6.Appropriate motivation to live up to expectations. Effect on children 1.Achieve desirable personal and social adjustments. 2.Develop independence in thinking.

3.Develop initiative in action. 4.Be active and outgoing. 5.Be spontaneous in behaviour. 6.Achieve healthy, positive, and confident self-concept. 7.Have better self-control. 8.Tackle problemss in a positive way. 9.Are more approachable and friendly.

Conclusion How a child reacts in a situation reflects the disciplinary method adopted by the adult. A child brought up in an authoritarian atmosphere will be scared to explore and approach fearing punishment. A child from a permissive background might be boisterous and disruptive in his approach. A child with a democratic upbringing will systematically approach and explore the situation. The democratic approach seems to be effective in healthy and overall development of a child.

Focus

Need for Disciplining the Children

Sinu E* Dr Indiramma V**

References: htpp://www.indianchild.com./freshbuds.htm htpp://www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov.htm

Special Editors We are thankful to our special editors for the ensuing months: Month Focus Special Editor July 2007 Stress Tolrence Dr Rameela Shekar, Mangalore. Aug 2007 Academic Skills Dr Muralidhar D, NIMHANS.
Sep 2007 Oct 2007 Educating the Girl Child Students with Problem Dr Banoomathy, Chennai.

Dr Sekar, NIMHANS.

Nov 2007 Motivating Students. Dec 2007 Human Rights in Education. Dr Rameela Shekar, Mangalore has consented to be the special editor for the month of July 2007. Draft articles may please be submitted by e-mail to jssw.india@gmail.com on or before 20th June 2007 to facilitate peer review. Typewritten draft articles may please be sent in duplicate by post to: P J Naidu, Editor, Journal of School Social Work, 8 (New 14) Sridevi Colony, 7th Avenue, Ashok Nagar, Chennai 600083 22 Journal of SCHOOL SOCIAL WORK June 2007

Introduction Disciplining is the art of child rearing practices. It is vested in the parents hands. Discipline also reflects the part of the personality of child-parent relationship, part of the culture and the family to which they belong. Parents need to understand childrens age is the age of the creativity, where normally they tend to force their ideas or views upon them. Failure to recognize the importance of the creative age, may lead to impediments in the psycho-social development and growth of the child. In the name of discipline, too many restrictions are imposed on them. They need to be given opportunity and freedom to develop self-discipline. Every child is unique, so parents cant rear the child 100 percent according to their expectation. Indirectly or directly parents characteristics and behaviour influence the parenting style and child-rearing practices. Every one of us of would have crossed the discipline process as a child from our parents and each one of us is going

to be a parent one of these days. The first question is: Does my child need disciplining? If yes, in what aspects? What are the healthy measures/ effective methods one should adopt? Finally, the method which suits the nature of the child should be employed and not what the parents know. Need for disciplining 1.To develop good manners, healthy habits. 2.To prevent deviant behaviours. 3.To prevent drug use, alcohol use. 4.To develop moral values. 5.To learn life-skills. 6.To learn survival skills in the competitive world. Agents of disciplining Both parents with equal responsibilities. Teachers. Friends/ peer group. Society. Human rights and rights of children Human rights apply to all age groups; children have the same general human rights as adults. But children are

* E.Sinu, M.SW., M.Phil., Ph.D Scholar, Dept of Psychiatric Social Work, NIMHANS, Bangalore-29 **Dr.V. Indiramma., M.S.W., Ph.D., Assistant professor, Dept of Psychiatric Social Work, NIMHANS,Bangalore-29

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particularly vulnerable and so they also have particular rights that recognize their special need for protection. A child means every human being below the age of 18 years. Basic rights of children The child shall be registered immediately after birth and have the right to a name, a nationality and to preserve his or her identity. A child shall not be separated from his or her parents against their will. The child who is capable of forming his or her own views has the right to express those views and the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion. No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy or to unlawful attacks on his or her honour and reputation. The disabled child has the right to special care and the right to enjoy a full and decent life in conditions which ensure dignity. All children have the right to highest attainable standard of health including access to primary health care, nutritious foods and clean drinking-water. (Courtesy; UNICEF)

Right to live: Every child has the right to a decent standard of living, which is adequate for her/his physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development. Every child has the inherent right to life, survival and Journal of SCHOOL SOCIAL WORK 24

development. Right to food. Right to Shelter. Right to play. Right to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child should be provided. Right to education. Right to childhood. In all actions concerning children the best interests of the child shall be a primary consideration. Right to opportunities. Right to get help from elders. Right to be protected from all forms of sexual exploitation and sexual abuse. No child should be subjected to torture or degrading treatment nor be deprived of his or her liberty unlawfully. Right to be heard. Right to a clean, peaceful world. Right to get guidance from elders Right to get help from elders. Right to be treated equally, irrespective of caste, creed, religion. Right to speak ones own language. Right to practice ones own religion. Right to be listened to. Right to alternate care. Alternative care for a child, according to the best interests of the child, when he/ June 2007

she is deprived of his or her family environment is to be provided. Knowing rights of the child is the first step in disciplining the child. You would also come to know what is your limit, boundary, areas where you can exercise disciplinary control on your child. Actually knowing their rights would guide you to disciplining in its best form. Unhealthy disciplining Physical abuse: Beating the child. Blaming. Coercion. Controlling. Humiliating. Over protection. Over involvement. Comparison with other children. Neglecting, nagging. Scolding, criticizing. Punishment. Healthy way of disciplining There is no single right way to discipline. A technique that is successful in one situation may not work in another. Parent need to first understand that different children respond to different ways of disciplining methods. When there are two children in a family, each child responds in a different manner according to his/her attitude to the same parent. Establish a structured routine.

