Running head: THE WAY OF BOWEN

Page |1

The Way of Bowen Paul Michael White Brandman University

THE WAY OF BOWEN

Page |2

Human relationships are driven by two counterbalancing life forces: individuality and togetherness, so says the founder of the Bowen Family Systems Therapy, Murray Bowen (Nichols, 2013). Bowen was at the genesis of understanding and recognizing family systems as the complex natural phenomenon they are. Despite the neuroses suffered by individuals within or lack thereof, families experience the ebb and flow of seeking autonomy, yet remaining associated with a specific group for life. So all-encompassing was this approach, that the Center for Family Learning was established in New York by Philip Guerin and Thomas Fogarty, two early proponents of the Bowen System (Nichols, 2013). Betty Carter and Monica McGoldrick are responsible for including their account of the family life cycle and the inclusion of feminism in family therapy. As well, Michael Kerr has demonstrated his steadfast adherence to Bowen through his work as the training director for the Georgetown Family center and a comprehensive book on Bowenian theory (Nichols, 2013). Four major concepts that depict Bowens theory are: differentiation of self, triangles, multigenerational processes, and sibling position.

Differentiation of self is described as an intrapsychic (separating feeling from thinking) and interpersonal (histrionic people) concept (Nichols, 2013). In an attempt to develop more concrete terms, a study was undertaken with the intention of developing a questionnaire to measure the level of differentiation experienced by a given individual; forty-three scaling questions were compiled measuring thoughts and feelings about the survey taker and their interpersonal relationships (Skowron & Friedlander, 2009). Thats easy enough to comprehend, yes? Essentially, to be a differentiated person is to be one with an aptitude thinking and reflecting within any given situation and not to react to emotional stressors, internal or external in origin (Nichols, 2013). Additionally, the strength of a persons ego is paramount to this process. Whereas, an undifferentiated person is the opposite; reacting with melodrama and

THE WAY OF BOWEN

Page |3

defensiveness immediately upon experiencing the stressor. They are too easily swayed by those around them; blaming others and relinquishing personal responsibility, too. Few, if any, actually experience a complete state of differentiation in their lives. Triangles, a most appropriate geometric shape used to analogize an intangible concept. In simple terms, triangles represent the relationship between three people; this relationship frequently comes to fruition when a couple has an unresolved dispute and one releases the tension by bringing in a third party. Thereby, disregards the origination of said dispute which may never get addressed effectively. This could take place within or without an intimate relationship. The third party is often a relative, friend or co-worker. It can also be an object (i.e. a chemical substance or hobby), long working hours or anything that takes away from the issue at hand (Nichols, 2013). These triangles serve to polarize individuals within a given relationship and take away from the important task of differentiation. A main goal in Bowenian therapy is to deconstruct formed triangles.

Differentiation plays a significant role in the third pillar of Bowenian theory as described by the multigenerational transmission process. Where differentiation is lacking, emotionally sensitive/reactive children come about. In turn, this produces anxiety and stress between generations in a family. Instead of dealing with the multiple stressors created here in a healthy manner, some individuals rebel completely by distancing themselves or becoming wholly ingested by their family (Nichols, 2013). The people who cutoff emotionally from family tend to take this new blend and project their every need onto an incoming spouse; this unstable fusion may lead to one of the following: (1) emotional distance from partner; (2) physical or emotional dysfunction in one partner; (3) marital conflict; or (4) problems projected onto children (Nichols, 2013). Therefore, the children most involved, function at a lower level of differentiation, while

THE WAY OF BOWEN

Page |4

the least involved/distanced moves toward a higher level of differentiation (Nichols, 2013). Finally, it should be mentioned, that genograms provide a tangible graphic for better understanding the precise role of each member of a family.

A somewhat controversial idea Bowen promoted is the practice of defining personality characteristics based on the birth order of each sibling. He saw this information as a vital tool for understanding past generations in the absence of verifiable facts (Metcalf, 2011). Its also meant to help determine the role of said child in the familys emotional process (Nichols, 2013). Nichols (2013) defines the first born as one who identifies with power and authority; using size and strength to maintain their position as ruler of the younger siblings. Subsequent children born after, tend to share the attention; have a penchant toward seeing unfairness in the world; and gravitate to the oppressed, which allows them an openness of experiencing the world in substantial waystheir own ways (Nichols, 2013).

