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lessings to all as we come to the end of 2012 and begin 2013! This has been a year of many changes for Tom and me. The journey has and continues to be one of enlightenment. Tom has had the opportunity to share with you through our newsletters thus far and asked me to share our journey from my perspective this time. Of course, that started all those details swimming in my head of everything God has brought this year. However, I am trusting that I can share what is most important and not chase lots of rabbits; even though rabbits can be cute. As far as our family, we are so blessed to be parents andgrandparents. Aylen, Moriah and Camerons daughter, turned two years old in November. What a delight to watch her personality develop! She lives up to her name which means happiness and brings it with her when she comes into our home. She is talking and comes up with the cutest things. Landon, Luke and Cassies son, turned a year old in August. He is so much fun! He loves to laugh and snuggle which always warms this Mimis heart. It is exciting to watch him just go. He is all boy, loving to bang to make noise and explore his surroundings. When we have them together, it is so sweet to see them love each other. My heart wants to just burst open from all of the love. We are going to be blessed again with grandchild number three. Cherise and Kellen are expecting their first child sometime late June or early July. We are waiting for her first doctor visit to find out the exact due date. God is so good! It is easy to talk about my family. One of my dreams from the time I was a little girl was to grow up one day, meet a godly man, marry and have a home filled with children. How fortunate I am that God has fulfilled my dream. I am so blessed to be married to a man that loves the Lord first. That love overflows into our relationship and it grows sweeter all the time. The move to CFT has given the opportunity for God to fulfill another dream, the dream of ministering alongside Tom, counseling with couples and families. When Tom and I met in college, I was pursuing a degree in counseling. At that time it wasnt something Tom had considered. It is interesting how God orchestrated all of this. Since we came in midway of CFTs Advanced Discipleship Training (ADT) this year, I will participate in the 2013 ADT class. My desire is to be able to join the staff at CFT in the very near future. Please pray I will be sensitive to Fathers timing. Another aspect of my training has been going through the counseling process on a personal level. I dont know about you, but it isnt a fun journey to dig up stuff I would rather forget. However, it has been liberating to

recognize the false beliefs about myself and to discover how, when, and where they began. One of the things I wrestle with is the fear of rejection. Sounds pretty common doesnt it? No one wants to feel rejected. Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted. I tend to want to withdraw and hide not letting people get too close. If they get close, they will discover how imperfect I am. My value and acceptance has been based upon what I do and not who I am. You know the saying, I am just a sinner saved by grace? Even though I dont believe that, I was living that way. Instead, it should be phrased, I once WAS a sinner who HAS been saved by grace. The fact is, I AM a saint who sometimes sins. As long as I live in this world I will wrestle with flesh, but it is not who I am. It is amazing how deeply entrenched that lie has affected me. I would even beat myself up with, I should know better. I know these truths so why am I still messing up?! Is anybody out there relating? I am still learning moment by moment to trust and rest in Him. It is when I take my eyes off of Him, like Peter, I begin to sink. Do you like pickles? Well, I like pickles. Tom used an analogy that really stuck with me. When we become Christians we are new creations, (2 Cor 5:17) the old is gone. We are like pickles. When a cucumber goes through the process of becoming a pickle, it is completely immersed in the brine and the chemical make-up is completely changed. The solution entirely permeates the cucumber. Reality is, it can never go back to being a cucumber. I know this sounds a little on the simplistic side. When Christ changes us, He abides in (permeates) us completely changing our identity. We become saints. We can never go back to being a sinner. Understand I didnt say we would never sin. Our identity is changed, exchanged from sinner to saint. Yet, even knowing this truth and being surrounded by it, I was allowing myself to behave in the mindset of a sinner saved by grace; a mindset of defeat. The Accuser is subtle. Are you wondering how this could happen? I did, too. One of the other misconceptions I had was my position in Christ. I was thinking that the only way God could look at me was because Jesus was in front of me. It wasnt a conscious detail. I think it goes back to a visual flannel graph I saw as a child where Jesus blood covered my sin. They were little black figures covered with the red representing the blood. Then the white, representing Christs righteousness covered that figure. So, I think my perception and interpretation was with the literal and visual one of a child. I thought when Father looked at me, He saw me covered with Jesus and not as the new creation. Isnt it interesting how that interpretation affected my beliefs into adulthood subconsciously? Youve heard children are great observers, but terrible interpreters. Our enemy is no respecter of persons and loves to prey upon the innocence of a child. Now, I recognize the truth believing when Father looks at me, He is looking at me, His creation. Its just like the cucumber becoming a pickle, it cannot revert back to a cucumber, separating itself from the pickling solution. It will always be a pickle. I was trying to separate the cucumber from the brine again. However, I AM a new creation. I AM a saint. Nothing can separate me from Him...when He sees me, He sees the pickled me! How great is the love of our God! My new nature is all that exists. The old man is gone. Now, my journey is God destroying those false beliefs by renewing my mind to truth. This process is changing my actions (experience in the flesh) to reflect my position or identity in Christ. It will be this way for the rest of my life in this body until I get my new one. I am full of anticipation to what lies ahead. Thank you for being a part of my journey! With much love,