Mel says, This is swell! But its not idealits a free, grainy PDF. Attain your ideals!

Purchase a nicer, printable PDF of this issue. Or nicest of all, subscribe to the paper version of the Annals of Improbable Research (six issues per year, delivered to your doorstep!). To purchase pretty PDFs, or to subscribe to splendid paper, go to http://www.improbable.com/magazine/

ANNALS OF

Special Issue:

Dots and Spots

Spot Research, Dot Research, Windowspotting

0 9>

74470 88921

SEPTEMBER|OCTOBER 2008 (volume 14, number 5) $6.50 US|$9.50 CAN

The journal of record for inflated research and personalities Annals of 2008 Annals of Improbable Research ISSN 1079-5146 print / 1935-6862 online

Improbable Research
617-491-4437

AIR, P.O. Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238, USA Improbable Research and Ig and the tumbled thinker logo are all reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off. FAX: 617-661-0927 www.improbable.com air@improbable.com EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu The journal of record for inated research and personalities
Commutative Editor Stanley Eigen Northeastern U. Associative Editor Mark Dionne Dissociative Editor Rose Fox Contributing Editors Otto Didact, Stephen Drew, Emil Filterbag, Karen Hopkin, Alice Kaswell, Nick Kim, Richard Lederer, Katherine Lee, Bissel Mango, Steve Nadis, Nan Swift, Tenzing Terwilliger, Marina Tsipis, Bertha Vanatian VP, Human Resources Robin Abrahams Research Researchers Kristine Danowski, Martin Gardiner, Jessica Girard, Tom Gill, Mary Kroner, Wendy Mattson, Srinivasan Rajagopalan, Tom Roberts, Naomi Uesaka,Tom Ulrich General Factotum Carrie Gallo Design and Art Geri Sullivan/PROmote Communications Lois Malone/Rich & Famous Graphics Circulation Director Barbara Andersson Circulation (Counter-clockwise) James Mahoney Webmaster Julia Lunetta General Factotum (web) Jesse Eppers Technical Eminence Grise Dave Feldman Art Director emerita Peaco Todd Webmaster emerita Amy Gorin

Co-founders Marc Abrahams Alexander Kohn Editor Marc Abrahams marca@chem2.harvard.edu Admin Lisa Birk European Bureau Kees Moeliker, Bureau Chief Natuurhistorisch Museum Rotterdam improbable@nmr.nl Steve Farrar, Edinburgh Desk Chief Erwin J.O. Kompanje Willem O. de Jongste

When all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.Sherlock Holmes Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.Richard Feynman

Improbable TV
We are pleased to introduce the Improbable Research TV series. What:  Three-minute videos about research that makes people laugh, then makes them think. Where:   On the web, at www.improbable.com and elsewhere.

Introducing

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Contents
The features marked with a star (*) are based entirely on material taken straight from standard research (and other Official and Therefore Always Correct) literature. Many of the other articles are genuine, too, but we dont know which ones.

Special Section: Dots and Spots

6 7 8 10 12 14 Dots and Spots Research Review* Alice Shirrell Kaswell Windowspotting* Helen Ahanbasket How Big, How Small* Ernest Ersatz The Inventive Inventions of Dotts* Stephen Drew Tidman and the Masquerades* Nan Swift Spots Where the Spotted Were Spotted* Stephen Drew

Improbable Research
16 18 The Tasting of the Shrew* Alice Shirrell Kaswell PubMed Goes to the Movies* Robert Pyatt

On the Front Cover

Dotted spots composed from photographs of leopards, dalmatian dogs, spotted beetles, spotted eagle rays, leopard fish, and other animals. Collage by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff.

Improbable Research Reviews*

4 5 22 28 29 30 Improbable Research Review* Dirk Manley Improbable Medical Review* Bertha Vanatian Boys Will Be Boys* Katherine Lee Soft Is Hard* Alice Shirrell Kaswell and
Bissell Mango

Footnoted in Passing* Stephen Drew May We Recommend* Stephen Drew

On the Back Cover

People atop a big plastic bubble at the Hayward Gallery, London, June 2008, photographed from within the bubble. Photo: Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff.

News & Notes

IFC 2 3 9 13 15 21 24 24 25 32 32 IBC Introducing Improbable TV AIR Vents (letters from our readers) Improbable Research Editorial Board Teachers Guide HMO-NO News: Self-Allergy Fear Alleviation! Ig Nobel Invitation Medical End Notes* Caroline Richmond Puzzling Solutions Emil Filterbag AIR books Poem: 37 Therapists* Jeremy Gorman CARTOON: Genetic Engineering Homework Nick Kim Back Issues Unclassified Ads

Coming Events
(see WWW.IMPROBABLE.COM for details of these and other events) Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony and live webcast October 2, 2008 Ig Informal Lectures October 4, 2008 American Physical Society, Dayton, Ohio October 10, 2008 Genoa Science Festival October 24, 2008 Science Friday (NPR) Ig Nobel radio broadcast November 28, 2008

Every Day
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Read something new and improbable every weekday on the Improbable Research blog, on our web site: WWW.IMPROBABLE.COM

Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 1

AIR Vents
Exhalations from our readers
Prune Juice for the Soul
Can you help me locate a book that was published about ten years ago it was very popular among scientists I wish I bought a copy then but now it seems impossible to find one but you will know where to get one if anyone will the title is Prune Juice for the Soul. Bailey R.D. Dockett Indemnification Grants Centre Great Yarmouth, East Anglia,UK

Personality Flared!
After reading so much about the famous photograph of the 1911 Solvay conference at the Hotel Metropole in Brussels, I went through my great-grandfathers files on the off chance that he had a copy. Success! Here is the photo. Its not a copy of the pristine original. Its a copy of the famous version that someone defaced by scribbling over the image of Mel. The rest of the photo is in good shape. You can clearly see many of the big guns who were in attendance: Nernst, Brillouin, Solvay himself, Lorentz, Warburg, Perrin, Wien, Curie, Poincar, Goldschmidt, Planck, Rubens, Sommerfeld, Lindemann, de Broglie, Knudsen, Hasenhrl, Hostelet, Herzen, Jeans, Rutherford, Kamerlingh, Onnes, Langevin and of course Einstein. A note on the back of the photo, in my great-grandfathers unmistakable squidgy handwriting, says that there were several versions of this grouping, and that there was considerable argument about

who sat or stood next to whom, and above or below whom, and especially of who would be in the photo. There were several versions of the photo, with individual scientists absent from some but not others. As my great-grandfathers words explain: Personality flared! Like your other correspondents, I do no know if there is any surviving photo in which Mel is visible. And my greatgrandfathers notes give no indication as to who it was who so carefully defaced every image in which Mel was present. We are approaching the hundredth anniversary of the conference. Maybe somebody can solve the mystery in time for the gala celebration. P.S. I enclose another photo from my great-grandfathers collection. It shows Ernest Solvay. Someone, maybe the same person, has defaced (so to speak) Solvays hair and beard. Robert T. Poincar Metz, France

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Additionally: Made in Elsewhere

