Vision Joven Inglés

Third Quarter 2013
Leaders in Action
Resilience
Pathnder Day
CONTENTS
Preliminaries
Editorial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 This Quarters Suggested Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Leaders in Action . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
THE YOUTH MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT TEAM AT THE INTER-AMERICAN DIVISION. From left to right: Benjamn Carballo, Jainie Baltodano, Louise Nocandy, Magda Salinas-Marquez
Topics
Thirteen Topics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Friendship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Self-esteem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Resilience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Preparing to be a Friend . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Considerations about Courtship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 The Physiology of Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Principles for Finding the Right Spouse I . . . . . . . . . . 22 Principles for Finding the Right Spouse II . . . . . . . . . 28 Principles for Finding the Right Spouse III . . . . . . . . 30 The Pain of Breaking Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Limits. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 A Successful Courtship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Program
Pathnder Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Additional Material
Powerful Generation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 Click! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Humor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 IAD Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Youth Vision/JulySeptember 2013
Preliminaries
Editorial
ear leaders and young people, As we reach the third quarter of the year, we get closer to a new celebration of our Adventurer, Pathfinder, Master Guide, and youth leader clubs. We have a great and powerful army throughout the length and breadth of our territory. Our uniformed army is known and recognized, because we are servants of God and friends to humanity. We would like the leaders in every church where there is a club to join in a single celebration on Pathfinder Day, and we suggest that they go on Sabbath afternoon to a church where a club has not yet been established to put on a program that demonstrates the blessing that these ministries bring to the children and young people. We should go out to do good in any way we can. We should not limit ourselves to a program within the church. Some unions refer to this day as Youth Sabbath and put on a wonderful program inside and outside the church for the entire day. This year, in the Inter-American Division, we are celebrating the Year of the Laity, and our young people have participated actively in preaching the Word. May Pathfinder Day be one more opportunity to present our clubs as agencies of salvation. The clubs offer the opportunity to know the basic fundamental truths so that an Adventurer or a Pathfinder may make the decision to give his life to Jesus. In addition, our clubs are an excellent means of retention. Where there is a club, there will always be less desertion. Our children and youth leaders feel useful and their sense of belonging and identity are powerfully affirmed. May God bless all the leaders who are committed to the salvation of our children and young people. A big hug for you, my dear leaders.
BENJAMN CARBALLO,
Youth Ministries department director Inter-American Division
http://youth.interamerica.org
A magazine for all Adventist Youth leaders
A PRODUCTION OF THE YOUTH MINSTRIES DEPARTMENT Inter-American Division General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists 8100 SW 117th Avenue Miami, Florida 33183, U.S.A. Telephone: (305) 403-4577/4565 DIRECTOR Benjamn Carballo carballobe@interamerica.org ASSOCIATE Louise Nocandy nocandylo@interamerica.org SECRETARIES Jainie Baltodano baltodanoja@interamerica.org Magda Salinas-Marquez salinasma@interamerica.org SPECIAL COLLABORATORS Atlantic Caribbean Union Mission Belize Union of Churches Mission Caribbean Union Conference Central Mexican Union Mission Chiapas Mexican Union Cuban Union Conference Dominican Union Mission East Venezuela Union Mission El Salvador Union Mission French Antilles-Guiana Union Conference Guatemala Union Mission Haitian Union Mission Honduras Union Mission Inter-Oceanic Mexican Union Conference Jamaica Union Conference North Colombian Union North Mexican Union Conference Puerto Rican Union Conference South Central American Union Conference South Colombian Union Conference Southeast Mexican Union Venezuela-Antilles Union Mission Andrew Burrows Leslie Gillett Anthony Hall Rolando Vega Jose Bouchot Rber Alvarez Carlos Rilio Moiss Prieto Luis Aguilln Esaie Auguste Estuardo Guerra Jean-Phillipe Extrat Zamir Sarmiento Jos A. Gil Michael Henry Mauricio Buitrago Oscar Rivera Julio C. Javier Earnal Scott Germn Daro Prez Israel Presuel Euan Emilio Perche ptraeb@yahoo.com gillettleslie@yahoo.com lawlord35@hotmail.com vegarola@live.com.mx jlbouchot@unionsur.org.mx usiasd@net.cu carlosrilio@hotmail.com moisesprietospr@hotmail.com veinte100@hotmail.com esaie.auguste@wanadoo.fr tatoven64@hotmail.com jpextrat@hotmail.com zamirjass@yahoo.com ptr_tony@hotmail.com mstgh535@yahoo.com mauriciobuitragoz@hotmail.com o_riveliz@yahoo.com jcjavier@upasd.org wilesly70@hotmail.com germandarioperez7@yahoo.com kourchenco70@hotmail.com emiper76@gmail.com
This Quarters Suggested Activities

JULY
Monthly Bible Boom evaluations Evangelistic meetings held by Groups Pulsating Salvation and Service (GPSS)
AUGUST
Monthly Bible Boom evaluations Evangelistic meetings held by Groups Pulsating Salvation and Service (GPSS)
SEPTEMBER
Monthly Bible Boom evaluations Pathfinder Day
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Preliminaries
Leaders in Action
Youth in Mission One Year to Change the World

