"Alone But Never Lonely"

Most of us are alone at some time or another . . . even in a marriage, in a

courting relationship, or when we are single. Alone with deep seated personal
issues, alone with our individual thoughts that cannot be communicated to anyone,
and alone in our quest to find true meaning with God. Somehow, there are just some
things that we can't share with even the closest friend or marriage partner. Being
alone can either "make" or "break" us. In my experience, being alone has been one
of the most difficult trials to face. I have always built my life around
relationships, socializing and good friendships. Now, having to face starting life
in a new country, and another failed relationship, loneliness has been something I
have had to deal with in an urgent and desperate way. How do we deal with it in a
way that will "make" us.

If we depend on the relationships for our

happiness, we tend to "take" more from the
relationship than "give" to it.

What I have come to learn, is that when we rely on romantic relationships, in some
cases marriage relationships, and even general relationships for our happiness, we
tend to miss out on the deeper and richer ingredients that feed the people we have
those relationships with. In other words, if we depend on the relationships for
our happiness, we tend to "take" more from the relationship than "give" to it. My
times alone have taught me to depend on God for my happiness and inner
contentment. I believe personally, that once we have reached the point where we
can be totally content with God alone, God will supply all our needs for
relationships. As Paul says in Philippians 4:12, 19, "I have learned the secret of
being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether
living in plenty or in want . . . my God will meet all your needs according to his
glorious riches in Christ Jesus." In this unique position with God, we will then
be continuous "givers" to the people with whom we have relationships. What a
difference.

(God wants us to find happiness alone with Him first, before we look to
relationships, interests, academic pursuits, our jobs, or individual
accomplishments for our happiness)

Please let me share a few points with you that changed being lonely, to being
alone with God - an honor that many great bible heroes were blessed with, and that
made them the beacons of truth and inspiration that we know them for. Moses had to
spend 40 years alone in the desert before he could lead Israel . . . Joseph was
alone in a foreign country as a slave and then imprisoned . . . David was alone in
the pastures tending sheep . . . John the Baptist was alone in the wilderness . .
. Jesus spent 40 days and 40 nights alone in the wilderness before His ministry .
. . Paul was alone in Arabia before his ministry . . . John the Revelator was
alone on the isle of Patmos. The following points came to me in my times alone,
and in hurt and heartache:

1. The War to Control Our Thoughts

The worst part about being alone is having to deal with our thoughts and memories.
When there is no one to talk to, and the silence around us is filled by our
thoughts, what do we think about? Thoughts like, "why am I alone," or "I've been
treated unfairly," or "I wish I had someone special to be with me," or "how do I
get out of this situation I'm in?" keep racing round and round our restless minds.
While being alone, I have come to realize that our thoughts are under a constant
attack by the forces of evil. If you haven't already read the works of Roger
Morneau, please go get a copy of "Incredible Answers to Prayer," from your local
Adventist Book Center. He says that, "A satanist priest bragged to me how Satan
had forced the Creator to leave the devil's newly acquired domain. The man said
that Satan declared that such a demand was his legal right before the universe,
and that the devil had gotten his wish.

"At that time," the priest said, "the master (Satan) stated that he and his angels
would make themselves invisible to human beings also, thus leaving people free to
live their lives as they wanted to. He emphatically argued that the only fair way
for supernatural forces to influence human conduct should be by flashing thought
images into individual minds."

(Satan is constantly flashing negative, and discouraging, thoughts into our minds.
These thoughts are more severe when we are alone. There needs to be a focused
awareness to counteract his attacks).

