PEER COUNSELING Session 1: CALLED TO CARE: SHARING CHRIST THROUGH A CARING CHURCH A friend is loving at all times, and

and become s a brother in times of trouble (Proverbs 17:17) In good times, in bad times, Ill be on your side forevermore, thats what friends are for. Friendship, when developed into a loving and supporting community, can become an effective place for the ministry of caring in our churches and communities. Earliest Christian community was over-the top hospitality and care shown not only among the believers but also to non-believers. Why should the church care? o o Jesus exemplified kindness in His ministry. It makes the church relevant and responsive to the needs of the times. When people come to our church, they bring with them a lot of baggage, which are fruits of wrong choices and decisions in life.

Our various conscious and unconscious responses: o o o Deny or ignore that problems exists. Accept with toleration. Put up reformatory centers and implement stern church disciplines in the form of threat and fear Become catalyst for change.

Hebrews 10:24-25 o And let us consider one another to provoke to love and to do good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

SESSION 2: CAN I BE A COUNSELOR?

Getting started: Pick a choice and give 2 reasons why you chose such. If you received a call from someone outside your family at 3:00AM because of a deep personal problem, who would you call for help? a) Pastor b) Professional counselor c) My friend: _______ d) Someone who has the same problem e) Someone who dont know me

Lets learn together: 1. Friends as counselors a. A ______________ is loving at all times, and become a brother in times of ________- (Prov 17:17) b. Wise ________ make you wise, but you hurt yourself by going around with ________( Proverbs 13:20 CEV) c. Some ________ dont help, but a true friend is closer that you own ________ (Prov 18:24 CEV) d. A ________ you cant trust in times of trouble is like having a ________ or a ________ (Prov. 25:19) e. Dont desert an old ________ of your family or visit your relatives when you are in trouble. A friend nearby is better than ________ far away (Prov 27:10) 2. Made for each other. a. finally, all of you should agree and have ________ and ________ for each other. You should also be kind and humble. (1 Pet. 3:8) b. They ________ the believers and ________ them to remain true to the faith. We must pass through many troubles to enter the Kingdom of God. c. ________ to one another with the words of psalms, hymns, and sacred songs; sing hymns and psalms to the Lord with praise in your hearts (Eph 5:19)

3. Jobs friends. a. Group 1: Job 4:1-7 b. Group 2: Job 8:1-8 c. Group 3: Job 11:1-20 Have each group read assigned passage and create a contemporary scenario based on the section. Choose someone from the group who will act as one of Jobs friends and another member as Job. Allow Job to make spontaneous responses to the accusations and reprimands of his friends.

While listening to the conversation between Job and his friends, take note of the following: 1. How did Jobs friends understand his sufferings? 2. How were they able/not able to lighten Jobs burdens? 3. How did Job react to his friends accusations? 4. If you were in Jobs place, what do you want to hear from your friends?

Despite their good intentions, Jobs reactions revealed that they did more harm than good. Job 9:21 I am not guilty, but I no longer care what happens to me Job 12:5 Its easy to condemn those who are suffering, when you have no troubles Job 12:17 God destroys counselors, turns judges into fools Job 16:2 I have often heard this, and it offers no comfort Job 17:12 But all my friends can do is offer empty hopes Job 19:2 How long will you torture me with your words?

Jobs responses indicate: anger, defensiveness, desperation and sense of hopelessness.

Prov. 25:11 The right words at the right time is like precious gold set in silver.

PROCESSING: Are you ready to extend your ministry of caring and encouragement to your troubled peer? Fortify yourself. The ministry of caring and encouragement can be nurtured and enhanced.

SESSION 3: WHO NEEDS COUNSELING?

Intro: Give one word that describes your entire week. Did anyone think of consulting somebody about his/her situation?