t the Inter-American Divisions twice-yearly Committee meeting, Carlos Homero Snchez was elected from the North Mexican Union to be the missionary representative of the Inter-American Division in the Youth in Mission project sponsored by the General Conference Youth Ministries department. In his church, this young man has fulfilled the responsibilities of Youth elder, Music department assistant director, Youth Sabbath School director, Small Group coordinator, GPSS leader in the Adventist Youth Society, Adventurers director, Pathfinder Club unit counselor, Pathfinder Club assistant director, and Pathfinder Club director. In addition, he is the Small Group coordinator and coordinator of a Youth Missionary Brigade in the north part of Monterrey that carries out activities such as medical brigades, distribution of food in hospitals, distribution of publications, visits to sick people, and so on. This project was founded based on the urgent need that exists within the Seventh-day Adventist Church for 1. Maximizing the interest and passion of Seventh-day Adventist youth for mission and going from the short-term mission to the long-term. 2. Offering greater opportunities to our youth for them to participate directly in leadership, make decisions, and proclaim the eternal gospel. 3. Integrating youth projects within the framework of the broadest initiatives of the church. 4. Redirecting the best energies of the church so that they stop being focused on peripheral matters and center on the true reason for the churchs existence: missions.
5. Responding appropriately to the alarming number of young adults who separate themselves more and more from the life and mission of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Carlos Homero was in New York Citys missionary project for six months, then he was a delegate to the World Youth Congress in South Africa and now, the IAD keeps him busy in training programs to have more missionaries in the different unions of our division. Carlos left his work and the comforts of his home to dedicate an entire year to the service of God and his neighbors. His life will not be the same after the missionary experience. AY Mission Force is the initiative that offers you the opportunity to be a missionary. Find out about the missionary projects for young people from your conference/mission. Decide to be a young person who participates in the Churchs mission and contributes to changing the world!
Visin joven/julio-septiembre 2013
Topics
Thirteen Topics
for and
GPSS Youth Societies
ear Leaders, Words are very important when giving a message. Thinking about how to get the main message across to our young people every Sabbath, or each week in the small group meeting is a great challenge. Some time ago, I watched a touching video about the power of words. It had to do with a blind person who had a sign that said that he was blind and did not have anything to eat. Everyone passed by and did not pay any attention to the message or the messenger. Very few people responded to the blind mans request by giving him some money. This continued until a woman arrived, took a marker, and wrote another message on the back of the card. Immediately, many people bent over to leave coins for the blind man. He listened with great surprise to the coins falling one after the other. After a little while and with many coins in his possession, the woman returned and he asked her what she had written on the back of the card. She told him what she had written: Today is a beautiful day. I am sorry I cant see it or you. When the words appeal to the heart, they always get a response. The message that we present through the topics seeks to be a means the Holy Spirit can use to reach our young people and touch sensitive areas of their lives. I thank Dr. Yvn Balabarca, professor of the Faculty of Theology of the Adventist University of the Peruvian Union, who has helped us in the preparation of the topics for this quarter that emphasize the sensitive topics in the reality that our young people experience in their daily lives and in their personal challenges. I know that they will be a great resource in their hands and will bless other peoples lives. May God bless our Powerful Generation.
BENJAMN CARBALLO Youth Ministries department director Inter-American Division
F you make a mistake about your current major, go ahead, finish, and then study another. Furthermore, you can have many credits and courses recognized so that the second major may be shorter. On the other hand, you can work for thirty-five years until you retire and then live off your pension, free and with all the time in the world to do what you really like. What I mean is that that mistake has a solution. If you make a mistake in choosing an automobile, its a shame because you spent a lot of money. However, it doesnt matter, you can make the best use of the automobile and then save some money to sell it and buy another. There is a solution to the problem. If you make a mistake in buying a piece of land because your neighbors were not introduced to you, you can always sell it and buy another in another location, taking care of that detail. You have a way out. However, if you make a mistake in choosing your husband or wife, you are joined until death separates you. Divorce? Everyone loses. The best thing is to have a courtship school that will allow you to acquire the elements of good judgment for reducing risks when choosing the person who will be with you the rest of your life.
Main thought: Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a mans friend gives delight by hearty counsel (Proverbs 27:9).
Friendship
also boyfriends and girlfriends, are supposed to help us be better persons. If, to achieve this, direct, painful advice is necessary, friends will offer it because we are important to them. There are very few friendship schools, but this is one of them. Welcome to these topics that are so important in your holistic preparation. Adventist young people will
Summary
A classic quotation about friendship is the following: As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17). Friends, and
Topics
Growth
climb to the highest peaks if they have solid familial support. Every path to intimacy begins with friendship. Friendship is the first step toward the establishment of important, lasting, and eternal human relationships. As children, we played with groups of neighbors, schoolmates, cousins, and relatives, among others. This is a domestic perspective of friendship. This relational process suffers a transformation when we go forward on the path of life toward adolescence in which we assume specialized roles. Our way of thinking changes, and we continue with human relationships based on the depth of mutual acquaintance. Let us consider Johnnys experience, who in spite of being treated badly by an older child, wants to be his friend. He finds him, listens to him, and allows the older child Survival to use him. This is an immature friendship experience. When Johnny matures, he will realize the intentions of others and will have to decide whether to continue in his role of being used or moving ahead toward a more independent role.
Self-realization
Esteem
s d e e N l a i Soc
Security s d e e N cal i g o l o Physi
Analysis
According to Maslow, we are fascinating human beings and want to meet a basic need: the need for affection and social belonging. It is an imperative need for many people, so they associate in dangerous groups as long as it fills the vacuum in their lives. The rule for having many friends is being friendly. People can become very attractive in the measure that they control themselves and make wise decisions to build up themselves. A person with little assertiveness, without the ability to work in a team, or who has the mystique of instilling fear in order to be followed is an adolescent in an adults body. Those behaviors are easy to assume; what is difficult is conciliation.
Only when you are already a young person with basic social abilities can you think about a solid, firm relationship with someone of the other sex.
Bible research
A characteristic of friendship in Proverbs 17:17. What to do to have friends in Proverbs 18:24. The greatest sacrifice a friend can make in John 15:13. The words of a friend in Proverbs 27:9.
Appeal
Dear young man, dear young woman, you must decide to become a friend by overcoming your complexes, your prejudices, and your assumptions in order to be a greater help to the one who is suffering. Why not do that so that you can also receive the comfort of people who follow the same path.
Main thought: What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet (Psalm 8:46).
Self-esteem
elf-esteem is the awareness of personal value that a person recognizes.1 Parents should have cultivated this value in childhood through the time they gave us, love expressed in different ways (gifts, quality time, healthy physical contact, words of affection, or acts of service);2 and thus, through the love they showed us to form an awareness of love for ourselves.
Summary
Todays text is found in Psalm 8:46: What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet. Self-esteem is formed from the outside to the inside, and God is the first in giving us value and from His Wordauthority. When, from the time we are young,
parents, friends, and the social environment recognize our abilities, we grow sure of them and seek to interact with healthy people who appreciate us. We are sufficiently mature to recognize our limitations that do not disqualify us but make us different and valuable for our abilities and virtues. We seek groups that like us, but beware that their liking us does not necessarily have to do with accepting us in their way, but that they appreciate us in a healthy way. There is a way to show healthy appreciation. If our peer group mistreats us verbally, the group and we ourselves will remain in the childhood phase, in the time of childhood that wants to demonstrate adultness through mistreatment. This generally takes place among men who have made verbal aggression a synonym for appreciation and acceptance. We only need to look at the nicknames our young friends have to see evidence of this. Nicknames such as dog, donkey, pug-nose, dwarf, rat, and jackal are insulting, but the boys respond to them with smiles and appreciative gestures. This does not take place among women. This verbal violence, even though accepted as the status quo, leaves its effects in the life and in the relationships of the affected individuals since, unless they decide to work on themselves and be better, this will be projected to others from that same perspective.
