Jia Xi/Jamesie Poo -> Ms.

Shabalabadingdong (the teacher) Yi Bin -> Jackie Russell (smartypants goody-two-shoes) Mrunal/Dollie -> Selina (stuck-up princess wannabe) Sam(my-Wammy) -> The Sam (laid-back class clown) HY -> Shemedobuguan (Japanish evil genius criminal mastermind) YB: Hello everyone! My name is Jackie. Im the best and smartest student in the whole school! I get at least 90% for all of my tests if not 100%! I always do my homework on time and am never late for school. My ambition is to win a scholarship and be the first female Prime Minister of Singapore, M: Im Selina and Im the class princess. Jackie is like SO lame and kwai. She doesnt DO anything without the Ms. Shabalabadingdongs permission and just nods along with whatever she says! She studies so much her glasses are as thick as bricks! Shell totally go blind one day, haha! As for me, Im the most beautiful girl in class and one day I will become Miss Singapore! S: Huh, thats what she thinks! Selina should seriously consider getting her eyes checked., is she blind or something? Miss Singapore? Please lah, Miss Stinko is more like it. She think she so pretty but dont even know she got BO. I feel like throwing up every time I go near herso gross! AnywayIm The Sam, a class clown with awful results. I hate studying and school is the worse thing that has happened to me. HY: These girls think their somebodies, but theyre nobodies in reality. I mean, who cares? Were all nobodies in school anyway, just here to study, shut up and listen to the stupid teacher everyday. As for my nameyou dont need to know. Life is so boringI wish I could kill someone, now that would be fun! Hmwho should I do? Got it! Lets play a trick on the teacher! All: LETS PLAY A TRICK ON THE TEACHER! A PLAY IN ONE ACT JX: Good morning class! How are all of you today? How was your holiday? Are we happy? S: Lame JX: Im sorry Sam, what did you say?

YB: Oh, she only means to say that the holidays were just a little boring. JX: Boring? But theres so much to do! Like going to the library, or going to the zoo? HY: Ms. Shabalabadingdong weve been to the zoo so many times already I think the animals all gonna time of global warming some more when we go we bring more body heat which increases the temperature like that the animals will die of heat exhaustion. JX: That is such perverse logic! What have you been reading? Hand it out! JX: Children, this is very perverse literature! I do not want to see anyone reading it! In fact, I strictly forbid this book in and out of class, do you understand? YB, M, S, HY: Yes teacher. JX: Very good. YB: Ms. Shabalabadingdong! Ive just finished Great Expectations by Charles Dickens! Its very good! JX: Excellent! Im glad to see someone actually doing something constructive during the holidays. I have something to show all of youhmthe projector is not working againOK, everyone take out your textbook and work on page 55I need to go and get the technician M: Teachers pet! YB: Im not! S: Shes not teachers pet, shes teachers dog! M, S: Teachers dog! Jackie the teachers dog! Arf arf! Arf arf! YB: Hey! Stop it! S: Or what? You gonna beat me up izzit? So scared! Ill break your glasses after

school, make your precious mummy buy you a new pair. M: Oh she cant afford it, Sam. Dont you know? her family is so poor S: Ya go run to your mummy lah, mummy mummy, somebody broke my glasses at school, whatever shall I do, boo hoo hoo! M: Poor mummys little girl! S: And dear mummy will say Oh Im so sorry daughter, we cant afford to buy you knew glasses cos daddy lost his job today! M: And why did daddy lose his job? S: Cos her daddy is so stupid seestupid parents have stupid daughters! YB: Hey! Im not the stupid one ok, who got 5% for her math test? S: At least I didnt get a lousy 1 mark like someone did M: Hey, not like I was the lowest (JX walks in) JX: Ok children, be quiet, be quiet! M, S, HY: Talk to the hand. (JX sits down and talks to hand) (M, S, HY talk while YB interrupts with stupid questions.) HY: Im bored S: I know, lets play a trick on Ms. Shabalabadingdong! YB: No! You mustnt do that! Ms. Shabalabadingdong is so nice!

S: Ei, my dad is the Prime Minister you know? You want to be Prime Minister or not M: Ya, and my dad is a bigshot at MOE you know? You want scholarship or not (YB nodding eagerly) S: What should we do? M: I know! Lets put glue on her chair! Thatd be so hilarious! S: Ok! Hey Ms. Shabalabadingdong, did you know that theyre giving out free doughnuts at the Level 8 staff room? Youd better get there fast before theyre all gone! (JX looks delighted and surprised then runs off) (glue is put on Ms. Shabalabadingdongs chair) (JX comes back) JX: My dear Sammy-Wammy, I think you should go and see the school counselor. Apparently, there is no Level 8 in our schooland sadly, no doughnuts. (S rolls eyes) (JX sits down) (M, S, HY try to get JX to get up while JX keeps stalling) HY: Ms. Shabalabadingdong, I dont understand this paragraph! You explain to me can? JX: Oh of course! (JX gets up and chair is stuck to her and she hobbles over to HY) (M, S, HY laugh hysterically)

(JX looks tearful and runs out like a headless chicken) (YB looks upset and follows JX out) YB: Ms. Shabalabadingdong, are you alright?

*splash* YB: Oh no! (M, S, HY keep on laughing hysterically) [The End]