Running head: AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS

Johnny Has Two Daddies: An Evaluation of Gay Dads Raising Kids Devan M. Monroe Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS Abstract Research on male same-sex parenting is minimal in comparison to other groups

raising children (i.e. lesbian parents and heterosexual parents). The present study seeks to examine depressive symptomatology, stress levels, and relationship/marital satisfaction among cohabitating male same-sex partners raising children under 18 years of age. Participants recruited from same-sex parenting support groups in the United States will complete an online survey. Results were expected to demonstrate that depressive symptomatology and stress levels will be highest and relationship/marital satisfaction will be lowest when children are younger. The opposite is expected to be true when children are older. The expected correlations were not found. Post hoc analysis revealed a positive correlation between the number of hours of housework a participant completed per week and their levels of relationship satisfaction. Suggestions for future research examining the relationship between housework and marital satisfaction within same-sex male couples is given.

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS Johnny Has Two Daddies: An Evaluation of Gay Dads Raising Kids Same-sex parenting, alongside same-sex marriage, is an emerging social issue in the United States. Gay and lesbian couples have adopted an estimated total of 65,500 children in the United States and more than 2 million gay and lesbian people are reportedly interested in adopting one or more children (Gates, Badgett, Macomber, &

Chamber, 2007). These statistics contrast with the national number of adoptions (by both same-sex parents and heterosexual parents) from 2007-2008, which totaled over 250,000 (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2011). According to the Family Equality Council, 19 states and Washington, DC in the US allow for jointly petitioned statewide adoptions of children by same-sex couples, and although most states have taken no formal position on same-sex adoption, five states legally restrict same-sex parents from petitioning for joint adoption (Joint Adoption Laws, 2013). Estimates from the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS; 2012) suggest over 400,000 children are in foster care and 104,236 of those children are actively awaiting adoption. With the number of same-sex couples wishing to adopt children topping 2 million, these children could find suitable homes, if legal petitioning was a viable option. Adopting a child is not easy, especially for same-sex parents. According to a study by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute (2003), one quarter of responses indicated birth parents requested same-sex couples not adopt their children and religiously affiliated adoption agencies sometimes reject same-sex applicants. Most research on same-sex parenting focuses on lesbian couples or a mixture of lesbian couples and heterosexual couples (e.g. Averett, Nalavany & Ryan, 2009; Goldberg & Smith, 2011; Goldberg, Downing & Sauck, 2007; Hicks, 2005). Thus, a perplexing

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS question presents itself: Do same-sex male partners respond to the psychological consequences of parenting in the same ways as heterosexual couples in terms of depression, relationship/marital satisfaction, division of household labor, and overall levels of stress? A few studies examine same-sex male partners who chose fatherhood without the context of a previous heterosexual relationship (Bergman, Rubio, Green &

Padrn, 2010). Other studies have been conducted to examine same-sex male parenting in the context of possessing solely a gay identity and the experience of adopting and coparenting children (Beers, 1996; Lewin, 2006; Quartironi, 1995; Stacey, 2006). This paper seeks to expand the breadth of research on same-sex male parents alongside the aforementioned studies by examining stress, depression, marital/relationship satisfaction and the division of household labor among same-sex male parents raising children. Parenting stress. Stress arising from parenting tends to begin soon after the childs birth or adoption. During the initial transition into parenthood, couples frequently demonstrate a dramatic increase in relationship conflict in addition to a decrease in positive interactions (Linville et al., 2010, p. 245) which can contribute to both issues within the relationship and decrease the quality of the parents parenting skills. Among heterosexual parents, levels of parenting stress tend to lead to poor parentchild relationships and parental depression has correlated to increased behavior problems in children (Deater-Deckard, 1998; Mustillo, Dorsey, Conover & Burns, 2011). Farr, Forssell, and Patterson (2010) found that lesbian and gay adoptive parents experience lower levels of overall stress related directly to parenting when compared to population norms, but the stress they did experience correlated to elevated behavior problems in their children. However, Tornello, Farr, and Patterson (2011) concluded that