Analysis
Self-esteem must be nurtured by the group of people that surrounds us. I am not referring to flattery, but the
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Topics
gestures of true camaraderie and respect. Admiration and affection among friends guarantee real and powerful selfesteem. However, what happens if my parents or my social group do not positively influence my self-esteem? If that takes place, without placing guilt on anyone, I will have to decide to change my social group, perhaps not my family, because it is very difficult, but my friends and companions. I call this being an actor in my own life and not mere patients who, passive, see how everything takes place around them without having the initiative to want to change it for the better. In this respect, the church becomes a strategic ally for developing peoples self-esteem. When children and adolescents sing, lead programs, go on campouts, or exercise leadership, they go through experiences that will be difficult to have in another human framework and help them grow safely and surrounded by a group of people that (one would hope) is healthy. One part of making us become valuable human beings is to have values. (Do you notice the relationship? Valuablevalue). Values are also known as the virtues that characterize us and make us worthy of appreciation. In the modern world, values are in fashion. The whole educational environment revolves around raising men and women with values.
Bible research
Self-esteem is also formed through the wonderful presence of God in our lives. Recognizing the power and the glory of our beloved Father elevates us (Psalm 24:8). When we remember that God is for us, the safety that we feel increases to such a point that we are able to offer all our potential that is also a gift from God (Romans 8:31). Declaring peace is very important. Expressing the fact that God cares for us in audible words also develops our self-esteem (Psalm 118:6).
Appeal
It does not matter to what point those you love the most have hurt you, God is your Father and wants to offer you the royal position that belongs to you. Give your heart to God today, and He will work miracles in your mind and your life.
1 Louise-Anne Beauregard, Richard Bouffard, and Germain Duclos. Autoestima: para quererse ms y relacionarse mejor [Self-esteem: To Love Yourself More and Get Along Better] (Madrid: Narcea, 2005), p. 16). 2 Gary D. Chapman and Ross Campbell. Los 5 lenguajes del amor de los nios [The 5 Love Languages of Children] (Miami, FL: Unilit, 1998).
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HAT IS resilience? Resilience is a term taken from physics to refer to the capacity some people have of overcoming the disadvantages life presents them and recovering until they become successful people. However, this is not just a stroke of luck. All resilient people have always had a healthy adult who has been their mentor, their guide, and their model. Thus, it is not only a Christian responsibility, but human, that there be more healthy young men and women who live responsibly so that many adolescents may have examples to which to aspire.
W
Summary
Main thought: My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience. 11 Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful (James 5:10, 11).
James 5:10 and 11 say the following: My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience. Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lordthat the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.
Resilience
12
Topics
The most resilient person was the Lord Jesus Christ who had the elements to grow up safely in the midst of Nazareth in communion with His Father and through the guidance of Mary in His childhood. Presently, we can also be resilient. It has more to do with personal decisions than with a casual stroke of luck. Let us stop putting the blame on our friends, parents, God, the climate, our spouse, the pastor, the president of the country, the dogs in the neighborhood . . . Let us stop putting the blame on everyone and let us forgive the ones we should forgive. We need to be resilient. This requires that we have a good self-esteem, and that our values be firm and worthy. These three concepts (with resilience) are closely linked with one another. If one wants to have friends, one has to offer a healthy friendship in order not to harm oneself or others. The healthy friendship is based on good self-esteem, and if not, develops and transforms the means to build it. All parents want the friend, girlfriend, or boyfriend of their son or daughter to be a person with values and good habits, right? Therefore, the first thing we have to do is raise children like that and then look for people around us with those same characteristics. This is the foundation of resilience.
others whom they do not consider worthy to listen to. This type of young person leads me to think that some would have to seek help not only from their friends, but also from mental health professionals. Consulting a psychologist or a psychiatrist in order to become better does not discredit us nor is it a sinful act. People are capable of loving others in the measure in which they have learned to love themselves. Someone may say, But I already love myself! I do not doubt it. Nevertheless, my question is Do you love yourself in a healthy manner?
Bible research
On whom did Job base his courage? (Job 19:25). Overcoming is a question of attitude (Ruth 1; Esther 2:2). Love for God and for our neighbors encourages us to continue (2 Corinthians 11:2328). Being content with what we have and thinking that everything will pass is a powerful help (Philippians 4:1113).
Appeal Analysis
The reason that led us to consider these topics separately is purely pedagogical. In real life, they are presented simultaneously, and their development has to be harmonious. It is very important to have grown up in a wellestablished home. How many headaches our parents would have spared us if they had been more careful! Praise to the Lord for those who come from such homes, but if you are not one of those privileged children of responsible parents, it would be good for you to begin by forgiving them and deciding firmly to develop by yourself by seeking a social support network (friends) that value you and encourage you to become better. I sometimes find myself with very self-sufficient young men and women (which is not the same as having a high self-esteem) who are incapable of receiving advice from In order to build a valuable home that is a light in the lives of many people whom you perhaps will never meet in this life, you have to decide to discipline yourself (from your schedules to your thoughts) and accept the fact that you do not live for yourself alone; you are not an island, but you must (I repeat, you must) be better through love for yourself as well as for humanity. The one who saves a home saves a whole generation. Your decisions will have repercussions in your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren . . . You have to put the maximum effort into your self-fulfillment, in the decision to be better today compared to yesterday, because, if you do not do so, your life will lack meaning; it will be useless.
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RIENDSHIP is one of the most important treasures that one must take care of throughout ones life. Friendships are fed and preserved because they contribute to our emotional and social balance.
Main thought: A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken (Proverbs 15:13).
Summary
Let us read Proverbs 15:13: A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. One of the main efforts for being friends is remaining happy, and this happiness is based on trust in God. However, friendship requires that people develop basic qualities for it to germinate in a healthy and sustained manner.
Analysis
Friendship requires that we have a vision of equality. Therefore, inequalities in riches and power can potentially break relationships that have value in themselves.1 Friendship is the only relationship that is maintained outside of duty, usefulness, and what is official. The example is that marriage, work, and the church exist by divine decree, but friendship exists freely, and as such, is a more valuable and rarer treasure.2 However, there are realities that do not allow the proper development of friendship. Lets consider them.
Preparing to Be a Friend
The Peter Pan/Wendy syndrome
Peter Pan is a story written in 1902 by James Matthew Barrie, a Scotsman. The character lives in a world of permanent childhood, which he refuses to leave in order to assume adult roles. In the case when people refuse to grow, that is, to assume roles of a youth or an adult because of fear of suffering or because of not knowing
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Topics
how to manage frustration, they are said to be suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome in the case of men, or Wendy, if it is a woman. There are also parents who reinforce these behaviors in their children, thanking them for their behavior and boldly overprotecting them.3 The young men and women who are suffering from this syndrome are very arrogant and do not accept the fact that they have to assume responsibility for their actions, so it is difficult to maintain a healthy, appropriate relationship with them.
Bible research
1. To what is the advice of a friend compared? (Proverbs 27:9). 2. Why is important to have and to be friends? (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10). 3. Up to what point is it important to be close to friends? (Proverbs 27:10).
Appeal
May God help us to be trustworthy people. May we be like friends in times of affliction.
1 Mara Josepa Cuc Giner, La Amistad: perspectiva antropolgica [Friendship: An Anthropological Perspective] (Barcelona: Icaria, 1999), p. 28. 2 Sallie McFague, Modelos de Dios: teologa para una era ecolgica y nuclear [Models of God: Theology for an Ecological and Nuclear Age] (Santander: Sal Terrae, 1994), pp. 261-263. 3 Paulino Castells, Psicologa de la familia: conocemos ms para convivir major [Psychology of the Family: Let Us Know More to Live Better] (Barcelona: Ediciones CEAC, 2008), pp. 194, 195. 4 Jean Shinoda Bolen, Las diosas de cada mujer: una nueva psicologa femenina [Each Womans Gods: A New Feminine Psychology] (Barcelona: Kairs, 1993), p. 217. 5 Warren Bennis, Conducir gente es tan dicil como arrear gatos: Los lideres se pueden hacer? [Guiding People is as Difcult as Herding Cats] (Barcelona: Granica, 2000), p. 125.
The Medea syndrome

