How To Write in English PDF

Writing
Scientific English as a Foreign Language

Writing Assignments and Course Material
Terese Bergfors

VT 2013 Uppsala University

Keeping Track of Homework Exercises for WSE2013

This is to help you keep track of what assignments are made throughout the course, when they are due, and to whom they should be sent. All written assignments must be completed to receive credit for the course. Assignments should be sent in unless otherwise noted below. This update: 15 January 2013 Homework assignment Send to Date Done? due CM1 1-5 pages of your own scientific writing. Christine 5 Feb Double-spaced. & Terese 1 Daily writing log (hand-out in class) in class 26 Mar DO NOT SEND IN: bring with you to each (last class. day) 2 Improve these titles Terese 8 Feb 5 p.m. 3 Analyzing article titles. Choose five titles Terese 8 Feb from a journal. 5 p.m. 4 Working with abstracts: color coding Terese 12 Feb DO NOT SEND THIS IN: bring it with you to class on 12 Feb CM2 Rewritten (corrected) versions of your Christine 5 Mar own scientific writing. 1-5 pages, noon double-spaced. DS1 Foxes, Grass, and Hares: make a graph David 5 Mar or table noon 5 Hangovers due to congeners abstract Terese 15 Mar 5 p.m. 6 Write it shorter. Shortest and best Terese 15 Mar rewrite gets a prize. 5 p.m. 7 Active voice: rewrite from passive voice Terese 15 Mar 5 p.m. 8 Hedgewords Terese 16 Mar 5 p.m. 9 Analysis for assertion words, hedge Terese 15 Mar words, and conjuncts: Ribozyme article 5 p.m. 10 Materials & Methods: brownie recipe or Terese 22 Mar a M&M from your own work 5 p.m. 11 Analysis of key sentences Terese 26 Mar (hand-out in class) DO NOT SEND IN; (last bring with you to class day) Total 14 assignments E-mail addresses: Terese.bergfors@icm.uu.se or use my mailbox outside B7:205 (ICM) christine.mackay@engelska.uu.se spoel@xray.bmc.uu.se
Schedule for Writing Scientific English, Spring Term 2013 Tuesdays, 14.15-16.00 at BMC (Biomedicum)
week Date
this update: 3 Jan 2013

room BMC
Lecture topic Introduction to IMRAD Titles, Analysis of abstracts The structure of a scientific article (IMRAD), continued. Hedgewords, Wordiness English: the main language problems. Feedback on your first essay LaTeX: a document preparation system e.g., writing theses How to prepare the Tables and Figure legends. Feed back on the Hares & Foxes exercise. Analysis of the sentences. Feedback on 1-5 pages of your own scientific writing. IMRAD, continued. The editorial/referee process. Dealing with referees and editors. Being a referee.
Instructor Terese Bergfors Terese Bergfors Christine Mackay David van der Spoel David van der Spoel Christine Mackay
6 7 8 9
5 Feb 12 Feb 19 Feb 26 Feb 5 Mar 12 Mar 19 Mar 26 Mar
C8:325 C8:325 C8:325 C8:325
What to read in Days book before the lecture chapters 7 and 9 verb tenses p. 53, 57, 60, 66, 191-193, 218 chapters 30, 31, 32, appendix 2 OPTIONAL lecture
10 11 12 13
C8:325 C8:325 C8:325
chapters 16, 17, 18 chapters 33, 34 chapters 10, 11, 12, 13 chapters 6, 19-22
Terese Bergfors N.B.! Terese A1:104b Bergfors
IMRADbuildingblocks
Exercise1:Writinglog(handoutinclass)Tobefilled ineveryweekofthecourseandturnedinthelastday. Exercise2:Improvethesetitles

Source:Matthewsetal.2000SuccessfulScientificWriting,2ndEdition,Cambridge UniversityPress. Howcouldthefollowingmanuscripttitlesbeimproved?Bepreparedtoexplainyour choices. 1. PlantarsWartRemoval:ReportofaCaseofRecurrenceofVerrucaafter CurativeExcision 2. CharacteristicsofColumbineFlowersareCorrelatewithTheirPollinator 3. PandaMatingFails:VeterinarianTakesOver 4. GleaningsOnTheBionomicsAndBehaviorOfTheEastAsiaticNonsocial Wasps.III.TheSubfamilyCrabroninaeWithAKeyToTheSpeciesOfTheTribe CrabroniniOccurringInFormosaAndTheRyukyus,ContributionsToThe KnowledgeOfTheBehaviorOfCrabronineFauna,AndChangesInThe TaxonomicPositionOfThreeSpeciesOfCrabroniniOccurringInJapan 5. ReportofNewHealthDataResultsfromthe1999NationalASAPFYIERGO HealthStudy:LungCancerinWomenMushrooms.
Exercise3.
Analyzingarticletitles
SomeoftheexamplesusedherehavebeenextractedfromCargill&OConnors bookWritingScientificResearchArticlesWiley&Blackwell,2009. Exercise:Choosefivetitlesfromajournaltypicalforyourfieldandanalyzethe following: 1. Whattypeoftitleisit?(Hanging,sentence,question,series,ornounphrase?) 2. Howmanywordsareinthetitle? 3. Whatisthefirstideainthetitle? 4. Rewritethetitlewithadifferentideainfirstplaceorasadifferenttitletype (i.e.,ifitisahangingtitle,rewriteitasasentence.) Guidelinesforgoodtitles 1. Titlesshouldbeshort:around1012words 2. Abbreviations,jargon,etc.shouldbeavoided.Writehydrochloricacid,not HCl.Reallycommonabbreviations(DNA)areokay. 3. Putthekeywordsatthefrontofyourtitle.Thinklikethesearchengines. Example:Whatisthedifferenceinemphasisinthesethreetitles? Calciumadditionimprovessalinitytoleranceoftomatoplants Tomatoplants:improvedtolerancetosalinitybyadditionofcalcium. Salinitytoleranceoftomatoplantsimprovedbycalciumaddition.
4. Typesoftitles:nounphrase,hanging,statement,orquestion.Whatkinds areacceptedbythejournalwhereyouplantopublish?Whatdodifferent expertssayaboutthem? Titletype Example(s) Nounphrase: Hangingtitle: Seriestitles: Statement: Question: Foodexpenditurepatternsinurbanand ruralIndonesia FoodexpenditureinIndonesia:patterns inurbanandruralareas FoodexpenditureinIndonesia.V. Patternsinruralandurbanareas. Foodexpenditurepatternsdifferin urbanandruralIndonesia Dofoodexpenditurepatternsdifferin urbanandruralIndonesia?
THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007

This page is for fun. Just read it and laugh. Do you understand why these titles are (unintentionally) funny?
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says **[No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers *[Now that's taking things a bit far!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death **[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!] Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant **[See if that works any better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hope for Peace **[I can see where it might have that effect!]* If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile **[You think?]* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures **[Who would have thought!] Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide **[They may be on to something!]* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges **[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge **[he probably /_IS _/the battery charge!]* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group **[Weren't they fat enough?!]* Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft **[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks **[Taste like chicken?] * Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half **[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors **[Boy, are they tall!]* And the winner is.... *Typhoon Rips ThroughCemetery; Hundreds Dead
WritingScientificEnglish TereseBergfors Exercise:WorkingwithAbstracts
TheFourPartsofanAbstract Keyword Thequestion What How Results Impact *Otherverbtensesarepossible,butifyoukeeptotheseyou willbecorrect.
Whatistheproblem? Howisitsolved? (methodology) Whatarethespecific results? Sowhat?Howisthis useful?(conclusions)
Verb tense* Present Past Past Present (even future)
Color orange pink yellow green
Abstract Example 1 from this journal: These three abstracts are examples of STRUCTURAL ABSTRACTS, a type often used by medical journals.
Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research
Volume 34, Issue 3, pages 519527, March 2010
Ecological Associations of Alcohol Outlets With Underage and Young Adult Injuries
Paul J. Gruenewald, et al. Copyright 2009 by the Research Society on Alcoholism Issue
Keywords:
Alcohol Outlets; Underage Drinking; Young Adult Drinking; Drinking-Related Problems; Hospital Discharges
Abstract
Objective: This paper argues that associations between rates of 3 specific problems related to alcohol (i.e., accidents, traffic crashes, and assaults) should be differentially related to densities of alcohol outlets among underage youth and young adults based upon age-related patterns of alcohol outlet use. Methods: Zip code-level population models assessed local and distal effects of alcohol outlets upon rates of hospital discharges for these outcomes. Results: Densities of off-premise alcohol outlets were significantly related to injuries from accidents, assaults, and traffic crashes for both underage youth and young adults. Densities of bars were associated with more assaults and densities of restaurants were associated with more traffic crash injuries for young adults. Conclusions: The distribution of alcohol-related injuries relative to alcohol outlets reflect patterns of alcohol outlet use.
AbstractExample2
Obesity (2006) 14, 14211428; doi: 10.1038/oby.2006.161
Obesity and Attained Education: Cohort Study of More Than 700,000 Swedish Men
Abstract Objective: To study the relationship between BMI at age 18 years and later attained education, with control for intelligence and parental social position. Research Methods and Procedures: A cohort of 752,283 Swedish men born from 1952 to 1973 were followed in registers with respect to attainment of high education (>15 years of education) until December 31, 2001. Intelligence and BMI (kilograms per meter squared) were measured at compulsory military conscription at age 18 years. Ninth grade school marks were available for a subgroup born from 1972 to 1973 (N = 93,374). The hazard ratio for attaining high education was estimated with proportional hazard regression analysis controlling for intelligence, height, parental socioeconomic position, country of birth, conscription center, and municipality. Results: Young men who were obese (BMI >30) at age 18 years (N = 10,782) had a much lower chance of attaining a high education than normal-weight subjects [ (18.5 < BMI < 25); adjusted hazard ratio 0.48 (95% confidence interval, 0.45, 0.52)] . Young men who were obese at age 18 had lower mean ninth grade school marks than young men with normal weight at any given intelligence level. Discussion: Obese men in Sweden are doing much worse in the educational system than their normal-weight counterparts even after adjustments for intelligence and parental socioeconomic position. Discrimination in the educational system and other sectors of the society may explain these strong associations.
Abstractexample3fromtheJournalofPediatrics
A prospective comparison of bone density in adolescent girls receiving depot medroxyprogesterone acetate (Depo-Provera), levonorgestrel (Norplant), or oral contraceptives
Barbara A. Cromer, MD, Jamie McArdle Blair, RN, MS, John D. Mahan, MD, Lara Zibners, BS, and Zoran Naumovski, BA From the Department of Pediatrics, Ohio State University, and the Section of Adolescent Health, Children's Hospital, Columbus
Objective: To examine bone density among adolescents receiving different forms of hormonal contraception along with that of control subjects. Methods: Baseline and I-year measures of lumbar vertebral bone density were obtained in girls receiving depot medroxyprogesterone acetate (Depo-Provera) (n = 15), levonorgestrel (Norplant) (n = 7), or oral contraceptives (n = 9) and in girls receiving no hormonal treatment (n = 17). In a subsample of Depo-Provera users (n = 8), Norplant users (n = 3), and control subjects (n = 4), bone density measurements were repeated after 2 years. Bone density was measured by dual-energy x-ray absorptiometry. Results: Body mass indexes, level of pubertal development, substance use, and reproductive histories were not significantly different among the groups. More black girls were represented in the initial Depo-Provera group (p <0.02), girls in the Norplant group exercised more hours per week (p <0.02), and control subjects were older (p <0.0 I) than those in the other groups. These variables did not significantly affect bone density results. After I year, bone density decreased 1.5% in Depo-Provera users, compared with increases of 2.5% in Norplant users, 1.5% in oral contraceptive users, and 2.9% control subjects (p <0.02). After 2 years, bone density increased a total of 9.3% in Norplant users and 9.5% in control subjects but decreased a total of 3. I% in Depo-Provera users (p <0.000 I). Conclusion: These data suggest that Depo-Provera may, at least temporarily, suppress the expected skeletal bone mineralization in adolescents, whereas Norplant and oral contraceptives are associated with the expected increase in bone density in this population. (J Pediatr 1996; 129:671-6)
Copyright 1996 by Mosby-Year Book, Inc. 0022-3476/96/$5.00 + 0 9/21/76033
Exercise4.Workingwithabstracts:
Colorcodetheabstractsandunderlinetheverbs.Whatverbtensesareused?Seethe examplebelow.Theanswertothefirstoneisonthenextpage. EXAMPLE Nat Methods. 2009 Jan;6(1):83-90. Epub 2008 Dec 7.
An empirical framework for binary interactome mapping.

