BTM Book

Dedicated to Mom, Dad, Shveta, and everyone else who has supported me on my journey thus far.
You know who you are.
T able of Contents
LEGAL STUFF 3 MY STORY, THE SHORT VERSION 4 CHAPTER III THE STEP OF ENDLESS JOY: CULTIVATE A PROCESS ORIENTED MINDSET Loving the Journey The Tale of Two Martial Artists You are Perfect CHAPTER IV THE STEP OF COURAGE: MEMENTO MORI Embrace Fear Facing Your Fear Exercise: A Gradient Approach to Facing Fear Exercise: Visualization Embrace Uncertainty CHAPTER V THE STEP OF INNER PEACE: CULTIVATE EQUANIMITY You are Not Your Emotions Expanding Your Awareness You are Responsible for How You Feel Acknowledge the Bigger Picture Developing My Equanimity THE NEXT STEP 24 25 26 27 29 30 31 32 33 34 36 37 38 39 41 42 44
PREFACE 7 INTRODUCTION 9 How to Use This Book 10
CHAPTER I THE STEP OF LEADERSHIP: CULTIVATE GENERATIVITY 12 Supporting Others 13 Synergy 14 My Transformation 15 CHAPTER II THE STEP OF INTEGRATION: HONOR YOUR EMOTIONS 17 What You Resist Persists Vulnerability Self-Acceptance Mining the Gold Forgiveness of Others Forgiveness of Yourself Create an Emotional Safe Zone 18 19 20 20 21 21 22
Copyright 2011 Rahul Bhambhani, SuperiorManConsulting.com
T witter: @rbhambha Facebook: rahul.bhambhani
Legal Stuff
Disclaimer The content contained in this book is for informational purposes only. The reader accepts sole responsibility for the use of this content. The author cannot be held responsible for the way in which this information is applied. Copyright This eBook is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution No-Derivs 3.0 Unported License. Feel free to share this eBook with whoever you want. All I ask is that you do not alter the content in any way when you do.
found useful on my journey of mature masculinity. When you support the artists that created these products, you will also be supporting my mission to help others walk this life-changing path.
Affiliate Links Becoming the Man the World Needs You to Be: An Introduction contains affiliate links to products I have
My Story , the Short V ersion