Yes, there is a war between the forces of Good and Evil for the control of our
thoughts. Being alone makes us an easy target for Satan to hit us with happy
memories from the past, to hit us with hurtful thoughts from the past, to hit us
with angry thoughts because of our loneliness, and to hit us with thoughts of low
self esteem for not attracting people toward ourselves. He hits each person with
destructive thoughts uniquely tailored according to the specific experiences in
their lives that will haunt and terrorize them to the point of total despair.
Again Paul steps in to clarify this war for the control of our thoughts in 2
Corinthians 10:3-5, "For though we live in this world, we do not wage war as the
world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the
contrary, they (our weapons) have divine power to demolish strongholds. We
demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge
of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Here is the key. Being aware that God and Satan do their work in controlling our
lives, through controlling our thoughts. What is more powerful than our thoughts?
Every action or decision is born and raised in our thoughts. Think about it. So,
if every thought that comes into our minds is arrested, cuffed, taken captive, and
made obedient to Christ, God will be in control of our lives, and give us the
comfort, confidence and composure to face being alone. Remember that the thoughts
we think aren't necessarily "our" thoughts. They are put there by Satan. And even
if they are "our" thoughts, they too can turn against us and pull us down. Our
thoughts must be God's thoughts. We need a constant flow of God's positive and
powerful thoughts crowding out our personal thoughts and the thoughts Satan plants
into our minds.

2. Turning Self Awareness into God Awareness

Being alone tends to draw our focus onto ourselves. A continual focus onto
ourselves causes a slow downward spiral in our confidence and composure. Oswald
Chambers in his inspirational devotional, My Utmost For His Highest, August 20,
talks about turning self awareness into Christ awareness. He says, "Whenever
anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once,
asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life
that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the
disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to
remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness
will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-
awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and
self-pity is satanic. Don't allow yourself to say, "Well, they have just
misunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing to
me; I'm sure I must have this cleared up with them already." Learn to leave others
alone. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you
until your completeness in Him is absolute."

What really helped me to change my self awareness into Christ awareness is to

acknowledge every single thing around me as a gift of God . . . either a created
gift, like the birds, the trees, the plants and animals, or an unseen gift like
man abilities, friendships, health, and even my loneliness. When I involved God in
everything I did, I couldn't help becoming more and more Christ aware and "Christ
appreciative" as I saw Him in and around me in everything. I then turned to the
universe to get my thoughts stretching even further . . . wow, I opened the
encyclopedia and leant that our galaxy alone is 100,000 light years long and
30,000 light years wide. [See picture above] (One light year is the distance light
would travel in one year at the speed of light, which is 186,000 miles per
second). My Christ awareness really took on a new meaning when I asked the Holy
Spirit to command my thoughts away from myself to the endless and the limitless
dimensions surrounding the Great Creator and Controller of the universe. If the
Great Creator and Controller of the universe can control the countless galaxies,
can't he control my seemingly complicated life and give me the caring, the
comfort, and the companionship I need to enjoy my life to its fullest.

3. Building Our Lives Around God

In my life so far, I have learnt that we can't build our lives around anything or
anyone for lasting happiness. Nothing lasts. Whatever we build our lives around to
find happiness, can disappear at any given point. Our jobs, our families, our
health, our interests and hobbies, or whatever it is that gives us happiness and
satisfaction, can crumble and fall apart at any time. How is it that we build our
lives around things like this? I lost my father through a tragic accident at the
age of 4 years. My mother, only about 29 at the time, had her whole life come
apart in a matter of hours. I have had friends that have lost their jobs due to
companies closing, I personally have had a relationship that I thought would end
in marriage, fall apart on me months before we were due to be married. As humans
we migrate toward the comfort zone of having many activities, people and things
around us for our happiness. God's heart aches. God created you and me to be in a
intimate, romantic relationship with Him, where He would be the central focus and
quest of each of our lives. The word "know" in the Bible is the same word used for
the beautiful act of love making between a man and a woman. (See picture below).
Jesus said in John 17:3, "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the
only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." It is that simple.

How do you get to know a person? There is only one way. Spending time together.
The people I have spent the most time with, I got to know the best. It is obvious
. . . but why is it not so obvious with God? Where do you spend most of your time
every day? How much time do you spend with God every day? I mean quality, focused,
uninterrupted time, alone with Him? Most of us have grown up with the concept that
attending church is enough to get to know God . . . maybe attending prayer meeting
or home cell meetings as well, if we are still very new to Christianity.