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS gay fathers receiving less social support and holding a less positive gay identity were more likely to experience greater amounts of parenting stress. This contradicts other evidence suggesting greater amounts of social support influences parenting stress within familial systems (Crnic & Greenberg, 1990; Fagan, Bernd & Whiteman, 2007), yet furthers evidence presented by Ostberg, Hagekull, and Wettergren (1997) suggesting a lack of social support among women raising children correlated to higher levels of depression. The amount of social support a parent receives, whether male or female, gay or straight, seems to have an influence on the amount of parenting stress they will experience while caring for their child. However, it is important to note that types of social support varied between the studies, with emotional support as the main type of social support being measured. Crnic & Greenberg (1990, p. 1636) suggest that

instrumental support in the form of child-care assistance from their husbands or partners rather than only their emotional support to maintain their sensitivity to and enjoyment of their children may be more effective at mediating parenting stress than emotional support alone because of the stress alleviation associated with receiving physical help with tasks. Maintaining a same-sex relationship in a stigmatizing environment may contribute to feelings of lacking social support (Bos, 2010; Oswald, Goldberg, Kuvalanka & Clausell, 2008; Rosotsky, Riggle, Gray & Halton, 2007), yet possessing a positive gay identity (separately from the environmental context) may contribute to feelings of overall life satisfaction, lower depressive symptomatology, and increased self-esteem (Luhtanen, 2003). Some same-sex couples perceive stigma as an important solidifying factor to their relationship (Frost, 2011). This evidence suggests juxtaposition between the importance

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS of social support and the detrimental effect of being in a same-sex relationship in a geographical area or within a social circle where non-heteronormative relationships are stigmatized. If both partners possess a positive identity related toward their sexualities, the effect of stigmatization may be reduced within same-sex couples. Reflective of the thorough screening process typical during the adoption process, adoptive parents tend to report lower levels of parenting stress than biological parents (Brodzinsky & Pinderhughes, 2002). This contrasts findings by Bird, Peterson, and Miller (2002) that indicated strains on the family during the adoption (i.e. financial) might increase overall levels of distress. It is important to note, however, that some studies have indicated the number of children in a household may influence the stress levels experienced by adoptive parents, with fewer children being linked to less stress (Bird, Peterson & Miller, 2002). A study conducted by Harris and Turner (1986) found that same-sex male parents felt more parental satisfaction and tended to disagree with their partners less about disciplining the child compared to lesbian and heterosexual

parents in the sample. Certain demographics, such as educational and financial resources, may alleviate parenting stress on adoptive parents (Farr et al., 2010). Division of household labor. Research on male contribution to household tasks by Davis, Greenstein, and Gerteisen Marks (2007) found that, in cohabitating households, men performed more tasks while women performed fewer, and that the opposite was true when the couple was married. The task division between cohabitating heterosexual couples and married heterosexual couples tends to be more egalitarian than when the couple is married and divides tasks according to traditional gender roles. Gendered

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS breadwinner-homemaker roles tend to break down among cohabitating heterosexual couples, and thusly, household tasks are divided more equally (Baxter, 2005).

Married women in heterosexual relationships tend to have a more positive attitude and maintain higher standards toward tasks like cooking, cleaning, and caring for children, while men tend to have more negative attitudes about completing these same tasks (Poortman & Van Der Lippe, 2009). These findings contribute to the gendered nature of household tasks: as women felt more positively about household tasks and men felt more negatively, women contributed more time to completing these tasks. However, results of a study by Schneider (2012) indicated men tended to contribute more to maletyped household tasks (i.e. repairs or landscaping) when their jobs were considered womens work (i.e. nurse or social worker) than when their job was considered mans work (i.e. manager or business executive) but the same was not true for women. Furthermore, women tend to not perceive inequities in the division of household labor as unfair (Greenstein, 2009). The aforementioned studies on the division of household labor focus on heterosexual couples, creating a gap in the examination of this task division among same-sex couples. Research has shown that same-sex couples tend to split household chores and finances in a more egalitarian fashion, compared to heterosexual couples, who tend to divide tasks according to more rigid sex roles (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Peplau & Spalding, 2000). As noted by Solomon, Rothblum and Balsam (2005), analysis of task division among heterosexuals usually includes accounting for gender difference, as men tend to make more money than women. However, recent studies have also pointed to a heterosexually based series of gender roles, especially in gay fathers viewing their sexual