Nearly four years ago, as I was sitting on my bed with my laptop, a perplexing question suddenly popped into my mind. What is my purpose in life? I was struck by the profundity of this question that had seemingly manifested out of thin air. Intrigued, I Googled the phrase how to find my purpose, clicked the first search result generated on the list, and found myself looking at this article. I read the article, performed the outlined exercise, and didnt find the answer I was looking for. For some reason, I decided to keep looking through Steves site anyway. I didnt know it at the time, but this event marked the beginning of my journey toward expanded selfawareness. Over the course of the next few months, I read pretty much all of Steves articles. Every single one altered my perspective in some way, and my life philosophy began to evolve rapidly.
At the time, I was enrolled in the Business Honors Program at The University of Texas at Austin (a top 5 program according to U.S. News in 2007). Prior to questioning my purpose in life, I was mesmerized by the allure of power, wealth, and fame. I had my mind set on becoming a portfolio manager for a large hedge fund, and I was on the optimal trajectory to make that happen. After reading Steves articles and verifying the truth of his perspectives by seeing how they applied to my own life, I came to realize the path I was on was totally meaningless. This didnt come as a surprise. I had made the decision to walk the path of becoming a portfolio manager simply because I thought it sounded important, would make my family happy, and would make me a lot of money. I never considered what I truly wanted out of my life, so by default I chose to walk societys traditional path of earn a good degree, get a job, get married, have children, work for 40 years, retire, and then die. Questioning my purpose changed things, though. As I went deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole by exploring the true nature of my reality, I eventually
reached a place where school had lost all of its appeal and its relevance to my life had faded to black. After 2 weeks of reflection and meditation, I decided to withdraw from UT Austin so I could focus intensely on my exploration of self and reality. The date was September 27 , 2007. I was 40 hours away from completing my degree, and had a 3.86 Major GPA.
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but that lost its appeal when I realized I had a much more powerful message to share with the world. While helping men handle their dating lives was rewarding work, I knew I could serve them in a much more substantial and life-changing way. Now the focus of my business is helping men become the best men they can be so they can share their unique gifts with the world in a big way. Superior Man Consulting makes sense for the name of my business now. Back when it was a dating success consulting business, not so much. Despite changing my career numerous times over the last three and a half years, one thing has remained constant in my life. My pursuit of greater self-awareness. Since dropping out of school Ive read hundreds of books related to personal development, masculinity, spirituality, and truth. Two and a half years ago, I completed a 10-Day Vipassana Meditation Retreat. I have aligned myself with incredibly wise mentors and like-minded friends who have helped me achieve a level of self-awareness I couldnt have imagined when I started walking this path.
My decision to drop out of school continues to serve as a reminder to me that I have the courage to do whatever it takes to create the life of my dreams. Nothing can hold me back. Over the next three and a half years I experimented with a few different career paths. I started a blog and wrote on the subject of personal development, but that quickly lost its appeal when I realized I didnt really know what I was talking about. I played online poker and got pretty good at it, but I gave that up once I lost my passion for it and realized it was just another grind. A grind that allowed me to be my own boss, but a grind nonetheless. I ran a women and dating success consulting business,
These days, Id rather stay in on a Friday night and read or have a meaningful discussion with close friends instead of go out to party like many of the people my age do (although I still do go out from time to time). The only reason I can offer people when they ask me why I live my life the way I do is I love learning. I love broadening and deepening my understanding of Truth (capital T because Im talking about the rules that govern the nature of our reality). Extrinsic desires such as women, wealth, fame, or power do not motivate me. My thirst for knowledge is an intrinsic drive. Naturally, when one aligns his perspectives with Truth, his ability to create the reality he desires improves because he understands the rules of the game. Ive seen this happen in my life and the lives of my friends who also walk this path over the past three and a half years. Ive reached a point now where I feel I have a solid grasp on much of what I have learned, and am ready to take my learning and understanding to a whole new level through teaching. This book is an expression of my desire to teach and share what I have learned with the world.
If youre reading this book, it means you and I are quite similar. I would love to get to know you because I believe a person can never have enough like-minded friends in his or her life. If after reading this book you would like to connect with me, please dont hesitate to shoot me a message on Twitter or Facebook. Thank you for reading!
Preface
Humanity is teetering on the edge of self-destruction. Evidence of this truth is all around us, yet we continue to bury our heads in the sands of denial. Too many of us live solely for the purpose of improving the quality of our lives while the world around us moves steadily toward oblivion. This pattern of existence cannot continue much longer. The way we choose to live our lives affects everyone around us. If were not sharing our unique gifts with the world in all their wonder, everyone suffers, including ourselves. Im not preaching a selfless win/lose arrangement here. Individuality is important, and theres nothing wrong with focusing on improving the quality of our lives. The problems of the world arise, however, when that drive doesnt take into account the reality that each one of us is part of a greater whole.
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get what they want and need dictates the degree to which he gets what he wants and needs. What better way for a man to accomplish this mutual exchange than to serve the world while doing the thing he is the best at and loves most? Our problem today is that too many of us act from a place of fear and limitation instead of courage and possibility. We are too afraid to take the steps necessary to get intimate with the deepest levels of our being. As a result, the level of self-awareness required to access our unique gifts remains just beyond our reach. As humanity inches closer and closer toward selfdestruction, the world needs more visionary, courageous, self-actualized, and compassionate men to rise up and step into positions of leadership. Mature masculine men. The leadership positions of our world today are occupied by immature boys masquerading as men. Boyish men consumed by their personal ambitions for power, wealth, and fame who operate with little regard for the billions of people affected by their decisions.
For a man to create the lifestyle of abundance he truly desires, he must learn to extend beyond meeting his own needs and find a way to share his unique gifts with the world. The degree to which he helps others
By looking at the state of our world today, its clear that our current way of doing things isnt serving us too well. If we are to shift the tides of humanitys fate in a more favorable direction, something must change. Ive written this book to provide men with the first few insights they need to start walking the path of mature masculinity. Coincidentally, this also happens to be the path that provides men with lasting personal fulfillment, abundant prosperity, and a life of meaning. I hope to inspire millions of men to step into their mature masculine power with this message so we can start manifesting the change necessary to shift the tides of humanitys fate. I will be eternally grateful if you share this book with whoever you think might benefit from reading it once you are done with it. Join me now as we set out on a journey together to evolve into the kind of men whose efforts contribute to the creation of a new world. A world where the expression of each individuals unique gifts is encouraged, fostered, and fully appreciated.
A world where the unity of all beings is acknowledged.
Introduction
This book was written for a special kind of man. The kind of man who feels the pain of the world and wants to rise up to lead his fellow beings from darkness to light. The kind of man who is tired of living a life that is an expression of only a smidgen of his true potential. The kind of man who has a fire in his belly to share his unique gifts with the world in a big way. Few men meet these conditions, but the ones that do are destined to make a permanent mark on the world we live in, the world our children live in, the world their children live in, and so on. If you are one of these extraordinary men, welcome. This is the path of mature masculinity. Im writing this book because I understand the challenges of this path, and know the courage necessary to walk it can only be had when a very specific set of conditions are met. Too many potentially extraordinary men shy away from this path of exceptional responsibility because
they do not know what to expect, do not believe in themselves, do not have a mature masculine man in their lives to guide them, and dont have the support group in place around them to succeed. This book and the books that follow it will aim to give these men the guidance they need so they can start living a life that is a full expression of their true potential. Ive been walking this path now for four years. Its been an incredible journey so far. My life has transformed in ways I couldnt have imagined when I started, and is steadily evolving into a dedication to humanity. Thats what tends to happen when a man fully steps into his power and totally accepts the responsibility that comes with possessing his unique gifts. Its not enough to keep your unique gifts to yourself and use them only for your own benefit. Thats boyishness. If you are to evolve into a mature masculine man, you must find a way to share your unique gifts in all their wonder with the world.
Im not going to lie. Walking the path of mature masculinity is scary at times. Often times you will feel like no one understands you and what you are trying to accomplish. Its always challenging. Life will demand you take several leaps of faith to prove your commitment to the path. You will have to dig deep during these times to find the inner clarity, determination, and resolve necessary to successfully land safely on your feet. If you prove to have the iron will, vision, courage, and clarity of mind required to continue walking the path even during the most trying of times, you will eventually arrive at a place very few men have been before. The name of this place is transcendence. Its reserved for the Gandhis, Churchills, and Buddhas of this world. Here you will operate from a position of pristine awareness, tremendous influence, and unshakeable commitment to your mission. You will gain access to positions of leadership by earning the trust and respect of your peers, and will responsibly wield this authority to leave a lasting positive impact on our world.
This is the path to immortality.
How to Use This Book