In Greek mythology, Medea was a priestess and daughter of the King of Colchis. Medea helped Jason to steal the Golden Fleece and in exchange, he promised to marry her. Thus, she left everything for him, betrayed her father and her country, as well as causing the death of her brother. However, Jason abandoned her and Medea, overcome with anger, tried to take revenge on him. This comparison uncovers an interesting picturethat of the woman, enraged by rejection, who wants to cause harm to the person who showed that he did not value her friendship.4 This can become an obsession, so it is necessary to seek professional help. People who are immature generally need to learn how to manage their frustrations. That is urgent in human relations, because people usually generate frictions in their daily lives. A person can transform failure into success. Successful people perceive and manage failure in different ways. The word failure denotes something that is final and inert for most people. However, healthy people take advantage of the mistake. They do not see failure as a mistake, an imperfection, an inconvenience, a fault, an unsuccessful attempt, or an error. They think that those who have not made any mistakes have not tried hard enough.5 In a culture like ours that places great value on achievements and success, failure is seen as something very difficult to digest. Failures frequently end up becoming blows that can leave us out of commission. It is very costly emotionally because it produces feelings of guilt, self-pity, doubt, and self-condemnation. The topic of failure can produce a great deal of fear.
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T IS important for us to be people who experience love in a real way and not only in words. God is love in a pure and supreme way. Let us think about God, who is love, not a solitary being but One who, because of His love, lives in community (the Trinity) and is pleased to have a family, which proclaims to the universe that He is love.
Summary
We read in 1 Corinthians 13:47, Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love, in summary, revolves around giving everything (life, money, time, gifts, acts of service, patience, and effort, among others) in order to benefit the one who is the object of the love. However, if those who love are the only ones who give and find themselves with those who do not know how to give but only to receive, the former are being used, and should not give in to a tank type of relationship, since, one day, the contents of that source will come to an end.
Main thought: Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:47).
Love
People who truly love do not give to receive, and nevertheless, receive because they love the other person who also wants to give. This is the equation of true lovetwo people who want to give to each other and therefore, both receive. This is the type of love that makes two people with different pasts and homes unite and decide to get old together in marriage. Thus, becoming one flesh does not only refer to sex, but also to agreeing in tastes, dreams, interests, actions, habits, desires . . . or communicating without words by using the intimate language of gestures and making faces. This experience does not always have a reason for being gratifying, but is built on much patience, respect, suffering at times, dedication, and effort. That is love, an equation whose result is equality in unity.
Analysis
There are many words in Greek that are translated as love, but it is approached from different aspects: Agp: This is the love of surrender and of sacrifice, and its greatest example is Jesus Christ. He gave Himself for us. His whole life was a life of service and self-renunciation. Not only did He give of Himself for three and a half years, but also surrendered His life in sacrifice on the cross. His whole life was marked by generosity.
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Topics
This love is manifested when people decide to sacrifice hours of sleep to help their friends, their loved ones, or their spouses. In the first and second cases, it can be summed up as help with an academic assignment, looking for data, or downloading educational material from the Internet in order to go to the loved ones home with the material obtained. In the third case, a good example is help in getting the children back to sleep if they wake up at night. That is agape love exemplified. rs: This word is not found in the Bible and also designates love, but it is in contradiction to the Scriptures. This is the love that abounds in the world and that controls thousands. It designates the most crude and carnal passion. Eros is the love of desire or possessive love. Eros is egocentric love. This is obviously different from Gods love. Therefore, it is not surprising that this word does not appear in the Bible to designate true divine love. Philia: A lot of material can be found about this type of love that to more than one has become clinging. This is the love between parents and children. It can also take place between equals such as between siblings or friends.
Bible research
Does love have to reflect something? (1 Corinthians 13:13) Are daily fights positive for love? (Proverbs 15:17) Up to what point is love strong? (Song of Solomon 8:7)
Appeal
Love is something that is learned, and we must develop proficiencies that qualify us to feel it in a healthy way as much for our neighbor as for our boyfriend or girlfriend. Do you want God to prepare you to love, not only for this earth, but also for eternity?
1 Luis Gabriel Csar, Liderazgo peligroso [Dangerous Leadership] (El Paso TX: Editorial Mundo Hispano, 2006), p. 27. 2 Scott Hahn, Lo primero es el amor: descubre tu familia in la Iglesia y en la Trinidad [The First is Love: Discover Your Family in the Church and in the Trinity] (Madrid: Rialp, 2006), p. 11. 3 Pedro A. Larson, Principios de liderazgo spiritual [Principles of Spiritual Leadership] (Terrassa, Spain: Cle, 1998), pp. 108, 109. 4 Lewis A. Drummond, Amor [Love] (Grand Rapids, MI: Portavoz, 2004), pp. 49, 50. 5 Javier Sdaba, El amor y sus formas [Love and Its Forms] (Barcelona: Pennsula, 2010), p. 111.
17
F COURSE it is possible to think that an adolescent may date, but not get married. However, dating in adolescence without adequate guidance as is generally the case, tends to raise the risks of the premature start of sexual activity, an unwanted pregnancy, and abortion, or contracting some STD (sexually transmitted disease).
O
Summary
Main thought: I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases (Song of Solomon 2:7).
I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases (Song of Solomon 2:7). A youth not out of his teens is a poor judge of the fitness of a person as young as himself to be his companion for life. After their judgment has become more matured, they view themselves bound for life to each other, and perhaps not at all calculated to make each other happy. Then, instead of making the best of their lot, recriminations take place, the breach widens, until there is settled indifference and neglect of each other. To them there is nothing sacred in the word home. The very atmosphere is poisoned by unloving words and bitter reproaches.1 Another question is: Is courtship necessary to know someone? What became of the greatness of friendship? Where is the problem?
Considerations
Courtship
Adolescents, with their immature and possessive role models, think that unlike those who want to be together all day, thus confusing true love with possessive and immature adolescent love, adults do not love each other because they do not want to be together all the time. The adolescent couple does not want to do the same thing, they do not agree on everything, and they argue. Adolescents think, If you love me, you will not talk to anyone else, just me. You will not do anything with anyone else, not even your parents, so you can spend time with me. This is social immaturity.3 In addition, they can mimic ways of loving, not what is best, but based on their previous experiences, which are not necessarily appropriate and healthy. They get it from their parents or guardians, and until they reach maturity, can develop ideas such as: Women do not really love (because my mother did not love me) or Men are dangerous (because my father was).
about
Analysis
Adolescence is a state and a process of growth; it is the stage of human development that marks the end of childhood and establishes the foundations of the adult stage. The biological, psychological, and social changes that occur are all interrelated. It begins approximately between the ages of nine and thirteen years and ends when individuals reach emotional and social maturity in order to assume an adult role according to what is defined in the culture in which they live. It is a stage of full intellectual and cognitive expansion, assimilation of positive experiences, as well as the evaluation of values and ideals.2 It is a moment of great changes at all levels in the human being, and even though some suggest that it is normal for adolescents to explore the topic of love, it is not the best thing, since the process through which maturity is reached begins at this stage at the same time that they learn to be friends with different young people.
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Topics
They must reach a state of mental maturity in order to be able to break the circle that can confuse them.4 to love without shadows from the past or fear of the future. Do you want to learn to love?
1 Ellen G. White, Messages to Young People (Nashville, TN: Southern, 1930), chap. 152, p. 452. 2 Anameli Monroy, Salud y sexualidad en la adolescencia y juventud: gua prctica para padres y educadores [Health and Sexuality in Adolescence and Youth: A Practical Guide for Parents and Educators] (Mexico, DF: Pax Mxico, 2002), pp. 11, 12. 3 Maite Vallet, Cmo educar a nuestros adolescentes: un esfuerzo que merece la pena [How to Educate Our Adolescents: An Effort That Is Worth the Trouble] (Barcelona: Praxis, 2006), p. 170. 4 Marie Lise Labont, Hacia el amor verdadero [Toward True Love] (Barcelona: Ediciones Lucirnaga, 2010), p. 61.
Bible research
Carefully read the text in Song of Solomon 2:7, and talk about the roles of adolescents in love. When is an adolescent ready to love safely?
Appeal
Being able to enjoy adolescence in a healthy and correct manner is indispensable for reaching the ability
19
henethylamine (PEA) is an endogenous neuroamine capable of strengthening the mood and sensation of energy, which creates a sensation of euphoria and alertness.1 This brain neurotransmitter is produced in the hypothalamus and is the neurochemical responsible for the feelings of jubilation, elation, happiness, and pleasure that we feel when we are in love2 and, specifically, when we are near the person who attracts our attention. This is physiological love. Let us delve into this a little more.
Main thought: "Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame (Song of Solomon 8:6).
Summary
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame (Song of Solomon 8:6). The book Song of Solomon in the Bible is a poem about intimate marriage attraction. This is based on natural chemical substances that must be controlled.
The Physiology of Love
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Topics
In the presence of dopamine, phenethylamine divides into noradrenaline and mescaline, producing an altered state called falling in love. This is what adolescents usually confuse with love. The step from passion to deep attraction is because of the presence of endorphins. Other chemical components that make us feel the euphoria of love are dopamine and norepinephrine that, together with phenethylamine (PEA), create an explosive cocktail of natural amphetamines.3 This makes the one who goes through this experience better tolerate cold, hunger, and sleepiness next to the person who captures his or her attention. However, when love is broken and one of the two continues to be in love, it can cause amphetamine withdrawal symptoms.4 probable that by dilating the 1000 capillaries that are found in the area, the cheeks get red. The facial muscles change to express happiness. In addition, changes occur at the musculoskeletal and endocrine glandular levels. The autonomous nervous system is activated in answer to the sexual stimulus. It transmits signals to the capillary vessels, preparing them to receive a greater flow of blood, activates the sudoriferous glands, and increases the sebaceous secretion in the hair follicles. This produces a parasympathetic awakening, the physiological opposite of the attack/flight sensation that fear and anger share. The parasympathetic answer is known as the relaxation response. This answer generates calm and satisfaction.
Analysis
Even though this group of feelings is what biologically makes us feel in love, in practice, it may not be the only guide to begin a love relationship. If we only get carried away by feelings, we would not be reasonable. Therefore, a balance should exist between the rational and the emotional. When young people think about the one they love, the network of the prefrontal cortex responds automatically and involuntarily to signals derived from the process of the previously-mentioned images. A cascade of chemical reactions is unleashed. The brain releases neurotransmitters in specific areas. Thus, the propagation of different substances such as endorphins and serotonin occur, which, in turn, produce in the people in love an emotional, psychological, and organic state of mind. The catecholamines produce an increase of motor activity, while phenethylamine raises the level of physical energy and clarity. In addition, the endorphins act as natural sedatives to produce a sensation of tranquility. It is because of these cerebral substances that a couple who is in love can spend hours and hours chatting on the phone or seated somewhere even though it is cold. They do not feel hunger, do not get tired, and do not feel the cold. They are in love. However, the hormones that act most in the process of attraction are the pheromones. This receptor organ is found on both sides of the nasal bridge. Once young people have received the stimulus, they feel their hearts accelerate and increase the blood volume that is pumped to the whole body. It is also
Bible research
Read the story of Tamar, and evaluate to what point it is dangerous to be carried away by hormones.
Appeal
If decisions are made for life in the midst of this revolution of cerebral substances, one runs the risk of waking up one day and saying, What did I do? In time, when love becomes deeper and more rational, it allows it to segregate the substances that produce euphoria and progressively increase the production of endorphins. These substances are natural sedatives or painkillers that give those who love each other the sensation of security, peace, happiness, and tranquility. I invite you to assume a leading role in the development of affection in your life. Be the master of your emotions, and submit them to the advice of the Lord and of the church members who care for you.
1 Alan F. Schatzberg and Charles S. Nemeroff, Tratado de psicofarmacologa [Treatise on Psychofarmacology] (Barcelona, Spain: Elsevier, 2006), p. 735. 2 Manuel Almagro, Juan Isern Batil, Marcos Jimnez de la Espada, and Francisco de Paula Martinez Sez. El gran viaje [The Great Voyage] (Quito: Abya-Yala, 1998), p. 106. See also Robert Crooks, Nuestro sexualidad [Our Sexuality] ([S. I.]: Cengage Learning Latin America, 2000), p. 207. 3 Rosemary Sullivan, Laberinto del deseo: las mujeres, la pasin, y la obsesin romntica [Labyrinth of Desire: Women, Passion, and Romantic Obsession] (Bogota: Norma, S. A., 2002), p. 53. 4 Eduardo Dallal, De la edad adulta a la vejez [From Adulthood to Old Age] (Mexico, UACJ: P y V), p. 74.
21
HEN I was fourteen years old, I liked a school friend very much. She was great. She had a pleasant character and was very pretty. I wanted her to be my girlfriend so I consulted my mother: Mom, I think that now is the time. I want to have a girlfriend. What she answered impacted me for years. I confess that I was not an attractive boy, nor the life of the party. I was, rather, the studious, timid type. Thus, her words, as well as my predisposition to think about things well, resulted in: Yvn, you are only fourteen years old. It was enough. I did not have a girlfriend until I was twenty. Then, during my first year in university, I went to see a professor who was good and kind to the young people. I asked him, Pastor, at what age would it be good to begin a romance? He answered, Yvn, when you are in your third year of college, that is, at the age of twenty.
Main thought: Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away (1 Corinthians 13:48).
Summary
In 1 Corinthians 13:48, we read, Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity,
Principles for Finding the Right Spouse