Venkatesan K, et al. Several attempts have been made to systematically map protein-protein interaction, or 'interactome', networks. However, it remains difficult to assess the quality and coverage of existing data sets. Here we describe a framework that uses an empirically-based approach to rigorously dissect quality parameters of currently available human interactome maps. Our results indicate that high-throughput yeast two-hybrid (HT-Y2H) interactions for human proteins are more precise than literature-curated interactions supported by a single publication, suggesting that HT-Y2H is suitable to map a significant portion of the human interactome. We estimate that the human interactome contains approximately 130,000 binary interactions, most of which remain to be mapped. Similar to estimates of DNA sequence data quality and genome size early in the Human Genome Project, estimates of protein interaction data quality and interactome size are crucial to establish the magnitude of the task of comprehensive human interactome mapping and to elucidate a path toward this goal. Keyword What How Results Impact The question What is the problem? How is it solved? (methodology) What are the specific results? So what? How is this useful? (conclusions) Verb tense Color Orange Pink Yellow Green
ANSWER TO THE EXAMPLE

Nat Methods. 2009 Jan;6(1):83-90. Epub 2008 Dec 7.
An empirical framework for binary interactome mapping.

Venkatesan K, et al.
Several attempts have been made to systematically map protein-protein interaction, or 'interactome', networks. However, it remains difficult to assess the quality and coverage of existing data sets. Here we describe a framework that uses an empirically-based approach to rigorously dissect quality parameters of currently available human interactome maps. Our results indicate that high-throughput yeast two-hybrid (HT-Y2H) interactions for human proteins are more precise than literature-curated interactions supported by a single publication, suggesting that HT-Y2H is suitable to map a significant portion of the human interactome. We estimate that the human interactome contains approximately 130,000 binary interactions, most of which remain to be mapped. Similar to estimates of DNA sequence data quality and genome size early in the Human Genome Project, estimates of protein interaction data quality and interactome size are crucial to establish the magnitude of the task of comprehensive human interactome mapping and to elucidate a path toward this goal. Keyword What How Results Impact The question What is the problem? How is it solved? (methodology) What are the specific results? So what? How is this useful? (conclusions) Verb tense present present present present Color Orange Pink Yellow Green
ABSTRACT #1
Cost-effective strategies for completing the interactome.

Schwartz AS, Yu J, Gardenour KR, Finley RL Jr, Ideker T. Department of Bioengineering, University of California at San Diego, 9500 Gilman Drive, La Jolla, CA 92093, USA.
Comprehensive protein-interaction mapping projects are underway for many model species and humans. A key step in these projects is estimating the time, cost and personnel required for obtaining an accurate and complete map. Here we modeled the cost of interaction-map completion for various experimental designs. We showed that current efforts may require up to 20 independent tests covering each protein pair to approach completion. We explored designs for reducing this cost substantially, including prioritization of protein pairs, probability thresholding and interaction prediction. The best experimental designs lowered cost by fourfold overall and >100-fold in early stages of mapping. We demonstrate the best strategy in an ongoing project in Drosophila melanogaster, in which we mapped 450 high-confidence interactions using 47 microtiter plates, versus thousands of plates expected using current designs. This study provides a framework for assessing the feasibility of interaction mapping projects and for future efforts to increase their efficiency. Keyword What How Results Impact The question What is the problem? How is it solved? (methodology) What are the specific results? So what? How is this useful? (conclusions) Verb tense Color Orange Pink Yellow Green
ABSTRACT #2
Integrated network analysis platform for protein-protein interactions.

Wu J, Vallenius T, Ovaska K, Westermarck J, Mkel TP, Hautaniemi S. Genome-Scale Biology Program, Institute of Biomedicine, University of Helsinki, Haartmaninkatu 8, Helsinki, Finland. jianmin.wu@helsinki.fi
There is an increasing demand for network analysis of protein-protein interactions (PPIs). We introduce a web-based protein interaction network analysis platform (PINA), which integrates PPI data from six databases and provides network construction, filtering, analysis and visualization tools. We demonstrated the advantages of PINA by analyzing two human PPI networks; our results suggested a link between LKB1 and TGFbeta signaling, and revealed possible competitive interactors of p53 and c-Jun. Keyword What How Results Impact The question What is the problem? How is it solved? (methodology) What are the specific results? So what? How is this useful? (conclusions) Verb tense Color Orange Pink Yellow Green
ABSTRACT #3
An in vitro microfluidic approach to generating protein-interaction networks.

Gerber D, Maerkl SJ, Quake SR. Department of Bioengineering, Stanford University and Howard Hughes Medical Institute, 318 Campus Drive, Stanford, CA 94305, USA.
We developed an in vitro protein expression and interaction analysis platform based on a highly parallel and sensitive microfluidic affinity assay, and used it for 14,792 on-chip experiments, which exhaustively measured the protein-protein interactions of 43 Streptococcus pneumoniae proteins in quadruplicate. The resulting network of 157 interactions was denser than expected based on known networks. Analysis of the network revealed previously undescribed physical interactions among members of some biochemical pathways. Keyword What How Results Impact The question What is the problem? How is it solved? (methodology) What are the specific results? So what? How is this useful? (conclusions) Verb tense Color Orange Pink Yellow Green
ABSTRACT #4
Sensitive, specific polymorphism discovery in bacteria using massively parallel sequencing.

Nusbaum C, Ohsumi TK, Gomez J, Aquadro J, Victor TC, Warren RM, Hung DT, Birren BW, Lander ES, Jaffe DB. Broad Institute of Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard University, 320 Charles Street, Cambridge, MA 02141, USA.
Our variant ascertainment algorithm, VAAL, uses massively parallel DNA sequence data to identify differences between bacterial genomes with high sensitivity and specificity. VAAL detected approximately 98% of differences (including large insertion-deletions) between pairs of strains from three species while calling no false positives. VAAL also pinpointed a single mutation between Vibrio cholerae genomes, identifying an antibiotic's site of action by identifying sequence differences between drug-sensitive strains and drugresistant derivatives. Keyword What How Results Impact The question What is the problem? How is it solved? (methodology) What are the specific results? So what? How is this useful? (conclusions) Verb tense Color Orange Pink Yellow Green
ABSTRACT #5
Journal of Structural Geology, on line 11 December 2009 Interpretation and analysis of planetary structures
Abstract
Structural geology is an integral part of planetary science. Planetary structures provide the framework for determining the character and sequence of crustal deformation while simultaneously establishing the observational basis required to test geodynamic hypotheses for the deformation of planetary and satellite lithospheres. The availability of datasets that record spatial and topographic information with a resolution that matches or, in many cases, exceeds, what is available for Earth-based studies permits the deformation of several planets and satellites to be investigated down to the local or outcrop scales. The geometry and kinematics of common planetary structures such as joints, igneous dikes, deformation bands, faults, and folds can be determined with confidence from their distinctive morphologic and topographic signatures, enabling the structural histories and deformation magnitudes to be determined. Segmentation, displacement profiles, relayramps, footwall anticlines, displacement-controlled depocenters, and other well-known characteristics of terrestrial normal fault and graben systems reveal the sequence and processes of fault growth in numerous planetary examples. Systems of thrust faults having both blind and surface-breaking components are important elements on several bodies including Mercury, the Moon, and Mars. Strike-slip faults have been identified on bodies including Mars and Europa with oblique extension found on Ganymede. Using field-based studies of Earth-based structures as a guide, planetary structures provide a means to explore and evaluate the causative stresses. Despite the wide range in structural styles across the solar system, plate tectonics is recognized only on the Earth, with the other planets and satellites deforming in the absence of large-scale horizontal motions and attendant plate recycling. Keyword What How Results Impact The question What is the problem? How is it solved? (methodology) What are the specific results? So what? How is this useful? (conclusions) Verb tense Color Orange Pink Yellow Green
Exercise5:Hangovers.Writeanabstractinthe IMRADstylefromtheinformationgivenhere.
Whatspellinghavetheyusedhere?BritishorAmerican?Youmaywriteyour abstractusingthespellingconventionofyourchoice.JustdonotmixBritishand Americanspelling.
Source:News and ViewsNature 462, 992 (24 December 2009)
Hangovers: Uncongenial congeners

Andrew Mitchinson
Whatever your tipple, too much of it and you'll suffer the next day. Yet it's commonly thought that dark-coloured alcoholic drinks such as bourbon produce worse hangovers than colourless alternatives such as vodka. Damaris Rohsenow and colleagues now provide experimental evidence of this (teachers note: name of journal article removed) They also find that hangovers caused by these drinks impair performance in tasks requiring both sustained attention and speed, and that the impairment correlates with the severity of the hangover, but not the colour of the drink. The colours of alcoholic drinks are often due to congeners compounds other than alcohol (ethanol) that form during the fermenting process. Bourbon contains 37 times more congeners than vodka, for example. Although the main cause of hangover symptoms is ethanol, congeners are thought to make matters worse. Rohsenow et al. assessed this theory in a controlled study in which subjects drank vodka or bourbon until their blood alcohol concentration reached an intoxicating level. The intensity of the subjects' hangovers was quantified the next day using a symptom-based scale, and the subjects were given tests to measure their performance in tasks requiring speed and/or sustained concentration. Because alcohol affects the quality and duration of sleep, the authors also monitored these effects in their subjects. Sure enough, bourbon caused worse hangovers than vodka, and all of the subjects experienced lighter, more disturbed sleep after alcohol consumption than they did when given a placebo (decaffeinated cola). But the effects of bourbon on sleep and on next-day performance in tests were no worse than those of vodka. What's more, although the amount of alcohol-induced sleep disturbance correlated with hangover severity, it was not responsible for the effects on performance in the tests. Older subjects, or those dependent on alcohol, might have behaved differently from the young, healthy people who took part in the research. Nevertheless, as the authors point out, these findings have implications for people working in safety-sensitive jobs as well as providing insight into how you feel the morning after the night before.
Exercise 6. Write it shorter.
Rewrite this summary, eliminating verbiage. Give your word count. A prize will be given to the shortest summary that still contains all essential information. Be sure to give your name and your word count. Return as a Word attachment (no pdfs) by email to terese.bergfors@icm.uu.se. DISCLAIMER: This text is a writing exercise only. The proteins are fictitious and the text has been deliberately altered from its original form. Abstract In the field of bioinformatics, computer programs are available which are very highly accurate in identifying the family membership of proteins directly from their sequences, even in the case when there is very low similarity. The STINKO proteins are one example of a protein family that has been identified in such a manner as described above. STINKOs are well characterized both in vivo and in vitro; however, in more recent years, research has also been focused on the related CARPY family with the result that their similarity to STINKOs has been verified, and their function as major smell-carrying enzymes has been established beyond any doubt. In this review we will discuss biochemical aspects of STINKO function. We will also present current knowledge, also recently published, about the newly discovered and barely known CARPY proteins. 134 words
Scientific, Medical and General Proofreading and Editing

