A WOMANS WRITE

NEWSLETTER FOR BETWEEN FRIENDS SUMMER 2012: VOL. 14, ISSUE 2

Two teens perform scenes from the plays they created about the issue of dating violence at the Love Not Hate theater event.

Celebrating 25 Years of Building a Community Without Domestic Violence

SPEAKING OUT FOR LOVE, NOT HATE

On Saturday February 18th in recognition of Teen Dating Violence (TDV) Awareness Month, we invited youth from all over Chicago to unite their voices and help educate others in an evening of original live performance, entitled Love Not Hate: Building Relationships Without Abuse. The event was held at Center on Halsted and the participating groups included Roger C. Sullivan High School, Better Boys Foundation, Schurz High School, and 808s: Youth Empowerment Through Dance. The evening featured original plays, dance routines, and musical numbers written, directed, and performed entirely by youth. Themes that were incorporated included the warning signs of an abusive relationship, the cycle of abuse within a relationship, and how to develop healthier relationships. The theater was packed to capacity; with standing room only in the 160-seat theater. Selina Cudia, a 16 year old student participant said about the event, So many times we are talked at about relationships and not talked with. I like how people of all ages came out to support talking with us about good relationships.
The group, 808s: Youth Empowerment Through Dance, enthusiastically perform for the crowd at the Love Not Hate theater event. To see more photos visit: www.facebook.com/ BetweenFriendsREACH.

OUR MOST SUCCESSFUL EVENT EVER!

On March 10, 2012, Between Friends hosted its annual fundraiser, Bubble Ball, at the beautiful River East Art Center. Hosts Marion Brooks of NBC5 and legendary Chicago radio DJ Catherine Johns pumped up the crowd, helping us raise over $135,000. This year, Between Friends honored Judge Grace Dickler with the Friend of the Year Award for her dedication to protecting domestic violence survivors through the legal system. During the event, there was no shortage of excitement. Art-rock performance artist Elliott
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From of Art Beat Live provided live entertainment with his energizing performance set to classic rock music, creating a series of Chicagocentric paintings that were sold off in a live auction. Perhaps the most enjoyable part of the evening was mingling with the wonderful guests who savored delicious cupcakes from Big City Cakes, posed in the pop-up photo booth, and danced up a storm to an array of music from DJ Dustin of Toast & Jam. To everyone who participated: thank you! (See pictures on page 6).

THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTORS CORNER

Dear Friends, As many of you know, Between Friends has been a leader since 1995 in the prevention of intimate partner violence through our teen dating violence prevention programRelationship Education: A Choice for Hope (REACH). Of the youth that we work with, more than half have been abused by a dating partner by the time they reach eleventh grade. While our long-term goal is to effect sustained changes in the prevalence of dating violence, our short-term goal is to make sure that youth and adults are educated about dating violence and informed about how to prevent it. I am excited to report that over the past 2 years we have received amazing support from current foundation and corporate donors who increased their commitment to our prevention efforts while we have also welcomed a number of new foundation partners. In addition, with the help of a long-standing major donor who strongly believes in our work with youth, we have garnered increased attention and support from new individual donors. These combined efforts have enabled us to hire 3 additional Prevention & Education Specialists before school starts this year! In addition to this great news, Between Friends was awarded the Chicago Dating Matters Initiative (CDMI) grant from the Chicago Department of Public Health. This 5-year grant is made possible through a partnership with the CDC's Division of Violence Prevention and is intended to implement a new initiative, Dating Matters: Strategies to Promote Healthy Teen Relationships. Dating Matters aims to promote respectful, nonviolent dating relationships among youth in high-risk, urban communities. This CDMI grant will allow us to add another Prevention & Education Specialist creating a total of 3 male/ female teams providing an array of prevention programming to youth, teachers and parents throughout Chicago this year. Since each team can work with approximately 2,500 youth and adults throughout the school year, which will triple our impact! Kathleen A. Doherty Executive Director

ART AGAINST ABUSE

Violence, especially against women, is prevalent in music, art and pop culture. To encourage creative ways to address these issues and counterbalance the negative messages that teens encounter in their day-to-day lives we hosted Art Against Abuse: Engaging Youth to End the Cycle of Violence. It was a free professional training held at the Jane Addams College of Social Work at UIC and attended by almost 100 counselors, social workers, and adults who work with teens experiencing violence in their lives. A variety of art forms were presented by the facilitating organizations, each with their own method on how to educate youth about violence. A Long Walk Home used poster art and other forms of multimedia to talk to youth about building healthy relationships, Puppeteers Without Borders addressed individual conflict and violence through the creation and play of puppets, and Between Friends taught how to reclaim ones story through altered book art. Additionally, Project NIA used poetry as a means to boost selfconfidence in young women and the Neighborhood Writing Alliance taught the expression of emotion and experiences through creative writing. One attendee commented, Not only did I release emotion, but I was able to get a sense of how to bring this to my group.