Delarians study Made in Elsewhere (in AIR 13:7) was an eye-opener. Here are two examples to add to her collection: Englands Glory brand matches are proudly advertised as being made in Sweden. American Mills brand wash clothes are proudly advertised to the accompaniment of a drawing of the American flag as being made in Pakistan. I obtained these during travels in those very strange lands England and the U.S.A. Raul David Macri, Ph.D. Ushuaia, Argentina

Origin of the Specious

An ornithologist friend of mine sent this note to me, and I, who prefer a peaceful life, pass it on to you: A few years back I received an anonymous call from a pay phone in downtown Manhattan. A rabbinical student (perhaps 30 years old) was trying to confirm all the ornithological references in the Old Testament, plus some of his notions about the meaning of life and the moment of death. The student first wanted to know if fish were (completely) dead before herons swallowed them. The ghastly truth precipitated a frenzied cascade of follow-up

Lint on the Brain

Does anyone have suggestions for cleaning lint off a sculpture made of silicone rubber? We have a small, life-like sculpture of a brain in our collection;

and Im having a difficult time removing some lint and dust from the intricate crevasses. Ive tried a tiny vacuum, but the lints quite stubborn and the rubber is rather tacky. Thank you in advance. Enny Susanto, Curator Jember Museum of Natural Science Jember, East Java, Indonesia

questions. Every three minutes the operator would prompt the increasingly agitated caller for a handful of quarters. Angry people waiting for the phone were swearing loudly in the background. After 18 minutes he ran out of quarters. A week later to the very minute, I took another blind call....the same guy from the same phone booth. This time he wanted to know (shouting over traffic noise and swearing in the background) why nestling cuckoos were black (perhaps avatars of Satan) and whether or not they made ill-intended flights to heaven. This guy was clearly on holiday from some distant planet, but at least he provided some context. After that call, I told our secretary to screen the calls more thoroughly and to refer blind calls from Manhattan phone booths to the Ornithology Department at the American Museum of Natural History. Dr. Phyllis Yalnkaya Brooklyn, NY

Annals of

Improbable Research Editorial Board

Anthropology Jonathan Marks, U. North Carolina Archaeology Angela E. Close, U. Washington Astrochemistry Scott Sandford, NASA/Ames Astronomy Robert Kirshner, Harvard U. Jay M. Pasachoff, Williams Coll. Eric Schulman, Alexandria, Virginia David Slavsky. Loyola U., Chicago Biochemistry Edwin Krebs*, U. Washington Biology Dany Adams, Forsyth Center Lawrence Dill*******, Simon Fraser U. Biomaterials Alan S. Litsky, Ohio State U. Biophysics Leonard X. Finegold, Drexel U. Biotechnology A. Stephen Dahms, Alfred E. Mann Foundation Bureaucracy Miriam Bloom, SciWrite, Jackson, MS Cardiology Thomas Michel*****, Harvard Med. School Chemistry Dudley Herschbach*, Harvard U. William Lipscomb*, Harvard U. Computer Science Dennis Frailey, Texas Instruments, Plano, TX Robert T. Morris***, MIT Margo Seltzer, Harvard U. Economics Ernst W. Stromsdorfer, Washington St. U. Engineering Dean Kamen, DEKA Research Food Research Massimo Marcone, U. of Guelph Forensic Biology & Criminalistics Mark Benecke, Intl Forensic Res., Kln Functional Biology & Morphology Frank Fish, West Chester U. Rebecca German, Johns Hopkins U. Richard Wassersug*******, Dalhousie U. Genetics Michael Hengartner, U. of Zrich Geology John C. Holden, Omak, WA John Splettstoesser, Waconia, MN History of Science & Medicine Tim Healey, Barnsley, England Immunology Falk Fish, Orgenics, Ltd., Yavne, Israel Infectious Diseases James Michel*****, Harvard U. Intelligence Marilyn Vos Savant**, New York, NY Law William J. Maloney, New York, NY Ronald A. May, Little Rock, AR Library & Info Sciences Regina Reynolds, Library of Congress George Valas, Budapest, Hungary Norman D. Stevens, U. of Connecticut Materials Science Robert M. Rose, MIT Mathematics Lee Segel, Weizmann Inst. Medical Ethics Erwin J.O. Kompanje, Erasmus MC University, Rotterdam Methodology Rod Levine, National Insts of Health Microbiology Roland G. Vela, U. North Texas Molecular Biology Walter Gilbert*, Harvard U. Richard Roberts*, New England Biolabs Molecular Pharmacology Lloyd Fricker, Einstein Coll. of Medicine Neuroengineering Jerome Lettvin, MIT Neurology Thomas D. Sabin, Tufts U. Ornithology Kees Moeliker*******, Natuurhistorisch Museum Rotterdam Obstetrics & Gynecology Pek van Andel*******, Medical Faculty Groningen, The Netherlands Eberhard W. Lisse, Swakopmund State Hospital, Namibia Orthopedic Surgery Glenn R. Johnson, Bemidji, MN Paleontology Sally Shelton, South Dakota Museum of Geology Earle Spamer, American Philosophical Society, Philadelphia, PA Parasitology Wendy Cooper, Australian Pest & Vet. Med. Auth. Pediatrics Ronald M. Mack, Bowman Gray School of Med. Pharmacology Stanton G. Kimmel, Normal, OK Philosophy George Englebretson, Bishops U., Quebec

* Nobel Laureate Physics ** worlds highest IQ Len Fisher*******, Bristol U., UK *** convicted felon Jerome Friedman*, MIT **** misspelled Sheldon Glashow*, ***** sibling rivalry Boston U. ****** six stars Karl Kruszelnicki*******, ******* Ig Nobel Winner U. Sydney Harry Lipkin, Weizmann Inst. Douglas Osheroff*, Stanford U. Frank Wilczek*, MIT Political Science Richard G. Neimi****, Rochester, NY Psychiatry and Neurology Robert Hoffman, Daly City, CA Psychology Louis G. Lippman, Western Wash. U. G. Neil Martin, Middlesex U., UK Chris McManus*******, University Coll. London Neil J. Salkind, U. of Kansas Pulmonary Medicine Traian Mihaescu, Iasi, Romania Radiology David Rabin, Highland Park Hosp., IL Science Policy Al Teich, American Assn for the Advancement of Science Stochastic Processes (selected at random from amongst our subscribers) Junkan Song, Arnhem, the Netherlands Women's Health Andrea Dunaif, Northwestern U. JoAnn Manson, Brigham & Women's Hosp.

A Guide to the Stars

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 3

Improbable Research Review

Improbable theories, experiments, and conclusions
compiled by Dirk Manley, Improbable Research staff

The Tangle That is Happy Birthday

Copyright and the Worlds Most Popular Song, Robert Brauneis, George Washington University Law School Legal Studies Research Paper No. 1111624, 2008. (Thanks to Roz Wilkin for bringing this to our attention.) Happy Birthday to You is the best-known and most frequently sung song in the world. Manyincluding Justice Breyer in his dissent in Eldred v. Ashcrofthave portrayed it as an unoriginal work that is hardly worthy of copyright protection, but nonetheless remains under copyright. Yet close historical scrutiny reveals both of those assumptions to be false. The song that became Happy Birthday to You, originally written with different lyrics as Good Morning to All, was the product of intense creative labor, undertaken with copyright protection in mind. However, it is almost certainly no longer under copyright, due to a lack of evidence about who wrote the words; defective copyright notice; and a failure to file a proper renewal application. The falsity of the standard story about the song demonstrates the dangers of relying on anecdotes without thorough research and analysis. It also We welcome your suggestions for this and other columns. Please enclose the full citation (no abbreviations!) and, if possible, a copy of the paper.

reveals collective action barriers to mounting challenges to copyright validity: the song generates an estimated $2 million per year, and yet no one has ever sought adjudication of the validity of its copyright.

