Listening Listening skillsAccording to Allan and Barbara Pease The ability to read a persons attitudes and thoughts by their

behaviour was the original communication system used by humans before spoken language evolved. Thus we see that receiving information was the primitive communication system. The importance of listening can thus very easily be understood. God has given us two ears to listen while only one mouth to speak. Clearly with an intention, that we should speak less and listen more. There are distinct advantages of speaking less and listening more. Firstly, if we speak less we will have more time to think and fewer words to select in the same time. Thus, there will be fewer chances of mistake and also we can prepare better language to convey the message. Hence there are better chances of achieving the purpose of communication, less energy consumed and better result

achieved. Listening is one of the most difficult arts of communication process, most of us are not ready to accept that we do not listen, or at least do not listen to the extent that we actually should. Most of the times when we feel that we are listening, we are only hearing. There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is with senses, listening is with the mindWhile on the move on the road or elsewhere, or doing some other important work, we may hear something but very little of what we hear in this way is retained and is washed off our memory in a short time, because we have not made a conscious attempt to store it for a longer time. Thus we see that hearing may be sub-conscious. On the contrary, listening is always conscious, we have to make a conscious attempt to listen. We have to concentrate on the speaker, our mind simultaneously works to analyse the

data as we continue to listen. Listening is a means of interpersonal oral exchange and is an active process of eliciting information, ideas, attitudes and emotions. Fallacies about listeningThere are many fallacies attached to listening, we usually carry a good image about ourselves and do not readily accept our mistakes, hence we carry an attitude that I do not have listening problem. Listening is not my problemI always pay attention to what is being talked about and if I have not been able to perceive something, it is the fault of the speaker who was not able to convey it clear enough. Listening and hearing are the sameWe often consider listening and hearing to be the same thing and hence while somebody is talking, our mind tends to be drifting to something else. We continue to hear but the mind stops working on the received data, the retention is less and for a shorter duration, we are not able to perceive enough of the data

and the communication is failed. Good readers are good listenersGood readers may not necessarily be good listeners. There is no relation between being a good reader and a good listener. While reading, your absolutely different senses are at work i.e., eyes, on the other hand while listening, your ears are at work. The brain however is utilized during both but the data is processed in different centres of the brain. Smarter people are better listenersSmarter people may be more effectively able to conceal their weakness of not listening, but it is not necessary that they are better listeners. Better listening requires proper training of the mind which is entirely different from being smart. Listening improves with age This again is a myth, the brain needs to be trained continuously for good listening otherwise the quality may deteriorate.

Learning not to listenWhen we have a different opinion or we are not convinced with the speaker, we tend not to listen to his point. Thinking about what we are going to say rather than listening to the speakerThis is one important reason why people tend not to listen to the speaker. Talking when we should be listeningIn case when we are not convinced with the speaker, we tend to interrupt and present our logics to not being so, this interferes with listening process. Hearing what we expect to hear rather than what is being actually saidPresuming what the speaker is going to say is another reason why people tend to get distracted and fail to listen. Not paying attentionThere may be innumerable reasons for not paying attention like disinterest, not being convinced etc.

PreoccupationThinking something else, while the other person is talking. PrejudiceDue to some prejudice, we decide consciously or subconsciously not to listen to what is being said. Barriers to active listening Besides the above there may be several barriers to effective listening. Environmental barriersExtra noise in the vicinity will hamper the hearing and hence the perception of the message. Physiological barriersIf the person listening has some physiological problems like he is hard of hearing, premature or under developed to understand the message.