3 Pine Ridge Way Mill Valley, California 94941 Tel: (415) 383-5203 Fax: (415) 383-3038 kretchmer@sfedit.net www.sfedit.net
Effective Word Usage in Scientific Writing San Francisco Edit www.sfedit.net A sentence should contain no unnecessary words. In scientific manuscripts precise writing is especially important because of the emphasis on conveying quantitative information efficiently. In reporting and recording research, try to be as accurate and precise in describing as in conducting the research. Following is a list of words and expressions that are useless or incorrect in scientific writing, with suggested alternatives. This is not a complete list but contains some of the most troublesome words most frequently found in scientific manuscripts. Dont use based on the fact that for the purpose of fact prove plays an important role decreased number of time period longer time period brown in color round in shape a number of has been shown to be Better because for / to evidence support is important because fewer time longer brown round some is
Scientific, Medical and General Proofreading and Editing

3 Pine Ridge Way Mill Valley, California 94941 Tel: (415) 383-5203 Fax: (415) 383-3038 kretchmer@sfedit.net www.sfedit.net
by means of it is possible that in order to during the course of a majority of a great number of times in other words despite the fact that first of all it is interesting to note that it may seem reasonable to suppose that
by may to during most often thus / hence / therefore although first eliminate eliminate
To ensure accuracy and preciseness in your writing: Use an English spelling checker Make sure you use words according to the precise meaning understood by the average person. Ideally, check whether every word could be deleted or replaced by a better one. For more detailed information regarding writing a manuscript for publication, please review some of our other articles at http://www.sfedit.net/newsletters.htm. These articles approach such subjects as Writing the First Draft, Writing Effective Results, Methods and Materials, Discussions, Selecting a Journal, Responding to Reviewers, etc.
Exercise7.Passivevoice:rewriteintheactive voiceandeliminateunnecessarywords.
Source:AnoutlineofscientificwritingbyJ.T.Yang,WorldScientificPublishing Co.1995. Part1.Rewritethefollowingsentencestousetheactivevoiceand eliminateunnecessarywords. 1. Hemadeanexaminationofthepatient. 2. Hisperformanceofthetestswasadequate. 3. Theseagentsexerttheiractionbyinhibitionofsynthesisofcholesterolby theliver. 4. Wemadeatleasttwoanalysesoneachspecimen. 5. Ourpreliminaryreportincludedadescriptionofthetechniquesusedfor theinfusionoffluidsintothecerebralventriclesofrats. 6. Evaporationofethanolfromthemixturetakesplacerapidly. 7. Withtheoccurrenceofincreaseinthemetabolicrateduringexercise, thereisalsoanincreaseintherateofgasexchangeinthelungs. 8. Clarityinwritingismyintention. Part2.Rewritethistextintheactivevoice.Eliminateunnecessarywords. Inearlystudiesoflongitudinalsectionsofcardiacmusclebylightmicroscopy,a patternofstriationswasobserved.Thestriationswerenotedtobesimilarto thoseseeninskeletalmuscle,exceptthatatirregularintervals,thinZlineswere replacedbythickDdiscs. AccordingtoWitte,thethickDdiscscouldnotbedetectedinembryoniccardiac muscle;thediscswereconcludedtobeofimportance,althoughpreciselywhat roletheyplayedwasconjectural. Later,electronmicroscopicstudiesofthinsectionswereperformed.AteachD disc,therewereseentobetwomembranesandanarrowinterspace.Thecleft betweenthetwomembraneswasclearlyseentobepartoftheextracellular space.
Exercise8:Hedgewords
Source:SuccessfulScientificWritingbyMatthewsetal.CambridgeUniversityPress Reducethefollowingexamplestoasinglehedgewordapiece.Yourinterpretationof thesentencemayinfluencewhichhedgewordiskept. 1.Theseobservationsservetosuggesttheprobableexistenceofapossible femalesexpheromone. 2.Itseemsthatitmightpossiblybeverywisetofollowtheoutlinedprocedure. 3.Ourbeliefisthatthestudymayshowanapparentlinkbetweencigarette smokingandlungcancer. 4.Acauseandeffectrelationshipisnotunlikely. 5.Theresultsappeartoindicatethatthemixturemayhavebeenmoreorless saturatedwithoil. HereiswhatMatthewssaysaboutHEDGING: Tohedgeistoprotectonesargumentsorstatementswithqualificationsthat allowforunknowncontingenciesorwithdrawalfromcommitment.Italsomeans toallowforescapeorretreat.Whetherfromtimidity,aweatthecomplexityof naturalphenomena,oramisunderstandingofscientificobjectivity,scientists lovetohedge(Table5.2.)Infactdoubleandtriplehedgesarecommon.However, eachadditionalqualifierdrainsmoreforcefromthesentence.Sometimesthe resultisasentencethatsaysnothingatall. Example:Thecauseofthedegenerativechangesisunknownbutpossiblyone causemaybeinfectionbyapresumedparasite. OnewayofsayingImnotsureisusuallyenoughinasentence.Whenone hedgingwordisalreadyinasentence,pruneawayalltherest.
Andhereishistableofcommonhedgewords: nouns supposition idea speculation conjecture possibility inference adverbs presumably probably possibly apparently notunlikely seemingly verbs appear postulate suggest seem maybe speculate
List of connectors
Contact person: Rasmus K. Ursem (ursem@daimi.au.dk), Last update: 18th July 2002 Please contact me if you have additional words or new classes. Meaning Cause and effect Sentence connectors Therefore As a result Consequently As a consequence Hence Thus Conclusively In conclusion Inevitably Likewise Similarly In the same way However Nevertheless Yet Still On the contrary Unfortunately Originally Surprisingly Ideally Apparently On the other hand In contrast Conversely Instead In fact Indeed As a matter of fact That is Essentially Interestingly Fortunately Inevitably Primarily Most important Typically Usually Traditionally Normally Naturally Clearly In other words That is To sum up In summary Subordinates because since as thereby Phrase linkers because of as a result of due to leading to owing to Meaning Generalization Sentence connectors In general Generally Generally speaking In a broader context In a broader perspective In particular Particularly Specically Moreover Besides Additionally In addition Furthermore In this context In this connection In this respect In this perspective Here In that case Otherwise Now Given Subordinates Phrase linkers
Specialization
Additional information as like similar to despite despite of in spite of but
with
Comparison
in addition to besides
Contrast in expectation
although even though though despite the fact but
Continuation of explanation
with
Condition
Contrast in comparison
while whereas
unlike
Contrast in action Emphasis
instead of Without condition Example Regardless Despite For example For instance As shown by As exemplied by As illustrated by At least First, second, ... Then Next Now Continuing Further Finally Regarding For In connection with Focusing on With respect to
if provided that when while until as long as now that once that even though exemplied by illustrated by shown by be it
regardless of despite of like such as e.g.
Main reason Conrmation
Qualication Ordering in accordance with conrms
before after
before after
Reintroduction summing up i.e.
Clarication
Exercise9:Analyzethefollowingtextandfindas manyexamplesasyoucanofassertionwords, hedgewords,andconjuncts.Youcanpresentyourresultsina

tabularformorbycolorcodingthetext. AlternativeExercise:Forthoseofyouwhodontlikeribozymes,youmaychoosea fewparagraphsfromanyjournalofyourchoice.Analyzethetextinthesamewayfor assertionwords,hedgewords,andconjuncts.Hint:LookinDiscussionsections. Theseareoftenloadedwithsuchwords. Source:Webb,CH.etal.Sciencevol.326,13Nov2009,p.953 Disclaimer:theirtexthasbeeneditedhereanddeliberatelyalteredinplacesforthe purposeofthisexercise.ItisNOTnecessarilyfaithfultotheoriginalanditmayNOT becorrectscientifically.Thepointofthetextisthelanguageexerciseandnotto teachyouanythingaboutribozymes. In vitro self-scission was initially confirmed in six eukaryotes, one bacterium, and one insect virus. All eukaryotes harbor several HDV-like ribozymes, and some contain multiple sequence families. These sequences were used to search the GenBank Expressed Sequence Tags database where additional ribozymes, often in apparently self-cleaved form, were identified in plants, fungi, and a tapeworm. In Anopheles gambiae, representatives of two ribozyme families were tested in vitro. The drz-Agam-1 ribozymes were found by using a restrictive structure descriptor and closely resemble HDV and CPEB3 ribozymes. Although previous work demonstrated that a variable P4 helix does not affect catalytic activity, an expanded J1/2 region has not been observed. This feature appears to stabilize the overall structure, with a fast cleavage rate constant of 1.7 0.4 min1 at 37C. Reverse transcription quantitative polymerase chain reaction revealed and verified highly differential expression and self-cleavage of the ribozymes suggesting that both processes are regulated. Although in vivo analysis of other ribozymes has not been conducted, several findings indicate potential biological activity. In nematodes, the ribozymes are widely distributed, with drz-Cjap-1 composing up to 1/10,000 of the animals genome. Whereas these may reside between conserved downstream sequences. upstream sequences may likely play a part in retrotransposition. A similar role is hypothesized for Strongylocentrotus purpuratus and A. gambiae ribozymes, which appear within or near genes coding for reverse transcriptaselike proteins. Other ribozymes likely partake in RNA processing. Our results indicate that HDV-like ribozymes, and likely ribozymes in general, are widely distributed in nature and may play a variety of biological roles. Although alignment-based sequence searching can uncover conserved regions of these molecules, a structure-based approach has proven more effective at finding new functional RNAs.
WordChoice:Whatlessonshouldwelearnfromthiscartoon?
Source:Matthewsetal.SuccessfulScientificWriting,CambridgeUniversityPress,2000
Exercise10.WritingtheMaterialsand Methods(exerciseadaptedfromKarinCarlsson,ICM)
EXERCISE:Howwelldoesthisrecipeforbrowniesmeettherequirementsfora properMaterials&Methods?Rewriteitsothatevenanoviceinthekitchen couldmaketherecipe. Alternativeexercise:Ifyouhavearealexperimentthatyouwanttodescribe instead,writeashort(maximum1page,doublespaced)MaterialsandMethods forit. Brownies: Creamonecupbrownsugarandhalfacupofregularsugarwithbutter.Addtwo eggsandthen21/2cupallpurposeflourtogetherwithbakingpowderand vanilla.Mixandspreadinabreadedcakepan.Bakeat175C. GuidelinesfortheMaterialsandMethodssectionThepurposeofthe Materials&Methodssectionistodescribeyourmaterialsandmethodssothat anotherpersoncanrepeatthework,usingyourdescriptionasaguide.How muchdetailtogivewilldependontheintendedreadership. Typicalitemstoincludeare: concentrations volumes amounts times temperatures
recipesforsolutions sourceofkitsandfinechemicals(usuallygiveninparentheses) descriptionsofallprocedures,referencestowheretheyarepublishedorto manualsfromthemanufacturer IntheM&Msection,whatverbtense/aspectdoesDayrecommendtouse: pastorpresenttense? activeorpassivevoice?
The Referee Process

