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Six Stupid Things People Do To Mess Up There Lives Copyright 2010 by Jonathan Figaro. All Rights Reserved. For more information, visit jonathanfigaro@gmail.com Try And Steal This And I Will Find You :) enjoy the read!
Silly Introduction....................5 Stupid Optomisum...............................8 Crazy Success....................................................22 Screwball Dreams .........................................................................39 Bonkers Imagination...............................................53 Ludicrious Goals..................................................................................................64 Idiotic Peace ..............................................80
Silly Introduction
Fear: Yes, reason. Im just trying to protect you from the cold, cruel world we live in. Without a diploma or years of experience, I hate to say it, but you cant win. Just look at the competition you have out there. Every author in your field of work has more degrees than a burn victim. They are arsonists in the game of life. You dont even know how to light a single match yet! Jonathan: Thats pretty cold! Fear: Youre a no-name! Who still takes the 3 train and eats Subway sandwiches every weekday while trying to stay afloat financially? Confined in this sad little story called your life, you just cant make a difference. Just go back to school and get a degree, a house with a nice pool, a few kids, and a wife who plays her role in the family. Be more like your aunts, uncles, and cousins. Theyre phenomenal examples of what people expect from you. Jonathan: Umm You know a wise man once told me... Fear: Oh, not this again! Jonathan: To expect more from myself than what others expect from me. And if anyone tries to cut my wings, I should build myself and fly in another direction. Fear: What (fill in the blank) are you trying to do, Jonathan? Are you trying to destroy what we had? Are you trying to push me away from your life forever? Because thats what youre doing; youre ripping my soul apart. And if you get deep enough, you wont be able to mend the patches. Im lying in a ditch between a rock and a hard place. Youre my way out. Jonathan: Your way out? Listen, what we had was false. I believed your lies. I believed mediocrity was cool because everyone around me was living in the same conditions or worse. I believed stupidity was like frequent flyer miles. Everyone has them, so why dont I fly first class? I believed in your words of wisdom, which were really words of hurt and solitude. Youre the one who betrayed me, not I. You cut out my heart and threw away every vessel. My heart is no longer beating, my friend. Goodbye. Fear: So what, youre leaving me now? Jonathan: For good. Its time for a change like the seasons. So long, my good friend. (Pause)
~6~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Sometimes fear can keep you from doing what you think is right. It can keep you out of sight and out of mind. Until you let go of it, fear can make you oblivious to seeing what you can really do. When you step outside the green zone into the desert storm, you begin to realize that all that you have is yourself and a supporting cast of trustworthy friends or slovenly foes. Cast away the essence of obligation. Become obligated only to get what you want. Being scared is a natural inclination. We must look in the mirror and realize one thing: If its to be, its up to me. So today, Ive taken my own advice and cut the wings of fear, and now Im freefalling. Where will I appear? Will I disappear forever? Who knows? All I know is Ive let go of something that has taken me nineteen years to get rid of. So turn the page. Take hold of my vision. Judge me not, but listen and ask yourself if you see yourself in me. I bet youll feel a sense of camaraderie with the words I use to express my harsh reality. But until we meet again, I wish you success in every way possible. - Peace
~7~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Chapter 1
Stupid Optimism
Carrie screams, I hate myself and I hate my life. My husband is a jerk who couldnt care less about me or his new baby boy. He struts around the house never showing affection and barely pays the bills. He certainly falls short of making me lust for him. Back when we first started to date, he couldnt keep his hands off me. But now, he keeps those hands in his pockets. Why is my life this way? Why is this happening to me? What can I do? With sincerity and poise, I glanced into her eyes and said, Its right there. Thinking she had a fly on her shoulder, Carrie missed the point. Its your attitude, I said. The my life sucks and so does my husband persona is whats killing you. Your anger and rage toward yourself and others is whats keeping you from prosperity: physical and non-physical. You need to take responsibility for your life and move into the ranks of self-sufficiency. No one is responsible for your happiness besides you. Author and notable educator Charles Swindoll, once said, Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. An attitude of distress leads to misfortune while a heart set upon brilliant thinking reflects those thoughts and ideas. Unfortunately, most of us are usually too worried about making it through the day to keep up a positive attitude. Why is that? Why is one man sad, and another man happy? Why is one woman joyous and prosperous, and another woman poor and miserable? Why is one child fearful and anxious, and another full of faith and confidence? Why is one man a great success, and another man a failure? Why is one man living a life of luxury, while another man barely gets by? Why is one woman relaxed and another gains frustration over petty annoyances such as trying to squeeze ketchup out of a bottle? The answer is attitude. A positive attitude speaks every form of dialect on this big blue island in space. An attitude of optimism brings out positive results in all of our doings. With an attitude of pessimism, our minds blind us to love, happiness and success. Visually impaired to the causes and effects of our realities, weve turned into a society diagnosed with cancer of the mind, fear of the heart, and frustration of the anus.
