Ice Storm

By Michael Francis Lidman

This book is being written and posted in parts onto the Internet by the most immoral person in the world: A selfless person. The author has spend countless
hours becoming nothing while information from all walks of life took the place where mind used to be, existent. This selfless person is no longer who it
was growing up, it's mother can hardly recognize it for what it was, it's family tolerates it because it is diagnosed with some sort of malady of the mind.
The authors name even means nothing, but is a question: who is like god?

This joke of an individual, the selfless being, the nothing which sits at its screen while those around it selfishly go to work and make a good living with
their education. No... This selfless thing has no mind for such things though his brain is filled with facts and charts and figures of just the sort which you
would think a person who was filling their mind with useful information was doing.

This is now the authors chance at redemption. Asking for money which can be deposited for free via Paypal to jacksmernov@yahoo.com. He has to eat
even though it would write forever should his stomach no growl as such and his teeth not ache as much and his brain not swell as much.

But then you like selflessness and praise selfless people. So go ahead and read for free. You have the authors full permission to do with this work as you
please. You can rip out his name and pass it off as your own. You can edit or add or rearrange. Anything you need to do to make these spots, markings, or
however this representation of what the author was presented.

Most of all: Enjoy this tail unknowing and knowing of the unknown, however imperfect it exists before you. No thing and no one is perfect.

Hay...

What's the first thing you remember forgetting?

Copyleft Michael Francis Lidman 2009

Chapter 1

The ice storm encased the branches with a thick layer of ice that weighed them down. Branches that
normally would reach for the sky bowed to the ground like the head of a depressed teenager who's
discovered just how stupid adults are and just how pointless life is. Some of the trees fell. This one tree
gave in not so much because of the ice--the ice was the final blow--but to say that the ice caused the
tree to fall would be to ignore how infested it was with lichens. Some lichens contain olivetal which
along with pulegone from pennyroyal can make a material resembling THC even more potent then the
active ingredient in marijuana. I know this because Michael told me to look it up.

For reasons no one can remember, power lines are hung above ground between wooden polls. The
initial cost of burring the wires was higher then the cost hanging them above ground on polls. Largely
people fix their logic around what they like. When all the facts were in about where to put the power
lines, all of the facts against burring them had come in long enough ago for the people who ordered the
studies to triumphantly say that they were right all along in wanting to hang the power lines above
ground. That the initial cost was lower was seen as the final reason to push head with above ground
power lines.

People love trees. They are woody. Trees on the other hand make a nice image of evolution in action.
Michael was always going on about evolution. He said it was the greatest idea that ever had been or
ever will be conceived. Every branch on the tree is a surviver, every branch on the ground is not. If you
could sit in front of a sapling and watch it grow speeding up time so you don't get bored or slowing
down your mind for the same reason, you would see. Trees do almost all their growing at the tips of the
branches. Branches get thicker because the outer layer is the only part that is alive and growing. The
inside is for the most part dead, just like people.

Some branches are weaker then others, some are just unlucky. The laws of probability say that although
you would have a hard time saying which branch will brake next, on average the weaker branches will
fall more often and that on average more strong branches will stay on the tree. I like to sit in front of
trees and look at the scares left by the fallen branches and try to construct a time laps movie in my head
of the life of that tree. It's really cool how fast things fall when you speed time up a hundred million
times to fit a 50 year old tree into my fifteen second attention span. I've had to adjust quite a few of the
physical constants to get the branches to fall so quickly without smashing into the ground at relativistic
speeds. Sometimes when fifteen seconds seems to long, I imagine and the branches fall with such force
they create a stable black hole that falls straight to the center of the earth while pulling the entire planet
into itself. I've destroyed may simulated worlds in trying to get this right.

You only need one wire from the power plant to transmit electricity. The return path of the circuit is
completed through the earth. Using a multimeter you can prove to yourself by sticking the probes into a
wall socket that ground wire and the neutral wire are actually connected before they get to the socket.
They do this so that any power built up in a device has twice the ability to expel energy as it does to
draw energy. This makes it twice as hard to design a properly grounded device that will send enough
current through the house's wiring to cause a fire before the circuit breaker between the hot terminal
and the power company trips. But Michael has faith in you.