Attendees at the Art Against Abuse training seminar learn how to create therapeutic puppets.

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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A COURT ADVOCATE

Put yourself in the shoes of a client who would visit our Court Advocate. Yesterday your husband came home in a rage. He comes after you and slaps you across the face. You notice out of the corner of your eye that your two children are watchingparalyzed with fear. Today you wake up and realize you cant live in terror anymore and you decide now is the time to call Between Friends. You are connected to a Court Advocate and take the first step towards living in a safer home. Every day our Court Advocates work with survivors who are scared about what their abuser will do next, yet they work with diligence, compassion, and tenacity. Here is how Victoria and Maria typically spend their day as Court Advocates in the Rolling Meadows courthouse. 8:45amThree clients are expected to return to court to receive a Plenary Order of Protection (POP), which will legally protect them from their abuser for 2 years. This is their second visit to the courthouse; during their first visit, the Court Advocates helped them fill out the paperwork necessary to receive an Emergency Order of Protection (EOP), which lasts 21 days. Two of them have arrived already and our advocates ask how their abusers have responded to the EOP. One abuser is not at the courthouse, making it easier for the POP to be granted. The other abuser is upset about the EOP and plans to protest in court. Unfortunately, one client doesnt return. 9:00amMaria, Victoria, and their clients go to the courtroom to wait for their cases to be called. 10:10amThe first client is called. Since her abuser is not there, she breathes a sigh of relief. It is still intimidating for her to tell her story to a judge in a room full of strangers, but Victoria is at her side and offers words of encouragement. The judge grants the POP. 10:35amThe second client is called and nervously approaches the bench. Her abuser is present and tells his version of the events, hoping to prevent the POP from being granted. The client is intimidated, but Maria supports her throughout his testimony. The judge asks her questions about the severity and frequency of her abuse. The client musters the courage to tell her story and based on her brave testimony the judge grants the client a two year POP. 11:00amVictoria and Maria return to the office. They call clients to remind them of court appointments for the next day and follow up with recent clients to ensure that their abuser is respecting the boundaries set by their orders of protection. 11:30amA client walks into the room and explains to Victoria that she is interested in getting an order of protection against her boyfriend. Victoria leads her to her desk where they begin the process of filling out the forms. It takes about three hours to explain the process of obtaining an order of protection, listen to the womans story and fill out the documents. The client must retell the abuse that led her to seek an order of protection. The process brings up memories, and Victoria is supportive as the woman becomes emotional.

WHAT IS AN ORDER OF PROTECTION (OP)?

An OP is a written court order, signed by a judge, which requires an abusive household or family member (including someone in a dating relationship) to do or not do certain things. It can order an abuser to stay away completely, to stop all abusive behavior while allowing contact, and/or it can order an abuser to leave the household for the duration of the OP. It can protect you and other household members.

HOW LONG WILL THE OP LAST?

An Emergency Order of Protection (EOP) lasts up to 21 days. During the 21 days, law enforcement will attempt to serve the abuser with the order. At the next court date, a judge can grant a Plenary Order of Protection (POP) that can last up to two years.

11:40amAnother client walks in and Maria begins to help her with the process of filing for an order of protection. 1:00pmA potential client walks in requesting help with an order of protection. However, both Court Advocates are already assisting clients, and will be for another hour. They give her a packet of information detailing her rights and options which she will use to fill out the forms on her own. Potential clients are often turned away due to lack of staffing. (Continued on page 4.)

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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A COURT ADVOCATE (continued)

2:00pmBoth Court Advocates are finishing with their clients. Once all the paperwork is completed they must wait for a judge to hear the petition. If the petition is granted, their client will have an emergency three week order of protection. 3:20pmCourt Advocates check to see if last weeks orders of protection have been served to the abusers. This information is crucial, as it alerts the Court Advocates and their clients of whether the abuser knows that they have been reported. Since a sheriff must serve the order of protection, it can take a bit of time. If an order has not yet been served, Court Advocates will work with the sheriff to push it through. The work that our Court Advocates do on a daily basis is tough, but it is through their hard work and dedication that hundreds of survivors are granted legal protection from their abusers each year.

HONORING ONE OF OUR OWN

On March 22nd, Between Friends Executive Director, Kathy Doherty, was honored at The Chicago Metropolitan Battered Womens Network Chicago Chefs Spring Into Action benefit. She received the Community Advocate Award for her longtime dedication to breaking the cycle of violence in our communities with her work and leadership at Between Friends, as well as her participation in other domestic violence councils statewide. Kathys continual support of domestic violence awareness and advocacy is an inspiration to us all.

