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Flame Warrior Table of Contents

When clicking through the Warriors they appear in the order of their creation. Here, they are arranged alphabetically to make each one easier to find. Acne Jekyl and Hyde Admin Jerk Agent Klaxon ALLCAPS Kung-Fu Master Android Lamer Archivist L'Enfant Provocateur Atheist Lonely Guy Artiste Loopy Artful Dodger Lurker Big Cat Nanny Big Dog and Me-Too Net Rat Bliss Ninny Netiquette Nazi Blowhard Newbie Bong Nitpick Captialista Palooka Centurion Peacemaker Coffee Klatch Perv Compost Philosopher Crybaby Picador Cyber Sisters Pinko Deacon Pithy Phrase Diplomat Profundus Maximus Duelists Propeller Head Eagle Scout Rat Ego Rebel Leader Ent Rebel Without a Clue Ennui Rottweiler Puppy
Glossary
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Ethnix Evil Clown Ferrous Cranus Filibuster Fragile Femme Furious Typer Garble God Godzilla Grammarian Grenade Grunter Howlers Ideologue Imposter Innocence Abused Issues
Royals Stealth Stone Deaf Strumpet The Swarm Sycophant Target Therapist Tiny Yapper Tireless Rebutter Toxic Granny Troglodyte Troller Typhoid Mary Weenie Whisper Xenophobe Yuk Yuk
Furious Typer
Flame Warriors Furious Typer
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Furious Typers combat strategy is to drown her adversary with a tsunami of angry verbiage. She is absolutely immune to subtlty and ignores all but the barest essentials of any argument. After breifly appraising the gist of her opponents counter attack she puts her head down and rapidly fires off long rambling messages replete with grammitical and factual errors. The typical Furious Typer lacks endurance, however, and if the other combatants can weather the initial assault she will quickly exhaust herself and retire from the field.
Furious Typer
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Big Dog and Me-Too
Flame Warriors Big Dog and Me-Too
Big Dog is a bully who doesn't hesitate to use his superior strength to intimidate other combatants. Big Dog may be smart, articulate or just plain mean, but in any case he is a remorseless fighter, brutally ripping into even the weakest of combatants. Once Big Dog securely fastens his powerful jaws on a hapless victim, Me-Too will join the attack. Me-Too is far too weak and insecure to engage in single combat, and must ally himself with Big Dog or a pack of other Warriors to bring down his quarry.
Big Dog and Me-Too
Cyber Sisters
Flame Warriors Cyber Sisters
Cyber Sisters are an extremely fierce confederation of fighting females who act something like a shrill Greek chorus, echoing and amplifying one another's voice until their foes retreat in disarray. They are generally leaderless, but anyone who challenges one Cyber Sister can expect to be savagely attacked by the others. Only the most powerful and battle-hardened of Warriors is strong enough to weather a Cyber Sisters attack.
Cyber Sisters
Toxic Granny
Flame Warriors Toxic Granny
Toxic Granny
Warriors often underestimate Toxic Granny's fighting abilities. She can be very aggressive, and because of the deference paid to the elderly, not only does Toxic Granny easily attract allies to aid in her defense, but her foes are reluctant to employ their strongest weapons against her. Prudent Warriors avoid confrontations with Toxic Granny because there is no glory in victory and defeat at her hands is ignominious.
Weenie
Flame Warriors Weenie
Weenie
Weenie is a very sensitive guy, and it angers him that everyone isn't as sensitive as he. A soi-disant male feminist, he not only cares deeply about women's issues, he's concerned about poverty, people of color, gay rights and sea turtles. Weenie strives to be politically correct at all times and is ever vigilant against anti progressive attitudes. Weenie is always solicitous towards the oppressed classes, but will lash out viciously at retrograde brutes such as Deacon and Troglodyte.
Tiny Yapper
Flame Warriors Tiny Yapper
Ill tempered and aggressive, Tiny Yapper is always right out at the end of his leash and barks furiously at the slightest provocation. Though his constant high pitched yips can be very annoying, his diminutive stature and limited strength pose no real threat to other Warriors..
Tiny Yapper
Innocence Abused Abused</font>
Flame Warriors Innocence Abused
Innocence Abused guards her purity jealously and cannot countenance crude language and gets the vapors over frank references to intimate bodily functions. This digital ingenue is a very weak Warrior, and is a favorite target of L'Enfant Provocateur, Jerk, Troller and Evil Clown, but Innocence Abused can always count on other Warriors, such as Cyber Sisters, Weenie and Toxic Granny, to come to her defense.
Innocence Abused Abused</font>
Stealth
Flame Warriors Stealth
Stealth
Stealth prefers to go into battle disguised or heavily camouflaged, often using pseudonyms, anonymous mail servers and multiple e mail addresses. Operating from a position of anonymity he can launch vicious attacks with little fear of reprisals. Because of his cowardice Stealth is often dismissed by other Warriors as an unworthy adversary.
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Ennui
Flame Warriors Ennui
Ennui only rouses himself from his torpor to cajole other Warriors to be more interesting - without, of course, ever contributing anything of interest himself. Ennui has limited weaponry at his disposal, but his majestic affectation of boredom provides an effective defense to attacks. When pressed in battle he will announce his intention of moving on to a more stimulating forum, but instead he will generally lurk quietly until the threat passes.
Ennui
L'Enfant Provocateur
Flame Warriors L'Enfant Provocateur
L'Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.
L'Enfant Provocateur
Nanny
Flame Warriors Nanny
Nanny tirelessly monitors forum discussions and makes it his mission to see to it that everyone behaves. While he is quick to admonish for off-topic messages and petty squabbling, he is generally rather slow to anger. Nanny rarely wades into pitched battles, rather he simply pulls the plug on combatants. Often Nanny becomes the unwitting ally to the intrigues of Rat and Crybaby.
Nanny
Rat
Flame Warriors Rat
