My Mayor, Unsaid.

What makes one remorseful to the point of video confession, avoidance of press and the unanswerable accompanying question pursuit but lends itself to recoverable offenses of perhaps ethic, or disengagement, a distanced generational gap, misunderstanding, lack of the pseudo pop cultural convenience? Just recognition of loss and the failure of the other side, not that they must pad the cement before the fall, to provide a soft landing, a gracious exodus, an excuse?
My

former colleague, Michael Calabrese, posits a point worthy of discussion, or at least a perspective that allows us to place some matters to the side, for the moment, and discuss that which is unsaid. That is, Specifics matter. Michael introduces the topic of sexual harassment well, both broadly and specifically, and, then, discomfort at jumping on either side: People making general statements such as "He's been harassing women," and therefore must resign, are jumping the gun. "Harassing women" can mean a lot of things. Does he call women "Honey" and "Sweetie?" Cut them off when they're speaking and ask men's opinions? Make overtly sexual comments? Touch them? Get junior staffers alone and aggressively come on to them, then threaten them into silence? All of these behaviors would be wrong. Some of them would be potentially correctable and forgivable, with genuine remorse and commitment. Others would be seriously criminal, and evince such deep flaws of character that no redemption would be possible, at least not as mayor. My guess is that what he's accused of is truly extreme, and that the accusations are true. And I certainly believe Donna Frye when she says she wouldn't have spoken out unless the situation really required it - the behavior was really reprehensible, and almost certainly did happen. She's in a position to make that call. Most of us are not. So while I place great weight on her judgment, I wouldn't join her unless and until I had had the a chance to assess the facts, as she has hadOn the flip side, people like Marti Emerald who have already concluded that Filner deserves a chance to reform his ways are also rushing to judgment. Maybe he doesn't deserve that chance. It depends on what he did. We may never know. It would not surprise me in the least if, knowing that staying in office means the truth will absolutely come out, and further knowing that the truth is really monstrous, he'll resign "for the good of the city" (probably narcissistically blaming the media for creating a distracting atmosphere that inhibits his ability to benevolently govern). Now, we are faced, however, with the dilemma of the accused himself positioning himself as innocent, having previously offering himself as flawed and warranting correction. Yes, both can be true. However, in this case, Mayor Filner provides the prose of self-reflection and, essentially, self-incrimination, As someone who has spent a lifetime fighting for equality for all people, I am embarrassed to admit that I have failed to fully respect the women who work for me and with me, and that at times I have intimidated them." The City of San Diego provides in its Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) Policy Annual Statement, dated July 1, 2012, Harassment includes any unwelcome, unsolicited and/or unwanted behavior which may

offend, humiliate, embarrass, intimidate, or otherwise causes distress because of a persons protected class. Intimidation, specifically, falls squarely within the definition. What is left unsaid? And, I am keenly aware that while no formal charges have been made, the Mayor has somehow admitted something. The City of San Diego touting a 100% response policy must investigate, respond, and take appropriate action. Are we, as a City, really waiting for charges at this point, when the accused himself said, yes, I have intimidated those falling within a protected class, specifically, women? We are faced with more, accusations now of both physical and verbal harassment, inflicted on employees subordinate to the mayor, those on unequal footing, the power imbalance necessitating spokespersons, protectively described and ascribed today our Assembly members Toni Atkins and Lorena Gonzalez. And, alas, the Mayor, too, provides us today with a new position, a glimpse at a fair, unbiased internal melee or perhaps well-orchestrated methodical well-mannered combat, designed to ensure independence and outcome determinative; his innocence to be proven within the confines of this judicious and comprehensive systematic process, I am committed to ensuring a full, complete and independent investigation in response to any formal complaint against me. To ensure the independence of an investigation, all complaints will be referred to the Citys Equal Opportunity Investigative Office (EEIO) which does not report to me. If there are concerns related to the City conducting the investigation, I will authorize the use of an outside independent investigator. While I stand by my comments and pledge of yesterday to make changes to improve the workplace environment in my office, I am confident that a fair and independent investigation will support my innocence with respect to any charges of sexual harassment. Perhaps both are true. I am guilty of moral wrongdoing; I will be comprehensively cleansed of these soon expugnable and purported, exalted charges. My conduct does not rise to the level of actionable, legally recoverable, impeachable offense. What is left unsaid? Where from here, when and how, how many, what truths, what defenses, what level of scrutiny, to what end, does this endure, lasting, ever, never lasting, political fodder, lives and livelihoods, high stakes, not games, compassion and loss, will the City endure to ensure, uncover, uncoil, rewind, revisit, and exploit, victimize and recognize before we know, we will never know, what was unsaid. And, will never be said. Stepping forward is hard. Stepping down, unsaid. In this age of warranted demand for sunshine in a city most known for its sun, less known in recent days for disclosure and transparency, constituents clamor and press cupped hands to glass to glimpse at the spectacle that is mostly, recognizably, tragically, sad. And unsaid.