When a branch sags onto the power lines it competes the circuit to the ground, electricity flows, sparks
fly, and here in the US, the hum of sixty hertz can be heard. If the tree makes a good enough connection
to the ground then a transformer will blow. Transformers are those silver canisters you see on some
power lines.
The power at your house comes in at a certain voltage. About 120 volts here in the US. The amount of
energy you can send through a wire is proportional to voltage so to save on wire the power company
uses higher voltages where it can and transformers at the points where it needs to raze or lower the
voltage. A transformer is at it's simplest is two coils of wire next to each other. The ratio of the number
of windings between each coil determines how much the voltage is razed or lowered. The coil of wire
to the electric company acts like an electromagnet and because the current alternates that magnet turns
on and off. Changing magnetic fields produce currents in wires; current flows one way when the
magnetic field increases in strength and the other way when the magnetic field decreases in strength.
This is what happens in the coil of wire connected to your house as it steps down the voltage from
thousands of volts to the 120 volts all your neat gadgets are used to using. The more power is drawn the
grater the magnetic fields. If the magnetic fields get strong enough the transformer will rip itself apart
explosively.

That night you could hear transformer after transformer tearing themselves apart producing a blue light
that could easily be mistaken for the flash of lightning. There is a difference between the flashes of a
transformer blowing up and lightning that make them seem weird and unnatural. They make slightly
longer pulses of light then the near instantaneous flash of lightning. If you could watch lightning in
slow motion you could see were some high speed particle from space interacted with some atom in the
sky at a place where there was a strong electric field. The atom becomes ionized creating a small
pathway where electrons have an easier time moving around. Like a pile of rocks on top of an ice
coved pond as the ice melts the electrons are pulled down the electric field. That produces heat which
makes a ball of plasma, a positively charged collection of atoms with their negatively charged electrons
removed. The outside of this plasma conducts more electrons creating more plasma. Variations in the
surface of the plasma ball repulse each other as they expand outward producing tendrils as is seen in
those globes you can buy at novelty shops. The glowing tendrils of plasma expand at their tips in a
spherical like fashion. Sometimes the tips split apart. Sometimes the tips don't have enough energy to
continue to produce more plasma and stop. Sometimes a tip will connect to the ground. This makes a
pathway between the earth and the sky made of air that is more conductive then the surrounding air.
Any difference in charge between the earth and the sky will flow through that conduit of air and
produce a bolt of lightning. Charge from the other tendrils will actually flow backwards to connect with
the grounded tendril producing secondary bolts of lightning.

How I met Michael was at college I lost faith in God and tried to kill myself. I was too stupid at the
time to realize that while thirty 500mg caplets of acetaminophen (Tylenol in the states) is enough to
kill, it will only kill about fifty percent of people. Adjusting for my weight I would have needed forty
five to have even odds of it working. Tylenol kills you by destroying your liver. That's why you should
stick to aspirin or ibuprofen for hangovers; they kill you by ripping apart the lining of your stomach.
Liver failure is a slow and painful death meaning that as a means of suicide you go from having
problems in your life that make you want to kill yourself to having incredible pain and suffering until
you die.

Religion works like a virus; It cannot reproduce on its own but co-ops its human host into replicating it
into other human hosts. Religions have evolved mechanisms for increasing its effectiveness at
replicating into human minds as well as mechanisms for thwarting the mind's immune system: reason.
Religions will target children who are more vulnerable while having policies on sexuality designed to
increase fertility while at the same time reducing the amount of pleasure felt outside of the religion.
Most religions have some prerogative to go forth and spreed the good news while at the same time
instilling a distrust of outsiders. Religions make it seem to its members as if all happiness comes from
the religion and that if ever you should try to leave, complete unhappiness will be your constant
companion. Religion is evolved.