The Vine and The Branches

Please turn to John chapter 15 and read verses 1-8. What does it say to you about
spending time with God? Let me paraphrase this section for you by personally
applying the analogy that Jesus uses to the routine of our everyday lives:

(v1) I, Jesus Christ, am the source of all truth, of all knowledge, and all
holiness, and my Father is the guardian and overseer. (v2) My Father cuts off
every person from me that doesn't constantly spend time alone with me and draw
from these awesome qualities in me. While every person that does draw from these
qualities, my Father allows to experience trials and loneliness so that they will
draw more and more from me, by realizing their ever increasing need, and become
more and more like me as a result. (v3) You (the disciples - and those who have
found this truth), have already become like me because of the word I have spoken
to you. (v4) If you constantly, (or daily), spend time alone with me, I will
constantly spend time alone with you. You cannot be like me by yourself, you must
constantly spend time alone with me. (v5) I am the source of all truth, of all
knowledge, and all holiness, and you are my students. If you come and constantly
spend time alone with me, you will become like me. Without this, you cannot do
anything to be like me. Rather don't try and change yourselves. It won't work.
There is nothing you can do to try and be a better person, or to find true be a
happiness and be fulfilled without constantly spending time alone with me. (v6) If
you don't constantly spend time alone with me, you will always have an empty void
in your heart, you will become legalistic and struggle to be a better person, and
Satan will come in and control your thoughts, and you will be as good as dead when
it comes to spiritual matters. (v7) If you constantly spend time alone with me, in
quiet meditation, study of my Word, and prayer, in the beginning of every day, you
will not just know my will, you will BE my will. Then you will ask anything you
wish, as my will, and I will do it for you, because instead of looking for answers
in prayer, you will just look for me. (v8). This will glorify my Father, when you
constantly draw truth, knowledge and holiness from me, so that you eventually have
my mind in you, and Satan can no longer put his thoughts into your minds. You will
then do all the things that I do.

Ellen White, in her awesome book "The Desire of Ages," summarizes this portion of
John 15 on pages, 675-677 in the chapter, Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled:

"The connection of the branch with the vine, He said, represents the relation you
are to sustain to Me. The section, (small branch), is engrafted into the living
vine, and fiber by fiber, vein by vein, it grows into the vine stock. The life of
the vine becomes the life of the branch. So the soul dead in trespasses and sins
receives life through connection with Christ. By faith in Him as a personal Savior
the union is formed. The sinner unites his weakness to Christ's strength, his
emptiness to Christ's fullness, his frailty to Christ's enduring might. Then he
has the mind of Christ. The humanity of Christ has touched our humanity, and our
humanity has touched divinity. Thus through the agency of the Holy Spirit man
becomes a partaker of the divine nature.

This union with Christ, once formed, must be maintained. Christ said, "Abide in
Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in
the vine; no more can ye bear fruit, except ye abide in Me." This is no casual
touch, no off-and-on connection. The branch becomes a part of the living vine. The
communication of life, strength, and fruitfulness from the root to the branches is
unobstructed and constant. Separated from the vine, the branch cannot live. No
more, said Jesus, can you live apart from Me. The life you have received from Me
can be preserved only by continual communion. Without Me you cannot overcome one
sin or resist one temptation.
"Abide in Me, and I in you." Abiding in Christ means a constant receiving of His
Spirit, a life of unreserved surrender to His service. The channel of
communication must be open continually between man and his God. As the vine branch
constantly draws the sap from the living vine, so we are to cling to Jesus, and
receive from Him by faith the strength and perfection of His own character.

The root sends its nourishment through the branch to the outermost twig. So Christ
communicates the current of spiritual strength to every believer. So long as the
soul is united to Christ, there is no danger that it will wither or decay . . .
When we live by faith on the Son of God, the fruits of the Spirit will be seen in
our life; not one will be missing.

My Father is the husbandman . . . Jesus with solemn tenderness explained the

purpose of the husbandman. The pruning will cause pain, but it is the Father who
applies the knife. He works with no wanton hand or indifferent heart. There are
branches trailing upon the ground; these must be cut loose from the earthly
supports to which their tendrils are fastening. They are to reach heavenward, and
find their support in God. The excessive foliage that draws away the life current
from the fruit must be pruned off. The overgrowth must be cut out, to give room
for the healing beams of the Sun of Righteousness. The husbandman prunes away the
harmful growth, so that the fruit may be richer and more abundant.