~8~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Attitude is a one of those small words that makes a big difference. Your attitude is the gyrocompass of your universe. All you have to do is change your attitude to reflect the life you want to live, and youll have it. Your persona is one of the two things: Empowering or Disempowering. Empowering thoughts make you feel as if youre on top of the world 24-7. Its the ability to say yes to life. Disempowering thoughts keep you feeling far from your best. Theyre the I hate my life, Everything seems to be going wrong, What is wrong with my boyfriend today?, or Maybe I need to light up a cigarette kinds of thoughts. These thoughts cause you to feel mentally asleep, lying down in a pool of misery day in and day out till the casket lid drops. Were surrounded by infinite riches, yet we fail to see the great untapped potential within us. Inside each and every one of us is a gold mine, glazed with infinite potential, unexplainable resources, and sugar-coated greatness. It may be hard to see now, but by the end of this book youll begin to believe in Never Never Land as if you were a young boy in green trunks with pointy ears. The first thing you must do is change your thinking. As the saying goes, The only thing which makes a man a man is his mind. Realize that within your head is a vast amount of unlimited potential ready to be released once you unshackle fear from its cage and cultivate a positive attitude.
~9~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
He continued, Im not confident enough to talk to these girls out here, man! Every time I approach a chick I feel light-headed, my stomach gets queasy, and I lose sight of what to say. I sometimes just end up standing there like a douche with my hands in my pockets looking for a miracle to take place. I smiled, for I too was in his position quite some time ago, I replied in a sincere gesture: In order to reap the rewards of female you have to become more than whom you are now. You have to be confident, assertive, and present in the moment. These three aspects are mandatory in order to reach your desired result. This is no different than a mathematical problem, or a video game you know youll conquer. How you come off is what matters most; its best to be yourself. Before bed and in the morning after wake up, say 1. I am great with women. 2. Women want to be with me everywhere I go. 3. I can reach the goals I set for myself. 4. Reuse, recycle, and repeat. Three weeks later he found himself a girlfriend and Im proud of him and his Johnson.
clergyman, social reformer,abolitionist, andspeakerin the mid to late 19th century stated The first hour is the rudder of the day. William was heading down a path of self-destruction before I helped him. His past conditioning came from the repetition of negative words such as: I cant, I suck; I cant believe I didnt talk to her, etc. So his subconscious mind recorded these emotionalized events, turning his worst nightmare into a Mozart screenplay gone badly. By changing the message he affirmed to himself on a daily basis, William conquered his fears practically overnight. You always have a choice in the words you use. You can either affirm a positive lifestyle or a negative escape pod. William has chosen to say, I can rather than I cant.
Flashbacks
After separating from my girlfriend last year, I too had a fabricated perception of the opposite sex. Assuming every girl I met was out to hurt me, I avoided love at all cost. I swapped unconditional appreciation for great sex after every house party or bar hopping escapade, finally leading to Sunday morning confessions. I diluted my loss of love by any means necessary; sex diverted my ego from thinking about the ex-girlfriend, but not for too long. After knocking over a glass of vodka onto my laptop by accident -- Eureka! -- I realized I had to confront her one last time in order to truly move on with my life. Not a selfish rant on how hurt I felt, but a mature conversation which would lead to neutrality. But no way was I going to call! My ego kept me from taking the first step. I had way too much pride for that. But before the idea of how could reach me, another bra strap was loosened and a condom would be congratulated as a life saver. Yet, the determination to end my promiscuity for the time being was essential. With Liz Claiborne jeans at my bedside and half a cigarette disintegrating from the oxidation, my cell phone rang. Assuming it to be another lost soul or female trapeze artist, I ignored the call. It was sent to voice mail.