Mans mind stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimensions. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes This book has been laid out as a journey that is meant to be experienced. Along this journey you will periodically be asked to pause and take a few moments to reflect on your life. When you arrive at one of these waypoints, take your time and allow yourself to go as deeply into your experience as possible to discover the treasures that lay beneath the surface of your consciousness. I am confident that if you take your time with this book and savor it, you will have powerful realizations that will stretch your mind to new dimensions. Dimensions where you will be able to better handle the trials and tribulations that lay ahead on the path of mature masculinity. Five of the steps you must take on your journey toward mature masculinity are illuminated in the upcoming chapters.
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After reading a chapter, I recommend you take a few days away from the book to apply the lessons you have learned in that chapter to your daily life. If you want to read the book all the way through in one sitting the first time around, thats fine also, but please remember this is a book that is meant to be experienced. That being the case, each concept has to be allowed the necessary time and application it needs to become an integrated part of your being. If you have managed to make it this far in the book, and are ready to start walking the path of mature masculinity, lets not wait any longer. The journey of becoming the man the world needs you to be begins now
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1
The Step of Leadership: Cul tiv a te Genera tivity
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
- John Quincy Adams
Within the context of evolving into a more mature masculine man, being generative is your drive to encourage and support the development of those around you. Its about bringing out the best in others, creating win/win agreements, and understanding that when your peers succeed, you succeed also. An immature man constantly sees himself in competition with others because in his reality, the world is a place of scarcity. Theres only a limited amount of the pie to go around, so he has to secure as much of his share as possible as soon as possible or his competitors are going to take it. By having this attitude toward prosperity, the immature man is never able to look beyond meeting his own needs. As a result, he cant be generative, and the world of interdependence remains inaccessible to him. Unfortunately for him, interdependence is where all of the magic takes place.
Supporting Others
As a man who is seeking to further develop his mature masculinity, it is important you take some time right now to examine the beliefs you hold about success and prosperity. Do you believe theres a limited quantity of the pie to go around, and that you must grab your share of it before someone else takes it? How do you feel when someone close to you achieves success on his or her respective path? Are you congratulatory and genuinely excited, or are you secretly insulting and full of resentment? When people excitedly share their dreams and aspirations with you, does your mind first consider all of the reasons why it wont work out for those people, or does your mind automatically jump to all of the different ways you can support those people on their journey to success? Carefully consider your answers and feelings toward these questions, and be totally honest with yourself. If youve come to the realization that you are operating from a place of scarcity and secretly harbor resentment toward the success and prosperity of others, thats awesome.
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Wait. What? How is realizing youre a jealous asshole who secretly wishes other people fail so you can feel better about yourself awesome, you ask? Awareness is the first step in the process of change. Now that you are aware of your beliefs toward prosperity and success, you can begin changing them by bringing that same awareness to your daily interactions with others. Up until now, whenever you were interacting with someone who was more positive, prosperous, or successful than yourself, your mind reactively made you feel inadequate and resentful in response. This is about to change.
However, instead of succumbing to those reactions this time around, you will proactively seek to generatively support the growth, success, and prosperity of others. You will seek to create interdependent relationships with all of the people you meet. This may be as simple as offering words of encouragement and receiving appreciation from another person, or may be as involved as partnering up with another person to work on an insanely complex project youre both extremely passionate about. By adopting this new approach of supporting the growth of the people you meet while striving to form interdependent relationships with them, you will be reprogramming your mind to believe, synergistic relationships are the best kind of relationships to have. This process might be uncomfortable at first because its not aligned with who you are, but soon enough you will find the reactionary feelings of resentment and inadequacy no longer pop up when interacting with others. Instead, your minds first response will be to seek out ways to support people through the creation of the most synergistic relationships possible.
Synergy
From now on, by bringing your newfound awareness to your interactions with others, you will notice whenever you are coming from a place of scarcity (feelings of resentment and inadequacy will bubble to the surface of your consciousness).
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My T ransformation
The reason why I am so familiar with the process of developing generativity is because not too long ago I realized my beliefs toward success and prosperity had their basis in scarcity. Thats right. Once upon a time I was a jealous asshole too. I constantly felt threatened and inadequate whenever people around me were enjoying greater success than I was. Whenever someone shared their dreams and aspirations with me, I would put on a smile, say cool, and then silently hope they would fail so my feelings of superiority and grandiosity could safely remain intact. For a long time this reactive cycle operated within my mind unnoticed by me, but one day I came to observe what was going on and started to question why it was happening. After much reflection, I realized I held the beliefs outlined in the questions you were asked to ponder at the beginning of this chapter.
This was a huge realization for me, and I resolved to use my newfound awareness to change the way I related to people. I actively started seeking out synergistic relationships with my peers, and it didnt take long for me to realize this type of relationship was far superior to the ones of dependence or independence I had previously been creating with others. Nowadays, my mind instantly seeks out the best way to support everyone I meet. Sometimes that means offering words of inspiration and encouragement to give someone the extra push they need to take courageous action in his or her life. Other times it means bringing my unique abilities and talents to the table to help a group of people with a project theyre working on. Its amazing to see the difference this approach to managing relationships has made in my life. I have an abundance of support, encouragement, and appreciation coming at me from my close friends as well as from people I havent even met before (via Facebook, Twitter, and my websites).
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Also, quite a few exciting opportunities have recently come my way because Im the first person many people have in mind when considering who to bring on board to help them with a new project. Im not sharing my story with you to brag about my accomplishments. Instead, Im sharing it with you to make apparent whats waiting for you at the other end of your process of transformation. I have no doubt in my mind that you will enjoy similar benefits (and beyond) once you make your shift to being a more generative man. The magical world of interdependence awaits your arrival.
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2
The Step of Integra tion: Honor Y our Emotions
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
- Anonymous
There are many misconceptions in our society today about how a real man is supposed to deal with his emotions. Most of what we men have learned about dealing with our emotions while growing up has taught us to suppress, resist, and ignore them lest we wish to be considered a pussy or a girly man by our peers. We men have unquestioningly followed this prescription of emotional suppression for years, but if we are to look closely at how this policy has fared us up until now, we will see it has wreaked far more destruction on our psyches than it has done good.
From here, like a puppeteer master pulling his puppets invisible strings, our repressed emotions control us by influencing the way we see the world without our being aware of it. This process takes away our ability to exercise deliberate control over our lives because we are constantly under the influence of forces outside of our awareness. For example, lets say youve just broken up with your girlfriend and youre experiencing intense feelings of loss, resentment, and sadness. If you choose to suck it up and be a man by suppressing those emotions, they have the potential to affect all of your future relationships with women by embedding negative associations about intimate relationships deep in your psyche. By ignoring your emotions, not only do you hurt those around you by reactively lashing out at them from a place of hostility and resentment (i.e. women if the above scenario applies to you), you also hurt yourself because you are relinquishing control over your life to the painful experiences of your past. Imagine a bubbling pool of magma boiling beneath the surface of the Earth waiting to explode in a volcanic eruption. Thats whats going on in the depths of your mind when you refuse to honor your emotions.
What Y ou Resist Persists

Following the prescription of emotional suppression seems to be an easy choice when we believe it is the best way to overcome any negative side effects our emotions may have on our state of mind. The truth is, however, that whenever we fail to pay due respect to what we are feeling, our neglected emotions lodge themselves deep within our psyches and continue to affect us beneath the surface of our consciousness.
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V ulnerability
The path to honoring your emotions is paved by vulnerability, honesty, self-acceptance, and forgiveness. The first step on this path is getting comfortable with being vulnerable. Im not necessarily recommending that you open up indiscriminately to others (although I feel it is good practice to open up to people you trust because sharing is healing); instead, Im suggesting you get comfortable being vulnerable with yourself. Id like to request now that you drop whatever notions you have about what it means to be a man, and give yourself permission to dive deeply into the process outlined in the next few paragraphs for some time. Close your eyes and allow yourself to explore your answers and emotional responses to the following questions, one by one. You dont need to extensively explore the emotions that come up just yet. For now, simply focus on becoming aware of and acknowledging the emotions that bubble up to the surface of your consciousness. What fears and anxieties have you refused to acknowledge in an effort to avoid feeling or appearing weak?
What feelings of loss or sadness have you suppressed in an effort to appear or be strong? What feelings of resentment and hostility have you held on to so you can feel justified in blaming others for the undesirable circumstances in your life? What feelings of guilt have you been holding on to in an effort to justify why you arent experiencing what you truly want to experience in life? This may be the first time in years (or perhaps your entire life) youve allowed yourself to be vulnerable enough to acknowledge these parts of your being. If the emotional feedback is overwhelming, view that as an indicator that youre on the right track. Thats exactly the way youre supposed to feel during this process. Take as much time as you need to simply be with these neglected emotions, giving them the attention and acknowledgement they deserve. Once you feel like youve spent enough time on this process, move on to the next section in this chapter.
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Self-Acceptance
Now that you have taken the time to be with some of your repressed emotions, you may be finding you are strongly resisting what you have discovered. You may be having a hard time acknowledging and accepting your emotions for what they are. Perhaps these emotions have painted a picture of you as a helpless victim who has relinquished responsibility for his life to others. Maybe you feel intense resentment toward an exgirlfriend and you want to hold on to it, because if you let it go then you wont have anyone to blame but yourself for your lackluster love life. You may have discovered there is an immense amount of guilt and sadness stirring beneath the surface of your consciousness you cant let go of because you believe you deserve the pain. If youre struggling to acknowledge, accept, and gently let go of these emotions, thats okay. This process is not meant to be a walk in the park. Facing repressed emotions takes courage, and I admire you for being willing to do so.
The first step in the process of gently letting go of these emotions is self-acceptance. The reality is that these emotions do exist, and they are a part of you. Stop resisting what is, and your emotions will lose a significant amount of traction in your mind. What you resist persists, remember?
Mining the Gold

