The Best Days of Your Life Are Over: Now What?

Pomp and Circumstance never sounded as sweet as it did the day I took my steps up to the stage to get my high school diploma. Although I am not quite sure what those words mean, I know they are synonymous with one thing: graduation. As part of the class of 2005, and an incoming freshman this year at MSU, I could not help feeling like high school would never be the best years of my life. In fact, for the most part, high school sucked. College was always the light at the end of the tunnel, something to look forward to. Keeping that in mind, I wanted to see what other incoming freshman had to say. I asked about ten incoming

Natural Disasters Close to Our Home Page 4 Left and Right: Should Intelligent Design Be Taught in Schools? Page 8 October Pull Out Calendar of Events Page 10

Photo by Nicole Livermont Petro and Rimrock Halls provide a home where students can adjust together.

freshman how they felt, and it was classes are not as early. Freshman all basically the same. They like also like how classes are arranged, the fact that there is a freedom of We get to pick classes we actuSee Now What? page 3 choice here, everyone is nice, and

Hurricanes Wash Relief Away

Fall Fashion: Whats Hot and Not Page 13

Sexy Man on Man Action Page 19

the hurricane. Governor You do not always appreciate Schweitzer has been in Helena what you have until its gone. working on the Water CollecPeople never think about losing tion Drive by their conveniences filling up a large while going helicopter with through their daily supplies destined lives. America for the disaster artakes for granted eas. the easy life and Wa l - m a r t , amenities that Albertsons, and come with being a Sears, along with part of a powerful other local stores and up- to-date naand banks have tion. Even with the not only put jars national disasters out for contributhat face every part tions but many of our country, have donated there is no fear that their own stock one day everything and supplies, could just be gone. along with asking As hurricanes buyers to contribhave been a consisute a dollar or tent national devasmore when purtation, especially chasing. Sears within the Southand Kmart, who eastern part of the country, no one exPhoto courtesy of www.quehubo.com/eng/katrina_gallery_2.php have partnered with the Ameripected the amount Hurricane Katrina as seen from space. of wreckage that happened in Louisiana. Stu- can Red Cross, are matching any donation, givdents and residents in Billings are no excep- ing free auto service to victims and also includtion in the large amount of participation in help- ing apparel, supplies and products to the vicSee Relief page 4 ing out those who suffered great losses from

H o w M S U - B Ta k e s O n D i s a s t e r

Theres No Place Like Home

1500 University Drive SUB 225
Billings, Mont an a 59101 Montan ana Business and Newsr oom: 406-657-2194 Newsroom: Fax: 406-657-2191 .edu E-mail: ret or t@msubillings t@msubillings.edu retor ort@msubillings
Although some of those who were born and raised here in the Big Sky country might dispute this statement, after spending 19 of my almost 28 years here, Im claiming Montana as home; even if she wont claim me in return. Ill even take it a step further; I consider myself to be from Montana, too. After the recent barrage of hurricanes in the Gulf Coast and the tremendous losses of the victims, many Americans are no doubt asking themselves what home means to them. For me this introspection view of a surrealistic skyline with the Pryors to the south and the Beartooths to the west, as visible through an unburdened-bybuildings horizon. Here in MSUBs own backyard rise the majestic rimrocks (have you ever noticed the gang of hawks swooping, diving and soaring among the cliffs and watched as their shadows chase them across the blue, painting the rock face with their sky ballet?). We live in a city where you can drive from one end to the other in less than a half hour. When patronizing a local business the clerks will greet you jovially and behave as though they are excited to help you. We are blessed to be able to drink water directly from our faucets. We have an affordable cost of living and more than a few people (jetsetters and businessmen) have assured me that there is no better standard of living anywhere than right here in the Magic city. Dont get me wrong; I love California. The salty scent of the ocean and its meditative melody of waves crashing and receding, the swelling and slinking of the surf on the sandy shore cannot be discounted or compared. The exotic blooms of the bird of paradise and the trumpet-like rainbow of hibiscus flowers that blanket the scenery are not to be ignored either. And who can

The Retort Staff

Editor in Chief...............Olivia Koernig Business Manager...........Yacine Zerizef Faculty Advisor.............Nancy Swanson Layout Editor................Dana Livermont Ad Manager...........................Niki Porter Copy Editor.............................VACANT News Editor........................Betsy Harris A & E Editor.................Melissa DeVries Sports Editor..........................Jed Barton Photo Editor................Nicole Livermont Creativity Editor....................Beth Kern Reporter......................Emily Valenzuela Reporter.....................................VACANT Reporter.......................................VACANT Photographer...................Matt Langman Staff Writer..........................Paul Jangula Staff Writer........................Tess Hatfield Staff Writer.......................CarlAnderson Staff Writer.................Miranda Breding Cartoonist............................Dan Hansen Columnist.........................Mike Schrage Columnist..........................Lyle Johnson
Guideline & Policies The Retort encourages the sumission of letters to the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length and include name, signature, and phone number. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Retort is published twice a month. Letters must be sumitted by the Friday after the most recnt issue date. The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advises The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opinions expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of its members, the university, students, nor student, state, or federal governments.

Fun at the beach!

was further magnified by my recent travel to California (where I lived for seven years before moving here). I hear a lot of young people complain that Billings offers nothing to do, whining that Billings is behind the times and has no cultural diversity and blah, blah, blah. Please allow me to share my renewed appreciation for this pretty little city in our beautiful state. Driving through the Los Angeles valley, I couldnt help taking constant inventory of the smog and litter and excessive time spent in our rental car. I just kept wondering how someone becomes acclimated to that hyperspeed lifestyle. I mean, its no lie: smog makes for some pretty psychedelic sunsets but it probably contributes to some pretty gnarly tumors as well. I dont know how many times a person has to see a littered landscape before developing immunity and no longer noticing the trash scattered among the grass and bushes. Driving is stressful, dangerous and environmentally hostile. I cant imagine ever getting comfortable with spending upwards of two hours a day behind the wheel. Here in the Yellowstone Valley we have the daily privilege of beholding a panoramic

The editor soaking up some Cali sun.

deny the cheery canopy of the lofty palm trees with their fanning leaves, so different from our own climates deciduous trees and conifers? California offers its own treasures and wonder, which is why its such a great placeto visit. But like the song says, My homes in Montana.

Not All Internships Will Stain Your Dress

as little as peer tutoring in the English department or as massive While many students are as having to student teach for a going to college to prolong the semester in education, but just party days of their high school like our parents subtly kick us out years, meet their future husband/ on our own after high school, the wife, have a great excuse for why university educators are kicking they are broke, or please their us into the real world as our colparents, the obvious reason to go lege days come to an end. to school is to get a good job afOne question is; how can terwards. we manage to find as much as 15It seems like just when we 40 extra hours a week for an inare comfortable with our student ternship when we are all ready status and have settled into the going to school and working school routine with our part-time part-time? The answer for many jobs and our restricted budgets, is that they simply cannot. Mass most of our advisors are telling Communication Major Jessica us we have to do an internship. Zinner will have to quit her partSome students are eager to get time job to do an internship into the real world and give their where 135 hours in a semester newly acquired skills a try, some are required. Consequently, she dont know where they will find will also have to find a paid inthe time, and others are resistant ternship which complicates the to the whole situation. situation further since only about Internships have been part 45 percent of the internships are of the university syspaid. Instead of tem for decades but You are in school trying to find an MSU-Billings wrote internship in the to get out of one of the last federfield she hopes to school and into work ally funded proposin, she is just the real world. als to initiate a new looking for anyinternship program thing that pays. in 1995. It received the grant and Unfortunately, the one she became one of the last schools thought she had just fell through to get funding for an internship so shell have to wait for next seprogram before federal funding mester to begin. Doing an internwas discontinued. ship is certainly not as easy as Not all colleges require in- signing up for a class, but unlike ternships; each department sets Zinner, who has mostly gone it up its own curriculum, but if one alone as far as organizing her insearches through the general ternship, there is help to be had. catalog there is usually some The office of Career Sertype of field experience required vices and Cooperative Education in every department. It may be is an organization set up to help Now What? cont. from page1 ally want. Its awesome- except for all of the reading, says Jenni Bair, a freshman from Senior. Some students, while still glad to be out of high school, take a more sarcastic approach. Luke Larson, high school unknown, stated, I like college a lot more the High School. Not only do I get more homework, but I get to pay for it now. One student, Jessica Hagermeister, talked about how fun it has been to meet new people. I came from a school where my graduating class was 22 people, so it has been so much fun meeting new ones. Some students are not so sure about the whole ordeal. Instead of worrying about what Im going to wear and what Im going to do this weekend, Im more worried about my tuition fee and car payment, says Lindsay English, a freshman from West. Theres a lot more responsibility. I personally have to agree that there is a lot more responsibility. students apply for internships, fix or disprove that youre on the their resumes, learn interview right track with you education. skills, and meet internship quali- In other words, even if you hate fications. They will tell you all your internship, you will learn the wonderful reasons why you something from it, and it could need to complete an internship be an invaluable lesson about and if you are feeling doubtful, which way to point your future. they will remind you that you are Internships allow you to network in school to get out of school and with potential employers, give you some kind of experience to into the real world. When a student does an internship, contracts are essentially drawn up so the students and the employers know exactly what is expected of both of them. Faculty supervisors also participate in the planning so the student Photo by Nicole Livermont can receive some Ashley Downs puts in her internship hours with New type of grade or Student Services. evaluation for the credit they will be receiving upon put on your resume, and often completion. If you need to do an lead to permanent jobs. The botinternship and are trying to go it tom line is that the internship opalone, you might want to save portunity is a win-win situation, yourself some headache and opt even if you hate it! Remember, for the guidance of these people. youre in college to get out and They have ongoing relationships get a job, so if youre putting off with many employers and can your internship, go see your admake your life much easier if you visor or internship coordinator Mandy Sanchez at Career Serlet them. A few students tell horror vices and invest in your future tostories of getting paid $5 an hour day. Career Services has just to stuff envelopes for their internships or that they absolutely moved to the basement of the lihated their internships, but as brary. You can also check out their Patricia Reuss, Director of Ca- website at www.msubillings.edu/ reer Services and Cooperative careers , it has any information you Education will tell you, Intern- could possibly need regarding inships are an ideal way to prove ternships. None of the professors will spoon feed you assignments like they did in high school. Everyone is responsible for getting their homework or reading done. Despite all the differences at college, most people I know are coping well. We are very resilient little freshman, although it is hard to go from top of the top in high school back down to being the little guy again. The blending seems better here, though. No one is singled out for any particular reason and the campus is big enough that you can hide if need be.