Obscure, Old, Presumably Once Delicious

First Archaeozoological Evidence for Haimation, the Invisible Garum, Wim Van Neera and S. Thomas Parker, Journal of Archaeological Science, vol. 35, no. 7, July 2008, pp. 18217, DOI:10.1016/j.jas.2007.11.021. (Thanks to Tom Gill for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, affiliated variously with the Belgian Institute of Natural Sciences, with Katholieke Universiteit Leuven, and with North Carolina State University, report: The fish remains are described that were found at the bottom of an Early Roman ceramic jar from Aila Aqaba, Jordan. The bones, representing the gill apparatuses of at least 33 medium-sized tunas (Auxis; Scombridae) and a single individual of a lizardfish (Trachinocephalus myops; Synodontidae), are believed to correspond to haimation. This highly prized fish sauce, documented previously only from ancient textual evidence, was typically made from the gills and the entrails of tunnids to which salt was added.
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Improbable Medical Review

Improbable diagnoses, techniques, and research
compiled by Bertha Vanatian, Improbable Research staff

Weighing Advice and Advisors

Does Physician Weight Affect Perception of Health Advice? Robert B. Hash, Rana K. Munna, Robert L. Vogel and James J. Bason, Preventive Medicine, vol. 36, no. 1, January 2003, pp. 414. The authors, who are variously at Mercer University School of Medicine, Atlanta Medical Center, and University of Georgia, report that: Significant differences were found for patient receptiveness to counseling for treatment of illness and health advice, with the patients of nonobese physicians indicating greater confidence scores.

Shopping Bag Injuries 2

Digital Artery Occlusion Secondary to Plastic Shopping Bag Trauma, R. Joy, J.L. Isaacs and R.J. McCarthy, Annals of the Royal College of Surgeons of England, vol. 89, no. 6, 2007, pp. W113. (Thanks to Adrian Smith for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, at Torbay Hospital, Torquay, U.K., report: Upper limb digital arterial occlusion is uncommon. We present the case of a 47-year-old man with an ischaemic right middle finger (dominant hand) due to trauma from carrying a heavy plastic shopping bag. Duplex scanning revealed no proximal source of emboli. An angiogram demonstrated occlusions in the medial and lateral digital arteries of the middle digit at the level of the proximal phalanx. Treatment with heparin and warfarin resulted in complete resolution of symptoms.

What to Do With the Bean from a Patients Ear

What to Do with the Bean from a Patients Ear, R. Crawshaw, Archives of Internal Medicine, vol. 131, no. 2, February 1973, pp. 2789. (Thanks to Scott McDaniel and Eric Schulman for bringing this to our attention.)

Shopping Bag Injuries 1

Spinal Strain From Shopping Bags With and Without Handles, A.K. Burton, Applied Ergonomics, vol. 17, no. 1, March 1986, pp. 1923. (Thanks to Wilma Attenborough for bringing this to our attention.) The author, at the Osteopathic Association of Great Britain in Huddersfield, reports: Electromyography has been used to study the effects on right and left lumbar and suprascapular muscle activity resulting from carrying groceries in shopping bags with handles (British) and without handles (American). The results showed that the load on these structures is lower and significantly more evenly distributed with the American bag ( [Formula: see text] ), but there is a group of carriers whose lumbar muscle activity is not imbalanced by the British bag. It is suggested that the design of the British shopping bag be reconsidered to enable it to be carried clutched to the body.

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Dots and Spots Research Review

compiled by Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Improbable Research staff

Small advances in our understanding of dots and of spots

Spots and Flecks
Differential Diagnosis of Dots, Flecks, and Specks of the Fundus, Howard Schatz, Robert N. Johnson and H. Richard McDonald, Retina, vol. 12, no. 1, 1992, p. 67.

On Dotty Letters
On Dotty Letters, Stewart Britten, Nature, vol. 299, September 9, 1982, p. 102. The author begins by saying: It gives your readers, I suppose, some light relief when you publish a dotty letter on improbable ways of achieving peace in our time.

Spots and Dots

Ladybugs of Alberta: Finding the Spots and Connecting the Dots, John Acorn, University of Alberta Press, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, 2007, ISBN 978-0-88864-381-0.

Dots and Spots

Dots and Spots, Orlando Frizado, Scholastic, 2002, ISBN 0439403812.

Spots and Dots and Stripes

Dots, Spots, Speckles, and Stripes, Tana Hoban, Greenwillow Books, 1987, ISBN 0688068626.

Polka Dots
Visual Evaluation of Polka-dot Patterns, Yoojin Lee and Nobuko Naruse, Journal of Home Economics of Japan, vol. 52, no, 6, 2001, pp. 53343. The authors, at Bunka Womens University, report: Up to the present time, there have not been many studies carried out to determine an effective method for systematical conditional setting for polka-dot patterns, because most previous studies have used commercial printed polka-dot patterns. Therefore, we prepared thirty samples with different patterns.

Many Dots
A Million Dots, Andrew Clements, Mike Reed, Simon & Schuster, 2006, ISBN 0689858248.

Dots for Teachers

Teachers Guide to Organization of Dots, Reuven Feuerstein, Mildred B. Hoffman, Pearson Professional Development, 1995, ISBN 0932935877.

Data from the study Visual Evaluation of Polka-dot Patterns.

Further data from the study Visual Evaluation of Polka-dot Patterns.

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Windowspotting

A medical look at a new British pastime

by Helen Ahanbasket, Improbable Research staff
In the June 28, 2008 issue of BMJ (the publication formerly known as the British Medical Journal) Barrie Smith, a retired physician from Birmingham, describesthough he does not namea new form of the grand British tradition of otting. The proper name for it is obvious to anyone who reads Dr. Smiths description: windowspotting. The best known of otting traditions is trainspotting. Some British citizens also practice planespotting, busspotting (a practice that now draws disapproval from the British Government, which views bus spotters as being possible terrorist spies) and other varieties of otting. These may all be descended from the ancient practice of bird spotting, also known as bird watching. Here is the beginning of the Dr. Smiths description, the first ever to appear in a medical publication, of windowspotting: Why so many open windows? The BMJ is to be congratulated on repeatedly returning to the topic of measures to combat climate change, and encouraging doctors to take an interest in the issues. Preventing unnecessary fuel usage is important not only in combating global warming but it also leads to financial gains. On 28 February I paid a visit to a local general hospital (500 beds plus) to count the number of open windows in all areasthere were 358. The building is some 30 years old. Most of the original windows were replaced with double glazed ones some years ago. I have difficulty working out how effective the double glazing is when the windows are open. On Good Friday (21 March) I visited a friend in a surgical block at another hospitalon one face of the block I counted 40 open windows. At yet another hospital on Easter Monday, a particularly chilly day, there were 208 open windowssome were high up in corridors, and I suspect that they had been open for years. A hospital with even more windows. A hospital with many windows.

