arrive in the office and were immediately whisked
away to separate rooms. My room was the vice-principal's
office, but it wasnt the vice principal who walked in
(thankfully as she scared the bejeezus out of me).
Instead, in walked a woman who introduced herself as
the schools Child and Youth Worker. I had no idea what
this meant, which is ironic as I later became a CYW and
now teach CYWs at the college level. At the time, all I
could think was that this woman was sent to make
children and youth work. Was this my punishment?
Well thats not how it worked out. Instead she provided
me with a little bit of counselling, told me I shouldnt
of sworn but also told me I was kind of brave for sticking
up for myself. She then explained that the person who
was bullying me might have been going through some
stuff himself.
The name of that CYW was Flora Ennis. Flora is now
the Director of Childrens Mental Health Services at
Woodview Childrens Mental Health and Autism Services.
Fourteen years after that random Tuesday morning I
bumped into Flora at a meeting of the Brant/Brantford
Roundtable on Poverty that I was chairing. We talked
afterwards. She had remembered me from that morning
I stood up to the bully, and had been impressed with
how I chaired the roundtable meeting. She encouraged
me to consider Woodview for my masters placement.
I did, and later Woodview became my first place of
work in my career as a social worker. I love that place
and the work they do with children and families. It was
a very fulfilling start to a career I still enjoy.
Rewind back to the classroom 14 years before. There
was another grade nine student who sat two rows behind
me and to the left. His name was Dustin Newell. Dustin,
as it turns out, was the only student from his elementary
school to end up at Assumption. All his other friends
had gone elsewhere. It was a lonely time and he was
looking for someone he could connect with. Dustin was
bullied often. He was tall but very skinny, with braces
and slicked back hair... the kind of hair that only a Bond
villain or an 80s teen movie villain had, where you
could see the comb lines. He had an issue with his vocal
cords too and it caused him to have a significantly
higher voice than anyone in school. The kids called him
Mickey.
He had seen me being picked on for weeks and was just
hoping he wouldnt be next. He had seen me stand up
for myself too. Something clicked and Dustin thought
to himself that we should be friends. We became best
friends ever since, as well as co-presidents of our
student council, volunteers on many projects together
as adults and roommates in strange lands like the
ever-exotic New Brunswick.
It worked out great for him too, as this skinny buck
toothed kid with the high voice, he became a 6-foot 3-
inch muscle-bound giant who is physically the strongest
person Ive ever met. I kid you not, he has lifted me up
over his head with one arm just because he could. I also
poked him in the eye on a dare once and it jammed my
finger as he walked away laughing. Nobody bullies
Dustin anymore and he has become an incredibly funny,
confident, caring and dedicated father and husband (Hi
Olivia and Kim!) as well as a successful salesman in the
agricultural sector. We still see each other regularly and
share funny texts, nearly every day. We talk about the
same topics as we did back then too except for one, dating.
And that leads me to how I met Rebekah. She, of the
soul mate variety! Rebekah and Dustin are relatives
through marriage. At one time when both Rebekah and
I found ourselves single, Dustin and his mother
suggested we should talk to each other at a get-together
that we would both be at and that we should think about
attending Dustins brothers upcoming wedding
together. We did talk that night but we didnt attend his
brothers wedding together. Instead we courted for
nearly 2 years getting to know each other through Face-
book (thank you Zuckerberg), snail mail (thank you
Canada Post) and the rare in-person get together when
wed be in the same town (thank you WestJet) because
we lived over 1400 kms apart. Within a week of moving
back to Brantford we began dating. That was 4 years
ago. She is incredible. Ill save the rest of her and my
story for another time. Its a good one.
So there you have it. You just never know how things
will start and where they can lead. I do know this: Im
very glad I stood up and swore at a bully on a random
Tuesday morning in my Grade 9 math class. Couldnt
have worked out any better.
Two Wolves
Ive been an Anglican minister in Brantford for almost
three years now. I have made wonderful friends and
have developed a love for the city and its people. I enjoy
my walks, especially in the downtown, as I witness its
renewal. Typically, during these walks Im wearing my
clerical collar and Ive found that it not only identifies
me as a clergy person, but also as a target. The constant
request for money or food aside, I have been a target of
hostility by those who have been hurt by the Church,
the Anglican Church in particular.
The first of these occurrences was last year around
Good Friday. I was on Facebook and I made a religious
comment on a friends page; what was to follow I
definitely was not prepared for. My friends Native
friend read the post and it triggered something within
him. He replied with the Anglican Church as his target,
the Churchs sins were brought to the fore. Words of
suffering and humiliation, accounts of physical,
emotional, sexual and cultural abuse. Then came the
words that seemed to pop from the screen - Residential
Schools, a very dark stain on my denominations past.
I could not fathom the pain, suffering and damage that
this system inflicted. One which took Native children
away from their families. In response I could have
offered cultural and historical arguments as an attempt
to dull the edge of our past. I could have pulled out the
Churchs resume emphasizing the good work that has
been done in the name of Christ. Yes, I was close to
pulling out the Mother Theresa card. Then, I paused. As
I write this Im reminded of a Native American story,
the one titled The Two Wolves.
In the story a boy says to his grandfather, a fight is
going on inside of me, a terrible fight between two
wolves. He continued, one wolf is evil - he is anger,
envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-
doubt, un-forgiveness and ego. The other is good - he
is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness,
benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion,
forgiveness and faith. He looked to his grandfather and
said, this same fight is going on inside you, and inside
every other person too. The boy paused and asked his
grandfather, which wolf will win? His wise grandfather
simply replied, the one you feed.
In my response I sought to feed the good wolf. I wrote,
Im sorry for all the pain that my Church inflicted on
your people, I hit enter. Paused, then wrote, Im not
personally responsible for what the Anglican Church
did in the past. I write this as the son of Italian immigrants,
but I am responsible for how I react to injustice now.
This is something I learned from this interaction. When
I see injustice, when I see people suffering, when I
watch the news and see my Native brothers and sisters
in Attawapiskat living in horrendous conditions, I will
not, and my faith teaches that I must not, stand idly by.
For this reason I, along with many others, were invited
by Marc Laferriere to, fast for change
(fast4change.com). As part of a rolling fast I went
without food for twenty-four hours in solidarity with
our Native friends to draw attention to the ways that
systemic injustice continues to effect the First Nations
people. As an Anglican priest, responsible for my own
actions, I would like to begin to connect and learn from
the stories, wisdom, and spirituality of the First Nations.
I would like to be a part of the healing that must happen.
In building relationships my hope is to create a context
where mutual learning can take place. For this reason I
am asking if any of my Native brothers and sisters
would like to take me under their wing? I am asking for
people to tell me their stories, impart their wisdom, and
to act as a guide as I navigate the wonder that is the
Native Culture. If you are willing to be one of many
guides, I would like you to email me at:
pastor@counterpointchurch.ca
Together let us feed the good wolf.
by Rev. Jon Massimi
Twitter: @RevMass
When will we Matter?
by Randy Roberts
Facebook: Randy Roberts
by Marc Laferriere
Twitter: @MarcLaferriere
I was just about to go to bed when I got a strange late
night phone call. It was strange because no one ever
calls me that late at night. It was a friend on the other
end and, from her tone, I could tell something was
extremely wrong. Randy? Yes, I replied. Through
sobs I heard its me. I asked whats wrong? She went
on to tell me that a friend of hers has just died from an
overdose.
I myself have been in her place far too many times. But
for my friend, this was her first. I went to her, to comfort
her but I was unsure how to do it. How do I comfort
her? What do I say? Do I tell her that Amy is in a better
place? That she is no longer hurting? I want to think that
but I am filled with so much anger. All I can think about
is why did another addict have to die? WHY? When
really we, as a society, can and should be doing
something to help.
Addicts are people too, people with an illness. Cancer,
diabetes and Lou Gehrigs disease are illnesses that we
spend billions upon billions of dollars to treat and to try
to come up with a cure. Yet addictions get next to nothing.
Why? Because in the eyes of the uneducated public WE
are just dirty bottom of the barrel addicts, crazy homeless
people who are a drain on society. Its said we brought
this upon ourselves and we should reap what we sow.
Addicts really do want
a better life and when
we do get help, we are
very grateful.
Amy was someones daughter, someones granddaughter.
She was a mom and, in the words of her friend: She
was a good friend. Someone I trusted and confided in.
Amy loved to make people laugh and she loved to
dance. Sure, Amy was an addict and may have done
some things that, in the eyes of society, may have been
wrong or criminal to get her drugs. But did she deserve
to die for it?
This is the type of person society looks down on. But
why? Is Amy not like you? She had dreams and goals
and she wanted so badly to get better. She wanted to
heal from the wounds that were inflicted upon her. Is it
her fault that her childhood was filled with such tragedy
and anguish that she felt the need to turn to drugs to help
with the pain and to try to forget? No, it wasnt. She
deserved (NO HAD THE RIGHT) to get help, to get
better, to be happy and to become a productive member
of society. We need to better educate the public on the
disease of addiction. Maybe then society would see that
addiction is not a choice but a severely debilitating
illness. I dont know of anyone who has ever woke up
one morning and said: When I grow up, I want to be a
drug addict. Addicts really do want a better life and
when we do get help, we are very grateful and filled
with passion to give back. Many recovering addicts go
back to school and take courses in the health care
profession because we have the need, and the want, to
give back the help that we were given. We get jobs, a
home, pay bills and start paying our share of taxes. We
no longer are a drain on your tax dollars but are paying
them ourselves. We no longer feel the need to steal, beg
or sell ourselves to get the money to buy the drugs that
help take the pain of the past away.