Photo by Nicole Livermont Students personalize their rooms to feel at home.

Relief cont. from page 1 tims. The Rimrock Mall, on 24 th Street, is selling t-shirts and donating the money to hurricane relief. We do what we can, no matter how big the difference. The important thing is that there is a difference being made, says Jennifer, a Walmart store clerk. On campus, many student organizations have mobilized student contributions towards the aid and provisions for the victims. Kits for Kindness was put together by the United Campus Ministry Organization headed by Kim Woeste. By collecting supplies there is a guarantee that all of the donations will be going towards the relief shelters. Student senate is another student organization that has been assisting the mobilizing of donations for the relief in the south. I just can not imagine what it would be like to return home to find nothing there. Everything is gone, said Sarah Fry, a student at MSU-Billings. Collections will be going on throughout September and October. Victims in the south are grateful for the contributions of supplies, money and volunteers that have been sent to help.

Hitting a Little Closer to Home:

The Yellowstone Park Caldera

There is something big living right next to us. Most do not even know it is there. But it is there, and it is angry. It is the Yellowstone Park Caldera, and it is a ticking time bomb. Ranging from 28-47 miles across, depending on the area, it is one of the biggest and most active calderas in the world. Caldera just means basin, and this basin was formed when a portion of the land around it collapsed. Under the surface is tons of magmatic heat which is actually the fuel for all of the thermal activity in Yellowstone. Without that heat the geysers, hot pots, and yes, even Old Faithful would not be around. However, this caldera presents a danger The same magma that is making Montana such an interesting place, could eventually blow up and destroy a good chunk of the northwestern United States, including Billings. Of the three eruptions that occurred at Yellowstone, two are thought to have been the biggest ever on earth. The devastation would be felt all over the world. Seismologists are constantly tracking Yellowstone and they have good news. Although there

years ago. The last catastrophic eruption occurred over 600,000 years ago, and there is not another predicted for quite a long time. Even if the activity in Yellowstone did fluctuate, the buildup would be noticed for months, if not years, ahead of time. Although nothing could be done, the park service would notify civilians through their 24 hour communication center. This article is not meant to scare anyone. It is meant to show the power that nature holds over man. Even though we live in Montana, and there is little fear of hurricanes, earthquakes, or more hurricanes, there is still a natural threat that not many people know about. It is also meant to make Yellowstone Park a little less stinky and maybe a little Photo by Nick Dryz more bomb, pun completely intended. Thermal activity at the Yellowstone
Geyser Basin

are 1,000-3,000 earthquakes per For more information, you year, this is completely normal; can track the beast at http:// and there is no difference in the vulcan.wr.usgs.gov/home.html geologic activity now and 30

Library Offers Movies on the Cheap

To those broke college students out there who love to watch movies but cant afford to rent them or are just too lazy to make the extra trip, I have good news for all of you. You all will be happy to know (if you dont already) that since the beginning of summer the ASMSU-Billings (a.k.a. Student Government) Public Relations committee teamed up with the library and donated approximately $300, which was left over from last years student fees, to purchase a variety of movies. They are now available for students to check out for free! I know it may sound too good to be true, but all you need is your student ID and you can check movies out for three days. There is no limit to how many movies can be checked out at one time, however, this privilege should not be taken advantage of. For instance, dont check out 20 movies in one sitting. In other words, students should check them out in moderation. If you accidentally bring them back a day late, dont panic; its only 50 cents per day. This fee is cheap compared to $3 per day that most movie rental stores charge. Besides, nobody can complain about a late fee when youre provided free entertainment initially. as DVDs to suit everybodys needs. For those who dont have access to a VHS or DVD player, keep in mind that the library has two of them (one on 2 nd and 3 rd floor). Occasionally, the movies will be updated depending on available funding. The movies range from horror to action , mystery, drama, romance, comedy, science fiction, and even some for the children. A few of the most recent titles include: Napolean Dynamite, Flight of the Pheonix, Gothika, Collateral, Runaway Jury, Ray, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, The Incredibles, and last but not least, The Notebook (one of my favorites). Not to forget, some of the classics that you cant get enough of, such as Pretty Woman, Saturday Night Fever, The Breakfast Club, Top Gun, and Silence of the Lambs Although, I must warn you ahead of time, dont be surprised if you see any unrated ones. So go to the Temple of Knowledge, make sure to check out the movies and see the selection for yourself. You can view the list on the main library page in the scroll box. Also, you can check the library catalogue to see if a particular title is checked out or not, simply by clicking on advance search. Put the title in, scroll down to the location box, click the arrow and select video. In addition, students input and movie suggestions are encouraged for future reference, which you can also do on the web page. For the most part, being the hard working college students that we are, remember that its good for all of us to take the time (at least once in a great while) to kick back, relax, and get our minds on something else other than homework. I encourage everybody to take the opportunity to enjoy these movies that the library has to offer, because as students, we deserve it. Just as long as you dont get behind on your study time.

Photo by Nicole Livermont Check out the MSU-Billings Librarys collection of movies.

In case you are wondering, the wide selection includes at least 200 VHS as well

Well, well, well. Thieves and underage drunks have run amok on campus! No, just kidding. Ill bet 90 percent of the student body here are respectable, law abiding citizens. Heh, heh, heh. Alright, lets see whats been happening for the past few weeks in the world of crime and debauchery. 9-9 A theft was reported in the West Rimrock parking lot after someone forcibly broke into a car, released the trunk latch and stole two woofers with amps valued at $800. Sorry guy, but this is why I drive a piece of crap car with barely a stereo. Hell, I dont even lock my car up and its never been messed with. Hopefully you get your equipment back, though. 9-12 Another theft occurred out

at the COT when someone stole a picture frame. Again, another lesson: stick with duct tape and youll never go wrong. One could even create a whole duct tape picture frame motif. Who wants to steal duct tape? 9-15 A report was made that someone on campus had drug paraphernalia in their dorm room. Of the two students, one consented to let police search his half of the room, while the other student did not give consent. Officers found nothing in the searchable area. 9-15 MSU-B lost a member of the family when Merle the squirrel decided to end his life. Apparently he wanted to go out with a bang, so he jumped into the transformer located behind the PE building, causing sporadic power failure throughout campus for up to three hours. Un-

fortunately, many of us still had to finish our classes, and to quote one professor, Hey, I gave this lecture for years without PowerPoint. We can do this in the dark. Well miss you, Merle. 9-15 Related to the power failure, a piece of equipment in the COE overheated, but no one was injured. 9-17 An MIP was issued on campus after a student failed to stop at the sign in the Rimrock parking lot. The student was also cited for not having insurance. 9-17 A verbal altercation occurred on Normal Avenue. The situation is still under investigation. 9-18 My, my, my, another MPI. Same story, different day. A heads up for new students, the stop signs located in the Rimrock parking lot are real. The police officers you see

around campus are real police officers. They even carry sidearms, so be aware of those stop signs. 9-18 Oh yeah, another thing, those parking spaces that have a sign with CV on them, you cant park there. Some poor soul learned this the hard way when their car was towed. Okay, so now you know. 9-20 Disorderly conduct in Petro Hall which resulted in an issue of no trespass. 9-23 A fire extinguisher was stolen from the third floor of a campus building. Hey, were no longer in junior high, guys. Well thats going to do it for now. Maybe someone could take on the responsibility of campus streaker for even more exciting Police Blotter news. Until next time, have fun, but dont hurt anyone.

Choosing Chastity: The Abstinence Movement Grows

Abstinence is a growing movement among young people in the United State today. According to the article, posted on freepublic.com, No Tresspassing by Leah Gerchario and Michelle Martinez, the rate of teens having sex in high school dropped from 54 percent to 46 percent from 1991 to 2001. On the leading edge of this movement is the organization True Love Waits, which was started by Dr. Richard Ross, a professor of student ministry at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Arkansas, in 1993. As of 2003, some 1.2 million teens had signed pledge cards that read, Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship. While abstinence and wait for marriage campaigns are gaining popularity among the youth of our nation, legislation for abstinence-only education in high for research on schools impleschool health curriculum is gain- menting the abstinence-only ing media attention. The absti- health program. Results of the nence-only initiative was initially study were initially due in 2003, part of the 1996 welfare law, even but were postponed until 2006 though it appears to be coming to for unspecified reasons. light for the first time in federal But while the federal goveducation legislation. It is ernment sorts out the raw headed by the Health facts, Christian groups and Human Serare willing to exvices committee plain why they in Congress. support abstiWe dont nence before need a study, if marriage as I remember my posted on biology cormembers.aol.com rectly, to show under the title us that those Teen Straight people who are Talk. First of sexually abstiall, the man or nent have zero woman enterGraphic by Nicole Livermont chance of being into a marcoming pregnant or getting some- riage as a virgin has a clear conone pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease, said Wade Horn, assistant secretary of Health and Human Services which is in charge of fedMSU-BILLINGS NEWS eral funding for the abstinence- SERVICE Tom Rust, who only program. teaches History 325, The AmeriIn 2003, Congress included can Military Experience, at Mon$131 million for the program in tana State University-Billings, rethe spending bill for that year. quests volunteers to help transcribe Funds were also set aside in 1996 to a computer interviews that he and his MSU-Billings history and Honors Program students are conducting with World War II veterans. He estimates that each interview would take approximately two-to-four hours to transcribe. The interviews will be kept on permanent file at the MSU-Billings Library, and also will be sent to the Montana Historical Society in Helena and the Library of Congress science and respects hiself or herself. Second, they have a significantly better chance of having a more satisfying and stable marriage. Third, they are likely to have longer lasting relationships: premarital sex brakes up more dating couples than any other factor. And finally, premarital sex increases the likeliness of extramarital affairs. Also, as yet there is statistically no other sure way of preventing the spread of STDs. Even condoms are only 90 percent effective overall according to all.org, arc.org, lifesite.net, and advocatesforyouth.org. For me, says an MSUBillings student. I want to save myself for my future spouse. Not only will I respect myself and her more, I will be my wedding gift.

