MSU-B S tudent Helps wit MT V Student MTV

Vox Lost Its Voice f or a Da y for Day Page 3 Int ernational International Food F air Fair Again Satisf ies Satisfies Page 5 MSU-B Leader s Earn Leaders Recognition Page 7 Int erest Rat es Interest Rates on Loans About t o Hik e to Hike Page 9 GS At o Plant GSA to Tree in Memor y of Memory Geof f Geoff Fishbaugh Page 12 Nat e and Nate James Duk e It Duke Out Page 14 Two P oe ts Poe oets Share Their Wor k ork Page 22
Photo courtesy of Eric Braun MSU-B Junior Eric Braun spent an alterantive spring break with StormCorps. Braun was one of 100 disaster relief. young people who participated Braun, who is an Educain the MTV and United Way tion major, saw a commercial on More than six months Alternative Spring Break from MTV about the program only have passed since Hurricane March 11 through March 18 in two days before the application Katrina unleashed its fury on the Biloxi, Miss. This was the first deadline. He acted fast and southern United States. Now that of what should be a recurring turned in his application, which the destruction has ceased to philanthropic effort. The group, consisted of background informake front page headlines, some dubbed StormCorps, performed mation, volunteer history and people may have forgotten the Being in Montana, w e see this stuf f but it we stuff extent of the damage. Not the ne ver happens here. -Eric Braun case with MSU-Billings Junior nev Eric Braun. two essays. Braun was selected from around 4,500 initial applicants, which were reduced to about 2,000 after weeding out all incomplete applications. Braun is a Billings West High graduate and volunteers with the American Lung Association. In his essays, Braun wrote that hed like to help with the rebuilding effort because of the disconnect he feels someSee ST ORMCORPS page 8 STORMCORPS

The Beat of a Different Drummer

Diff The Beat of a Dif ferent Drummer

The word pow wow comes from the Narragansett word powwaw, which means one who has visions, according to Dictonary.com. By 1780, the verb pow wow, to confer, was recorded. Today, the word means the event of Native American Indians gathering in celebration. It also means the act of attending or participating in the gathering; and its also used to describe a person who attends powwows regularly, as in, hes a real pow wow guy. March 30 and April 1 marked the highest grossing ASMSU-B/ Intertribal Indian Club (ITIC) Pow wow to date. The 38th Annual event saw nearly 5,000 in attendance over the weekend. ITIC President Big Wind Windy Boy organized what many are saying was the best pow wow Continued on bac k page back

Bo xt own Boxt xto Endures Y et Ye Ano ther Rain y Another Rainy Night
The Chapter for Habitat for Humanity on campus has organized yet another boxtown this year. The Habitat for Humanity chapter has been doing volunteer work and helping around the community for some time now. The club on campus is going strong with a corps of volunteers. There are about 15 that are regular, explained Annie Snedigar, sophomore and president of the Habitat for Humanity organization campus. As in the past, 2001 and 2005, they have endured the worst of the weather. When questioned on the weather and how they will react See BO XT OWN page 8 BOXT XTO

Photo by Matt Langman One young dancer proudly executes a traditional dance.

tor t Visit us online at msubillings.edu/re msubillings.edu/ret ort

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Editor in Chief...............Olivia Koernig Business Manager...........Yacine Zerizef Faculty Advisor.............Nancy Swanson Layout Editor................Dana Livermont Ad Manager...........................Niki Porter Copy Editor...............Amanda Patterson News Editor.....................Brie Radovich A & E Editor.................Melissa DeVries Sports Editor..........................Jed Barton Photo Editor................Nicole Livermont Reporter..................................VACANT Reporter..................................VACANT Photographer...................Matt Langman Staff Writer..........................Paul Jangula Staff Writer..................Miranda Breding Staff Writer......................Nate Petterson Staff Writer......................... James Ruess Staff Writer........................Jessica Wade Staff Writer...........................Lisa Halpin Cartoonist............................Dan Hansen Columnist.........................Mike Schrage

Some lessons you only have to learn once. Like pepper spray for example: thats the kind of lesson that you only learn one time. Recently, my seven-year-old sprayed my pepper spray in the house. Any warning or attempt at explaining its effects beforehand would be pale in comparison to the burning, coughing, watering, crying, real-life-lesson that ensued. Now all three of my children know what pepper spray is all about. They understand its power, as in, You better knock it off or Ill spray you with moms pepper spray. Ah, sibling rivalry Other lessons take a little more teaching before theyre fully absorbed. Like putting off homework or drinking too much. Some mornings, when Im still awake finishing an assignment Ive known about for weeks, I think Im nearing a breakthrough. As in, I will never wait til the last minute to do my homework again. In fact, Im going to avoid this debacle by completing my homework the same day its assigned. Or better yet, Ill finish my homework before its even assigned! I know the logistics there are questionable; remember its after Ive stayed up all night. The other example is when I accidentally become exponentially more intoxicated than I would have hoped. Luckily, for me this happens very infrequently. Otherwise, I really would have to swear off alcohol for life (as Im professing on such occasions through the agony of a hangover). But there is progress with these lessonsits just slow. And then there are the lessons that you never really learn. For many people, these are the interpersonally-related lessons that seem to give us the most trouble. They manifest in the person who seeks a fixer-upper in relationships. Of course, it never works out because hobby-significant others are usually more costly and unreliable than a hobby car. Sure, weve all seen an amazing restoration project at completion, but, seriously, who has the time or resources? Alas, there are those who consistently seek out these types of people to date, marry and love. This type of learning the hard way is just unavoidable for some of us. I think I

may be one of them. Im a hands-on learner. I need to see it to believe it. I seem to have some sort of interpersonal learning disability. I just never seem to get it when it comes to certain individuals in my life. I dont usually go for the fixer uppers, though, emotionally unavailable is more my speed. Not to worry, emotional unavailability is just as rewarding at the end of the day. No, I mean it. It really is. We are all motivated in life by some sort of payoff. The return with a spritz of pepper spray to the face is (not surprisingly) low. This explains why you never have to do it more than once. Not the case with procrastinating or drinking. Its easy to rationalize putting things off if you spend the time you should have utilized wisely leisurely instead. Same goes for drinking. After a couple of days, the memory of the headache and general suckiness of a hangover fades and youre left with oftentimes hilarity of a night out with friends. As for people skills, its roughly the same idea. Sometimes the fixer-upper offers the precise psychological fit to make one feel right. Even if it ends badly (again and again), the payoff ultimately outweighs the discomfort. But that its better to have loved and lost philosophy is hard to acknowledge when nursing a bruised ego, sorting though confusion of mind or mending a broken heart. I guess the best way to accelerate that particular learning curve is with some sort of conditioning. My advice is to fall recklessly, hopelessly unabashedly in love, during which time you will most likely fall behind on all homework, housework or other. When things go sour in your relationship, go out immediately and drink until overcome with frat-boy drunkenness. The next day, when youre agonizing over your own vomit, the heap of overdue tasks and wondering where good love gone bad, deliver a direct hit of pepper spray to the nasal and/or optical orifices. Thatll learn ya.

Guideline & Policies The Retort encourages the submission of letters to the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length and include name, signature, and phone number. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Retort is published twice a month. Letters must be sumitted by the Friday after the most recnt issue date. The Retort is made possible in part by student fees allocated by ASMSU-Billings. The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advises The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opinions expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of its members, the university, students, nor student, state, or federal governments.

Dear Editor, I would just like to point out a minor error in the Retort from April 4. On the front page, you stated that the Northcutt Steele gallery is for student work, and that is a place for students to show off their talents to peers. The Northcutt Steele Gallery is actually primarily used to display the work of visiting professional artists, as well as art faculty members. It is a respected professional gallery, and for students to have their artwork chosen for display in the juried shows is an honor. The student gallery, which is adjacent to the Northcutt Steele, is where senior level art majors hang their best work from the upper level art classes when they hold their senior shows. The purpose of this is not just to show off their talent, but also to teach them how to prepare for, design, and hang their own show. The endof-semester show, which hangs in the outer gallery (the first floor of the LA building) for the last weeks of each semester, is a chance for students who have taken art classes to show the school what they have accomplished. Thank you for allowing me to clarify these points, as your brief description of the gallerys purpose was misleading. Sincerely, Jill Westendorp Stout

Club Connections: Raise Y our V ox f or R epr oductiv e Rights Your Vo for Repr eproductiv oductive
said McDanel. Peoples shirts spawned class discussions, which were really constructive. Some men would be offended to be April 7 was the end of a busy week for Vox as they held a bake sale in the LA. told they were womanly in some way; the phrase throw like a girl comes to mind. The money raise will be used to keep the However for Dr. Mark Hardt of the club going. In the future, proceeds Dept. of Sociology, Political Scifrom fundraising events will be ence and Native American Studused to send members to events ies it was maybe the best compliheld in Missoula, Bozeman or posment of his life. While attending a sibly even in Washington, D.C. conference at Oxford focusing on On a national level, Vox gender issues and discrimination, supports the right of each indithe panel dubbed Hardt as an vidual to manage his or her own honorary female. fertility. Vox strives to assist eduSo Hardts involvement in cational programs which teach the the reformulation of the campus medical and sociological aspects chapter of Vox: Voices for Planned of human sexuality. Vox also has Parenthood was no surprise to access to full comprehensive rethose who know him. Hardt colproductive services and birth conlaborated with NARAL Protrol. The organization also fights Choice America (National Aborfor legislation supporting equality tion and Reproductive Rights Acin access to health services for all tion League) and sought student people, as a liaison with national participation. Joining Hardt (facand international reproductive Photo courtesy of Amelia McDanel freedom efforts and to educate the ulty advisor) and Vox are President Lynn Demarais, Vice President Vox members wore T-shirts that said Thank you for deciding whats best for me. public on all the issues associated Alicia Esteves, Secretary Amelia therein. catchphrase, Keep your laws off my body. McDanel, Treasurer Sara Schantz and to the Retort. The club meets the second and Publicity Manager Jim Del Duca. Demarais also wrote, We are cur- Of these 25 students, two were men and fourth Mondays of the month in LA 804 The club, which has only seven rently working with political activists for some even wore painting masks as a repre- at 2 p.m. Meetings are open and all are sentation of the voicelessness supporters of encouraged to attend. Anyone interested members, is new this semester. In spite of the support of womens rights. the organizations youth and the lean memOn April 3 about 25 students wore the pro-choice movement sometimes feel. in more information may contact Dr. Hardt Most of the response was positive, at 657-2991. bership, Vox has been making its voice homemade T-shirts in demonstration of heard around the MSU-Billings campus. The clubs main goal on the campus is to bring awareness to our classmates regarding issues such as freedom of choice, sex education in public schools and birth control methods, wrote Demarais in an email their support of reproductive rights and against the anti-choice legislation in South Dakota. Some wore slogans saying, No choice, no voice. Others featured the sarcastic, Thanks for deciding whats best for me, while others donned the pro-choice

Wor kout f or Some thing Other than W eight Loss ork for Something Weight
Rela yf or Lif e elay for Life
One day. One night. One community. The Relay for Life takes place at the Billings West High track. It begins at 7:00 p.m. on Friday July 7 and ends at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, July 8. Relay for Life is put on by the American Cancer Society (ASC) to raise money for cancer research. It is a good way for cancer survivors and people who have been touched by cancer at some point in their lives to comfort and console one another. The American Cancer Society is a nationwide, community-based volunteer health organization. It is dedicated to eliminating cancer through prevention, research, education and service. ACS has saved millions of lives. It has contributed to almost every major discovery in cancer research, including better ways to prevent, detect and treat cancer. The Society also provides high school and college students with scholarships if the student was diagnosed with cancer when he/ she was under the age of 21. The maximum scholarship is $10,000 per student, amounting to $2,500 each academic year. ACS sponsors many programs and services which help to lessen fears and inspire those individuals, all of which are free and made possible through donations. There are many different services here in Billings. To name a few, there are five area Quality of Life programs and Reach to Recovery, where recovered breast cancer patients help newly diagnosed patients with their emoall the members from each team. Each team gets to pick a theme and they dress up for their one lap. There have been themes of Halloween, where they dressed in costumes, and teams, six of them new, and they have raised over $6,000 so far.