FB + TWITTER
Follow us on Twitter at @ Between_Friends and like us on Facebook at www.facebook. com/BetweenFriendsChicago.

FREEDOM FUND
Support survivors of domestic abuse in maintaining their independence by donating to the Freedom Fund! The fund provides assistance to clients for short-term financial needs, such as a security deposit for an apartment, transportation costs, and legal fees. To donate visit: www. betweenfriendschicago.org.

Kathy Doherty, the Executive Director of Between Friends, accepts the Community Advocate Award for her tireless work on behalf of survivors.

HAMBINGO
Between Friends helped shake off the April showers by hosting HamBingo at Andersonvilles favorite burger joint, Hamburger Marys. On the night of May 7th, we teamed up with the fabulous Ms. Velicity Metropolis to play drag queen bingo and have a great night! Donated from all over the city, prizes included gift certificates from Tulip Boutique, Salted Caramel, Women and Children First bookstore, and more.
Our Prevention and Education Manager, Colleen Norton, celebrates her win with Velicity Metropolis at HamBingo.

Watch out, Hamburger Marys, well definitely be back for more!

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DONATIONS (12/2/115/4/12)
FOUNDATION AND CORPORATION SUPPORT
$10,000 and above Alphawood Foundation Anonymous Irving Harris Foundation New Control Direct Marketing Pierce Family Charitable Foundation Ravenswood Health Care Foundation VNA Foundation $2,500 to $9,999 Anonymous Balasa Dinverno Foltz Benjamin B. Green-Field Foundation Citadel Foundation Illinois State Bar Association Illinois Tool Works Foundation Jacob Best Foundation Jenner & Block Peoples Gas Pierce & Associates S&C Foundation Saint Francis Hospital Stout Risius Ross $1,000 to $2,499 American Agricultural Insurance Company Ariel Investments Azko Nobel Bank Financial Brigite Schmidt Bell, PC Cubs Care First Congregational Church of Wilmette First Presbyterian Church Fusion 92 Geneva Investment HNTB Corporation Pure Insurance Reznick Group UBS Financial United Stationers Charitable Foundation Winnetka-Northfield Rotary Club

$999 and under

Center for Neighborhood Technology Marineau Family Foundation Rosenfeld Hafron Shapiro & Farmer Fourth Presbyterian Church

INDIVIDUALS
$25,000 and up Carl Greer Rocco & Roxanne Martino $1,000 to $24,999 Bonnie Chan Kathleen Doherty Andrea France Beth McCormack Kathleen Nadler Katherine Raynal Christy Roberts Fran Krasnow & Seth Pines $500 to $999 Lisa Carter Robert & Nancy Duffy Nancy Freeman Timothy Glaude Patricia Locke Elise & Ron Magers John & Kathleen Roeser Sharon Sachse
2013 BOARD OF DIRECTORS: Christopher Corona, President Lisa Carter, Vice President Timothy Glaude, Treasurer Brenda Moller, Secretary Anita Bishop Nancy Bonner Alison Clarke Dana Damyen Oksanna Malan Anne Ray Christine Wyrick NEWSLETTER: Mollie Anderson, Editor Design Courtesy of Cristyn Hypnar

$250 to $499 Elizabeth Arnold Julie Bartlett Lynda & James Bell Dana Damyen Barbara & Terry Ferrari Howard & Joyce Hayward Lauren & Bob Hoffman Sheila & Robert Hulseman Dawn Lawrence Stacy Lerner David & Deborah MacKenzie Yesenia & Jose Maldonado Glen Mangold Vida Marks Barbara Niehus James Philips Barbara Posner Jean Rothbarth Maggie Weiss Julie & Chris Wisbrock

STAFF: Mollie Anderson, Grant Writer Natalia Borrero, Prevention & Education Specialist Kathleen Doherty, Executive Director Amanda Espitia, Director of Development and Communications Monica Guzman, Counselor Lee Jacobs Riggs, Counselor Maria Lopez, Court Advocate Yesenia Maldonado, Director of Programs Erin McMillan, Prevention & Education Specialist Caryn Moore, Childrens Counselor Colleen Norton, Prevention & Education Manager Yolanda Owens, Senior Prevention & Education Specialist Paul Robinson, Prevention & Education Specialist Megan Rose, Court Advocacy Coordinator Nancy Toncy, Clinical Supervisor Victoria Piehowski, Court Advocate Carrie Villa, Associate Director

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Guests at the Bubble Ball wined, dined, and danced all while raising thousands of dollars for survivors of domestic violence! It was our most successful event to date, read all about it on page 1.

Photography by Kelly Allison

NEWSLETTER FOR BETWEEN FRIENDS Between Friends P.O. Box 608548 Chicago, IL 60660

CRISIS LINE: 800-603-HELP

OFFICE PHONE: 773-274-5232

www.betweenfriendschicago. org