Transcribers Needed
in Washington, D.C. Last summer, Rusts MSUBillings Honors Program held an institute where a large number of veteran interviews were conducted. This fall semester, an Honors Program seminar is examining the use and consequences of U.S. military power in the 20th century, and will continue to conduct even more interviews with WWII veterans. Rust asks for those who are interested in helping him and his students transcribe the interviews either to contact him by e-mail at trust@msubillings.edu; or to call him at 657-2903 or 657-2201.

What the Board of Regents is Doing About Textbook Prices

usually charge more for the new edition. Campus bookstores are freThe Board of Regents of the quently blamed for the high price of Montana College and University sysbooks. The stores are forced by the tem met at MSU-Billings in Septempublishing companies to follow a speber. Their meetings always deal with cific pricing model for books. Their issues based on money, student conprofits come from the sale of other cerns, administrative functions, and items, and the money made from other issues in a similar vein. One of book sales goes almost completely the issues raised in the September to the publishing companies. To meeting was the high cost of textmake this matter worse there exists books. only a handful of publishing compaThe cost of textbooks has been nies that control the market. Without a concern for students, faculty, and widespread competition they can set administrators for decades. A survey the prices they want. conducted by the Students also get United States Governaggravated with bookment Accountability stores when it comes to Office indicates the book buyback. They price of textbooks inbuy a book for a lot of creased by 186 percent money and when they between 1986 and go to sell it back the 2004. The same surbookstore wont take it vey finds that tuition because the CD is and fees on U.S. cammissing. The books puses increased by 240 that do not get sold in percent in the same stores get sent back to time period, whereas the publisher. The pubthe national inflation lisher wont take them Photo by Jed Barton rate increased by only back without the CD A short stack of books can equal a long bill. 72 percent. The overand other extra materiall increase for higher education is breaking up a package deal, and the als. Without this transfer, new books making it difficult, if not impossible, individual components are such and coming in would be even more exfor many would be students to attempt such a price by themselves. If an in- pensive. a degree. All parties involved agree structor wants just the book and What is being done about the that a price decrease is necessary to maybe the CD-ROM it will cost twice high cost of textbooks? Campus provide students the opportunity to as much to get just the two items out bookstores are working with publishgo to college. The first target set in of the bundle. ers to sell books outside bundles, in the sights of student governments, adThe publishing companies also other words, without all the extras that ministrators, and local government only offer an option of package deals students never use, throw away or officials, like the Board of Regents, to teachers. The professor picks the lose. Bookstores, administrators, and is the cost of textbooks. best package for their particular class, faculty are also working with publishThe process of creating, pub- but options for interchanging prod- ers to customize textbooks. This prolishing, and selling a college textbook ucts or choosing only the pieces cess is designed to cut a textbook is somewhat complicated. An author needed are not available. Once the down to only its useful information. or (panel of authors) writes the book; package is decided on, that book is This eliminates much of the copyright a publishing company buys the book, good for that class until a new edi- and authorship costs as well as makadds statistics, photographs, and other tion of the text is made available. ing books smaller and absorbing copyrighted materials; a college pro- Textbooks used to get revised into some of the printing costs. The Board fessor picks it for his or her class; the new editions about every five or six of Regents in Montana has been talkbookstore orders copies for a pro- years. New editions now come out ing to faculty about the usefulness of jected number of students in that every other year or every third-year. the texts they choose. The faculty are class; and last, the student comes to Usually what is being revised are the college and buys the book. extra materials like the CDs or the There are a few problems that workbooks. The book itself may have arise in this process. The authors chapters rearranged or a glossary have to be the best in their fields in added, but the material is generally order to write reputable and credible the same. The publisher makes the textbooks. The more qualified the au- most money from sales of the text the thor and the more credible the work, first year it is put out. After the first the more it costs the publisher. At- year, used books fall into direct comtaining copyrights to statistics, pho- petition with the sale of the unused tographs, and media material for CD- books. The publisher prints nearly ROMs has become increasingly ex- as many copies of the text but sells pensive due to copyright laws. These fewer, so to make up for printing and two things drive up the cost of the distribution costs they create new book before a single copy is printed. editions making the old text useless The publishing companies have as a used book for the same class, and been adding materials to textbooks that supposedly help students and faculty to use the book more effectively. Study guides, CD-ROMs, pass codes, workbooks, and solution manuals are examples of these added extras. The addition of these materials is another force driving up the cost of the books. Why cant we buy the textbooks without all this extra stuff? Good question. The answer is that the publishing companys first priority is to make money. They will sell the books by themselves, but for a higher price than getting the text with all the stuff. They can do this by saying that youre being asked to consider cheaper options. The Regents are also addressing the problem of a textbook that is required for a course but is never used in class. It is also being suggested that a book used for an introductory course be used for the advanced course in the same subject. There is a school of thought that believes that someday all textbooks will be online, and the need for a backpack will vanish. Dennis Rea, manager of Beezers bookstore on our campus, believes there will always be textbooks. E-books came and went, and were still selling books. Some tend to think that somehow a textbook would be cheaper online. Copyright, licensing, security, pass code fees, some form of time of use payment, not to mention cost of Internet service would make online textbooks at least as expensive as the real thing. Students can do a few things themselves to reduce textbook costs. Come early and get all used books. You can split the cost with a classmate and share the text. You can find your books somewhere online or at Barnes & Noble, Borders, and Hastings. On the first day of class ask the instructor if the textbook is an absolute necessity for the class, if not, dont buy the book or take it back if you already bought it. Never take the cellophane off your book before you have been to class, and if you do use the book make sure you put all the extra stuff somewhere where you can find it before book buyback. Your student government, faculty, administrators, and Board of Regents are working toward solutions for high textbook costs. The United States Government Accountability Office survey is a step in the right direction. The higher up in the government the complaint is registered the more the publishing companies will pay attention and the more willing they will be to make policy changes. It will be a slow process, but the concerns are no longer being ignored.

Textbooks Too High to Buy

Scraping the Barrel: Top O the Mormon to Ya

I was sitting in my history class, waiting for the dull ringing in my ears to commence the way it always does during lectures, considering asking out the cute blonde sitting to my immediate right, when Tim Stene, The Retorts ex-photographer who shall be known from this day forth as Doogie Howser, made the comment that was to squash my writers block. The library is crawling with Mormons. I almost snapped my pen in half, as an easy article poured into my twisted head, making it impossible to care about silver found in South Dakota in 1897. Doogie was right, of course. The Mormon stormtroopers were out in full force. All wearing crisply starched white shirts, snazzy engraved nametags, and black ties, making the MSU-B library look like an open casting call for Saved By The Bell: The Brigham Young Years. Dont get me wrong and send me anymore hate mail. These gentlemen are the nicest Mormons I had ever met, never failing to be anything but polite and downright neighborly (unlike those stuffy Scientologist pricks). So dont think I hate Mormons, and please, please dont put a voodoo hex on me and turn me into a pillar of salt or stone me the way yall used to do to prostitutes in olden times or anything, I was just saying. I was also tempted to run up to one of the gentlemen, yank hard on his tie, praying it was a clip-on, and sprint off before he could get the rest of his posse together, howl a polygamist battle cry and then pummel my ass. My life is also a wreck. Im in financial ruin, if my love life was a television station, it would be PBS, (boring and predictable) instead of Cinemax after 10 p.m. My Biology class is like a small twin turboprop, and as I write this, the left engine has stalled, the rotor has been destroyed, Im screaming mayday on the radio with my thumb hovering over the eject lever, and Im seriously debating whether to punch out or try to put this mother down in the sand. On top of all this, my English instructor wants me to keep a journal like Im a damn twelve year old girl. In the past two weeks, Ive been called a bigot, a racist, an asshole, and the other day I accidentally closed the elevator door before a handicapped kid could get there. I didnt wipe down the weight machines at the gym, and I refused to tip the Chinese delivery guy, just to show how tough I was. (Better luck next time, Miyagi-san, I told him.) Emily keeps trying to get me to join her quaint little History Club, but Ive rejected her advances on the grounds that if I wanted to join a club to meet interesting like-minded people, Id just show up at the next AA meeting. I was recently asked about my frame of mind while

Welcome to my post-writers block edition of Scraping The Barrel, a name I hate but am stuck with for continuitys sake. Come on in, have a seat and help yourself to the fishbowl of Cheez-Its, pour yourself a flute of Hawaiian Punch while I fire up the old STB jukebox. Im feeling mighty obscure, so how about we listen to Ace Frehleys Rock Soldiers, Old 97s Nineteen, and finally Lets Put the O Back in Country by Shooter Jennings.

Graphic courtesy of www.djfl.de/ entertainment

pounding out this sludge I write, and a scene from the superb Woody Allen movie Sweet and Lowdown comes to mind, where Sean Penn plays a talented but troubled blues guitarist in the early 20th century and his girlfriend asks him what goes through his mind when he performs. Sean Penns character looks up at her and smiles, then he says Yeah, that Im underpaid. I think about that sometimes. Touch, Mr. Penn, touch, indeed.