Be consistent in your disciplinary measures. Make the child understand what is right and what is wrong. Highlight the childs achievement to boost his/her self-esteem. Avoid criticizing your child in front of others. Good manners moral values can be fostered by story telling. Set limits reasonably. Give clear instructions. Provide supportive presence. Be a good role model to your child. Children learn most things from their parents by imitating. Most parents exercise disciplinary measures to their children in order to cultivate good manners in them. If you have any bad habits and you display in front them there is a high risk for your child to develop the habit of smoking. Reinforce your child by rewards, verbal appreciation first for doing good things and also for not doing undesirable things. Always use/ give positive strokes. Use your words carefully to teach children. Focus on what to do rather than what not to do. Try saying: Slow down and walk instead of Stop running. Come hold my hand is a better alternative for Dont touch anything. June 2007 25

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Give opportunities to improve their potential by learning through making mistakes/ not by doing mistakes. Allow the child to dismantle toys and then help him in reassembling. Some more techniques Time out Time out is removal or isolation of a child for a few minutes when he/ she is misbehaving or out of control. The time out period need not be longer than 5 minutes or they tend to forget the reason for the time out. This technique is ieal for children from 3 years to 12. It gives opportunity to practise the correct behaviour. Ignoring the behaviour Undesirable behaviour, sometimes can be stopped by not paying attention to it. In some situations this can work effectively. Withhold all attention, praise, and support. Eventually, the child quits the unacceptable behavior because it does not bring the desired attention. Redirection Most often, parents think that the child is problematic. But, the problem is not what the child is doing, but the way he or she is doing it. In that case, redirecting or teaching the child a

different way to do the same thing can be effective. If the child is drawing on books, remove the books and say, Books are not for drawing on. Offer a substitute at the same time and say, If you want to draw, use this paper. If your child is throwing blocks, you can remove the blocks and offer a ball to throw. Play method Allow enough time for your children to play outside because that will help them in learning self-discipline and rules of fair play. Playing with other children helps a child learns social skills like sharing, taking turns and cooperating with each other and with adults. Ultimately this is what you expect your child to develop through your own method of disciplining. When following oral instructions/ advice, there is no scope for full involvement of the child. However, when playing children fully involve themselvesand thats the power of play. Conclusion Disciplining children is quite challenging that requires patience and a lot of practice from parents side.

Focus

The Shame Game

Reference: Masud Hoghughi and Nicholas Long (2004): Handbook of Parenting; Theory and Research for Practice, First edition. Sage publications, New Delhi. Sheilla Riddall Leech (2006):, Child Minding, Heinemann publications, London.

Dr Padmini N* well developed and they can use it Introduction A disciplined child is considered as a against us too. Shame feather in the cap of parents. They do all they can to correct the so-called Shame is a painful emotion brought unacceptable behaviour (seen from on by conscious guilt, disgrace or adults view point) by all the means shortcoming. Parental disapproval they can adopt. Some parents use may also be added to this list. One incentives of intrinsic and extrinsic can notice how the child retracts his values. Some use deterrents. In steps if he feels that his act had earned simple terms, the incentives could well the disapproval of the elders around. be a pat on the back, a timely praise/ Not a word said, and no puckering of appreciation or some goodies. Mostly face but a look in his direction is inexpensive ones would do. But if the sufficient. That is the magic of behaviour expected calls for sacrifices emotional connectivity. Role in discipline on the part of the child, then expense should not be a major constraint. In The child learns to watch out for the other words, either monetary or displeasure in parents face in emotional leverages are used for response to his/ her behaviour. The correcting the behaviour of children. wince or frown tells the child that parents do not accept the behaviour. Emotional leverage One of the most powerful emotions that It is the withdrawal of the parents children learn to experience and use emotional connectivity (in simple early in life is the feeling of shame. words, the fear of rejection) that jolts Whether we are aware of it or not, we the child to the core. It is startling and parents start to use our childrens the child expresses the surprise in his feelings of shame or embarrassment face. Caring parents make their point as a tool in managing their behaviour. of disapproval plain and reconnect This is for children from age two to emotionally with the child. The twelve years. Before two, shame uncaring and immature ones prolong doesnt really exist. After 12, their the agony by being silent or know-how to cover up their shame is sulkywithout clearly indicating what irks
*Dr Padmini N MA M Phil Dip Ed PhD, Former professor, Dept. of Economics, Meenakshi College for Women, Chennai and Associate Editor of Journal of School Social Work.

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