Reading: Read the following three articles for the last class, The Editorial Process
Article 1 Why I Wrote This Book and Why You Should Read It excerpted from the book: Publish & Flourish by Tara Gray, 2005, New Mexico State University Teaching Academy
As a writer, Ive had some hard knocks myself. I wrote my dissertation and published my rst paper without incident. As I worked on my second journal article, I kept careful records of the time spent. I discovered I worked more than one hundred hours per page. This was on the writing only, after the data were collected and the numbers were crunched. I sent the paper to ten of the best-known experts in the area and ve responded. They seemed to like it. I made the changes they suggested. I thought the paper was nally ready to go. I sent it out for review, and this is what came back, in red ink, half an inch high: This paper is:
very poorly done. a very badly prepared piece of work. plagued by myriad problems. so badly written that few persons will have the patience to try to make sense of it. I knew just what to do. I cried. But when I was done crying, I marched myself up to my oce to revise the paper. I ignored the insults and forced myself to respond to each specic comment. Responding to the comments took four and one-half hours, which was less than one-half of one percent of the time spent on the entire paper. Then I red the paper o to an equally good journal, where it was accepted without revision. I knew there must be a moral to the story; I decided there were two. One moral was clear: Even if the reviewer dislikes your work, ignore the overall assessment, but respond to each specic comment. Remember the old adage, Dont throw the baby out with the bath water. I learned something else. My paper was poorly organized and the editors comments read like a paint-by-number kit: Move this here; move that there. The editor saw bad organization that the experts hadnt seen. It was transparent to them. They werent reading to understandthey already understood. The second moral became clear: Ask non-experts to read drafts of your work. Non-experts, who do not have a terminal degree in your eld, will see problems of organization and clarity more easily and there is nothing they are afraid to ask. In contrast, experts in your discipline will withhold questions for fear of seeming ignorant themselves.
As you can see, I learned about writing at the same school that you probably did: the School of Hard Knocks. But its not the only school, or even the best. Much is known about how to become more prolicand any scholar can. Even when you cant work harder, there are important ways to work smarter. My experience as a writer convinced me that writing shouldnt hurt this badly. There are more systematic approaches to write better and faster. These approaches have the advantage that you are less invested in your work when you begin to get criticismand the criticism is less likely to be harsh when you receive it because your writing is better. Therefore, I decided there should be a program to help scholars ourish. Naturally, its a twelve-step program because writing is dicult and writing well is a lifetime project. Writing can feel like one step forward and two steps backlike walking up the down escalator. The steps do not make writing easy but they break writing down into little tasks that any writer can do. Much research shows that the steps work if you work the steps. Robert Boice did the basic research on the most important steps. He is the guru of scholarly writing and the author of many books and countless articles on the subject (see for example Boice 1989, 1990, 1994, 1997, 2000). He spent much of his career proving the importance of ideas that would become the two most central steps of the program: writing daily as well as keeping records of your minutes spent writing and holding yourself accountable to someone for doing so. He showed these steps are important regardless of discipline, teaching load, or type of institution (Boice 1989, 1997). In one study he performed, a group of scholars wrote the way they had always writtenoccasionally, in big blocks of time. The group wrote or revised a mean of 17 pages per year. Another group wrote daily, kept records of their time spent writing, and held
themselves accountable to others for writing daily. This group wrote or revised a mean of 157 pages per year (Boice 1989:609). Every scholar can become more prolic, and these steps can show you how: Managing Time 1 Become a manager of your time, not a victim of it. 2 Write 1530 minutes daily. 3 Record your time spent writing dailyshare your records weekly. 4 Writing 1 Write from the rst day of your research project. 2 Post your thesis on the wall and write to it. Revising 1 Organize around key sentences. 2 Use key sentences as an after-the-fact outline. Getting Help 1 Share early drafts with non-experts and later drafts with experts 2 Learn how to listen. 3 Respond to each specic comment. Polishing and Letting Go 1 Read your prose out loud. 2 Kick it out the door and make em say No. Deciding to work the steps is dicult for academics because we are trained skeptics. We are trained to think critically and to question everythingfrom the size of the sample to the quality of the evidence. Naturally, you question whether the twelve steps are the one best way to write. Although one size doesnt t all, the steps give you a writing system to try on for size. When you try on each step, you broaden your range of skills as a writer. In this
way, even steps you dont adopt permanently make you a better writer for having tried them. Suspend disbelief and act as if the steps will work for you. Go through the motions until they do. Fake it til you make it. I am occasionally confronted by someone who says that the steps dont work. When this happens, I always ask the same question, For how long did you try the steps, especially the most important one about writing daily? The answer is never measured in months or weeks or even days. The answer is always, I wasnt able to write daily. My response is always the same, too, Then how do you know the steps dont work? My challenge to you is this: Work the steps and discover how they work in your life. My other challenge is that every time you fall o the writing wagon, keep coming back (and back and back!) to the steps that can make writers great.
Article 2: The Referee Process

Sci. Signal., 25 August 2009 Vol. 2, Issue 85, p. tr2 [DOI: 10.1126/scisignal.285tr2] TEACHING RESOURCES Training for Peer Review Nancy R. Gough* Editor of Science Signaling, American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS), 1200 New York Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20005, USA. Abstract: Learning the peer-review process by trial and error may not be the most effective way to train the next generation of scientists in how to be effective reviewers. Here are some suggestions from an editor's perspective. Peer review is a critical aspect of a career in academic science, but lessons in how to serve as an effective reviewer of primary research papers, grant applications, and promotion packages are not part of a scientist's formal training. Focusing on peer review of primary research papers, the reviewer has four main responsibilities: verifying the technical accuracy of the experiments, confirming that the conclusions are supported by the data, determining whether the results are new, and, last, providing a judgment regarding the suitability of a paper for a particular journal. For research that is technically sound, the primary responsibility of the reviewer is to ensure that it is made available to the scientific community as expeditiously as possible. Most scientists learn the reviewing process by trial and error, typically starting by reviewing manuscripts as a graduate student or postdoctoral fellow in conjunction with their thesis adviser or postdoc mentor. Reviews by novice referees are frequently full of nit-picky details about the text and word choice with little critical analysis of the scientific content, or they are extremely critical with an indignant tone that can border on hostility. Novice referees should remember that the goal of the peer-review process is either to help improve a manuscript so that it can become published or the conclusions can be validated or to weed out unsuitable manuscripts that are not technically sound. The goal is not to prevent publication of research for reasons that can be technically addressed through experimentation or revision of the text. Reviewers should recommend reasonable experiments that would help the authors bolster their conclusions or validate the results, not just say the data are not good enough. Perhaps graduate students and postdocs should receive formal training in peerreviewing manuscripts. Although graduate students must learn to critically evaluate published literature, few receive formal training in peer reviewing. Training should include guidance on proper tone as well as the appropriate content of an evaluation. In this regard, journal editors may be in a position to aid in educating the teachers regarding what constitutes an exemplary review and what to avoid. Although different
journals have different criteria for accepting manuscripts, a brief analysis of the referee guidelines from several publishers, including AAAS, Cell Press, Society for Developmental Biology, and Nature Publishing Group, shows that the evaluations of technical rigor and novelty are among the critical common elements requested of the peer reviewer. As stated in the Science Signaling information for referees of primary research papers, reviewers should
Evaluate whether, or to what extent, the data and methods substantiate the conclusions and interpretations. If appropriate, indicate what additional data and information are needed to validate the conclusions or support the interpretations. Indicate if the conclusions are novel or are very similar to work already published.
What makes a good reviewer? A reviewer should provide a prompt response that is thoughtful, fair, and balanced. If the data are novel and accurate, the reviewer should point out ways in which the work can be improved. There are times when a manuscript is not suitable for publication. In this case, the reviewer should concisely state the major flaws and enable the author to understand why the referee recommends against publication. The review should also be considered from the perspective of the recipient. Reviewers should read their comments and consider what their reaction would be if they received the comments. Is it clear that the reviewer understood the main points, and are these points summarized clearly? Are the deficiencies clearly stated in a constructive manner without attacking the authors personally and without hostility? Are the most critical concerns identified defined as such and minor concerns noted as such? Many journals offer the reviewer both a place to provide comments to the editors and one for comments to the authors. These, of course, should be consistent with each other. The comments to the authors should not be overwhelmingly positive, yet the comments to the editors recommend rejection. The comments to the editors should clearly indicate the reviewers recommendation for the manuscript: accept with or without revision, re-review following revision, or reject. If a reviewer cannot be objective, if the paper is so poorly written that it is difficult or impossible to evaluate, or if a reviewer becomes so overwhelmed with other responsibilities that sufficient time cannot be devoted to do a good job, then the reviewer should notify the editor of the need to withdraw as a referee. If there are aspects of the manuscript that are beyond the reviewers area of expertise, those should be noted for the editor. This information ensures that the editor obtains input from scientists in all areas necessary to ensure the technical rigor and novelty of the manuscript. In addition to the two major criteria of technical rigor and novelty, reviewers are encouraged to comment on whether the presentation of the data in the figures and tables could be improved, and how, and whether information should be presented in the main body of the manuscript or can be presented as Supporting Online Material. If appropriate, reviewers should assess the validity of the statistical methods applied and indicate whether these are inappropriate for the analysis. With formal training, the next generation of scientists will be better prepared not only to judge their peers but also to communicate their scientific discoveries effectively.
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EXTRA ASSIGNMENTS for 2013 (in the event of a missed lecture)

To receive your credits for the WSE course, you must: 1. attend all 7 obligatory classes 2. turn in all writing assignments. Writing assignments should be turned in by their respective deadlines. However, in the event of illness or other really good excuse, I will accept late assignments, but only until Monday, 8 APRIL 2013 at 5 p.m. If you need to make up for one missed class, you can choose to do one of the following four assignments. 1. Write an abstract for the "doodling" article. (Attached). 2. Write a 300-500 word book review about any science book of your choice. It can be popular science or a textbook. Look up what the requirements are for a good book review and follow them. 3. Read the attached article from Science (2008) about disorder. As you may have noticed, Uppsala is full of graffiti. Pretend that the Uppsala city government has decided to get tough on this problem and they ask people for suggestions on how to combat it. More police patrols? Harsher fines? Banning of spray paint? Write a 300-500 word letter to the city government explaining the results of the Science article. Advise them what would be an effective measure to combat graffiti, on the basis of this scientific research.
You can turn in the extra assignment in any time, but at the latest 8 APRIL 2013.
APPLIED COGNITIVE PSYCHOLOGY

Appl. Cognit. Psychol. 24: 100106 (2010) Published online 27 February 2009 in Wiley InterScience (www.interscience.wiley.com) DOI: 10.1002/acp.1561
What Does Doodling do?