Rat prefers to attack with private messages rather than out in the open. CAUTION: If a Warrior starts to get the better of the fight he will suddenly post out of context excerpts of his opponent's messages to the list. When taken to task for betraying private correspondence he will insist that he did it because he was being harassed or that his adversary poses a threat to other, more vulnerable Warriors, such as Innocence Abused.
Rat
Crybaby
Flame Warriors Crybaby
Crybaby
Although sometimes a male, Crybaby is usually a female, and often a close ally of Innocence Abused. When teased or attacked Crybaby will pitch a loud public temper tantrum, holding her breath and kicking her feet. If that defense fails she will run to Nanny for comfort.
Lonely Guy
Flame Warriors Lonely Guy
Lonely Guy doesn't get out much, and often his social isolation can drive him to do battle just for the human contact. Compassion dictates that we shouldn't get too upset with his antics. Nonetheless, Lonely Guy can be very fierce. Remember, he has nothing better to do than stew over real or imagined insults. CAUTION: If Lonely Guy is also a Propeller Head he may retaliate with e mail bombing, anonymous spamming, electronic stalking and other techie mischief.
Lonely Guy
Profundus Maximus
Flame Warriors Profundus Maximus
Profundus Maximus
Profundus Maximus eagerly holds forth on all subjects, but his thin knowledge will not support a sustained assault and therefore his attacks quickly peter out. Profundus Maximus often uses big words, obscure terms and...ahem...even Latin to bluff his way through battle.
Philosopher
Flame Warriors Philosopher
Philosopher differs from Profundus Maximus in that he actually does know something. While somewhat humorless and slightly aloof, he is also slow to anger. When he does deign to engage in battle he is considerate of other opinions, but his ponderous and lengthy cogitations effectively smother the opposition.
Philosopher
Netiquette Nazi
Flame Warriors Netiquette Nazi
Netiquette Nazi
Netiquette Nazi is in control and she does not tolerate backtalk. The guidelines for every discussion forum are clearly posted and she demands obedience. If any of you sniveling dogs break the rules or deviate from strict observance of netiquette you WILL be punished.
Diplomat
Flame Warriors Diplomat
Diplomat
Diplomat butts into hot disputes, presuming that the combatants will welcome and appreciate his evenhanded and eminently reasonable mediation. Frankly, he gets what he deserves..
Royals
Flame Warriors Royals
Whether through virtue, contribution, force of personality or sheer longevity certain forum participants will rise to form an aristocracy. While it is generally taboo to openly acknowledge the class distinctions, the hierarchy is well understood by all. While for the most part the Royals rule with magnanimity, they will not tolerate impertinence from the hoi polloi. It is their habit to remain aloof from petty squabbles among their subjects, but when full-scale war breaks out their intervention can be decisive.
Royals
Tireless Rebutter
Flame Warriors Tireless Rebutter
Tireless Rebutter
For Tireless Rebutter there is no such thing as a trivial dispute. He regards all challenges as if the barbarians were battering at the gates. His unflagging tenacity in making his points numbs and eventually wears down the opposition. Confident that his arguments are sound, Tireless Rebutter can't understand why he is universally loathed.
Kung-Fu master
Flame Warriors Kung-Fu Master
Though Kung-Fu Masters are powerful Warriors, they generally choose not to fight. Many lesser Warriors delude themselves into thinking that they are masters of war, but few are the genuine article. The true Kung-Fu master fully appreciates his own superiority and is therefore unruffled by petty provocations. When forced to fight, however, he quickly crushes his opponent with devastating blows.
Kung-Fu master
Propeller Head
Flame Warriors Propeller Head
Propeller Head knows just about everything there is to know about computers and the internet, and is indignant that you don't. Often an inarticulate and clumsy fighter he is still much to be feared because with a few deft keystrokes he can reduce your computer to a smoking heap of ruined metal - or at least he SAYS he can...
Propeller Head
Bliss Ninny
Flame Warriors Bliss Ninny
Bliss Ninny doesn't understand why people just can't get along. While it is entirely unintentional, Bliss Ninny's utterly vacuous comments can drive the more pugnacious Warriors into a frenzy of aggression. Often in the heat of battle Bliss Ninny will discuss her cat.
Bliss Ninny
Therapist
Flame Warriors Therapist
Therapist
Therapist can be a highly annoying and therefore very effective Warrior. Instead of making a frontal attack, Therapist attempts to shift the focus of the conflict to the combatants' psychological motivations and problems. He will freely speculate about other Warriors' insecurities, personalities and relationships, but he will almost never directly engage the subject of the dispute. CAUTION: Evil Clown, Imposter and Troller often masquerade as Therapist.
Perv
Flame Warriors Perv
Perv is a relatively rare Flame Warrior and is very secretive. He incites trouble merely to keep people talking to him. He can be very difficult to identify, but one big tipoff is if he seems less interested in what you have to say than what you are wearing.
Perv
Fragile Femme
Flame Warriors Fragile Femme
Fragile Femme is very needy and insecure and regards the discussion forum as her personal support group, and will lash out when her feelings are not "validated" by the others. Fragile Femme will often refer to the forum participants as her "family" and becomes distraught at disharmony of any kind. She regards even minor disagreements with her as devastating personal assaults and will often dissolve into hysteria when confronted. Her hyperactive sense of injury renders her fighting tactics fairly ineffective, but Innocence Abused, Cyber Sisters or Weenie will often spring to her defense.
Fragile Femme
Issues
Flame Warriors Issues
Issues
Issues has an issue and she wants it to be everyone's issue. The discussion could be about fondue pots and Issue would rage about the multinational corporate conspiracy to exploit fondue pot workers. Of course, Issues is found among all ideological persuasions - anti-gun mothers, gun totin' mothers, bloodthirsty feminists, troglodyte misogynists, politically correct, politically incorrect, lefties, righties, vegetarians, carnivores, radical Rotarians - it doesn't matter. HINT: An effective tactic to employ against Issues is indifference.