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS identity and their parenting identity as two separate entities and this may influence how partners choose to divide their household tasks (Schacher, 2002; Schacher, Auerbach & Silverstein, 2005). Yet through analysis of data on same-sex couples, the variable of gender should become irrelevant and allow for interpretation of income difference based on employment alone rather than through the lens of a rigid, gendered division, as both partners would presumably complete male-typed and female-typed tasks regularly. Marital/relationship satisfaction. Studies on heterosexual marriage illustrate a complex relationship between marital status, feelings of protection, and satisfaction.

Issues of anxiety and depression tend to be tied to overarching relationship issues (Pripp, Skreden, Skari, Malt & Emblem, 2010) and although marriage provides material benefits and certain social and psychological protections (Kamp Dush & Amato, 2005), men seem to gain more benefits from being married than women (Gove, 1972; Gove, Hughes & Style, 1983). Gove (1972) suggests this is due to the traditional role of women in marriage as the housewife compared to the husbands dual role as household leader and breadwinner. The husband has multiple outlets to find praise or satisfaction (i.e. at home and at work), while the wife only has one source for the same praise (i.e. in the home). However, with more women entering the workforce and the number of dual earner households increasing, recent research has refuted this finding (Wu, Schimmele, Penning, Zheng & Noh, 2012; Ranson, 2013). With the removal of gender roles in same-sex relationships, both partners receive equal opportunity for praise, as both would presumably take on the role of both household leader and breadwinner. Additionally, both male partners should gain the psychological protections that are attached to the

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS perceived stability of being married if the stability arises from marriage alone and the gender of the partners is unimportant. Studies conducted on marital satisfaction between heterosexual partners with children have been mixed. Van Egeren (2004) suggested that relationship satisfaction strikingly decreased following the birth of the first child, while other studies (e.g. Wallace & Gotlib, 1990; Dew & Wilcox, 2011) found little change or an increase in satisfaction following the addition of children. Research by Gorchoff, John, and Helson (2008) suggests that marital satisfaction increases as children age and leave the home. Because children are aging and leaving the home, parents have the opportunity to spend time with one another without having to supervise their children or worry about finding caretakers. The burden of childcare is removed and therefore may lead to fewer disagreements that would normally revolve around childcare (e.g. finding a babysitter). Perceptions of marital satisfaction tend to be linked with perceptions of overall life satisfaction among heterosexual couples (Campbell, Converse & Rodgers, 1976; Weingarten, 1985). Studies conducted on same-sex relationships illustrate that these couples tend to have similar feelings of relationship satisfaction and quality to heterosexual couples (Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007). Present study. Most literature examining same-sex parents perform comparative analyses between lesbian parents, gay parents, and heterosexual parents, or exclude gay parents from analyses altogether (e.g. Erera, 2002; Harris & Turner, 1986). The present study seeks to assess levels of stress, depression, and marital/relationship satisfaction among cohabitating same-sex male partners raising children, without the inclusion of

heterosexual or lesbian parents. It is hypothesized that the childrens age will correlate to

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS the levels of stress, depression, and satisfaction, with stress and depression lowest and