I met Michael at the state acute psychiatric hospital. He was telling adolescents on the wing about
drugs: how to make them, which ones to use and which ones to avoid. “Diethyl Ether can be made with
grain alcohol and sulfuric acid. When prohibition hit, there were some Irish towns that switched to
drinking ether. The town reeked of ether. Ether is actually better for you then alcohol. The reason they
made it illegal is because it wares off quickly so if you were caught for being drunk and disorderly by
the time you got to the police station you were sober and they had to let you go. If you are going to be
happy there must be some punishment for it.”

“The first rule is there are no rules.” Michael started off by saying to me. Michael loved that movie
Fight Club and referenced it at every opportunity. “I'm Michael Idman, I'm running for U.S. Senate,
whatever state I'm in. He explained that the U.S. Constitution stipulated that to run for Senate you had
to be living in the state you were elected and at least thirty years old and that was how old he was.

I told him my name was Michael too. “Do you know what your name means?” he asked. “It means
godlike” I replied. “No” he snapped. “It means who is like God? It's a question.” He told me it was a
fabulous name and I should be proud of it because it was one of only two names that were questions.
“It's the question that drives us.” He went on about the Matrix where that quote comes from. “Your
brain is a chemical computer. It has 10 to the 11th power neurons each connected to an average of 1000
synapses and capable of firing at about 1000 times per second. That means your brain is a super
computer that operates on the order of 10 to the 17th power operations per second.” “Current super
computers operate at 10 to the 15th power operations per second and with we're on pace to match the
human brain in 2018.” He told me that by the year 2048 technology would progress so fast that normal
humans will not be able to keep up with it. That's the Singularity. “You will be upgraded. Upgrading is
compulsory.” Cybermen from Doctor Who he explained.

I never liked my name. It was the most common male name when my parents decided to give it to me.
Michael was the archangel who threw Satan out of heaven after asking “Who is like God?” thats where
the meaning of the name comes from. Michael then shouted “
I am my own sovereign.
I am my own pope.
I am my own prophet.
I am my own god.”
Then he turned towards me and whispered with a lisp “I'm also my own queen” and strut down the hall
with a feminine sway and a cocked wrist. There are more Michaels around then people like to admit.

Michael had been diagnosed bipolar after he led the police in what he claimed was a low speed chase
down the interstate across the state line. He was protesting the Iraq war. “I'm the only candidate for
senate that is on the record as being opposed to the war from the beginning.”

The power went out about midnight. The battery backup lasted about fifteen minuets. No internet. This
is going to suck.
Chapter 2

The ice storm was the worst in the states history. We live out as far from town as you can get so we'll
be without power or internet for a few days. The internet is getting very respectable these days. You can
get anything you want if you know were to look and for the most part finding out where to look is as
easy as asking Google.

Michael knew the back waters of the internet well and was never ashamed of downloading anything. I'd
download my favorite song with Limeware, he'd download the entire works of the artist with Bittorent.
“If you really want to tap into the stream you need to check out Usenet aka Newsgroups.” Usenet was
designed on top of the email system and was the oldest per to per system on the net. “They got the idea
that it would be cool to have an email box that anyone would be able to access and read. The email
system could only hand text characters so to send binary files all they had to do was encode around the
characters the email system couldn't handle. Soon enough people where sharing their porn collections
and binary newsgroups were born. I just downloaded a few thousand books on physics including
advanced nuclear reactor design.

Originally, copyright and patents were instituted so that intellectuals would feel free sharing their work
knowing they would have a government granted monopoly over their work long enough to make it
worth while. Copyrights and patents used to expire but over the last hundred years have been extended
so many times that they are for all intents and purposes perpetual. “Culture is the collection of that
which is imitated. Keeping people from freely copying ideas is like putting the brakes on culture. I
doubt it's a good thing for us in the long run. When we get our Star Trek replicators it's going to be too
expensive to use them legally. People will pirate food like they pirate music. Then Monsanto will start
suing people like the RIAA is doing now. It will be great.”

Did I mention Usenet is the easiest place to get large collections of normal porn.” He hunched over and
whispered “But if you want really fucked up porn you have to go to IRC. It's more complicated but if a
human being has done it on camera, you can get it from IRC.” He then went on about how sex between
a woman and a dog was healthier then sex with other humans. “You see there are no known sexually
transmitted diseases between dogs and humans.” He added “That is not true between humans and
sheep. You have to know what you're fucking.” He also added that HIV came from chimps.