(Part I)
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Topics
but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. In order to feel this type of love, it is necessary to have gotten past adolescence, not only physically, but emotionally, as well. What does being past the age of twenty have to do with being realistic? Simply, it is expected that one will have left behind the vanity of adolescence and purpose to live according to a youthappropriate life plan. Being realistic about the expectations in a courtship is very important. It is necessary to put aside the rosecolored glasses that this life stage generally has and open ones eyes wide. I am not saying that there must not be any romance, but that calmness and objectivity should take precedence. In order to be objective and realistic, one must ask for advice from people who have a cool head. That is, people who see the future relationship from outside, from afar, with all the objectivity of the case. Those people would most likely be parents, those who know us and have lived longer; therefore, they have more experience. Look at how he or she treats his or her mother or father since that is how he or she will treat you in the majority of cases. This can change if the young man or woman is educated and decides to break from the family circle. This can become quite difficult, but love can achieve changes. However, the changes must happen before getting married and for an appropriate time (one year or more). Look at how he or she treats his or her older or younger siblings. Observe if there is always a relative visiting in his or her home or if he or she lives with grandparents. Perhaps you will have to live with his or her parents when they are old and alone. Visiting the girlfriend or boyfriends family is a good learning process.
Bible research
Why is it good to think about marriage in a mature manner? (Ecclesiastes 4:912) Who sows in the heart the need to build a stable and happy home? (Genesis 2:2124).
Appeal
A good courtship will lead to a good marriage. I invite you to decide to prepare yourself to establish a good marriage with a person who shares and practices your faith.
Analysis
One detail to keep in mind is that ones boyfriend or girlfriend is not an angel. He or she has defects that are essential to know in order to evaluate them and know if they can be tolerated or if they will be unbearable. In addition, we must know the others strengths and virtues and assess them also to know if they have our approval and preferences. This is very important. Talking with our parents about the person we love will resolve many unknowns. What will my girlfriend be like in a few years? Look at her mother. (No, dont hate me, friend; it is true in the majority of cases unless you make changes in your lifestyle). How will my boyfriend treat me after we are married? Well, look at how he treats his father and his mother. Look at the family dynamics of the person you love. Those are the dynamics from which he or she will take experiences to project them into living together with you in the future.
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O SHOPPING with your significant other. Show what you are really like. I recognize that I make an effort as a shopping companion, but generally, I am not very suitable. I get bored right away, even though I do not quit because of that reason. I am there, trying not to spoil the shopping outing. Show what you are like playing sports. Do you have a good character when you play? Go visit places that one of the two of you like and observe the behavior and reactions of the other. See what your significant other is like in stressful situations, and be happy in moments of healthy camaraderie. Participate in church activities, and evaluate the level of commitment of the person you love
Main thought: Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).
Principles for Finding the Right Spouse (Part II)
28
Topics
concerning holy things. Observe what the other is like when you eat together, whether he or she finishes quickly and wants to leave right away or if he or she takes longer than your father and you want to leave and you hurry them up. Observe how your significant other behaves at the beach. You may have some surprises. Finally, this is so that you can get to know each other and can decide if you can overcome and tolerate the differences or not.
Analysis
Remember: Birds of a feather flock together. This is very important. Make a list of the activities you both like to do such as going to a museum, going to the beach, playing sports, studying, doing a hobby such as carpentry, origami, baking, and so on. Every point of similarity is an advantage for a future marriage. See if both of you like to go for a walk, on a trip, to visit someone, to the park, if you like to read, watch a constructive movie, go shopping, go see exhibits, and so on. Every point you have in common is an advantage. Remember this. A relationship is built on the basis of similarities. Of course, a couple who are very different can attain marital happiness, but it will cost them a little more than a couple who enjoys spending time together doing things they both like to do. One of the details that must be observed is whether your boyfriend or girlfriend likes children because if he or she finds children to be a nuisance, it will probably become a point of stress in the marriage relationship. When one sees ones baby, life and the way of seeing and dealing with it changes completely. Both must prepare to care for the children as a team. (A piece of advice: Have them close together.)
Summary
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2). Enjoying good physical, mental, spiritual, and social health is essential to developing a suitable courtship. Exercise. In general, human beings dream about a good-looking partner with a nice body, so offer what they want. Go out to exercise, go to the gymnasium, and be healthy. Sleep sufficiently, eat a healthy diet, drink water, and keep yourself occupied mentally. Health depends on what enters through our senses and especially, what is ingested. Take care of yourself. Take a bath every day to clean your body, and leave the harmful lifestyle behind. Acquire the habit of having a yearly medical check-up. Also, try to maintain a healthy mind. Cultivate the art of thinking positively and expecting the best from situations and from people. That will help you to be in a good mood. Get together with sociable and mentally healthy people, people who are respectful and happy, who listen to you and are interested in you. If you want friends, show yourself to be friendly. Cultivate moral values that allow you to project yourself to your girlfriend or boyfriend with respect and admiration. Do not be afraid of taking on responsibilities. Do not avoid your responsibilities. Assume them with commitment, and prepare to live happily and energetically. Leave your comfort zone, the place from which you do not want to move, and dare to make some changes to improve your health. Look for what your boyfriend or girlfriend does, or invite him or her to be a part of the change with you.
Bible research
To what point is it important not to be carried away only by appearance? (Judges 14:14). What should you be careful about when you seek a boyfriend or girlfriend? (Proverbs 4:23). If I make a mistake, is there hope? (Proverbs 16:9).
Appeal
The greater number of points of similarity we have, the greater will be our blessing. I invite you to decide to have a careful courtship that is based on Christian advice.
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RIEND, do not avoid your responsibilities. Your boyfriend or girlfriend needs a partner, not a child to care for or a parent, but someone who sees lifes details and assumes them with energy and courage. Many people whose parents have not raised them well find it difficult to behave in that way, but they will have to assume their responsibilities. If there is a meeting at school, you should attend. If you have homework, you should do it quickly. First duty, then pleasurethis is what it means to be a young person and not an adolescent. In order to start courting, you will incur expenses. I ask myself where the money comes from. Who finances the romantic affairs of the son or daughter? More often than not, it is the mother or father. Well, enough is enough. Go and earn money by working, and see if you will decide to use that money to
Main thought: But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another (Galatians 6:4).
Principles for Finding the Right Spouse (Part II)