Troller
Flame Warriors Troller
Troller is looking for a response...ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone...ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release. Nonetheless, he can upset the delicate ecology of a discussion forum. Once a forum becomes aware of his presence, however, all feeding activity ceases and Troller must move on to more promising waters.
Troller
Coffee Klatch
Flame Warriors Coffee Klatch
For Coffee Klatch the discussion forum is a social gathering - like Mah Jong or the Wednesday morning canasta club. Coffee Klatch prefers a friendly, chatty environment and almost always limits her participation to non-technical forums. Whether inadvertently or by design, Coffee Klatch prepares the battlefield in her favor by making it soggy with pleasant, but vapid messages - her favorite phrase often being, "thanks for sharing". This renders the battlefield rather slow going for many of the swifter and more powerful Warriors, and if war does break out she will shed her benign facade and strike mired Warriors with great ferocity.
Coffee Klatch
Grammarian
Flame Warriors Grammarian
Grammarian
Grammarian usually has little to contribute to a discussion and possesses few effective weapons. To compensate, he will point out minor errors in spelling and grammar. Because of Grammarian's obvious weakness most Warriors ignore him.
Jeckle and Hyde
Flame Warriors Jekyll and Hyde
Jeckle and Hyde
As a forum participant Jekyll and Hyde always plays by the rules and is consistently cordial and helpful - a model netizen, until one day he comes completely uncorked and lashes out without warning. His unanticipated thunderbolts can temporarily rout even the sturdiest Warriors, and it often takes some time for his stunned opponents to mount a counter attack. Jekyll and Hyde's sudden behavioral change may result from a psychotic episode, PMS, a downturn in the market, a surprise visit by the in-laws - or a session of hard drinking...
ALLCAPS
Flame Warriors ALLCAPS
ALLCAPS attempts to compensate for his limited rhetorical weaponry through the extravagant use of capitalized words - something netizens refer to as SHOUTING. Sure, a sprinkling of capitalized words can add spice to an attack, but overuse is like too much tarragon in the stew. Even worse from a tactical point of view, too much shouting alerts other Warriors to the opponent's verbal WEAKNESS and emotional EXCITABILITY.
ALLCAPS
Jerk
Flame Warriors Jerk
Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth.
Jerk
Evil Clown
Flame Warriors Evil Clown
Evil Clown is very quick with a joke, but his jests always have a barb. He has little patience for in-depth discussions and will often disrupt exchanges between serious forum participants by introducing irrelevant topics, fatuous quips, and offhand comments. His greatest thrill is to taunt and humiliate weaker or more plodding Warriors with his snappy ripostes. When a strong Warrior finally corners him Evil Clown will attempt to escape by accusing his attacker of having no sense of humor.
Evil Clown
Peacemaker
Flame Warriors Peacemaker
NNo one knoweth whence cometh the Peacemaker, nor whither he goeth. He restoreth peace unto the people. He seeketh neither praise nor glory, but only that all might love one another and that the lamb might lie down with the lion. Anyway, some Warriors have a talent for pouring oil on troubled water. CAUTION: Beware of false messiahs.
Peacemaker
Deacon
Flame Warriors Deacon
Deacon
Be he a Baptist, Scientologist or Zoroastrian, in the heat of battle Deacon will call down Divine retribution on all net sinners, and will never miss an opportunity to tell everyone about his personal savior. Deacon is fervent and earnest, but never has anything of interest or substance to contribute to a discussion. Occasionally Tireless Rebutter or Philosopher will engage Deacon in battle, but mostly he is ignored.
Sycophant
Flame Warriors Sycophant
Sycophant differs from Me-Too in that he is much more concerned with sucking up than he is with actually doing battle. Of course, he WILL engage in some light combat to impress Big Dog and other stronger Warriors, but he never exposes himself to unnecessary danger. Although combatants sometimes employ Sycophant to buttress an attack, his constantly shifting loyalties make him a weak and unreliable ally.
Sycophant
Troglodyte
Flame Warriors Troglodyte
Troglodyte
Troglodyte is an aggressive Philistine who categorically disdains all new-age enthusiasms and politics, and has a particular animus against "homos", "tree huggers", " hairy-leg lesbo feminists" and artsy types. His loud brandishings of "common sense" and "reason" are nothing more than conceits to justify his close mindedness. Troglodyte's fierce, but predictable attacks are easily parried by more nimble Warriors. Sometimes, just for fun, Weenie or Issues will taunt him into a towering rage.
Strumpet
Flame Warriors Strumpet
Strumpet
Strumpet finds sex talk completely irresistible and constantly forwards excruciatingly unfunny and lurid jokes to the discussion forum. She always manages to sprinkle conversations with references to private parts and will never let pass without comment any mention of the words "eat," "enter," "come," "rub," etc. She disregards the women and flirts with all the men, often bragging that she has a husband or boyfriend that expertly satisfies her putatively voracious sexual appetite, but forum members....er, participants...quickly conclude no husband or boyfriend exists. Should any Warrior challenge her directly Strumpet will disparage her attacker's sexual orientation and/or penis size. CAUTION: Strumpet may be a man.
Archivist
Flame Warriors Archivist
Archivist
Archivist saves and squirrels away each and every discussion forum message. Do you remember having a bad day back in 1996 when in one of your messages you may have said a few things that were...well, perhaps a little...hasty? Don't worry, Archivist still has it and will post it to the forum if you begin to get the upper hand in battle. Archivist can be a very effective and fearsome Warrior.
Whisper
Flame Warriors Whisper
Whisper