JACKIE ANDRADE*
School of Psychology, University of Plymouth, UK
The call centre has put you on hold yet again and you start thinking about how good it would be to have a holiday, where you would like to visit . . . then you realize that the person you have been waiting to speak to has already started talking and you have not taken in anything they have said. This scenario illustrates the tendency for daydreaming to start in moments of boredom and, once started, to distract attention from the task in hand. In such a situation some people resort to doodling, aimlessly sketching patterns and gures unrelated to the primary task. It is not known whether doodling impairs performance by detracting resources from the primary task, as would be the case for the most concurrent cognitive tasks or whether it improves performance by aiding concentration (Do & Schallert, 2004) or maintaining arousal (Wilson & Korn, 2007). This question ties into more general issues in cognitive and applied psychology. Boredom is a very common experience (Harris, 2000) and daydreaming is a common response, even in the laboratory (Smallwood & Schooler, 2006). A way of aiding concentration would have implications for psychological research methods as well as practical applications. Dual task designs are commonly used to pinpoint specic cognitive resources needed to perform a task, but they fail to do this accurately if the effects of boredom are overlooked. Performance decrements through competition for task-specic resources may be moderated if the secondary task also reduces the mind-wandering or elevated arousal levels that can be a hidden feature of single task control conditions (Smallwood, OConnor, Sudbery, & Obonsawin, 2007). This study is the rst experimental test known to the author of the prediction that doodling aids concentration. Participants listened to a monotonous mock telephone message. An auditory task was chosen so that doodling would compete minimally for
*Correspondence to: Jackie Andrade, School of Psychology, University of Plymouth, Drake Circus, Plymouth, PL4 8AA, Devon, UK. E-mail: j.andrade@plymouth.ac.uk
Copyright # 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.
What does doodling do?
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modality-specic resources. Participants monitored the message for specic, infrequent information and afterwards attempted a surprise recall test for that information and for incidental information. Performance was measured in terms of monitoring accuracy and memory, which was assumed to reect the depth of processing of the monitored material. Rather than being asked to doodle freely, participants were asked to shade in printed shapes on the response sheet, without worrying about the speed and the neatness of their shading. The hope was that the simplicity of this shading task would encourage a degree of absentmindedness in participants drawing, akin to that seen in doodling in naturalistic conditions. Participants were not asked to doodle freely in case they felt self-conscious about their drawings or suspected that the content of their doodles was the real focus of the study. In this case their doodling would not have the spontaneous, automatic quality of naturalistic doodling.
METHOD Participants and design Participants were 40 members of the MRC Applied Psychology Unit (now the Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit) participant panel, recruited from the general population and aged between 18 and 55 years. They were paid a small honorarium for taking part. Participants were randomly assigned to the control (N 20; 2 male) or doodling group (N 20; 3 male). All participants monitored a telephone message and then attempted to recall monitored and incidental information. Recall order was counterbalanced across participants. Materials A mock telephone message was recorded onto audio cassette tape in a fairly monotone voice at an average speaking rate of 227 words per minute, and played at a comfortable listening volume. The script included eight names of people attending a party, and names of three people and one cat who could not attend (see the Appendix). Eight place names were mentioned, along with much irrelevant material. Participants in the doodling condition used a pencil to shade shapes of approximately 1 cm diameter printed on a piece of A4 paper, with 10 shapes per row and alternating rows of squares and circles. A 4.5 cm wide margin on the left-hand side allowed space for writing the target information. Control participants wrote the target information on a lined piece of paper. Procedure Participants were recruited just after nishing an unrelated experiment (on ways of giving directions to different locations) for another researcher, and asked if they would mind spending another 5 minutes helping with research. The intention was to enhance the boredom of the task by testing people who were already thinking about going home. Participants were tested individually in a quiet and visually dull room. They were told: I am going to play you a tape. I want you to pretend that the speaker is a friend who has telephoned you to invite you to a party. The tape is rather dull but thats okay because I dont want you to remember any of it. Just write down the names of people who will
Copyright # 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Appl. Cognit. Psychol. 24: 100106 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/acp
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J. Andrade
denitely or probably be coming to the party (excluding yourself). Ignore the names of those who cant come. Do not write anything else. Participants in the doodling condition were also asked to shade in the squares and circles while listening to the tape. They were told It doesnt matter how neatly or how quickly you do thisit is just something to help relieve the boredom. Participants listened to the tape, which lasted 2.5 minutes, and wrote down the names as instructed. When the tape nished, the experimenter collected the response sheets, and engaged participants in conversation for 1 minute including an apology for misleading them about the memory test. Half the participants were then asked to recall the names of party-goers and, when they had done that, of the places mentioned. The other half recalled the places rst, followed by the names. During debrieng, participants were asked if they had suspected a memory test.
RESULTS Participants in the doodling group shaded a mean of 36.3 of the printed shapes on their response sheet (range 3110). One participant did not doodle and was replaced. Participants in the control condition did not doodle. Three doodlers and four controls suspected a memory test. None said they actively tried to remember information. Control participants correctly wrote down a mean of 7.1 (SD 1.1) of the eight names of party-goers during the tape; ve people made a false alarm. Doodling participants correctly wrote a mean of 7.8 (SD 0.4) names of party-goers; one person made one false alarm. Plausible mis-hearings, such as Greg for Craig, were scored as correct. Other new names were scored as false alarms, including names mentioned on the tape as lures. Responses such as sister were ignored. For analysis, monitoring performance was scored as the number of correct names minus false alarms. Non-parametric analysis was used because scores were not normally distributed: fteen doodlers and nine controls scored the maximum of eight. Monitoring performance in the doodling condition (mean 7.7, SD 0.6) was signicantly higher than in the control condition (mean 6.9, SD 1.3), MannWhitney U 124, p 0.01 one-tailed. Recall performance was scored separately for names and places, using the denitions of correct responses and false alarms above, with the addition that plausible mis-hearings had to be the same in the monitoring and recall phases (see Table 1). Overall, participants in the doodling condition recalled a mean of 7.5 pieces of information (names and places), 29%
Table 1. Mean correct recall, false alarms and memory scores (correct minus false alarms) for names and places for the control and doodling groups (standard deviation) Group Control Names (monitored information) Places (incidental information) Correct False alarms Memory score Correct False alarms Memory score 4.3 0.4 4.0 2.1 0.3 1.8 (1.3) (0.5) (1.5) (0.9) (0.6) (1.2) Doodling 5.3 0.3 5.1 2.6 0.3 2.4 (1.4) (0.4) (1.7) (1.4) (0.4) (1.5)
Appl. Cognit. Psychol. 24: 100106 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/acp
103
more than the mean of 5.8 recalled by the control group. Memory scores were entered into a 2 (doodling, control) 2 (names, places) mixed measures ANOVA which conrmed that the monitored names were recalled better than the incidental places, F(1,38) 54.9, p < 0.001. Recall was better for doodlers than controls, F(1,38) 6.0, p 0.02, for both monitored and for incidental information (interaction F < 1). Removing data from participants who had suspected a test did not alter the pattern of results (main effect of group: F(1, 31) 6.9, p 0.01). Entering monitoring performance as a covariate made the group effect marginally signicant, F(1,37) 3.8, p 0.058.
DISCUSSION Participants who performed a shape-shading task, intended as an analogue of naturalistic doodling, concentrated better on a mock telephone message than participants who listened to the message with no concurrent task. This benet was seen for monitoring performance and in scores on a surprise memory test. When monitoring performance was used as a covariate, the group effect became marginally signicant, so it is not clear whether doodling led to better recall simply because doodlers noticed more of the target names or whether it aided memory directly by encouraging deeper processing of the material on the tape. Two methodological features may have contributed to the benecial effect of doodling by making the primary task seem particularly boring. Participants were recruited and tested immediately after they had nished a colleagues experiment. The intention was to test people when they were more prone to boredom than if they had just arrived at the laboratory, although we have no evidence that this was the case. Everyone was told that the tape would be dull, to discourage them from searching for something interesting in the material. The doodling task was described as just something to relieve the boredom, to encourage participants to do it in a fairly naturalistic, automatic fashion. The instructions contained no suggestion that it would improve cognitive performance. It remains to be discovered whether the benets of the shading task extend to naturalistic doodling. What mechanism might underlie the effect of doodling on concentration? One possibility is that doodling simply helps to stabilize arousal at an optimal level, keeping people awake or reducing the high levels of autonomic arousal often associated with boredom (London, Schubert, & Washburn, 1972). Future research using psychophysiological measures might pick up such effects. A more specic hypothesis is that doodling aids concentration by reducing daydreaming, in situations where daydreaming might be more detrimental to performance than doodling itself. Daydreaming is linked with the generally high arousal levels seen during boredom, through increased activity in default cortical networks (Mason, Norton, Van Horn, Wegner, Grafton, & Macrae, 2007; Smallwood et al., 2007b). It occupies central executive resources (Smallwood & Schooler, 2006; Teasdale, Proctor, Lloyd, & Baddeley, 1993) and is detrimental to performance on tasks that compete for those resources (Seibert & Ellis, 1991; Smallwood, Baracaia, Lowe, & Obonsawin, 2003; Smallwood, Fishman, & Schooler, 2007). The message-monitoring task would have encouraged daydreaming because the resource demand of the basic task was low and the task did not explicitly require retention of stimuli (see Smallwood et al., 2007a). Because participants were not told about the forthcoming memory test, they had little incentive to catch themselves daydreaming and return their attention to the task. However, performance on the memory test would have
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J. Andrade