go to an expensive place or a more modest place since it was difficult for you to earn it. Decide to be a young person. Change the way you dress; stop being an adolescent and be and look like a young person, not someone who is a misfit. Assume your responsibilities. Young people of both sexes, behave like who you are. Be a model of good manners and control. By doing this, not only will you benefit yourselves, but also the morals of the whole nation because the nation is as moral as its citizensmen and womenare. Perhaps this sounds antiquated, but it would be a good thing to dedicate some time to thinking about this.
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Topics
Summary
Lets see what Galatians 6:4 says: But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. Let us be very organized in our economics and in our time management. Learn to use an appointment book, and consult it every day. It is not enough to write everything in it. That is the first step. Next, you have to read it every day after you read your Bible. Establishing order and priorities in the use of your time will help you organize your thoughts and emotions. As children, we should have learned how to use our time. If not, we should learn to do so as young people. Get an appointment book, preferably paper and not electronic. Learn to use it in paper and then, when you have adapted to using and managing your time, you can move to an electronic appointment book. An iPod Touch is a useful and versatile device. Then, learn to discipline your thoughts. Control them, and do not get carried away by suppositions. I have this weakness. But my strength in that aspect is my beloved Victoria (that is my wifes name). She helps me to see things realistically and not how I imagine them (that is sometimes monstrous). She is just the right helper for me. Do not get carried away by what you are told; control your negative emotions, and be careful with the positive. Be happy and dynamic. Control your anger and your frustrations. When something does not turn out well, do not feel sorry for yourself; look at the positive side of the failure. Do not look at it as it is, but as a learning experience. Although it is sometimes costly, in the end, it is still a learning experience. If you discover that your boyfriend or girlfriend is simply obstinate without reason, you have one of two options: you tolerate him or her and do not feel sorry for yourself or you take measures in that respect to the point of, if necessary, ending the relationship. Perhaps, you will soon discover that you are the stubborn one of the two and that you should learn to better explain your arguments.
Bible research
What should our communication be like? (Proverbs 25:11). To what point is it important that we be careful in dealing with an argument? (Proverbs 15:18). With what does God compare those who are organized and active? (Proverbs 6:6).
Appeal
These were only some ideas to improve a courtship. Would you like to put them into practice in order to be a better boyfriend or girlfriend when the time comes?
Analysis
Sometimes, what was said before causes arguments if the couple is not in agreement. This is inevitable in courtship. However, I am also concerned when a couple does not argue. Is it because they are too similar or because they have not had sufficient previous experiences that cause tension? Giving free rein to an argument, an interchange of ideas, and healthy dissension is necessary, but with respect and a predisposition to giving in, not because of the other persons stubbornness, but because of the conviction of his or her arguments.
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OW does one bear the pain of breaking up? When couples break up for different reasons, whether justified or not, an emotional vacuum is generated in their lives. What should we do? How do we face that situation?
H
Summary
Main thought: "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33).
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33). Many times, sadness is inevitable. Therefore, we must be brave in the moments of great pain. When a relationship ends, the pain is intense, but we must not despair.
of Breaking Up
The Pain
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Topics
Analysis
What happens is that the presence of the person we loved made our brain generate phenethylamines, catecholamines, endorphins, and epinephrines that made us feel very good. When the person leaves, those chemical substances disappear with the person since they are no longer secreted, and we experience what we could call a type of withdrawal. We need that person. We send him or her text messages, we use e-mail, the telephone . . . We try to communicate in some way with the loved one in order to be able to diminish our pain. However, this is not the best thing we can do. When a relationship ends, it is as if the person we loved has died. But we do not communicate with the dead. The relationship ended and one would have to be sufficiently mature to be able to go through the stages of grieving after having ended a relationship since the first is weeping and denial. It is right for us to get sad because there is pain. Questions such as the following arise: Why me? What did I do wrong? There are also statements such as It cant be. Later comes the anger. At this point, we run the risk of speaking badly about the person we once loved and still continue to love. The third stage is the negotiation stage. The people who are hurting repent of all the bad things they said in the anger stage and partially accept their situation and the reality. They try to understand what happened. The fourth stage is that of acceptance, accompanied by a pain that is generated by accepting the absence of the person one loves. A stage of silence and probable apathy begins. The fifth stage is healing acceptance; emotional balance and peace begin to be found. Little by little, everything returns to calmness and normalcy. The experts say that in order to have total recovery from the pain produced from having ended a dating relationship it is advisable to go six months without any type of communication with the loved one. After that time, it would be possible to begin a friendship with the person with whom the dating relationship was ended. At the end of six months, you would be able to consider yourselves as friends once again. It is necessary to assume the responsibility of facing the process of ending a relationship. Many bad habits enter that stage. Some break the courtship and continue to be friends so they do not manage to harbor the grief that they would have. Others end it and continue to kiss each other, impeding the affected person from going through the necessary process of pain to end the relationship. There are others who, after having ended the relationship, cannot bear the pain of separation and begin the relationship again, over and over, entering into a vicious circle. All this could have been avoided if, in the process of friendship, some questions had been resolved, if the couple had resolved concerns in the dialogue of friendship. Ending a relationship is a difficult matter, but sometimes, if the circumstances require it, we must do so.
Bible research
Where is comfort found? (Psalm 119:49, 50). What do we have to do with negative emotions? (Ephesians 4:31, 32). To whom should we turn in the day of anguish? (Psalm 86:7).
Appeal
When sadness knocks at the door, we must run to the Lord Jesus Christ to have peace. Would you like to make a decision to make Jesus your Confidant and your Best Friend?
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HEN I see children and imagine what could happen to them, I am terrified. Then I think about my beloved Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and find courage to continue participating confidently in childrens development. However, it is not enough to be concerned about the future. We must also intervene and teach our adolescents that there are limits, even in a courtship.
W
Summary
Main thought: Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).
Exodus 20:14 says, You shall not commit adultery. Everything begins as a game. From the time Dad and Mom say, No, Johnny, dont touch. If you do, I will punish you. In that way, when we touch what was prohibited and they do not do anything to us, we learned that there were rules that we could break with impunity. Later, when we bring home the eraser we forgot to return to a classmate or the football that mysteriously came to me over a wall and, without much thought, we leave in a hurry with the ball in our hands so as not to give an explanation to anyone, we only say to parental questioning, I found it.
Limits
Everything begins with permission. When we did not only ask for a toy, but demanded it from our parents until they bought it, we learned that we deserved everything. Later, in school, at the beginning, we found it difficult to cheat on an exam because we had not studied. We felt very bad, but then the grade was very good. Little by little, we learned that we could achieve good results without putting out much effort and by resorting to cheating.
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Topics
time, and seeking His guidance. What really matters is wanting to please the Lord and following His example completely. Christs life offers us the necessary guidance to live our lives according to His will. What really matters is wanting to allow ourselves to be guided by His holy will, falling passionately in love with Jesus Christ. Then everything else lacks meaning. If many problems begin with permission, it is no less certain that many end with limits. However, do not see them as barriers, walls, barbed wire fences, or prohibitions. First, limits help you to define yourself. If someone touches you without your consent, he or she has trespassed your limits. If people take liberties with regards to you without the slightest respect, they have trespassed your limits. Limits define you. Second, limits protect you; that is, they avoid unnecessary wounds for you. They move you away from harmful people and keep you in a safe environment.
Bible research
Laws were designed to be easy to fulfill (Matthew 11:29, 30). The law of the Lord produces freedom in Christ (James 1:25). The law helps us to walk far from the paths of evil (Galatians 5:1921).
Appeal
In the midst of all these self-permissions came the age of love, the age in which wet dreams and erotic fantasies appeared, in which pornographic magazines or pornographic videos appeared in the backpacks of adolescents and as throughout our lives, we gave ourselves permission to look. Many live by permission, cheating in life. That results in pain, feelings of guilt, and illness. Limits protect your love and your ability to trust in others; your emotions and the ability to be free from the emotional control of other people; your values, by making sure your life reflects what is most important for you; your behavior, as your ability to take control of your actions; your attitudes, as your position and your opinions with regards to your partner. Limits give you responsibility since you and only you will answer for what is within your limits. Would you like to accept the limits in courtship?
1 Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey, and Rafael Cruz, La batalla de cada hombre joven: estratgias para la Victoria en el mundo real de la tentacin sexual [The Battle of Every Young Man: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation] (Miami, FL: Unilit, 2003). 2 Joshua Harris, El y ella: dile s al cortejo [He and She: Say Yes to Courtship] (Miami, FL: Unilit, 2002).
Analysis
I have just presented an in-depth analysis of what happens to many young people concerning the topic of courtship. However, what is it that really matters? Dear friend, what really matters is written in 1 Corinthians 10:31. What really matters is loving God with all our strength, loving Christ and His Word, seeking Him all the
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OURTSHIP is the time when the foundation of marital happiness must be established. A healthy and appropriate courtship will eliminate the largest number of risks to those that can be exposed in a marriage.
C
Summary
Main thought: See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is (Ephesians 5:15-17).
I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases (Song of Solomon 2:7). In this text, the wise Solomon made it clear that courtship would have to begin when love is ready. The questions are the following: When are we ready to love? What is to love? True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse, and which suddenly dies when severely tested. It is not an emotion. It is not that a young lady feels attracted by a polite, good-looking young man; that is mere attraction. True love, as a principle, is generated from the knowledge of the person who captivated the attention. As the dialogue moves forward, defects and virtues arise that, after being assessed, are tolerated, accepted, or rejected.
A Successful
Courtship
courting that honors them and honors God. They are the following: Good time management Good management of emotions Good money management Good social-environment management
Analysis
Through this process, we need the presence of healthy reasoning and the guidance of older people who fear God. We can see that innumerable difficulties meet us at every step. The iniquity that is cherished by young as well as old; the unwise, unsanctified courtship and marriages cannot fail to result in bickering, in strife, in alienations, in indulgence of unbridled passions, in unfaithfulness of husbands and wives, unwillingness to restrain the self-willed, inordinate desires, and in indifference to the things of eternal interest. The young man and the young woman who seek the advice of consecrated people and who prefer to be friends before beginning a courtship without any other motive other than getting to know each other while valuing and honoring God distance themselves from a superficial, carnal, and passionate courtship. There are four areas that the couple must watch out for that I consider should be made known so that the young man and the young woman begin a relationship of
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Topics
Good time management
Time management is basic for progressive development and human maturation. Time management should be learned in childhood when parents establish schedules for children to do their chores. If that does not happen, young people will have to teach themselves. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is (Ephesians 5:1517). These are some of the simple strategies we can use in order to begin managing our time well: Using an appointment book. Using an alarm or alarm clock. Using a personal daily schedule of activities to mark what is being accomplished. Using a wristwatch. First duty, then pleasure. The skill of time management prepares young people for the second step. Ellen G. White wrote, Diligence in business, abstinence from pleasure, even privation, so long as health is not endangered, should be cheerfully maintained that the charities of others would not be your dependence. From adolescence, young men and women should have cultivated habits of saving, economy, and foresight. It is necessary not to waste money on lifes unnecessary daily offerings, but to practice austerity without falling into the lack of good taste. An excellent and blessed money-earning learning opportunity is canvassing. In it, the customer (because of receiving the messages of hope contained in the publications) as well as the young colporteur (because of learning lasting and meaningful life lessons) will benefit.
Good social-environment management

