Dir John: Hello! Hi! Hey! I would like to apply myself to the job.

/ I would like to offer myself for the job / I would like to suggest myself to the job. / I would like to nominate myself for the office of counselor. I am a suitable candidate. I am a 20 year old gay. I'm interested in the sports instructor you are offering. My age is 17 years old. In spite of my early age, I would like to be a counsel at your camp. I consider myselfs feet for the job for some reasons: I am a birth cooker. I know the basic of cooking. I always cook square meals for my family. I have a special fond for children. Overmore, I will give a lot of prices for the kids. I can keep a stiff upper lip and I am very reflexible. And the most very important reason is that I can do the job on the best side. I am a qualified candidate. Nevertheless, I know English. No matter what I write you, you won't believe me. I extremely hope that you will hire me.

Yours, XXXXXX

Other Bloopers Why you should hire me for the job of counselor/ sports instructor/ cooker/ bodyguard (yes, bodyguard) etc.: My English is very well and I can speak fluently with public. As a counselor in camps abord, I was practicing my English which it very good now. I have a chemist with the children. I love children in all of my hearts. I know speaking English in highly level. Ecksept for my wonderful personality ,charisma and the love for the United Nations of America, I've graduated with honor from the University of Mississippi (spelled 100% correctly) and the university of life . I've seen it all from China, to India and the USA puts them all in her back pocket. And my favorite so far: First of all, I have a PhD in psychology from Harvard University, and might I say, I graduated top of the class.

Tan Chai Whatt 123 Jalan Sentosa Bukit Baru 75150 Melaka 31 May 2007 Mr. John Ponudurai The Director SDARY International School Jalan Bijak 77300 Merlimau. Dear Mr. John, Application for the Post of Sports Instructor

Tel: 06-1234567

With regards to the above, I will like to apply for the post. I am a 20 year old male and I have experience being a sports instructor. Below are the reasons for your consideration: 1. I am good at cooking and I always cook good food for my family. 2. I am especially fond of children and I like to reward children for their effort. 3. I am discreet but flexible. 4. I can communicate in English. Enclosed with this letter is my C.V. I hope to hear a positive reply. Thank you. Yours sincerely, XXXXXX