I like to think that the people of Brantford are caring
and sympathetic to their fellow citizens. It is a loving
and caring community. And yet, I dont think the
general public is aware that Brantford doesnt even
have its own facility to care and treat people with
addiction issues.
We are shipped out to other communities. We are ripped
from our homes, our families and friends in the hopes
that we wont return. We addicts feel like we are driven
from our own community. Yes, we are sick, but we can
and do get better. But how is this possible without the
help of our fellow neighbours? How many more of our
brother and sisters must die before enough is enough?
There are good caring people in Brantford who see the
need for a Detox/treatment centre here. Our local MPP
Dave Levac is one of them. He is leading the fight to
get Brantford a detox/treatment centre. He sees the need
and the benefits of having one here in Brantford. But
we need more people to stand up and say enough is
enough! One more death is unacceptable. We, your
fellow Brantfordians, need you. Call, write or go to the
mayor, MP and MPP and let them know that you do care
about your fellow neighbours and that you want, no,
you demand that they do something. Lets not let Amys
death be in vain. Maybe, just maybe, if she had a place
to turn to in her own community she may still be alive
today. So I ask you. When will WE matter?
I myself have lost too many friends to let this go. I will
continue the fight! The fight to have a care facility for
addicts and to have the public see my fellow brothers
and sisters treated with the same respect society treats
any other sick person.
My hope is that you will stand with me!
Im not just Sad
According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, one
in five Canadians will experience a mental illness in their
lifetime.
I am one of them.
Mental illness runs in my family, so for me, it became
inevitable. The idea grew into a monster that crept in my
shadows, waiting to pounce. I hoped that it wouldnt find
me, and that I could just be a supporter, raising awareness.
It didnt turn out that way. I ended up confronting my fear
and went to see my doctor. Yes, Ill concede that its scary
to admit that something is wrong, especially when it comes
to your mental health, but for me, doing nothing about it
was never an option.
However, the world we live in thinks differently. Mental
health has been stigmatized so severely that people are
ashamed and embarrassed to go get the help they need.
According to the CMHA, only 20 per cent of children who
need mental health services receive them.
Unlike other illnesses, mental illnesses are often ignored
because their symptoms are typically unseen. When symptoms
deal with how someone is feeling inside, it can be harder
to be taken seriously.
People are ashamed of their mental health, primarily
because we are constantly told that we ought to be able to
deal with things. If someone is consistently sad for no
apparent reason, society immediately turns on the sufferer.
They arent trying hard enough, or my personal favourite,
Everyone feels that way at your age.
This kind of thinking is ridiculous. When I began to feel
sad every day with little motivation or enjoyment from my
own life, I tried to get over it. But day in and day out, I still
couldnt find a way to make myself happy. And how could
I? Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Theres
no way to stop yourself from being sad when being sad is
completely out of your control. Yet even I began to have
these thoughts, and I felt foolish when I couldnt will
myself to be happy. I was stigmatizing myself.
The CMHA reports that only 50 per cent of Canadians will
tell their friends that they have a family member with a
mental illness, compared to the 72 per cent who would talk
about a family members cancer diagnosis. Why is it that
we treat these differently? Were so open to talk about
cancer awareness, yet so closed off to mental health awareness.
Both deal with someone suffering, so why do those with
mental illnesses have to suffer in silence? People dont
realize that this stigma affects peoples ability to lead
healthy lives. Although its not the defining factor in my
life, my mental health is a part of who I am. By living in a
society where Im told to keep it to myself and not talk
about it, Im hiding part of myself.
But Im tired of hiding it. So yes, I have depression. I
sought out help and now Im starting to feel better. Is there
anything wrong with that? Ill admit, thinking about writing
this article, I was apprehensive to go ahead with it, but then
I thought to myself, Why am I afraid?
If I cant be comfortable with it, why would I expect anyone
else to be? So let me be the first of hopefully many people,
to say that mental health isnt such a scary thing. Talk about
it. By raising awareness, we can get rid of this unnecessary
stigma.
So yes, I have
depression. I sought out
help and now Im
starting to feel better. Is
there anything wrong
with that
People arent defined by their state of health. No, that
person with schizophrenia isnt just a schizophrenic.
Theyre still a person. They just happen to have a disorder.
But they will always still be a person, no matter what health
issues they face. So can we all try to stop talking about
mental health in hushed voices, looking up occasionally in
case anyone hears? Its nothing to be ashamed of; its your
health. Embrace it.
I know, that sounds odd. If you told me a few months ago
that I should embrace depression, I probably wouldve
looked at you strangely. But I mean embrace in a broader
definition. Embrace the fact that mental illness is just one
of many aspects that make up you as a person. Its not your
defining feature or a debilitating disease. With the right
help, it just becomes another part of your life. If you arent
dealing with it first hand, embrace a culture where its
something we can talk about. Take the time to understand
what mental illnesses are, but dont treat them any
differently than any other illness.
I think its about time that we embrace mental health awareness
with the same compassion and openness that we have had
with so many other causes before. Its time to give your
mind some love.
Maybe we can start turning some of these numbers around
and let those suffering alone know that its okay to get help.
Its okay to admit theres something wrong. I know if I hadnt
grown up with the understanding of mental health that I did,
I probably wouldve suffered longer on my own.
As a society, weve managed to minimize and discard
stigmas completely. Mental health is nothing new, and its
not going away anytime soon. So instead of keeping the
stigma alive, we should start becoming more aware.
Think about it, youll be glad you did. If you want more
information or places to go to for help, visit the Brantford
CMHA website at www.brant.cmha.ca.
by Alicia Saunders
Twitter: @AliciaSaun
Apocalypse (not) Now
December 21, 2012 has come and gone, and I am still alive
to tell you that nothing happened (but Im sure youre aware
of that yourself).
However, people around the world were preparing for this
day by discussing survival techniques and sharing the
locations of stores with the best supply of non-perishable
food, and connecting to the spiritual world behind the backs
of those who gave no thought to the day at all.
Steven Bancarz, 20, is a Philosophy student at the Univer-
sity of Guelph, and he also operates the popular Facebook
page Spirit Science and Metaphysics.
For Bancarz, December 21 would not entail any of the
Hollywood inspired events such as the touchdown of aliens
or the destruction of the earth in a giant fireball. He believed
this date served to welcome an age of unity, love, community,
and spiritual and political awareness where we finally begin
to wake out of this materialist ego-driven trance to pursue
a more conscious way of living.
To prepare for this Golden Age, Bancarz has worked to
cleanse himself of undesirable qualities, which he believes
is an important step for all of humanity in order to create a
utopian harmony for the planet.
Bancarz said global meditation was being organized and
over 250,000 people planned to celebrate the day at the
Mayan ruins.
Regardless of whether an apocalypse was going to happen
or not, numerous people were planning for their safety that
day, stocking up on food and other supplies that would
assist them if the world ended.
Expect to see robbery, looting, and all the chaos you expect
to see from misled individuals expecting the world to be
destroyed, said Bancarz.
He believed the chaos would be minimal, however.
To prepare for this
Golden Age, Bancarz has
worked to cleanse
himself of undesirable
qualities, which he
believes is an important
step for all of humanity in
order to create a utopian
harmony for the planet.
There was definitely a lot of hype about that day, but
mostly it was just a lot of talk, and restricted to a relatively
small number of people, said Bill Kennedy, 42. Sure, the
blogs and forums were full of people who worried about
the world ending that day, but the average person on the
street had no idea there was anything special about December
21.
Kennedy is the owner and founder of a variety of post-
apocalyptic themed websites including PostApocalyptic-
Forum.com, Post-Apocalyptic.info, PostApoc.net, and
Megaton.us.
Kennedy has a passion for the post-apocalyptic genre of
novel and he enjoys using his websites to review books and
movies, as well as have longer conversations with people
around the world about post-apocalyptic topics. He did not
prepare for the day in any way, and neither did anyone he
knows.
I think we went to the zoo that day, he said.
Bancarz spent the day in reflection and he meditated at
night. Now that the day has come and gone, Bancarz said
he does feel different.
It's more of an energetic feeling of excitement to know that
what is to come in the next five, 10, 20 years is going to be
something revolutionary for humankind, he said. I feel
like this is the time for me to fulfill my own spiritual
potential, just as everyone else is doing knowingly and
unknowingly to varying degrees, said Bancarz.
The media wasted no time in benefitting from the end of
the Mayan calendar. With films like 2012, people were
faced with glorified doom and gloom, which depicted the
end of civilization as we know it.
There have been several predicted apocalyptic events since
the beginning of time and, thus far, none have come true.
Six other claims of the worlds end have been predicted
over the past two years, yet none reached the fame of
December 21, 2012.
In 2011, various people predicted May 21, September 29,
October 16, and October 21 would be the end of the world.
May 27 and June 30, 2012 were other predictions as well.
Due to the extensive amount of prophesied dates to mark
the worlds ultimate destruction, Kennedy did not think
December 21 would be a dangerous day.
End of the world prophecies are a dime a dozen and until
I see the scientists running for cover, I don't give them much
credence, he said.