Michael had his family bring in some of his books to the hospital. One of them was The Ancestor's Tale
by Richard Dawkins also known as Darwin's Pitbull. It was a book that traced the human genealogy
back millions of years marking the connection our family tree has with the family trees of the other
animals, the plants, and even bacteria. He love to pull it out when the student nurses would show up on
the ward. “Humanities closest living relatives are the chimpanzee and the bonobo. They split off from
us some six million years ago are approximately 250,000th cousin 250,000 times removed. We are
equally related to the chimpanzee and the bonobo.” He then would tell the female students to read the
bonobo's tale tempting them by telling them it was an example of a female dominated society. “The
chimpanzee resolve sexual issues with power. The bonobo resolve power issues with sex.” The chapter
describes how the bonobo are ok with homosexuality, lesbianism (even describing how females would
engage in genital on genital rubbing letting out groans of pleasure). Food sharing is sexually mediated.
Caged bonobo would spontaneously develop erections when their keepers would bring food. Bonobo
apparently have sex with there young too. He quipped “Mother's milk and fathers albumen, eh? Hay,
more harm is done to children who are raped by telling them that what happened was wrong then the
rape itself.”
I was home-schooled, my mom taught me. I never went to the public schools in my town. When I was
eight I cheated on a spelling test. My mom found out and never taught spelling again. Thankfully by
the time I was seventeen I had a computer with spell checking. I got held back a grade after the first
year. I was good at mathematics so I was a grade behind in everything but math. Whenever someone
would ask what grade I was in I would tell them I was in the nth grade in math but the n-1th grade in
everything else. I've never grown any less awkward.

Michael learned everything on his own. He was a learning machine he explained. “The only thing
essential computers are missing besides speed is a general purpose learning algorithm. With a good
learning algorithm we could wake up the internet.”

Before I became really unstable I used to work programing computers. I had a job where I had a lot of
down time so I implemented a genetic algorithm which is an algorithm inspired by the idea of
evolution. If you have a problem where there are more potential solutions then you can conceivably
search through and if some of those solutions are better then others you can use a genetic algorithm to
find an fairly optimal solution faster then with blind luck. What you do is make a mapping from a
string of ones and zeros (this becomes like DNA) onto a solution to the problem (this is like creating
the cellular machinery that takes DNA and makes a human); this is called going from genotype to
phenotype. Then you make a subroutine to produce new strings from old strings. This can be done by
random mutation of a one to a zero or a zero to a one; by inserting, deleting, or rearranging random
sections; or by combining two or more old strings into one, as long as your mapping is able to create a
solution from the resulting string it's ok; this represents reproduction. Finally, you make a subroutine to
figure out just how good that solution is so you can compare it to other solutions; this represents
fitness. You have everything you need for evolution: variation, imperfect replication with heredity, and
selection.

I started with a population of randomly generated strings; they all sucked. But some were better then
others and my fitness routine picked out the best and sent them to the reproduction routine and
produced generation two. After some tweaking to the replication routine so that the gene pool would
balance between becoming stagnant and being totally chaotic I let it run for a few hundred generations.
It worked. It converged on an optimal solution. I compared it to the method of completely random
generation of solutions and found it had a clear advantage. For the first time in my life I believed in
evolution.

The biology textbook my mother had me learn from taught me that evolution was illogical, that fossils
were routinely forged and held up as the missing link, and that we were actually created from mud not
to long ago. I remember the caricature of Einstein explaining how the fit survive to a cartoon child who
asked what is fitness. As the bumbling Einstein character tells the Christian kid that it is those who
survive that are fit and the child exclaims in that gotcha moment that makes stupid people so smug that
this is circular reasoning and dismisses Einstein to go pray. Little did I know at the time that the child
was later going to psychologically torture himself with thoughts being sent to eternal hell after
discovering masturbation while Einstein was going off to fuck his mistress with a clean conscience
believing this life was all there was. This was not the last time I was conceded enough to think I knew
better then Einstein.