MS W alk and Bik eT our Walk Bike Tour

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a disease that affects mil-

Graphic by Nicole Livermont Several charities in the next few months will rely on the participation of local samaritans. tions. To find out more about these programs visit http:// www.cancer.org , or call the 24 hour toll free hotline at 1800-ACS-2345. To raise money, team members ask for donations around neighborhoods or workplaces. There are also luminarias for sale. They are paper bags with a cancer patients name on it and are lit around the track at nightfall, and can be purchased for a loved one. Sponsors, such as the Billings Gazette and Underriner Motors, donate large sums of money to the cause. All of the money raised goes to help people within the Billings area to fight cancer. The day of the Relay, the cancer survivors walk one lap as the surrounding crowd cheers them on. The second lap of the evening consists of princesses where they dressed in all pink and wore crowns. For the rest of the night, at least one member from the team has to be on the track at all times. There is free food most of the night, short massages, movies that play in the middle of the track, and a free breakfast in the early morning hours. There is an opportunity to donate blood late into the night and again the next day. If you are able to, you are encouraged to donate. If you are planning to form a team, team captains pay $100 to start, but the general participants and cancer survivors do not pay anything. To join a committee, such as food, prize, or luminaria, call Kim Kaiser at 256-7156. You can also visit their website at www.acsevents.org/relay/ mt/yellowstone. There are 82 lions of Americans a year. MS is caused by nerve lesions that disturb electrical conduction in one or more areas of the central nervous system. Common symptoms are fatigue, weakness, balance problems, tremors and depression. Fatigue is the most common, but patient symptoms vary. Some patients get more symptoms than others and the symptoms last longer. The location of the lesion causes the different symptoms. For example, if the lesion is on the optic nerve, then the patient could have blurred vision. Right now there are no specific tests. Doctors look at the patients history, do neurological tests, MRIs, Spinal Taps and look at potentials. The diagnosis ultimately comes from discussion be-

tween the patient and doctor. There are two treatments, both more effective if they are started immediately. One treats the symptoms and the other tries to control the duration and severity of the attacks. The need for more research money is why the National Multiple Sclerosis Society puts on the MS Walk and the MS Bike Tour. The MS Walk and MS Bike Tour are held every year. The Society works off private donations, grants, sponsorships and fund-raising campaigns, like the MS Walk. They search for the cause of MS and hopefully someday they will develop a cure. So far, they have found that ongoing treatment with FDA approved drugs reduces future disease activity and improves the quality of life for those patients. The Society also provides programs and services for MS patients and families and caregivers who have had the disease touch their lives. Most of the services are free, but a few require a minimal fee. MS patients who are registered with the office receive a quarterly newspaper and mailings about upcoming events. Visit www.nationalmssociety.org or call 1-800 FIGHT MS to learn about management and the most current research on MS. The MS Bike Tour, also named the Bike to Beartooths, will be September 9 and 10. It is about 145 miles from Billings to Red Lodge. Every twelve or so miles, there is a break to rest a little. The route is different from last year since the Beartooth highway is under construction. The MS Walk will be on May 6. It begins at the LDS Church on Wicks Lane in the Heights with registration beginning at 8:30 a.m. There is either a three or six-mile course. The race extends until 1:00 p.m. and lunch is provided. If that day does not work for you and are willing to travel, there are MS walks in Butte, Bozeman, and Helena on May 13, and in Missoula and Great Falls on May 20. If you are unable to walk, you can donate money or buy a wristband that is $1.00 off at the website. The Osco Drug MS Walk is sponsored by First Interstate Bank, the Billings Gazette, and Pepsi, among others. Last year 1,200 people participated and the Walk raised $162,000 towards MS research.

Int ernational F ood F air Of fer saT ast e of the W orld International Food Fair Off ers Tast aste World
On March 29, roughly 300 people attended the International Studies Clubs Third Annual International Food Fair. The fair was held in the SUB Ballroom and attendees not only got to sample foods from around the world, but also saw Aikido demonstrations and Native American dance. They could participate in breaking open a piata or trying on a suit for some pseudo-Sumo wrestling. Japanese exchange student Asami Soto was a third time participant in the fair and said, When we first started, no one came, now more people are interested. Professor Melinda Tilton brought her Cross Culture Communication class to the fair. Tyler Munson, a sophomore studying Organizational Communication, made his first trip to the food fair with the class. He said, I think its great! I thought it would be a lot lower key and smaller. Munson tried food from Italy, China, Mexico and Japan. The Cross Culture Communication students also thought the Mexican chili and spring rolls from the Philippines were amazing. Mike Ashworth said, The sushi was delectable and I also got some M&Ms from the piata, now Im gonna go experience some International dessert. David OBrien, a pre-pharmacy student at MSU-B, came to the fair because he was hungry. Nancy Warwick, who won a Chinese letter opener in a door prize drawing, said, Last year was my first time and I really liked it. She tried Indian food for the first time this year. Lena Eger, a German exchange student studying music and English, said of the food fair, I think its great. Yesterday we spent seven hours in the kitchen baking. I was so exhausted. Egers German food included Apfelkuchen (applecake) and Hefekranz (sweet bread). Chinese exchange student Ben Liu spent two and a half hours preparing the fried dumplings that many at the fair enjoyed. An Albanian-born exchange student from Greece, Erinda Shehu, cooked up shishkebabs, tzatziki (dressing of sour cream and cucumbers), home-made French fries and feta cheese cakes for the fair. Shehu, an art student, said she spent nearly a full day cooking food for the fair. Naoko Katoh, a freshman exchange student from Japan, contributed sushi and shogayaki (pork and vegetables) to the fair. She said. Its hard to make a lot, but everyone likes it, so its fun.

Photo by Miranda Breding Dr. St. John Robinson ladels out a portion of his authentic Belizian food.

Phi Alpha The ta Bac k fr om Conf erence Theta Back from Conference
Several MSU-Billings students and most of the History Department recently took a trip to Boise, April 7-9 for the annual Phi Alpha Theta Conference. They read history papers in front of various panels for feedback and experience. The professors that attended were Tom Rust, Matt Redinger, and Keith Edgerton. History Club President Anna Johnson and Archivist Shane Fairbanks read papers titled Emergent Extremism: The Case of Lee Harvey Oswald and the Walker Affair, and Brutality, Parsimony, and Militarism: The Changing Historiography of Frederick William I, King in Prussia respectively. Other student submissions included Holly Pullars, A Consideration of Sor Juana, Matt Felts, Slavery, Politics, and Abolitionism in 19 th Century America: La Amistad and the Just War for Abolition, Kaili Paynes Catullus Dirty Little Bird: Decoding Catullus II in Its Historical Context, Cami Raineys We Can Go to the Moon: Project Apollo and the 1960s, CodyLou Tauberts Race, Class, and Color in Colonial Brazil, and Darin L. MacCatherines The Blue and the Grey: A Cherokee Nation Divided. MSU-Billings was well represented and those involved thought it went well. It can be pretty harrowing to get in front of a group of people and read a paper, even more so when they are critiquing it as well.

Photo courtesy of Phi Alpha Theta. PAT poses for a pic during a recent trip to Boise.

April is time to think about things such as upcoming Finals, stress, summer break, and for some, alcohol. April is also Alcohol Awareness Month, which provides an opportunity to look at safer alcohol usage. When it comes to making choices about alcohol, remember that you have options. Alcohol isnt a black/white issue, meaning its not a completely good or bad thing. If you think about your

or your friends experiences with alcohol, most likely you could classify some consequences as good and others as not so good. Some college students ideas of good things about alcohol may include: relaxation; feeling more comfortable in talking to people, especially members of the opposite sex; having fun; having a mild buzz; the taste; unwinding from a hard week, etc. When asked what are some not so good things about alcohol, college students often list: hangovers; doing something regrettable or embarrassing; unplanned hookups; expense; driving under the influence; wasting time; sexual assaults; fights, and other negative consequences. So how do you maximize the good and minimize the not so good? Remember NOT to drink when you are experiencing one or more letters in HALT. HALT is an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Hunger is listed because alcohol enters your sys-

tem very quickly on an empty stomach. Angry is listed since intense emotions such as anger are amplified with alcohol. Its unhealthy and potentially dangerous to drinking when youre lonely, since again, intense emotions are amplified and you may do something to harm yourself under the influence. Tired is listed because alcohol is a depressant, and coupling being tired with a depressant can be a lethal combination. The vast majority of good things often linked with drinking are associated with low BAC (blood alcohol content) levels. For people who havent developed a tolerance to alcohol, this means having no more than 2 drinks for women and no more than 3 drinks for men. This isnt meant as a recommendation to drink that amount or to offer a guarantee, but research consistently finds that college students who maintain a zero or low level BAC have far fewer negative consequences than do their peers who drink more.

How do you maintain a low BAC level? There are several strategies to use even before the party starts. First consider not having any alcohol at all. Explore other options for dealing with stress rather than drinking. Spend less time with people who tend to drink more than you like. Avoid social situations where heavy drinking will occur, and/or develop ways to be more comfortable in social situation without using alcohol. What options do you have at the next party that you find yourself drinking? Use the buddy system, meaning you and your friends all arrive and leave the party together, a designated driver is behind the wheel, and no one gets left behind. Avoid drinking games. Keep track of the number of drinks you have. Pace your drinks to one per hour, and alternate alcoholic with non-alcoholic drinks. Eat before and while drinking. Finally, if you choose not to drink or to stop drinking, be assertive and clear about your choice. Take care and stay healthy.

Billings, Y ouv e Come a Long W ay, Bab y! Youv ouve Wa Baby!

All the students that attend MSUB are part of Billings in some way. If it is your home where you have lived your whole life, or if it is only your home for the time you are attending college, it is important to know the history. Did you know that Montana was founded in November of 1889 or that Billings was a railroad town that consisted mainly of people living in tents? Do you know the state flower or the state animal? College students who are from another town should know the history of the city so that they can partake in the things that people will remember hundreds of years from now. Billings was founded in 1882 by Frederick H. Billings, who was the president of the Northern Pacific Railroad from 1879-1881. He was an American lawyer and financier from Vermont. The Northern Pacific Railroad was the first transcontinental railroad and the first hope of connecting the east and west. The Magic City got its name because it sprung up like magic. The town grew quickly and magically. Billings was laid out by the Minnesota and Montana Land and Improvement Company when they bought grant lands in the area, 40 miles on both sides of the railroad tracks. It has doubled its population about every thirty years since its founding. There has been a steady population growth since the 1960s, which brings more and more people, all looking for work in the expanding job market. The big boom of people began in May of 1882 and until then there were only three buildings: a wooden structure on Montana Avenue between 28th St. and 29th St. which housed the railroad engineers and construction supervisors (called Headquarters Hotel), a store on Minnesota Avenue, and a home on Montana Avenue and 27th Street. After one month Billings opened for settlement; 5,000 lots sold for cash. By the fall of 1882, there were 155 business houses and 10 more being built, 99 homes with three more under construction, six railroad buildings, 25 tents, and one church. The most recent census says that the Billings population is 101,182 in a 500 mile radius, making Billings the largest city in Montana. There are approximately 6.2 people per square mile. The first white settlers came in 1877. Dating back 10,000 years before that, an assortment of Indian tribes lived on this land. The Sioux, Shoshone, Crow, and Blackfeet tribes all inhabited this land at some time in the past. The different tribes left pictographs and petroglyphs behind for people to study nowadays. The Montana state bird is the western meadowlark, the flower is the bitterroot, and the animal is a grizzly bear. The state motto is Oro y Plata, which is Spanish for gold and silver.

The intersection of Broadway Street and 2nd Avenue N. has changed considerably since 1919.

Good For All Students With Valid ID Mon-Fri $2.00 OFF Green Fees
19th & Central 652.2553

See You Golfing!

Montana F air Housing t o Present Fair to Inf ormation and A wards at Annual Information Aw Conf erence Conference
In recognition of National F air Housing Month, Montana F air Housing Fair Fair (MFH) is holding its annual conf erence in F airmont Ho t Springs, April conference Fairmont Hot 20 & 2 1, 2006. 21 The conference will provide information on a range of fair housing topics including an overview of federal and state fair housing laws, a review of recent case law in the nation, advertising provisions, requests for reasonable accommodations and/or modifications, Design and Construction provisions, and the Montana Landlord and Tenant Law. The fee for the conference is $95, including lunch and dinner on the 20th, at which time MFHs annual awards will be distributed. These awards are given to individuals/organizations that have made positive efforts to further fair housing in Montana. Montana Fair Housings mission is to ensure that ALL Montanans have equal access to decent, accessible and affordable housing, and that no one is subjected to unlawful discrimination in any aspect of the housing industry, including sales, rental, lending and insurance transactions. For fur ther inf ormation or t o regist er f or the conf erence, please further information to register for conference, air Housing at 800/929.26 11 , 406/5 42.26 11 or Fair 800/929.2611 11, 406/542.26 42.2611 contact Montana F mfhzng@montana.com

MSU-B Leader sR ecognized f or Their Contributions Leaders Recognized for

Tuesday, April 11, Montana State University-Billings held its 11th annual Leadership Recognition Program dinner in the Student Union Ballroom. The Leadership Recognition Program is an opportunity for individuals and organizations within MSU-B to be recognized for outstanding achievements. Over one hundred letters of nomination were sent in to the 2006 Leadership Awards Selection Committee, made up of Lindsay Blackburn, Dan Carter, Becky Lyons, Jacee Martin and Derek Shaw. Annual nominations come from students, faculty or advisors. Jeannie McIsaac Tracy, Director of Student Life and Housing, hosted the event. Once everyone had arrived the dinner was underway with a Keynote Presentation from Bruce Whittenberg, Executive Director of Leadership Montana. The categories were as follows with the winner(s) marked with an asterisk. Emerging S tudent Leader A ward Student Aw Angela Miller Jonna Jones* Lindsay Stocker Gillette Vaira Jose Araya Matthew Harris Sarah McIntyre Int ernational S tudent Leader A ward International Student Aw Jose Araya* Peer Educat or A ward Educator Aw Christy Schwartz Jenny Wilkins* Andrew Nedens Charlotte Kobold Kelly Buck Tara Sorenson* Terez Rector Student Emplo yee Leader ship A ward Employ Leadership Aw Charlotte Kobold* Ikuko Valgenti Kelly Buck Brian Gus Redfern Outstanding R esidential Leader Residential Award James Short Julia Schmitt* Jonna Jones Lindsay Stocker* Outstanding R esident Assistant Resident Award Brian Gus Redfern* Striving f or Ex cellence in Leader ship for Excellence Leadership or Ones F amily A ward for Family Aw While Caring f Jenny Wilkins Kelly Buck* Charlotte Kobold Lisa Bessasparis Tara Sorenson Traci Ball Matthew Dave Decker Outstanding S tudent V olunt eer A ward Student Volunt olunteer Aw Amanda Cecil* Scott Steinbacher Athle tic Leader ship A ward thletic Leadership Aw Sam Buddy Windy Boy Kristy Burns* Kayla McCamish Zach Abels Outstanding Member of an Organization A ward Aw Amanda Mears Jose Araya Julia Johnson Mandy Crichton Steven Pittenger Vanessa Kukes Jenna Newman Josh Ball* Lindsay Stocker Ruby Chunkapura* Tate Weinberg Kim Iron Prudence Jo Hulman Outstanding President of the Y ear Year Award Brian White Jessica Haan* Kyla McCamish Annie Snedigar Kevin Majewski Olivia Koernig Shannon Shingleton Outstanding A dvisor of the Y ear Advisor Year Award Steven Peterman Kim Woeste* Kristin Peterman Senior Leader ship A ward Leadership Aw Prudence Jo Hulman* Brian White* Unsung Her oA ward Hero Aw Kelli Grantham Valerie Sperry Mary Morup Steven Peterman Dan Carter* Outstanding S tudent Senat or A ward Student Senator Aw Stacie Dix* Outstanding A dministrat or A ward Administrat dministrator Aw Curt Kochner* Outstanding Organization Ser vice Service Pr oject A ward Project Aw MSU-Billings Blood Drive Student Volunteers International Food Fair International Studies Club Martin Luther King Jr. Day Program* MSU-B AmeriCorp Team The Price is Right at St. Johns Student Activities Board Spring Break Build 2006 Habitat for Humanity Fall Carnival Womens and Family Shelter Circle K

Outstanding Organization Pr ogram or Program Ev ent Event Weekly Coffee House Ministries Baptist Collegiate Ministries International Food Fair International Studies Club Sunday Socials Residence Hall Association Powder Puff Footbal Student Activities Board Outstanding Cultural Organization Award International Studies Club* Intertribal Indian Club Outstanding Leader ship/Campus Leadership/Campus Pr ogramming A ward Programming Aw Student Activities Board* Jacket Student Ambassadors Outstanding Ser vice A ward Service Aw Circle K* Outstanding Special Int erest A ward Interest Aw Jacket Junkies* Outstanding Organization Ov erall Overall International Studies Club Intertribal Indian Club Student Activities Board* Jacket Student Ambassadors Circle K Jacket Junkies Presenting the Awards were Dr. Ronald Sexton, Chancellor, and Curt Kochner, Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs.