Hospital windows under construction.

Reference
Why So Many Open Windows? Barrie Smith, BMJ, vol. 336, June 28, 2008, p. 1454, DOI:10.1136/bmj.39619.621736.3A

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How Big, How Small

Small: Whale
Calculating Just How Small a Whale Can Be, Jerry F. Downhower and Lawrence S. Blumer, Nature, vol. 335, no. 675, October 20, 1988, p. 675, DOI:10.1038/335675b0. The authors are at Ohio State University and at Kenyon College, Gambier, Ohio. A photograph of a small part of a large whale. Photo: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

A quick look at a small sample of the voluminous research on size

compiled by Ernest Ersatz, Improbable Research staff

A small part of that photograph of a small part of a large whale. Photo: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

Big: Hand
How Big Is a Hand?, N.D. Rossiter, P. Chapman and I.A. Haywood, Burns, vol. 22, no. 3, May 1996, pp. 2301, DOI:10.1016/0305-4179(95)00118-2. The authors, who are at Queen Elizabeth Military Hospital, Woolwich, London, UK, report: Exactly what constitutes the palm of the hand and how large an area this is, depends on whether you follow Advanced Trauma Life Support teaching, United Kingdom teaching, or use a Lund and Browder chart. A study was designed to measure the areas in question to find which was most accurate. The conclusions challenge standard teaching and show a sex difference. The area of the palm alone is 0.5 per cent BSA in males and 0.4 per cent BSA in females, whereas the area of the palm plus the palmar surface of the five digits is 0.8 per cent BSA in males and 0.7 per cent BSA in females.

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Small: Cloud
How Small Is a Small Cloud? I.Koren, L.Oreopoulos, G.Feingold, L.A.Remer and O.Altaratz, Atmospheric Chemistry and Physics, vol. 8, 2008, pp. 6379-407. (Thanks to Tom Gill for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, who are variously at the Weizmann Institute, Rehovot, Israel, at University of Maryland, Baltimore, at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center, Greenbelt, Maryland, and at NOAA Earth System Research Laboratory, Boulder, Colorado, report: Here we examine the size distribution and the optical properties of small, sparse cumulus clouds and the associated optical properties of what is considered a cloud-free atmosphere within the cloud field....

The nature of small cumulus cloud size distributions suggests that at any resolution, a significant fraction of the clouds are missed, and their optical properties are relegated to the apparent cloud-free optical properties. At the same time, the cloudy portion incorporates significant contribution from noncloudy pixels.

Small: Ball
How Small Is a Unit Ball? David J. Smith and Mavina K. Vamanamurthy, Mathematics Magazine, vol. 62, no. 2, April 1989, pp. 1017.

AIR Teachers Guide

Three out of five teachers agree: curiosity is a dangerous thing, especially in students. If you are one of the other two teachers, AIR and mini-AIR can be powerful tools. Choose your favorite hAIR-raising article and give copies to your students. The approach is simple. The scientist thinks that he (or she, or whatever), of all people, has discovered something about how the universe behaves. So: Is this scientist rightand what does right mean, anyway? Can you think of even one different explanation that works as well or better? Did the test really, really, truly, unquestionably, completely test what the author thought he was testing? Is the scientist ruthlessly honest with himself about how well his idea explains everything, or could he be suffering from wishful thinking? Some people might say this is foolish. Should you take their word for it? Other people might say this is absolutely correct and important. Should you take their word for it?

Kids are naturally good scientists. Help them stay that way.

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The Inventive Inventions of Dotts

A look back at an ovoidal innovation and other work
compiled by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff
The name of inventor Hiram S. Dotts is now less well known that it once was. So, too, are his inventions, two of whichperhaps Dottss most enduringly influentialare described here.

Dottss Egg-Opener
Be it known that I, HIRAM S. DOTTS, a citizen of the United States, residing at Thoburn, in the county of Marion, State of West Virginia, have invented certain new and useful Improvements in Egg-Openers, of which the following is a specification. So begins the text to U.S. patent #696,016, granted March 25, 1902 to Hiram S. Dotts. Mr. Dottss description, despite dealing with a subject of great technical complexity, is nearly poetical. Dotts (and/or his lawyer, E.B. Stocking) reduces the device, and its place in the world, to just 41 words: This invention relates to eggopeners, and to particularly to a construction embodying jaws movable in their relation to each other and toward an egg in order to fracture the shell thereof upon a peripheral line extending in a single horizontal plane.

Detail from the patent for Dottss improved egg-opener.

The patent for Dottss improved egg-opener.

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Dottss Cigar-Tip-Protecting-Label Innovation

Just over thirteen years later, on December 7, 1915, Dotts received a patent for a device in an almost wholly different field of endeavor. In his words (and/or those of his attorney, E.B. Stocking): Be it known that I, HIRAM S. DOTTS, a citizen of the United States, residing at Marianna, in the county of Washington and State of Pennsylvania, have invented certain new and useful Improvements in Cigar-TipProtecting Labels, of which the following is a specification, reference being had therein to the accompanying drawing. This invention relates to certain new and useful improvements in cigar tip-protecting labels, the object being to provide a combination tip protector and label so constructed that the label will be held in position on the cigar by the tip protector.

The patent for Dottss improved cigar-tip-protecting-label technology.

Dottss Legacy
However well Dotts was known to the public during his lifetime, his fame is now surpassed by that of other inventors, many of whom knew or know little or nothing firsthand about how to make improvements on egg-openers or cigartip-protecting-labels. It is possible that readers of this article will rectify or perpetuate this state of affairs.

Detail from the patent for Dottss improved cigar-tip-protecting-label technology.

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Tidman and the Masquerades

by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff
Dr. Michael J. Tidman of the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh NHS Trust asks questions that have never been asked, at least Dr. Michael J. Tidman. so overtly and with such precise Drawing by Nan Swift, language. He aims to unmask Improbable Research poseurs of a particular type: staff. dermatological ailments that present in such a way that a person might presume them to be something other than what they really are. Here are three especially provocative studies Dr. Tidman and his colleagues have penned and published.

Is Pemphigoid Excorie Bullous Pemphigoid?

Pemphigoid Excorie: A Further Variant of Bullous Pemphigoid? S.J.R. Allan and M.J. Tidman, British Journal of Dermatology, vol. 141, no. 3, 1999, pp. 58586, DOI:10.1046/j.1365-2133.1999.03072.x. This is one of the few medical studies that uses the term acnestis, which, according to the 1906 edition of Lippincotts Medical Dictionary (by Ryland W. Greene and Joseph Thomas, published by Lippincott), means that part of the back which one cannot readily scratch; the upper part of the back.

Factitious Masquerading
Factitious Panniculitis Masquerading as Pyoderma Gangrenosum, C.C.Y. Oh, D.B. McKenna, K.M. McLaren and M.J. Tidman, Clinical and Experimental Dermatology, vol. 30, no. 3, May 2005, pp. 2535. The definition of acnestis as it appears in the 1906 edition of Lippincotts Medical Dictionary.