~11~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
My body screamed in pain as I reached over to the phone. As my heart dropped, I recognized the area code more than the number. Hey john its-------, If you want to, if you have time, I think we need to talk about some things. So if you want to, give me a call back. The voice mail sounded like she wanted some hot loving. But this was my imagination going rampant as usual. Why are you calling me up? I said to myself. Going on a sixty second tantrum before realizing my one night stand was still sleeping by my side. I convinced myself to deal with the situation later. Almost four hours after receiving the voice mail, it was time to face the past. The most nerve-wracking phone call I ever made in my life was this very moment. My anger over her neglecting how I felt was never brought up. I surprisingly matured more than I expected. We laughed over the phone and I wished her the best after she told me shed found a job. I knew you would get back on your feet. Good luck on your new job. I wish you the best and Ill call you back in twenty. Those were the last phrases spoken between us before I hung up the phone. Leaving her in the back of my life, Ive yet to redial her number. I realized after hearing her voice for the last time, I was so far gone from she wanted me to be: A friend. I couldnt play that position after her love blitzed me with seven seconds on the clock and fifteen yards away from the touchdown. I left the situation happy for her progress toward her goals. I have not heard from her to this day, and I hope shes doing well. I live my life expecting the best, and I hope she does the same. Some other guy will be lucky to have her, for I believe all women are born queens, yet few realize it. I hope she does.
A Lesson Learned
Ive learned you must forgive and forget if you want to live a successfully and be sane. Only stupid people hold grudges and cling to past mistakes, keeping them from achieving greatness. They cant seem to get rid of the bully from 69 or 73, which keeps them stagnant and shackles right thinking, preventing success or happiness from emerging into their lives.
~12~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Attitude holds most of you back from moving past irrelevant decisions made ten years ago. If you hold on to the past, it will affect your mood, keeping you from reaching any goal you set forth for yourself. The secret to a great life doesnt lie within the mist of resentment or guilt, but through your maturity and growth as a human being. To be able to see the glory in leaving the past behind, you have to envision possibility. Ask yourself this question: Do I want to be a replication of last year, or an improvement of this very moment? The fact is, your attitude at this very moment is a recycled pattern of thought, positive or negative. Reinforced ideologies, beliefs, emotions, and expectations: this is what you are right now. What you say to yourself, positive or negative, cultivates your character, chiseling away at the bone structure of your being. The words you say to yourself, pictures you envision, attitudes held through association, and personal expectations shape you in every given moment. Be open to the possibility of growing smarter by the hour, not dumber by the second. Regrets hold millions from bank account increases, birthday celebrations, and stock exchange advice Martha Stewart never passed up. Learn to grow up as you grow old. Its all up to you.
Walk With Me
Last Christmas I met a young man, Jacob, who was traveling from Toronto, Canada to New York City. The temperature was below 14 degrees as he took refuge inside a luxurious department store. An illustrious array of expensive athletic footwear and apparel was arranged in size order. A pair of sneakers inspired by art master Piet Mondrian caught this young mans attention with its visual magnificence. Simplistically styled with red, yellow, white, and black colors, these kicks stayed true to the early 20th century De Still Art Movement. They hit stores in limited supply and were priced very high, but he knew he was in the sights of a true gem. Attracted to this wonderful pair of sneakers, he said to himself, I cant afford it. He rubbed his nose, fighting a long winter cold he had caught from a floozy down in Vegas last week. Jacob held in his possession The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. Having learned to affirm only the positive, he reversed his verbal remark and affirmed, quoting loudly, I CAN AFFORD IT! He later recalled causing quite a disturbance: A sales rep confronted me and asked me if everything was okay. I replied, I was practicing my Warrior cry, Ill keep it down. Jacob and I laughed hysterically upon stationing our glutinous maxim on the bus benches.
~13~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
I made sure I overwhelmed my mind with what I can do- not what I cant, he said, and I agreed. Later that same day he entered his Brownstone apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Turning the knob slightly while holding up his backpack on his left shoulder, a package barricaded his entry. To his surprise, his girlfriend of two years, Caroline, had purchased him the same sneakers hed nearly dismissed. He said, I will never say I cant do anything or get anything as long as I live. Even though I didnt purchase the item myself, my positive attitude kept me in alignment to receive what was naturally mine. Ending our conversation, he stated, I paid Caroline back with some midnight loving. I told him to hold off on the details, stepping onto the B8 bus as I strapped on my North face book bag. Jacobs experience taught me several things. First, I need to get myself a girl who will buy me sneakers then let me repay her with some late night loving. Second, the mind is more powerful than I ever could imagine. And third, Jacob has inspired me to keep my words, actions and mental pictures congruent with what I want to experience.