Many websites, such as survivetheapocalypse.net, have
prepared handy checklists of equipment recommended to
keep on hand in case the world is met with an apocalypse.
Items such as wool socks, gas masks, a book of edible plant
life, bootlaces, and a gun made the list. The website is
made with any and all aspects of survival, from urban
assaults and kidnappings, to hurricanes and getting lost in
the woods in mind, said a webmaster of
survivetheapocalypse.net. The topics are well researched
and given in a witty way.
Expect to see robbery,
looting, and all the chaos
you expect to see from
misled individuals
expecting the world
to be destroyed
Their site also features guides such as 100 Uses of a Bandanna,
Use Houseplants for Clean Indoor Air, How to Convert
a Tanker Truck into a Post Apocalyptic Home, and even
how to prepare for the apocalypse on a budget.
Bancarz believes that people are becoming more alert to
environmental, political, and spiritual issues with the
coming of this new age.
Those of the spiritual community are beyond excited for
this time and feel the shift in energy taking place, he said.
If you ask the average person, I'm not sure they would feel
any different at all.
by Layla Bozich
@Sputnik_News
A Voice for the Students of Laurier Brantford
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 6
Lunch at Sophias
Ive always found that, in spite of the fact that there are
numerous restaurants in Brantford, I tend to pick a
favourite. When I was younger it was a place next to
the Sanderson Centre. They cooked my favourite which
was, and is, veal. Of course, now I have changed my
tastes, as we tend to do as we get into our senior years.
I prefer foods that are soft, fragrant and have smaller
portions, but this isnt really about me.
My daughter is doing well now, but that was not the
case a year ago. She began having violent stomach
problems. The doctors did test after test. They seemed
to be at odds as to what might be the problem. It isnt
pleasant to spend most of your nights in the bathroom
instead of sleeping in preparation for work. She lived
on liquids for days at a time and lost a great deal of
weight and much of her physical strength. It was very
scary not knowing what was wrong, and nothing
seemed to get rid of the problem.
She finally went to a dietitian who was able to help her
to a great extent. It seemed that although she is not
celiac (the tests finally determined this), she is sensitive
to gluten, fructose, glucose, and other artificial sweeteners
as well as having ulcers. It seems that real sugar is safe.
I began by making gluten free bread, cookies and
muffins for her. It was pretty much trial and error. The
supplies come from the bulk food store and are
expensive. It is also time consuming.
I no longer live in Brantford and she lives way out in
the country. This made it difficult to get the product to
her and it didnt keep nearly long enough.
Having only a short time for lunch, she had to do
something that was safe. Taking her lunch every day got
to be tiresome. It is for this reason that she found
Sophias. She started looking for someplace where she
could get lunch where it was safe for her to eat. Her
bodily reaction to mistakes was not acceptable considering
her job.
On a cold winter afternoon she invited me to Sophias,
a restaurant in Brantford on the corner of Colborne and
King. When you walk in you see simple tables, high
ceilings with lots of decorative trim, all painted white,
and a small counter. I was immediately made welcome.
The place isnt big, it isnt fancy, but the smells when
you walk in reach out and grab you. As a child I remember
being taken to the bakery on Saturday morning and
given a cookie by the lady who made all the wonderful
things being sold. I still love the smell of baking bread
and the spices that go with baking.
Sophias is a gluten-free place. Yes, you can buy
cookies, shortbread, white and dark breads (not wheat
of course), and lovely sandwiches.
This building is one of the remaining classic buildings
of Brantford, from when that area was still the old
downtown. Most of the buildings are gone now, either
torn down to make room for the new, or burned down
due to fire hazards of long ago, including several hotels.
This building however, kept its charm. Now it faces
empty space where once there were stores bustling with
shoppers. Times and spaces change.
To be honest, having had little luck with creating an
acceptable bread myself, I was a bit sceptical. I was
told that the secret recipe for their delicious bread had
taken six years to develop. The whole thing came from
the fact that their daughter Sophia (the restaurant is
named after her) was diagnosed as celiac, thus the
search for acceptable foods and goodies for their little
girl.
So, my daughter and I had a wonderful lunch. She got
to eat things that wouldnt make her sick and I got to
try some new things I hadnt tried before. Due to many
food allergies of my own, this took some trust on my
part. I can relate to her problems.
Since then we have found that many of the people we
know have these same problems or they know someone
who does. In fact, it seems to be growing. The symptoms
of celiac disease are debilitating to say the least, and life
threatening at worst. The safest foods are closest to the
ground, no preservatives, no steroids and for some, little
or no meats. Its good to know that there is at least one
place where the food is good, and the atmosphere pleasant.
Each time I come back to the town of my birth, back to
my home as it were, I find new changes, new places to
explore, and sadly new spaces where some old building,
some old friend from the past is gone, but we hope that
Sophias stays and becomes a part of Brantfords traditions.
by Lynne Joseph
90 Morton Ave East Brantford 519.757.1800 www.handcraftedwood.ca
I grew up in Brantford but, at my first possible chance,
I took off to the West Coast vowing never to return. In
Vancouver, I fell in love with exploring new places and
capturing life in all its beauty. There is something
amazing about standing on top of a mountain at dusk
photographing the lights of a busy Vancouver just after
watching the sunset over the ocean.
When people asked me where I was from I had nothing
good to say. I began to describe the boarded up
downtown which had drawn silhouettes creating the
illusion of busy streets. So when life led me back to
Brantford for school, I did not have high hopes.
What I found has surprised me more than I could have
ever imagined. Sure, I was attending school at Mohawk
College in Hamilton, but I learned the most from
Brantford itself. As a photographer, I am always out and
about looking for the next moment to capture, and
Brantford proved to have many. I was blown away by
the sense of community that was present within Brantford.
My first year in school I made an effort to give Brantford
a chance. I would go everywhere with my camera
whether it be to a family event in Harmony Square, a
band playing at Two Doors or something happening at
The Station. I would go there, shoot photos and post
them online. In my second year, I started shooting a
segment on Brantford Live with Mayor Chris Friel
entitled Brantford Life which gave a voice to local
musicians by featuring interviews and creating music
videos. In my third year, I have had the privilege to
represent Downtown Brantford by creating a LipDub
and starting a series of Creative Choice Videos. Looking
through a camera lens encourages me to find the most
beautiful way of capturing my subject. And in doing so,
I fell in love with Brantford and stopped seeing it as
something that was, and starting seeing it as something
that is.
I am now in my final semester of my program, and as I
set off to Toronto to start my internship for CBC. As I
look back at my three years back in Brantford, I would
like to thank everyone for believing in me and allowing
me to capture this beautiful city.
Life is what you make of it, and by making the best of
it I fell in love with Brantford. Why cant you? You can
follow my adventure at CBC with my new Web Series
CB See Inside.
Coming Home
by Ida Adamowicz
Facebook: Ida Adamowicz
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 7
My name is Adam, and I have the pleasure of introducing you to my wife,
Tae an advertising and portraiture photographer. For the past decade,
I've had the good fortune to share my life with her, and see the world
through her lens. Its given me a deeper appreciation for life and our
community. Most of all, I love to discover the emotion that one image
can contain, and how such passion and joy can radiate from one single
photograph.
Whether she's composing an image for a client or working on a personal
project, I know how much she pours into each image, and I believe this
is why her work resonates with people.
When we first met, Tae was working in Toronto with a couple of the top
photographers in the country. This experience working on high-end
commercial shoots gave her a keen eye and vast technical experience.
Over the years she has traveled quite a bit, shooting in North and South
America as well as overseas. I love looking through photos from these
journeys, seeing how one image can transcend language and culture,
connecting us with people around the globe.
Some of my favourite moments over the years have been working on
projects with Tae. I'm a video producer, so I'm no stranger to a camera.
but still photography is an entirely different discipline, and working beside
Tae has certainly taught me a great deal about the arts of composition,
light, and colour.
Last March marked the arrival of our newest little addition to the team,
Asher. Of all the images I've seen Tae take, these are by far my favourite.
I'll always cherish them, as I realize that this phase of life passes quickly.
It's still undecided if he will choose photography or video for a living, a
decision that will prove which parent he loves more...
Capturing a momenta frozen frame of timeallows us to experience life
through the eyes of another. It opens our minds, giving us a different
perspective on the world we inhabit. I hope you enjoy her work.
tae@tae.ca
www.tae.ca
Showcasing
Local Talent
by Adam Hislop
email: adam@atomicspark.ca
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 8
My Wife has been married to Five Men
That's what Lewis B. Smedes wrote as an older man in 1983's
Controlling the Unpredictable-The Power of Promising, and
it's a VITAL concept to remember when building a lasting,
meaningful marriage. When my wife Krissy and I heard this
line recently, we shut off the TV, sat on the couch together and
began to identify how many people we've been together. We'll
be celebrating our fifteenth anniversary in August, and I think
Ive been about three distinct people since we met and fell in
love in high school.
One. Unsettled, rebellious, loose-lipped, anti-establishment
Dave. Two. Dogmatic twenties, intense, frustrated at my own
youth, stumbling, fighting through figuring out what it means
to live as a Christian, husband and father Dave. Three. Today
Dave, who I likely won't fully be able to prospectively identify
until Dave number four comes along.
Each of those Dave's have come with their own being Dave
challenges and their own being in a relationship with Dave
challenges. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote to a young married
couple,
It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now
on, the marriage that sustains your love.