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Non-Factitious Masquerading
Primary Cutaneous Mucormycosis Masquerading as Pyoderma Gangrenosum, O.A. Kerr, C. Bong, C. Wallis and M.J. Tidman, British Journal of Dermatology, vol. 150, no. 6, June 2004, pp. 12123.

HMO-NO News
Health care advice to pass on to your patients

Self-Allergy Fear Alleviation!

Although seldom mentioned in public, some patients fear that they are or will become allergic to themselves. In some patients, a related condition is seen: these patients fear that they are not and will never become allergic to themselves. In most cases, the condition is purely psychological. Under our HMO-NO Self De-Fearment TM program, physicians will assess* the degree to which each self-allergy-fearing patient is allergic to herself or himself, and the degree to which the patient is fearful of developing an allergy to herself or himself or to not developing an allergy to herself or himself. Results of the evaluation will be shared with the patient,* or not,* depending on the patients fear level and on the degree to which she or he is allergic to herself or himself. * Fees apply.

HMO-NO
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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 13

Spots Where the Spotted Were Spotted

by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff
Here are two maps of the state of Kansas. Each map is filled with spots. In figure 1, each spot marks a county in which the spotted sandpiper has been spotted. In figure 4, each spot marks a county in which the spotted towhee has been spotted. Both maps were prepared by the Kansas County Checklist Project. Their work, they say, is intended to reflect the current records of bird sightings on file, somewhere, for each county. It is hoped that birders will print out these lists, use them in their birdwatching trips and report bird sightings not on the list to the appropriate individuals/organizations. Much of projects data is available on the web at www.ksbirds.org/checklist/maps/County_records.htm.

Figure 2. A spotted sandpiper. Drawing from Handbook of Birds of Eastern North America by Frank Michler Chapman, D. Appleton and Co., 1900. Figure 1. Counties in which the spotted sandpiper has been spotted.

Figure 4. Counties in which the spotted towhee has been spotted. Figure 3. A spotted towhee. Drawing: Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff.

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You Are Invited to the

Thursday evening, October 2, 2008 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University
Tickets go on sale August 1 at the Harvard Box Office. Webcast live The 2008 crop of Ig Nobel Prize winners will be revealed.
(And join them, too, for the Ig Informal Lectures, at MIT, on Saturday, October 4.)

The winners and other ceremony participants prepare to take a bow at the conclusion to the 2004 Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Photo: Eric Workman / Improbable Research.

Ig

The 18th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony

Details at
www.improbable.com

www.improbable.com/ig
Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 15

The Tasting of the Shrew

by Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Improbable Research staff
If you like shrews, especially if you like them parboiled, youll want to devour a study published not long ago in the Journal of Archaeological Science. Called Human Digestive Effects on a Micromammalian Skeleton, it explains how and why one of its authorseither Brian D. Crandall or Peter W. Stahl; we are not told whichate and excreted a 90 millimeter long (excluding the tail, which added another 24 millimeters) northern short-tailed shrew (Blarina brevicauda). This was, in technical terms, a preliminary study of human digestive effects on a small insectivore skeleton, with a brief discussion of the results and their archaeological implications. Crandall and Stahl are anthropologists at the State University of New York in Binghamton. The shrew was a local specimen, procured via snap trapping at an unspecified location not far from the school. For the experiments input, preparation was exacting. After being skinned and eviscerated, the report says, the carcass was

A northern short-tailed shrew (Blarina brevicauda). Drawing by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff.

lightly boiled for approximately 2 minutes and swallowed without mastication in hind and forelimb, head, and body and tail portions. Heres how Crandall and Stahl handled the output: Faecal matter was collected for the following 3 days. Each faeces was stirred in a pan of warm water until completely disintegrated. This solution was then decanted through a quadruple-layered cheesecloth mesh. Sieved contents were

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rinsed with a dilute detergent solution and examined with a hand lens for bone remains. They then examined the most interesting bits with a scanning electron microscope, at magnifications ranging from 10 to 1000 times. A shrew has lots of bony parts. All of them entered Crandalls gullet, or maybe Stahls, but despite extraordinary efforts to find and account for each bone at journeys end, many went missing. One of the major jawbones disappeared. So did four of the 12 molar teeth, several of the major leg and foot bones, nearly all of the toe bones, and all but one of the 31 vertebrae. And the skull, reputedly a very hard chunk of bone, emerged with what the report calls significant damage. The vanishing startled the scientists. They emphasize that this meal was simply gulped down: The shrew was ingested without chewing; any damage occurred as the remains were processed internally. Mastication undoubtedly damages bone, but the effects of this process are perhaps repeated in the acidic, churning environment of the stomach. Chewing is clearly only part of the story. In each little heap of remains from ancient meals, there be mystery aplenty. Prior to this experiment, archaeologists had to, and did, make all kinds of assumptions about the animal bones they dug upespecially as to what those partial skeletons might indicate about the people who presumably consumed them. Crandall and Stall, through their disciplined lack of mastication, have given their colleagues something hard to chew over.

Reference
Human Digestive Effects on a Micromammalian Skeleton, Brian D. Crandall and Peter W. Stahl, Journal of Archaeological Science, vol. 22, 1995, pp. 78997. (Thanks to Michael L. Begeman for bringing this to our attention.)

Micrographs from the study, showing some of the bone fragments that survived passage through one of the authors. Detail from the study about which portions of the shrew were recovered after one of the authors ate and then excreted them.
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | MarchApril 2008 | vol. 14, no. 2 | 17

PubMed Goes to the Movies!

Why see the film when you can read the article?
by Robert E. Pyatt Ph.D. Assistant Laboratory Director Nationwide Childrens Hospital Columbus, Ohio
This is a comparison of classic films and science articlesthat sharethe same name. The movie facts come from the Internet Movie Database (www.IMDB.com). Information about the science articles comes from the U.S. National Library of Medicines PubMed database (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/).

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966) Starring Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef. Directed by Sergio Leone. Spaghetti Western set against the backdrop of the Civil War where 3 men, the good (Eastwood), the bad (Van Cleef), and the ugly (Wallach), race to uncover a hidden stash of Confederate gold. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (with Apologies to Sergio Leone) M.V. Connelly, Facial Plastic Surgery Clinics of North America, vol. 16, no. 2, May 2008 pp. 17982. Tales of a plastic surgery practice set in a small city including the good (well informed patients who follow all pre and post-op instructions and are thoroughly pleased with the postoperative results), the bad (patients who bring you grief and perhaps damage your reputation), and the ugly (disparaging remarks from another surgeon in your area).

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A Night at the Opera

A Night at the Opera (1935) Starring the Marx Brothers and Kitty Carlisle. Directed by Sam Wood. The Marx Brothers take on high society as the boys help two opera singers find fame and true love. A Night at the Opera [no author listed] Mental Health Today,October 2005, pp. 10-1. Touching and comedic tale of Streetwise Opera, a company which designs, stages, and performs operas with a combination of professional performers and homeless people.

