FINDING A WIFE, Biblical methods

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. -- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) ^oa;sh l:dj 21(11-13& i;=re yuqod w; isrlrefjla fj,d bkak ,iaik .EKq <ufhla fydhdf.k" f.or tlalf.k hkak' ;fg .d,d" kshfmd;= lmd" fjkia weula wkao,d .kak' ^wjjdohhs ( udihla bjish hq;=f& Find a prostitute and marry her. -- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) ^fydfIhd 1(1-3& wkdpdr ia;%shla ne|.kak' Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. -- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) ^kslauhdu 2(16-21& jre 7 la bkak ksfyla fydhdf.k thdf.a i;a;= /,g j;=r fndkak fokak' Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. -- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) ^rE;a 4(5-10& .Kqfokqf fldgila yehg |la ,efnk bvula < .kak' Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. -- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) ^ksYaphldrhd 21(19-25& idohlg .syska yex.s,d b|,d ia;%shla kgkak wdj .uka w,a,f.k wrf.k hkak' Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. -- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) ^W;am;a;s 2(19-24& kskafo |la ujd fokak fohkajykafiag bvfokak' wjjdohhs ( b, weghla wvqfjkq we; Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. -- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) ^W;am;a;s 29(15-30& |la fokjd k wjqre 7 la jev lrk fldka;%d;a;=jlg wiaik .y,d' jxpdjlg wyqfjkak' ;j wjqre 7 la jev lr,d l,ska .kak yomq |ju ,nd.kak Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. -- David (I Samuel 18:27) ^1 iduqfj,a 18(27& wkd.; uduKaf.a y;=frd 200l f.a pud.% lmdodkak' jj ,nd.kak' Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) -- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) ^W;am;a;s 4(16-17& md m,d;l jqk;a lula kE' lla ria;shd jqkdg miafi ldj y yuqf' ^wjjdohhs ( mrmrdf flfklau h yel& Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

^tia; 2(3-4& ljod y f,dl= cd;shl wrdcHfhla fj,d rEm iqkao ;rhla mj;ajkak' When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." -- Samson (Judges 14:1-3) ^ksYaphldrhd 14(1-3& leu;s flfkla lalu f.or .syska foudmshkag lshkak' uu ia;%shla lald ug thdj f.k;a fokak lshkak' ta wh m%Yak fud;a ta ;eke;a;shj ug ,ndh,a,d' ulaksido uu wehg leu;shs lshd ;d;a;g lshkak' Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though). -- David (2 Samuel 11) ^2 iduqfj,a 11& ku iajdmqreIfhla ur,d Tyqf.a |j .kak ^wjjdohhs ( miafi ,uhs 4 fofkla ke;slr.kak n,df.k bkak& Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). -- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) ^oa;sh l:dj" f,l:dj" rE;a& Tnf.a ifydaorhd uefrk f;la bkak' thdf.a jekaoUq |j ne|.kak' ^wjjdohhs ( woyila muKla fkdj fuh wd{djlao f& Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. -- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3) ^1 rdcdj,sh 11(1-3& uy f.dvla f;darka bkak tmd' .=Kh ;rlau fkdfjhs m%udKh .ek;a ys;kak' A wife?...NOT!!! -- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) ^1 fldka;s 7(32-35& |la o@ T'' '' ke;=jg lula kE