Two of the main goals outlined within the context of Bowenian theory are: steadily working to differentiate the self and diminishing anxiety. These are accomplished through a series of interventions. Its important to maintain a low level of emotionality in therapy sessions. In this way, the therapist acts as a coach or guide for each client. It also serves to keep the therapist from becoming entangled in a triangle, as well. Process questions can be used to ground and promote self-reflection (Nichols, 2013). Emotions can get out-of hand during a session, so slowing and reflecting ease the transition away from anxiety. Bowen Family Systems Therapy in action: (genograms first?) In an initial session you are introduced to a 15 year old girl by the name of Elisa. Elisa has been in the foster care system for over 10 years and is currently residing with a foster parent who has plans of adopting her. In this home Elisa has her own room, is treated well, has a cell phone, and for the most part is treated like a regular child. Foster mother

THE WAY OF BOWEN

Page |5

reports that they get along most of the time but there are moments when she does not recognize Elisa. Foster mother shares that she is flexible but Elisa does have to follow rules and it is during those sorts of conversation that create hardship in the home (yelling, screaming, fighting, threatening to cause harm to the parent and herself, damaging property, and at time self-mutilating). Elisa is an average student and has periodic friends which change based on her needs. She is social, engaging, and easy to get along with until you share things that she does not agree with. During the last 2 months Elisa has shared with you that she is EMO, a skater, a Goth, and a vegetarian. As you probed a bit more you realize that she tends to take on the identity of the friends she has at the time. Elisa has 3 siblings who live with her mothers sister in Nevada. This same aunt refuses to allow Elisa to move in with her due to previous suicide attempts (age 10, 12, and 14) while visiting. Elisa shares with you that she misses her mother and wants to get pregnant so that she can show her child the love she never received from her parents. (Browne, 2013)

Stage one, of the treatment plan, will address the immediate issue of putting out fires and calming the system (Brown, 2008). I would make an attempt at completing a thorough and accurate genograms of known family members and those closest to her. This will assist me in laying out the organizational structure of the family system. It may help me determine her birth position, as well; thatll give me a foundation as to where her personality is derived and where it will take her in the future. It is immediately apparent that Elisa an undifferentiated child. She assumes the identity of those closest to her and only when having a certain set of friends is advantageous to her. Despite how well she is treated as a foster child, Elisa tends toward emotional outbursts when challenged with an idea that does not suit her needs or own thoughts. She has also attempted three suicides since the age of ten. The preceding steps build a history of familial patterns and allow an avenue to open towards Elisa becoming more differentiated. In stage two, nuclear family issues (Brown, 2008) will be our focus. This is where any built triangles are deconstructed. Elisa regularly pulls in others to maintain distance from issues with her foster mom and close relatives. She believes that by getting pregnant, she will be able to provide a better life for her child than what she received. Unfortunately, Elisa is doomed to

THE WAY OF BOWEN

Page |6

repeat destructive familial patterns until/unless those issues are resolved prior to developing any other relationship (spousal or parental). The involvement of the foster family and biological family would be strongly encouraged throughout this stage, as well. Interacting together in a safe space will allow wounds to heal, the therapist (me) a chance to build a personal relationship with each member of the family and cutoff family members will get a chance to reconnect (Niolon, 2011). Finally, in stage three, expanding the view to previous generations (Brown, 2008) will engage the acknowledgement of generational patterns. This is especially important when dealing with the potential for substance abuse. Reconnecting with families from whom one has cut-off allows the chemically dependent person to resolve old conflicts and prevents the conflict and, potentially, the chemical dependence, from being transmitted through yet another generation (Cook, 2007). Shedding light on the origins of present day issues, may allow new perspectives to be taken on the problems faced. Thereby, attitudes may shift under a new umbrella of understanding. Bowen Family Systems Therapy may not be a cure-all; however, it can successfully be applied to everything from anxiety and depression to marital conflict, behavioral problems, and family relationship problems. I can easily see this model being effectively used in issues around domestic violence, alcoholism and infidelity, too. What I appreciate most about this model, is its multifaceted approach toward healing individuals through the encouragement of differentiating of self; this is an empowering idea designed to promote autonomy, yet encourages healthy boundaries with their own family systems. The link is not completely severed from whence they came. In some fashion (direct or indirect), familial issues are resolved.

THE WAY OF BOWEN

Page |7

References Brown, J., (2008). Bowen Family Systems Theory and Practice: Illustration and Critique. Retrieved from http://www.familysystemstraining.com/papers/bowen-illustration-andcritique.html. Cook, L., (2007). Perceived Conflict, Sibling Position, Cut-Off, and Multigenerational Transmission in the Family of Origin of Chemically Dependent Persons: An Application of Bowen Family Systems Theory. Journal of Addictions Nursing. 18 (1), pp.131-140 Metcalf, L., (2011). Marriage and Family Therapy: A Practice-Oriented Approach. New York City, NY: Springer Publishing Company. Nichols, M. P., (2013). Pearson Custom Social Work. Boston, MA: Pearson Learning Solutions. Niolon, R., (2011). Bowenian Family Therapy. Retrieved from http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/counseling/bowen.html#Z14. Skowron, E. A. & Friedlander M. L., (2009). The Differentiation of Self Inventory: Development and Initial Validation. Journal of Counseling Psychology. 56 (4), pp.597-598