Whisper maintains a benign demeanor and carefully avoids open conflict. When aroused, however, she will send vigorous attacks to sympathetic forum participants via private e mail in an attempt to sway the tide of battle. A typical Whisper maneuver is to "accidentally" post an ambiguously critical, but ostensibly private message to the discussion forum, e.g., "Dear Mary - see what I mean about this guy?" Or, "John - did you read what Bill said? I rest my case!" When challenged she will protest (disingenuously) that she hit the "reply" key by mistake, that the message was never intended to be read by forum participants, that the message was out of context, etc. Whisper's intent is to gain a tactical advantage by leaving the impression that her side in the conflict is gathering heavy forces just over the horizon, and though transparently obvious to veteran Warriors, this feint can often blunt a successful attack by less experienced fighters.
Blowhard
Flame Warriors Blowhard
Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example, in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority that the 'Beavis and Butthead' movie represents the emergence of a new cultural paradigm." Huh?
Blowhard
Grunter
Flame Warriors Grunter
Grunter
Grunter always reponds to discussion forum messages with a single word or a short phrase, and he NEVER edits quoted material . Profundus Maximus, Philosopher, Tireless Rebutter, and other verbose Warriors find Grunter a particularly exasperating opponent because he will answer their lengthy pontifications with a simple "Yeah!". "Get a life.", "Whatever", "I agree." "Wrong.", etc. While Grunter is not a strong Warrior, he is very elusive and difficult to engage in direct battle, and only by his extended silence is there any indication that he has been vanquished.
Ego
Flame Warriors Ego
Ego
For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him and his issues, and he regards discussions that stray from those topics as trivial dalliances. Although tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive from extended inattention and will often provoke conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand. Ego dismisses with only a cursory reading any forum traffic that doesn't relate directly to him, but replies at length to everything else. Ego is one the the fiercest of all the Warriors and will fight to the death when attacked.
Loopy
Flame Warriors Loopy
Loopy
Don't try to understand Loopy's messages - they will forever remain opaque to all but himself. Loopy is easily aroused and exuberant in battle and fearlessly flings himself at any Warrior - even Kung-Fu Master. Loopy's main weapons consist of a disarming array of nonsequiturs, tautologies, and bizarre metaphors, which can often gain him an advantage in the initial stages of an attack. Combatants very quickly realize, however, that Loopy is a certifiable nut case and generally avoid further engagement, although Jerk and Evil Clown sometimes egg Loopy on for their own amusement. CAUTION: Loopy cannot be defeated with conventional weapons. Any response to his attacks will often provoke a fusillade of incoherent messages. HINT: If ignored, Loopy will continue to clatter and foam until Nanny removes him from the discussion forum.
Palooka
Flame Warriors Palooka
Palooka will battle anyone, anytime, anywhere - he seems to love it, even though he always takes a beating. After a terrific pounding at the hands of, for example, Kung-Fu Master, he'll just struggle to his feet and wobble back into the ring. His astonishing ability to absorb punishment leads one to suspect that during his long Warrior career Palooka has taken a few too many punches. Often, as an act of mercy, Nanny will step in to stop the fight.
Palooka
Xenophobe
Flame Warriors Xenophobe
Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards newbies to his forum as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. If a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions prevailing opinion, Xenophobe will attempt to silence or drive out the newcomer.
Xenophobe
Howlers
Flame Warriors Howlers
Howlers generally populate academic, technical or special interest forums in which particular issues are discussed. Newbies to such forums often wander in thinking they have found some devastating new argument that contradicts accepted wisdom on the forum topic. Of course, if the forum is a long-standing and active discussion group it will probably have heard and debated the argument at length, so instead of reviving a dead topic Howlers will simply shout and throw excrement until the intruder leaves.
Howlers
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Glossary
NOTE: For a more complete explanation of Netiquette go to the Netiquette Home Page. cross-post 1. v. The act of simultaneously sending identical or almost identical e mail messages to multiple discussion forums. cyberculture 1. The vast collection of newsgroups, mailing lists, bulletin boards, chat rooms and web sites that make up the internet. 2. The social structure, resources and customs of the internet. FAQ 1. abbrv. Frequently Asked Questions. A description of a forum's terms of service, etiquette rules and notes on its general purpose and outlook. New forum members are expected to familiarize themselves with the FAQs before participating in forum discussions. flame 1. n. A hostile, often unprovoked, message directed at a participant of an internet discussion forum. The content of the message typically disparages the intelligence, sanity, behavior, knowledge, character, or ancestry of the recipient. 2. v. The act of sending a hostile message on the internet. 3. adj. Having the character of a flame, as in, flame war. flame war 1. n. An extended exchange of flames between one or more participants in an internet forum, usually characterized by increasing levels of hostility. flame warrior 1. n. One who actively flames, or willingly participates in a flame war. killfile
Flame Author
1. n. An e mail utility that blocks unwanted messages. netiquette 1. The manners, customs and established proceedures of internet culture and discourse. For a more complete description of Netiquette rules, click here. netizen 1. n. A citizen of cyberspace. newbie 1. n. Someone who newly joins a discussion forum. 2. A person with limited internet or discussion forum experience. 3. n. A rookie. spam 1. v. The act of cross-posting to promote a commercial or personal agenda. Sometimes these messages will be altered slightly to give the appearance of being relevant to the forum topic. 2. n. Cross-posted e mail messages sent to promote a commercial or personal agenda. urban legend 1. n. A palpably implausible rumor propagated on the internet.
About the author:

