Personal Liar 1

Subduing Our Personal Liar

Angela Dykstra

Axia College of the University of Phoenix

Elizabeth Roundy

August 20, 2006

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According to the teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz (2004), a nagual° of the Toltec° tradition,

our personal liar is born at age three by seeking the approval of an authority figure in our lives;

usually a parent. Our personal truth is literally stolen as a child; replaced with biased un-truths

formulated by the history of another person’s pursuit of acceptance. As we age, our personal liar;

known as our mind, has turned every falsehood imaginable into the fuel that will feed its

insatiable appetite. Subduing the expert liar residing in the individual mind by adherence to

personal truth is a skill that once mastered, allows human perfection to re-exist.

Those we entrust to teach us the early truths about being human are usually unaware they

are programming us to become personal liars. We are born into the legend of our parent’s lives

filled with their interpretation of their perceived truths formulated by their past experiences. Our

character is given a name and provided a developing story line that will weave itself into the plot

of our family unit. A young child relies significantly upon another to provide the basic needs of

his or her existence which equates into our first truth; unconditional love of another is an

authentic state of existence. All too soon however, in order to maintain our comfy fit in our pre-

determined family narrative, we are forced to replace our first truth with our first lie. Alienation

of affection is the true result of our unconditional love for self.

Many would agree that teaching children right from wrong is the very foundation of a

civilized society. And with little argument, most adults would rate this duty high on the Top 10

list of parental responsibilities. Our global society is encouraged by law and through practice, to

view a young child’s mind as the personal property of their parents. As an example widely

evident in US culture, too many parents are teaching young intellectual property that the color of

their skin will determine their lot in life. One could argue that because this particular lie is touted
nagual: A shaman who guides an individual to personal freedom. Toltec: Ancient society of scientists and
artists clustered in Teotihuacan, Mexico who were exploring and conserving the spiritual knowledge of their ancient
ones.
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as truth, we are intentionally and repeatedly programming individuals to expect, accept, and

perpetuate the existence of racial disparity; thus creating a self fulfilling prophesy.

By the time we enter school, our young minds have been conditioned to easily negate

personal truths because our need to “fit in” has become an addiction. Nourishing our dependence

on the personal liar will become a priority in our daily lives, further discoloring the entire canvas

of self. In an effort to nourish our existing self lies and unfortunately believe in new ones, we as

young people will often cluster in groups that support and encourage self loathing, physical

abuse, substance abuse, and violent aggression. The ease with which we succumb to these

various peer-pressures is a clear indicator a self lie has advanced into a dangerously distorted

new truth.

If our parents were skilled in creating their storybook clones, our incubating personal liar

will emerge publicly; absent many personal truths. Of course not every young person in the US

continues to nurture his or her personal liar. Some are choosing to silence their lying mental

beast, permanently. On the CDC website, the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control

citing 2003 as the data source date, lists suicide as the number three cause of death among young

people aged 10 – 24 (“Leading Causes”, 2003). We are told by medical sources that suicide is

most often the final product of a deep depression. The website Suicide Awareness Voices of

Education provides a depression checklist which includes thoughts of: I am alone, ugly, and

therefore different from other people. I hate myself, my life, and the people in it. I am unworthy

of love and affection (“Depression Checklist”, 2005). The preceding examples are also what our

personal liar tells us all the time; forcing our personal truth volume to become barely a whisper.

When we have based our entire concept of personal self in third party lies masquerading

as truths, we will have arrived in the jungle of life ill prepared for survival; let alone any honest
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hope of obtaining and sustaining personal human perfection. Many people will spend the

majority of their adult lives navigating a regurgitated self lie hyped by the media, our partner, our

family, our employer, our neighbors, our friends, and perhaps a stranger we pass on the street

driving a new Hummer.

Sadly, our pursuit of personal and professional happiness often becomes contingent upon

what other people think about our individual choices. If “successful” can be defined as gaining

favor then it is entirely possible we can be conditioned to achieve personal and professional

goals based upon a set of standards previously dictated by another. As in the beginning, clinging

to the original self lie of ignoring personal truth in order to gain mass acceptance will forever

wreak havoc in our lives.

With an abundance of help available, it is definitely possible to regain our personal self-

evident truths. The US Constitution guarantees as law that we are all created equally and it is our

legal right to follow our personal truth when making choices regarding life, liberty and the

pursuit of happiness. This author has kept a journal of her lies for the past 23 years in an effort to

find ways to always speak her personal truth. And surely if god is an omnipotent perfect being,

and all humankind was created in His image then we too must be a perfect work based on His

perfection. A lie will cease its continual damage when confronted with the truth. Master the skill

of living life according to personal truths; and witness firsthand the authentic self as a humanly

perfect being.

References
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Centers for Disease Control, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (2006). 10

leading causes of death, United States 2003. Retrieved August 17, 2006, from

http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/

Ruiz, M. (2004). The Voice of Knowledge. In M. Ruiz (Ed.), The voice of knowledge. (pp. 29-

44). San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc.

Suicide Awareness Voice of Education (2005). Depression check list. Retrieved August 17, 2006,

from http://www.save.org/depressed/checklist.html