Marriage covenants are covenants. I write this article 8,500ft.
above sea level in the mountains of Colorado the day after
seeing my little sister married on a Rocky Mountain vista. My
brother officiated the ceremony and reminded us that our costly
journey of assembly was appropriately due to the costly nature
of covenant. Were largely unfamiliar with the concept of
covenant, but its a binding, chosen, agreement between God
and man. Thats serious business. And because not only does
God KNOW were going to change as we age, but its Him
who ushers us forward into growth, the idea of the new Daves
within marriage IS part of the scripted scenario. In fact,
wouldnt it be boring without it?
Before we got married I gave my wife a bracelet engraved with
I choose to love you. At the time it even seemed to me to be
less than romantic, but it did seem right. Through variables
xyz, culture seems to want to dilute many of the DEEP
life-truths that reside in marriage. Sometimes when I hear
science-types bemoaning the disappearance of the rainforest
because of our species, I feel the same about marriage. One of
the most destructive post-modern concepts we've been conned
into believing is that the feeling of romantic love is foundational.
PROMISE is the soil in which the flower grows.
One of the most
destructive post-modern
concepts we've been
conned into believing is
that the feeling of romantic
love is foundational.
PROMISE is the soil in
which the flower grows.
Stanley Hauerwas, Professor of Theological Ethics at Duke
Divinity School, has a profound statement that compliments
the idea that we're constantly changing. He says that, "you
always marry the wrong person." In fact, he calls it Hauerwass
Law. In further writings he extrapolates:
It is as important to note, of course that the reverse of the law
is also true: namely, that you also always marry the right
person. The point of the law is to suggest the inadequacy of
the current assumption that the success or failure of a marriage
can be determined by marrying the right person. Even if you
have married the right person, there is no guarantee that he or
she will remain such, for people have a disturbing tendency to
change.
This is why the promise MUST be the foundation. The term
kindred spirits sometimes makes me gag a little as it's often
used in a very Seinfeldian shmoopy context. An older friend
of mine says that over the course of marriage, spirits will go in
and out of feeling like kindred spirits. I dont know about you,
but it's kind of a relief to hear someone who's been through
more people than me affirm the amount of change that DOES
happen and the subsequent feelings that change as well. We
love, not because we are married, but because its how we are
to live. In choosing love however, we may learn what such
love is like within the context of marriage.
Chosen love even in the non-clicky seasons actually ALLOWS
for the freedom to click again.
The irony of commitment is that its deeply liberating in
work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of
your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up
and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to
remove your head as the barrier to your life, says the Anne
Morriss Concire Leadership Institute.
I want to have a legendary marriage. It's on my very short
bucket list. I don't care about seeing Europe. The amount of
money I acquire is of minimal value to me. But having a
legendary marriage that people tell stories about is of the
UTMOST importance to me. And that requires
analytical/philosophical thinking combined with acting on
those principles. But it all starts with THE PROMISE of
Together Forever. It's not a fleeting concept or a misty dream,
it's a choice.
Many years ago I got a new name. My new name was Mom.
I was thrilled, honoured, proud, tired, and so in love. It was the
beginning of the best journey of my life. When I first saw you,
my child, my heart overflowed with love. My mind over-
flowed with dreams, wishes, and goals. Those dreams and
wishes and goals were for me just as much as they were for
you.
I wanted to set a good example. I wanted to provide for you. I
wanted to nurture you, support you, encourage you, parent you,
guide you, play with you, and watch you grow. I wanted to
teach you to ride your bike, skip a rope, knit, play hopscotch,
skate, and build a snowman. I wanted you to find your passion
and get good at it. I wanted to help you do really well at school,
and balance that with finding out about yourself, and your
interests and passions. I wanted you to graduate to high school,
learn to drive, graduate from high school, then college, and
have a life filled with things that would fill your heart.
Somewhere along the line busy got in the way of so many of
my dreams and wishes, and goals. I was busy doing laundry,
doing the dishes, paying the bills, going to work, getting the
groceries, taking you to all your after school activities, and
making meals. I was busy wishing for you to be more
independent, to pick up after yourself more efficiently, to be
able to make your own snacks, and do your own laundry. What
I didn't do was take the time to appreciate how well you were
doing just at that moment. What I didn't do was do all those
things WITH you so that we could chat, and I could listen, and
we could hang out. What I didn't do was let you take all of
those stages at your own pace, and in your own time. What I
didn't do was set a good example of patience, calm, and taking
your time. While I was busy wishing for you to hurry up, I was
missing all the things that I thought I was looking forward to.
They were passing me by in my life of busy-ness and lots to
do.
Recently I have gotten a new name. My new name is
Grandma. That is the name that I really wanted when I knew
I could pick a new name. I was so thrilled, honoured, and
proud. It was going to be the next best thing in my life. My
heart overflowed with love. My mind overflowed with dreams,
wishes, and goals. Those dreams were just as much for me as
they were for you and your new little friend.
While I was busy
wishing for you to hurry
up, I was missing all the
things that I thought I
was looking forward to.
I hoped I had set a good example. I hoped I had provided
enough love for you so that you could pass some of it on. I
hoped that you had seen a good example of patience and
encouragement, and nurturing in order that you could also
provide that for your new little bundle. I hoped that when you
looked back at the times that I was too busy, or that I was
rushing you, or that I didn't notice that you were working on a
new stage that was important to you, that you would be
reminded to slow down, appreciate each moment, and not rush
the process. What I see is someone who is doing laundry, doing
the dishes, paying the bills, going to work, getting the
groceries, making meals, putting clothes away, tidying up the
toys, and running errands. What I see is someone who is rushed
and busy, and not able to take the time to appreciate how well
your little friend is doing just at this very moment. What I see
is someone who is too busy to just do all those things with her
new little friend, and chat, and listen, and hang out. What I see
is someone that is missing the stages and not able to let them
happen at their own pace, and in their own time. While you
are wishing for your new little one to hurry up, you are missing
all the things that you were looking forward to. They are passing
you by in your life of busy-ness and lots to do.
What I have learned is that maybe this is where Grandmas
come in. We are not slow because we are old. We are not
patient because we have any more hours in our day. We are
not calmer because we don't have laundry, dishes, bills, work,
groceries, meals, clothes to put away, toys to tidy, errands to
run... We are slow, patient, and calmer because we don't want
to miss what the little people are doing right this moment. We
don't want to push them to hurry up, we want them to enjoy
this moment, this lesson, this stage. We want to sit and do this
WITH them so we can chat, and listen, and hang out. The time
will come when we are old, slow, forgetful and have a lot of
time to do things. We will look around and there will be a
whole bunch of busy, young people filling their lives. Life will
have passed us by. Our hearts will be full: of regret, missed
lessons, missed opportunities, and missed lives. Our heads will
be full of old dreams too old to be clear and vibrant, old wishes
too old to fill now, old goals long since fallen short. Or, we will
look around at our legacy. We will look around and see our
children full of love, and dreams, and goals. We will see their
children full of life, ambition, direction, and passion, and if we
are REALLY lucky we will even see some of their children.
So, please, when you are feeling overwhelmed by your list,
when you are tired from your day, when you are feeling like
you just can't do this on your own, would you please call
Grandma. That is her job. That is why Grandmas are special.
That is why I wanted that name, and not some fancy new-age
replacement for Grandma.
by Dave Carrol
Twitter: @davecarrol
Please call me Grandma by Sylvia Collins
When faced with the prospect of increased premiums
there are two issues that come to mind. One is
insurance fraud and the other is the increasing
costs of litigation i.e. lawyer's fees. With respect to
insurance fraud, while it certainly does occur it is
not as rampant as people may think. Insurers have
become more pro-active in terms of investigating
and denying fraudulent claims. As in many cases
involving civil fraud or the property rights of private
citizens involved in a civil dispute the police are
often reluctant to investigate as it is thought to be a
matter more appropriate resolution in the civil
courts. This means that persons without police
training are put in a position where they are relied
upon to investigate claims and determine if they are
legitimate claims. This can be extremely problematic
as the court imposes draconian consequences in
cases where allegations of fraud are made and are
ultimately unfounded both in terms of costs and in
terms of damage awards for punitive damages and
bad faith claims.
When discussing insurance fraud the type of claim
that commonly comes to mind is the claimant who
is advancing a false claim. Fraud however effects
the insurance industry at a number of levels. For
example, there can be treatment facilities and auto
repair shops billing for services not rendered.
The other factor at play in curtailing fraud is the civil
jury. The majority of personal injury trials take place
in front of a trial of 6 individuals who have been
called to Jury duty and selected to serve on the jury.
While these individuals may come from a variety of
backgrounds the one certainty is that they will carefully
scrutinize any claimant. They will be given a great
amount of information to process about the claim
and the claimant from many sources including the
claimant, his friends, family and co-workers and a
variety of experts including medical experts,
accounting experts and engineers in the case of an
accident re-construction. The Jury serves a very
important function in screening out claims that are
potentially fraudulent.
Rising insurance costs are often attributed by the
insurers to rising litigation costs, i.e. lawyer's fees.
For example, the decision of the Ontario Court of
Appeal in Cornie et al is being heralded as a blow
to the insurance industry mainly due to the higher
costs of litigation that are anticipated due to the fact
that consumers no longer have to wait for however
long it takes FSCO to mediate their claim before
resorting to legal process but only need to wait 60
days as prescribed by the governing legislation.