Well we made it through another semester! There wasnt a whole lot of activity lately, just a smattering of minor instances. 3-19 Someone tried to steal a pizza delivery car from the Rimrock parking lot, but was

quickly apprehended after trying to exit onto N 27th from the east end of the lot. He ditched the car and tried to flee on foot, but didnt make it very far. He was charged with unlawful use of a vehicle and obstruction of justice. 3-20 Somebodys car was egged in the Petro lot. Takes

me back to the sixth grade, eh? 3-26 Another lesson to be learned in the fine art of holding it. A person stopped at the sign in the Rimrock lot, exited their vehicle, urinated, and was spotted by an officer. The suspect tried to run, was caught, and it was discovered he had a warrant for his arrest.

He was given an MIP and taken to jail by the Billings Police Department. 3-27 An unknown person or persons vandalized the downtown campus sign by cutting out the school logo. They also hit a coffee shop. 3-30 A car was keyed and the tire was slashed in the

Cisel Hall parking lot. 4-3 Someone stole a projector from the open gallery in the basement of the Liberal Arts building that a student was using for a show. Thats all for now. I hope everyone has a safe and fun summer. See you all next year.

Maje wski Wins! Majewski

Following a tie during the ASMSUB presidential election between candidates Matt Harris and Kevin Majewski, a run-off election was held Aril 4 and 5. In the initial election, both Harris and Majewski received 336 votes. Additionally there were three write-in votes causing stir within the ASMSU-B judiciary branch: one vote read Kevin Majewski, another read Matt Harris and a third vote read only Harris. The Supreme

Court ruled the three write-in votes invalid since they did not reflect a candidate who was not on the ballot. After the ruling, the ASMSU-B election officials scheduled the runoff. In spite of renewed campaigning efforts by Harris, Majewski won the election with 391 votes to Harriss 317. This years election marked the highest student body turnout in the polls in years. Nearly 15 percent of enrolled students participated in this election. Last years election only saw a six percent voter turnout.

Jessi s Pic ks Jessis Picks

1. On the Waterfront 2. Out of Africa 3. The Lord of the Rings 4. Waiting for Guffman 5. Adaptation

ST ORMCORPS fr ompage 1 Hands On. About half the vol- ting up 50-ft. fallen trees and re- some of the teams. STORMCORPS frompage unteers took their skills to Foley, moving them as 50-pound logs. We were getting to our times as a Montanan. Being in Montana, we Ala. while the others stayed in Other efforts included gutting breaking point by the time we see this stuff but it never happens Biloxi. Together the groups and the insides of homes to make got to start breaking stufftaking sledgehammers to cast iron here. We have fires and stuff, but their Hands On leaders went them ready for renovation. The StormCorps vol- bathtubs, laughed Braun. they never really reach residen- around Biloxi and Foley helping The end of the week tial areas, Braun said. Theres with the rebuilding efforts. Some unteers, who ranged in age from tasks included tearing down 18 to 25, camped in co-ed tents was spent conducting surveys on nothing on that scale. The first day of the trip, sheds and outbuildings and gath- which were set up inside large the residential streets of Biloxi. Braun and the other young ering the debris and garbage for army-style tents. Braun said that The teams set out with maps people spent their time mingling removal. One especially physi- by the third day, the close quar- showing all the houses in each and getting to know one another. cally demanding task was cut- ters were starting to really get to quadrant. They were told to put an X on their sheets On the second day, to signify empty lots the group toured where houses had Biloxi. Braun said he been. Braun said his was told that Biloxi sheet was mostly filled was once bustling in with Xs by the with casinos and end of the day. When bumper to bumper they did find people to traffic but was now talk to Braun said that nearly deserted. He was the hardest part of said the degree of dethe whole experience. struction far exOne guy we ceeded his expectatalked to whose tions. whole family was There were no from Biloxi said he kids anywhere; still cant find one of schools arent open, his brothers, said said Braun. Its like a Braun. Doing surghost town really. veys, we saw a differStorm C o r p s ent perspective. had groups of eight Photo courtesy of Eric Braun A common teamed up with memThe StormCorps poses with Biloxi locals on the foundation of a demolished shed. sentiment among the bers of a national reEric Braun is fifth from the left, in the back row. Biloxi inhabitants lief group called BO XT OWN fr om page 1 BOXT XTO from when the rain set in Kim Woeste, staff advisor for the campus Habitat for Humanity Chapter, said, Well stick it out. We have tarps on everything. Last year a rainstorm also happened to hit on boxtown day. Last year there werent a few showers; there were a few hours of solid pouring. Some made it all night, Snedigar said cheerfully. The tone of the president and the confidence of the group made it seem like all night in the rain wasnt so bad and that Boxtown would be a complete success this year. As the brave Habitat volunteers tied to survive the night they were joined by other organizations on campus. The RHA, Chi Alpha, ASMSUB and Student Council for Exceptional Children (SCEC) were all toughing the weather next to them. hy do they do this, you may ask yourself. Its obvious that nobody likes to be freezing cold and soaking wet for the dura-

Braun talked to was one of hesitance. Braun said people expressed fear of rebuilding in the same place in case another hurricane strikes. In spite of their trying circumstances, Braun said he was astounded to see the way the people were living. Those whose homes were completely destroyed were given FEMA trailers (like a fifthwheel) to live in for two years until their homes were rebuilt or they relocate. It was amazing that people could go from a relatively large nice house into trailers no bigger than this room, said Braun. One lady even came out and cooked us lunch. Braun said that the damage still visible all over Biloxi shouldnt have been as big of a shock as it was. The city is on a 10-year rebuilding plan, so a little more than six months isnt long comparatively. The most important thing for him, though, is that people need to assist one another, especially in times of crisis. Just because were here in Montana doesnt mean we cant help out, said Braun. Every little bit helps.

Vol. 19, Issue 9, Dec. 3, 1965

tion of an entire night. We do it to raise awareness of homelessness and the need of affordable safe housing, explained Woeste. The group seems set on proving a point at the expense of their self comfort for the night. Its awesome that there are students willing to do this, stay out all night and feel what its like to be homeless, Woeste explained with a smile. Habitat for Humanity is active year round and is always accepting new faces. They do a lot of community service and fundraising around Billings. For more information on the organization on campus and getting involved you can talk to either Snedigar or Woeste as you see them around campus or call Snedigar at 657-2780. You are also welcome to contact Woeste in her office at SUB 207 or the clubs email is msubh4h@hotmail.com. For information on Habitat for Humanity off campus you can go to their website at www.habitat.org.

Barbara Matthews, Lewistown freshman, is one reason why the drawing class is so popular. Besides being a model for the class, she was elected IK Dutchess. Its not really surprising.
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Paybac k: Benef its t oS tudents Incurring Loans yback: Benefits to Students

The end of the semester is but a month away, and some of you lucky people get the coveted degree youve worked so hard for. Congratulations and all that fanfare, but, and this isnt meant to bring you down, six months after you graduate youll start getting bills for the loans you incurred while going to school. Six months is the grace period graduates get before the lenders decide they want their money back. It takes the average graduate ten years to pay off the average loan or loans. There are several loans you can get while going to college. Stafford loans, Perkins loans, and PLUS Loans are a few. Stafford loans come from banks and credit unions, and the federal government insures the loans making the lenders more willing to provide loans. Stafford loans can be subsidized or unsubsidized. Subsidized means that the government will pay the interest on your loans, and unsubsidized means that you have to pay the interest. PLUS Loans are when your parents borrow money for you to go to school. The interest rate for new loans, right now, is 4.7 percent, and for current loans it is 5.3 percent. The bad news is that on July 1 the interest rates are going to go up. The good news it is you can lock in the current interest rates on your loans. It is common for students to have a number of different kinds of loans from a number of places. If you consolidate your loans before July 1 you can lock the interest at the current rates. Consolidating loans is simply putting all the money you owe in one place so you pay one place for all loans. It does mean that you will be paying your loans back for a longer period of time, but the monthly payment will be lower and with a locked-in interest rate your payments wont fluctuate from year to year every July 1. To consolidate your loans contact the Student Assistance Foundation. They have an office on campus in McMullen Hall; room 106, in the phone number is 657-1639. They can help you fill out your consolidation application in their office. The Student Assistance Foundation also offers other programs to help students with college costs like Payle$$ Rebates, Acce$$ Grants, and Swift$tart Rebates. The best advice for any student with loans is to keep track of how much you are borrowing, and who are your debtors. Knowing the status of your loan accounts is the best and easiest way to avoid nasty surprises after graduation. The penalties for defaulting on student loans can be severe. You will never again qualify for financial aid, so, no graduate school. Your income tax returns or other government checks can be withheld. Credit bureaus are notified making your credit worthless, and collections costs can be up to 42 percent of the defaulted loan. Your wages can be garnished, and there is no statute of limitations on defaulted loans, so the collections agencies can and will follow you into old age. So what is the status of your loan accounts?

Student Loan Interest Rate Changes

9.00% 8.50% 8.00% 7.50% 7.00% 6.50% 6.00% 5.50% 5.00% 4.50% 4.00% 19921994 19941995 19951998 Year PLUS loan Stafford loan 19982006 20072008

Graph by Nicole Livermont Interest rates on student loans will soon increase.

12th Plane t Of fer s Out of This W orld Club Scene Planet Off ers World
nership sued, claiming that Tiara was much larger than allowed. Work on the project stopped and costs soared from On Friday, March 24, the much $5.5 million to more than $11 million. anticipated Entertainment Complex Keith agreed to cut his two-story plans 12th Planet finally opened its doors af- down to one-and-a-half, but in July of ter four years of planning and 11 mil- 2005, Macerich Company sought a lion dollars in expenses. This was con- permanent injunction against 12 th sidered a soft opening with the Planet, which was denied by Judge Grand Opening scheduled at the end Gregory Todd. Even though the doors are open, the battle is far from over. After 12 th Planet opened, Macerich Co. placed 23 temporary signs on three sides of the entertainment complex which read No 12 th Planet Parking. The city told Macerich Co. that the signs violate code, so new perPhoto by Nicole Livermont manent signs are 12th Planet will soon be hosting many popular artists. now being conof April. Even so, the club was packed structed. to the brim with local revelers, develEven though the battle rages on, opers, builders, and everyone who once inside the door all youll find is worked to make the club a reality, or fun. The 12th Planet is the ultimate in was just curious. modern nightclubs oops, entertainThe opening marked a triumph ment complexes. It feels very futurfor 12 th Planet owner, Philip Keith, istic, said first time visitor Lydia who has been battling Rimrock Mall ONeill. Futuristic, Vegas-yyou be and its parent company, Macerich the judge. The five bars are surRimrock Limited Partnership for rounded by stainless steel tables, all of years. The battles began in Septem- which have perfect views of the 60ber 2001 when Keith announced plans foot stage and the 10 big screen TVs. for Tiara, a Las Vegas-style, 26,000- The huge stage also doubles as a dance square-foot entertainment complex in floor, and a professional DJ pumps in front of Rimrock Mall. At that time, the techno jams. V.I.P. sections, prithe two-story plans included themed vate booths, a casino, and a state-ofrestaurants, retail shops, nightclubs, the-art sound system are also part of and an enormous wine bar. In August the offerings. Managers say more is 2003, Macerich Rimrock Limited Part- to come, including an X-Box gaming lounge, a live poker room, a restaurant, and shopping. 12th Planet plans on hosting several large music shows each month in addition to regular live local bands, house music, and comedy. So far, the schedule includes an Industry Night party sponsored by Hot 101.9, a fundraiser for Big Brothers and Sisters, and wine tastings. There are also many concerts planned, so log onto the 12th Planet web site, www.12thplanet.com, to keep tabs on the schedule. You can purchase a 12th Planet membership while you are visiting the website. They range in price from $100 to $1000 a year, and the benefits include half off or no cover charges on regular club nights, front of the line VIP privileges, and advance ticket notice, just to name a few. The VIP seating is excellent, and the advance ticket notice varies depending on the price of the membership; basically all members are treated to perks. What are the people who have been to the Planet saying so far? The response has been really positive. The only complaint I have is the prices, said a patron named Crystal. But the atmosphere is amazing! Briana, a cocktail waitress at 12th Planet, repeats that sentiment. Weve gotten a mixed response. Most people say that the prices are too high, but the club itself is awesome. People have been really supportive and positive. Briana has also cocktailed at the Wild West and is used to high volume crowds. She said theyve been really busy so far. Will 12th Planet stay busy? Only time will tell, but no one can dispute the fact that it is a totally different club experience than anything else in Billings. I hope it does well, says MSUBillings student Kathy Lindell. Id like to see it succeed.