Once youve managed to stop resisting what is, and youre able to allow your emotions to swirl around tumultuously in your mind, the next step in the process is coming to an understanding that whatever happened to you in the past was absolutely necessary to get you to where you are right now. Take a deeper look into the experiences from your past that are creating the emotions you are feeling now, and try to find the gold in those experiences. For example, lets say you were picked on when you were younger for being the fat kid, but that experience motivated you to start living a healthy lifestyle and youre in peak physical condition today. Youre probably still holding on to the resentment toward those people (and people who match their
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description today) who picked on you in your childhood. But are you able to see now how that experience was actually a blessing in disguise? Without it you may not have had the drive necessary to create the healthy lifestyle you are living today.
Just like you each one of these people is trying to avoid suffering in his or her life. Just like you each one of these people is seeking to fulfill his or her needs. Just like you each one of these people is learning about life. Looking back on the painful experiences of your past, you may see now that the people who hurt you are not much different from you. They are human beings just like you and are going through life experiencing many of the same things you are. Use your compassion now to gently let your resentment and hostility toward these people go.
Forgiveness of Others
The process outlined in this section is one I picked up from Harry Palmers Avatar Forgiveness MiniCourse. Download it, read it, and use it regularly. Its excellent and totally free! The final step in the process of honoring your emotions is forgiveness of others and forgiveness of yourself. Realize now that every person on this planet has experienced the same range of emotions as you have. Just like you, theyve known despair. Just like you, theyve known sadness. Just like you, theyve known loneliness. And just like you, each one of these people is seeking some happiness for his or her life.
Forgiveness of Y ourself
Guilt is self-directed blame and hostility. If you are experiencing intense feelings of guilt, look back now on the past experiences you are feeling guilt toward and notice how in every situation you were simply doing what you believed was best for yourself at that time.
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For example, lets say you feel guilty about treating an ex-girlfriend like crap. Lets also say the reason why you treated her like crap at the time was because you felt constricted by her neediness and thought treating her that way would push her away so you could have some breathing room. Thats just an off the wall example, but still sticking with this example, how can you blame yourself for doing what you thought was best for yourself at the time? Sure you may know better than to act that way now (the gold you mined from the experience), but at the time you didnt know any better and you did what any normal human being would be expected to do in such a situation. You looked out for yourself. Through this process of forgiveness you will transform your hostility and resentment toward yourself and others into compassion. With this newfound compassion, you will finally be able to break free of the limiting effects your repressed emotions have had on you for so long. With this freedom, you will be able to exert greater deliberate control over what you create for yourself during this lifetime.
You will be able to act from a place of generativity, love, and compassion instead of from a place of hostility, resentment, and guilt. This is the mark of a mature masculine man.
Create an Emotional Safe Zone

The following is a concept I learned from David DeAngelo in his Man Transformation program (highly recommended program, by the way). Im sharing it with you because it has been a crucial tool on my journey toward mature masculinity, and I feel like its the cherry on top of the entire process described in this chapter. No man should have to deal with the challenges and pains of life on his own, nor should a man keep his wins and life-changing realizations exclusively to himself. It is important for a man to have another person(s) in his life he completely trusts that he can share his emotions, insights, and experiences with.
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By openly sharing his experiences with people he respects and trusts, a man can further deepen his realizations, invite in loving support during tough times, accelerate the healing process after experiencing emotional trauma, and generatively support the growth of others with his insights. If the idea of an emotional safe zone makes you feel uncomfortable, I totally understand. Many men feel like they should deal with their issues on their own because they believe they are placing a burden on others by talking about their personal problems. The above statement is only true for an immature man, however. An immature man mistakenly believes that sharing his problems with others is a burden on them only because he feels burdened when another person opens up to him about his or her problems. This is a process called projection. A mature masculine man is only concerned with creating interdependent relationships with people, and understands that interdependence is a process of giving and receiving.
He openly shares his experiences with others, and when his turn is over, he respectfully and attentively listens to what others have to share because he genuinely wants to support their growth and development. The most important thing to keep in mind when creating your emotional safe zone is to make sure you pick a person or group of people you feel totally safe and comfortable being vulnerable with. It doesnt necessarily have to be a group of men (although I highly recommend this because you guys will understand each other better). If youre still uncomfortable with the idea of being vulnerable with someone other than yourself, thats okay. If this is the case, then I recommend at the very least you get a journal and regularly document your feelings, realizations, and experiences. The journal can be your emotional safe zone, and it will still work quite well. Im confident you will find creating an emotional safe zone to be just as beneficial on your journey of mature masculinity as I have. I retreat into its safety and comfort often, and because of this I am able to handle the experiences of my life in a much healthier and more positive way.
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3
The Step of Endless Joy: Cul tiv a te a Process Oriented Mindset
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Y et there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. Y ou know you will never get to the end of thejourney. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb. - Winston Churchill
We live in an outcome oriented society. The programming begins the moment we enter the schooling system at the ripe age of 5 years old. We are rewarded with good grades and punished with bad ones. We quickly learn the only thing that truly matters is the end result. We then use any means necessary to attain a favorable end result. How else can we explain the prevalence of cheating in the schooling system? Outcome orientation then extends into the workplace, and employees are regularly reviewed on a performance basis. Once again, the only thing that matters is the end result. What have you done for the company over X span of time? If youve not produced up to expectation, youre outta there. Its no wonder were never satisfied with where we currently are. Weve been programmed to feel satisfaction only when we attain a favorable end result. But when do we ever arrive at that favorable end result? As we get closer and closer to accomplishing a goal weve set for ourselves, we begin thinking about the
next big goal we can start chasing. This process never allows for anytruesatisfaction. We simply dont give ourselves the time necessary to stop and smell the roses. This outcome oriented mindset is held by the immature man, and it explains why so many men today are willing to compromise their integrity to attain a desired end result as soon as possible.
Loving the Journey