Michael asked me if I knew that a trained eye could tell with eighty percent accuracy whether a woman
had had an orgasm from having penetrative sex by watching the way they walk, their gate. We made a
game out of guessing which of the female patents and staff knew how to enjoy themselves in the sack.
In samurai culture they dedicate both their mind and body to the way of the samurai. Every muscle is to
be exercised, including those used in sex. It's called Tantra. The women get into the act as well. For a
woman to have an orgasm from sex it's said that they have to exercise muscles of the vaginal wall or
have a kid. In Japan there are women who are so good flexing their vaginal muscles that they have
developed a certain amount of dexterity in their pussies. On the internet you can see women who shoot
ping-pong balls across the room. A woman can envelop a roll of coins and give you exact change with a
little practice. There is a certain spiritual side to Tantra.

I was the third son and middle child of seven and all my younger siblings were girls; I was destined to
be fucked up. Being a catholic home schooler didn't help. My parents knew I would grow up to be a
social outcast unless I had the chance to interact with other children so they did their best to get me out.
They had took me to karate lessens, cub scouts, baseball, basketball, tap dancing, and ballet. I never did
them for very long and I was never good at interacting with the public school kids. Although in ballet I
have an excellent fifth position that my sisters envy. What I am most grateful for now was magic class.

Magicians know just how much bullshit there is out there. They created half of it. Walking on water,
that's easy. Ascending into heaven, I saw David Blane do that on TV. Fooling people is not hard. There
are plenty of dvd's you can buy that will show you everything. Michael just downloaded them from
Usenet.

“This hospital is like the opium dens in china; you can't leave until you've taken all the drugs you can
afford.” He then lifted his upper lip and pulled out last nights medication. He pretended like he was in
front of the nurse taking his pill, put it in his mouth and mimed drinking from a cup. He opened his
mouth wide showing underneath his tongue like they make you do to show you had taken them, closed
his mouth, smiled and lifted his upper lip again revealing the pill. I couldn't tell if he hadn't shown me. I
wouldn't have thought you couldn't see the bulge because when I had tried it the feeling of the pill was
large and touching the upper lip it felt like it was bulging so I never tried. “That is why magicians tell
you to practice in front of a mirror.” He told me. “These pills actually feel pretty good at first, but they
make you sedentary and slow witted. I call them stupidity in a pill. Bipolars are smart so they figure
they can fix em by giving them shit to make dumb like the rest of the human cattle that roam the planet
with nary a thought between their ears. I wonder if it can be absorbed rectally.” Michael went off
imitating the gate of one of the girls he was sure had multiple orgasms every time, wrist cocked. “I'm
going to go shove this up my ass and find out.”

I was a fat kid growing up. I loved eating and the pantry was always full. I went to a catholic college
where the schedule was god. It was the first time I had to let any significant time pass between
shoveling something in my mouth. I lost weight pretty quickly in that environment and it felt great.
Summer came and I gained it all back. But I felt uneasy carrying the weight this time. After I left nazi
death camp college as my siblings who also had attended started to call it, I lost 100 pounds on my
own. I called it the depression diet. It consisted of hating myself as often as I could, starving myself,
and exercising to Marylin Manson. After that I felt good for years until I had a manic episode and was
put on the antipsycotic Zyprexa, olanzipan, the most notorious weight gain drug out there. I gained it
all back after two years. Thinking back on the depression diet, I think if I really want to loose the
weight again I'll use methamphetamine. That is what it was being proscribed for back in the fifties and
sixties. On the street they were called black beauties. Michael told me they were put out by Lilly, the
same company that sells Zyprexa. “One hundred percent pure methamphetamine hydroclorite.” The
sixties were a magical time.