Interest Rate in Effect

Sc hools In f or Summer
Spring fever is in the air and students all over campus are looking forward to summer vacation. It is time for relaxation, rest, and reading, but for some students, the three Rs they will be practicing are reading, writing and arithmetic. Thats right, not everyone will be enjoying their vacation, they will be enrolling in summer classes. MSU-B offers a variety of summer courses. There are three summer sessions. The first session begins May 15 and runs through June 16. Three days later, the second session begins covering June 19 to July 21. The last session commences on July 24 and finishes August 25. Some classes pack all the material into a one-month block while others run through two sessions. A variety of studies are being offered. The COT offers summer classes as well as the main campus and the online university. Full time (12-18 credits) resident students pay roughly $2550 and non-residents pay approximately $6700. As part of the Western Undergraduate Exchange (WUE) students fork out around $4000 to extend their education through the summer. Students should view the summers as one semester. If you are taking three separate classes during different sessions, they count as one semester. For example, if you take two three-credit classes during the first session and two three-credit classes during the second session, you pay the tuition fee for 12 credits. The Office of Financial Aid can also help you finance your summer education. After signing up for summer classes you need to take your schedule to the Financial Aid Office. It is required that students be enrolled for a minimum of six credits to receive aid. You can mail or fax your schedule and request loans, work-study, or both and the Financial Aid Office will try to accommodate your needs. It is not required to have your 2006-2007 FAFSA filed. The information will come off your 2005-2006 FAFSA. Similar to Fall and Spring sessions, online classes require a $40 technology fee. Fee statements will be mailed out beginning April 17. Students can opt to set up a payment plan for the summer session as well. A class withdrawal schedule is already in place for the summer session. You have up until the fourth day of classes to receive 90 percent of tuition back. After eight days of class, you can get 75 percent back. The last day to drop classes are obtain any tuition back is 12 days into class. After 12 days, refunds will not be made for dropped

Photo by Olivia Koernig Long summer class times can leave students longing for the sunshine. classes. Registration for summer class is already available. You can register online. Available classes are listed. To enroll in online summer classes visit www.msubonline.org. If you are interested in enrolling in summer classes, talk to your advisor. If you have questions about financial aid, contact the Financial Aid Office. The Business Office can help you with question concerning fees. The summer class schedule is available online at www.msubillings.edu . Fee payment schedules and registration information is also available online.

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Ne wY or k Times Columnist t o Speak at MSU-B New Yor ork to

MSU-BILLINGS NEWS SERVICE New York Times columnist and PBS commentator David Brooks will be the first speaker in the MontanaPBS Media Lecture Series, sponsored by Montana broadcasting pioneer Joe Sample, on Thursday, April 27, at 7:00 p.m., in Petro Theater on the campus of Montana State University Billings. The lecture is free and the public is encouraged to attend. A question and answer session from the audience will follow the lecture. According to Lisa Titus, development director of MontanaPBS, this is the first in what will become an annual media lecture series that will travel to Montana university campuses. Montana State University Billings was chosen to host the first lecture. MontanaPBS is excited to have David Brooks, a longtime contributor to PBS programming, as our first lecturer, said Titus. We are grateful to Joe Sample for helping us kick off this lecture series, which will start a dialogue about media influences in our society, and we thank MSU Billings and Chancellor Ron Sexton for hosting this inaugural lecture. David Brooks bi-weekly column on the Op-Ed page of The New York Times started in September 2003. He has been a senior editor at The Weekly Standard and a contributing editor at Newsweek and the Atlantic Monthly. He holds several prestigious positions as a commentator and is a regular analyst on PBSs NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, National Public Radios All Things Considered and the Diane Rehm Show. His articles have appeared in the The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, Forbes, The Washington Post, The TLS, Commentary, The Public Interest and many other magazines. He is editor of the anthology Backward and Upward: The New Conservative Writing, from Vintage Books. Brooks authored two books on what he calls comic sociology descriptions of how we live and the water we swim in that are as witty and entertaining as they are revealing and insightful: Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There, and On Paradise Drive: How We Live Now (And Always Have) in the Future Tense, both published by Simon & Schuster. In his New York Times best-selling first book Bobos in Paradise, generation. Brooks challenges us to wonder if we might be a Bobo: Do you believe that spending $15,000 on a media center is vulgar, but that spending $15,000 on a slate shower stall is a sign that you are at one with the Zenlike rhythms of nature? Do you work for one of those visionary software companies where people come to work wearing hiking boots and glacier glasses, as if a wall of ice were about to come sliding through the parking lot? If so, you might be a Bobo. In On Paradise Drive, Brooks explores what life really is like in todays middle- and uppermiddle-class suburbs; what drives Americans so hard to relentlessly move and labor and change; and whether or not we are as shallow as we look. He probes to see if down beneath the surface activities of everyday life there is a grand, complicated and deeply American idealism that inspires not only the shallow strivings but noble ones, as on, sometimes unreflectingly, to our kids. We are united by futuremindedness. We see the present from the vantage point of the future. We are tantalized, at every second of the day, by the awareness of grand possibilities ahead of us, by the bounty we can realize just over the next ridge. This mentality leads us to work feverishly hard, move more than any other people on earth, switch jobs, switch religions. It made us anxious and optimistic, manic and discombobulating. Even in the superficiality of modern suburban life, there is some deeper impulse still throbbing in the heart of average Americans. That impulse is the subject of this book. Brooks joined The Weekly Standard at its inception in September 1995, having worked at The Wall Street Journal for the previous nine years. His last post at the Journal was as op-ed editor. Prior to that, he was posted in Brussels, covering Russia, the Middle East, South Africa and European affairs. His first post at the Journal was as editor of the book review section, and he filled in for five months as the Journals movie critic. Brooks graduated from the University of Chicago in 1983 and worked as a police reporter for the City News Bureau, a wire service owned jointly by the Chicago Tribune and Sun Times. David Brooks has a gift for bringing audiences face to face with the spirit of our times through humor, insight and quiet passion. He is a keen observer of the American way of life and a savvy analyst of present-day politics and foreign affairs. One appreciative audience member said Brooks connected beautifully with the audience, understood the audience, was charismatic and high energy. Another said he presented a fantastic, non-partisan view and gave the most palatable explanation for Bush policy he ever heard. For more information about the free public MontanaPBS Media Lecture Series featuring inaugural speaker David Brooks, call the MSU Billings University Relations office at (406) 657-2266.

Photo courtesy of MSU-Billings News Service David Brooks is a New York Times columnist and PBS commentator. Brooks coined a new word, Bobo, to well. describe todays upper classthose he Few commentators have describes as having wed the bourgeois Brooks flair for painting the American world of capitalist enterprise to the hip- social landscape with such color and pie values of the bohemian countercul- comic insight, as shown here in his deture. Their hybrid lifestyle he describes scription of On Paradise Drive: As is the atmosphere we breathe, and in this diverse as we are, as complacent as we witty and serious look at the cultural sometimes seem, Americans are united consequences of the information age, by a common mentality, which we have Brooks has been said to define a new inherited from our ancestors and pass

Klept os Are Ev er ywhere: Ho wt o Pr otect Y our self Kleptos Ever erywhere: How to Pro Your ourself
Crime is an unfortunate part of modern life and one of the most prevalent crimes in our society is property crime. According to The Federal Bureau of Investigation there were 10,729,581 property crimes committed in the United States during 2004 approximately 33,000 of which were committed in Montana. The FBI classifies property crimes under three categories robbery, burglary and motor vehicle theft. The FBIs crime reporting hand book defines robbery as The taking or attempting to take anything of value from the care, custody, or control of a person or persons by force or threat of force or violence and/or by putting the victim in fear. While burglary is The unlawful entry of a structure to commit a felony or a theft, for reporting purposes this definition includes: unlawful entry with intent to commit larceny or felony; breaking and entering with intent to commit a larceny; housebreaking; safecracking; and all attempts to commit any of the aforementioned. And motor vehicle theft is defined as The theft or attempted theft of a motor vehicle. Also classified as motor vehicle theft are all cases where automobiles are taken by persons not having lawful access even though the vehicles are later abandoned (i.e. joy riding.) According to the federally mandated reports made public by campus police between 2002 and 2004 there were a total of 69 reported burglaries on the main campus while out at the College of Technology there were 11 burglaries and four motor vehicle thefts reported. Those 84 incidences are the tip of the iceberg as far as property crimesaround MSU-B is concerned, because, for a variety of reasons, many such crimes go unreported. So what can you do to prevent losing your stuff? Here are some suggestions: Keep the doors of your residence locked at all times when you are away, even if you are gone for just a few minutes. Keep your vehicle locked at all times and do not leave personal items or packages inside. Avoid flashing cash and/ or valuables when you are in a public place. Make a list of all serial numbers and model numbers of valuable items such as your stereo, television, VCR, computer equipment and bicycle. That way if something is stolen, you can give the police the information required to help them find it Check with your insurance company to see if your belongings are covered under your policy. If not, you may want to consider an addition to your current coverage If you have something stolen here on campus, please report it to campus police. They can be contacted at 657-2147. If you have something stolen off campus and it is not an immediate emergency you can report it to the Billings police department at 657-8200 or the Yellowstone County Sheriffs department at 256-2929. If it is an immediate emergency call 911.

Graphic courtesy of neighbourhoodwatch.net The threat of burglarism is a dangerous reality.

A Tree in Celebration of a Life

On March 1, College of Education (COE) Interim Dean Mary Susan Fishbaughs world changed forever. The youngest of her four children, 17year-old Geoff, died as a result of a skiing accident in Jackson Hole, Wyo. There is no formula for dealing with an unanticipated, traumatic, immediate event. As a family, we have relied on each other to be there, to cry, to laugh, to experience this profound thing that has happened. Our extended family and our close friends have sheltered us. Dave and I feel that our childrens friends are an extension of our family; their constant presence has been very important to us, Fishbaugh wrote in an email interview with the Retort. The campus community reached out to Fishbaugh and her family with a meal preparation rotation for the month of March. We had gourmet meals every night, a far cry from our usual midweek grilled peanut butter sandwiches, wrote Fishbaugh. In addition to the support from MSU-Billings, Geoffs school, Billings Central Catholic High School, surrounded the Fishbaughs with their prayers and sympathy. Centraladministration, faculty, staff, and studentsrallied for Geoff while he suffered through ICU and continued to demonstrate their caring for him and for each other after his death, Fishbaugh wrote. The COE also set up an endowment scholarship in Geoffs name. The latest installment of MSU-Billings response comes from the Graduate Student Association (GSA) in the form of a memorial tree which will be planted the week of Apri17. Just a few weeks before the accident, several graduate students attended a Higher Education Consortium in Chico, Mont. Among the attendees were graduate students Shea Cole, Aaron Bryers and GSA president Jason Amundsen. They got to know Fishbaugh and several other professors on a more personal level, which was one reason they decided to do something to honor the memory of Geoff. We kicked around a bunch of ideas, said Amundsen. We thought this would be a lasting way for the campus to honor the memory of Mary Susans son. Amundsen and GSA Faculty Adviser Alan Christensen discussed the idea with Fishabugh. They all agreed on a Linden tree which will be planted near the fountain entrance to the College of Education. A memorial plaque will accompany the tree. Plans are underway to hold a dedication ceremony before the end of the semester. Facility Services ordered the tree and plaque; Amundsen and other students from GSA will physically plant the tree in the ground. The plaque will read: Geoffrey Arthur Fishbaugh August 31, 1988March 1, 2006 Where there is sadness, let me sow joy. (Prayer of St. Francis) Responding to inquiry about how she and her family are dealing with their loss and remaining positive, Fishbaugh wrote, We are trying to grow from this Photo courtesy of www.standardtrees.co.uk experience. We are posiA Linden tree will be planted near the COE in tive because we know remembrance of Geoff Fishbaugh. that Geoff lives. We hurt because we cannot see him, talk to him, spread joy wherever he was; how can laugh with him, but we know that he we be any less than positive? We are is with us. Perhaps if we pay attention, positive because Geoffs family was he will be able to communicate in some very important to his security, his conway. We are positive because of the fidence, his independence. We need to person Geoff was and his spirit that is. continue to be the family that Geoff Geoff never knew a stranger and relied on.