A mature masculine man embraces whatever life gives him because he understands that interlaced within the fabric of his current reality are all of the lessons he needs to reach the next stage in his personal evolution. Understanding this truth, he focuses on fully absorbing the rich experiences each step of his journey has to offer. He is not hyper-focused on the end result because he knows he is a success as long as he continues on the path of evolving into the best man he can be. He sees the current step on his journey to be just as valuable as the steps before it and the steps after it. No one step is greater than the other.
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He knows the end result is just another name for the first step in the next phase of his evolution. He realizes the journey will never end, so he is not disillusioned by the concept of arriving. There is no arrival. There is only the journey. This is the process oriented mindset.
In my class there was another black belt. He was not an instructor, but he was a second degree black belt nonetheless and had also practiced the arts for many years. Whenever he would demonstrate the execution of a maneuver for the class, it would always come across as clumsy and leave much to be desired. Here was a guy who had been practicing the arts for years, and yet he couldnt flawlessly execute even the most fundamental maneuvers. I began to wonder how it was possible that two martial artists who had been practicing for nearly the same amount of time could produce such drastically different results. My curiosity got the best of me one day and I decided to ask my instructor what could create such a discrepancy in outcomes. His answer was, Rahul, Ive always been the kind of guy who enjoys the journey, and I attribute all of my success in life to that. The reason why I can execute the maneuvers flawlessly and gracefully is because whenever I was a white belt I would focus on absorbing all of the lessons being
The T ale of T wo Martial Artists

Four years ago, I was enrolled in a martial arts class. My lead instructor was a 4th degree black belt in the arts and had been practicing for many years. Whenever he would demonstrate a maneuver for the class, we would all watch in amazement as he flawlessly executed it to perfection. His martial arts philosophy carried over into his daily life, and I noticed his normal walk was just as graceful as his execution of the martial arts forms. I also noticed he was always joyous, always supportive, and always endlessly patient with his students.
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a white belt had to offer. When I was a green belt, I focused on absorbing all of the lessons being a green belt had to offer. When I was a brown belt, I focused on absorbing all of the lessons being a brown belt had to offer, and so on. I was never in a rush to become a black belt, and that served me well because in martial arts, just as in life, each step builds on the one before it. Every brick in my foundation is solid, so things flow easily for me now. The other black belt in my class, while on his journey, was consumed by his desire to achieve black belt. Even though he eventually attained his desired outcome, his results were glaringly suboptimal to those of my instructors. He half-assed learning the lessons all of the previous belts had to offer just so he could get to his desired outcome as soon as possible, and it showed. Consider now where you are missing out on the joy, depth of experience, and lessons the journey has to offer because youre overly focused on attaining a specific outcome. You may find, as I did not long ago, that your attitude toward life itself is one of outcome orientation.
Y ou are Perfect
To close out this chapter, Ill leave you with this metaphor to ponder (transcribed word for word from The Practicing Mind: Bringing Discipline and Focus into Your Life by Thomas Sterner. Its a wonderful book, and I highly recommend it). At what pointis a flower perfect? Is it when it is nothing more than a seed in your hand waiting to be planted? All that it will ever be is there in that moment. Is it when it first starts to germinate unseen under several inches of soil? This is when it displays the first visible signs of the miracle we call creation. How about when it first pokes its head through the surface and sees the face of the sun for the first time? All of its energies have gone into reaching for this source of life; until this point, it has had nothing more than an inner voice telling it which way to grow to find it. What about when it begins to flower? This is when its individual properties start to be seen. The shape of the leaves, the number of blooms are all unique to just this one flower, even among the other flowers of the same species. Or is it the stage of full bloom, the crescendo of all the energy and effort it took to reach this point in its life? Lets not forget that humble and quiet ending when it returns to the soil from where it came. At what point is the flower perfect?
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Just like the flower, you arealwaysperfect. You are exactly where you need to be right now to learn the lessons you need to learn to evolve into the best man you can be. Revel in the beauty of the person you are. Accept yourself totally. Realize your journey is an ever unfolding path of perfection that is uniquelyyours. From this point onward, decide you no longer view yourself as successful only when you arrive. Instead, observe that you arealwaysa success simply because you are on the path to becoming the best man you can be. You know you will inevitably reach your goals as long as you continue taking one step after another. All the while you will be absorbing the profound and wonderful lessons each step on your journey has to offer.
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4
The Step of Courage: Memento Mori
Today is a good day to die!
- Native American W ar Cry
Memento Mori is a Latin phrase translated as Remember your mortality. Its the art of living your life from one moment to the next with the understanding that at any moment your life may abruptly come to an end. By holding this understanding of his impending death in front of him at all times, the mature masculine man acts decisively and courageously in the present moment. He lives a life free of hesitation and regret because hes constantly aware that this moment is the only one hes guaranteed. The Native Americans who would scream the war cry quoted above before leaping into battle fully understood this truth, and believed today was a good day to die because it was an opportunity to depart with honor and valor. Take some time right now to reflect on the fact that one day you will die. Theres no escaping this truth. Be inside your body. Focus on your breath. Feel your heartbeat. Feel your mortality. Its easy to slip into the comfortable rhythm of our
daily routines and lose sight of this truth. We barrel through each day expecting tomorrow to always show up. Then one day, as suddenly as we were conceived, we return to the dust we came from having lived a life constricted by our fears and the delusional thinking that well get to it tomorrow. If youre not taking decisive and courageous action right now toward creating the life of your dreams and becoming the man you want to be, then youre living a life based in hope and not reality. Youre hoping one day youll have the courage to face the obstacles that stand in your way. Youre looking forward to a tomorrow that may or may not exist. All the while, action in the present moment eludes you. Next thing you know, youre laying on your death bed full of regret wondering what if. Decide now that this will not be your story.
Embrace Fear
Fear is an uncomfortable emotion and our immediate reaction is to get as far away from it as possible when we feel it.
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Many people spend their entire lives avoiding situations where they will be forced to confront their fears, and as a result, these people live a life that is only a drop in the ocean that is their true potential. Your fear is what stands between the current version of you and the most magnificent version of you. What you fear, you must eventually face. As a man who is proactively seeking to develop his mature masculinity, on your journey you will regularly be required to confront the fears that stand in your way of evolving into the best man you can be. That being the case, youre going to have to get comfortable with fear. So comfortable, in fact, that the two of you are going to have to become close friends. Whats the first step in the process of cultivating this intimate friendship? Instead of resisting fear when it kicks in, embrace it. Feel it completely. Do not resist it, because doing so will only magnify its effect on you. Accept that your fear is there. Dont fool yourself into thinking you are too manly to experience it.
Being comfortable with fear is similar to being in the eye of a hurricane. When your fear response is activated, the contents of your mind swirl around violently, but at the center of the vortex is a profound stillness. Operating from this stillness, you take decisive and courageous action. Dont be surprised if you fail to experience the stillness Im talking about in the paragraph above the first time you go out and confront your fears after reading this chapter. Developing the level of comfort necessary to experience total stillness in spite of the presence of fear is a process. As you continue to embrace fear, you will progressively gain access to deeper and more profound states of stillness in spite of it.
Facing Y our Fear