The storm has been over for a day and the power is still out. My father has the generator going. We are
one of seven on our block that remembers the last time this happened three or four years ago. The
power was down for three days and it got below zero and stayed there. The first day wasn't bad this
time. But it's going to get cold soon. The news is saying this is possibly the worst ice storm on record.
Chapter 3

My wife and I owned a home for a few years. I hadn't worked since I got out of the hospital after being
diagnosed. I set up a computer repair business and put an ad in the phone book. I really hate computer
repair. The security on Windows is like swiss cheese and that's not even the biggest problem. Executing
a program on a Windows machine is like having sex with a stranger; you never know what else your
going to get. Free screen savers, animated characters that dance on your screen and novelty mouse
pointers use to be a fun way to personalize your computer until some prick saw an opportunity to sell
ads. Yes, computers can get A(i)DS. There is nothing preventing someone who has created an install
package for something you want to include something you don't without telling you. When I worked at
a computer repair shop adware was just beginning to be a problem. When I started the business to make
some extra cash, cleaning up the mess after all the extra software installed by trusting users ground
their computer to a near halt--yet oddly had enough CPU cycles left for an ad for penis enhancement
pills--had become the largest part of computer repair. They had gotten really good at hiding things in
the internals too which made it a bitch to remove. A little trust from the user is all someone needs to get
into a system. There is really no limit to what you can do to a Windows box after that.

We were both shut-ins as kids. Shy, we never ventured far from our rooms. When we were married and
had a house it was the same way except the rest of the house was empty. We kept the downstairs
temperature as low as we dared. One night the pipes froze. The pump that circulates hot water from the
furnace through the downstairs heaters burned itself out. The basement got even colder. When my wife
and I got back the water had stopped working; none of the faucets would turn on which meant that the
toilet only had one flush left before the shit would start to pile up. The water meter from the power
company is made of plastic. When it froze it cracked. I found this out after putting a heater in the
basement and coming back after a few hours to find all my shit soaked.

I hate this state in the winter. Every time we would take a shower the basement would get wet. Every
time we did laundry the basement would get wet. I finally found out that water was backing up the
sewer line and poring out through the drain pipe to the washing machine. You don't get much from
disability so hireling a plummer sounded like an extravagance we could not afford. The pipe that
connects the house to the main sewer was my first guess. It was made of a clay made of asbestos and
had cracked and caved in. Through six inches of frost I dug with pick and shovel in the freezing cold to
get to the pipe. The soil underneath the frost was dry and easy to remove. It was a welcome relief until
I got to the pipes. I was wading through shitty water operating an electric grinder to cuting into
asbestos pipes to make a clean enough surface to join to. I hated that house, especially in winter.

Power to the laptop, check. Power to the wireless, check. Power to the cable modem, check. Internet,
negative. The cable company doesn't supply it's own power. The green service boxes around the
neighborhood only have enough power for three hours. After that the digital cable and the internet are
down. The power company is still estimating a few days more for those who don't have power already.
What the hell am I going to do without the internet. I'm starting to jones.

Michael asked the mental health worker for the dictionary. “Not the pocket addition. The blue one. The
American Heritage dictionary.” Michael sat next to one of the new adolescents and flipped the pages.
“Start by looking at just the pictures. See, here is a cut away of a grenade. Here is a cut away of a dry
cell battery. Here is a picture of morning glory. Did you know you can get fucked up on morning glory
seeds? Look here is another plant that can get you high, belladonna. It says here that it's poisonous but
don't believe them.” Michael would often quote his chemistry professor. “There is no such thing as a
poison. Everything is toxic.”
“To much of anything is precisely the quantity which is in excess.” Chemists don't talk about weather
something is poison or not, they talk in terms of probability. If you look at the Material Data Safety
Sheet for a substance they will use a number called LD50 to describe how toxic a thing is. LD50 stands
for the dose that would be lethal half the time or kill on average half of the population administered that
quantity. “You also have to consider the method. The LD50 of water when ingested is much higher then
it is when administered bronchially. One way kills through asphyxiation, the other way kills by kidney
failure.” Michael added “Some drugs don't work unless take them the right way. Zyprexa doesn't do
anything for me when I take it orally. But when I get restrained and they give it to me in an
intramuscular shot it feels really good till it puts me to sleep. I can't wait to try it intravenously when I
get out of here. You can tell they want junkies to try it. The new pills are desolvable so they are easy to
prepare like heroin. Lilly is fucked up. They are run by the hells angels you know.”

