Sermon Notes

The heart of the prudent gets knowledge and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge Proverbs 18:15
Speaker John Bonacorsi Title: Opposite Dynamic / Financial Infidelity
Series: A Couples Money Relationship Matters I. REVIEW: Five Money Personalities

Date: April 28, 2013

II. THE OPPOSITE DYNAMIC: WITHIN AND WITHOUT A. Opposite dynamic the internal conflict experienced when your primary and secondary money personalities clash. ie Security Seeker / Spender B. Clashing (competing needs) 1. Spender, Risk Taker, Flyer (think of money as a means to an end, tend to be more impulsive, do not experience anxiety about money usually.) 2. Saver and Security Seeker (money is end in itself, intentional spenders, struggle with fear when money is involved) C. Seeing what is real Name Primary Secondary John Risk-Taker Security Seeker Spouse -Barbara Security Seeker Spender Ann Spender Security Joe Saver Risk Taker

See: The moneycouple.com for online free profile If your primary Money Personality is in one group and your secondary Money Personality is in another, you have Opposite Dynamic. This can be a benefit or a challenge. The only way to build a solid money relationship is for both of you to know and own your money personalities and that cant happen unless you both take time to understand your personalities. Ninety percent of couples have opposite dynamics in their money relationship. When it comes time to money, opposites really do attract. Real maturity is when you can take time to see a situation from your spouses point of view. III. FINANCIAL INFIDELITY A. Are you cheating? Financial infidelity is lying about money; hiding money; secretly hording money; controlling money; any thing less than honesty! 1. Finding: 65% of women have secret credit cards or stash cash B. C. D. Financial infidelity hurts because it goes to the heart of a relationship and its hurt is intentional! The Emotional toll is far more devastating than the toll it takes on your money. Financial infidelity is a breach of trust, a sign of indifference, and a lack of respect. Most Christian spouses would not practice financial infidelity if they saw it as it really is (from the BEMA Seat. II Cor. 5:10) Roots of financial infidelity 1. Financial separation doesnt mean two checking accounts 2. Overspending and debt brings stress 3. Lack of Planning SPs 4. Control Total power corrupts 5. Money Secrets root of selfishness

E.

IV. TWO SURVEYS A. Your Money Personality B. Financial Relationship Index (F.R.I.) C. www.THEMONEYCOUPLE.COM FREE

Phil. 2:3-5 (Phillips) Never act form motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves. None of you should think only of his own affairs, but consider other peoples interests also. Let your attitude to life be that of Christ Jesus Himself.

Discussion Questions
1. Did you take the Money Personality Survey on-line at themoneycouple.com and were your primary and secondary personalities the same as you guessed last week? Share 2. Please explain your personalities (if single) or your spouses personalities if married. Are you opposites? Has that ever helped you? 3. You can address money problems as partners, not as adversaries, if you can change the way you talk to each other and the way you make decisions. Will you try or give an example of when you may have tried this past week? 4. What challenges do your opposite money personalities create in your money relationship? 5. How do you do with the five roots of financial infidelity and what was your F.R.I. index score if you took the survey? Identify one of the 5 causes of financial infidelity that you have seen in your marriage. 6. Tell your spouse, out loud now, one thing you appreciate about his or her money personality.