The thought of having to go out and eventually face your most terrifying fears probably has a paralytic effect on your mind and body. I know it did on me. Thats just the way it is, and thats okay. Remember, dont resist reality; accept it as it is.
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Its not necessary that you go out into the world and slay your most intimidating dragons right away. What is necessary, however, is that you are taking deliberate and consistent action toward that eventual confrontation. The process outlined below is the approach I use to methodically confront my fears. The great thing about this approach is that it never lets your fear reach the point where it has a paralyzing effect on you. Exercise: A Gradient Approach to Facing Fear Create a 1-10 scale. Assign an activity associated with mild fear to number 1, and an activity associated with paralytic fear to number 10. Fill in the numbers in between to create a gradient scale of confrontation. Move up to the next level of confrontation whenever you feel relatively comfortable at your current level. If the fear at a new level has a paralytic effect on you, either move back down to the previous level, or if that step is too easy, create a new level that is slightly more confrontational than the one you just moved up from.
Example: I fear approaching women. 1. Make brief eye contact with 5 different women while in public. 2. Make brief eye contact and smile at 5 different women while in public. 3. Approach and conversate with 5 different female sales associates in retail stores. 4. Hold prolonged eye contact (3 seconds) with 5 different women while in public. 5. Approach 5 different women, ask them for the time or directions, and then walk away. 6. Approach 5 different women in a retail store and conversate with them for 1 min about an item nearby. 7. Approach 5 different women sitting down or standing still, pay them a compliment, and then walk away. 8. Approach 5 different women sitting down or standing still, compliment them, and then conversate with them. 9. Approach 5 different moving women, stop them, compliment them, and then conversate with them. 10. Approach 5 different women who are with a friend or group of friends, compliment the woman youre attracted to, and then conversate with her and the group.
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Apply this gradient approach to facing any fear you notice is standing in the way of your progress, and youll be well on your way toward deliberately creating the life of your dreams. Exercise: Visualization If creating a 1-10 gradient scale isnt your style, visualization is another excellent way to take some of the edge off of your fears. If you did create a 1-10 gradient scale, I highly recommend you use it in tandem with visualization. It makes for a powerful combination. Numerous studies have shown that visualization is just as effective as real practice at improving the performance of a specific activity. The mind cannot tell the difference between imagination and reality. Example: I fear approaching women. Close your eyes and visualize yourself in a supermarket. Hear the sounds of the supermarket. Smell the smells of the supermarket. See the sights of the supermarket. Make it as real as possible. Youre walking in the produce section and all of a sudden you see her. Your dream girl is standing less
than 10 feet away sifting through a basket of red apples. Shes totally focused on the process of picking apples and doesnt notice you looking at her. How do you feel at this moment? What thoughts are popping into your mind? What are you going to do? Instead of walking away or following her around the supermarket without talking to her like youve always done in the past, this time you decide to approach her. As you step closer and closer to her, you may notice you feel nervous, but youre not letting an opportunity like this slide by again. Youre going to make it happen this time. Finally youre standing right next to her. You touch her arm lightly, say excuse me, and then say, I just noticed you standing here, and I had to come over and let you know I think youre absolutely gorgeous. She blushes, giggles, and then thanks you. You hold out your hand, introduce yourself, and the conversation begins. End visualization. Feel free to change the setting, the girl, and the style of your approach. Sometimes, see the girl reacting
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neutrally or poorly. In response to these reactions, see yourself maintaining your composure and walking away with your head held high. The most important part of this process is to make the visualization as real as possible. Create a sensory rich environment you can immerse yourself in, and your mind wont be able to tell the difference between your imagination and reality. Use this powerful process often to make real progress toward overcoming the fears that stand in the way of your development.
most of the time we ended up taking action anyway. We didnt look to avoid uncertainty. Instead, we found it exciting because it was our portal into the realm of unlimited possibility where our drive to dream and explore could lead us to incredible new places. As we grew older societal programming gradually set in, and we became increasingly wary of uncertainty and the risks that came with stepping into it. The life of dreaming and exploring eventually took a backseat to the pursuit of comfort and security. Sadly, when that transition was complete we had effectively cut off access to our true potential. A mans greatness is only available to him within the realm of all possibilities, and to tap into this realm a man must relearn how to embrace uncertainty. Take some time now to examine where you have compromised access to your true potential because you have let fear and the pursuit of security dictate how you live your life. Are you working a job you arent passionate about just to make ends meet because youre afraid of taking the leap of faith necessary to start doing the work you love?
Embrace Uncertainty
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. ~ Helen Keller When we were toddlers, the world was a place full of uncertainty. Most of the time we didnt know where taking a specific action would lead us. That didnt stop our curiosity from getting the best of us, however, and
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Are you in a relationship thats going nowhere because youre afraid if you leave your girlfriend you wont be able to find anyone else? Are you shying away from pursuing the life of your dreams because youre afraid of what it might mean if you fail? If youve realized you have settled for a life of security, see now that everything you have been holding on to is worthless because it is not what you truly desire. Life is either a dangerous adventure, or nothing. That begs the question, how do you get back in touch with the courage and exploratory nature of your inner child? Memento Mori. Remember, tomorrow may or may not come. With every step you take, deliberately move closer to the life of your dreams. Security does not exist in nature, and everything you seek to hold on to and protect in your life can be taken away from you at any moment. Death does not wait. You must not wait either.
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5
The Step of Inner Peace: Cul tiv a te Equanimity
Happy the man who can endure the highest and the lowest fortune. He, who has endured such vicissitudes with equanimity, has deprived misfortune of its power.
- Seneca
Equanimity is a state of mind characterized by mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper. Its easy to maintain when the conditions of our reality are agreeable, but it gets much more challenging to preserve when things arent going our way. The ability to maintain equanimity in even the most trying circumstances is what sets apart the mature masculine man from the immature man. Acting from a place of equanimity, the mature masculine man is able to consciously choose the most appropriate response to the circumstances he faces in his life. If youve ever seen a James Bond movie before, then youve also seen an awesome example of what Im describing in the paragraph above. No matter how threatening or dire the circumstances James finds himself in, hes always cool, calm, and collected. His equanimity enables him to quickly calculate the action that will give him the highest chance of survival in various life-threatening situations. Cultivating your equanimity is absolutely crucial if you are to successfully traverse the challenging path of mature masculinity. Without it, you will constantly find yourself being reactively pulled in every which direction, and your journey may slow to a crawl or come completely to a halt.
Equanimity will provide you with the clarity of mind necessary to take righteous, courageous, and decisive action even when the world seems to be caving in on you. It will illuminate the next few steps you must take to keep moving forward even in the darkest of times.
Y ou are Not Y our Emotions