beneted from deeper processing of the stimuli and greater time-on-task, i.e. less daydreaming. Doodling may have facilitated this deeper processing by reducing daydreaming, without competing for the verbal processing resources needed for listening to the telephone message. Doodling may have reduced daydreaming simply by adding a resource load to a rather undemanding task (Smallwood et al., 2007a), in which case increasing the demands of the primary task (requiring speeded responses, for instance) would have had a similar effect. Alternatively, doodling may have reduced daydreaming by selectively loading central executive resources. Although doodling is itself relatively undemanding of executive resources, being self-paced, repetitive and involving little controlled processing such as performance monitoring or inhibition of irrelevant information, the combination of doodling with the auditory message-monitoring task should have engaged executive resources needed to coordinate verbal and visuo-spatial short-term memory (Baddeley, 1996). It is hypothesized that this continual but small central executive load detracted minimally from the primary auditory task yet was sufcient to prevent the greater impairment to performance that would have occurred if central executive resources were free for daydreaming. A limitation of the present study is that it lacks any measure of daydreaming. A replication that included thought probes (e.g. Teasdale et al., 1993) during the telephone message, or retrospective self-report of daydreaming, would test whether the effect of doodling on memory occurred via effects on daydreaming. Future neuroimaging studies could test the hypothesis that doodling selectively reduces cortical activation associated with daydreaming. The present nding that doodling aids concentration, and explaining the potential mechanism for this, has important implications. The extent to which secondary tasks have benecial effects or fail to have predicted detrimental effects is a le drawer problem, though a recent paper by Roche et al. (2007) reports unexpected benets of secondary tasks on visuomotor learning that were not due to increased arousal. Understanding the role of boredom and daydreaming, and tasks that alleviate them, would allow a more complete cognitive analysis of task performance in the laboratory and in real-life work and educational settings (Smallwood & Schooler, 2006; Smallwood et al., 2007a). Ways of maintaining attention to task are also important in the context of depressive ruminations and worry, where mind wandering helps maintain dysphoric states (Smallwood et al., 2007b).
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS The author thanks Tim Perfect, Michael Verde, Jon May, Samantha Webber, Hayley Penton and Jonathan Smallwood for their comments.
REFERENCES
Antrobus, J. S. (1968). Information theory and stimulus-independent thought. British Journal of Psychology, 59, 423430. Baddeley, A. D. (1996). Exploring the central executive. Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, 49A, 528. Do, S. L., & Schallert, D. L. (2004). Emotions and classroom talk: Toward a model of the role of affect in students experiences of classroom discussions. Journal of Educational Psychology, 96, 619634.
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Harris, M. B. (2000). Correlates and characteristics of boredom proneness and boredom. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 30, 576598. London, H., Schubert, D. S. P., & Washburn, D. (1972). Increase of autonomic arousal by boredom. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 80, 2936. Mason, M. F., Norton, M. I., Van Horn, J. D., Wegner, D. M., Grafton, S. T., & Macrae, C. N. (2007). Wandering minds: The default network and stimulus-independent thought. Science, 315, 393395. Roche, R. A. P., Commins, S., & Agnew, F., et al. (2007). Concurrent task performance enhances lowlevel visuomotor learning. Perception & Psychophysics, 69, 513522. Seibert, P. S., & Ellis, H. C. (1991). Irrelevant thoughts, emotional mood states and cognitive performance. Memory and Cognition, 5, 507513. Smallwood, J. S., & Schooler, J. W. (2006). The restless mind. Psychological Bulletin, 132, 946958. Smallwood, J., Baracaia, S. F., Lowe, M., & Obonsawin, M. C. (2003). Task unrelated thought whilst encoding information. Consciousness and Cognition, 12, 452484. Smallwood, J., Fishman, D. J., & Schooler, J. W. (2007). Counting the cost of an absent mind: Mind wandering as an underrecognized inuence on educational performance. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 14, 230236. Smallwood, J., OConnor, R. C., Sudbery, M. V., & Obonsawin, M. (2007). Mind-wandering and dysphoria. Cognition and Emotion, 21, 816842. Teasdale, J. D., Proctor, L., Lloyd, C. A., & Baddeley, A. D. (1993). Working memory and stimulusindependent thought: Effects of memory load and presentation rate. European Journal of Cognitive Psychology, 5, 417433. Wilson, K., & Korn, J. H. (2007). Attention during lectures: Beyond ten minutes. Teaching of Psychology, 34, 8589.
APPENDIX The boring telephone message: monitored names are shown in bold, incidental places in italics. Hi! Are you doing anything on Saturday? Im having a birthday party and was hoping you could come. Its not actually my birthday, its my sister Janes. Shell be 21. Shes coming up from London for the weekend and I thought it would be a nice surprise for her. Ive also invited her boyfriend William and one of her old schoolfriends, Claire, but she doesnt know that yet. Claires husband Nigel was going to join us but he has just found out that he has to go to a meeting in Penzance that day and wont be back in time. I thought we could have a barbecue if the weather is nice, although the way it has been so far this week, that doesnt look likely. I cant believe it has got so cold already. And the evenings are really drawing in arent they? Anyway, there is plenty of space indoors if it rains. Did I tell you that I have redecorated the kitchen? It is mainly yellowthe wallpaper is yellow and so is the woodwork, although I thought it would be better to leave the ceiling white to make it look lighter. Ive still got the old blue ttingsthey are pretty battered now but I cant afford to replace them at the moment. Do you remember Craig? I used to share a at with him when we were both working for that bank in Gloucester. He has bought a house in Colchester now but he promises to take time off from gardening to come to Janes party. Suzie is going to be there too. Shes the person I met at the pottery class in Harlow last year. Apparently she has got really good at it and may even be having an exhibition of her work soon. Will you be able to bring some food? Maybe crisps or peanuts, something along those lines. Jenny from next door is going to bring a quiche and Ill do some garlic bread. I found a good recipe for punchyou warm up some red wine with gin and orange juice plus cloves and cardomom and cinnamon. Add some brown sugar if its not sweet enough. The boys
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from the house down the road have promised to bring some of their homebrew. There are three of them sharing that house nowJohn, Tony and Phil. I think they were all at college together. Phil teaches at a primary school in Ely now and the other two commute to Peterborough each day. I think they both work in the hospital thereI know Tony was training to be a nurse at one point so maybe he is qualied now. John cant come on Saturday because his parents are coming to stay for the weekend but Phil and Tony should be there. Tony has to pick their cat Ben up from the vet so he may be a bit late. By the way, did I tell you about our holiday in Edinburgh? It was a complete disaster. We were camping and it rained constantly. We spent most of the time in museums, trying to keep dry and then, to make matters worse, Nicky got her handbag stolen. I was quite glad to get back to work after that. Anyway, hope you can make it on Saturdaylet me know if you want to stay over. Bye!
Appl. Cognit. Psychol. 24: 100106 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/acp
The Spreading of Disorder Kees Keizer, et al. Science 322, 1681 (2008); DOI: 10.1126/science.1161405
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changes in the statistics of PDF orientations, a maximum shock attenuation of 5 GPa seems to be the more realistic value. The percentage of shocked quartz grains and the number of PDF sets per grain are more sensitive indicators of minor changes in shock pressure than pure PDF orientation statistics. The combination of detailed petrographic investigation and numerical modeling indicates that both of these approaches are essential to reconstruct the preimpact position of rocks and to characterize properly the shock pressure distribution at the scale of an impact structure. Our observations suggest that, in the case of the 10.5-km-diameter Bosumtwi impact structure, the uppermost rocks of the central uplift experienced shock pressures below 30 GPa, whereas pressures up to 40 to 45 GPa were recorded for the about-four-timeslarger Puchezh-Katunki impact structure (15). Shock attenuation in the uppermost part of a central uplift has been, for the first time, constrained by detailed shock degree profiling at the microscale. Numerical modeling of this section of the central uplift has then established where this section of the central uplift was located before uplift formation, which was only possible once the shock regime had been established by micropetrography. The results imply that, for moderately sized impact craters, the rise of the central uplift is dominated by brittle failure, whereas in the case of larger impact structures, and also depending on rock proprieties, the uplifted, relatively stronger shocked rocks may behave in a more ductile manner.
References and Notes
1. D. Stffler, Fortschr. Mineral. 49, 50 (1972). 2. D. Stffler, F. Langenhorst, Meteorit. Planet. Sci. 29, 155 (1994). 3. R. A. F. Grieve, F. Langenhorst, D. Stffler, Meteorit. Planet. Sci. 31, 6 (1996). 4. R. A. F. Grieve, Annu. Rev. Earth Planet. Sci. 15, 245 (1987). 5. H. J. Melosh, Impact Cratering: A Geological Process (Oxford Univ. Press, New York, 1989). 6. J. T. Cherry, F. L. Petersen, in Peaceful Nuclear Explosions (International Atomic Energy Agency, Vienna, 1970), pp. 241325. 7. T. J. Ahrens, J. D. OKeefe, in Impact and Explosion Cratering, D. J. Roddy, R. O. Pepin, R. B. Merrill, Eds. (Pergamon, New York, 1977), pp. 639656. 8. N. K. Mitani, J. Geophys. Res. 108, 5003 (2003). 9. P. B. Robertson, R. A. F. Grieve, in Impact and Explosion Cratering, D. J. Roddy, R. O. Pepin, R. B. Merrill, Eds. (Pergamon, New York, 1977), pp. 687702. 10. R. A. F. Grieve, P. B. Robertson, Contrib. Mineral. Petrol. 58, 37 (1976). 11. L. V. Sazonova, N. N. Karotaeve, G. Y. Ponomarev, A. I. Dabizha, in Impactites, A. A. Marakushev, Ed. (Moscow State Univ., Moscow, 1981), pp. 93133. 12. R. A. F. Grieve, J. M. Coderre, P. B. Robertson, J. Alexopoulos, Tectonophysics 171, 185 (1990). 13. V. I. Feldman, L. V. Sazonova, S. I. Kotelnikov, Dokl. Akad. Nauk SSSR 349, 658 (1996). 14. B. O. Dressler, V. L. Sharpton, B. C. Schuraytz, Contrib. Mineral. Petrol. 130, 275 (1998). 15. V. L. Masaitis, L. A. Pevzner, Deep Drilling in the Impact Structure: Puchezh-Katunki, Russia (VSEGEI, St. Petersburg, 1999). 16. R. L. Gibson, W. U. Reimold, Geol. Soc. Am. Spec. Pap. 384, 329 (1996). 17. C. Koeberl, W. U. Reimold, Yearb. Austrian Geol. Surv. 145, 31 (2005). 18. C. Koeberl et al., Meteorit. Planet. Sci. 42, 483 (2007). 19. L. Ferrire, C. Koeberl, W. U. Reimold, Meteorit. Planet. Sci. 42, 611 (2007). 20. L. Coney, R. L. Gibson, W. U. Reimold, C. Koeberl, Meteorit. Planet. Sci. 42, 569 (2007). 21. C. A. Scholz et al., Geology 30, 939 (2002). 22. Materials and methods are available as supporting material on Science Online. 23. F. Hrz, in Shock Metamorphism of Natural Materials, B. M. French, N. M. Short, Eds. (Mono, Baltimore, 1968), pp. 243253. 24. A. R. Huffman, W. U. Reimold, Tectonophysics 256, 165 (1996). 25. B. M. French, Traces of Catastrophe: A Handbook of Shock-Metamorphic Effects in Terrestrial Meteorite Impact Structures [LPI Contribution No. 954, Lunar and Planetary Institute (LPI), Houston, TX, 1998]. 26. B. Ivanov, Sol. Syst. Res. 39, 381 (2005). 27. M. J. Cintala, R. A. F. Grieve, Meteorit. Planet. Sci. 33, 889 (1998). 28. E. Pierazzo, A. M. Vickery, H. J. Melosh, Icarus 127, 408 (1997). 29. Drilling was funded by ICDP, NSF, the Austrian Fonds zur Frderung der wissenschaftlichen Forschung (FWF), the Canadian Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council, and the Austrian Academy of Sciences. We thank DOSECC (Drilling, Observation and Sampling of the Earths Continental Crust) for the drilling operations. This work was supported by the Austrian FWF (grants P17194N10 and P18862-N10) and the Austrian Academy of Sciences. B.A.I. was supported by the Russian Foundation for Basic Science (RFBR grant 08-05-00908-), and W.U.R.s research is supported by the German Science Foundation (Deutsche Forschungsgemeinschaft) and Humboldt University of Berlin.
Supporting Online Material