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As most of us grew up in the American public school system, we learned from our teachers, and understood everything they told us to be factual. Furthermore, we learned to explore our surroundings by using our good old friend The Scientific Method, a method which relies on a world that is actual and testable. Today, a debate rages as to whether public schools should transform conventional science teachings to allow Intelligent Design (ID) Many of you may be thinking, as I did when I first heard of Intelligent Design, well, what in the hell is that, and what is so unintelligent about the way we have grown up with science. ID purports that the world is much too wondrously, beautifully, cleverly, and, of course, intelligently designed to be the work of evolution alone. This had to be the work of an intelligent creator. Keep in mind that the strongest supporters of ID are religious conservatives, so as they are saying intelligent creator in our politically correct world, they are mumbling Ahem, God under their breaths. There are many theological arguments why allowing ID in schools could be disastrous, but I will only expound upon two objective arguments. Many supporters are baffled about why scientists are not so fond of ID and will not even recognize it. This one is not too hard to figure out. Science, that is the field to which most scientists have devoted their entire lives, depends on testing the world. Theories are not just ideas; they are ideas that have been strongly supported through tests and retests and more retests. Darwins Theory of Evolution, although somewhat flawed in the beginning, has been explored for over 100 years, and the fact that all living things can and usually do adapt through generations has been proven. This means that Darwins theory has been supported through testing and observation. An intelligent creator cannot be physically tested or observed in any way. If we

were to allow ID in schools as part of the scientific core, the basic premise of what science is would be greatly compromised. The second argument is that public schools are an entity of the state. This means that the separation of church and state, as outlined in the Establishment Clause of the first amendment, is applicable to all public schools. Parochial and private schools are at liberty to teach ID and have professed similar ideologies for decades. The problem is that children of all races, ethnicities, and religion attend public schools in hopes of receiving a nondiscriminatory education. No matter how ID is taught, someone can be offended. Furthermore, supporters of ID call the world the work of an intelligent creator, however, if we allow this nomenclature in schools, it is a step in the door, and soon the door will be wide open for teachers to name

Theory: A set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena. I guess that means a theory is not a fact. Then why do biologists teach The Theory of Evolution as if it was The Fact of Evolution? If the theory of evolution is not a fact, then why wont scientists even discuss any other options? If scientists are not willing to even admit there may be some other theory out there, how can it be discovered? According to Time magazine, British biologist Richard Dawkins, professor of the public

Graphic courtesy of www.southtexascollege.edu Should theories that compete with evolution be allowed in schools?

their own intelligent creator, and then we are preaching full-on religion in schools. Surely, Intelligent Design makes for a fascinating debate which will and should be discussed for years in suitable settings where ideas are exchanged and challenged, like over the dinner table or in a University level biology or theology class. However, most of primary public education does not involve the exchange of ideas, but rather the teacher sharing the facts with students. Teaching the theory of ID in public schools is not only unconstitutional, but just plain inappropriate.

understanding of science at Oxford University compares the idea of teaching ID with teaching flat earthism-perfectly fine in a history class but not in science. The idea that someday biologists teaching the outdated theory of evolution could be compared to teaching flat earthism. Teach the controversy in history classes! Teach it in sociology classes! At least give teachers the freedom to talk about it and discuss it, instead of censoring the work of competent, respected scientists, not to mention the beliefs of (according to a Harris

poll conducted June of 2005) 54 percent of adults who do not believe humans developed from an earlier species. I know we cant teach something just because 54 percent of Americans believe it, but we can stop teaching something as a fact when it indeed is not a fact, but a theory. I could go into Professor of Biochemisty at Lehigh University Michael J. Behes theory of irreducible complexity or the theory of no free lunch written and researched by William A. Dembski who holds a Ph.D. in mathematics and philosophy and a master of divinity in theology(He must have been in school forever!). We dont have that kind of space in The Retort, but cant we at least admit that very intelligent men are debating and testing the tried and true theory of evolution? Cant we even talk about it? Is that a crime? I thought America was all about being able to test boundaries. Evidently the scientific community doesnt want this one tested. According to The New Yorker magazine, most scientists will not even discuss ID because that would give it legitimacy. Galileo was placed under house arrest because his scientific views conflicted with Church doctrine. I hope the body of affluent scientists in this country will not place further discovery and growth under house arrest because it doesnt fit in with what they want to believe so badly. I would not go so far as to teach ID as a proven theory in science classes; not even one that has been researched nearly as much as Darwins Theory of Evolution, but cant we admit that Darwins theory, is a theory and not a fact and that there are other bodies of research out there? Actually, most scientists who believe in ID also believe in evolution to a certain extent, just not to the ultimate extent. What are biologists so afraid of? Maybe a truth they cant explain.

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C o u n t r y C o n c e r t : B i g Wi l l i e St y l e
As I walked into the Shrine Auditorium, I was invited into a crowd of people of all ages and styles talking as recorded Willie Nelson albums were coming from speakers in the background. With 45 minutes until the concert and what with the weather being so nice, we did as any Willie fan would do, we headed to the beer garden outside. Also outside were the souvenir stands where you could purchase a $35 t-shirt with the tour information emblazoned on it. I passed. A few beers and a good buzz later, we went inside to stake our spots on the gym floor when the lights started to fade. A hush went over the crowd, lights flooded the stage, glaring off the drum set, and out walked the band. A new wave of excitement lit up the crowd when out stepped Willie Nelson. The crowd erupted into cheers, holding Horses, the spotlight was turned on the crowd who, their beers in the air in salute to the country leg- on command, sang their part while lifting their plastic beer cups to the stage. When end. Willie sang the classic, Crazy, (he Starting out with his wrote it and Patsy Cline made it fatrademark song, On the Road mous) some couples got up and Again, and through the entire slow danced. It was fun to hear concert, Willie sounded great! Willies old and new hits, because Every song he sang got better some Id listened to growing up and and better. He looked and others I picked up on my own. sounded as if he were having a I heard during and after the blast! Like it wasnt his job to show a lot of people complaining be in Billings, MT, but he about the heat in the Shrine, but wanted to be there. Part of the thats not what bothered me; he concert he even tossed out random hats and bandanas to the Photo courtesy of www.gactv.com/ didnt play Poncho and Lefty! gracious crowd of fans. artists/nelson Not even for the encore! I guess Ill have to catch him at another Two of his sons were on Willie Nelson can still put on an show, which I think wont be hard tour with him and looked as if awesome concert. they were growing out the signature Nelson hair, to find because he didnt look like he planned on but not quite so country. The older of the two quitting touring anytime soon. If you looked around the crowd you saw a boys, who couldnt be old enough to drink, played the bass and also played a few blues solos that range of ages from a young girl on her dads shoulwere pretty good. It looks like we may be seeing ders to the 20-somethings taking tokes while dancing to the grandma sitting in the stands just enjoymore of the Jr. Nelson in the future. During his set, he played the more recent ing all the songs shes heard all the years before. It just goes to show you, everyone- the old, the young; popular hit has with Toby Keith, Whiskey for My Men, and when it came to Beer for My hippie, country, or city folk-they all still love Willie!

Photo by Melissa DeVries Willie and the gang ripped it up on stage.

Wild Animus: Id Rather Have An Enema

They say you should never look a gift horse in the mouth. Well, that may be true, but what do you do when you find a free book? It wasnt given to me, either. I like to go to the thrift stores a lot for my familys clothing needs, not because it may be trendy; I am flat broke all of the time. So I came across a free book pile, and I discovered a seemingly interesting little ditty titled Wild Animus written by Rich Shapero. I glanced at the back jacket and it tells me that the story is basically about a disillusioned Berkeley College graduate who gets fed up with the world of his present 1969. He decides to up and leave for Alaska to further his meditations on life. Then I take a look at the little paragraph about the author. Hmmm Well, it says here Shapero grew up in California, then headed for Alaska as soon as he could. He then proceeded to explore his inner self, all while dog sledding, kayaking, and crossing 400 miles of mountain terrain all by himself. Apparently his explorations took the form of meditations on transcendence. Okay, okay. I know its starting to sound as if I just dont like the guy, but thats not true. I dont even know him. He could be that sweetheart that let me merge onto the Hollywood Freeway one time in 1995. I do have to say however, since this is a book review, that Wild Animus is the biggest load of crap Ive read since Henry James. I do not apologize for these feelings. Sam Altman and his girlfriend Lindy have left California for the relieves he is turning into a Ram. Oh, he is also being pursued by a rogue pack of seven wolves, each one representing different fears that he carries through life. He even builds himself a ram costume that he wears while traipsing the wilderness high on acid, coming close to death several times. He endangers his girlfriend and estranges the people he knows, because by now he thinks he is some blessed messenger of this revolutionary philosophy that doesnt even make any sense. At one point it has become obvious that even though she loves him, Lindy is nearing the end of her rope. Ransom falls into a crevasse during one of his escapades, and Lindy picks him up at the hospital. Maybe well keep him till tomorrow, the med student said, seeing Lindys distress. No, Lindy picked up the paper sack. Where can he change? The med student motioned toward a restroom and pulled a form from her pocket. Hell need to initial this. Lindy took the pen. Ransom. Ransom signed and she handed him the sack of clothing. Thanks, she gave the med student a cursory nod. Put your clothes on, she said angrily and urged Ransom toward the

Cover photo by Rich Shapero

mote wilderness of Alaska, via Seattle. After a while in Alaska, and way too many mushrooms and tabs of acid, Sam has changed his name to Ransom, taken to spending days alone in the mountains, and now be-

restroom. He did as she requested, closing the door behind him. The med student took the signed discharge and turned on her heel. Lindy watched her return to the bowels of the hospital. Flipped out, Erik muttered with finality. Stop it, she said. The restroom door sprang open and before they realized what was happening, Ransom was striding through the reception area naked. Three seated men watched him halt before them, while a woman and the young girl with her rose and backed away. You have hearts! He spread his arms. Do you feel the wilderness of love inside you? His eyes flashed and he sprang among the seats, fingers digging at the pink welt that scored his chest. Throw yourselves open. Let it come gushing out! Its amazing that anyone puts up with him at all throughout this book because the drug induced incidents happen way too often. I guess this is what you can accomplish with a degree, LSD, and enough money to publish your own novel. If anyone wants a free copy, stop by the Retort office. You can have mine.