Take a moment now to recall a pleasant memory from your past. Relive the experience in as much detail as possible. While doing so, notice the emotions associated with the memory that bubble up to the surface of your consciousness. Perhaps youre experiencing feelings of peace or happiness at this moment. Now, lets shift your perspective. Instead of becoming peace or happiness by getting absorbed in the experience of your memory, detach from the emotions by observing them from a neutral standpoint. Imagine you are sitting in a movie theater and watching your memory play out in front of you on the big screen. Notice how you may still be able to feel the emotions associated with the memory, but now they feel more distant and you have new perspective on what they are and whats causing them.
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In both instances the memory is your memory, the only difference between them is the perspective you are identifying with. In the first, you are the one experiencing. In the second, you are observing the experience. What is it that is observing your experience in the movie theater? Its the real you. Eckhart Tolle, in his book The Power of Now, calls this presence The Watcher. The very fact it exists is empirical evidence that you are more than just your thoughts and emotions. Despite how obvious this may seem now after doing the simple distinction exercise outlined in the previous paragraphs, the majority of people on our planet lack this understanding of who they really are. They sleepwalk through their lives, reacting like Pavlovian dogs to their emotional experience. Someone pays them a compliment? Feel happy and respond with enthusiasm. Someone criticizes them? Feel angry and respond with aggression.
They are not able to deliberately choose how to act in response to external stimuli. Because of this, they are not in control of their lives. I remember being the exact same way as the majority of people not long ago. Then one day, just like you, I performed the simple distinction exercise outlined in this chapter and my life was changed forever. From that point onward, I began to focus my efforts on expanding my awareness so I could identify with The Watcher as much as possible.
Expanding Y our A wareness

Take a moment now to be totally present. Close your eyes and focus on the natural inflow and outflow of your breath. See how long you can maintain this focus before getting lost in thought. If you are anything like I was when I first performed this exercise, you probably lost your focus within 10 seconds of getting started. Thats perfectly normal and okay, but you should view it as an indicator of the extent to which your mind has control over you instead of vice versa.
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Unless you regain control over the focus of your attention, you will not be able to live deliberately and your true potential will forever remain beyond your reach. Regaining control over your attention will be a gradual process, and will require a considerable amount of effort on your part. You will have to work to expand your awareness to the point where you are able to objectively observe your thoughts and emotions without getting lost in them. A great way to get started with this process is to perform the breath exercise outlined in the beginning of this section multiple times per day for a total of 10 minutes. Focus on the inflow and outflow of your breath, and whenever you notice your attention has become lost in a thought or emotion, gently and forgivingly place your attention back on your breath. Once youre comfortable with this process and can keep your attention on your breath for an extended period of time, tack an additional 10 minutes on to your daily practice. During these 10 minutes, sit up straight and slowly scan each part of your body with your awareness. Start at the top of your head and move all the way down to the tips of your toes. Youll find that moving your
attention through your body without getting lost in thought or emotion is considerably more challenging than simply focusing on your breath. If you would like to expand your awareness to an entirely new dimension, consider attending a 10-Day Vipassana Meditation retreat. I completed a retreat nearly 3 years ago and Im still reaping the benefits of it today. Vipassana is non-sectarian, nondenominational, and universal in its application. You can read my review on it here. The desired end result of this work is to get to a point where you are able to maintain your awareness even in the face of chaotic emotions like despair or fury. From a place of awareness, you will be free to choose how to act instead of reactively making suboptimal decisions at the hands of these chaotic emotions.
Y ou are Responsible for How Y ou Feel

No one can make you feel a certain way. Whether you are aware of it or not, you are ultimately responsible for the way you feel in response to external stimuli.
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Thats right. The buttons people push that piss you off, make you feel inferior, or make you feel jealous only exist in your mind. And by not accepting responsibility for the ownership of these buttons, you are giving others permission to mash on them whenever they like. Not convinced? Okay, lets look at an example, shall we? Youre hanging out with your girlfriend at a bar and leave her alone for a few minutes to use the restroom. On your way back you notice shes chatting with another guy and seems to be enjoying herself. You also notice that when she sees you on your way back she gets touchy with the guy, seemingly on purpose. In response, you feel jealous (even if you dont really feel jealous, stay with me because this lesson will still make sense). The easy thing to do in this situation is blame your girlfriend for making you feel jealous. She acted inappropriately, and every guy would feel jealous if his girlfriend did what she did, right? Wrong. The interpretation you assign to the event exists only
in your mind. When watching your girlfriend flirt with the other guy, you feel inferior to him because you believe he must be more attractive than you are. Since thats what you believe, thats what you see. The interpretation youve assigned to the event elicits the emotional response of jealousy. Now, imagine you assign the interpretation of my girlfriend is just trying to test me to see if Ill react to her inappropriate behavior. Her actions mean nothing about me. In fact, I view her actions as tasteless second class behavior and no longer want to be with her to the event. Would you still be jealous? Absolutely not. You may feel angry, but you certainly wouldnt feel jealous. The interpretation you assign to the event determines how you react to the event. Even if this isnt a conscious process, you are still responsible for your reactions. These days I prefer to assign the only interpretation that is absolutely true to all of the events that take place in my life. None.
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Everything just is. My judgment of a particular event as good or bad is exactly that. My judgment. Using the girlfriend example above, the only thing we know to be absolutely true about the event is that your girlfriend was sitting down talking to another guy and touching him. Any judgment we place on the event beyond that is no longer an absolute truth, but only a partial truth. Equanimity is much easier to maintain when you see events as they are. When you can do this, you will no longer take things personally, and will be able to take clear, decisive action based on the facts.
When we do this, not only do we lose sight of the invaluable lessons right in front of us. We also perpetuate the very conditions we no longer want to experience. What you resist persists, remember? Can you look into your past and identify a period of time you considered to be difficult or even horrible, but going through that time has since turned out to be a blessing? For example, between the ages of 15 and 18, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a girl. We would fight non-stop, and I eventually reached a point where I believed I was a bad person who didnt deserve good things in his life. Finally, after 3 long years together, we broke up. The relationship experience and our break up served as the catalyst of my journey toward becoming the man I am today. Without that experience, I cant say for sure if I would have gone out of my way to invest in my growth and development. The relationship, which anyone from the outside looking in wouldve labeled terrible, turned out to be the best thing thats ever happened to me in my life.
Acknowledge the Bigger Picture