The underlying message of course is that these
higher litigation costs will translate into higher
insurance premiums for consumers so that
ironically the decision that was supposed to be a
victory for consumers turns out to be a blow. The
one thing that must be considered is that the
insurance companies are largely in control of their
own legal costs. The notion as was suggested in a
recent article that the insurer's will now have to pay
$10,000.00 to litigate every denial at FSCO is
somewhat surreal given that have the power to
decide when they will deny treatment plans and
settle claims.
The notion that insurers will be forced to settle
claims in the face of increased litigation costs that
they wouldn't otherwise settle is just one side to the
argument. Claimants as well are faced with cost
consequences which may be awarded against
them in favour of the insurer in the context of legal
proceedings based upon result. More than one
claimant has lost their house to pay the costs of the
insurer, and cost consequences are certainly a
powerful tool that can be utilized by the insurers to
restrict settlements paid out.
In summary, while insurance premiums will
undoubtedly go up, the reasons given for premium
hikes should be carefully assessed by the consumer.
Please feel free to email any questions or
feedback you have to
legallisa@morellkelly.com
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 9
First impressions can Change
When I realized that The Brant Advocate is a community paper
for the stories of Brantford, I wanted to be part of that. I
mentioned to friend of mine that I would like to write
something for the paper. My friend encouraged me to do it and
I left it at that. Time went by and I did not follow through with
that thought. This is typical of me. I get enthusiastic about
something, then something else comes along and I forget about
the previous idea, until that old idea comes back to the forefront
of my mind again. I usually describe my mind as a circular
cardex. In other words, ideas and thoughts are constantly
dancing in the waves of my brain. In fact, sometimes I can be
talking about something and be thinking about something else.
I am sure that there must be a clinical term for that, but I am
not interested in finding out. All I know is that because my
mind works that way I have been able to enjoy many different
experiences. Having said all of that, I am referring to my mind
in the third person, which begs the questions. Who or what am
I, who or what is directing my brain to write this? I am sure
there are more questions like these.
I will now focus on what I want to write about. I could write
about how I got here, however, that is a very subjective topic
because I can take many approaches. I may take a shallow
approach and say that I got here on my bicycle or I might go
deeper and say that I got here by self-analysis and personal
growth or anything in between. Anyways, I usually get my
daily cup of coffee at a place frequented by my friend. So this
one morning I went to get my daily caffeine fix and wouldnt
you know it my friend was there and asked: when will you
write for The Advocate. That question ignited the desire to be
part of this adventure called The Advocate again. Today, I
decided to follow through with writing something. Hopefully,
it will get published.
Did I mention that my mind is like a bouncing ball, I never
know where it is going to end go next.
So lets start with my first visit to Brantford. Another friend of
mine and I were riding our bicycles from Kitchener to Hamilton
on the Trans-Canada trail. Here I have to say that I have been
a Brantfordian for about ten years now. Over this time I have
learned that Brantford is not so much a multi-cultural community,
but a multi-faceted one. So there we were, riding along. We
had left Paris, and had come down that crazy hill just before
the pedestrian bridge that connects the trail with Brant Park.
On the way back to Paris, the trail on that hill is amazing, if
you ride a bicycle. Youve got to go up that hill. It (the trail)
starts with a very gradual incline, then it turns sharply to the
right and it becomes steeper. It goes on like that for a while
and, when you think that you reached the summit, it sharply
turns to the left and becomes steeper yet. It is quite a challenge,
even if you are in good shape. Well, if you were in your twenties
and in good shape, you probably can fly going up that hill. I
am not in my twenties and I have seldom been in top shape,
although, I have my own sport tales to tell. But that is for
another time.
So there we were. Our first sighting of Brantford proper was
the Wilkes Dam. What a beautiful waterfall it creates. I recently
was out on a hike with my dog, Duke (his proper name is The
Duke of Paris). We walked from Morrell St. and Grand River
Ave. I know, it is not a long walk, but it gets me to the outdoors.
It was a cool, bright, early spring morning, the water was high,
and there were geese, ducks and blue herons abound.
Unfortunately, the trail was marred with coffee paper cups.
That the trail was littered with this is by no means a reflection
on a company, but a reflection on the people who purchase the
product and then dispose of the cups without any concern for
the environment or the people who might come by after. I
wonder if people who litter love their city and parks? What I
wanted to say about the Wilkes Dam is that on that day a piece
of driftwood was lodged on the edge of the dam, by where
people go fishing. It was a long piece. It was covered in ice.
The end of it with all the ice on top looked like the head of a
dragon. So, I took a picture. The photograph is on my desktop
now. What a great take. So that is that.
So there we were. Our
first sighting of Brantford
proper was the Wilkes
Dam. What a beautiful
waterfall it creates.
So there we were. We took a break at the dam to enjoy its
beauty and the singing of the waters flowing over the concrete
wall. My friend was telling me that the flowing water generates
oxygen. I thought, that is why fish and people play there. We
continued our trip and went pass the gates on Morrell Street
by the water treatment plant. As we moved forward down the
trail we saw the bordered up, half-burned buildings on the left
side of the trail. Everything was so run down. It reminded me
of the time my family and I were driving to South America
and we crossed the U.S./Mexico border at Brownsville, Texas
and into Matamoros, Mexico. There is a lot to say about that
experience, but this is not the time. Suffice to say that seeing
all those buildings in such disrepair took me back to that time
and place where I saw the first and the third world meet. At
the time, of course, I was not aware that there were forces
working on making the changes that were necessary. We rode
into downtown and everything seemed to be bordered up.
What I found most saddening was that the boards on the store
windows had been painted with scenes of their former selves.
The area looked desolated. We did not stay very long.
Soon after that I secured employment in downtown Brantford.
Afew years later I moved over here. My view of the community
of Brantford has come a long way from that first visit. I do not
longer think of Brantford as a replica of a third world city, but
a vibrant community with a history of boom and bust. I am
glad to be here and to be part of the renaissance that we are
living today.
Have you ever had an experience or dream that haunts you
throughout your life? It is one of those events that you rarely
talk about, and when you try to explain it, people look at you
like you are making it up or like you are insane. As a result,
you try to push that experience to the back of your mind, but
it never really goes away.
Ive had two experiences of this type throughout my life.
The first is in the form of a dream or vision of my mother in a
wedding dress, on her way to be married. I was four or five
years old when I first had this dream and it has recurred off
and on throughout my life, most recently last week. An analyst
would probably have a field day with this, but I can assure you
that I am no William Lyon MacKenzie King.
Monseigneur Castex initially
refused to marry them in the
Roman Catholic Church
because my mother was
pregnant. A compromise was
reached, and my father and
mother were to be married at
midnight.
The circumstances of my parents marriage were straight out
of a movie. My mother was ten years older than my father.
They had met after my father had returned from WWII. My
mother worked at the Mental Health Center, then called the
Penetanguishene Asylum. When they were married in January
1948, she was three months pregnant with me. I was born in
July. This was a stressful period for both my parents. The event
takes place late at night.
I dont think the marriage was initially favorably received by
my fathers parents. Monseigneur Castex initially refused to
marry them in the Roman Catholic Church because my mother
was pregnant. Sex before marriage was a sin in his mind and
the Monseigneur was a stickler for maintaining the moral
character of the community. My father, to his credit, decided
to take issue with the Monseigneur. At a meeting with him, my
father announced that he intended to marry my mother in the
Anglican Church. This would have been a public relations
disaster for the Monseigneur as my grandfather was not only
his good friend, but a major financial contributor to the parish.
Acompromise was reached, and my father and mother were
to be married at midnight.
The idea of a midnight wedding was not unique. It was a way
in which the Church could sanction a marriage, after all it was
a sacrament, but at the same time hint at its moral disapproval
of the circumstances of the wedding. So, my parents were
married at midnight, my mother three months pregnant and
my fathers family not overly excited by the idea. Outside of
the witnesses, few people attended the wedding.
In my dream, I see my mother preparing herself for the wed-
ding. It lasts only a few seconds, but I am clearly outside her
body looking on. I am certain that many would argue that I
simply imagined the event. Perhaps so, but it doesnt really
explain the intensity of the moment. I am not only an onlooker,
but I sense that I am a participant. When I have the dream, I
always wake up with an uneasy feeling and a sense of uncertainty
as to why I am looking on.
The second experience, I find, is even more bizarre. It relates
to the passing of my parents who died within a year of each.
After my fathers funeral, the family met to decide what it was
going to do with the assets. There wasnt much that I wanted
except for the family pictures, which I agreed to copy and share
with my siblings, and some poker chips. Why I wanted the
poker chips, in retrospect, is weird. I rarely play poker and I
had little relationship to the chips outside of an occasional
game of Rummoli that I played with my parents.
When I went to the house to get the pictures and poker chips,
I was alone. I remember finding the pictures quite easily. The
poker chips, on the other hand, were nowhere to be found. I
searched my parentsbedroom, upstairs in the closets, the basement,
and the pantry area. I would say that I was there for nearly an
hour when I decided to give up. I went to pick up the photo
albums that I had placed on the kitchen table and sitting on top
of them were poker chips.
I see myself as a rational person and have never regarded
myself as a spiritualist. I tried to explain this to some friends
who suggested that I subconsciously had placed the poker
chips there, but being so distraught by the death of my father,
I had forgotten. Maybe, but I dont think so.