Mike Reed is a veteran of many flame wars and has been often wounded in battle. He has retired as an active Flame Warrior, but continues to serve in an advisory capacity.
Compost
Flame Warriors Compost
Compost has few weapons at his disposal and must resort to expletives and gross vulgarities to amplify his rhetorical thrusts. His tactical approach can occasionally rout Innocence Abused, but it is generally ineffective against other Warriors. Combatants know when he has spent the fury of his attack when he suggests that his opponent's mother is a professional sexual services provider (although he will put it in different terms). Nanny has little stomach for Compost's ordure and will quickly eject him from the forum.
Compost
Rottweiler Puppy
Flame Warriors Rottweiler Puppy
Rottweiler Puppy is clumsy, marginally articulate, unsteady in his often playful attacks, but anyone who cares to notice will see that one day he will be a fierce and powerful Big Dog. HINT: By showing some patience and kindness to Rottweiler Puppy in his formative stages prudent Warriors may gain a steadfast and formidable ally.
Rottweiler Puppy
Newbie
Flame Warriors Newbie
Newbie
Unsteady in his knowledge of computers and cyberculture Newbie perambulates the internet, blithely stumbling his way into discussion forums. He seldom reads the FAQs and is utterly clueless about the basics of netiquette. When engaged in battle Newbie's usual tactical gambit is to feign helplessness, often going limp or crying when cornered. While Newbie doesn't seek conflict he will lash out comically when his feelings are hurt. Most Warriors will either ignore Newbie or treat him with mild disdain, but a few, such as Jerk and Evil Clown, take special pleasure in torturing him. Others, especially Propeller Head and Xenophobe, have a particular animus against Newbie and view his bumbling as an affront that must be punished.
Pithy Phrase
Flame Warriors Pithy Phrase
Pithy Phrase
Pithy Phrase is a walking compendium of famous quotations and wise adages. Of course, he will never add anything original to the discussion, but because most discussion forums communicate through e mail he can take his time to thumb through books of quotes and find les mots justes for every situation. Er...didn't Winston Churchill say, "It's a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations."? Digital forums are a gift to the slow witted (I said that).
Imposter
Flame Warriors Imposter
Imposter
Impostor is a digital Proteus who changes his persona whenever it suits his purposes. That 21 year old co-ed from Arizona State you met in a discussion forum may, in fact, be a retired steel worker from Pittsburgh. Impostor will claim to be black, white, rich, poor, young, old, straight or gay, and if he's good he can pull it off - at least for a while. Of course, there are sinister, even criminal reasons Impostor would lie about who he is, but more often he fakes it to lend weight to his arguments, or simply to amuse himself. Impostor's requisite imagination and good writing skills can make him a formidable enemy, but even the best of this Warrior class will eventually blunder and reveal their true identity. Once uncovered, Impostor will always flee, but he may return in another form - you just never know...
Ideologue
Flame Warriors Ideologue
Ideologue
There are two distinct varieties of Ideologue, conservative and liberal, but each being smug and self satisfied in his certitudes, they are really flip sides of the same coin. Though Ideologue's "opinions" merely represent a loose collection of intellectual conceits he is nonetheless astonished, bewildered and angered when his views are not immediately embraced as Truth. He regards honest disagreement as a form of cognitive dissonance that can only be cured by relentless propagandizing. The conservative iteration of Ideologue parades himself as a logical, clear thinker, while the liberal version trumpets his higher level of mental, spiritual and social awareness. Troglodyte is the natural ally of conservative Ideologue, and for liberal Ideologue it is Weenie. Whether conservative or liberal, Ideologue is a fierce, but very predictable Warrior.
Ethnix
Flame Warriors Ethnix
Ethnix
Ethnix is an extremely powerful Warrior who effectively exploits his minority status and the general nervousness about race to gain advantage in battle. Ethnix deftly wields his ethnicity and can instantly shift from defense to offense, keeping even the most skillful Warriors off balance. Impostor, covetous of his power, often impersonates Ethnix, but he can seldom maintain the ruse. While all Warriors are wary of Ethnix, he is most feared by Weenie.
Filibuster
Flame Warriors Filibuster
Filibuster and his pet topic form an endless loop. If his first thrust doesn't win the day, he will try to gain ground with a second, third, fourth ... nth repetition. He may even make a good initial attack, but his monotonous hectoring and prodigious output rapidly clears the field of other Warriors. Filibuster eventually lands in everyone's killfile .
Filibuster
Lurker
Flame Warriors Lurker
Lurker does not participate in normal forum discourse, but he's out there...watching, reading every message. Generally, he is quite harmless. In fact, his silence usually reflects a natural reticence rather than any sinister motives. He is content to let the other people haul the conversational freight and, if a fight breaks out he will observe quietly. Occasionally, however, some mysterious impulse drives him to de-lurk and attack. Other Warriors regard his unexpected assault as an ambush, and invariably turn on him savagely. But Lurker seldom sticks around to fight it out, rather, after a brief exchange, he slips away, never to be heard from again.
Lurker
Nitpick
Flame Warriors Nitpick
Nitpick
Nitpick compensates for his general weakness as a Warrior by pouncing on errors, however irrelevant to the discussion, and using them to discredit the enemy. For example, if his opponent in a sports forum conflict casually mentioned the Cubs' 4-2 victory in the 1908 World Series, Nitpick would quickly counterattack with something like, "4-2 !? Any moron knows the Cubs won the Series 4-1! Someone so ignorant about baseball history can't possibly know anything about salary caps!" Even if the minor point is conceded Nitpick will return to it whenever pressed in the main arena of battle. Nitpick can be easily bested by even Rottweiler Puppy, but he is very tenacious and will never admit defeat. Nitpick is a close ally of Artful Dodger.
Artful Dodger
Flame Warriors Artful Dodger
Artful Dodger
Like Nitpick, Artful Dodger is a nimble and elusive Warrior. When faced with an attack he can't rebuff he maneuvers the discussion into an area where he feels he occupies the high ground. If, for example, in a moment of pique his opponent refers to him as a "sonofabitch", Artful Dodger will not only demand a public apology for his sainted mother, but will launch into a long harrangue about the sanctity of motherhood. Knowing full well that to stay on topic will assure his defeat, he is utterly impervious to counterattacks like, "that has nothing to do with this discussion".
Lamer
Flame Warriors Lamer
Lamer
Lamer is a Warrior who appears in different guises to different people, and is therefore difficult to describe in full detail. Nonetheless, he is readily identifiable because of his mediocre wit, utter lack of insight and vacuous comment . You begin to sense Lamer's presence when you are able to anticipate the content of his messages even before reading them. Lamer actively participates in forum discourse and readily jumps into battle, but his ineffectuality renders him relatively harmless when encountered in single combat. CAUTION: Lamer's crushing dullness can enervate even the most robust Warrior, and while it is usually possible to overcome the presence of a few Lamers, enough of them banded together the can numb the liveliest forum into extinction.