Young Montana Ar tists Sho wcase Their T alent Artists Show Talent
MSU-B Ar tists Shine: The S tudent Artists Student Independent Sho w Show
The Student Independent Show, held in the Northcutt Steele Gallery from March 31 to April 28, is a juried show that happens every spring on campus. Students may submit up to three artworks that they have made outside of art classes. The juror then decides which pieces to include in the show. This year, Bently Spang, a local Billings artist and MSU-B alumnus, juried the show. He handed out six prizes: a $300 Best of Show, a $100 First Place, a $200 Second Place, and three Honorable Mentions. Rebecca Weed Owl won Best of Show with her oil painting In the Morning Kitchen. A nude male dominates the center of the canvas. He stands facing a counter, upon which he mixes ingredients in a bowl. Flour and an anonymous container rest on the countertop. A refrigerator stands in the background. Two chickens mill about in the foreground: one on a box in the lower left of the painting, the other by the mans feet. The painting is dominated by white and off-white, which contrast sharply with the deep black used in the shadows (there is little gray in the painting). The only other colors in the painting are the red of the chickens combs and the pink bunny slippers on the mans feet. The stark and sterile style of the painting undermines what should be a happy morning scene, creating a feeling of apprehension in the viewer. First Place went to Jake Sorenson for his large freestanding sculpture Insurgence. The basemade of a triangular prism and two pyramids connected at sharp anglessupports an inverted pyramid, which, in turn, supports a curved four-sided shape. The two thinner sides of the shape have strips cut out of them, displaying skinny rods placed side by side. These sides of the shape, unlike the rest of the silver sculpture, have a slight brown tint to them. Another inverted pyramid springs from the curved shape. The piece as a whole has a tilted, off-balance feel, as if (as its name implies) it defies even gravity. A red oak sculpture by Aaron Bradford entitled Crystal Blossoms II won Second Place. The base is a thick, flat spiral of wood blocks that suddenly springs into a three-dimensional spiral. Six flowers and three buds branch off this spiral. Most of the flowers have six petals, which are crystalline in structure (each has many facets and comes to a point). The center of each flower is painted black. The fluidity of the spiral is contradicted by the rigidity of the material. On a Wing and a Prayer, a collage by Jennifer Beck, won Honorable Mention. Three feathers break up the work into parts. In the lower left corner of the work, a praying angel looks out of the canvas towards the viewer. Three repeating images of the famous sculpture Winged Victory create a diagonal from the center to the lower right corner. Four birds fly in the upper section of the collage amidst clouds; one has the phrase, Behold, I send an angel, in its beak. A sunflower made of a cut-up picture of honeycombs rests at the bottom of the work. Beck blends these disparate images together with paint and pastel to create a coherent, transcendent composition of blue and orange. Becky Kimbrough won Honorable Mention for her work Will the Past Become the Future? Thick, red paint stick covers the entire surface, creating interesting squiggles, harsh lines, and even globs of paint in some areas. In the center of the work is a black coat hanger. It becomes the focus of the work, eclipsing the frenzy of red in the background. The work feels confined by the black frame and glass surrounding it, giving the work an ominous tone. Willis Johnson also received an Honorable Mention for his large ceramic sculpture Flashes of Merriment. A large pot, it contains slashes and cuts in its clay walls, creating sharp edges that curl over, giving the piece an organic feel. Some clay has been splattered on its surface, creating knobs and interesting textures. The stab wounds give the work a sense of both violence and release. In all, Spang selected 17 hanging pieces (six of which are hanging sculptures) and six freestanding sculptures. Congratulations to all artists whose work made it into the show.

Fragments of Self
Willis Johnsons show, held in the Student and Outer Galleries in the LA building, is broken up into eight parts: artists statement, digital images, ceramic works, lithographs, metal sculptures, oil paintings, TVs, and a media projection. Because of the diversity of media he uses, Johnsons show is hard to take in. One finds oneself circling around his works, revisiting pieces, rereading his statement, trying to make a cohesive whole of the many disparate parts. Johnsons show, it seems, is entitled Fragments for good reason. Andreacathredral is a collection of four variationsdigital image, photocopy, lithograph, and combinations of shredded pieces from the first threeon five images of a woman and a cathedral. This display makes the viewer wonder which image is the most authentic. Can they all be considered art or are they all mass-produced fabrications? Carousel further investigates the theme of real art. These sculptures are made (with the help of Sherri Cornett) by pressing old slide carousels into clay fragments to make rhythmic lined patterns. These pieces are then spliced in the shape of shallow bowls, which are placed together to create one large artwork. Two of Johnsons four metal sculptures are abstractions: one explores the nature of sin, the other Jungian psychology. His two bronzes depict men in different stages of reaching and attainment. In The Seeker IVIntegration, a man crouches, while some sort of flame or fluid engulfs his body and surges upwards, supporting another man. It is as if the first man and

Photos by Jessica Wade Top: Johnsons The Seeker IV Integration Bottom: Sorensons Insurgence

the flame give birth to the second. The second man, torso upright, holds his arms, elbows out, with palms facing down. The flame levels out and forms a kind of shallow bowl under his hands, as if his palms hold some power that quells the flame. These are the only depictions of the human form in the show. Johnsons oil paintings, called Self-Image, unlike most self-portraits, do not depict the physical form. Instead, they focus on pivotal life moments, feelings, phases in life, and forces within (and without) that shape ones character. Are these forces more real more valid as ones identitythan ones physical body? This theme is further explored by the TV sets, which display lines of poetry set against footage of knee surgery. Which is the true nature of the body? The intimate portrayal of the inner workings of the knee or the images contained in the poem? What is the real image of the self? The idea of selfimage is further explored in the Student Gallery, where one is confronted with ones own image, caught on surveillance camera and projected on the far wall. Entitled Me Looking at Me . . . (Culmination): Me looking at me . . . What do you see? this work takes the viewers focus away from philosophical ideas and brings it back to the self. In his artist statement, Johnson elaborates upon the nature of images: their power and persuasiveness, their unreliability, the identity they supply. One senses, after spending time with Johnsons show, that the self doesnt lie in any of these images, but, rather, exists somewhere behind them. And it is this subtle quality of Johnsons workof hinting at the reality of self without containing itthat unifies his show.

When Mans Best F riend Becomes Best Seller Friend

Marley and Me was the best book that Ive read in a long time. At parts, I laughed so hard that I was crying. It is a New York Times Bestseller and with good reason. John and his wife, Jenny, decide to buy a puppy one day because Jenny says it will be agood experience for when they have kids. Both of them had dogs when they were kids and they dreamed of having the best dog in the world. They chose a Labrador Retriever and name him Marley. Marley is a lively dog who is frightened to death of thunderstorms. He has some mental problems, literally, so it is near impossible for the family to train him. He exhibits bad behavior througout entire book, but that makes it even funnier. He soon grows to be a part of their family and even as the family grows to include three children, Marley is right beside them. Marley sticks by the family through moves and job changes. The children learn to love him, too. Marley is never mean to the kids and even seems to look out for them. Thestory progresses, and Marley ages. He still has his hyper energy, but in smaller bursts. Pretty soon, Marley becomes so tired on their walks that the pair have to turn around and head toward home. He is such a happy dog through the entire book. This nonfiction book is great for anyone who has ever owned a dog. Marley has quirky behavior that all pets show at some time or another. I have never laughed out loud at any book Ive read, but this time, I couldnt keep it in. As Marley ages, the book gets sadder and sadder because you know whats coming. However, the sad parts do not detract from this book.

Graphic courtesy of www.barnesandnoble.com

Vf or V ende tta Causes D f or Disagreement for Vende endetta for

It seems that with the rash of comic book and/or graphic novel films lately, nothing is off limits, e.g. A History of Violence (not worth more than a dollar of your time). With Alan Moore shaking his fist in defiance, the movie industry has mutated another of his fine graphic novels into a seemingly unrelated film (see League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, From Hell, and John Constantine actually, dont see them, read them [Vertigo Comics, Inc]). That film: V for Vendetta. Debating the merits of this film will be, in the red corner, Nate Petterson (film connoisseur) and, in the black corner, James Reuss (a Vertigo Comics nerd). NP: While I agree that the film strayed from the source material a bit, I do believe that it captured the theme overall message of the book. Visually it was quite pleasing and the elements within the film, judging solely on the merits of the film, are enough to warrant a recommendation. JR: Yes, many of the visuals were okay, but the film strayed too far from the graphic novel and therefore missed the point. The misuse of characters and the over-streamlining of the plot degraded this attempt at a film enough for me to say do not watch it. NP: The gritty potential future of London is well represented in the film. The characters also resemble their graphic novel counterparts and maintain verisimilitude with the concepts that the movie presents. The action sequences and special effects were of acceptable quality, especially considering the surfeit of poorly choreographed fight scenes of late (e.g. The Bourne Supremacyand Ultraviolet.) JR: Yeah, whatever. You can teach a pig to dance, but then all you have is a dancing pig. The visuals were a bit over-the-top. It was far more vibrant and grandiose than the graphic novels muted, pastel imagery. NP: Vibrant and grandiose? Some people call that cinematography. While I do believe that the weakness we see in V is problematic, I think that he is a solid character throughout the film and is developed well as the masqued champion of revolution. JR: It has been a disturbing trend in comic book movies the destruction and undermining of otherwise hardcore paragons of the comic book world (e.g. Dr. Victor von Doom, Frank The Punisher Castle, and John Constantine). They seem to have taken all of Vs strongest attributes and transferred them to Natalie Portmans character, Evey. Thats not cool, man. NP: Grievance noted. However, the plot of the film carries a significant message that extends beyond the film itself and with impeccable timing (considering current affairs as of late). The film conveys the core message of the book some 15 years after its original publication and has a better chance of motivating its viewers to appropriate action (whatever that may be) these days than it would have back then. JR: Think again, Mr. Nate. The books message was not about revolution itself, but merely illustrated the inevitable actions of a people under a totalitarian government. It was a message to the powerful that the People are a force to be reckoned with and can be motivated to action by the will of a single individual. In this way, the movie missed the point of the book entirely. All of the hubbub surrounding the film is a direct result of the book being taken out of context. With no clear winner, you will just have to go see the film. We both hope that it will motivate you to charge

Photo illustration by Nate Petterson on Sleipnir with a firm grip on Gungnir, ready to hurl it and break the sky, raining down destruction on your oppressors. (In case you were wondering, Sleipnir was Odins eightlegged horse and Gungnir was his mighty spear). (Odin was the Norse Father-god and brought you Wodans Day, more commonly referred to as Wednesday).

Twelve Albums That You Should Own That You Probably Dont
Dr . Octagon Dr . Dr. Dr. Octagonecologyst
Assuming you were already listening to legends like KRS-One, you might have missed Kool Keiths second album. Why Kool Keith? His lyrics make no sense and his beats will keep you dancing long after you leave your car yes, Dan the Automator was here. sider yourself ashamed. The Phillybased group has been producing organic Hip Hop for well over a decade. With a Jazz influence and familiar feel, Do You Want More? is probably their best overallbut dont overlook Things Fall Apart or their latest, The Tipping Point. Specials was remastered just a few years ago.

The Bad Brains I A gainst I Against

For those of you that need a that shot of rock/metal every day and often say to yourself, Mmmm this rock is good, it could use a little punk though, fear not, you dont have to

gether days, the double-bass that hurts your organs and discourages drummers days when Sepultura was amazing . Soulfly has plenty of fans and a couple decent tunes, but Maxs solo work cant touch this album.

Massiv e A ttac k Massive Attac ttack Mezzanine

While you should probably just buy all of Massive Attacks albums, the pioneers of trip-hop, this would probably be my reco. for your first. Music for anyone, its jazz, its electronica, its poetry, its amazing.

Deltr on 3030 Deltron

Del the Funky Homosapien has appeared here and there, most often remembered as the rapping talent on the Gorillaz first album. Deltron 3030 is what the Gorillaz first album should have been. Same mixing team and even an appearance by that guy from Blur, but a heavy helping of Dels stupendous flow.

Bela Flec k Fleck and the Flec kt ones Fleckt ktones Lef t of Cool Left
Bela Fleck is the greatest banjo player that has ever lived. Not that there is a great deal of competition for the top Banjo Virtuoso slot, but Bela can play anything from Bluegrass to Scarlatti, Beethoven to Jazz. With the addition of Victor Wooten, arguably the most talented living bassist, Bela and his Flecktones produce a Neo-Funk groove that makes you want to start your own band until Bela or Victor hit a solo, then you promptly lose all aspirations.

Fishbone Truth and Soul T

While the days of hearing a new Ska band everyday have been replaced by Emo and pop-punk, Fishbone kept the torch alive. With sociopolitically-driven lyrics, a little too much talent and an infectious enthusiasm, Fishbone will not let you down. Truth and Soul will be a good place for beginners to start.

Foreign Legion Beats t o to Roc k While Bik e S tealin ock Bike St

Contrary to popular belief, Hip Hop is not dead (yet). With terrible bling-rap on every corner and the resurgence of studio gangsters it can be a rather harrowing adventure to put $15 on a new act. Excellent beats and the cadence of old-school rappers, Foreign Legions DJ Design, Peter Parker and Prozac bring the realthe everydayin a world of gold fronts and Bentleys.

try and find a decent new band, for you probably missed The Bad Brains in your efforts to locate all of Black Flag and the Dead Kennedys bootlegs. Not only one of the most talented punk bands of all time but also one of the fastest.

Sk unk Anansie P ost Skunk Post Orgasmic Chill

A band that never really hit it big in America before breaking up, Skunk Anansie deserves a listen from anyone who wants a solid metal band with female lead vocals that is a little less generic than Evanescence.

The Specials Specials

Before there was Ska and Punk there was The Clash, and they were amazing. I can only assume you already own London Calling, so I must recommend The Clashs touring partners from 1978s On Parole tour, The Specials (AKA The Coventry Automatics). Their album

Ben Har per The Will t o Harper The to Liv e Live

Last and certainly not least, Ben Harper. With each successive album he gets a little closer to fame and a little farther from his roots. While I celebrate his entire career, I find his old stuff to be the most genuine.

The R oo ts Do Y ou W ant Roo oots You Want More?

If you like Hip Hop and you dont know who the Roots are, con-

Sepultura Chaos A .D. A.D.