There are two facts that I recall about this latter event. First,
during my search, I couldnt help feeling that I was not alone
in the house. Perhaps this was a natural outcome of the death
of my father. Sometimes it is difficult to let go of the memories
and sense of presence that someone has in your life. The
second thing I remember is that I was feeling so uneasy, that I
left the house and did not ever return.
At one level, it is impossible to explain the intensity of emotion
involved in these two memories. At another, being a rational
person, I always try to seek a down-to-earth explanation as to
why they bother me so much. At the end of the day, my mother
integrated well into my fathers family and I never sensed any
rancor. Although I miss my parents, I have come to terms with
their deaths. I have also dismissed the idea that my mind is
playing tricks on me and that I am in need of therapy.
My preferred explanation is that there are some things that
occur in the universe that we arent meant to understand or
explain. I am not talking about the paranormal. I think it has
more to do with bonding and how that bonding manifests itself
in the past, present and future. Or perhaps, it is just me wishing
that it were so!
by Roberto E. Salazar
Haunting Thoughts by Michael St. Amant
Saving is an
Everyday
part of Life.
Whether for retirement, education that new house
or collectible widget, saving helps us achieve our
financial goals. The question of Where we save
is topic we will be addressing over the next few issues.
In the eyes of the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA)
there are three vehicles that consumers can save
in; Registered,
Non-Registered & Tax Free. All have a defined
purpose and all should be considered by investors
in creating a sound financial plan that will help you
achieve whatever goals you have.
In this issue we wish to discuss the retirement
savings vehicle, the RRSP. Registered Retirement
Savings Plans were introduced in 1957, as a way
to promote savings for retirement by Canadian
employees. There are a variety of rules & restrictions
stipulated in the Canadian Income Tax Act but
broken down there are three basic rules that
investors need to be aware of;
1. Each contributor has a maximum annual
deposit allowance that she or he can put in
their plan. This amount is stipulated annually
by CRA.
2. When a deposit is made into your RRSP, the
tax earned on every $1 you contribute is
deferred until the money is withdrawn at
retirement or other.
3. When a withdrawal is made, all proceeds are
considered taxable and are added to your over-
all income for that given year.
One thing we try to get our clients to consider is
where the consequence lies. Since RRSP
savings are tax deferred, the plan is to put the
money away while you are in your higher income
earning years and utilize those savings in your
lower income earning years. However, this isnt
always the case; especially if all you do is save
inside an RRSP plan. Here, at the end of the day,
all of your savings will be deemed income at
withdrawal and will be 100% taxable in your
marginal tax bracket. Therefore the consequence
lies at retirement when you potentially could have
the same or a higher marginal tax rate as you did
in your working years. Over the next few issues
these consequences will become clearer and we
hope to shed some light on the Where when it
comes to your savings and financial goals.
For a no obligation second opinion on your RRSPs
please give us a call, were here to help you. Alford
& Associates is a family owned and operated financial
practice in Brantford. For over 25 years we have
helped our clients secure their financial goals. First
and foremost we help you secure your greatest
asset Your Family.
ALFORD & ASSOCIATES INC
Insurance & Investment Advisors
254 Brant Ave., Brantford, ON N3T-3J5
Ph: (519) 751-0901 Fx: (519)751-0522
Cell: (519) 758-4224
Email:
mike@alfordandassociates.ca
Website:
www.alfordandassociates.ca
LinkedIn:
http://ca.linkedin.com/in/mikeeh
HAVE YOU DECIDED TO TRY
GLUTEN FREE?
SOPHIAS SIGNATURE MULTIGRAIN BREAD IS BAKED FRESH DAILY. IT IS FREE OF GLUTEN,
DAIRY, SOY & SUGAR. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE REFRIGERATED OR FROZEN.
WE PRODUCE OVER 300 LOAVES EACH WEEK. ITS QUITE POSSIBLY
THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD :)
TUESDAY - FRIDAY 9AM-6PM SATURDAY 9AM-3PM CLOSED SUNDAY & MONDAY
SOPHIASBAKERY.CA 519.209.5606 60 COLBORNE ST. (CORNER OF KING ST. & COLBORNE ST.)
DINE IN TAKE OUT CATERING
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 10
Man Enough to be Mom
I would like to put out there an argument you may have
heard before, but dismissed as antiquated and sexist. The
logic of the idea is, I think, very sound, but when you start
to talk about gender roles in todays society you can run
into a lot of high-minded, well-meaning, but ignorant
people. When it comes to child care and the role of nurturer
and parent in the home the choice for which sex is best for
the job is obvious and determined by nature.
It is men.
Now before you get all huffy about rights and progress and
everything else, let me clarify why I believe this is true. No
one can say that the default temperament of a man is not
closest to that of a child. Men are nonsensical, silly, puerile,
irreverent, and prone to making fart jokes - like children.
Women, by contrast, are refined and polite, efficient and
business-like. Such traits, while effective in the working
world, are less than useless when the task at hand is reciting
the alphabet in burps. When you need to help make an artistic
statement on the kitchen floor in tomato sauce and granola,
no one cares where you got your MBA. While a man may,
for a time, be able to tamp down his inclination toward
mayhem and mess to fit in with the suits and pencil pushers,
its like when Superman lost his powers and had to be Clark
Kent all the time. Its not right, and sooner or later hes
going to want to smash stuff.
And who in the world would want to stop him?
For another point, The Hulk would be a more fitting example.
Taking care of children is an incredibly physical task, as
you know if you have ever carried a filthy squirming
toddler and toys and groceries and spare wipes and diapers,
its like being in a rodeo except with more dirt and bucking.
The fairer sex just doesnt have the upper body strength in
most cases. Women are more suited to the rigors of a board-
room than a playroom. Awomans body is not built for the
demands of child rearing any more than a mans muscles
are required in an accountants office. As Seinfelds Elaine
says: "The female body is a work of art. The male body is
utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a Jeep. And when
you want to get around, a jeep is what to have.
Also, children need to be in the outdoors, to get dirty and
bump their knees, to throw rocks in the creek and blow the
fluff off dandelions. They want to pick up bugs and roll
down hills and get weird things caught in their hair. Does
any of that sound like the kinds of things most women want
to do? Since I cannot hear you I will conveniently assume
your answer is no. Women are clean and tidy, eschewing
bugs in favour of chewable vitamins; rubbing hand sanitizer
on themselves instead of mud. A womans manicured
fingernails are made to be perusing a financial statement,
not poking under rocks to see if salamanders come out.
Men are nonsensical,
silly, puerile, irreverent,
and prone to making fart
jokes - like children.
Ladies, how many times have you told your male counter-
part to stop screwing around and acting like a child? There
is a reason for him to be like this and it is part of a grander
plan. Sun Tzu said in The Art Of War, To understand a
child, one must be like a child. And even if he didnt, it
would still be so true that he might as well have. Sometimes
there is a snark hunt scheduled to run through lunchtime
and if we came in and had our grilled cheeses and juice now
then theyd get away. A womans sense of order and
responsibility would never allow such an event to transpire.
But a mans very lack of sense is what makes him such a
good caregiver; being late for lunch will not harm you, but
once the snarks know that they have free rein then the
whole neighborhood is finished.
Sadly, many misandrists still to this day try to cling to their
Neanderthal nonsense that a womans place is in the home
and that females in the workplace is a bane on society.
Imagine what would happen if this were followed to its
logical conclusion. Men being in charge of politics would
make it a banal and infantile game of one-upsmanship and
posing like a kindergarten popularity contest. If men were
at the tops of financial companies then they would probably
just ruin the economies of the world with stock-price
manipulation and hare-brained securities-packaging
schemes and cause recession after recession with their risky
childish games more suited to the playground. If all the
army generals were male then they would most likely
invade other countries like a three-year-old grabs his
playmates toy, unmindful of the hurt feelings and other
collateral damages. I shudder to think of a world in which
these things could happen.
Like the noble emperor penguin, the male should be sitting
on the eggs while the female is out catching fish. It may not
be fair, but Ill say it: Awoman belongs out at work while
the man is at home raising the children. As nature intended.
by Dan Taylor
Facebook: Dan Taylor
Sparking passion in your Work
Coming into the social work world later in life, I managed
to pick up some interests along the way. I love yoga and
was hoping to run a yoga therapy group one day. I
would use a group design I developed while in graduate
school and wow the participants with this progressive
eight week program. Well, I still have not had the
opportunity to implement my brain child, but realized
that I use yoga in my everyday social work practice.
Generally speaking, I utilize some very basic yogic
tenants, such as body and mind awareness, plus the use
of intention. I also realized that perhaps many people
are using premises in their work stemming from
whatever interests, hobbies, or passions they have.
It makes sense from a cognitive behavioural point of
view, as thoughts determine behaviour, so naturally our
cognitions pertaining to whatever gives us bliss will
somehow manifest in our actions. Our chosen field, the
aspects of it that most interest us, and what skills we
bring to it may be traced back to whatever brings us joy.
Writing this article made me realize that I do not have
to actually run a yoga class with my clients to use yoga
techniques, which fall under the heading of mindfulness.