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 19

Bambi Meets Godzilla

Bambi Meets Godzilla (1969) Written and directed by Marv Newland. Animated short featuring the first silver screen pairing of two of Hollywoods most memorable creatures with the expected tragic consequences. Psychotherapy Research Evidence and Reimbursement Decisions: Bambi Meets Godzilla M.B. Parloff, American Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 139, no. 6, June 1986, pp.71827. Like a tender doe standing in a sunny forest glen, policy guiding reimbursement issues for mental health care faces off against the gargantuan research evidence of psychotherapy outcome. Eerily similar ending to its big screen counterpart.

Saturday Night Fever

Saturday Night Fever (1977) Starring John Travolta and Karen Lynn Gorney. Directed by John Badham. The tribal rites of the new Saturday night. Two New Yorkers, Tony (Travolta) and Stephanie (Gorney), discover passion, maturity, and themselves as they disco dance across Manhattan. Saturday Night Fever: A Common Source Outbreak of Rubella Among Adults in Hawaii J.S. Marks, M.K. Serdula, N.A. Halsey, M.V. Gunaratne, R.B. Craven, K.A. Murphy, G.Y. Kobayashi and N.H. Wiebenga, American Journal of Epidemiology, vol. 114, no. 4, October 1981, pp. 57483. Its a whole other kind of fever on this Saturday night as a rubella outbreak infects young adults, with the common place of exposure being a discotheque. Evidence suggests that the virus source was a piano player/singer at the club and that transmission was airborne, rather than person to person, and occurred during his singing.

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Medical End Notes

by Caroline Richmond, medical obituarist, London, U.K. drawings by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff

Fun bits from doctors obituaries

Oscar Ratnoff
Oscar Ratnoff, who identified clotting factor 12 and unraveled the sequence of reactions that take place when blood clots, was a prolific punster. He wrote thus to the editor of a learned journal: Dear Sir, I read with pleasure Scott F Gilberts paean to punning in the autumn issue of Perspectives in Biology and Medicine (vol. 28, p. 148). But, alas, one of his examples was misspoken. The reluctant person who would not join the surfers really said, He also surfs who only stands and wades. [Quoted in an obituary in Transactions of the Association of American Physicians, vol. 101, 1988, pp. cxxxiv-cliv.]

Peter Robson
I doubt I will ever see another obit as outspoken as this: Consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist South Tyneside Hospital 1992-2000(b Rushden, Northamptonshire, 1946; q Newcastle upon Tyne 1975; MRCOG), d 28April 2001.... Most people who knew Peter described him as hotheaded and ruthless. They were not far wrong. He always spoke his mind; furthermore, he did it first and he did it loudly. He leaves a wife, Sharon, and three children. [From the obituary by Dr. Raj Naik and Sharon Robson, published in BMJ, vol. 323, 2001, p. 811.]

Gunther Stent
Also of note is Dr. Gunther Stent, described as an early researcher in molecular biology. He changed his name from Stensch, and who can blame him? [Dr. Stents obituary appeared in The New York Times, June 16, 2008.]

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 21

Boys Will Be Boys

Research by and for adolescent males of all ages and sexes
compiled by Katherine Lee, Improbable Research staff

Who Looks Where How Often

Gender Differences for Specific Body Regions When Looking at Men and Women, Johannes Hewig, Ralf H. Trippe, Holger Hecht, Thomas Straube and Wolfgang H.R. Miltner, Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, vol. 32, no. 2, June 2008, pp. 6778, DOI:10.1007/s10919-007-0043-5. (Thanks to Nicole Bordes for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, at Friedrich-Schiller-Universitt Jena, Germany, report: The goal of the present study was to provide first evidence for gender differences in gaze patterns while looking at the body of men and women. For this purpose participants were exposed to 30 pictures of 15 male and 15 female models in casual clothing. The individual scan paths were recorded using an eye-tracker. The results show that both male and female observers primarily gaze at peoples face. Only after this initial face-scan, men look significantly earlier and longer at womens breasts, while women look earlier at mens legs. These observations uncover important aspects of the pattern of the human gaze at others and particularly reveal important gender differences.

Better Never Than Late

An Extreme Case of Necrophilia, E. Ehrlich, M.A. Rothschild, F. Pluisch and V. Schneider, Legal Medicine, vol. 2, no. 4, December 2000, pp. 2246. (Thanks to D.V. Klimpt for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, at Freie Universitt Berlin, Germany, explain: This report presents the case of a young man legally convicted twice on a charge of defiling the dead. All necrophilic acts were committed over a period of around 15 years.... In three cases, the perpetrator skinned the trunk of the corpses, placed the skin on his naked body and stimulated himself sexually. In several cases, he also used burial clothes that he had removed from the coffins and kept at home.
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A snippet from the study Gender Differences for Specific Body Regions When Looking at Men and Women.

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Girls Will Beguile Girls

Social Chemosignals from Breastfeeding Women Increase Sexual Motivation, Natasha A. Spencer, Martha K. McClintock, Sarah A. Sellergren, Susan Bullivant, Suma Jacob and Julie A. Mennella, Hormones and Behavior, vol. 46, no. 3, September 2004, pp. 36270. The authors, variously at The University of Chicago, Chicago and at Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia, report: There is no extant evidence that humans produce social chemosignals that affect human sexual motivation or reproductive behavior as occurs in other mammals. Here, we demonstrate that natural compounds collected from lactating women and their breastfeeding infants increased the sexual motivation of other women, measured as sexual desire and fantasies. Moreover, the manifestation of increased sexual motivation was different in women with a regular sexual partner. Those with a partner experienced enhanced sexual desire, whereas those without one had more sexual fantasies.

Octoberfest Surprise
Intestinal Obstruction After Ingestion of a Beer-Filled Condom at the Munich Octoberfest, Stephan J. Ott, Thomas Helmberger and Ulrich Beuers, American Journal of Gastroenterology, vol. 98, no. 2, February 2003, pp.5123. (Thanks to Hein Wass for bringing this to our attention.)

A snippet from the study Intestinal Obstruction After Ingestion of a Beer-Filled Condom at the Munich Octoberfest.

Word of the Day: Klismaphilia

KlismaphiliaA Physiological Perspective, Jeremy Agnew, American Journal of Psychotherapy, vol. 36, no. 4, October 1982, pp. 55466. Dr. Joanne Denko coined the work [sic] klismaphilia to describe the practices of some of her patients who enjoyed the use of enemas as a sexual stimulant. Since then questions occasionally appear in the professional literature asking about the relationship between enemas and sexual pleasure. This paper considers some of the physiological aspects... The paper concludes with a brief discussion of masked anal masturbation among the population at large. A comprehensive list of references from the literature is given to support these findings.

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 23

Puzzling Solutions
Solution to Last Months Puzzler
by Emil Filterbag, Improbable Research staff

Simply sew the head back on.

Ig Nobel & Improbable Research BOOKS!

The worlds most untranslatable books have (some of them) been translated into CHINESE, GERMAN, ITALIAN, SPANISH, JAPANESE, DUTCH, POLISH, FRENCH, and other languages including, to some extent, the original ENGLISH. The newest: The Man Who Tried to Clone Himself. Get them in bookstores or online via www.improbable.com or at other fine and even not-so-fine e-bookstores.