www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/322/5908/1678/DC1 Materials and Methods SOM Text Figs. S1 to S4 Tables S1 to S4 References 23 September 2008; accepted 10 November 2008 10.1126/science.1166283
The Spreading of Disorder

Kees Keizer,* Siegwart Lindenberg, Linda Steg Imagine that the neighborhood you are living in is covered with graffiti, litter, and unreturned shopping carts. Would this reality cause you to litter more, trespass, or even steal? A thesis known as the broken windows theory suggests that signs of disorderly and petty criminal behavior trigger more disorderly and petty criminal behavior, thus causing the behavior to spread. This may cause neighborhoods to decay and the quality of life of its inhabitants to deteriorate. For a city government, this may be a vital policy issue. But does disorder really spread in neighborhoods? So far there has not been strong empirical support, and it is not clear what constitutes disorder and what may make it spread. We generated hypotheses about the spread of disorder and tested them in six field experiments. We found that, when people observe that others violated a certain social norm or legitimate rule, they are more likely to violate other norms or rules, which causes disorder to spread.
n the mid-1990s, the mayor of New York and his police commissioner adopted a Quality of life campaign. Attention was focused on fighting signs of disorder and petty crime. Graffiti was removed, streets were swept, and signs of vandalism were cleared. This initiative was based on the broken windows theory (BWT) of Wilson and Kelling (1). The BWT suggests that signs of
Faculty of Behavioral and Social Sciences, University of Groningen, 9712 TS Groningen, Netherlands. *To whom correspondence should be addressed. E-mail: K.E.Keizer@rug.nl
disorder like broken windows, litter, and graffiti induce other (types of) disorder and petty crime (2). It was thought that removing these signs of disorder would take away an important trigger of disorderly and petty criminal behavior. After the introduction of the campaign, petty crime rates in New York dropped. Since then, approaches based on the BWT have become popular and have been adopted worldwide (e.g., in various cities in the United States, Great Britain, Netherlands, Indonesia, and South Africa). BWT may be very popular, but it is also highly controversial. So far, it lacks empirical SCIENCE VOL 322
support, and it fails to specify what constitutes disorder. Studies aimed to test the BWT (36) have provided mixed results at best. The National Research Council (NRC) concluded that the research did not provide strong support for the BWT (7). There is also little evidence that broken window policing contributed to the sharp decrease in petty crime in New York (810). Moreover, to our knowledge, research on the BWT has so far been correlational, so conclusions about causality are shaky (6, 8). The BWT suggests that a setting with disorder triggers disorderly and petty criminal behavior, but it might be the other way around or both may be caused by a third variable. Furthermore, the BWT gives no insight into what is and what is not a condition of disorder that will spread. Because the BWT forms the backbone of many cities defense against the growing threat of disorder and petty crime, these shortcomings need to be addressed. In the present study, we conducted six field experiments that address these issues. Our first step was to conceptualize a disorderly setting in such a way that we can link it to a process of spreading norm violations. Social norms refer either to the perception of common (dis)approval of a particular kind of behavior (injunctive norm) or to a particular behavior common in a setting (descriptive norm) (1116). Injunctive norms affect behavior because they provide information about which behavior is most appropriate in a
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given situation [e.g., (1719)]. For example, the antilitter norm is a widely held injunctive norm [e.g., (20, 21)]. The extent to which an injunctive norm affects behavior depends on how much the norm is on peoples mind (22, 23). For example, an antilitter norm will be more on peoples minds when they see someone picking up a piece of litter (which shows disapprovement of littering) (12) or simply see a norm stated on a sign (24, 25). Descriptive norms affect behavior because they provide information about which behavior is most common in a given situation. For example, a littered setting shows that it is common to litter and will therefore enhance littering (11, 26, 27). Similar to injunctive norms, the more conspicuous the descriptive norm, the more strongly it influences behavior. For example, the probability that a participant litters in a littered setting is enhanced when a lot of litter is present or when the participant watches someone littering (11). Injunctive and descriptive norms can be in conflict, as for example in a setting where it is common to litter even though littering is commonly disapproved of. Thus, settings described in BWT as disorderly (e.g., a littered setting) can be conceptualized as settings in which descriptive and injunctive norms are in conflict. The next question then is how behavior is influenced by such a setting. Injunctive-norm information in a persuasive message is more effective when accompanied by descriptive norm information that is in alignment rather than in conflict with that message (24, 2830). For example, a sign drawing attention to the antilitter norm is more influential in reducing littering when placed in a nonlittered setting than when it is placed in a prelittered setting (31). Thus, a setting with graffiti, described by the BWT as a setting showing disorder, can cause the spraying of graffiti because it inhibits the injunctive antigraffiti norm. In honor of the individual who first described this process, we call this the Cialdini effect. The important question for the BWT is whether or not it also causes disorderly (or petty criminal) behavior in general. The question we will address is the following: Do more people litter or even steal in a setting where the antigraffiti norm (injunctive norm) is in conflict with the descriptive norm (setting shows it is common to spray graffiti)? The Cialdini effect has its basis in peoples tendency to reason if a lot of people are doing this, its probably a wise thing to do and to do what they observe others are doing (32) However, we believe that there is another, goal-driven mechanism at work as well, which is particularly important for the spread of disorder. Much conformity to injunctive norms is the result of people pursuing the goal to act appropriately. However, people can also pursue a hedonic goal directed at feeling better right now or a gain goal directed at guarding and improving ones resources. All three goals can be in conflict, and the weakening of one is likely to bring another goal to the fore (33). In a given situation, the goal to act appropriately is weakened when people observe that others seemingly did (or do) not pursue the goal to act appropriately. In turn, a weakening of this goal strengthens conflicting hedonic and gain goals. For example, when people observe that others have painted graffiti where it should not have been painted, they actually observe inappropriate behavior. This, we predict, weakens their concern for appropriateness and strengthens the goal to do what makes them feel good (for example, by being lazy and throwing paper on the street) or the goal to gain resources (say by stealing). Thus people dont necessarily copy the inappropriate behavior they observe but let concerns other than appropriateness take center stage. In this way, one norm violation fosters violations of other norms, and disorder spreads from one kind of inappropriate behavior to other kinds. We call this the crossnorm inhibition effect. An important implication of this goal-framing theory for the BWT is that the effect should not be limited to social norms in the strict sense of the word but would also apply to all sorts of legitimate rules, such as laws, police ordinances, or even legitimate rules established by private companies. To test this theory, we conducted controlled field experiments in common public spaces (34), that is, in locations where ordinary broken window kind of disorder could be observed.
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Participants were people in the public space judged to be 18 years or older. There were no signs in any of the studies that they were aware of being observed by the experimenter. We distinguished between a contextual norm (which the participant witnessed having been violated) and a target norm (a violation committed by the participant).What we manipulated were the indications that the contextual norm was being violated. What we observed as a dependent variable was the relative number of individuals who then violated the target norm, which was inconvenient or costly to follow in this situation. We predicted that disorder (violation of contextual norm) would spread (violation of target norm). To study the robustness of this cross-norm inhibition effect, we conducted six different studies. For ease of description, let us call the situation in which the contextual norm is violated (i.e., inappropriate behavior by others is being displayed) the disorder condition and the one in which it is not violated the order condition. Other factors possibly influencing the results were kept constant between conditions (no signs of other norm or rule violations, same weather conditions, and same period of the day). A confederate posted out of sight observed whether participants did or did not violate the target norm. Gender was coded at first but turned out not to have any impact on the results and was dropped in later experiments. The arrangements in all experiments were such that it was virtually impossible for people not to notice the violations of injunctive norms (such as graffiti, wrongly parked bicycles, and firecrackers). In study 1, the setting was an alley in Groningen located in a shopping area and commonly used to park bicycles. In the order condition, the walls of the alley were clean (Fig. 1A), whereas in the disorder condition they were covered with graffiti (Fig. 1B). A standard prohibition sign (a round red sign with a round white center) with the text Graffiti pointed out the disapproved behavior. The sign was highly noticeable, and every subject entering the setting at least glanced at it. Participants (N = 77 in each condition) were all people who came to collect their parked bicycles. In their absence, a flyer with an elastic band had been attached to the handlebar of their bicycle. The flyer was white and thus very noticeable. It read: We wish everybody happy holidays, signed with the name of a nonexistent sportswear shop. The flyer had to be removed by the participant to easily use the handlebar. Because there were no trash cans in the alley, not littering meant taking the flyer with them. We counted throwing the flyer on the ground or hanging it on another bicycle as littering. The cross-norm inhibition effect of violating the antigraffiti norm on littering was quite substantial. Of the participants in the order condition (nongraffiti), 33% littered compared with 69% of the participants in the disorder condition (graffiti on the walls). The difference is highly significant [c2(1, 154) = 20.367, P < 0.001]. In Groningen, littering is generally tolerated by the police so that the effect could not be explained by a guess on law enforcement, such as if people havent been caught painting graffiti, I will not be caught dropping paper. We designed the next studies to include a variety of norms in order to address two questions. We wanted to determine whether the crossnorm inhibition effect was restricted to generally accepted social norms or whether, as expected by the goal-framing theory, it also extended to local ordinances by the police or even to normative requests set up by private companies. We also wanted to determine how far the influence would go. In other words, would a norm violation just affect relatively light infractions, such as littering, or would it go so far as to affect the willingness to violate such serious norms as thou shalt not steal? For study 2, we used a police ordinance as a contextual norm and no trespassing (as ordered by the police) as the target norm in the setting of a car park. Thus, both contextual and target norms were not general social norms but rules set up by the local police for a particular local situation. A temporary fence (set up by us) closed off the main entrance for people who came to pick up their car, but a gap of about 50 cm was left open in the fence (Fig. 2). We attached two signs to the temporary fence just 60 cm apart and directly next to the gap. The right sign (our contextual norm) indicated that it was prohibited to lock bicycles to the fence. The left sign (our target norm) made clear that it was prohibited to use this entrance and that people had to use an alternative entrance to the car park, which required walking a 200-m detour. In the order condition, four bicycles standing 1 m before the fence were ostensibly not locked to the fence. In the disorder condition, four bicycles were locked to the fence for everyone to see. The dependent variable was whether pedestrians conformed to the no throughway sign (the target
Fig. 2.
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norm) and walked the 200-m detour to the temporary entrance that was pointed out by the sign. Violating the no throughway ordinance meant stepping through the gap in the fence. Subjects (N = 44 in the order condition and N = 49 in the disorder condition) were all people who came to collect their car from the car park. A group of people approaching the fence was counted as one subject. Again there was a clear cross-norm inhibition effect. Of the participants in the order condition (where bicycles were not locked to the fence), 27% stepped through the gap in the fence, compared with 82% of the participants in the disorder condition (where the bicycles were attached to the fence). The difference is significant [c2(1, 93) = 27.791, P < 0.001]. Would this also hold for a rule set by a private company that is not enforced with sanctions? In study 3, a parking garage adjacent to a supermarket and health club was used in which the contextual norm established by the private company is to return shopping carts to the supermarket after loading groceries into ones car. A very visible sticker with the text: please return your shopping carts attached to the entrance doors of the parking garage focused attention on this normative request (Fig. 3). In the order condition, the garage was clear of shopping carts that were not returned. In the disorder condition, there were four unreturned shopping carts standing around in disarray. The (unreturned) carts used in the disorder condition had no coin deposit system, so people were not financially encouraged to return them. To discourage people who just arrived from using the shopping carts and thus removing the disorder, we smeared the handle bars of the carts with petroleum jelly. Participants (N = 60 in each condition) were visitors of the supermarket and a health club who came to collect their car from the multilevel parking garage. Only people not using a shopping cart were included. The target norm was the anti-litter norm, already used in study 1. The dependent variable was whether or not participants who returned to their car littered a flyer (the same flyer as used in study 1) that was placed under the drivers side windshield wiper of their parked car. The results show that even with this private request, a considerable cross-norm inhibition effect could be observed. Of the participants in the condition without shopping carts, 30% littered the flyer, compared with 58% of the participants in the condition for which unreturned shopping carts were present. The difference is significant [c2(1, 120) = 9.766, P = 0.002]. Is disorder only linked to visual cues of norm violation? Would the cross-norm inhibition effect be of any influence when the contextual norm was merely audible? In our fourth study, we focused on a national law as a contextual norm. In Netherlands it is prohibited by law (with a 60 fine) to set off fireworks in the weeks before New Years Eve. We wanted to find out, 2 weeks before New Years Day, whether an offense against this national law would induce people to litter. In contrast to studies 1 to 3, the contextual norm was not made conspicuous (say by a sign stating the law). The law about fireworks is well known, and its violation itself would immediately make the law salient in peoples mind. The setting we used was a bicycle shed located near a busy train station. The subjects (N = 50 in the order condition and N = 46 in the disorder condition) were all people who came to collect their parked bicycle. In the order condition, there was no sound of fireworks. In the disorder condition, we set off firecrackers (well within hearing distance of the participants but out of sight to prevent any visual cues). We observed whether participants littered a flyer (the same flyer as used in studies 1 and 3) attached to the handlebar of their bicycle. Of the subjects in the order condition (no fireworks set off), 52% littered the flyer compared with 80% of the subjects that heard fireworks being set off as they entered the bicycle shed. The difference is significant [c2(1,96) = 8.587, P = 0.003]. For studies 5 and 6, the target norm was stealing, and we examined whether an envelope, visibly containing a 5 note and hanging out of a mailbox, would be stolen more often if a contextual norm was violated. The white (addressed) window envelope sticking out of a mailbox (situated in Groningen) was very noticeable for everyone approaching the mailbox, and it was clearly visible that the envelope contained a 5 note (Fig. 4). The participants were all people who singly passed the mailbox on foot (and the few who actually posted a letter). We conducted a baseline order condition (N = 71) in which the mailbox was not covered with graffiti and the ground around the mailbox was clean. We then conducted two disorder conditions: one in which the mailbox was covered with graffiti without litter on the ground (N = 60, study 5) and one in which there was no graffiti on the mailbox but the space around the mailbox was littered (N = 72, study 6). The circumstances of all three conditions in term of period of the day and weather were held constant. The dependent variable was whether or not people would steal the envelope. Leaving the envelope or pushing it into the mailbox was considered not stealing. Opening the envelope or taking it was considered stealing. Thus, we compared two disorder conditions to the baseline condition. The study 5 results were quite dramatic. Of the participants in the baseline order condition (no graffiti, no littering), 13% stole the envelope compared with 27% of the subjects in the graffiti disorder condition. The difference is significant [c2(1, 131) = 4.122, P = 0.035]. The results of study 5 proved to be robust. Compared with the baseline order condition (in which 13% stole the envelope), 25% of the subjects in study 6 stole the envelope in the litter disorder condition. The difference is again significant [c2(1, 143) = 3.545, P = 0.047]. It is highly unlikely that this effect is due to a guess about the likelihood of law enforcement triggered by littering. People are not likely to infer a low likelihood of law enforcement against stealing from the fact that people littered the street, because in Groningen littering is generally tolerated by the police whereas stealing is not. The most likely interpretation of these results is, as before, that one disorder (graffiti or littering) actually fostered a new disorder (stealing) by weakening the goal of acting appropriately. Our conclusion is that, as a certain normviolating behavior becomes more common, it will negatively influence conformity to other norms and rules. The effect was not limited to social norms but also applied to police ordinances and even to legitimate requests established by private companies. The mere presence of graffiti more than doubled the number of people littering and
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stealing. There is a clear message for policymakers and police officers: Early disorder diagnosis and intervention are of vital importance when fighting the spread of disorder. Signs of inappropriate behavior like graffiti or broken windows lead to other inappropriate behavior (e.g., litter or stealing), which in turn results in the inhibition of other norms (i.e., a general weakening of the goal to act appropriately). So once disorder has spread, merely fixing the broken windows or removing the graffiti may not be sufficient anymore. An effective intervention should now address the goal to act appropriately on all fronts.
References and Notes
1. J. Q. Wilson, G. L. Kelling, Broken windows, Atl. Mon. (March 1982), p. 29. 2. M. Gladwell, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference (Little, Brown, Boston, 2000). 3. W. G. Skogan, Disorder and Decline: Crime and the Spiral of Decay in American Neighborhoods (Univ. of California Press, Berkeley, 1990). 4. G. Kelling, C. Coles, Fixing Broken Windows: Restoring Order and Reducing Crime in Our Communities (Free Press, New York, 1996). 5. G. L. Kelling, W. H. Sousa Jr., Do Police Matter? An Analysis of the Impact of New York Citys Police Reforms (Manhattan Institute Center for Civic Innovation Civic Report No. 22, New York, 2001). 6. R. J. Sampson, S. W. Raudenbush, Am. J. Sociol. 105, 603 (1999). 7. National Research Council, Fairness and Effectiveness in Policing: The Evidence, W. Skogan, K. Frydl, Eds. (National Academies Press, Washington, DC, 2004). 8. B. E. Harcourt, Mich. Law Rev. 97, 291 (1998). 9. J. E. Eck, E. R. Maguire, in The Crime Drop in America, A. Blumstein, J. Wallman, Eds. (Cambridge Univ. Press, New York, 2000), pp. 207265. 10. B. E. Harourt, J. Ludwig, Univ. Chic. Law Rev. 73, 271 (2006). 11. R. B. Cialdini, R. R. Reno, C. A. Kallgren, J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 58, 1015 (1990). 12. R. B. Cialdini, C. A. Kallgren, R. R. Reno, Adv. Exp. Soc. Psychol. 24, 201 (1991). 13. R. B. Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Morrow, New York, ed. 2, 1993). 14. J. P. Codol, Eur. J. Soc. Psychol. 5, 457 (1975). 15. J. M. Marques, D. Abrams, D. Pez, C. Martinez-Taboada, J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 75, 976 (1998). 16. L. S. Shaffer, J. Mind Behav. 4, 275 (1983). 17. S. Chaiken, R. Giner-Sorolla, S. Chen, in The Psychology of Action: Linking Motivation and Cognition to Behavior, P. M. Gollwitzer, J. A. Bargh, Eds. (Guilford, New York, 1996), pp. 553578. 18. R. B. Cialdini, M. R. Trost, in Handbook of Social Psychology, D. Gilber, S. Fiske, G. Lindzey, Eds. (McGraw-Hill, Boston, ed. 4, 1998), vol. 2, pp. 151192. 19. M. Deutsch, H. B. Gerard, J. Abnorm. Soc. Psychol. 51, 629 (1955). 20. L. Berkowitz, Adv. Exp. Soc. Psychol. 6, 63 (1972). 21. L. Bickman, Soc. Psychol. 87, 323 (1972). 22. R. R. Reno, R. B. Cialdini, C. A. Kallgren, J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 64, 104 (1993). 23. S. H. Schwartz, J. A. Fleishman, Soc. Psychol. 41, 306 (1978). 24. R. B. Cialdini, Curr. Dir. Psychol. Sci. 12, 105 (2003). 25. P. L. Winter, J. S. Brad, K. Rhoads, D. W. Barrett, R. B. Cialdini, Environ. Manage. 26, 589 (2000). 26. R. M. Krauss, J. L. Freedman, M. Whitcup, J. Exp. Soc. Psychol. 14, 109 (1978). 27. W. C. Finnie, Environ. Behav. 5, 123 (1973). 28. R. B. Cialdini et al., Soc. Influence 1, 3 (2006). 29. R. N. Rimal, M. K. Lapinski, R. J. Cook, K. Real, J. Health Commun. 10, 433 (2005). 30. P. W. Schultz, A. M. Khazian, A. Zaleski, Soc. Influence 4, 4 (2008). 31. S. M. Reiter, W. Samuel, J. Appl. Soc. Psychol. 10, 45 (1980). 32. R. B. Cialdini, Psychometrika 72, 263 (2007). 33. S. Lindenberg, L. Steg, J. Soc. Issues 63, 117 (2007). 34. Materials and methods are available as supporting material on Science Online. 35. We thank the University of Groningen for providing us the necessary means to complete this project. We also thank J. W. Bolderdijk, T. Postmes, J. A. Rothengatter, J. Thgersen, and four anonymous reviewers for their helpful comments.
Supporting Online Material