Elevator Etiquette: Cmon Where Are Your Manners?

When was the last time you were running late and tried to use the LA Building elevators for a class on the eighth floor? Your experience probably went something like this: The doors open on the second floor, to reveal a half-full elevator; a flock of 20 other students cram in as soon as the doors open. You decide to opt out of cramming yourself and your overstuffed backpack in and wait for a less occupied elevator. When the next arrives, you discover another half-full elevator that quickly fills. This pattern repeats itself until you finally give up on the martyrdom and shove your way in. The elevator will then stop on the third floor. Someone in the very back of the elevator will not-so-politely say, Uh, excuse me. Then three people will have to file out to let little-misscant-take-the-stairs-for-one-floor out and then file back in. The elevator will then stop at every floor before finally reaching the eighth floor. With any luck, youre there before lecture begins. This kind of problem doesnt only occur in the LA Building, but it seems like the situation is worst there. Luckily, this dire condition can be corrected if we all do our part by abiding by the following guidelines. Keep in mind back surgery or are unable to carry a heavy load, do not use a rolling backpack. They take up the space of two people. Hint: they are unfashionable, as well. 5. If you are standing near the floor buttons, ask your fellow occuPhoto by Nicole Livermont pants what floors they need and push the buttons for them. This way, not Going up? that certain exclusions apply: Use everybody will have to reach over as they enter. your best judgment. 6. Keep in mind that you may 1. Unless you are a physically unable, under strict directions from your doctor, wearing disabling heels, or wearing a skirt so short people can see up it, do not take the elevator up only one floor. One flight of stairs will not kill you; if you are feeling ambitious, take the stairs for classes that are two flights away. 2. Unless you are a physically unable, under strict directions from your doctor, or wearing disabling heels, do not take the elevator down to another floor. Close to no effort is required to walk down stairs, and you will almost always get to your destination sooner. 3. If you know you will be exiting the elevator at the next stop or two, stand near the doors. Likewise, if you are riding that baby all the way to the top, stand near the back. 4. Unless you have just had have to stand very close to strangers. Personal cleanliness is appreciated. It is hoped that most of us have matured to a full understanding of what personal cleanliness entails, but if nothing else, brush your teeth. There is nothing worse than a stranger breathing nastiness onto you. Unnecessary flatulence falls under this rule as well. Come on, you can hold it until you get to a restroom.

Tess Hatfield

Photo by Ncole Livermont

Age: 18 Hometown: Billings Major: Psychology Minor: Undecided Dream job: Adolescent Psychiatrist Top of celebrity make out list: Glenn Danzig Famous person youd most like to kick the crap out of: Angelina Jolie Recurring nightmare: I brutally murder a pit bull.

Spor kman Sporkman

Age: 21 Hometown: Billings Major: History Minor: None Dream job: Sportswriter on major daily paper Top of celebrity make out list: Jennifer Aniston Famous person youd most like to kick the crap out of: anyone who has won or been a contestant on a reality show Recurring nightmare: A third term for W

Jed Barton

Photo by Nicole Livermont

by Dan Hansen

Cool As Ice Should Be Cryogenically Frozen

Why anyone would ever create a movie specifically for a goofy white rapper from Florida is beyond me. But someone with serious stroke obviously felt giving Vanilla Ice almost two hours of screen time devoted to his motorcycles, effeminate shoulders, and Kid N Play/USMC haircut was a swell idea, and I will personally never be the same again. Vanilla Ice plays Johnny Van torcycle over the fence. Yes, over the fence. No ramp or anything. He just jumps. This causes the girl to fall from her horse and thud onto the ground, and to the Icemans surprise, call him stupid, mounts back up and rides away. Confused and somewhat hurt, Ice rejoins his two cronies Duke and Jazz and off they go. This is where it starts to get fuzzy as I begin to bash myself in the head with a large paperweight. At this point, mechanical difficulties force the trio to get stranded in Small-town USA, and Ice and his posse are forced to hang out, until eventually he sees horse-lady, learns her name is Cathy Winslow, and yet, he calls her Kat throughout the whole movie. The wealthy family patriarch Mr. Winslow is played by none other than Michael Gross, who must have really needed a quick buck. Ice ends up meeting her family, and is hated by all except her little brother, Tommy, who finds the role model in this motorcycle-riding Chia-Pet that he never had in his own domineering wealthy father. This causes the young boy to emulate Ice, going so far as to even style his hair just like his hero. Surprisingly, Michael Gross didnt ship the little heathen right off to an Alaskan military school. Cathy is warming up slowly to Ice, but alas, she has a boyfriend! Eventually, Ice gets himself involved in an impromptu rap-off at a bar called The Sugar Shack, where we are subjected to the most unintentionally comical dancing I have ever seen. Ices dance consists of looking left, then straight ahead, and then right, while Cathys dance looks like shes flapping her arms, sort of like doing a jumping jack sans jumping. Cathys boyfriend, looking very much like treasurer of the local high school Key Club, confronts his dancing woman and calls her a slut. Ice sees his lady fair getting treated poorly by her man, adjusts his wrap-around shades and suavely urges her to Drop the zero and get with the hero. Why she didnt begin ovulating right there is beyond me. Outside, Ice and his crew run smack dab into five muscleheads with baseball bats vandalizing Dukes bike, apparently for no other reason than hes Vanilla Ices lackey. The hoodlums eas- is beyond normal comprehenily pummel the useless weaklings sion. During the ransom call, in Duke and Jazz when they inter- which Ice is offering moral supvene, and square off against Ice, port to the family, the FBI agents five to one, tapping Louisville cant figure out where the kidnapsluggers threateningly into their pers are holed up, but Ice, ever palms, intending to give our hero alert, hears construction noises the business. But, alas, hope over the phone and figures out against hope, it was not to be, as where the bad guys are hiding, bafIce is also a marfling the FBI tial arts expert! agents assigned Quicker than you A movie so terrible to the Winslow can say ice, ice, family. When it may have rendered baby, the thugs you need Vanilla are left wheezing me impotent. Ice to help you and moaning in outsmart kidnapvarious states of pers, think imbodily harm, and Ice hasnt even mediate career change. Like a broken a sweat. Mercifully skip- Dairy Queen sort of change. ping right along, Ice ends up alone To make a long story short, with Kat in a half-built house Ice rides his motorcycle through a where he does nothing but chase wall, disarms the baddies with his her around shirtless in pinstripe Kung Fu grip and five- knuckle shorts complete with suspenders shuffle, and saves his mini-me (yes, its just as horrific as it from being threateningly taped to sounds) for about 17 minutes in the a chair, and I ponder whether or most sickening and pointless use not the poor kid would have been of a zoom lens and slow motion in better off sleeping with the fishes. the history of modern cinema. Everything is groovy until the Im not expecting anyone to bike vandalizing hoodlums kidnap admit this, but the couple million little Tommy. Apparently Papa bucks this crap-fest took in at the Winslow has a terrible secret, and box office means that someone the secret isnt that he played paid actual money to watch this, Michael J. Foxs father on the and Im willing to bet that some1980s sitcom Family Ties. The one reading this not only saw the Winslows are currently hiding in movie, but bought his album or had the witness protection program, a watch or t-shirt or keychain with because Michael Gross stole a the Icemans likeness emblazoned bunch of money from the goons. onto it. Dont stand up or admit it. Im not completely sure why they You know who you are, and you decided to wreck motorcycles, have to live with your sins. May but then again this whole movie God have mercy on your soul.

Cover art courtesy of www.conceptenterprisesinternational.com

Owen, a street-smart motorcycle riding Casanova with a heart of gold, although I dont intend to use his characters name in the following paragraphs. You have been warned. Ladies and gentlemen, friends and faculty: Cool As Ice. The movie opens up on a peaceful rural road right out of a Robert Frost poem, with Ice and his hoodlum crew of urban, hiphop outlaws riding high end crotch rockets, looking tragically hip wearing clothes that look like they came from MC Hammers last garage sale. Ices jacket, for example, has Sex Me Up written in yellow across his back, and his two cronies are no better. How these three tools wound up in what appears to Amish country is beyond me, but at this point Ice notices a woman riding a horse along the side of the road, and our hero, being the rebel he is, decides to ride along side her, shouting flirtatious phrases, until in a vain attempt to woo her, jumps his mo-

When I first started going to school at MSU-B, I never read the Retort but now that I write for the school paper I

read every issue. Lately, Ive asked myself why I never picked up an issue before. Did I not have enough time? Did I not see it? Was there nothing in it that interested me?

Either way, I wanted to find out why so many papers are left sitting in the stands and not in the students hands. I decided to ask the students and staff if they read the paper and

why; or if they didnt, why not? I also wanted to know what everyone would like to see in future issues. This is what some Yellowjackets had to say!

Stephanie Bennett Powell, WY Public Relations Junior Whats the Retort? Im a newly transferred student here and I guess Id like to see stories about whats going on at MSU-B and Billings in general. Professor Profiles would be nice, too.

Matt Pipinich Great Falls Public Relations Senior I do read the Retort. I had to because I was on the Publication Board, but now I read it out of habit. In future issues I would like to see more current articles related to the student body. Oh, and the papers are too low to the ground, I cant see them down there!

Dr. Stephen Coffman Bonne Terre, MO Dept. of Communication and Theatre Sometimes I read it; more than some people because Nancy (Swanson) is a colleague of mine. Id like to see the students more politically involved with issues that concern them. For example their tuition; address the issues of how students spend their money.

Katie Gerke Laurel Elementary Ed/ Special Ed Junior Not very often, but I do sometimes. I dont really know how to get involved in activities on campus so maybe more on specific clubs and how to get involved.

