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You will make your conflicts disappear when you understand them in their ultimate root, not when you want to resolve them.
Conflict. In course of life, we all face inconveniences, difficulties or problems that we have to overcome. There is nothing wrong with this, on the contrary, it gives a certain flavor to life. However, a conflict is something different, because it put us in a situation without solution and we get stuck in our evolutionary process. There are different types of conflicts, but most of them are experienced as an internal division in which one part of our being pulls us in one direction, and the other in a different one. In this situation neither of the possibilities can satisfy us. The only real solution of a conflict lies in understanding the root of it. Only then, the contradiction is dissolved. Understanding. Something that has not been understood remains as a question, disconnected from the whole structure of the mind. This question disturbs the mind till the moment it is understood. When we understand something we feel that it fits exactly in our mental picture. Thus we get a more global view, and new comprehensions take place. In order to solve a conflict we need to look at it from the outside, with a detached view. Then we can understand the whole picture. For Instance, a rat that is kept in a labyrinth by an investigator, keeps moving in circles for a long time, unable to find the way out. But for the investigator who is observing from the outside and can see the whole labyrinth in front of him, the solution seems very simple. Similarly, a terrible contradiction seems so simple once it is solved, when we look at it with a detached view. The two parts of a conflict. A conflict has two parts: The root which is internal and the external manifestation of it. For instance, if a person gets drunk everyday, it will be useless to lock up the whisky in a cupboard since he will find another way to drink. The drinking habit is showing that something is wrong within him, This is the root of the conflict. When someone makes a remark which upsets us, we cannot say that the problem was caused by the remark. But rather we understand that this remark touched a weak point of our personality. When we are in a conflict, we have two possibilities. We either blame other people or we try to find the mistake in ourselves. Usually, the second possibility is much more difficult. If seems much easier to put the blame on others or on the environment for our problems. Notice that this principle does not say that one should not act in order to solve the problems. We need favorable external conditions for our evolution. But we do not forget that evolution is internal and the material objects can only help us as a means. Mechanisms of the mind, social beliefs and customs that go against this principle. 1. We have said that the root of conflicts is related to some weakness of our personality. It requires a great deal of self-criticism and humbleness to recognize that something is wrong with us. 2. When we are in a conflict we try to find solutions in a hurry, motivated by the urge of getting out of the problem. Thus we make decisions without reflecting sufficiently, thus aggravating contradiction further. 3. In our present society we live outside ourselves and hardly know what is happening to us internally. Naturally, when faced with a conflict, we also try to find external solutions.

4. People try to find easy solutions for their conflicts. Thus they take all sorts of drugs to reduce their tensions, to relieve headaches, to sleep at night, without caring to discover the root of their conflicts Situations in daily life in which this principle can be applied The roots of conflicts given in these examples are only illustrative and may not be valid for all. 1. I do not like my job, actually I hate it, and I feel tense every morning, when I have to go to office. I cannot quit since I believe that I would not be able to find another job. The root of this conflict can be an internal fear which prevents me from taking a risk and applying for a new job. Or, blaming my present job for my problems can be a justification for not taking the responsibility of my evolution. I say, " for the time being I cant do anything". In this way we do not make use of the possibilities that our job has. 2. I feel lonely and I would like to get married, but I do not want to because I think I am going to lose my freedom. The root of this conflict can be discovered if we realise that the question of losing freedom is not important since anyhow I am not making use of my freedom. Then, I may understand that what is preventing me from getting married is a problem of insecurity, for Instance. 3. I suffer because members of my family do not evolve as I would like. The root of this conflict can be that this situation irritates me because it reminds me that I am stagnant in my own evolution. 4. I feel contradiction because I would like to be more handsome, more intelligent, more rich than what I am. This conflict might have as the origin the fear of accepting my reality . 5. I want to stand first in the examination, but I cannot. This conflict disappears when I understand that what I actually want is the love and recognition of my parents and teachers, and what really matters is learning and using all my capabilities. 6. I suffer because I want to build a new factory, but I cannot get money for this project .This conflict vanishes when I realise that building or not building a factory does not prevent me from growing internally. 7. I suffer because my children do not achieve important positions in society. This conflict is solved when I understand that I want my children to do what I could not do, A person can intellectually understand what is the root of his conflicts, but this will not produce any change unless he emotionally feels the impact of his comprehension. A real understanding shakes the whole being of -a person, and resolutions take place in such situations.