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37 Therapists
by Jeremy Gorman Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada Drawings by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff

One day when I was wondering just what was wrong with me, I thought to ask some experts in whats called psychology. Beginning with the founders of the psychologic arts, I went to Wundt and Titchener, who broke me into parts. John Dewey proved more functional, and Peirce was quite pragmatic, but Ebbinghauss learning curve was steep as stairs-to-attic. I asked Will James, How much to tell me what is best for me? He told me, You must give yourself. Wow. Quite the session fee. John Watson soon got wind of this, and, not to be outdone, said Give to me a dozen kids. I had not even one! And so I went to Festinger, who told me my cognition was dissonant, though Erikson did not take that position. A crisis of identity was what he said I had. And so I asked, What therapy will make my mind less mad? Carl Rogers spoke. Why, client-centered! Best thing ever tried! I then asked Perls. Gestalt, he said. Gesundheit, I replied. Said Ernest Jones, No, talk it out! Thats how to be relieved! Said Allport, No, you just need love! Both given and received. It seemed that there was no consensus on just what was good, and so I tracked down every damn psychologist I could.

continued > > >

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 25

Al Adler said I compensate by doing silly deeds. Piaget and I then played with toys while Maslow ranked my needs. Carl Jung said its my archetype that likes to play the fool. Bandura made me play the bully. Pavlov made me drool. Binet said my I.Q. explains how others have outfoxed me, while Loftus showed me crashing cars, and B.F. Skinner boxed me. I didnt take too well to that, and pouted, kind of sooked, like. Then Eysenck spilled his PEN, and Rorschach asked me what it looked like. Joe Wolpe cured my phobia, and now I fear no snake. Moniz said, May I pick your brain? Okay, I said. Mistake! Though I was not lobotomized, I barely got away to track down all the others, and to see what they would say.

McClelland said my high n-Ach is why Im such a wonk. Cattell then told me who Id like, and Kinsey, who Id bonk. Ed Thorndike said were much like beasts that graze upon savannahs, while Kohler made me pile some crates and gave me some bananas. I learned of joy from Rollo May, and love from Erich Fromm. I learned that Harlows terry cloth was really not my mom. Zimbardo gave me charge of all the students in his cells. With Milgram, though, I had to give the charge to someone else.

And so I find the question of whats wrong is no less muddy. The DSM, well, seems to be describing everybody. So since I dont know what to do from what Ive learned so far, I guess its back to Freud. Hey, I could use a good cigar.

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Citations
Wundt: Outlines of Psychology, W.M. Wundt (C.H. Judd, trans.), Wilhelm Engelmann, 1897 Wundt/Outlines. Titchener: The Postulates of a Structural Psychology, E.B. Titchener, Philosophical Review, vol. 7, 1898, pp. 44965. Dewey: The New Psychology, J. Dewey, Andover Review, vol. 2, 1884, pp. 27889. Peirce: How to Make Our Ideas Clear, C.S. Peirce, Popular Science Monthly, vol. 12, January 1878, pp. 286302. Ebbinghaus: Memory: A Contribution To Experimental Psychology, H. Ebbinghaus (H.A. Ruger and C.E. Bussenius, trans.), Teachers College Columbia University, 1913. James: The Principles of Psychology, W. James, Harvard University Press, 1890. Watson: Behaviourism, J.B. Watson, University of Chicago Press, 1930. Festinger: A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance, L. Festinger, Stanford University Press, 1957. Erikson: Identity: Youth and Crisis, E.H. Erikson, W.W. Norton, 1968. Rogers: On Becoming a Person: A Therapists View of Psychotherapy, C.R. Rogers, Houghton, 1961. Perls: Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality, F. Perls, R.F. Hefferline and P. Goodman, Delta Book, 1951. Jones: Papers on Psycho-Analysis, E. Jones, Balliere Tindall & Cox, 1912. Allport: The Nature Of Prejudice, G.W. Allport, Addison-Wesley, 1954. Adler: The Neurotic Constitution: Outlines Of A Comparative Individualistic Psychology And Psychotherapy, A. Adler (Bernard Glueck, J.E. Lind, Trans.), Moffat Yard & Co., 1916. Piaget: The Construction of Reality in the Child, J. Piaget (M. Cook, Trans.), Basic Books, 1954. Maslow: A Theory of Human Motivation, A.H. Maslow, Psychological Review, vol. 50, 1943, pp. 37096. Jung: Psychological Types, C. Jung (H.G. Bayes, Trans.), 1923. Bandura: Transmission of Aggressions Through Imitation of Aggressive Models, A. Bandura, D. Ross and S.A. Ross, Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, vol. 63, no. 3, 1961, pp. 57582. Pavlov: Conditioned Reflexes: An Investigation of the Physiological Activity of the Cerebral Cortex, I.P. Pavlov (G.V. Anrep, trans.), Oxford University Press, 1927.

Binet: New Methods for the Diagnosis of the Intellectual Level of Subnormals, A. Binet (E.S. Kite, Trans.), The Development of Intelligence in Children, Publications of the Training School at Vineland, 1916 (originally published in LAnne Psychologique, vol. 12, 1905, pp. 191244). Loftus: Reconstruction of Automobile Destruction: An Example of the Interaction between Language and Memory, E.F. Loftus and J.C. Palmer, Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behavior, vol. 13, no. 5, 1974, pp. 5859. Skinner: Schedules of Reinforcement, C.B. Ferster and B.F. Skinner, Appleton-Century-Crofts, 1957. Eysenck: Psychoticism as a Dimension of Personality, H.J. Eysenck and S.B.G. Eysenck, Hodder & Stoughton, 1976. Rorschach: The Rorschach Technique: A Manual for a Projective Method of Personality Diagnosis, B. Klopfer, World Book Co., 1946. Wolpe: The Practice of Behavior Therapy, J. Wolpe, Pergamon Press, 1969. Moniz: Biography of Egas Moniz, Nobel Lectures, Physiology or Medicine 19421962, The Nobel Foundation, Elsevier Publishing Co., 1964. McClelland: The Achieving Society, D.C. McClelland, Van Nostrand, 1961. Cattell: The 16Pf: Personality in Depth, H.B. Cattell, Institute for Personality & Ability Testing, 1989. Kinsey: Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, A.C. Kinsey, W.B. Pomeroy and C.E. Martin, W.B. Saunders Co., 1948. Thorndike: The Mental Life of the Monkeys, E.L. Thorndike, Psychological Review, Monograph Supplements, no. 15, Macmillan, 1901. Khler: The Mentality of Apes, W. Khler (Ella Winter, trans.), Harcourt Brace & Co., 1927. May: The Courage to Create, R. May, W.W. Norton & Co., 1975. Fromm: The Art of Loving, E. Fromm, Harper & Row, 1956. Harlow: Affectional Responses in the Infant Monkey, H.F. Harlow and R.R. Zimmerman, Science, vol. 130, 1959, pp. 42132. Zimbardo: Study of Prisoners and Guards in a Simulated Prison, C. Haney, W.C. Banks and P.G. Zimbardo, Naval Research Reviews, vol. 9, 1973, pp. 117. Milgram: Behavioral Study of Obedience, S. Milgram, Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, vol. 67, 1963, pp. 3718. DSM: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV-TR, American Psychiatric Association, 2000. Freud: More Than a Cigar, E.J. Elkin, Cigar Aficionado, 1994.