Dont

Trip

Up

on

Fall

Fashion
very Puritan. Wear these with a shout out to our founding fathers. Beyond those major pieces to score, the mod black and white color combo is getting a lot of play now. Brass studs, grommets and tassels are fresh new looks for bags and shoes. Also noteworthy is the white tights look, be they opaque or fishnet theyre hot now. Just dont wear em with white shoes or youll look like a nurse. And Im reluctant to recommend this trend; however, I keep reading a lot about high-waisted pants. I dont really know how to make this look not suck and I personally believe those types of pants are the enemy of any not flat-bottomed girl. If you figure out how to rock this look, please stop by the Retort office and let me know. Beyond that, enjoy your fall and happy dressing!

glove and button one up over a tiny anything velvet is good. Cropped pants are still going tee. A sexier option is to wear a vest Were entering my favorite sea- strong. A menswear fabric like her- with no top underneath or over a son and I know a lot of you ladies out ringbone or tweed looks best with tall sleeveless dress for going out. If youre like me, then youve there have been wondering what you boots worn underneath. I like the should be buying and wearing this fall denim variety worn with flats and a been missing your boots all summer and, conversely, what you should be storing and burning. Fear not; I would never leave you hanging or left to your own devices to figure out whats trendy this season. Once again I have scoured the mags and stores and narrowed down a few key pieces to update your wardrobes. The new look for sweaters is a nod to Mr. Rogers in the form of cardigan sweaters. These are replacing the ballet-inspired wraps of last fall. Chunky knits are another way to freshen up your sweater collection. Shearling and suede combos are another casual addition to snag this fall. Graphic courtesy of http://www.manbehindthedoll.com/images/ff12005.jpg These can be boots, bags, vests, coats After almost fifty years, Barbie still knows how to dress for the seasons. or gloves. Victorian pieces have been get- blazer or a white shirt and scarf. long. Well now is the time to bring ting a lot of attention this fall as well. These types of bottoms can also be em out. This year there are more Examples of this trend are high-col- dressed up for evening with a slinky hip choices than ever. Cowboy boots (think Daisy Duke), wedge heels, lace lared and puffed-sleeve blouses, or tank and brightly colored heels. Another look thats been spot- up riding boots and flats are all looklace tops and lace-up boots. My only suggestion with the Victorian look is ted in a number of collections is the ing fresh right now. The only other to wear only one or two items at a menswear vest. Although it sounds shoe trend worth mentioning is the time to avoid looking too costume-y. androgynous, the way to wear it is square toed look Ive been spotting Velvet is huge right now and falls extremely close-cut and fitted. Fit is all over. Its called a pilgrim toe and easily into this category, although key; make sure your vest fits like a when coupled with a buckle it looks

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Picaresque: Story Hour With The Decemberists

I first heard the Decemberists my first semester of college. I was attending UW-Madison and working at some hip sandwich shop near campus, and one evening at work a fellow employee said, Hey, you should check these guys out. From that moment on, I was hooked. The Decemberists in their songs?) and their antique vocabulary. The Decemberists lyrics have included words like palanquin, infanta, balustrade, and yardarm. The Decemberists newest album, Picaresque, builds upon the foundation laid by their former two albums, Castaways and Cutouts and Her Majesty, the Decemberists. This album has a bigger sound, as some of the songs feature a full horn ochestra. The songs also cross pretty much all musical genres, from jazz to polka to country to rock and then back again. Frontman, Colin Meloy, a native of Missoula, uses his wide range of vocals to add tone to all of the songs. As with the previous albums, all of the songs tell a story, from a different place, from a different time. The word picaresque is literary adjective that often describes epic tales with a rascal of a protagonist who has several adventures throughout his travels. Think Don Quixote. The title is fitting then, except that in the album, each song introduces a new character and theme. The Sporting Life tells the story of a young athlete that has fallen and, though ashamed, doesnt feel like getting up and We Both Go Down Together (this song is not as perverse as it sounds) is one of the albums catchiest tracks. It recounts the tale of two unfitting young lovers as they share their first intimate experience. The tales continue. The Decemberists, though still somewhat unknown in this area, have a unique sound that is worth checking out. Plus you can earn intelligence points for listening to songs with big words. However, if you are one of those people that never listen to anything that they dont play on Hot 101.9, this kind of music is probably not for you.

Fast Facts
1. The planet Mercury (planet closest to the sun) is 800 F at the equator but has ice at its north and south poles! 2. The parsley leaves put on your plate at a restaurant arent just there for decoration; its there to help with halitosis! Chew on this to freshen your breath after meals. This plant is rich in chlorophyll, natures own deodorizer! 3. The last cigarette ad to be aired on television was on December 31, 1970 during the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson. 4. The only North American territory to fall under Axis control during WWII, were two small Alaskan islands, conquered by Japan in 1942. 5. The honey bee is not buzzing at you with its mouth but actually with its wing stroke of 11,400 times a minute! 6. Our neighbor to the north, Alberta, Canada, is said to be completely rat-less!

Cover art courtesy of www.230publicity.com/images/ decembercover

are like nothing I have ever heard before. And not in a way like, Whoa, this is blowing my mind, but more like wow, this is interesting, and kind of catchy. The songs feel anachronistic, like something from another time, yet they still have a contemporary pop edge. Their strange sound comes from the eccentric combination of instruments (seriously, how many bands do you know these days that often use an accordion

Youre Givin Me the Chills

S o c c er : U p s a n d D o w n s
Womens Soccer: In the Mix
Compiling a record of 72-1 so far, including key Midwest region wins over Mesa State, Adams State, St. Marys and Colorado School of Mines, has catapulted MSU-Billings into fifth place in the most recent regional poll and right into the hunt for a playoff spot. The top four teams from each region make the NCAA DII tournament. We have gotten off to a good start and if we continue to play like we have been we are positively in the postseason mix, said head coach Don Trentham The Lady Yellowjackets have three contests remaining in Billings before traveling to Texas to finish out the regular season and playing in the Heartland Conference Tournament November 3-5. October 12 will be round one of this years battle for the Rimrock Cup as MSU-B takes on crosstown rival Rocky Mountain College kickoff time at COT field is 3:30 p.m. MSU-B then seeks to avenge an earlier loss when the Saints of Carroll College visit the COT field on Oct. 15 kickoff time for that contest is 1 p.m. and the last opportunity to see MSU-B in action this year will be when the Jackets and Bears meet again on Oct. 29 for a 1 p.m. showdown at Wendys Field on the RMC Campus.

Mens Soccer: Rebuilding Proves Painful So Far

Meanwhile, the mens team has been on the short end of the stick during the first half of the season posting a 3-9-0 record so far, including a 1-0 loss to Incarnate Word in their only home game so far, dodging 100 degree heat and hurricane Rita in four losses in Texas and a heartbreaking 3-2 loss in double overtime to CalState Monterey Bay. We knew that this would be rebuilding year, said head coach Dan McNally, and we knew the first part of the year with just the one home game would be tough, but hopefully the fourgame homestand we have the first part of October will help

Photo by Matt Langman Way to use your head!

Photo by Matt Langman Freshman midfielder Sara Gress feilds the ball during the Jackets win of University of Mary.

and we will conclude the season on the upswing. Having just concluded the aforementioned homestand The Yellowjackets will again hit the road to conclude the season with three games in Phoenix October 14 against Embry-Riddle, October 15 against Humboldt State and October 16 against Grand Canyon.

Bills, Watson Earn Multiple League Honors

The 2005 edition of the MSU-Billings Volleyball team may not look like much with only eight names on the roster, but those eight have certainly risen to the occasion starting off the season with a 16-4 record (5-2 Heartland Conference.) Running off a streak of five in a row to start the season and following two losses, winning six in a row before beginning the conference season by splitting with St Marys and Western New Mexico and beating cross-town rival Rocky Mountain College. The lack of depth maybe hurts us a little bit, but our kids are in good shape. If we play well we can beat anybody no matter how many games the match goes, says head coach Paulasi Matavao. Amongst this elite eight two players have stood out for unique distinction so far, Ali Watson and Natalie Bills have earned Heartland conference player of week honors three times, Bills in the setter of the week category, while Watson earned two offensive player of the week awards and one on the defensive side. Watson a junior outside hitter from Calgary, Alberta, who joined the Jackets this year after lettering two years at Sheridan College (Wyo.), has already amassed some pretty which already halfway though the season sees MSU-B poised to break its single season win total of 14 different from previous years Bills and Watson pointed to two things. The move of the Yellowjackets into the Heartland Conference, leaving behind the Pac-West and traditional national powers Hawaii Pacific and Chaminade, and the camaraderie generated by having only eight players on the roster. The change in conference has helped us, says Bills. The Heartland conference, while a good league, is not nearly as tough as the Pac West was, and with the conference tournament taking the top four teams we feel confident that the postseason is within our reach. As to the concept of more with less that the team seems to be playing under, Watson says, A small team translates to playing together with an understanding of exactly what to expect from the player next to you, as opposed to bigger teams that have more formations and with players in and out all the time and can often be confused. Following a visit to Oklahoma Panhandle for two games October 3-4, The Jackets will be off until October 21 when they visit St. Edwards. the regular season then concludes with three straight home games at Alterowitz Gym October 26 (7 p.m.), against Photo by Matt Langman Rocky, and November (7 p.m.) and 5 (2 p.m.) Junior Ali Watson is a key reason the Yellowjackets against the University of the Incarnate Word. impressive stats though 16 games. Leading the team in three categories Kills: 264, Points: 298.5 and Digs: 280. No less impressive is Bills, a fourth year Junior from Provo, Utah. In her second full season with MSU-B, following a medical redshirt in her sophomore year and a year at Snow College (Utah), Bills has racked up 719 of the Jackets 823 assists. When asked about what made this year,
are off to a 16-4 start.