First of all, I bring a certain awareness of my body while
sitting across from my client. I often find myself
scanning it to see where I am holding tension. Some
days are better than others. I try and release the tension
in between clients by doing some light stretches. Being
aware of stress that is being held in my body results in
some stress-busting behaviour. I try and maintain this
body/mind connection throughout the session as I try
and remain aware of how I am sitting, my facial expressions
and how many times I am checking to see what time it
is. I am not perfect. I confess to doing this with some
clients more than with others.
The second yoga technique is being aware of my
thoughts during sessions with clients, as I know that
they will come out in my behaviour whether it is look-
ing quizzically, shifting uncomfortably in my seat, or
putting my hand over my mouth. I have to admit that I
do this when I want my client to stop saying whatever
it is he or she is saying, and that I do not agree with. I
accept that I am human with feelings, thoughts and
opinions formed from my past experiences, and as such
they are difficult to separate from and for me to be
totally objective. This awareness, however, helps me to
stay focused on my clients issues and not mine.
The third way yoga manifests itself in my role as a
social worker is in the realm of intentions. Being
conscious of my intentions for the day results in more
cognitive behavioural awareness in that my intentions
or hopes, determine how I act. For example, most days
I sit quietly each morning and project positive intentions.
Some days I am better at doing this than on other days.
However, I know the days that I miss sitting quietly, as
I am less grounded and become irritated more easily.
Before my counseling sessions I try to spend a few
moments in silence and make a resolution to remain
centered and focused on my client. I also intend for me
to be in my body and feel comfortable there. This helps
me to fidget less and feel more at home in my body.
Being centered in ones body helps to integrate ones
feelings, which is so important to healing, and just a
good example to set.
Anyones hobby or passion can, and probably is,
already being incorporated into whatever area of social
work that they are working in. For example, mindfulness
of body, thoughts and intentions can come as a result
from gardening, playing music, writing, being in nature,
fishing, quilting and so on. It is an offshoot of any
activity that relaxes us and places us closer to our spirit.
So, perhaps another word for mindfulness is soulfulness.
We are helping to bring a soulful approach to our practice.
For me, soulfulness is akin to authenticity and genuineness.
A most effective trio when developing a therapeutic al-
liance and relationship.
There is also the practical side of bringing our hobby,
passion or existing skills to our job as a social worker.
A love of gardening can produce wonderful community
gardens. Skillfulness in social media can advance ones
agency in terms of public relationships or train hesitant
staff. Providing music lessons individually or with other
musicians to high priority children, can add diversity
and more meaning to your work. Weaving your passion
into your work can lead to writing an article like this
one, presenting your project to your co-workers or
community partners. The dreaded job of public
speaking can be made easier by talking about something
that excites you, and that you are comfortable with and
knowledgeable about. More importantly, your projects
can help stir ideas in others. When I was young I drew
a picture of myself sitting at a typewriter. Who knew I
would be writing an article many, many years later? I
also wanted to be a singer and here I am many, many
years later teaching yoga. This helps me to find and
express my voice. It also helps me to be a better social
worker, whether or not I teach a class to my clients or
not, as I am bringing a sense of mindfulness to my
thoughts, actions and intentions.
Friday, February 15, 2013 Brantford Civic Centre
Doors Open 6:30 Card Packages: $30.00
Nine $100 games One $1,000 game Two 50/50 games
All proceeds support the programs of the Brantford Seniors Resource Centre
Charity Bingo for the Brantford Seniors Resource Centre
$2,000 IN CASH PRIZES
by Holly MacDonald
Diary of a PSW
Today has been one of those days with a lot of driving
involved in it. I spent three hours of an 8-hour day driving
to the clients homes. It was a day filled with mixed
emotions and much reflection from my clients which made
it all worthwhile.
My first client is an infant with hydrocephalus. His name
is Carter and he loves to have his bath. From the outside
looking in, one would feel this is more of a housekeeping
visit with all that is needed to be done. I do what I can in
the time allotted which sounds like a lot at three hours. I
could easily stay here all day and have him be my only
client, as it is a rewarding, purposeful and most enjoyable
visit for both Carter and myself.
I learn so much from this little guy every time. He has had
surgery on top of surgery since his birth, when he weighed
over 12 pounds. Now hes a normal toddler weight but his
head is heavy for him to lift at times. He was given a poor
prospect of living when he was born and is now almost two.
He uses a stand device to strengthen his muscles in case he
picks up how to crawl or walk or pull himself up. He was
born with only of his total brain surface as the fluid build
up compressed his brain in his skull. He is difficult to look
at at first glance, but after getting to be his caregiver for
sometime, he is the cutest thing Ive ever seen.
Today he learned to take his first belly laugh. He and his
parents are delighted at his new trick. I was interacting with
him for responses while he was in his bath, and decided to
throw his rubber ducky, which he thought that was the
greatest thing. To see his face light up for the first time and
engage in a full belly laugh, made my whole day. I involve
his young parents in the bath time care so they were
delighted to witness one of his firsts, as there has been few
in almost two years.
Shes 16 and lost both
parents in a car accident.
Marie is paralyzed from
the neck down,
depressed, suicidal and
the care plan calls for
safety supervision and
companionship.
My next client, Clarence, is an older gentleman who needed
assistance doing his physio. He lives on the boundary of a
neighboring village and nobody knows who should be
doing his care regularly. So hed been left with no help for
months while waiting for them to figure it out. Finally, our
agency took him on and he is receiving much needed care.
This task may sound minimal for some as its not an activity
of regular daily living. However, in the time of him not
doing the exercises, his muscles have atrophied and he can
no longer walk to the door safely without assistance. He
lives in the country which has now left him in an unsafe
setting. His condition may require long term care soon if
we cant affect change in his muscles and strength. He's
very isolated and appreciative of our visit. Today, I brought
him a Timmys, which goes against policy, but I dont think
anyone would say anything as it has made his whole day
to know someone was thinking of him as his own kids
havent been by for a visit in awhile. He is also depressed
and has no desire to do anything as his 37-year-old son
passed over a year ago from a chicken pox related stroke
which happened very suddenly.
My last client of the day is a doozy. Shes 16 and lost both
parents in a car accident. Marie is paralyzed from the neck
down, depressed, suicidal and the care plan calls for safety
supervision and companionship. There are no personal care
tasks needing to be done today. Its strictly a mental health
visit. She is angry at her caretakers because they are
concerned about her physical needs, and therapists for her
bones keep coming by measuring her for a bed, chair and
other items she will require. The family members in her life
are dealing with their own grief so much they can't or
haven't had a chance to just talk to her about her feelings,
her outbursts and her insurmountable grief. She's a delightful
girl who can still a bright future once they figure out her
chair, her funding and her care team. Shes worried about
everyone else and not so much about her own self. At first,
she refuses care from anyone in relation to her depression
and her suicidal feelings. As she cant physically do harm
to herself (being paralyzed), this makes me realize she is
self-harming from within her mind by saying its all her fault
and that she feels worthless. I suspect she has survivors
guilt as well. So we just let her talk about her feelings this
time and why she thinks she is feeling this way. It becomes
clear there is hope as she sees her chair for the first time,
and the hope that she will maybe get out of bed someday
soon. Perhaps today is the first day she has been allowed to
dream and hope since the accident. She hasnt told anyone
she's been living in hell since that day. Today is a bit of a
turning point, I believe she is thinking now about the future
and maybe being able to now continue her life and going
out in her chair. As we talk about schools, there was a bit of
a gleam when we discuss for a moment that there are
devices she can control with her breath so she can still be
on the computer and continue her studies down the road.
In the beginning, when I heard of the upcoming visit, it left
me anxious and not too certain if I wanted to accept it. In
the end, it was a visit I will never forget. This is what they
taught us that we do; instill hope. I have no worries this girl
will become an excellent graphic designer. Shes already
gotten so far through her own self- determination. Shes
taught me about inner strength and empathy; more than Id
ever known before.
by Brenda Bondy-Caldicott
Facebook: Brenda Bondy-Caldicott
February 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate
Page 11
519.209.4189 octopusred.com
what can we
do for you?
A Proposal for Change
Political parties are professional organizations that are
in a relationship with those who financially support
their existence. Once elected, the party in power enacts
laws that benefit their supporters. All political parties
have their own set of rules and in accordance with those
rules, and take a position on issues that form that partys
political agenda. These parties focus on attaining power
and, once in power, focus on retaining that power.
The basic rule of political parties is to gain the voting
support of the majority who vote to attain political
power and become the government. This is called
democracy, or put another way, the rule of the majority.
Unfortunately, the inherent defect in this process is the
temptation to ignore, or even to unfairly treat, minority
voters or those human beings who have no voice or vote
at all. When the winning political party becomes the
government it enacts law that is either the expression of
the rule of law or rule by law.
I define the rule of law as government by laws that people
are willing to obey because there is a general consensus
that the laws are inherently just. The ideal of the rule of
law is to live in a democratic society that places
constitutional limits on the power of government,
permanently protects inalienable human rights and
fundamental freedoms from undue encroachment, and
provides equality before laws administered by an
independent judiciary. This is the opposite of rule by
law, which is government by unjust laws, where the
government may exercise arbitrary powers and may
abridge at will, by majority vote, inalienable human
rights and remove from constitutional protection the
inalienable civil rights of any human being.
Justice is the defining characteristic in a society
governed by the rule of law. Deferential coerced
obedience is the defining characteristic in a rule by law
society. Without a moral component consistent with
natural law, there can be no rule of law. Law with
morality is foundational to the upholding of truth and
justice. Respect for every human being as a person
means that human beings are paramount to the government.