In order for young people not to allow themselves to be influenced by the social environment, it is an indispensable requirement for them to have gone past adolescence, the stage in which they seek an identity, collecting models that they admire (that are not necessarily the best). Once young people have gone past this stage, which in theory is considered to have ended between the ages of eighteen and twenty, they have the biological basis for developing their own ideas. Then they leave behind their dependence on bad influences, and they are ready in youth to choose healthy friends with whom to relate and to know how to build meaningful, Christian social support networks.
Good management of emotions

Emotions are the result of the thoughts. For their part, thoughts will be better subdued and managed when the mind is used to managing time well. Unless a determined effort is made to keep the thoughts centered on Christ, grace cannot reveal itself in the life. The mind must engage in the spiritual warfare. Every thought must be brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. In order to manage the emotions, we must have a disciplined mind. It is hoped that at the age of eighteen, young people have already learned not to be carried away by their passions and feelings, but to make decisions based on their reason and their sense of duty. We must keep the emotions subdued while our thoughts are subject to Christ. In this way, through the integrity of the will, they will be subject to all that is honest, pure, and virtuous.
Appeal
True love is an adult. We can call it what we want before that, but it is not true love. The social environment will be dealt with better when the young person has the appropriate age to make decisions. Relationships with parents, relatives, friends, and others will be healthier after adolescence.
1 Ellen G. White, Mind, Character, and Personality (Nashville, TN: Southern, 1977), vol. 1, chap. 8, p. 69. 2 ______, Selected Messages (Washington, DC: Review and Herald, 1958), vol. 2, chap. 36, p. 330. 3 Ellen G. White, Messages to Young People (Nashville, TN: Southern, 1930), chap. 152, p. 452.
Good money management

In order that love be in condition to flower, the young man and the young woman must have developed good monetary discernment skills.
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Visin joven/julio-septiembre 2013
Program
Pathfinder Day Program
Let's Celebrate Grace

When grace is a misfortune Sermon for Pathfinder Day 2013
BENJAMN CARBALLO YOUTH MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT INTER-AMERICAN DIVISION
DIRECTOR
Introduction
CHAPTER 15 of the Gospel of Luke has always given me hope. Jesus used many parables to explain how the kingdom and grace of God work. However, I have not found any like the following three stories that describe the grace that saves, restores, heals, and restores hope. I love seeing myself as a coin that, thanks to the inscription engraved on it and the value that is granted it at the time it was minted, is not devalued even though it fell into the dust. I love seeing myself as a sheep that, although it is vulnerable in certain circumstances, it has a Good Shepherd who does not get tired until He finds it, carries it, treats it, and takes it back home. I love seeing myself as the prodigal son who can walk back home practicing speeches, dressed in rags and smelling of pig brand lotion with essence of husks because he knows that the Father who loves him will do something for him. How good it makes us feel to remember these three stories. However, even though there is joy and celebration in the first two stories for the found coin or the found sheep, in the last story, in addition to the joy and celebration of the father and his guests for the son who came back home, there is an older brother who does not understand the ministry of grace, who is bothered by his Fathers gifts of grace for a brother who, according to him, is not worthy of a party or gifts.
Unfortunately, there are always older brothers at home, in the neighborhood, or in the church, people who constantly remind you more of your origin than your destiny, older brothers who are ready to spoil the party of forgiveness and grace. It seems incredible to me that even when there is a lot of evidence of the blessings of youth ministries, there are still those who think that dedicating time and money allocated to the activities of our clubs is a waste. Some months ago, someone asked me, Why does the church spend so much money on the Inter-American Division Pathfinder Camporee? They brought together more than 20,000 children and young people, but most of them only came for the outing. I answered that the church invests because there are parents who invest in their children. They send them to the clubs and see the blessings of God in them. The church invests because it sees leaders committed to the young people. They sacrifice a lot for them. Our children and young people are a priority for this church because they are a priority in Jesus heart. Even so, from time to time, an older brother appears who does not agree with the party, the happiness, and the joy of the children and young people who are transformed by the gospel of grace. It seems that he would say, Pretty robe, you better be careful not to stain it. A single spot and Dad will send you to the laundry, or Pretty ring, you better take care of it because if you lose it one day, you will also be lost. Whats more, it does not go on that finger; Dad likes it on the thumb, or Pretty shoes, you better tie your laces tight. If not, Dad will take away those expensive sandals. When people say something like this, the youths perspective of the Father changes as well as the perspective of themselves. They do not know if they meet His expectations. Children and young people will always be affected for good or for evil by what adults say.
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As a result, when young people go to the Father, they are fearful. They do not know if they meet the expectations of being good children and honoring Him. Sometimes, because of this, young people prefer not to meet Him in the prayer room. They prefer sleeping without entering into the presence of God. They prefer not going to church because they feel unworthy. Some prefer not going to Pathfinder club meetings. There are too many tasks: keeping their robes spotless, keeping the ring in its place, and their sandals presentable. Who could fulfill these requirements? Maintaining the gifts begins to become a burdensome and irritating task for the young person. Then they opt to avoid the Father, thinking that they cannot please Him. Some strip themselves of their clothes, thinking that they are not worthy of them. They stop wearing them because they believe that they will not wear them correctly. Some think, No one pestered or pressured me in the pigsty. There is nothing sadder for those who work with young people than knowing that some of them hung up their uniforms because someone blocked the channels of grace for them, because someone said they were not up to par. Instead of helping them, someone attacked them and threw them out of the house, even when the Heavenly Father wanted them in His service. However, the good news always comes to us through the Word. We read in Galatians 1:6, 7 and 2:16: I marvel that you are turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ, to a different gospel, which is not another; but there are some who trouble you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ. Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. For some reason, we sometimes think that we have blocked the channels of grace so that we believe that although God grants us entrance to Heaven, we have to earn a place at the table. Now let us see what Ephesians 2:46 says: But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in
trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.
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Program
Grace that restores
That makes me think of Mephibosheth. His life was drastically restored. He was ruined, crippled, and chased from his childhood palace. He dragged not only his feet, but he also dragged himself through life. Lo Debar was his home, and he did not aspire to anything more. Lo Debar means without grass. It was an arid and dangerous place. That reminds me of names of places near my town such as Salsipuedes (get out if you can) or Cantarranas (singing frogs). I never wanted to go there. The name alone made me discouraged. However, grace reached Mephibosheth, the blessed grace that also reaches us. One day, the kings carriage arrived at the home of Machir the son of Ammiel where Mephibosheth lived since he did not even have his own home. The driver got out of the carriage and asked for him. When Mephibosheth saw that it was the kings carriage, he thought it was over. He thought his time had come. That is what a king of a new lineage does to assure his throne. He kills even the last descendant of the previous royal family. The surprise came when the king called him into his presence so he could know his grace. He had gifts of grace for him: Do not fear, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your father's sake, and will restore to you all the land of Saul your grandfather; and you shall eat bread at my table continually (2 Samuel 9:7). Let us consider the sequence: 1. Do not be afraid. 2. I am going to treat you very well. 3. I will have all your lands returned to you. 4. You will eat at my table. The king surprised him with a message of grace. He told him that his days at Lo Debar had ended and his days in the palace had begun. Mephibosheth could not believe it. He had the distant memory of the childrens divisions in Sabbath School, Adventurers, and Pathfinders. How good those times in the palace were! He thought they would never come back. The gospel of grace surprised him. For how many of our children and young people who are not here right now must we pray that the gospel of grace will surprise them today? We pray that the carriage will pass by the Lo Debar of their lives and that they will get in to go back to the palace. They feel wounded, crippled, tired, without hope, but there is a King who is waiting and has promised that He will give us rest. What an extraordinary and great message of grace! The King will give you a place at His table.
What really matters