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satisfaction highest when the children are closer to the age of majority. Furthermore, it is hypothesized that the amount of housework a partner completes will mediate their feelings of depression and their overall marital/relationship satisfaction. Method Participants Same-sex male couples raising children were recruited for an online survey through flyer postings at several same-sex parenting support groups across the United States, via social networking websites (i.e. Facebook), and the use of Internet-based parenting forums. Criteria for participants to complete the online survey included: (1) participants must be male, (2) participants must be raising one or more child(ren) under the age of 18, and (3) the participants must be cohabitating with their male partner. Participants were invited to complete a survey examining parental stress on samesex parents. They were provided with hyperlinks to access the online survey at their own convenience. Demographics. Fifteen male participants completed the online survey. The average age of the participants was 44 years (SD = 11.04), with a range from 28 to 62 years. Relationship length ranged from 1 to 39 years, with an average duration of 17.75 years (SD = 12.14). Respondents reported average household incomes ranging from $30,000 to $700,000 (M = 228,333.33; SD = 187,917.79). The average number of paid work hours completed per week was 39.47 hours (SD = 13.07) and ranged from 0 to 65 hours. Participants reported completing an average of 12.00 hours of housework per week (SD = 6.52), ranging from 2 to 25 hours. Thirteen respondents identified as white, 2

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS identified as Hispanic. An overwhelming majority of participants completed college or postgraduate study. Participant relationships to their children were spread, with 5

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identifying as biological fathers, 9 as adoptive fathers, and 2 as legal guardians. A range of 1 to 4 children was present in each household, with the mean number of children in the household at 1.86 (SD = 0.95). Measures Parental stress. Feelings of parental stress were measured using the 18-item ( = .741) Parental Stress Scale (PSS; Berry & Jones, 1995). Items were rated on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 = strongly disagree; 3 = undecided; 5 = strongly agree). Included items were I enjoy spending time with my child(ren), The major source of stress in my life is my child(ren), and I am satisfied as a parent. Items were reverse coded as needed and summed, with higher sums indicating a higher presence of parental stress. Division of household labor. Division of household labor was assessed using items ( = .418) originally found in the Midlife Development in the United States survey (MIDUS; Brim, Ryff & Kessler, 2004). Participants were asked to choose the most appropriate answer to a vignette describing the completion of various household chores (i.e. cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, yard work, repairs, paying bills, washing childrens laundry, washing childrens dishes, cooking for children). This item was rated from 1 to 7 (1 = your spouse does a lot more than you; 4 = chores are split equally; 7 = you do a lot more than your spouse). Two additional items were included in this measure. In the first, participants were asked to input how many hours in a typical week they spent completing household

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS

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chores, while the second asked for input of how many hours their spouse spent per week completing household chores. Depression. Depression was measured using the Center for Epidemiologic Studies Depression Scale (CES-D; Radloff, 1977). The Scale consists of 20 items ( = .739) rated from 0 to 3 related to the participants perception of the proposed situation happening within the past week. Higher scores indicated a higher frequency of the situation occurring. Sample items include, I could not get going, I felt depressed, and I felt I was just as good as other people. Scoring of positive items was reversed. A higher sum indicates a larger presence of depressive symptomatology. Relationship satisfaction. Spaniers (1976) Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS) was used to assess satisfaction, agreement, cohesion, and affection in the participants relationship. The 32 items ( = .799) are scored from 0 (Never or Always Disagree) to 5 (All the time or Always Agree), with higher scored responses indicating more favorable situational adjustment. Sample items include, Do you confide in your mate? and How often do you discuss or have you considered divorce, separation, or terminating your relationship? Responses are summed to indicate overall levels of adjustment. Procedure Participants were provided with the hyperlink to the online survey through postings at same-sex parenting support groups, online support groups, and social networking websites. The study could be completed in approximately 30 minutes. Participation was entirely voluntary and informed consent was obtained at the beginning of the online survey via an electronic signature. Following completion of the online

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS survey, participants were redirected to a debriefing page and a text box to input their

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email address should they wish to be included in the randomized raffle for one of six $50 Visa gift cards as compensation for their time. Results Table 1 illustrates simple descriptive analyses of the sample, showing that participants were not significantly depressed or stressed and felt mostly satisfied with their relationship. Stress scores tended to fall in the within the first half of the total scale score (ranging from 26 50) indicating lower to mid-range levels of parental stress. Depression scores were more varied in their distribution, with a range of 0 13. These scores indicate an absence of depressive symptoms to near clinical diagnoses of depression. Adjustment scores ranged from 103 140, signifying mid-to-high levels of overall relationship satisfaction. Bivariate correlations were conducted to examine the relationships between childrens age and parenting stress levels, depressive symptomatology, and marital/relationship satisfaction. The expected negative correlation between childrens age with parenting stress and childrens age with depressive symptomatology was not present. The positive correlation between childrens age and marital relationship Table 1 Descriptive Statistics of Study Variables Variable Mean (M) Stress 35.92 Depression 5.46 Adjustment 119.15

Standard Deviation 6.44 ( SD) 4.18 10.73

Range 26 50 0 13 103 140

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS satisfaction was also absent.