The government exists for the benefit of every human
being; human beings deserve dignity and respect from
the government.
Elected representatives are often forced to vote along
party lines to support the majority interests within their
own party, as freedom of conscience, a basic constitutional
right guaranteed in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms,
is overridden by the enforcer, the party whip. It is a rare
occasion when the leader of any political party permits
a free vote.
Solution
In my opinion, it is long overdue for the Ontario
Legislative Assembly to return to its fundamental roots.
We need statesmen, men and women of integrity who
are independent of party doctrines and policies, who
fearlessly and fairly represent both minority and majority
views in their constituency. Professional politicians are
not wanted.
In this era of the Internet and mass media, there is
opportunity for anyone to run for public office as an
independent with clear positions on issues that the
voters can either accept or reject. Freedom from
political parties means freedom of conscience and
freedom from obligations to lobbyists and those who
financially support elected representatives.
Political parties need to be eliminated, for they are
detrimental to representative democracy based upon
one vote upon freedom of conscience. Issues that need
resolution must not be classified as a matter of the left
or right, but simply as matters that can be resolved by
asking what can we all agree upon in a society that
values equality, fairness, justice, family, children, life,
liberty, and minorities over the individual or corporate
pursuit of wealth, selfishness, exploitation, power, and
ego. Political parties undermine the rule of law and
substitute a form of rule by law that people instinctively
reject. Prime recent examples are the recent decisions
by Ontarios governing party to use Bill 115 to force a
collective agreement with public school teachers, and
the dissolution of the legislature that effectively silenced
debate about allegations of scandal and government
mismanagement.
The first step is the abolition of taxpayer-funded
subsidies of political parties and the elimination of
political parties.
Application
This non-partisan movement can begin right here in
Brant County. New ideas ought to be shared and
debated in the public forum. For this reason, I am posting
my ideas for change, and encourage any candidate to
adopt my ideas to make this world a better place.
I am encouraged by the quality of the candidates that
have so far announced their intention to run in the next
provincial election. I may be biased in my admiration
of both Phil Gillies and Dave Levac, as I know them
personally and respect both of them.
But both candidates are loyal members of established
political parties. This means that some of my ideas for
change will be rejected by their respective political
parties, even if privately Dave or Phil agree with me.
Voters sometimes say, right person, wrong party. Why
not say right person, right ideas?
Ontario is poised to elect another minority government.
There is no better time to begin the transition to
government by independent free thinkers who are not
bound to political ideology.
by Dr. Charles I. Lugosi
Solidarity
Sandy Hook Elementary School, Bill 115, and Bill C-
45; three events that created the opportunity for people
to bring their hearts and minds together through
technology, and more specifically, social media.
The first event saw millions of people sharing their love
and sympathy to a community of broken hearts and
questioning minds, devastated by the loss of their
children. Candles shone in windows, school signs sent
prayers, and television shows paid tribute to the lost.
Bill 115 caused students to voice their disdain for the
retraction of rights and the threats it brings to the rights
of all workers, not just teachers. Labour organizations
representing other workers picketed alongside teachers
on their rolling strikes.
Bill C-45 inspired a movement that was already brewing.
Idle No More has brought about an amazing solidarity
across the country and in various places around the
world, with people calling on the Canadian government
to make people and land a priority, and to finally put an
end to the history of colonization. Every day, I check
their Facebook page to see what new photos have been
posted from places not of this land, and I find it truly
inspiring to see how social media has provided a venue
for people to share a voice.
February brings another day for actions of solidarity.
Most know Valentines Day as a day when people
express their affection and devotion. For more than a
decade, the day has taken on a new meaning ending
violence against women. All around the world, on this
day, there are actions to bring awareness to the issue.
This is a community issue, not a womans issue, and it
is through solidarity that we will move faster to
eradicating violence against women. I am thankful for
each agency and organization that has ever stepped
forward and worked with the Sexual Assault Centre
because we cannot do our work on our own with just
five of us. We need the whole community to support us,
our clients, and our mission of creating a just social and
political world.
Solidarity. One of the first terms I learned in Labour
Studies. I had heard it before, and knew the history of
Solidarnosc, the movement that liberated Poland from
the Soviet Union, but it was not until my academic
studies that I gave pause to what it means, feels like, and
how it actually plays out in both big and small ways,
creating strong impacts on history and community.
Solidarity is what gave the labour movement of the early
1900s, the Civil Rights movement of the 60s, the
Womens Movement of the 70s to now, and the Human
Rights movements of recent times their power. We cannot
expect people to carry a struggle all on their own. Each
person that has a similar mind and heart needs to carry
some of it, which gives those directly involved hope and
strength because they know they are not alone. Over the
last six weeks we have been witness to countless acts of
solidarity. Some quiet in prayer and candlelight, and others
through dance and song, and drum. Some acts are momentary
such as the Fast4Change campaign where each participant
fasted in solidarity with Chief Spence for 24 hours. For
me, Solidarity means removing yourself from your present,
if only for a moment, and lending your voice, if only a
word, to someone elses struggle. There is a privilege that
needs to be recognized as acts of solidarity allow us to
step in and out of an active struggle at our convenience,
but coming together is how we change what is not working
for us, and how we join our hearts and minds to create the
change that we need, to have a kind and peaceful life.
by Carrie Sinkowski
Reflections on Bill 115
The Ontarios governments Bill 115 has created a crisis
in our schools. Students have been lleft in the dark,
completely in the dark, some of us more than others. The
worst part is, in most cases, we only know as much as
our teachers do.
We as students want our voices to be heard. We want our
extracurricular activities back, but most of us do not even
know what we are fighting against or who we are fighting
against. Most of us do not know who to listen to as
everyones facts and opinions vary. We do not know who
to ask, as our parents have viewpoints and teachers can
only say so much. So in all the confusion that has been
created, some of us protest in a way that does nothing
for us. Some students skipped class to stand out front of
a school with misspelled signs, not knowing which side
they were even on.
In reality, sides shouldnt even be picked. How do we
even know who to choose or what to choose? You hear
the students talk and, at first, they all blame the teachers,
thinking they have decided to stop providing those
extracurricular activities. Someone finally says that the
unions are making them stop extracurricular activities,
so then we blame the unions. Then its realized that they
are just trying to stand up for their teachers in a counter
argument to the government. Lastly, we begin to blame
the government, but most of us do not even know why
and those of us who do only know about Bill 115, the
two year contract, as well as a few of the details of both.
Students are playing the blame game and do not know
the whole story.
But that creates the question: does anyone? From our
understanding, extracurricular activities were removed
to apply pressure, to make students complain to their parents,
who in return would complain to the government who
make the decisions for the people. But if nothing has
changed, does that not imply that something is not
working?
A two-year contract. That indicates that everything
should go back to normal. But is this not a forced
contract, creating the same problems and worries of the
Bill? Students are being affected just as much as everyone
else and we do not have the access to the information
we wish we did. We just want to understand.
Scholarships, experience, university, college, the whole
world ahead of us: extracurricular activities covered all
of this. Grade 12: the last year of school. It means prom,
graduation, grad breakfast and a year to make memories.
Extracurricular activities allowed post-secondary
schools to give out scholarships, a necessity for some
students because financial burden of post-secondary
school is too much. Extracurricular activities provided
experience and helped some of us to decide what our
future career was. It inspired students, initiated a spark
and ignited a flame. Some students even realize a
passion for teaching this way.
Some students skipped
class to stand out front
of a school with
misspelled signs, not
knowing which side
they were even on.
We want our sports, drama, students council, activism,
the gay-straight alliance, LINK crew, and A.S.I.S.T.
team. Some of these extras are critical to some people.
The gay-straight alliance allowed people to understand
and come to terms with their sexuality as well as feel
supported by peers, LINK crew was a group of older
students acting as mentors and welcoming the grade
nines into their first year of high school, and A.S.I.S.T.
team was a group of students who were there for
students, so they could express their feelings especially
when overwhelmed, stressed and/or depressed.
There are also many students who know they need to
keep their grades up to do these activities, and now that
they are gone they may not have the motivation to get
good grades. For other students, these activities provided
downtime or a non-stressful environment, where they
could escape all outside events, drama and pressures.
Another extremely difficult struggle with this situation
is that a lot of us do not know how to express and share
our voice. We want to share these opinions. We want our
voices to be heard, and our attempts, the good and the
bad, do not seem to express what we want. As students
we want these privileges back. As human beings we all
know that we work harder when there is a reward at the
end, working at school means the ability to participate
in extracurricular activities. Therefore, this situation has
become an uncomfortable, not understood predicament.
In general, students just want to know, hear, see and
understand that which affects us.
by Kyndra Donaldson
WOMENS DAY
INTERNATIONAL
THE FOURTH ANNUAL
IN SUPPORT OF NOVA VITA
JOIN US WEDNESDAY MARCH 6TH 2013
FEATURING A PERFORMANCE BY
CANADIAN RECORDING ARTIST
KIM DAVIS
Tickets $65.00/ea
Available at all Scotia bank locations in Brantford
or https://guestlistapp.com/events/144273
Contact Michelle Heaslip at 519-752-1005 ext. 232
for seating arrangements or dietary requirements
(Photo feauturing Canadian Recording Artist Kim Davis)