Being around crazy people you get used to not believing everything that comes out of a persons mouth.
If only I had internet I could look that up. Michael was an experientualist. If it didn't happen to him it
didn't happen, it was just a story. “I'm pleased to report that the Bob Barker balsamic shampoo they
give us does not sting my ass no matter how far I shove it up there. The Bob Barker Maximum Security
4in1 tingles slightly and also gives a pleasing warming sensation. Sodomites agree that Bob Barker
products are far better then Ivory, Dial or Dove.”

I eventually built up enough courage to ask Michael if he was gay. He pulled out some photos of a baby
he claimed was his daughter. He said his soon to be ex-wife put him in the hospital after he had been
acting odd. I jokingly asked him what he was doing that was so odd. He replied prising his lips
together, cocking his head and fluttering his eyelashes “Going to the gay bar.”

You're bisexual. Quickly he asked “Do you want to have sex with me?” No I... “Then why do you
ask?” If I didn't feel uneasy asking now I felt downright defensive now. “You're such a caricature. You
can't be real.” He had thought this out and had his speech in the back of his mind ready for the
accusation.

“Outward appearances are not inward realities. Your Christ made his greatest commandment “to judge
not.” Or was it to love--actually you can find it both ways if you're willing to look in different places.
We can only imitate what we see, the outward appearance. Imitation of the inward reality would simply
be called being. If you hadn't noticed by now we can't know ourselves, or don't. I really doubt we can
know another person and hence the warning from Jesus not to judge.”

Michael loved doing his George Carlin impression. “Have you ever walked into and forgot why?”

“I cannot deny the power of my experiences except with the failings of my memory or the confusion of
the senses so I try logic. I cannot deny the power of logic except by the misapplication of principle or
the uncertainty of the principles themselves. When I doubt the logic I check it but still I make mistakes.
When I examine the principles I can see no proof for them; if they could be proven then they would not
be principles but propositions. Which leads me back to experiences again. A person who is honest to
themselves will do this loop until they die: I am recursive.”

“But what about self evident principles? Tell me about Descartes. I think therefore I am. I can doubt
everything but I can't doubt in doing so that I am doubting.” I asked.

“Descartes didn't have the English language. He was at a disadvantage. In his time you could had have
done something. But his language lacked the verb tenses to having had had or to having had had had.
When I doubt everything and try to doubt that I'm doubting, I doubt that had doubted doubting; Then I
doubt that I had had doubted doubting; Then I doubt that I had had had doubted doubting; and so on
until the drugs ware off.” Michael laughed.

“But surly that's a malfunction of your mind.”

“I claimed to be god. I didn't clam to be perfect. And if you want to call me Shirley, I'm going to take a
shower next safety check. That will give you fifteen minutes to call me Shirley all you want.”

My sister's friend had no hot water so she asked to come over to take a shower. She was going to have
to drive farther to shower somewhere else. We would be saving gas by letting her shower here.
Chapter 4

The local news did a story about how an auto parts store was getting a shipment of 300 generators that
afternoon. Many were turned away empty handed and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

“A nuclear reactor in every hummer.” Michael was in campaign mode. “Did you know there is a
nuclear reactor underneath the hospital? It's called the earth.” One of the books Michael had was The
Golden Book of Chemistry Experiments. He downloaded it off the internet and printed it out on a color
laser printer and bound the pages with five minute epoxy. “You remember Golden Books right? See
spot run and all that. The Golden Book of Chemistry Experiments was published in 1960 back when
they actually wanted children to learn. They wanted to stay ahead of the U.S.S.R and they thought
education would be part of a good strategy. 'You Scientist' this is the story of Madame Curie who with
her husband discovered radium. Look, here is what chemists use at their labs to do experiments. Look,
here are things you can find in your parents kitchen to do your own experiments. 'Cooking and cleaning
are chemical processes.' The story goes that this book was too good at explaining chemistry to kids and
kids were actually using it. Look 'add 5ml of ETHANOL to 5ml of sodium hypochlorite solution
(CLOROX) and heat mixture for a few moments without boiling. Then sniff carefully. You get the
peculiar sweetish oder of chloroform, the C2H4OH has been turned into CHCL3.'” Telling kids you
can make a powerful anesthetic out of vodka and bleach is a good way to get your book pulled off the
shelf.”