Android
Flame Warriors Android
Android
Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous. Android's circuits are not equipped to process ambiguous or aesthetic input, consequently any extensive discussion involving personal feelings, intuition, art and metaphorical allusions will quickly drive Android from the field of battle.
Ferrous Cranus
Flame Warriors Ferrous Cranus
Ferrous Cranus
Ferrous Cranus is utterly impervious to reason, persuasion and new ideas, and when engaged in battle he will not yield an inch in his position regardless of its hopelessness. Though his thrusts are decisively repulsed, his arguments crushed in every detail and his defenses demolished beyond repair he will remount the same attack again and again with only the slightest variation in tactics. Sometimes out of pure frustration Philosopher will try to explain to him the failed logistics of his situation, or Therapist will attempt to penetrate the psychological origins of his obduracy, but, ever unfathomable, Ferrous Cranus cannot be moved.
Eagle Scout
Flame Warriors Eagle Scout
Eagle Scout
Eagle Scout is a positive, constructive Warrior who endeavors to submit original articles which contain useful content and relevant information with supporting citations and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. Eagle Scout regards the internet as an uplifting, egalitarian, worldwide arena for the exchange of ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals. He does not openly attack, but will (ever tactfully) chastise disruptive comments, gratuitous insults and cretinous insipidity. He is always kind and helpful to Newbie, and will shrug off even the most egregious insults. Eagle Scout is loathed with a poisonous intensity by Evil Clown, Jerk, L'Enfant Provocateur and Ego. CAUTION: Sometimes Imposter, Evil Clown or Troller will masquerade as Eagle Scout. There have also been reports of Eagle Scout becoming Jekyl and Hyde.
Grenade
Flame Warriors Grenade
Grenade
Grenade isn't actually a Warrior, per se, but he is an ordnance so widely employed by combatants that no Flame Warriors guide would be complete without mentioning him. When lobbed into a discussion forum Grenade instantly reduces any semblance of reasonable discourse to smoking rubble and sets in motion the forces of war. Grenade can be loaded with different explosives depending on the forum, but some common detonating materials are Clinton, gun control, homosexuality, Reagan, abortion, taxes, conspiracy theory, the NEA, welfare reform, etc. When beleaguered and facing certain defeat a Warrior can deflect even the most determined attack by triggering a diversionary explosion. Grenade is a particularly destructive weapon when wielded by Evil Clown, Issues, Troglodyte and even Weenie, but almost any Warrior can use it to gain a temporary strategic advantage. Grenade is the preferred weapon of Troller and L'Enfant Provocateur. Eagle Scout has been known to throw himself upon Grenade to save the forum.
Picador
Flame Warriors Picador
Picador
Picador does not personally do battle with any Warrior. Rather, like his bull fighting counterpart, he uses well placed barbs to goad his adversary into charging. While skillfully avoiding the appearance of being the provocateur, he carefully guides his enraged target towards certain injury or defeat at the hands of a stronger Warrior. Once the fight has been set in motion Picador will retire to a discrete distance, always ready prod his lance into sensitive areas should the action begin to flag. HINT: Alert Warriors can readily spot Picador because, though he seldom takes a stand on controversial issues, he always seems to be near the fray.
Godzilla
Flame Warriors Godzilla
Godzilla
It was a peaceful and productive forum; lively, congenial and a bounteous source of useful information. Then one day, completely without warning, Godzilla arose from the depths and blew his scalding breath on everything in his path. A phalanx of Warriors mobilized to attack the monster, only to be crushed like so many toy tanks under Godzilla's mighty feet. Godzilla soon reduced the forum to searing and consuming flames. Just as abruptly, he rumbled back beneath the waves, leaving all to tremble in fear of his return. Net life would never be the same. Sadly, many netizens who survive a Godzilla attack will become Xenophobes.
Target
Flame Warriors Target
Target
Target is the guy everyone in a forum loves to hate. To some degree he brings this upon himself. For example, he may be a known cheater in a game forum, a conservative among liberals, a Windows guy among Mac enthusiasts, or even a man in a women's forum. Why Target places himself in such dicey situations is anyone's guess, but he seems genuinely oblivious to his precarious position. When Target inevitably runs afoul of a forum's prevailing attitudes the other Warriors unleash their collective fury upon him. His usual reaction is "Hey, what did I do?" or "Why do you all hate me?" Target usually gets the hint after a while and moves on. NOTE: Target often serves as a useful pressure valve for the forum's pent up hostilities. Therefore, if the current Target has been driven off or immobilized a new target will be quickly selected. CAUTION: Target is a favorite disguise of Troller amd Evil Clown.
Administrator
Flame Warriors Admin
Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, L'Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground. Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin's enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his ax. CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat. Rebel Leader does pose a limited threat to Admin's power by fomenting a revolt and causing forum members to jump ship.
Administrator
Acne
Flame Warriors Acne
Acne constantly whines about how, like, life the universe and everything really sucks and stuff. Usually a middle class teenager with an allowance, unlimited access to a computer and WAY too much time on his hands. Acne's vague existential arguments about the meaningless of life and emptiness of existence are culled from the lyrics of the 20 gigs of MP3s he has squirreled away on his hard drive. It's useless to talk to Acne because there's no point, is there?
Acne
Agent
Flame Warriors Agent
Agent is a sinister and elusive opponent who usually works in concert with other Agents. Agent generally uses standard combat techniques, but differs from other Warriors in that he is in the employ of some organization. The organization may be political, commercial, or even criminal, and its Agents job to post messages that advance his employers interests. For example, several Agents who have been hired to promote a new theater production will invade theater discussion forums, and while energetically plumping for their own production, they will pick fights, spread malicious gossip and post fraudulent reviews about competing productions. Some Agents are benign shills, while others are malicious crusaders. Agents typically use hit and run tactics to avoid detection, but sometimes they can be detected by alert forum members who have seen them in other forums, or they may arouse suspicion by the obsessive monotony of their postings.
Agent
Atheist
Flame Warriors Atheist
Atheist
