Sermon preached at The Church of the Holy Trinity, Rittenhouse Square, Philadelphia, Sunday June 9th 2013 The

Reverend Alan Neale. The Crucible of Vulnerability Galatians 1:23 They only heard the report: The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy. Dr. Brene Brown poses the question: What is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing Im willing to show you. In you, its courage and daring. In me, its weakness. Her answer, Vulnerability. I believe we know, we experience, we are assured of the power of vulnerability. This past Friday I sat for the first time with a person I barely knew. As our conversation proceeded so we tentatively, appropriately spoke of areas of pain; we became vulnerable. My companion then shared with me a most horrific story from her youth. She trusted me with her vulnerability; our relationship is changed forever. From some cursory reading it seems that Dr. Brown has become the apostle of vulnerability. She is the author of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead, a #1 NYT bestseller; it was named one of the ten best business books of 2012. It seems to me that anyone in touch with, even on the boundaries of, a faith community feels some deep, profound, psychic resonance as vulnerability is mentioned. There is, maybe, an inarticulate sense that this is somehow at the core of our faith but you notice how circumspect, chary, cautious and guarded I am maybe and somehow. St. Paul writes in his second Letter to the Corinthians (12:9) 9 And the Lord has said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Paul discovered that the more he was openly vulnerable and declared his weaknesses, the more he uncovered his psychic wounds the more cosmic, divine power rested upon and within him. Our text for today speaks all too briefly of a crucial time in the early churchs history when the future of her mission was in the balance if Paul, if the church community, was not willing to embrace vulnerability then the mission to the Gentiles would, it seems, have been lost. Clearly Paul adopted, assumed, espoused vulnerability. This was the man who had once, by his own admission, was (in the Message Translation) all out in persecuting Gods church was systematically destroying it (Galatians 1:13). He now came to that very same church, turned around 180 degrees, and looked for their welcome, support and commitment. Imagine how that could have turned out! Here is the crucible of vulnerability in which the mettle of our grace is being well tested. And clearly the early Church adopted, assumed, espoused vulnerability. In Acts 9 Ananias, a Christian, is told by God to visit Paul. Ananias, poor soul, rightly brooks at this command but but but (verse 13)Lord, Ananias answered, I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. Doubtless for many of the church (for example the communities in Corinth and Galatia) the vote was still out as regards the authenticity of Pauls conversion and the wisdom of his incorporation into the church and that not only as a member but as a leader. Here is the crucible of vulnerability in which the mettle of our grace is being well tested. Dr. Brown argues well that we develop, and I would say from an early age, defenses against vulnerability. Indeed from an incredibly age do we learn the perils of vulnerability as we expelled from a warm and secure womb, sometimes violently, into a world glaring with light and resounding with noise. She lists as our armor against vulnerability perfectionism, intellectualizing, cynicism, numbing control. Ah control! More deeply, more often, I realize that the conflict and exhaustion caused by control is rarely due to control at all. We sense that to love and to be loved inevitably involves vulnerability and this

inevitability of vulnerability we are rarely able to confront and so we rush to control ineptly, inappropriate and sometimes simply inanely. I have been more convinced, and share in pre-marital counseling, that inevitable battles about control are not really about control at all. As we learn to love and to be loved, we have to become vulnerable but we want also to be in control and this plays out in relationships at home, at work, within ourselves and would you believe it, even in church! Perfectionism, Dr. Browne, describes, as a twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us when in fact its the thing that is really preventing us from being seen. I imagine Paul vigorously nodding his head in agreement for he surely was a perfectionist and proud of it, perfectly proud of it! (Galatians 1:14) I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers. You get the picture, yes? Now Paul did not enter into this arena lightly, thoughtlessly he spent that mysterious three years of reflection in the desert places of Arabia, he took counsel with two men who became trusted friends and then, only then, did he move into the profound arena of vulnerability. He even refused to engage in the obnoxious practice of name-dropping (which her Majesty once told me is an horrid thing!),he refused to pretend, to name leadership of the church as his authority. This sermon was truly no easy birth and I have come to recognize that this theme is at the core of my pastoral ministry and personal spiritual journey the inevitability of vulnerability. We can all admit, confess, own that accepting vulnerability as the way of the spirit is no easy thing. In our first lesson the woman of Zarephath becomes vulnerable as she rants and rages against the Lord and accuses Elijah, and therefore the Lord, of patently unfair and unjust behaviour. But that vulnerability leads to power and healing. After the cacophonous orchestra of emergency vehicles speeding through Center City this week I learn, as you did, of the building collapse at 22nd & Market. I dare to hope and pray that none will die the prayer is not answered and so I am left with the choice of finding reasonable answers to this dilemma or making a complaint to the sovereign Lord, vulnerable though it feels, really feels. In 2007 after six weeks in an alcohol rehab I returned to this parish I was vulnerable, my wife Wendy was vulnerable but we carried that vulnerability into this church. And as we returned so, of course, was this parish vulnerable would I relapse, what would healthy sobriety and recovery look like for me and for us all. Thank God for our common commitment to vulnerability that has led, day by day, to a growing wholeness and vitality. Today is Pride Sunday; a day of celebration but also some vulnerability for the LGBTQ community. I have heard so often of the experience of vulnerability as a gay person comes out before family and friends and colleagues but then of the sense of freedom, liberation, healing and integration. I am proud to be part of a church (globally, nationally and locally) that has respected the courage of such vulnerability and does what it can to support the vulnerable. To want to love, to want to be loved, incurs vulnerability it cannot be avoided, it must not be avoided. John 3:16 God so loved that He gave.
[From todays Gospel (Luke 7, verse 13) When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, Do not cry. And there begins, yet again, the journey of vulnerability a journey that will end in desertion, vilification, humiliation and the Cross. But the way of the Cross is the way of life, the way of vulnerability is the way of life.]

I read that in military and business planning there is something called the WoV the window of vulnerability; that no matter how fine the plan, how considered the strategy there will (almost inevitably) be one or more WoVs. In our relationships, in our work, in our dreams, in our faith we will confront these windows of vulnerability without them or avoiding them will lead to profound loss. I need, we need, the strength of the Lord (His presence, His word, His community) to give me courage and, to use words of Theodore Roosevelt, to dare greatly.

For us these windows of vulnerability, acts of potent grace, are thankfully not constant though doubtless as we mature and grow in the spiritual life they will occur more and more. For Jesus, his whole life (from birth to death) was a window of vulnerability for us. Thanks be to God. Amen