Whenever were going through tough times in our lives, its easy to get down on ourselves and start wishing for something better to show up. The problem with this way of thinking, however, is that it is outcome oriented. The understanding of life as a journey has become lost underneath a sea of tumultuous emotions. Emotions that are only there because we are resisting the way things are in the present moment.
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How do you know the tough times youre going through right now wont end up being the best thing that ever happened to you five years down the line? You dont. Where in your life are you failing to acknowledge the bigger picture by resisting your present moment experience? Refrain from judging your current experience as good or bad. See this moment as it is, a piece of the bigger picture you cant fully understand just yet, and focus on learning the lessons you need to learn on this step of your journey so you can start moving forward again.
an uncontrollable bout of fury. Sometimes my rage would take the form of physical aggression. I would pick up nearby objects and break them by throwing them against the wall. Other times my rage took the form of emotional aggression, and I would verbally abuse loved ones through the use of weaponized criticism. It wasnt pretty. Then, as I described in the previous section, a turbulent long-term relationship with a girlfriend came to an end. I was in college at the time, and I was feeling hopeless because I didnt know the first thing about dating or attracting women. In addition to my hopelessness, I loathed myself and felt I was a bad person who didnt deserve good things in his life. I condemned myself to a life of loneliness. I didnt deserve another relationship. One day a few weeks later, while wallowing in selfpity, I decided I wasnt liking the life of loneliness very much anymore and decided I was going to do whatever it took to become a better man. The kind of man who deserved good things in his life. I bought eBooks and DVD programs on the subject of
Developing My Equanimity
I spent the first 18 years of my life totally asleep. I was like a piece of driftwood carried by the waves of my emotions in this direction or that direction. I had little control over where I was headed in my life. I was a guy with an extremely low flashpoint. I had little patience, and it didnt take much for me to get irritated. Every once in a while my irritation would boil into rage, and I would unleash it on the world in
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women and dating. The products I selected had very little to do with women and dating, however, and had everything to do with working on my inner game. The work was personal development oriented, and my interest in learning how to improve with women and dating quickly evolved into an interest in learning how to improve all areas of my life. Looking back now I can see how my self-loathing was a crucial ingredient to the catalyst that kicked off my journey toward becoming the man I am today. Because of it, I was drawn to products that focused on addressing the underlying issues that were causing the suboptimal results in my life, and I didnt get caught up in surface-level teachings. My learning accelerated rapidly, and I began to study more esoteric teachings of Truth. Learning these powerful Truths permanently changed the way I saw the world, and played a major role in my reformation into the man I am today. Many of the Truths I discovered along my five year journey are written in this chapter. I know if you surrender to their power you too will become a more equanimous man. How can I be so sure? Because I am no longer the impatient, irritable, and
reactionary man I once was. These days, I have an abundance of patience at my disposal, I rarely get irritated, and I experience a sense of peace even in the face of considerable amounts of chaos. Occasionally, in the most trying of circumstances, I will still experience irritation or stress. However, when this happens I accept total responsibility for my internal state and set out to examine the cause of these emotional reactions so I can develop even greater levels of equanimity. Whenever I tell people today about the man I used to be, their jaws drop in disbelief because all they can see now is the peaceful and joyous man standing in front of them. They dont see how its possible that I went from being that man to being this man. Its a night and day difference, really. All of that to say, I am not a special case. I got to where I am today by consistently applying the Truths Ive written in this chapter and throughout this book to my daily life. If you do the same, I am confident you will enjoy the same results as I have. It takes constant mindfulness and consistent hard work to develop equanimity, but once you possess an abundant quantity of this precious resource, you will truly understand to what extent the benefits of the process outweigh the effort involved.
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The Next Step

You have now taken your first five steps on the journey of mature masculinity. I respect and admire you for answering the call of becoming the man the world needs you to be. Its a path of exceptional responsibility, but one that needs to be walked by men like you if we are to leave behind the kind of world our progeny can thrive in. You inspire me, and your courage stokes the fire I need to continue walking this path. As humanity inches closer and closer toward self-destruction, men like us must come together and step into our power to shift the tides of humanitys fate in a more favorable direction. This is truly a journey that never ends, and as we all strive to become better men today than we were yesterday, we will be making the world a better place at the hands of our efforts. If you have found this book useful, please feel free to share it with whoever you think might benefit from reading it and I will be eternally grateful. Link to it on your website, send it to people via email, or print it out and give it away for free.
My hope is that this message inspires millions of men to start walking the path of mature masculinity so they can step into their power and supplant the immature-man-leadership in our world today. I am humbled and honored to have served as your guide on this journey. Thank you.
Connect with me on Twitter Connect with me on Facebook Sign up for my free newsletter to get weekly mature masculinity insights that expand upon and beyond the concepts discussed in this book, and to receive exclusive subscriber-only discounts on upcoming products. This eBook was designed by AlkemisStudio. He has given me permission to include his information here, and if youd like work done by him please contact him at info@alkemisstudio.com.
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Dedicated to Mom, Dad, Shveta, and everyone else who has supported me on my journey thus far.

You know who you are.

PREFACE 7 INTRODUCTION 9 How to Use This Book 10

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My Story , the Short V ersion

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A world where the unity of all beings is acknowledged.

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This is the path to immortality.

How to Use This Book

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What Y ou Resist Persists

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Mining the Gold

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Create an Emotional Safe Zone

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Loving the Journey

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The T ale of T wo Martial Artists

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Facing Y our Fear

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