Grace defines who you are. What the King thinks of you is what is truly important. The Words of the Father are what count. He dresses you, puts shoes on your feet, and gives you back your smile and the sparkle in your eyes. He gives you a place at His table. I love to see our children and young people in full dress uniform for special ceremonies. However, the dress uniform brand of grace with which Jesus Christ dresses us far surpasses this beautiful uniform. Today is a day of celebration and gratitude. It is not because of the anniversaries of this ministry in your church, nor for the awards and trophies that each one of the clubs has in its glass cabinets, but for the transformed lives of many children and young people who are waiting for the soon return of our King.
http://jovenes.interamerica.org
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Many go through the clubs, and today they are outside the church. Let us pray for them. There are parents here interceding for their children who are far from the palace; we join with them in prayer. The carriage continues to go to Lo Debar to find children who must return to the palace. May those who are already here in dress clothes continue to live in grace. May you be servants of God and friends to humanity.
Conclusion
Dear children and young people, parents and leaders, the task of Adventist Youth Ministries is to provide an experience of salvation in Christ for each child and young person who comes to our clubs and in addition, lead them to a life of service in the church and in the community. This is what we are celebrating, and it is the mission that we want to continue fulfilling in each one of our clubs. Children, young people, parents, and leaders, let us join in this mission.
If there is something that in the church, in the family, in the leadership of the club that is blocking the arteries of grace, let us release the stream of Christs blood that saves and restores. If there is anything that prevents some children and young people from getting onto the carriage to go to the palace, let us help them get on and take them to the palace. Perhaps we need to take them by the hand. Perhaps we need to walk many more miles. If there is something that makes us think that someone is not worthy of being at the table, first look at your limp and remember that Jesus did not come to call the righteous, but sinners. We all need grace. Otherwise, no one would have the slightest opportunity, no matter how much experience and how many awards we have collected. Let all the children and the parents come together to the arms of the Heavenly Father. We all have a place in the palace. We all have a place at the table. Let us feel the Kings hug. Let us pray.
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Powerful Generation
Pastor Moiss Prieto Sierra

East Venezuelan Union Youth Ministries director
MOISS Prieto Sierra graduated with a degree in theology in June 1995. He got married to Crussana Perdomo Villamizar on July 20, 1997, and from that union, Ruth Esther Prieto Perdomo was born two years ago. He began his ministry on January 1, 1996 as an associate pastor in the District of Bolivar II in Ciudad Bolivar [Bolivar City] and later, in Puerto Ordaz in the state of Bolivar. In 1997, he received the assignment of his first district in Guayana III with headquarters in San Flix. In the year 2000, he was transferred to El Tigre in the state of Anzotegui where he was for four years, also working as vice president of Zone 2 of the East Venezuelan Conference. In 2004, he was named Field Youth Leader. In addition, he continued to function as vice president if the Monagas and Delta zone. Finally, in 2008, he was called to work as the director of Youth Ministries, Music Ministries, and Chaplaincy of the East Venezuelan Union to develop his ministry for the youth and the church. He loves to play football, enjoys nature, and likes to discover new technologies and make new friends. He loves good Christian music so he has composed many hymns, some of which appear in the Adventist youth hymnbook of the Inter-American Division. He has recorded three musical productions and has helped groups and other young people to develop their music ministry. He has also written three books entitled El Reggaetn: efectos peligros y consecuencias [Reggae: Dangerous Effects and Consequences], Recordando nuestra historia [Remembering Our History], and Vison JA [Vision AY].
He received a masters degree in pastoral ministry from SETAI. Through his ministry, he has always tried to involve young people in the fulfillment of the mission. His great dream is to see a greater number of young people actively involved in the fulfillment of the true purpose of this ministry: SALVATION & SERVICE.
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Click!
We want to share some Web pages with you and official sites of the General Conference and Inter-American Division that we hope will be useful and informative: General Conference Youth Ministries - www.gcyouthministries.org IAD - www.interamerica.org IAD Youth Department - htpp://youth.interamerica.org Flicker Photo IAD - www.flickr.com/photos/interamerica IAD III Pathnder Camporee Videos - htpp://vimeo.com/interamerica IAD III Pathnder Camporee - http://camporee.interamerica.org Third Pathnder Camporee of the Inter-American Division IAD III Pathnder Camporee Twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/camporeeDIA2011 http://dialogue.adventist.org http://www.maranatha.org WEB PAGES FROM THE UNION YOUTH DEPARTMENTS Some of the Web pages from our unions are under construction. Here are the ones that are currently working with the hope that you can learn about the work and activities that are being accomplished by young people in other parts of our territory and that you can use some of the resources found on these pages: Dominican Unionwww.jovensud.org East Venezuela Unionhttp://jovenesuvo.jimdo.com Guatemala Unionwww.conectatejoven.com Honduras Unionwww.uah.hn Inter-Oceanic Mexican Unionhttp://www.interoceanica.org.mx Jamaican Unionwww.jmunion.org/departments/youth.aspx North Colombian Unionwww.jaunioncolombiananorte.com North Mexican Unionwww.jaunionmexicanadelnorte.org South Mexican Unionhttp://www.union.org.mx Venezuela-Antilles Unionwww.unionvenezolan.org
Humor
A MOTHER was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Robert, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother took the opportunity to give them a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait. Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, Robert, you be Jesus! http://www.my-pastor.com/christian-jokes.html
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Visin joven Youth Vision /enero-marzo /JulySeptember 2013 2013
Additional Material
IAD Events
Bible Boom Finals 2012

DECEMBER 6 and 7, 2012 was the first time that all the unions of the division were represented in the Bible competition that began in 2004 and that received the name Bible Boom from its 2010 version. There were twenty-two participants, accompanied by the youth directors of the respective unions and by some of the parents and friends. They came from sixteen countries of Hispanic America and the Caribbean with the intention of making the Mt. dOr Seventh-day Adventist Church in Champ Fleurs on the island of Trinidad burn with the Word of Gods fire. Through broadcasting by radio and the Internet, all the Youth Societies of the Inter-American Division and the entire world could join in the event. The atmosphere was already festive on Friday evening. Everyone enjoyed the warmth of the meditations, conversations, the play, and the high-quality music and songs. All the activities recalled or reflected the life and teachings of the most distinguished Christian missionary of the first century: the apostle Paul. Young people and not so young people, as well as some guests who did not belong to the youth movement joined together to celebrate Bible Boom 2012, the event that is intergenerational, evangelical, and historical. We must remember that the most-longed-for moment for everyone was when the contestants settled in at their lecterns to answer the thirty questions that would show their knowledge about the four books they had studied: Galatians, Romans, and 1 and 2 Corinthians. After the second round, eleven contestants qualified for the final. The tension in the air was so thick it could have been cut with a knife! Finally, the unknown came to light. The representative of the South Colombian Union, Victor Manuel Jaimes, with a score of 180 points achieved in two hours and forty-six minutes, was in first place for the Caleb Prize. His closest rivals were Eliasib Mojica of the Central Mexican Union
and Esther Alvarado of the North Mexican Union who achieved a similar score, but their time of three hours and one minute relegated them to second and third places, respectively. Thus, as birds of black, white, and red plumage gave a magnificent performance in the sky of their sanctuary before settling down to sleep, Bible Boom 2012 was placed in time and got ready to rest. This break contributed to the start of Bible Boom 2013. The part of the Bible to be studied will be the second part of Pauls letters. Cuba will host the event that will take place on December 7, 2013. Lets hope that while the different prizes continue to be organized, the Powerful Generation may be imbued with this statement: The study of the Bible is superior to all other study in strengthening the intellect (Messages to Young People, chap. 81, p. 253). LOUISE NOCANDY,
Youth Ministries department
associate director Inter-American Division
http://jovenes.interamerica.org http://youth.interamerica.org
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S E C R U O S RE The Youth Ministries Uniform Regulations Handbook

is now available!
Every Master Guide should have one!

It is also useful for parents of Adventurers and Pathfinders so that they will find out the details of their childrens uniforms.
Find it at your Union/Conference Youth department.

For more information, visit the web page of the Youth Ministries Department of the Inter-American Division: www.youth.interamerica.org
46
http://jovenes.interamerica.org
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Third Quarter 2013

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Every Master Guide should have one!

Find it at your Union/Conference Youth department.

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