~14~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Attack the parts of my life I was afraid of. In order for me to reach the level of success I desired, I had to conquer the fears that kept me grounded for 21 years. I no longer wanted to have a boss. I wanted to be my own boss. I no longer wanted to take the train. I wanted a G4 airplane. I no longer wanted wages, I wanted profits. So I jumped off the ledge of fear and grew my wings on the way down. I soon realized that when youre soaring 30,000 feet above ground, the fall doesnt creep into your mind as often as youd think. You begin to enjoy the journey and the beautiful view, a view that can only be seen by those who leave their comfort zone and appreciate ambiguity. So why are you still holding on to the ledge?
Mr. Samson was impressed with Mr.Gelins sincerity and ambition. He proposed a way for Mr. Gelin to work ten extra hours each weekend, and Mr. and Mrs. Gelin soon moved into their new home. Why? Because Mr. Gelin took action. Mr. Gelin didnt allow his current circumstance to hold him back from devising a plan to reach his goal. He thought about what to do and used action to cure his fears, just as William and Jacob did. These men used positive action to take their lives to a happier place. Happiness can only be achieved through progress toward a desire. You must start the change as I did, stepping out of depression and into euphoria.
no longer obese. Teased as Fat Ass, Fatty Mick, Fat Burger and The Milk Shake Man since the age of 12, David no longer saw himself through the opinions of others, but as what he thought of himself.
Attitude
We all want good results in our work, home, and social interactions. And the most important single factor to guarantee results day in and day out is a healthy attitude. Attitude is the position or bearing indicating action, feeling, or mood. Its your actions, feelings, or moods that dictate the actions, feeling, or moods of the people around you. Your attitude tells others what you expect in life. If your attitude is fixated on false conclusions mixed with gloomy anticipation, then others tend to perceive that negativity. But if your attitude is cheerful, positive, and expectant, then you will create a positive outcome for yourself. You see, we tend to live up to our own expectations and the expectations others place on us. Do people tend to smile, approaching you in a cheerful manner? Your answer to this question will tell you about your attitude. If the answer is no, then a dynamic shift in perspective is all you need.
~18~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Cali-Forn-I-A Experience
Long ago, my oldest friend, Khalfani Saunders, moved to California for the winter. I accompanied him for a weekend in search for lust with the opposite sex. Still on my journey to find myself, I said, Why not do it with some women? I was in need for some sexual healing and the enjoyment of the California rays. Across the street from my friends house lived a couple who just moved there from Buffalo. The husband was an avid fisherman and his wife loved the warm weather. After just two months in California, the couple decided to leave. The husband said, My wife hates it here, she hasnt made any friends. The women of the community have left her strictly alone. I asked him, Has she let the other women know she is interested in participating in community activities? He stopped what he was doing and looked at me, No, she hasnt! She has been waiting for the women to ask her. She had been waiting for them to come to her. So they thought of her as a reclusive, as a person who was not interested in making friends and so they left her alone. He began nodding in agreement, Thats exactly what happened! Of course, the women should have come to her and invited her to tea, or lunch, but they were reacting to her. She didnt know the community could only give her back a reflection of her own attitude. She was a woman in her 60s who was never taught the first principle of effective living: Your surroundings are often a merciless mirror of your attitude. Stupid Thought: Poor Attitude, Poor Results. Good Attitude, Good Results. Great Attitude, Great Results. I left the scene with a glimmer of despair on my face. Expecting people to approach you is like expecting to graduate from college without paying tuition. It aint happening! This woman was asking for the impossible. I left California that afternoon dwelling on the narrow, darkened thinking I was exposed to. Seeing myself in this woman, I came to grips with my past. Shyness in many ways was my self-esteem shouting out, SOMEBODY TALK TO ME! Yet nobody ever truly did. I sought to be alone only because I was in fear. Fear of being rejected by someone I didnt even know. But I learned to step outside of myself, to experience the joy of friendship, love, and excitement. Conquering this fear was never easy, but worth every failure and stomach ache. I resolved a long time ago to never let
~19~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