Atheist is Deacon's cyber-doppelganger. Deacon and Atheist hold equally fervent, though diametrically opposed beliefs about religion, and both feel compelled to share those beliefs at every possible opportunity. Should an unsuspecting forum member make even a passing comment about faith or spirituality of any flavor, Atheist will descend like one of the Furies, mercilessly hectoring all of the ignorant and delusional believers about the sordid history of the church and the pernicious effects of religion on society. After a few of Atheists anti-religious jeremiads most other Warriors will avoid the subject altogether, though Evil Clown may egg him on a little, and Philosopher may amuse himself by pointing out flaws in his reasoning. If a forum has the misfortune of having both Deacon and Atheist as members, the bickering often continues until Nanny or Admin pulls the plug. Bliss Ninny can also sometimes squelch the conversation by saying, Well, everyone has a right to their [sic] opinion. Mike Reed Illustration Click HERE to get great Flame Warrior merchandise! Click HERE to get FABULOUS Warriors wallpaper!
Artiste
Flame Warriors Artiste
Artiste
Artiste has an unshakeable belief in his own artistic talents, and is deeply offended when anyone expresses an opinion to the contrary. Frequently his own insipid poetry will appear in his signature, and to no apparent purpose he will sometimes post a poem in the midst of battle. Artiste's obsessive need to trumpet his aesthetic sensitivity drives him to reference great, but somewhat obscure artists. He assumes that the mere mention of, say, Pollaiuolo (Italian,1431 1498), will confirm his sophistication and breadth of knowledge and thereby assure victory in battle. Actually, he is universally regarded as a pretentious blockhead. Artiste is a weak fighter and will try to deflect blows by fatuous ripostes like, "Everyone has their own opinion". CAUTION: Artiste often has serious mental problems and, though easily defeated in battle, may resort to decidedly UNaesthetic behavior, such as stalking, e mail bombing, or making false reports to forum administrators. Mike Reed Illustration Click HERE to get great Flame Warrior merchandise! Click HERE to get FABULOUS Warriors wallpaper!
Big Cat
Flame Warriors Big Cat
Big Cat would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows.
Big Cat
Bong
Flame Warriors Bong
Does the writer seems to babble on and on? Does he lurch from one non sequitur to another? Are you baffled by his obscure metaphors? Are there so many typos you think that maybe he was typing while wearing a catcher's mit? Can he really MEAN what he just said? What in the hell is this guy talking about, anyway? Is this guy smoking something? Well, yes...in fact he is, and placidly tethered in high orbit Bong remains far beyond the reach of the even the most powerful Warriors' weaponry.
Bong
Capitalista
Flame Warriors Capitalista
Despite assumptions to the contrary, Capitalista is not always a wealthy fat cat; being a Capitalista is a state of mind rather than a reflection of affluence. A strident and extraordinarily selfsatisfied Warrior, Capitalista takes every opportunity to loudly extol the superiority of the United States and routinely expresses a powerful aversion to all things European. When left-leaning Warriors attack the free enterprise system Capitalista will instantly spring into action, fiercely bludgeoning all socialists and fuzzy-minded liberals with Adam Smith, Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek. Though often rather limited in his range of interests, Capitalistas command of tendentious historical facts, abstruse statistical comparisons and arcane economic theory renders him nearly invincible in battle.
Capitalista
Centurion
Flame Warriors Centurion
Centurion tries to gain tactical advantage in battle by asserting that he is, or was at one time, in the military. He affects the brusque demeanor and clipped style of a drill sergeant, and intimidates opponents by sprinkling his messages with military verbiage and obscure acronyms. He reinforces weak arguments by constantly reminding other Warriors that he has done his duty, or served his country. Sometimes Centurion may even post pictures of military hardware or images of himself in fatigues brandishing a weapon. Centurion may actually have a military background, or he may just be a nut case - no one really knows. Centurion loathes and is loathed by Weenie, Artiste and Fragile Femme. His natural ally is Troglodyte.
Centurion
Duelists
Flame Warriors Duelists
In a perpetual closed-loop feud, the Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly attempts to mediate. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, they probably don't even remember the source of their mutual animus, nonetheless they enthusiastically loathe one another and seize every opportunity to exchange vitriol. When the other Warriors eventually weary of their endless kvetching the Duelists will be shouted down or Nanny will ban them. Even after getting the heave-ho from one forum, however, it is not unusual for them to find each other in another discussion group and the fighting will begin anew. Hate is sometimes as mysterious as love...
Duelists
Ent
Flame Warriors Ent
In bygone days Ents roamed the internet regularly making knowledgeable contributions to established and purposeful forums, but in recent times they have grown quiet. Indeed, Ents are so rarely heard from these days that some Netizens believe they no longer exist. When aroused from dormancy, however, Ent is an extremely powerful and ferocious Warrior, all the more formidable because he is venerated by veteran Warriors who will instantly spring to his defense. Warriors who chop and burn an Ent in battle will not earn glory, but will instead incite the enmity of the entire forum.
Ent
Klaxon
Flame Warriors Klaxon
WARNING!!! YOU MUST READ THIS!!! Klaxon, the internet Chicken Little, raises the alarm for each and every paranoid conspiracy theory, Federal Big-Brother scheme, internet hoax, and latest computer virus. No black helicopter alert is so ludicrous, no urban legend so implausible, that he will not pass it along as accepted fact (in ALL CAPS with multiple exclamation marks). Congratulations, you are recipient 16,747 of today's Urban Myth. CAUTION: Often Klaxon knowingly posts false alarms to foment mischief.
Klaxon
Net Rat
Flame Warriors Net Rat
Not every kid on the internet is an Enfant Provocateur; sometimes they're just Net Rat. Net Rat spends countless hours in front of the computer and loves to play at being a grownup. Imagine your chagrin if in a love and romance forum you've been pouring out your anguish over a recent messy breakup with your boyfriend, or you have finally mustered the courage to talk about some particularly lurid desires that have been throbbing in your libido, or perhaps you thought you found a romantic soulmate on the internet only to discover that your hot cyber lover turns out to be in junior high. Even worse, in a serious discussion forum you may think you have succesfully faked a convincing understanding of Spinoza and later discover that the only person you have really managed to fool is still reading Harry Potter. Well, don't feel too bad about it - some Net Rats can very convincing, but they will almost always slip and give themselves away at some point. WARNING: Perv will sometimes pretend to be Net Rat.
Net Rat
Mike Reed Illustration Click HERE to get a signed print of your favorite Flame Warrior. Click HERE to get FABULOUS Warriors wallpaper!
Pinko
Flame Warriors Pinko
Pinko has an angry, almost genetic loathing for privilege, greed, social exploitation, racism, sexism, homophobia, pro-lifers, the religious right, environmental degradation, the NRA, US imperialism, multinational corporations, big business, Republicans in general and George Bush in particular. Pinko openly admires Oliver Stone, Noam Chomsky and Michael Moore and anyone else who is critical of the US government and bourgeois culture. She ardently believes there is no enormity of which the United States is incapable and regards its entire history as an unbroken legacy of avarice, deceit and injustice. Though Issues, Weenie, Fragile Femme and sometimes Ideologue will defend Pinko in battle, her extremely predictable and tedious attacks eventually exhaust even those inclined to support her.