God desires to manifest through you the holiness, the benevolence, the compassion,
of His own character. Yet the Savior does not bid the disciples labor to bear
fruit. He tells them to abide in Him. "If ye abide in Me," He says, "and my words
abide in ye, you shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." It is
through the word that Christ abides in His followers. This is the same vital union
that is represented by eating His flesh and drinking His blood. The words of
Christ are spirit and life. Receiving them, you receive the life of the Vine. You
live "by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4. The
life of Christ in you produces the same fruit as in Him. Living in Christ,
adhering to Christ, supported by Christ, drawing nourishment from Christ, your
bear fruit after the similitude of Christ."

Being Alone - A Time For Renewal

Oswald Chambers gave me such inspiration in my time of loneliness, that I just
have to share it with you. I never realized that my life was so crowded with
things and people that God couldn't teach me anything. Please take a moment to
read this section from his book, My Utmost For His Highest, the devotional for 13
January: "When God get us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation,
disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted desires, a broken friendship, or a new
friendship --when He get us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless,
unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us . . . There are vast
areas of stubbornness and ignorance the Holy Spirit has to reveal in each of us,
but it can only be done when Jesus gets us alone. Are we alone with Him now? Or
are we more concerned with our own ideas, friendships, and cares for our bodies?
Jesus cannot teach us anything until we quiet all our intellectual questions and
get alone with Him."

Now, I have turned my time alone from initially "breaking" me, to now "making" a
whole new life for God and I. I now build my whole life around God, and not around
the things that can so easily let me down. I believe, that toward the time of the
end, God, in His great love, will slowly remove all the things that people build
their lives around to gain happiness and contentment. Like the rich young ruler
that came to Jesus. He was doing everything that society and the church expected
of Him to do. From the outside he was seen as a saved and a really good person.
But Jesus saw that his life wasn't built around God. He saw one thing that gave
him happiness above God. His riches. So Jesus gently touched on that area of his
life . . . but he turned away in disappointment because he just couldn't let go of
that one thing. (Mark 10:17-22).

Jesus says to us in Matthew 10:37, that "anyone who loves his father or mother
more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than
me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow me is
not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life
for my sake will find it." I believe the rich young ruler's "cross" and his "life"
were one and the same thing . . . his riches. For you and me it could be
loneliness, it could be a relationship, it could be a job, or it could be a sport,
it could be a "cherished" or "secret sin," or it could be a home and a family . .
. whatever it is, it has to be laid on the altar before God. We just need to come
alone before God and say, "God, teach me to be alone with you . . . teach me to
lay my "cross" and my "life" as a sacrifice on your altar, and offer it up to you
without a question."

In conclusion, read the February 6 devotional from Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for
His Highest:
"Are you ready to be poured out as an offering? It is an act of you will, not your
emotions. Tell God your are ready to be offered as a sacrifice for Him. Then
accept the consequences as they come, without any complaints, in spite of what God
may send your way. God sends you through a crisis in private, where no other
person can help you. From the outside your life may appear to be the same, but the
difference is taking place in your will. Once you have experienced the crisis in
your will, you will take no thought of the cost when it begins to affect you
externally. If you don't deal with God on the level of your will first, the result
will be only to arouse sympathy for yourself.

"Bind the sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar." (Psalm 118:27). You
must be willing to be placed on the altar and go through the fire; willing to
experience what the altar represents--burning, purification, and separation for
only one purpose--the elimination of every desire and affection not ground in or
directed toward God. But you don't eliminate it, God does. You "bind the sacrifice
. . . to the horns of the altar" and see to it that you don't wallow in self-pity
once the fire begins. After you have gone through the fire, there will be nothing
that will be able to trouble or depress you. When another crisis arises, you will
realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do. What fire lies ahead in
your life?"

Tell God you are ready to be poured out as an offering, and God will prove Himself
to be all you ever dreamed He would be."

God be with you.

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