Golf Tees Up Fall Season

be relatively inexperienced, re- DII competition and see how I 11), The Mesa State (Colo.) Inviturning only two out of five regu- measured up. Hopefully I will get tational (October 17-18) and The Lady Otter Invitational at Cal For the average duffer the lars from last years roster: sopho- back this year, says Larson. The fall season for the mens State-Monterey Bay (October 24start of school may mark the end mores Nick Larson and Zach of golf season. The MSU-Billings Abels. Joining them will be two squad included three tournaments 25) This feet wet approach is mens and womens golf teams other sophomores who saw lim- beginning September 26-27, are playing a schedule of fall ited playing time last year, Jason when the Yellowjackets partici- part of head coach Jeff Nelsons philosophy of constantly events to tune up before the snow Kinsey and Chris Seder, improving his squads perand cold sets in and practice is as well as senior Josh Zimmerman, who returns formance. To be one of limited to indoor work. after not seeing action the better teams you have Coleman to Lead Mens since the 2002-03 season. to try and compete against Team Rounding out the the better teams, says The mens team, which af- roster are newcomers Nelson, who begins his ter a slow start to last spring, re- Kruise Kemp, Nathan first full season at the bounded to finish second at the Redfern, Michael Konrad, helm after joining MSUPac-West conference tournament, Tyler Nicholas and T.J. B during the middle of last has a new coach. Citing additional Stevenson. Notably abseason. By playing these family responsibilities, Roger sent from the mix are two big regional events in the Burckley resigned over the sum- of last years leading playfall we see where we stand mer and was replaced by Jim Bob ers: Chris Haas and Chris right off the bat. Coleman. McConnell, who were Like their male Coleman comes to MSU- declared academically counterparts, the Lady Billings with a rather lengthy re- ineligible before the start Jackets also started slow sume of golfing experience that of fall practice forfeiting last spring before coming includes a collegiate career at their senior seasons. We on strong to finish third at Dickenson State (N.D.), time as a are a young team, but we the Pac-West Tournament. club pro at The Briarwood and the do have a considerable We definitely showed Clarkston (Wash.) Country Club, amount of talent and improvement over the time as a touring pro throughout hopefully enough leaderPhoto by Matt Langman course of last year, says the minor leagues of golf, includ- ship that we will have a Coming off of a 2nd place finish at last years conference Nelson. Roger Burckley ing a half dozen starts on the Ca- good fall and be ready for tourney, Halley Montalban will be one of the leaders of (who also served from this years Jacket golf team. nadian PGA Tour in 2005, and, spring, says Coleman. October 04-March 05 as perhaps most relevant to his work Undoubtedly, one of the pated in the Rocky Mountain Col- womens head coach) did a fanwith the Yellowjackets, a three players that Coleman will be lege invitational at Peter Yegen tastic job starting off the season season stint (2000-2002) as head looking for leadership from is Golf Course. and assisting me with the recruitcoach of the golf team at Lewis Larson, who was MSU-Bs lone MSU-B then returned to ing process. and Clark State (Idaho). In 2002 qualifier for last years West Re- Yegen October 6-7 for the first Leading MSU-B this year he lead the Warriors to the Fron- gional Tournament. At that three- half of the second annual Billings will be a trio of returning golftier Conference title and a sixth day tourney, which featured the Collegiate Cup, a Ryder Cup style ers, senior Amanda Rabenberg place finish at the NAIA national top 45 players from across the dual event pitting the Yellowjackets and sophomores Halley tournament being named Frontier west region, Larson shot a score against the RMC Battlin Bears for Montalban and Nicole Salsbery. Conference coach of the year for of +238 (+22) to finish in 30th cross-town bragging rights. Amanda and Nicole have his efforts. place. It was a good experience MSU-B will host the second half worked very hard to improve On the links the Jackets will to play against some of the best of the matches March 16-17, 2006 their games and Halley is probat The Briarwood. ably our most consistent player. The Jackets will conclude Not only did she finish second at their fall play October 10 and 11 last years Pac-West but she also by visiting San Antonio to partici- won the Yellowstone County pate in the St. Marys University Womens Amateur this summer, Invitational, MSU-Bs first oppor- says Nelson. tunity to tee off in direct compeJoining the three veterans Providing Knowledge to the Community! tition against some Heartland are two transfers, sophomore The Victorian now makes available Conference opponents. Emily Maag (Lewis and Clark through Montana Targeted Prevention State) and Sophomore Karrie For Lady Jackets FREE Condoms & H.I.V. Testing. Brack (University of Great Continued Improvement Results in 20 minutes. All testing is anonymous. CANDLES Falls). Completing the roster are NOVELTIES Wed. thru Sat. 5:00 pm & 9:00 pm the Order of the Day three freshmen: Jessica Boyer, BOOKS, TAPES In contrast to the Mens & DVDS Brittney Job and Kristal Lemke. Hepatitis C Testing & Hepititis A & B schedule, which after the two Looking Towards Spring Vaccinations every 2nd & 4th Tuesday Rocky tournaments against NAIA The spring season, which 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm competition includes only one culminates in the Heartland ConNext Test Dates Oct. 11th & 25th tournament against NCAA Divi- ference Championships in April, sion II competition, the Womens begins for the Lady Jackets squad will follow the RMC meets March3-4 when they visit the Bring in this by jumping right into the thick of Rattlers of St Marys while the OF YOUR ad & receive OFF PURCHASE! things as they participate in three Mens Squad begins February DII events: The Western Wash- 27-28 with a trip to Austin, Texas MINNESOTA AVE. & 21ST ST. TUES-SAT 12PM TO MIDNIGHT ington Invitational (October 10- and the St Edwards Invitational.

245-4293

20

Cross Country Off and Running

teams in the conferencein the upper half, he says. First Season in Heartland The Cross Country team will Begins with Meets at CU, ISU be off to Pocatello, Idaho for Idaho The MSUB Cross Country State Universitys Invitational on team is off and running, having just October 8. completed their third in Boulder, Kocab Trades Boxing Colorado on September 23. In trainGloves for Running Shoes ing the mens team is up to running One of the new faces to the between 70-80 miles per week Cross Country team this year is and the womens team is at 50Susan Kocab. According to 60 miles per week. Coppock, Kocab, at the start of The theme for MSUBs the season, is running at the level runners is new this year. the top three women runners on Coach Dave Coppock notes his team were running at the end that there are quite a few fresh, of last season. She was a real first-season runners on the 17, pleasant surprise on our team, member team; made up of six but I wasnt too surprised bemen and eleven women. Sacause I had seen her in a few rah Lord, a graduate student at road runs, says Coppock. AlMSUB is the new Assistant Photo courtesy of www.msubillings.edu/athletics though she has always been inCoach. For the first time two The Cross Country Team stopped running to say volved in sports, this is her first team captain positions are be- cheese. season to run cross country. She ing filled by Sam Hartpence and The Cross Country team also says,I always wanted to do it but Tiffany Piplica. On being a team has joined a new conference. This had other conflicts. As a sophomore captain, Hartpence, a senior at season instead of heading to Cali- at MSU-B, interested in journalism, MSUB majoring in Math with a fornia for their regional competi- broadcasting and health and human double minor in Computer Science tion, theyll be going to Texas. As performance, she says that a lot of and Physics with a Secondary Edu- part of the Heartland Conference, her mental toughness for running cation Option, commented, Im Coppock notices the awe the pres- crosses over from another of her fastill mildly confused about what is ence of a Montana team inspires in vored sports, boxing. Mentally a team captain?...What I really like the competition. He says that Big there is a lot of similaritiesYou is the social aspect: team dinners Sky Country seems like a place really have to think while youre and organizing birthday parties. worlds away to southern competi- competing, Kocab says. Kocab Hartpence performed strongly at the tors. Were one of the stronger started her now professional boxpast three meets and recently took second place in the Montana Half Marathon in Billings. Coppock notes that having team captains is logistically a good move for his team and not only provides team members with a mediator to turn to, but will also help him better organize the team and keep them informed. ing career on a dare, I started my senior year [of high school]I have three older brothers[One] dared me and I dared him and then we did it together She started off boxing at the Thursday Night Fights at Billings Babcock Theatre and Kocab went on to win city and regional titles. Two years ago, she went professional and after cross country season, plans to once again travel. In between boxing and studies, she took a year off, traveled to San Antonio where she trained under Jesse James Llaya, a big name in the world of boxing. Of her brothers involvement, she is proud to announce that her brother Shawn, a senior at MSUB majoring in Crimminal Justice, just went professional this month as well. Kocab, a Billings native, is proud to say about her boxing, Its almost like a family thingTheyve always been in my corner and vice versa. For more updates on MSUB Cross Country including their recent membership in the Heartland Conference please check out: http:// www.msubillings.edu/athletics/CrossCountry.htm

Its Golf, But With a Frisbee: Folf

The game, Folf has become a sports craze in Billings over the past few years. It has even grown so big in the city that it was able to turn up a storm of controversy over its participants using Pioneer Park as a course. The debate ended in a compromise that took the Pioneer Park course from 18 holes down to 12. Folf has outgrown Pioneer Park in the Billings area, though. Now there are several Folf courses, both public and private Folf, Disc Golf or Frisbee (a trademarked word by WAMO) Golf, as it is known, has been around since the 1970s. As a hybrid of golf and classic Frisbee tossing, the object of the game of Folf is, using a disk that For more information on folf: Professional Disc Folf Association http://www.pdga.com/ Northern Rockies Disc Golf Alliance http://www.nrdga.com/ Airfairways Folf Club http://www.airfairways.com/ is heavier and stronger than an average Frisbee, after teeing off trying to toss the disc into a basket-like structure in the fewest number of tosses possible. Golfers use different clubs for different strokes. Folfers use discs of different weights that fly differently for different tosses. Folfers, much like golfers, also follow a system of etiquette that allows for peaceful use of the course, including letting faster players play through. The Diamond X Folf course is located on the drive toward Molt and was originally a piece of land willed to the Boy Scouts of Billings. Due to red tape, the land was finally ceded to the Billings Department of Parks and Recreation and has since become a free public Folf course. Jim Rott, in addition to being the owner of Steep World, a climbing wall gym, was also very influential in Diamond Xs development. As a climber, Rott had spent a lot of time at Diamond X climbing the steep terrain and says the vertical relief of the area makes it a unique Folfing challenge. He says that during the busy Spring season the course can see 50-75 people on a Saturday afternoon. Rott migrated to Billings from Alaska. He says that as a kid he burned up time playing Frisbee. Since the first tournament he experienced at Swords Park he has been hooked saying, Its the cheapest sport youll ever love.