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The sample size was too small to examine the potential mediation of housework that a participant completes on the relationship between depression and relationship/marital satisfaction. The present study would have needed at least 50 participants to be able to conduct that analysis. Post hoc analyses were conducted to examine a possible correlation between the number of hours of housework completed per week by the participant and marital/relationship satisfaction. There was a positive correlation between the number of hours of housework completed per week and marital/relationship satisfaction (r=0.579, p <0.05). Discussion The present study sought to examine the relationship between childrens age and the levels of stress, depression, and satisfaction experienced by same-sex male parents. Stress and depression were expected to be lowest and satisfaction was expected to be highest when the children were closer to the age of majority. The amount of housework a partner completes was expected to mediate their feelings of depression and their overall marital/relationship satisfaction. In the current sample, the anticipated correlations between childrens age and stress, depression, and satisfaction were not found. This lack of correlation may be explained by the tendency within the sample for high household incomes. By possessing greater sums of money, parents have the potential to mitigate their childcare to outside caretakers (i.e. daycare, nanny, or babysitter), thereby offsetting the stress and depressive symptoms they may have felt while maintaining high levels of relationship satisfaction.

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS In 2011, childcare costs tended to top $20,000 across the country (Child Care Aware of

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America, 2012). If parents are able to easily contribute more money to childcare outside the home, this may reduce parenting-related stress and depressive symptoms, regardless of the childs age. The small sample size did not allow for proper analysis of housework as a mediator of depression and marital/relationship satisfaction. However, post hoc analysis revealed a positive correlation between the number of hours of housework a participant completed per week and their levels of relationship satisfaction. This positive correlation may be caused by a partners desire to complete more housework to ensure relationship satisfaction remains high, especially in respondents who spend more time completing housework than at a paid job. The relationship between the number of hours spent completing housework and relationship satisfaction has been illustrated in other studies (e.g. Suitor, 1991), therefore reducing the likelihood of the correlation occurring at random or as a result of the small sample size. Limitations and Future Research Because of the small sample size, the present study served as a pilot study. Certain organizations contacted to promote the study indicated their services did not include men whose children were under 18. Furthermore, some mailings were returned as undeliverable, indicating the closure of certain organizations. Additionally, the study was available online over the span of six weeks. Should the survey be made available for a longer span of time, more participants may take part. Fifteen participants completed the survey for this study and, because of the small sample size, strong relationships between variables could not be determined. Most respondents were highly educated, wealthy

AN EVALUATION OF GAY DADS RAISING KIDS white men. A larger, more diverse sample may further reveal correlations between the variables examined in the present study; however, the demographics represented in the current sample are similar to demographics collected in other research on same-sex

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parents (i.e. highly educated, white parents with high incomes), reflecting the high cost of adoption and/or use of a surrogate to produce children (U.S. Census Bureau, 2011). Because of the participants ability to complete the study online or the potential of a participants partner to be in the vicinity when completing the survey, some self-report bias may have occurred. Participants were not explicitly asked to complete the survey privately, although they were guaranteed complete confidentiality related to their responses. Responses may have been skewed in order for the participant to either make a situation seem better than it is or, inversely, worse than it is. It may be useful to analyze couple data to understand relationships between the examined variables more thoroughly. The current study did not explicitly ask both partners in a couple to complete the survey. Therefore, analyses can only present a onesided account of each relationship dynamic. As indicated by the post hoc analysis, more examination on the impact of the division of household labor among same-sex male parents raising children related to their relationship satisfaction is needed.

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