Tips for Accommodating the ADD/ADHD Child

Many times when leaders hear that a child is ADD or ADHD, panic sets in. It doesnt have to be that way. This article will give you insights and simple tips to use with all children, including those very active, unfocused children and children you think are ADD/ADHD.
by Linda Ranson Jacobs of you have asked for help with the Many ADD/ADHD child. I have refrained sitting next to me at conferences and in church because my legs move, my arms move and I fidget horribly. I would be that problem child in DC4K. Because the mind of an ADD/ADHD child (or the child under tremendous stress) is chaotic, unorganized, unreliable and many times does not think in logical sequences or in concrete terms, these children need structure and boundaries to help them. One thing to remember is, dont ever assume the child understands or knows what the expectations are. If the child does something one way at school or home and comes to you and you have slightly modified it, it may take the child several reminders from you of how you expect things to be. He or she has to practice how to act. Snack time is a good example. You want the child to sit in the chair to eat, but at home maybe he or she is allowed to stand up and walk around while snacking. Explain how you want things to be. I would make it a point to do this the first few sessions the child attends. Have some fun with this, and make a game of the child practicing sitting down, eating, etc. After you know the child understands, in the future you can use a cue such as putting your hand on his or her shoulder or saying the childs

from responding simply because there are so many experts out there who have their own agendas and opinions. However, I think its time I shared with you how I have dealt with the ADD/ADHD child. First let me give you an opinion I have. After working with children for over 30 years, I believe many children are misdiagnosed. If you look at the Diagnostic Criteria from DSM-IV-TR (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association) definition and symptoms, you will see that many children under stress, experiencing a crisis or experiencing the divorce of their parents will exhibit the very same symptoms as the ADD/ADHD child. There are medical conditions that mimic the ADD/ADHD child also. From my own experience, I have a hypothyroidism condition. I cannot sit still and intake information. I learned early on that my body has to be moving in order for me to learn. I take copious notes; I draw pictures or scribble and doodle on scraps of paper. If I sit still, it seems my brain goes into sleep mode with no screen saver. People hate

name to remind him or her of how to act. Use any cue that will help the child be successful. Many of these children will do better with pictures, icons, signs, hand signals and cues than the spoken word. When the child walks in the door, take him or her aside and rehearse or go over the session schedule. Ask the child to help you develop some hand signals or facial expressions so you can use these to stimulate his or her brain as to what comes next. For some children, give them their own copy of the schedule. They can fold it up and carry it around with them. Role play works well with some of these children. Example: Hey Jason, I noticed last week that you had a little bit of a problem focusing at different times. I can understand because when Im under a lot of stress, the same thing happens to me. I want to share with you how I handle this. Lets go over to the side of the room and pretend we are walking through tonights schedule. When its time to change activities, Ill find you with my eyes and give you this signal (thumb out like a hitchhiker). This will remind you its time to stop what you are doing and go stand in the circle. You can also use the same technique to cue the child when his or her behavior is not appropriate. I developed a particular look with my face and eyes and just a slight nod, kind of a half no nod, of my head to let a child know his or her behavior was inappropriate and needed to stop. It is important to make eye contact when using signs, signals and speechless communication. When a child is getting out of control or starting to cause problems, a terrific body signal for many of these kids is simply a shrug of your shoulders with a look on the

face that says, So you blew it! There are no repercussions just some attention and validation that says, Hey kid, you really messed up. Now shake it off. Move on. Try again. You can do it. You dont verbalize this, just use the look as my kids used to call it. Short verbal phrases such as Oh well! work well with many of these children. Another one is the word Bummer! with a lot of expression. Bummer conveys empathy and sympathy but doesnt take ownership of the childs problem. As the adult, you will have to refrain from saying anything more than the word Bummer! or Oh well! and believe me, this can be very difficult. You will want to say, How could you do that? Or How many times have we been over this? and If you will just concentrate, you wont keep making these mistakes. Or Get in control. Calm down. You dont want to get in the habit of giving a lot of attention to some of these behaviors. For many of these children, even negative attention is attention. Some of you are just going to have to change your mindset about these children. Keep remembering that it is impossible for them to sit still and pay attention. Maybe you have a child who would listen better if he or she were not sitting with the rest of the group. Possibly you have a child who would listen if that child were eating a snack while others were watching the videos. Get these kids moving in organized fashion. Organized movement on the outside creates organized movement in the brain. Use those cross lateral and cross midline movements! You might try the touch approach. Some of these children need personal touch to help them calm down. When you read the Bible, you find that Jesus touched people. There was such healing in His touch that people wanted to be able to just touch the hem of

His garment. For many children, a touch is healing. Pray for them; pray with them. Try taking little Johnny aside and praying, Dear God, thank you for Johnny. Help him to know that we love him and we want him in our DC4K family. In Jesus name, Amen. Some of these children dont experience successes, so lets help them have success at DC4K. God created every child, and God brings the children to your specific DC4K group. Study these children. Find their strengths, and use their strengths to enhance your group. Be quick to listen, slow to speak [and act] and slow to become angry [and send them away] (James 1:19).

MMV by the author and/or Church Initiative. All rights reserved. Reproducible only when used with a Church Initiative ministry program. Linda Ranson Jacobs is the DC4K creator and developer. For more information, email info@dc4k.org. To discover more about DivorceCare for Kids or to find a DC4K group near you, go to www.dc4k.org.