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 27

Soft Is Hard
Further evidence why the soft sciences are the hardest to do well
compiled by Alice Shirrell Kaswell and Bissell Mango, Improbable Research staff

Irony, Examined Without

Effects of Humorous Distortions on Childrens Learning from Educational Television, Dolf Zillmann, Jonathan L. Masland, James B. Weaver, Lloyd A. Lacey, Nancy E. Jacobs, Julianne H. Dow, Craig A. Klein and Stephen R. Banker, Journal of Educational Psychology, vol. 76, no. 5, October 1984, pp. 80212. (Thanks to Nick Wills-Johnson for bringing this to our attention.) The author, at Indiana University, explains: Both irony and exaggeration were found to produce perceptual distortions of the associated educational information. Compared with distortion-free humor, irony resulted in underestimates and exaggeration resulted in overestimates of properties of novel objects that the program introduced. Correction after irony largely failed to remove the perceptual distortion resulting from irony.

A table from the study Effects of Humorous Distortions on Childrens Learning from Educational Television.

Celebrity and Deviance

Fame and Strain: The Contributions of Mertonian Deviance Theory to an Understanding of the Relationship Between Celebrity and Deviant Behavior, P.F. Parnaby and V.F. Sacco, Deviant Behavior, vol. 25, 2004, pp. 126. The authors, who are respectively at McMaster University, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada and at Queens University, Kingston, Ontario, explain: This paper argues that Mertons original means/ goals gap theory can be used to understand the emerging relationship between deviant behavior and the acquisition of celebrity status. The intent is to illuminate how forms of deviant behavior have become adaptive responses to the structurally anomic conditions that have resulted from popular cultures incessant emphasis on the desirability of fame and celebrity status, and the structurally limited means by which it can be legitimately achieved.

Hand Behaviors of Women During Childbirth

Hand Behaviors of Women During Childbirth, J. VanMuiswinkel, Maternal-Child Nursing Journal, vol. 13, no. 4, Winter 1984, pp. 20588. (Thanks to Paulette Caswell for bringing this to our attention.) The author explains: An exploratory study was conducted to determine what could be inferred from the hand behaviors of women during childbirth.... Nine discrete hand actions were defined according to the interrelationship of the posture, characteristic motion, and the mode of contact of the hand upon the object: grasping, pressing, rubbing, non-moving, gesticulating, holding, playing, palpating, and striking.... Findings related to the hand actions demonstrated a predominance of grasping (28%) and pressing (25%) actions.

The Funny Side of Alcoholism

Theory of Mind, Humour Processing and Executive Functioning in Alcoholism, J. Uekermann, S. Channon, K. Winkel, P. Schlebusch and I. Daum, Addiction, vol. 102, no. 2, 2007, pp. 23240. (Thanks to Peter Meisel for bringing this to our attention.)

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Celebrity Burnout, Analyzed

Durable Good Celebrities, Todd D. Kendall, Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization, vol. 66, 2008, pp. 31221. (Thanks to Martin Gardiner for bringing this to our attention.) The author, at Clemson University, Clemson, South Carolina, explains: Celebrity musicians and other famous touring performers face problems similar to those of a durable good seller with market power, since the number of tickets sold (or expected to be sold) at a given time has intertemporal demand effects. I show that the durability of celebrity output leads to excessively long tours and that there is a strong incentive to take actions early in ones career that will increase costs later in ones career. These effects may help explain high rates of drug abuse and other anomalous self-destructive behavior observed among celebrities. A snippet from the study Durable Good Celebrities.

Footnoted in Passing
Incisive info found in footnotes
compiled by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff

Of the Reticence of Rats

The sixteenth-century French lawyer Bartholomew Chassanne made his name defending rats accused of eating grain. When the rats were summoned to appear in court but never showed up, he invoked the right exercised by human beings to refuse to obey a summons to a place where they are in danger. The rats could justifiably fear for their lives when were they to make the trip to court, since all along the way lurked cats wanting to pounce. footnote on page 92 of the book For the Love of Animals: The Rise of the Animal Protection Movement, Kathryn Shevelow, Henry Holt, 2008, ISBN 978-0-8050-8090-2.

Early Digital Preservation in New Zealand

An elderly farmer from northern Taranaki described how sodium chlorate was used to shatter tree stumpsa major obstacle to cultivation in the region, which had been largely covered with rainforest prior to European settlement. Despite its cheapness in relation to gelignite, he had resisted using the unstable chlorate in this way. It could be too hard on the fingers, he remarked laconically.... In 1933 a quarryman lost two fingers while using chlorate as an explosive. footnote #3 in The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckleys Exploding Trousers: Reflections on an Aspect of Technological Change in New Zealand Dairy-Farming between the World Wars, James Watson, Agricultural History, vol. 78, no. 3, Summer 2004, pp. 34660. The studys author won the 2003 Ig Nobel Prize in the field of Agricultural History.

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 29

May We Recommend
Items that merit a trip to the library
compiled by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff

To Know Soap
Analytical Methods Used for the Discrimination of Substances Suspected to be Bar Soap: A Preliminary Study, Marlo Arredondo, Gerald M. LaPorte, Jeffrey D. Wilson, Tyra McConnell, Douglas K. Shaffer and Marianne Stam, Journal of Forensic Sciences, vol. 51, no. 6, November 2006, pp. 133443. (Thanks to Will Stefanovthe only man ever to be married as part of an Ig Nobel Prize ceremonyfor bringing this to our attention.) The authors, who are variously affiliated with the United States Secret Service and with the California Department of Justices Riverside Criminalistics Laboratory, report: The submission to forensic laboratories of unknown specimens suspected of being biological or chemical warfare agents has increased tremendously with the threat of terrorism.... Two separate studies were conducted using different analytical protocols for bar soaps. In the first set, the forensic laboratory at the United States Secret Service conducted tests on 68 bars of soap using solid-phase
A snippet from the soap study.

microextraction and gas chromatography coupled with mass spectrometry. The 68 different soaps displayed unique total ion chromatogram profiles. Energy-dispersive X-ray analysis in conjunction with scanning electron microscopy was also used to characterize 46 of the 68 soaps as a preliminary study. In a second set of studies, as part of a homicide investigation, the laboratory at the California Department of Justice, Riverside, conducted examinations on 13 bars of soap by utilizing Fourier transform-infrared spectroscopy. The case study demonstrated that it is possible to distinguish some bar soaps using infrared analysis. We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please enclose the full citation (no abbreviations!) and, if possible, a copy of the paper.

See it. Read it.

30 | Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5

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cartoon by Nick Kim

Okayis there anybody ELSE whose homework ate their dog?

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Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5 | 33

PERIODICALS

What is this picture? (see page 1)

ISSN 1079-5146 print / 1935-6862 online Volume 14, Number 5 SeptemberOctober 2008
34 | Annals of Improbable Research | September October 2008 | vol. 14, no. 5

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