www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/322/5908/1681/DC1 Materials and Methods 5 June 2008; accepted 31 October 2008 10.1126/science.1161405
Germ CellIntrinsic and Extrinsic Factors Govern Meiotic Initiation in Mouse Embryos
Yanfeng Lin,* Mark E. Gill,* Jana Koubova, David C. Page Retinoic acid (RA) is an essential extrinsic inducer of meiotic initiation in mammalian germ cells. However, RA acts too widely in mammalian development to account, by itself, for the cell-type and temporal specificity of meiotic initiation. We considered parallels to yeast, in which extrinsic and intrinsic factors combine to restrict meiotic initiation. We demonstrate that, in mouse embryos, extrinsic and intrinsic factors together regulate meiotic initiation. The mouse RNA-binding protein DAZL, which is expressed by postmigratory germ cells, is a key intrinsic factor, enabling those cells to initiate meiosis in response to RA. Within a brief developmental window, Dazl-expressing germ cells in both XX and XY embryos actively acquire the ability to interpret RA as a meiosis-inducing signal.
iploid eukaryotes generate haploid cells via meiosis, a program of two successive cell divisions preceded by one round of DNA replication. The onset of this program is referred to as meiotic initiation. In mammals, debate has focused on whether meiotic initiation is promoted by factors extrinsic or intrinsic to germline cells (16). Meiotic initiation in female mice, commencing at embryonic day 12.5 (E12.5) (7, 8), is induced by an extrinsic factor, retinoic acid (RA) (810), but RA alone cannot account for the exquisite temporal and cell-type specificity of meiotic initiation. Although diverse somatic
Howard Hughes Medical Institute, Whitehead Institute, and Department of Biology, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 9 Cambridge Center, Cambridge, MA 02142, USA. *These authors contributed equally to this work.
cell types are exposed and respond to RA during mammalian development (11), meiotic initiation is limited to the germ line. Indeed, embryonic germ cells do not respond specifically to RA until their migration ends, at the developing gonad. Does meiotic initiation in mammals also require an intrinsic competence factor expressed in germ cells? Consider the yeast Saccharomyces cereviseae, in which meiosis is induced by a nutrient-depleted environment (12). For an S. cereviseae cell to be competent to initiate meiosis in response to this extrinsic cue, the cell must express the a/a matingtype heterodimer (13). We wondered whether an analogous interplay of extrinsic and intrinsic factors governs meiotic initiation in mammals. We considered the possibility that the Dazl (Deleted in azoospermia-like) gene might be an intrinsic meiotic competence factor, given the SCIENCE VOL 322
location and timing of its expression. In both XX and XY mouse embryos, germ cells begin to express Dazl at about the time of their arrival at the gonad, between E10.5 and E11.5 (14). No somatic lineage has been shown to express Dazl (15). Furthermore, Dazl-deficient mice are infertile because of germ celldifferentiation defects (1619). These defects are more consistent and pronounced in inbred C57BL/6 mice (19) than in noninbred mice (1618). Accordingly, we analyzed Dazl function in inbred C57BL/6 animals. We began by testing whether germ cells survive in Dazl-deficient embryonic ovaries as germ cells of Dazl-deficient C57BL/6 embryonic testes undergo apoptosis, beginning by E14.5 (19, 20). We detected two germ cell markersendogenous alkaline phosphatase (AP) activity (21) and mouse vasa homolog (MVH) protein (22)in the ovaries of wild-type and Dazl-deficient embryos (fig. S1, A and B). We also found MVH protein in wildtype and Dazl-deficient neonatal ovaries (fig. S1C), which indicates that Dazl-deficient ovarian germ cells survive embryonic development (fig. S1, A and B) and persist through birth (fig. S1C). We then compared the nuclear morphology of germ cells in wild-type and Dazl-deficient ovaries at E15.5. By this stage of development, many germ cell nuclei in wild-type ovaries exhibit the chromosome condensation that characterizes early meiotic prophase (Fig. 1A). By contrast, germ cells in Dazl-deficient ovaries do not display such condensation (Fig. 1A), which suggests that Dazl function might be required for meiotic prophase to occur. We then examined the expression of Stra8, which is required for premeiotic DNA replication and the subsequent events of meiotic prophase in germ cells of embryonic ovaries (8). As expected,
www.sciencemag.org
12 DECEMBER 2008
1685
APPENDIX: Additional Resources

1. You-tube "Inside Nature with Dr Henry Gee". Henry is one of Nature's editors. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VgNz8416cE According to Janos Hajdu (ICM): He is a spectacular writerthe movie could help you with getting published. Thanks Janos for this tip. 2. More You-tube ACS Publishing Your Research 101 http://pubs.acs.org/page/publish-research/index.html 3. Print out and read. These are excellent and extremely concise. Good writing advice in a nutshell. http://www.sfedit.net/newsletters.htm 4. How to make figures and presentations for the color-blind (=about 10% of the population) http://jfly.iam.u-tokyo.ac.jp/html/color_blind/

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