Exercise: Identify whether the following situation is an instance of STRESS or CRISIS: __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ a) Being late to an important appointment due to a traffic jam. b) Great possibility of being dropped from medical school due to a failed subject c) Being fired from work d) Beating deadlines e) Chronic headaches which make you unproductive f) Unexpected death of a parent g) Divorce or separation h) Short on budget for the week i) Long line to a grocery counter j) pregnancy

WORDS OFTEN ENCOUNTERED DURING THE WORKSHOP

Stress

Counseling Attempt to provide encouragement and guidance for those who are facing losses, decisions, or disappointment. Everyday annoyances we experience from the time we wake up in the morning until we retire at night. It is characterized

Burn out Depression

Crisis

by over-involvement A deep sense of discouragement due to prolonged stress. If is characterized by withdrawal, a loss of meaning and hope. A normal response to many of lifes stresses. The person may feel sad, hopeless, pessimistic, and passive. Intense and prolonged depression however needs medical or psychological help. Crucial time Turning Point. These are a life event that threaten our sense of securing, hinder us from achieving our goals, and brings dissatisfaction and high levels of frustration due to loss of loved ones, job, and wellness.

Psalm 199:67, 71 Before I was in trouble I went out of the way; but now I keep your word. It is good for me to have been through trouble; so that I might come to the knowledge of your rules.

A Person in Crisis: a) shows symptom of stress as loss of appetite, disturbed sleep, ulcers, irritation and withdrawal from people. b) Manifests an attitude of panic and defeat. Theres nothing else that I can do c) Have a fixation of getting relief; cannot deal with the problem in a rational way, his decision and actions sometimes worsen the situation; d) Has lowered efficiency

WORKSHOP: Choose 2 situations which may be considered as crises and identify the arising problems. Fill out the chart:

CRISIS SITUATION

POSSIBLE SCENARIO

ASSIGNMENT / PERSONAL SHARING Recall a recent crisis in your own life and identify the following: a) What were your initial reaction or feelings? b) What caused the crisis? c) How did you face the crisis? d) What/who helped you go through your crisis?

HELPFUL TIPS: Problem situations that are often confided to friends: 1. Relational difficulties and conflicts 2. Marital infidelity 3. Financial difficulties 4. Work/school related 5. Personal distress such as loneliness, depression, boredom, serious physical and medical conditions, worry, etc. 6. Personal struggles as homosexuality, sinful lifestyle, identify crisis, low selfesteem, addiction, etc.

SESSION 3: HOW CAN I HELP?

Exercise: choose 5 characteristics from the list. Makes the person desirable: Loving Tender Good understanding peaceful committed happy always cool self-controlled

Makes the person undesirable: Vulgar Jealous indecent angry ungodly selfish

Troublesome

argumentative

drunk

Very important in counseling is the counselor himself the credibility. Degree of his character, warmth, and sincerity.

Learning Together: 1. To whom do you turn for help? a. To someone you _________ b. To someone you _________ c. To someone you _________ d. To someone you _________ e. To someone you feel is _________ f. To someone who knows _________ 2. Negative attitudes to avoid: a. Being judgmental b. Partiality c. Being critical d. Gossiping 3. Positive attitudes to cultivate: a. Trust b. Sincerity c. Having a peaceful nature d. Full of mercy e. Believes in second chances

WORKSHOP

In the chart below, identify the negative attitude to avoid and the positive attitude to develop in each situation.

Counselee a. Joseph lost his job due to several absences, tardiness, and failure to deliver results b. Wirma ran away from home because her husband was irresponsible and abusive c. Lory, single, was disowned by her parents when they found out she got pregnant by a married man. d. Mrs. Santos has given up on his son, a high school drop out, a trouble maker and hooked on drugs. HELPFUL TIPS: 1. Counsel with wisdom

Negative attitude/approach

Positive attitude/approach

2. Take one step at a time. Never expect that after one hour of talking and counseling with your friends, all problems are gone. Problems develop through time due to bad choices, unhealthy lifestyle, poor judgement, bad influence, sinful desires, and other factors. In the same manner, counseling is a process, not a quick fix shop. 3. Learn to KEEP SECRETS! Counselor should take extra care and precaution not to put the person in crisis into a situation that will cause more hurt and damage to people and the community.