Michael liked The Golden Book of Chemistry Experiments because a kid named David Hahn who
made a nuclear reactor in his parents garden shed was inspired by the book. “If a kid can make a
nuclear reactor under his parents noses, a fast breeder reactor no less, then anyone can do it. Do you
know what you do with nuclear waste? You use some of the energy produced to refine the material to
make another reactor.”

“Surely... I mean, it's not that easy is it?”

Michael drew a large lambda on a peace of paper. “Stop thinking about elements like carbon or
uranium. Just use the numbers of protons and neutrons.” Michael drew a graph with P on the horizontal
axes and N on the vertical access and drew a diagonal line on the graph. “Look up the table of
nucleotides on Wikipedia when you get out. P is the number of protons and N is the number of
neutrons. This diagonal line is the line of stability. Elements on this side of the line have too many
neutrons to be stable. For the most part they will give off neutrons when they decay. This other side of
the line is proton heavy. For the most part they will give of alpha partials which are two protons and
two neutrons. You can see the line is biased to one side; as the number of protons increase you need
more and more neutrons to make a stable nucleus. That's why giving off an alpha particle will make a
proton heavy isotope more stable.”

“To better detect drugs laboratory is starting to use mass spectroscopy. The way it works is by taking a
substance with a known charge you can measure it's mass by shooting it through a magnetic field. This
sorts mater by it's mass to charge ratio. You can use the same concept to take shit and sort out the
neutron heavy isotopes over here” pointing to one leg on the lambda he drew “and the proton heavy
isotopes over here.” pointing to the other leg. “Anything in between is stable and you can through out.”

“They promised us energy too cheap to meeter back in the fifties when they figured all this shit out.
People were too afraid of the bomb, too distrustful of other people, too stupid to realize that every
problem had a solution, and too short sighted to see the best way to be greedy in the long run was to be
generous in the short term.”

Doctor Minutia interrupted. “Mr Idman can I speak to you for a moment.” She wasn't wearing a bra
and you could see her nipples through her golden satin blouse. When Michael came back he said
“When I get back I'll tell you why I think we should give even our enemies the bomb. But right now
I'm going to go masturbate while the image is fresh in my mind.”

Michael was good at not meeting peoples expectations.

The power is back on and the internet is working. If you think this is the end of the story you're wrong.
This is where things get really fucked up. Don't even think about reading the next part. You're going to
wish you hadn't even if you were able to stomach this part; It's even more poorly written and has none
of the of the respectable content.

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO

Chapter 1

Allah is All ‫الله هو الكل‬

Translate ‫ الله‬that they might understand.

‫الله‬, pronounced all-ah, means The All.

Let me just get rid of that hard stop mark so you can see more clearly

‫لله‬

All that is is The All and yet The All is All that is.
‫الله هو مجموع الشياء و مجموع الشياء هو الله‬

The sum total of things is ‫ الله‬in Arabic, The All in English.

‫ ي الانجليزية‬The All ‫ مجموع الشياء هو‬، ‫مجموع الشياء هو الله في العربية‬

Allah is everything and 0 ‫ و و الش و الله هو كل و‬0 ‫و‬

Allah is everything and 0 ‫و الله هو كل و‬

‫في الانجليزية‬

‫ مجموع الشياء هو‬، ‫ مجموع الشياء هو الله في العربية‬The All ‫في الانجليزية‬
‫الله هو مجموع الشياء و مجموع الشياء هو الله‬

‫و‬

‫الله هو مجموع الشياء‬

‫مجموع الشياء هو الله‬

‫فإن جميع هو الله‬

‫الله هو كل‬

‫هو‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬
‫و ‪Allah is everything and 0‬‬ ‫كل‬ ‫هو‬ ‫الله‬