Sepulturas best album. The good ole days, the Max and Igor to-

In the movies lately, weve been seeing many biographies. From the Ray

Charles movie, Ray, to Johnny Cashs Walk the Line. Both were great movies that got a lot of attention for not only the deceased but also the actors that played them. I often wonder if the de-

ceased stars would have been pleased with how these actors are portraying their lives. I know if someone were playing me in the future, Id want to know who it was and maybe have a say

in it. I decided to ask some MSU-Billings students who they would want to play them if their life stories were made into a movie. Here is what they had to say.

Are you kidding? Owen Wilson, because hes laid I know whod play my wife, Anna Kornikova, because John Heder (Napoleon Dynamite). I guess he looks back and chill. shes got a great personality. like me. Pierce Chandler Sophomore Las Vegas Jake Jovanovich Junior Billings Tim McMurtry-Hauptman Sophomore Billings

Ano ther Da y, Ano ther Nic kel: Nic kel and Dimed Sho wing No w Another Day Another Nick Nick Showing Now
The play Nickel and Dimed was adapted by Joan Holden from a book by Barbara Ehrenreich. It was performed at Venture Theater on March 24. The story is about a reporter who, for an assignment, leaves her comfortable home in New York to live the minimum wage life. She starts out better than most, however, because she starts with a $1,200 slush fund so that she can make a deposit on an apartment. She works at restaurants, as a maid, and finally at Wal-Mart. She did not think it would be so hard because she came from a working class family, but she was mistaken. At one point in the play she figures out her finances and realizes that she will not make her rent. That would be a horrible realization to make. At another time, she works two jobs, seven days a week, so that she has plenty of money for rent and food, but she is too tired at the end of everyday to go out and do anything fun, so she just goes to bed. Anjanett HawkJohnson, who plays Barbara, did a wonderful job. She knew her lines really well and she showed a lot of emotion. The play was put on by six different people. Some of the actors played four or five parts. It was a little set, but they worked well with what they had. It was well-organized and the scene change went smoothly. This play has been to Seattles Intiman Theatre and professional theaters in Minneapolis, Chicago, and Denver. Considering this play has been done numerous times in professional theaters, this group of actors did exceptionally well.

Some facts about the working poor: About a quarter of the workforce (over 28 million people) earn less than $9.04 an hour. A full-time salary of $9.04 an hour translates into an annual income of $18,800- the federal poverty line for a family of four. 60% of these workers are white and only one-fifth are foreign born. 3.5 million people are homeless in any given year. 46% of the jobs with the most growth between 1995 and 2005 pay less than $16,000 per year.

James R euss Reuss

Age: 23 Hometown: Laurel Major: English Graduate Minor: Art Dream Job: Masked Crimefighter Top of Celebrity Make-Out List: Paulyn Sun (as seen in Ichi the Killer) Celebrity I would most like to kick the crap out of: Each and every member of Theory of a Dead Man Recurring Nightmare: Stuck in a job I hate for the foreseeable future

Olivia K oernig Koernig

Age: 28 Hometown: Billings (shut up J.A. & A.B.) Major: English Minor: Spanish Dream Job: Retort Editor Top of Celebrity Make-Out list: Apolo Anton Ohno Celebrity I would most like to kick the crap out of: Britney Spears Giving Birth Sculptor Daniel Edwardslook it up for yourself Recurring Nightmare: Being the Retort Editor

About My Photo: No liberty spikes becuase I didnt have time to do it the old school way.

About My photo: Me and Apolo, right before we made out

Scraping the Barrel: 46 Rants, Ra ves, and Shor tT ak es Rav Short Tak akes
less chick. Dont know why, but I have. 11) I regret that I will never, ever have dreadlocks. 12) I played in an intramural softball game and it represents the first time in what seems like ages that I scored twice in the same night. I also reached third base more times than I have in weeks. 13) I find it rather disturbing that at 25 I appear to be at the beginning of a mid-life crisis. 14) What does my ex-girlfriend and a pre-owned textbook at Beezers have in common? Theyre both used, cheap, and available. 15) I love my sisters Lisa and Courtney and my brother Sam more than CheezIts... and I love Cheez-Its. 16) Ever been having lunch with someone, splitting a plate of jalapeno poppers or whatever, and just out of the blue, have you ever felt the urge to reach out and smack them upside the head just to see their facial expression? 17) I have a punching bag in my garage, but prefer to beat up on myself. 18) Even though Raquel Welch is 66, Id still do her. 19) Whenever it appears I might have an actual woman over at my apartment, I walk through every room spraying Febreeze onto everything, just in case. 20) Anyone else think Cobra Commander got a bad rap? 21) Ever sat around your home naked on a major bank holiday, slathered in coconut-oil tanning lotion, sitting in a vinyl lawn chair, eating Chex-Mix, drinking root beer and watching Japanese Pro wrestling, and suddenly thought to yourself; Man, I never really knew my Dad? Good. Me neither. 22) You and I have something in common: neither one of us will admit that we read The Retort. 23) Raise your hand if you have seen or are planning to see Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector. Thank you. Please line up at the guillotine or the firing range. In the meantime, please refrain from procreation. 24) I would like to vote Melissa Devries and Jed Barton Retort MVPs. Horrible human beings, but phenomenal journalists. 25) Notice I didnt say anything about Niki Porter. That was not a mistake. 26) When I die, I dont want to be in a coffin, all peaceful. I want to be placed on the buffet table right next to the keg, right on top of the cookies and corn dogs, with my eyes frozen open and my face contorted in sheer terror that can only be seen in that brief, chilling moment before your own demise. 27) Sex is like pizza. When its good, its great. When its bad, its still pretty damn good 28) Former American Idol contestant Bo Bice reminds me of a used Qtip. 29) Guys: Ever been having sex with your girlfriend/wife/fiance and she does this really awesome thing with her hips or her tongue or whatever and you find yourself unable to enjoy it because although you arent sure where she learned it. You know she didnt learn it from you. 29) New Orleans gets decimated by a hurricane and Salina, Kansas remains unscathed. Whats the deal, God? 30) I will not call a Professor Doctor. Until you can successfully remove my appendix, Professor will have to do. 31) I wonder if Richard Marx is performing Hold Onto The Night somewhere right now? 32) When Im having a really crappy day, I do two things. First, I read the Obituary section in the Gazette, then I watch Saturday Night Live and try to pick out the next cast member to die. Sort of helps me keep things in perspective. 33) I cant help but think how out of place I would look in a P. Diddy video. 34) Do the other members of U2 give a good goddamn about world hunger, or do they just humor Bono? 35) Whenever I see Paris Hilton, it comforts me to know that Im not the most useless person on the face of the planet. 36) Jed Bartons mother complimented my articles, though I dont hold that against her. 37) Ladies: Two words youll never hear on a first date: Premature Ejaculation. 38) True story: For one Halloween, I went as Dimitri, Euro-Trash extraordinare. 39) I dont know about you, but I knew George Michael was gay the second I saw my first WHAM! video. 40) Despite the inaccurate portrayal, the Vulcan Death Grip does not work on bouncers, no matter how hard you squeeze or how drunk you are. 41) The Screaming Cheetah Wheelies is the greatest name for a band ever. 43) Playing Dungeons and Dragons does not make you a nerd. Admitting you play Dungeons and Dragons makes you a nerd. 44) I can honestly say that I have never, ever, felt the urge to Get down with my bad self. 45) Peter Lawford was the lamest member of the Rat Pack, hands down. 46) ATTN: Olivia: I really dont give a good [gosh darn] if you prefer quotations to italics. Life is rough. Deal with it, smurfette.

1) American Gladiators: Home-Eroticism at its finest 2) For some odd reason, it really grinds my gears when I see a fat guy wearing a basketball jersey. 3) Betsy Harris: My favorite Mormon since Donny and Marie. 4) True Story: I once dated a girl who tried to stab me with a screwdriver. 5) Guys: Its better to cry after sex than during sex. Not that I would be speaking from personal experience, of course... 6) For a whole semester, I couldnt tell Dana and Nicole Livermont apart. 7) Potential Sex Offender Seeking That Special Someone is not the best headline for an internet dating site. 8) Does anyone else find it odd that Barry Manilow sounds more like a lesbian than Melissa Ethridge? (Added note: HUGE Melissa Ethridge fan) 9) I dont like porn anymore. Always the same ending and very few plot twists. 10) Ive always wanted to date a home-

Equality , No t Singularity
A friend asked me today if I considered myself a feminist. I laughed and said no. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do. She immediately took offense and asked me how I could support the oppression of women. I decided that I would try and explain my views to her even though I rarely feel the need to defend my opinions to others. I believe all people are equal. However, that being said, when I see groups of people including, but most definitely not limited to feminists trying to perpetuate socalled equality, I have to wonder if theyre missing the point. These groups are all about quantifying pain and oppression. They can list ad nauseam all of the horrible ways some other group of people has held them down and how we must rise up against them. First of all, to these people, I say calm down. Despite what your overactive imagination and subjective viewpoints tell you, the world at large has more important things to do than sit around and think up ways to screw you over. This is not to say that there are not people and even groups of people out there who are causing tremendous harm. Its just that most of the time it is a result of ignorance or carelessness and not some cold calculated move to oppress you. The second point I think that people overlook is that indirectly all of these special interest (for lack of a better phrase, although I really hate that one) groups are actually perpetuating the oppression they are fighting so hard against. Take for example feminism. The idea that women are oppressed and that the large majority of that oppression comes from men is one of its major platforms. However, is it not also true that men are oppressed? Men in our society are bound by as many gender roles as women. Men in our society are vilified as evil oppressors just as women are victimized as the oppressed. Is a mans pain less important than a womans? Are the oppressions of men more trivial than those of women? The question then becomes if men are oppressed and women are oppressed, who in fact is doing the oppression? Is it mutual? Is there a third party that neither side has considered? Actually its none of those things. When we look from the outside we say that our own personal interests often get in the way of equality. In the case of feminism, the idea of expanding all rights through the pursuit of womens rights is self-destructive. Even if it is not intentional, this idea puts womens rights at a higher priority than others. Equality will always elude us if we insist on putting our needs and values ahead of all others. We must endeavor to embrace each individual difference and not lump them all together in a group. In the end, I explained to my friend that I absolutely do not support the oppression of women, and in fact I have spoken out against it on a number of occasions, but I can not align myself with ANY group that insists on pursuing one or two particular rights above all others. I believe that everyone is equal, period, and to try and separate that equality into individual factions is dangerous and ultimately counter-productive. I encourage all people to stand up for what they believe, but make sure youre also standing up for what others believe and their freedoms, even if they dont align with your personal agenda. My friend was still pissed at me, but I think she understood where I was coming from, and thats a start.

Under God Under Fire

One nation, under God. Schoolchildren all over the country utter these words every day, but are we really a nation united under God? Some would say no. A controversy wages about whether or not these words even belong in the Pledge of Allegiance of a country that is so adamant about the separation of church and state. The Pledge of Allegiance was written by Francis Bellamy (1855 - 1931), a Baptist minister, in August 1892. He was a Christian Socialist and in his Pledge, he expressed the ideas of his first cousin, Edward Bellamy, author of the American socialist utopian novels, Looking Backward (1888) and Equality (1897). Francis Bellamy in his sermons and lectures described in detail how the middle class could create a planned economy with political, social and economic equality for all. The Pledge was published in the September 8 issue of The Youths Companion, the leading family magazine of its day. The original Pledge of Allegiance went like this: I pledge allegiance to my Flag, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for all. In 1923, the words the flag of the United States were substituted for my flag, and in 1924, the words of America were added. The last change in the Pledge of Allegiance occurred on June 14 (Flag Day), 1954 when President Dwight D. Eisenhower approved adding the words under God. As he authorized this change he said, In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in Americas heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our countrys most powerful resource in peace and war. Bellamys granddaughter said he would have resented this particular change. He had been pressured into leaving his church in 1891 because of his socialist sermons. In his retirement in Florida, he stopped attending church because he disliked the racial bigotry that he found there. Those who support leaving the pledge as it is argue that this country was founded on Christian values and a belief in God, therefore the words under God, should stay in. Some of our founding fathers agree that America WAS founded on Christian principles. John Jay, the first U.S. Supreme Court Justice, wrote in a 1797 letter to clergyman Jedidiah Morse, Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty, as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers. Many Americans agree with this sentiment and feel that the words under God reflect this Christian history. Its who we are as a nation, said Jamie Hepper-Byrd, 24, a local business woman who specializes in the sale of Native American-made goods. It reflects the beliefs and traditions this country was founded on. Others disagree. Many people believe that since the words were not part of the original document, they should not be in the Pledge now. It was added in the 50s as a reaction to McCarthyism. It is not necessary, says political activist Kevin Rose, 34. The separation of church and state was meant to protect the state from the church, not the church from the state, added Rose. Rose is not alone in his sentiments. The words under God were put in because of communism. Today were scared of a different kind of terrorism, so now what? asked atGraphic courtesy of torney Kris Copenhaverwww.norrishill.org Landon. It should come out. It Americans are divided over should have never been added in two little words. the first place. Others have yet another take on this issue. According to a spokesperson for the Montana Right to Life Organization, some pro-life advocates recite the following slightly revised Pledge: I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all, born and unborn, while a few liberals recite a slightly revised version of Bellamys original Pledge: I pledge allegiance to my Flag, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with equality, liberty and justice for all. And how do average school kids feel about this issue? I never really thought about it, said seventh-grader Bekah Kellison. Ive always said the Pledge of Allegiance this way, so I will probably always remember it this way. Her brother, Theo Kellison, 10, agreed with her. I hope they dont make us learn another one, he added. In a nation as diverse as America, is it even possible to come up with a Pledge that reflects the beliefs of everyone while not offending anyone else? That is the challenge, but if the Pledges historical pattern repeats, its words will be modified during this decade.