Photo by Miranda Breding Adam Torres winds back to drive his disk.

For the dedicated player, there is even the Professional Disc Golf association which is responsible for setting standards for the sport as well as overseeing official tournaments. The

Billings area hosts several Folf tournaments during the year including, Spring Fling, Triple X and an event at the Big Sky State Games. There are old, young, male and female Folf players or Folfers. Folf is a lifetime sport and as Adam Torres, a recent graduate from West High School, says gets its popularity from being A time passercheap...[you] buy one disk and its free to play here [Pioneer Park.] Among young people, especially college students, that may be the draw. While playing a quick round of Folf with his friend, Mike Sorg, Torres also commented on professional Folfers who he said sometimes could earn $20,000 enjoying this sport. Torres, himself a Folfer for five years, is a member of the Airfairways folf club that meets on Tuesday nights. Airfairways, Billings Folf club will hold their summer league finale on October 2, starting at 10 a.m.for anyone interested in checking out the sport. Many college campuses across the nation boast a Folf program in their intramural sport listings. In Montana, MSU-Northern has its own Folf program.

Its Great to Have the NHL Back But...

As you may or may not know, the National Hockey League has just begun the 2005-2006 season, returning to action after a labor stoppage sent last year to the trash compacter. While I am pleased to see hockey back and looking forward to seeing how the elimination of the red line, reduction in the size of goalie equipment and the enforcement of obstruction penalties will open up the game to more scoring, I think the NHL and its players union missed a unique opportunity in not taking some of the following steps to really improve the long term health of the game. (If some of these suggestions look familiar see MSU-Billings Retort Vol. 75, Issue #8.) 1. They should have reduced the number of teams from 30 to 26. They should have taken the Carolina Hurricanes, Nashville Predators, Florida Panthers, and The Atlanta Thrashers, four out of the six teams residing in the southern United States and contracted them. You see Raleigh, Nashville, Miami, and Atlanta were all good minor league hockey towns prior to the arrival of the NHL, attracting decent sized crowds to games. The current NHL franchises also do, but the difference is that in minor league sports filling the seats is everything in terms of franchise viability, whereas in the major leagues, you need an adequate number of people tuning into games on radio and television in order to attract advertising revenue. With that many teams in the south, an area not exactly known for a large populaI am, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Florida would receive, as compensation for the loss of hockey, one additional NASCAR Nextel Cup race a year per franchise lost, to be held at speedways in those states. 2. They still need to fix overtime No more shootouts. A wise but also slightly perverted man once said that ending a game in a tie is like French kissing your sister. If that was really the case, the NHL would have in the past been found to be in violation of community decency standards in most civilized societies, with the number of regular season games that end in ties. Now some people say that a soccer-style shootout, adopted this season, is the answer to that problem. However, I think in the end most people will agree that having a miniature skills competition is no way to decide the winner of a game. I say that the solution has stared the NHL in the face for years, they just havent realized it. Believe it or not, the answer is: play overtime periods until someone wins just like during the playoffs and Stanley Cup Finals. Now I know what you are saying with teams playing four games a week doesnt that seem unpractical? which leads me to my third suggestion.

Photo from The Retort Archives Philly shoots the puck past Toronto during the 7th playoff game in 2003.

tion of hockey fans, it is impossible to get the numbers for TV or radio that even small market teams in the north such as Minnesota and Ottawa get. Eliminating these teams would make the other two franchises in the region, the defending Stanley Cup Champion Tampa Bay Lighting and perennial Western Conference contender Dallas Stars, regional powerhouses able to draw TV and radio numbers more inline with some of their northern competitors. Of course being the fair-minded individual that

3. They need to reduce the number of games in a season from 82 to 52. In NCAA Division I college hockey, teams most often play two games a week, one on Friday and one on Saturday, with the same two teams squaring off in the same location both nights. I plan to make it even easier on the professionals by suggesting they adopt a schedule which has them playing a Thursday and Saturday version of the college schedule each of the 26 weeks from Oct. 1 though May 1, followed by the regular playoff format. Thus, each game would become more of an event and perhaps draw more attention from media and fans. 4. They need to change the standings to a simple win-loss format. As Vince Lombardi said, Winning isnt everything, its the only thing. Therefore, to apply the football legends logic to this situation, no team should get a point just for simply playing in overtime as they do now. The system should be based simply on wins and losses. Anyway like I said above, it is good to have the NHL back and hopefully the owners and players of all sports have learned a lesson from this mess so that no sports fan will have to suffer such a case of cold turkey withdrawal again.

he white hot sun glared down from an equally bright sky onto the searing bleached sands of northwestern Mexico. Behind a low thick cholla, a man stretched out on the hard earth, peering over the long berm into a village on a far hillside. The whitewashed adobe bricks shone bright in the noonday sun. Few of the Mexican villagers moved about. One slouched against the wall of the church in a small patch of shade on the north side of the building. A trickle of sweat streamed down the mans sideburns, and he dabbed his face on his long sleeves. He wore a broad brimmed, black hat with a woven leather band tied on the right side. In his hands, he cradled a long barreled Henry rifle, using his body to shade the weapon from the heat of the sun. His canteen lay under a blanket within reach, but despite his nagging thirst, he left it there, conserving what remained in case his chance did not come before nightfall. In the compound of the village a raven stood in the thin shadow of an awning, bill open wide, panting. The mans faded blue eyes fixed on the bird, his mind wandering back to the trail behind him. She was only a child, barely past her tenth year, with long hair black as a raven and velvet brown eyes. She had been a beautiful girl, with a white father and a Mexican mother, the latest in a line of victims on a long bloody trail. He remembered her hair, draped across the sand, and matted to her gingham dress with blood from the stab wounds in her chest. Her wide eyes betrayed the horror of her last moments. Her parents had died quickly, shot through the spine at the bases of their skulls, their bodies untouched, unmoved. The girl had been the goal, the prize, like five others before her. Shaking his head, he snapped himself out of the memory. Every time, the law had told him it was only Indians. No white man could ever commit such a crime as to muti-

Vigilance
late a childs body. But the killer was a gringo, riding a small, scraggly mustang with one front shoe. That gringo had led him to this village south of the border. The man licked his dry lips as his pale eyes again shifted to the short house on the east end of the cluster where his quarry siesta-ed. He felt no anger, only an agitating need for justice in an unjust land. Near the church, the peon on the stoop stirred and began to rise. The man paid him little attention and instead watched the door of the hut. From where he lay on the sand he could hear the hollow clatter of the metal latch against the wooden door. With deliberate hands, the man flipped up the sight at the back of the long rifle. As the weathered panel receded into the darkness of the adobe hut, he shouldered the Henry, positioning the barrel through a narrow shielding gap in the cholla. For a moment, he worried the woman would emerge first, but as the broad masculine form stepped into the sunlight, he drew a deep breath and nestled his cheek against the well-worn stock of the rifle. The gringo moved to the well near the center of town and dipped his hands in the water as the pale right eye lined up the sights and the man exhaled half his breath. The gringo splashed water over his head as the long finger squeezed the trigger in a smooth firm motion. The rifle kicked against his shoulder and the gringo jerked upright as the first bullet cut through his gut. Still calm and deliberate, the man jacked another shell into the chamber of the Henry and squeezed off another shot slightly higher than the first. The gringo turned, facing him, his right hand fumbling for the pistol on his hip.

Rising to his feet, the man jacked a third shell into the chamber and shot the man through the groin. He advanced steadily, his fourth shot piercing the mans neck at the base of his throat. The gringos gun dropped as his body went numb from the bullet piercing his spine. He wilted into the dirt, blood oozing from his gut. As he stared up at his executioner and grinned. The man stared down at him, showing no mercy as he slowly jacked the fifth and last shell into the chamber. Horror filled the gringos eyes as he faced his own death. The man let it linger, to be certain the gringo knew why he died, then he squeezed the trigger. The Henry bucked and the body jerked a final time, then lay still. The gun smoke drifted upward into the white sky with the pale eyes still fixed on the body as he lowered the rifle. The peon emerged timidly from behind the church and crossed the compound as the man cleared the chamber of the Henry and thumbed new shells into the magazine. The door of the hut flew open and a half dressed woman sprinted to the dead man, wailing and weeping. The man turned away, aware of the gathering crowd and started back toward the berm and his horse. Seor. He turned back to the peon, his blue eyes hard. Why you kill this man? He was good to usto his family. The mans eyes drifted over the crowd. No children stood with the adults as the men and women stared angrily at him. He said nothing as he turned away and continued over the short rise recovering his canteen and returning to his horse. He mounted, taking his time to adjust the cinch, all the while keeping the rifle handy. They watched him, their gazes hard. His was equally firm as he turned the tall sorrel and rode north toward the border.

Sporkmans Picks

Vol. 31, Issue 8, Nov. 11, 1977

The staff of The Retort joins the rest of the MSUBillings community in wishing Randy Pugh a speedy recovery following his recent surgery.

1. The Secret of NIMH 2. Cool World 3. The Nightmare Before Christmas 4. The Last Unicorn 5. Animatrix

EMC gymnasts combine to form the worlds highest dire roll: on top, Steve Barret; left to right, 2 row, Greg Sullivan, Kip Kijlu; 3 row, Jay Shaw, Jim Knudston, and Bill Morse; 4 row, Louis Valis, Bill Kaiser, Wes Stradder, and Ted Polette. Staff photo by Peter Barthelmess.

Photos by Nicole Livermont and Olivia Koernig

Spor kman Sporkman

by Dan Hansen