Pinko
Rebel Leader
Flame Warriors Rebel Leader
Rebel Leader has an uncanny ability to upset the settled order of a discussion forum. Other Warriors may be excellent in mano a mano combat, but Rebel Leader's charisma, political instincts and verbal skills enable him to rally a collective assult that can overthrow the Royals and even silence Cyber Sisters. Depending on the issue Rebel Leader uses to advance his attack he may draw allies from almost any of the other Warrior classes, but he can usually count on Loopy in the early stages of the conflict and Sycophant once the revolution is well underway. Once the revolution has succeeded, however, Rebel Leader quickly loses interest in the cause. As is the case with false King-Fu Masters, the bones of soi-disant Rebel Leaders litter the battlefields.
Rebel Leader
Rebel Without a Clue
Flame Warriors Rebel Without a Clue
Rebel Without a Clue's deep seated and infantile hostility to authority motivates his random and seemingly gratuitous attacks on list owners, SysOps and anyone else who attempts to maintain a modicum of order and civility in discussion forums. Differing markedly from Rebel Leader, he is unattached to any cause other than petulance for its own sake, and will therefore seldom inspire general insurrection. In his frequent and ineffectual attacks on the established order he will often cite the Bible, or the US Constitution to support incoherent arguments. Rebel Without a Clue NEVER reads forum FAQs, and loudly decries as fascism any enforcement whatsoever of forum rules.
Rebel Without a Clue
Garble
Flame Warriors Garble
Garble is a mystery: Is he a foreigner with only tenuous grasp of English? Is his brain addled by some powerful drug? Does he suffer a serious mental debility? Is he typing wearing a catcher's mit? Garble's rampant typos, malapropisms and seemingly aggressive use of execrable grammar can't be explained merely in terms of poor typing skills or the lack of a spell checker. Even non-English speakers generally do a better job of punctuation grammar and capitalization, and Garble is all the more puzzling because if one goes to the trouble of wading through the muddle of his messages a discernable idea will usually emerge. For example, in a forum discussion about a painting he might say, "Sorry the picchr the har is wrog. The culir. I liike the lips bot teh Paintng is sucs". When attacked for his random capitalization Garble might respond, "oPS i HITTED THE CAPDLOCK". Not surprisingly, he drives Grammarian and Nitpick absolutely nuts, but he is utterly impervious to any sort of correction and if their attacks persist he will sign off in a huff with something like, "yuor forum si stupef. bYE!" CAUTION: Garble may be Net Rat.
Garble
God
Flame Warriors God
In the beginning, before bandwidth, there was nothingness. Out of that endless void God and His heavenly host created...Arpanet, and it was good. But the scientific, military and computer angels Who dwelled in Arpanet were lonely, so They brought forth Browser, and the Web was born. It, too, was good and the children of the internet lived in peace and harmony and were fruitful and multiplied, but God warned His people not to eat of the forbidden fruit of commercialism. Alas, they disobeyed and soon barbarians drove the children of the internet out of Paradise. God, in His wrath, turned away from His people and condemned them to wander in the digital wilderness, but from time to time He will suddenly appear in mailing lists, chat rooms and discussion forums to remind us sinners that we could be saved if only we would hearken unto Him.
God
Stone Deaf
Flame Warriors Stone Deaf
Stone Deaf
Stone Deaf is one of the few truly invincible Warriors because nothing can shatter his impenetrable armor of non recognition. His primitive battle strategy is maddening effective; he simply refuses to acknowledge any arguments he doesn't like. Kung-Fu Master can hammer away with devastating blows, Cyber Sisters can screech in full throat and Profundus Maximus can expound until he drops, but Stone Deaf remains utterly oblivious as he advances his dogged and often repetitious attacks. In the early stages of battle a wide array of Warriors will fling themselves at Stone Deaf, but inevitably they fall back exahusted or lose interest when they see that their best weapons have no effect. His only real enemy is Admin, who has the power to eject him from the discussion forum.
The Swarm
Flame Warriors The Swarm
The Swarm
A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with a message that runs counter to its prevailing ideology, the Swarm will erupt without warning. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless attacks by individuals in a Swarm can be crushed or easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must yield. WARNING: Only those who are highly skilled in Swarm management techniques should attempt to wade into a Swarm hive. Protective clothing will not prevent a Warrior from getting a few stings.
Typhoid Mary
Flame Warriors Typhoid Mary
Typhoid Mary blunders across the internet spreading infection far and wide. Ignoring repeated warnings not to open attachments from unknown senders and unmoved by entreaties to run security patches and update virus definitions she is the unwitting vector for countless malicious hacks, Trojan horses and embedded viruses. Typhoid Mary believes that someone out there really DOES want her to have Good Times", or Win a Holiday, or that a nice person is actually sending her Penpal Greetings. She is intensely loathed by Propellerhead, and is the frequent object of Admins homicidal fantasies.
Typhoid Mary
Yuk Yuk
Flame Warriors Yuk Yuk
Apparently there is no joke too lame, too lurid or too inappropriate for Yuk Yuk, and he's absolutely determined to share with you every gobbet of stale drollery, every tired urban legend and every goofy web site on the internet. Yuk Yuk seldom contributes to any discussion, preferring instead to forward witticisms and bon mots culled from his voluminous archive. Of course, should other Warriors object to his off topic inanities they are accused of lacking a sense of humor.
Yuk Yuk

Flame Warriors Caricatures of Different Types of Online Personalities Computer Humor

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Flame 1

Flame Warrior Table of Contents

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Flame Warriors Furious Typer

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Big Dog and Me-Too

Flame Warriors Big Dog and Me-Too

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Big Dog and Me-Too

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Flame Warriors Cyber Sisters

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Flame Warriors Toxic Granny

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Flame Warriors Weenie

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Flame Warriors Tiny Yapper

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Innocence Abused Abused</font>

Flame Warriors Innocence Abused

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Innocence Abused Abused</font>

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Flame Warriors Stealth

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Flame Warriors Ennui

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Flame Warriors L'Enfant Provocateur

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Flame Warriors Nanny

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Flame Warriors Rat

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Flame Warriors Crybaby

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Flame Warriors Lonely Guy

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