A View from Section 106: The Greatest Week of the Year

What is the greatest week of sports in the calendar year? This is a question that has inspired countless hours of debate across sports bars and airwaves of this nation. Today, I submit to you The Retort reading public, my answer to this age old question. I must admit this was not an easy conclusion to reach. Several different weeks out of the year make a very strong case for deserving this title: the bowl week between Christmas and New Years, NCAA basketball conference championship week in early March and the first week of a new NFL season come to mind. However, after many minutes of careful deliberation, the choice became clear. The sheer number and variety of major sporting events that take place the week between the first and second Sundays in April make it the greatest week on the sports fans calendar. Just read along through the litany of events that take place during this week and see if you dont agree with me. renewal and promise of Spring as are Easter, Passover or one of the many other spring festivals that mark religious culture throughout the globe.

2. The NC AA Division I Mens NCAA Bask etball Championship Baske Game- Monda y Monday
The single elimination 64 team tournament in college basketball may be a greater sports marketing phenomenon than even the Super Bowl. Just think about the amount of time you expended a few weeks ago filling out brackets in order to enter the pool at your office. It all comes down to

one game before a capacity crowd in some domed football stadium somewhere. If by some miracle your pick is still alive you stand to win a lot of money, but, if like the rest of us, your bracket was busted on the first weekend of the tourney, this game is still worth watching. You might get a chance to catch a glimpse of the next Bird or Magic, to see if, like with Villanova or NC State, the slipper does actually fit Cinderella.

parent with a Minnesota (my dad is from Minneapolis) or a Northeastern upbringing, March Madness often means not the 64-team basketball tournament but the 16 team mens hockey tournament; this also comes to a conclusion this week as the semifinals take place on Thursday and the final on Saturday night. Just in case you missed it, this years championship was won by Wisconsin (Go Badgers!).

3. The NC AA Mens Hoc key NCAA Hock Frozen F our- Th ur sda y/Saturda y FourThur ursda sday/Saturda y/Saturday
For those of us raised by one or more

4. The Mast er s- Thur sda y Master ersThursda sday th rough Sunda y thr Sunday
Think what you want about the membership policies of the Augusta National Golf Club or the combative nature of its chairman Hootie Johnson. I defy any true lover of the game of golf not to have something stirred inside of them when they see those first television shots of the Azaleas in bloom, the perfectly manicured fairways and greens of Amen Corner, the former champions taking that ceremonial tee shot and at the end of the weekend, the presentation of the Green Jacket. In addition to what I have mentioned, here are some of the other events that help make this the best sports week of the year: the NCAA Womens Basketball Championship, the announcement of the NFL schedule, the opening of Major League Soccer and any number of NHL and NBA games with playoff implications. There it is my case why the week between the first and second Sundays in April is the best week of the sporting calendar. If you think there is a stronger case to be made for a different week I would be happy to hear it, although I dont think my mind can be changed.

1. Major League Baseballs Opening Da y-Sunda y Night/ Day -Sunday Monda y Monday
This day should be a national holiday; schools and business should be closed. Families should go to the ballpark ,or, if not, fire up the BBQ and gather around the television. The start of a new season in any sport is an event, but in baseball, it is a spiritual occasion. I will freely and gladly admit there are times when I think that baseballs opening day is just as much a sign of the

Logos courtesy of: NCAA, Augusta National Golf Club and MLB These are just four of the events that make the first week in April the best in sports.

Paulasi Mata vao, Y ello wjac ket V olle yball Coac h: Matav Yello ellowjac wjack Volle olleyball Coach: A Culturally Inf luenced Coac hing Philosoph y Influenced Coaching Philosophy
served for two years as an assistant mens basketball coach and a third assistant womens volleyball coach at BYU-Hawaii. In 2001, Coach P. took the head womens As a member of the Montana State volleyball coaching position at MSU-BillUniversity-Billings volleyball team for the ings. Billings was in the PacWest conferpast three years, I have often been asked, ence (same as BYU-Hawaii). I still got to Does your coach ever yell at you guys? go home to Hawaii. I had been here (MonMy coachs seemingly expressionless coachtana) before, so I didnt think it was bad. The ing style draws attention because it differs program had the opportunity to go somegreatly from societys stereotypical red-faced, where. I didnt think Id be coaching pacing, and spitting college coach; Paulasi womens volleyball, but I saw that there was Matavao (Coach P.), Head Coach of opportunity there as a coach, he explains. Yellowjacket Womens Volleyball, coaches When I asked if coaching women was with control and respect for all the players a tough transition, Coach replied, Mainly and officials involved in the game. He credbecause of the two different athletesdealits his unique coaching philosophy to his ing with male and female athletes is differculture and athletic experiences. He notes, ent. It can be tough; there are different A lot of my values as a person have ways of motivation. Coach has no reto do with culture and upbringing. grets regarding his decision to coach How I handle people has to do with womens volleyball, but he admits that Samoan culturerespecting others. he sometimes wonders what it would It doesnt matter how old a person is, be like to be coaching mens basketI respect the fact that you are a perball. son. A lot of that goes back to your Coach has gathered some of his culture. coaching philosophy from that of Coach P., the eldest of five chilUCLA great, Coach John Woodins dren, was born and raised in Tafuna, pyramid of success: He states, The American Samoa; he spent his childmain philosophy is the well-being of hood farming bananas, taro, and the athlete; you care about a player first breadfruitisland staplesand also and the sport second. You want your enjoyed fishing with a snorkel and athlete to be happy and do well in spear. Upon my arrival at MSU-Billschool. The well-being of my athlete ings, I heard the rumor that Coach P. is most important to me. Coach also was a Samoan prince. Chuckling, he emphasized the importance of recruitexplained to me that he is a high chief ing athletes who will buy into this type in his village, but is currently inactive of program and continue the cycle. because of his departure to the mainCoach P. enjoys seeing an athland. In Samoa, villages are run by lete come into his program, improve, high chief systems; each high chief and by the time she leaves, have fulhas a talking chief, and what the high filled her dreams and goals. He conchief says, goes. If the high chief siders his last season in the PacWest comes to your house and asks for a Photo courtesy of Alexis Sandru (2004) a major accomplishment. We pig, you have to hand over your pig, Coach P. is a true Yellowjacket. beat BYU-Hawaii and Chaminade he explains. Dancing and palm tree climbing were before the games. That was the only time its hard to have a winning season in that also other important events in Coach P.s they asked me to play volleyball for them. conference, he says. The 2004 season was In 1989, Coach graduated from high the first winning season in school history. childhood. Coach informed me that every child is taught to dance in the 4th, 5th, or 6th school and left Samoa for college. He ar- The 2005 volleyball season was a continuagrades in school, but many children begin rived at BYU-Provo to play volleyball, but tion of 2004s successthe Yellowjackets earlier. The best dancers are moved forward there wasnt a scholarship available. Unable switched conferences, while posting a winto competition. I wasnt moved forward, to afford college without the aid of a schol- ning season, as well as finishing second in Coach admitted. In regard to palm tree climb- arship, Coach turned to beach volleyball. He the conference tournament. Coach P. has ing he says Every boy in the island learns, played semi-professional beach volleyball for collected the most victories of any volleyunless you have a good arm, you can just two years and was only one win away from ball coach in programs history. Coach admits that he would eventuthrow rocks. Coach P. would race with his entering the professional circuit when he was brothers to see who could climb the tree the spotted playing basketball by a BYU-Hawaii ally like to move somewhere warmer, but he fastest, and to the best of his recollection, the coach. He returned to Hawaii to play bas- hasnt looked around because there are still a lot of things that he can do at MSU-Billlast time he was up a palm tree was in 2003. ketball on scholarship. In 1998, Coach P. graduated from ings. I want to see this through, take a team When I asked Coach how he became involved in volleyball, he related to me the BYU-Hawaii with a degree in Exercise to Regionals. Division one isnt an option story that his mother loved to tell over and Sports Science with an emphasis in coach- Ive known coaches, and there are too many over again. At our house, we had the foun- ing and teaching. Coach says that he never politics. I like the feel of a smaller program, dation of a warehouse the army had used regretted leaving beach volleyball for col- he describes. College athletics are highly competia big slab of cement. My cousins put up a lege, even though he struggled with the Entive, and each coach has his or her own methrim and net, but I never played volleyball, glish language. Following his graduation, Coach P. ods for motivating athletes; from the in-youralways basketball. In the evenings, the kids came and played volleyballtwenty people would be on the court playing volleyball, but I was a brat and would play basketball in the middle of them. One of my cousins had enough and told me to go put the ball away and come play volleyball. He taught me to play, and I picked it up and liked it. I didnt play basketball for two months in seventh grade. His junior year of high school, he was invited to play volleyball for the Samoan National Team, but he didnt go because his mother didnt want him to leave school. He notes, Mom wanted me to stay and go to school. All the practices and stuff were going to be during school. The team had to go to New Zealand for a preseason tournament face coach to the less-aggressive coach, I have experienced both ends of the coaching spectrum. My reply to the constant questions regarding Coachs quiet methods is simply that he doesnt have to yell to motivate us; his silence can sometimes be more scalding that the hottest words. Coach P.s coaching approach may be considered non-aggressive by some, but it definitely does not lack intensity. His philosophy relies on the idea that his respect for his players is returned, and a sort of contract is formed. Players perform without vocal urgings or threats of punishment; the shared respect personally binds them to conduct themselves maturely, respectfully, and dedicatedly on and off the court. This Samoan-shaped philosophy depends on equality and respect, qualities that in four years an athlete of Coach P.s learns, embraces, and can practice throughout her life.

Baseball Has Its Ups and Do wns

The MSU-Billings baseball teams season has been on a bit of a roller coaster trajectory of late, since a four game winning streak to close out March, the Yellowjackets (9-23, 7-17 HLC) have pretty much traded wins and losses on a one-to-one basis going 3-4 during the first part of April. An example of this on again/off again approach was the four game series MSU-B played with St. Edwards April 7 and 8 at Cobb Field when the Jackets took the first two games and the Hilltoppers the final two. Game one saw MSU-B have to mount a comeback to secure the 6-5 victory as after taking a 3-0 lead in the first inning. The Jackets fell behind 5-3 until in the bottom of the fifth inning when sophomore outfielder Mike Wardell belted a two run homer to tie the game at five, which is where it remained until the bottom of the seventh when freshman infielder Matt Kakalecik led off the inning by taking SEU pitcher Taylor Land deep for the walk off game winner. In game two it was pitching that led MSU-B, as Jacket hurler Kyle McBride threw a five hit shutout to give MSU-B the 6-0 victory over the Hilltoppers. Game three was a different story, however, as the Jackets were unable to really get anything going on offense managing only one hit while SEU came out swinging for the fences as the Hilltoppers took the MSU-B pitching staff to town winning by the commanding score of 17-1. Game four was a little better as the Jackets fell behind 8-1 after two innings and despite mounting a late inning rally still fell short 10-6.We didnt hit the ball well on Saturday, said head coach Chris Brown. We got down and didnt get the timely hits. We didnt pitch, hit or field like we are capable of and that was the difference in Saturdays games versus Fridays. We were unable to take control of the game. Our focus was not where it needed to be as we worried about things that were out of our control. The Yellowjackets will have plenty of chances to rebound from their disappointment, however, as they still have 12 more home games remaining as they host three consecutive weekends of doubleheaders at Cobb Field. April 2122 they will take on Oklahoma Panhandle, April 28-29 St Marys comes to town and the season concludes May 5 and 6 as MSU-B hosts Incarnate Word.

Photos by Matt Langman Yellowjacket baseball and Lady Jacket softball have both experienced rough patches in their performance this season, but continue to swing away.

Softball Breaks Slump With Sweep of OPSU

Following a tough road trip to Western New Mexico, St Marys and Incarnate Word, where they lost 11 of 12 Heartland Conference games, the MSU-Billings Lady Yellowjacket softball team (12-28, 5-11 HLC) began its end of the season homestand on a positive note. The Lady Jackets took all four games from Oklahoma Panhandle during a weekend series at Cenex Stadium April 7-8. It was good to play at home in front of friends and family after being on the road so long, said head coach Sean McGary. We really put together four good games. Game one was a demonstration of offensive fire power by MSU-B as the Jackets scored 10 runs on seven hits, including home runs from senior centerfielder Christy Wankel and junior infielder Aysha Maddox while freshman pitcher Terina Stacks gave up only one run on five hits in six innings to earn her first victory of the season. The 20 minutes between the end of game one and the start of game two of the double header were apparently not enough time for the MSU-B bats to cool off as junior first baseman Rachel Qurenberg led the Lady Jackets to a 14-6 route going four for five from the plate with two homers and a double driving in seven runs. Its so nice to have the offense step up and get some runs right away, said McGary after the victories. We manufactured a few runs and then hit some home runs. It became apparent at the start of game three, however, that OPSU would not be content just to roll over and allow MSU-B the satisfaction of four straight home wins with out getting a fight. In Saturdays first game the Lady Aggies jumped out to an early lead scoring two runs on four hits in the top of the first, forcing Lady Jacket starter Lisa Moore from the game. The Jackets would comeback, however, scoring one run in the first and five more in the second to take the lead for good. Coming out of the bullpen, Stacks would allow two runs on three hits while striking out three to give MSU-B the 6-4 win. The Jackets would encounter no such trouble in the series finale, however, as they rode a seven run first plus a complete game two hit shut out from Rebekah Tsatsa to a 9-0 victory giving MSU-B the series sweep and its longest winning streak of the season. The Yellowjackets have one more weekend of home games before the Heartland Conference Tournament in San Antonio April 27-29. On April 2122 MSU-B hosts the Lady Blue Tigers of Lincoln University for four games at Cenex Stadium. Game times on Friday are 3 and 5 p.m. while on Saturday game one is scheduled for noon with game two to follow at 2 p.m.

P oems by Jessica W ade Wade

Swimming
You sloshed into the pool, tall and brown and burly, your belly a soft protrusion over the tops of your swim trunks. I swam to the steps to meet you and wrapped my arm around your neck, the stored-up warmth from the sun still radiating from your skin. With the other hand, I plugged my nose, and after giant breaths, we plunged under the surface with the skill of a breaching whale. I clung, tiny and pale compared to you, my hair flowing in a tangled mass of silk. Though my eyes were closed, in my mind, I saw us: An underwater creatureblue, powerful, and for once, wholethat swam belly-close to the bottom, your strong arms pulling us through silence.

Poems by Aaron Bryers

I was once asked what are you? I thought puzzled, As if in a stupor, I had an answer! I know what I am By what I once was I am molten rock, Was once fire, and twice ice, I am slime, once was a tree, Once birthed a bird, Three times hence a lizard (of varying size) What I am now Is a collage Distantly blurred.

Ev olution Evolution

I know how to walk alone: Eyes forward, no sideways glance, Passing by boys who stand in line, Their grubby fingers turning over, probing and examining so many girls and hand me downs. I walk byposture erect, a bit of confidence in my stride and pretend I never wanted to be wanted anyway.

The Walk

The Worm
Sometimes, late at night, the hard exterior of makeup and smile cracks, and a raw and writhing worm escapes. I cant love, it says. I cant be loved. True, you are a vile worm, I say. Id hate you if I didnt feel so sorry for you. Will you love me? it asks. I wish I could. I wish I could wrap it in my arms and not shudder at the touch of wormy skin. I wish I could tell it everything will be ok: You are deeply loveable. You are not disgusting. All lies that he told you. All lies! But instead, I pat its head, curl it in a ball and stuff it back inside.

So it was That a worm Bore his way Into a shapely apple He smiled inwardly As he ate fitfully about Crossing his abounding world Inside that bounding apple, with holes. A day it came to pass Eagerness had laft him That apple was no more Twas just a bounding hole. The little wormhis world lost Cried out in anger, where has it gone?! Arent we all But a worm In an abounding apple?

Untitled

Ask a physicist what governs the actions Of the universe He shall saymathematical equations. Ask a philosopher what governs the actions Of the universe He shall sayincomprehensible forces That never thought to name themselves with math.

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Writing Across My Ages

y interest in writing started early, and somewhere hidden deep within one of the many stacks of paperwork that adorn my library, I have a file folder that contains my first bona fide attempts at producing poetry. I produced these simplistic works in the classic June, moon, spoon style and probably would not have given them another thought had not my sixth-grade teacher preempted them from the trash bin and declared them works of art. Because of his questionable assessment that I was destined to either win a Pulitzer or be published in Highlights magazine, I embraced the idea that I was a writer possessing uncommon skill and talent. The fact that I didnt actually write anything of substance for years afterwards didnt detract from my self-image as a writer. I was more than satisfied to rest on the laurels of three grade school poems. My next serious venture in writing surfaced when I was 19 years old and employed as a ticket-taker and announcer in a strip club, where I gained a degree of notoriety for introducing the dancers with a special brand of racy, colorful expression. After one such announcement, I rolled up the cord, laid the microphone under the popcorn machine, and turned my attention back to Ivan, a frequent visitor who never paid to see the entertainment. Instead, he preferred to hang at the counter for hours and watch the expressions on the faces of the customers who had paid for the entertainment. Youre very creative, he said. Have you considered writing? Oh yes, Im a writer, I responded. I write poetry. The next time he came in, Ivan brought a couple pages torn from a magazine devoted to helping writers sell their material. The article was titled Pulp Friction and it referenced a stock formula for writing mass market porn paperbacks. A manuscript with eight to ten chapters, each containing a detailed sex scene, could summon up to $600, which seemed to be an exorbitant amount of money for very little effort, considering that I could easily tap the lurid tales of the hookers that always seemed to materialize out of thin air when the stripper was done with her show. The strippers were also ripe with fodder for my stories. They would invariably claim that they were only dancing to pay their college tuition, or to support their invalid aunt, but it didnt take a rocket scientist to figure out their game. Overnight, I became the cub reporter of the local adult entertainment scene, and I carried a notebook with me at all times to record impressions, ideas, and the details of some really deviant acts that some people would just volunteer once they learned that I was going to write porn for fun and profit. Too nave to realize that much of this sharing was nothing

by Anne Kindness
ally developed a little bit of a fan base. In the eight months that I maintained the journal, I logged over 7,500 visitors. Because I was writing for sheer pleasure and was in total control of the subject matter, I think that many of the entries in my journal stand as some my freshest, most entertaining material. Once I am relieved of the constraint of homework-packed weekends, I intend to polish the contents of the journal into a series of short stories. If nothing else, my college experience has given me a greater opportunity to exercise my writing skills, although quantity does not always lead to quality. Despite broad exposure to some exceptional prose, I continue to cling to the style of writing that I developed before I entered college. However, higher education has given me an expanded vocabulary with which to discuss the act of writing. I now know that I am a descriptive grammarian, and while I admire the prescriptive form of the written language, I have an innate resistance to incorporating it into my own routine. College also introduced me to extemporaneous writing, which is a type of speed composition that exists nowhere outside of academia. The timed, extended essay examination is a cruel and unusual punishment for someone who prefers to doodle in the margin of her notebook until inspiration strikes, or to mentally compose thoughtful, eloquent responses while defuzzing sweaters or raking cat crap out of the flower beds. I like to let things roll around in my head for awhile before I set pen to paper, so the immediacy of in-class writing is something that I will not miss when I leave the hallowed halls of this institution. But overall, the college experience has given me some confidence in my ability to write. In the real working world, the only way a person knows that he or she has met or exceeded an expectation is resounding silence, because all the available attention is focused on those who fail to meet the expectations. So the real value of college comes in the form of thoughtful feedback from instructors, and through that feedback, I have learned to tailor my written expression to please the individual instructors that comprise my audience. As I proceed through life, I doubt that I will continue to write about Thomas Carlyles center of indifference or Platos theory of forms. I suspect that I will revert back to writing irreverent observations of daily life and obsessive ruminations about my struggle to lose weight. But thanks to colligate exposure, I can take comfort that the idea of my fat ass has more weight than the behemoth that strains the seams of my jeans. And that alone, my friend, is worth every penny that I have poured into my education.

more than an overt attempt to engage a young woman in dirty talk, I took the task seriously and began to block out story lines for what I imagined would be a whole series of $600 manuscripts that I could churn out over a long weekend. I do not recall why I lost interest in writing porn paperbacks, but I eventually put my notebooks away in the bookshelf where they stayed until years later when a man I was dating found them. I must have demonstrated some skill in my writing, because after he discovered my research and story outlines, he looked at me with brighter eyes than he had before. When I got a job in local government, my position required me to bang out correspondence and do a lot of technical writing. In some ways, I think the exacting detail required when one writes policy, procedures, and guidelines is more difficult than producing fiction. Some may argue that there is no imagination involved in technical writing, but I have spent a fair amount of my professional life conjuring images of complete idiots who might depend on my written direction to guide them in performing critically important tasks. Technical writing screams for an unerringly accurate interpretation of the intentional fallacy. To maintain my sanity and provide a balance to the tedious nature of writing procedures and guidelines, I take great pleasure in producing creative announcements of employee milestones and flippant informational notices regarding internal housekeeping issues. After awhile, I established a reputation for effective verbal and written communication, and I was contracted by the state to develop and teach basic programs at the Law Enforcement Academy. As with my regular, full-time job, my written work for the academy could be called into court, so clarity and accuracy was essential. The other mandate in writing for the academy was brevity, primarily because the State of Montana was so damn cheap with the copier. God forbid that an instructor printed a classroom handout that exceeded one duplex page! I was forced to condense work so that the record associated with my copier code wouldnt flag my name for a visit to the administrators office for the standard watch your expenses lecture. Of course, in the extra-perceptive government approach, the bean counters were only concerned with the amount of paper being used, so instructors would take revenge by adorning handouts with so many decorative borders and graphics the expensive toner would flow like the champagne at a Burns/ Abramoff luncheon. In the brief period of calm between my sideline with the State of Montana and my return to college, I started an online journal titled Running with Scissors that began as a chronicle of my skewed view of daily life and morphed into an ongoing diatribe that actu-

PO WW OW fr om fr ont page POW WO from front the school has ever sponsored. We wanted to things different this year, said Windy Boy. We brought two host drum groups. The Whitefish Jrs., from Big River, Saskatchewan, and the Southern Boyz, from Chattanooga, Ok, provided the drums. The two groups alternated songs with Whitefish Jrs. playing one song followed by a song by the Southern Boyz. Fans swarmed around the drum circles clutching hand held recorders in hopes of capturing the sounds of the popular groups. This type of song you dont hear up north too often, said Windy Boy of the Southern Boyz. Indians know when a good drum group is coming. For those who have never been to a Pow wow, the Grand Entry is perhaps the most spectacular aspect. The procession began with the flag song and the entrance of the Eagle Staff Carrier, Ronnie Goodeagle, who is well-known along the pow wow trail and teaches Native American Studies in Flandreau, S.D. [The Eagle Staff is a] representation of peace, said Windy Boy. It welcomes everyone into the arena and represents all nations unified in one. Following the Eagle Staff Carrier were the Chief Plenty Coups Warriors, wearing army fatigues and feathered headdresses, carrying a U.S. flag, a state flag and a tribal unity flag. Rather than the traditional march one would expect from color guard the Warriors executed a sort of shuffle-stepdance movement around the arena. This is how we honor them, said Windy Boy. The flag song is to remember soldiers and warriors who have passed on. Behind the color guard came the pow wow princess followed by all the other dancers in full regalia. The ensuing display was a rainbow colored pulse of feathers, beads, braids and fringe throbbing, twirling and bouncing in time to the drumbeats. The next song played was the victory song, which Windy Boy said was celebratory of the return of warriors from battle and war. Closing the Grand Entry was the honor song, during which all movement ceased. At this point the arena was opened for an intertribal social dance where anyone could enter and dance with the contestants. Then the dance contests began. About 25 vendors also set up camp inside Metra Parks Expo Center. T-shirt stands were peddling onesies reading Fry bread baby and shirts for adults reading Native Pride among other sayings. There was a table selling drum CDs, another covered with turquoise bracelets and red coral rings. More jewelry for sale was beaded pieces and some made from elk ivory. Additional crafts up for purchase were dream catchers, sweet grass, beaded moccasins, pouches and barrettes. Native dancers came from all over the United StatesOk. and Wis., Idaho and S.D. Some of the Native Americans in attendance were very traditional steeped in the old ways, while others straddled contemporary culture and native culturetorn in two directions. Some contestants live the pow wow trail traveling most weeks of the year and yet others squeeze in the ritual on weekends when their jobs and other commitments permit. The pow wow welcomed members of the community from in and around Billings. Also in attendance were several MSU-Billings students, including a handful of international students. After experiencing such success, ITIC is already planning on ways to outdo themselves next year.

For Paris (33) and Acosia (26) Leighton and their children Dancing Star (6) and Paris, Jr. (4), of Ridgecrest, Ca., the pow wow trail is their life. The family competed in 42 pow wows last year. For them, winning dance competitions is their income as well as their heritage. Its a religious way of life, said Leighton, Sr. Its sort of like a Native American church. All my uncles growing up used to sing and dance all the time; I grew up with it. Leighton is the number one rated female jingle dancer in the U.S. right now. She met Paris when she was 18. He told her he though she had potential and took her under his wing, teaching her to sew and encouraging her as a dancer. Theyve been together ever since.

Elliot Mountain Sheep, 38, of Crow Agency, has been dancing for only five years. I enjoyed watching so I figured I might as well get into it, said Mountain Sheep. Even though he is mostly self taught, Mountain Sheep thinks its good for children who get started early. Its good for them, he said, to keep them going.

Terri Longfox, 36, of Billings, dances mostly to honor her grandmother. My grandmother loved for her grandchildren to dance, said Longfox. She quit dancing, as is the custom, for one year following the death of her brother and her grandmother in 2002. I didnt ever want to dance again, said Longfox. Then I started making a dress. During the process of constructing her own outfit, Longfox felt the itch to get back into dancing. Today she and her niece both dance at pow wows. Longfox believes its important to carry on the tradition left by her grandmother. My grandmother could barley walk and shed still dance, said Longfox. She said that without upholding the Native traditions, We forget who we are. Were not Indians anymore if we forget who we are.

Wayne Crue, 18, of Fort Hall, Id., was adopted by a white family. When he was 11 years old his adoptive family brought him back to the reservation where he began learning about Native culture. His biological family got him involved with dancing. Im a grass dancer, said Crue. It originated from when dancers flattened the grass where ceremonies would take place. Pow wows are more contemporary mixing the old with the new; it still has its ceremonial basis. Its healing for people to watch us danceits about whats in your heart when you dance.

Sandra Yellowfish, 58, of Ok., and her family came to the pow wow partly to reunite with their Crow relatives who live in the state. Pow wows are in her familys blood. My mother passed last year. She was 75, said Yellowfish. She danced until then. Yellowfish said shes been dancing as long as shes been walking, and the same goes for her children and grandchildren. My daughter is the head lady dancer, said Yellowfish. Of her granddaughter Vylet Stonecalf, 3, Yellowfish said she was born into a pow wow family.

All photos by Matt Langman