fear keep me from succeeding. Of course this will be revealed in due time. But the point is you cannot live in fear if you want to have fun and live life. Learning this new habit takes time, but once it becomes a knit part your life, you only have to cheer yourself onward. American psychologist and philosopher William James classically stated, Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of minds. Most people dont think about their attitude; instead, they are poised to react to any stimuli they encounter. There are so many human beings taking a narrow, darkened attitude toward life, fulfilling the prophecy of their attitude. Your world can be bright with hope and passion, or dark and lonely. If you have an attitude of failure, youre whipped before you start. Expect the best from every situation youre put into. The world will give you back exactly what you put out in attitude. You are responsible for keeping a smile on your face and happy thoughts in your mind, no one else. A person with a poor attitude will become a magnet for unpleasant experiences, an example of doom-fulfilling prophecy. You paint your world with what you think in attitude. Its hard to convince people that the world they experience is based on their attitude. They believe if people would act kindly to them, then so would they. But it has to start with you; let it begin today. No matter what a person does for a living, if you find them doing an outstanding job its because of their attitude. As Reverend King wisely wrote, If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well. Successful people take the attitude that they can accomplish what they set out to do. Intellect is not required; muscle and physique are not necessary. All you need is an attitude of I can. Focus on the reasons that you will reach your goals, rather than the ways you could fail. Keep your attitude positive, cheerful, and expectant and you will succeed. Nothing will change until you do. Changing your attitude is the first step to changing your life. One good way to develop a good attitude is though practice. Read positive material each day for 30 minutes, associate with positive friends, smile more, and remind yourself that attitude directly impacts your environment as many times possible. Do this and you will place yourself with the top five percent of people who control their attitude, therefore controlling their lives. Place yourself on the road to that which you seek. Dont let the poor attitudes of other people infect you as strongly as the common cold. Stay away from these people if you want to stay healthy. Dont waste time talking about your problems. It wont help you, and it cannot help others. Your thoughts are what are most important. The only way
~20~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
you can reverse your troubling circumstances and elevate your mind is to keep your ideas filled with enthusiasm and excitement for life. Your attitude is all you need to start moving in the right direction. I have already given you the road map. Which path will you take? I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. - Winston Churchill
~21~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Chapter 2
Crazy Success
One of my conscious friends, Jason Ross, picked me up from my home. He is a devoted high-school friend who believes in C.R.E.A.M Cash Rules Everything Around Me. His ideas enhanced my dream tremendously one day. But let me take you back a few months earlier. Sitting in my older brothers Nissan Maxima, I had picked up Nana (another high school friend), Jason, and James with the intention to head down to Manhattan. Still scrambling over my failed business and positive mindset, I had to save gas, so we opted for the L train on Rockaway Parkway in Brooklyn. Seated on the subway benches of a train car packed with unconscious pedestrians, our conversation took new heights. Jason was expressing his anger toward formal education. As a college dropout myself, I felt pressed to interject. Luckily I resisted, hearing nine words which changed his life forever. Expressing his anger over traditional teaching, Jason said, I feel like everyone in my classroom is programmed! Already a conscious thinker myself, with the veteran James on the wing and Nana listening closely, we looked at each other in non verbal agreement. James then began to unravel the truth about life. He said, Glance around you, Jason. We may be in a subway car filled with people, but in reality you are looking at materialized thoughts and ideas. The creative work of some human being. Whether its an ejaculation gone good or bad. Every human here was first a thought. The automobiles, the sky scrapers, the great planes that sweep the stratosphere, the sewing machine, the tiny pin, a thousand and one things--yes, millions of objects--where did they come from originally? Only one source: thought. Analyze your life further and youll realize all things resorted from thought. You dont eat, wear clothes, run for the bus, drive your automobile, go for a walk, or read a newspaper- -you dont even raise your arm--without a preceding thought impulse. While you may consider the motions you make as more or less automatic, perhaps caused by some physical reflexes, behind every single step you take in life, regardless of its direction, is that formidable and powerful force: thought. The very way we walk and talk is a reflection
~22~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
of our thinking. You are a product of your own thought, what you believe yourself to be, you are. Thought is the original source of all wealth, success, material gain, great discoveries, inventions and achievements. Without it there would be no great empires, Broadway plays, Clinton scandal, educational system, or Beatles musical collection. All matter first is thought. This is the only thing which controls your success or failure. I was pretty surprised how illustriously James put the ideas of consciousness together. I thought he was going to left field with ejaculation, but he polished the spiel quite nicely in the end. Jasons eyes glistened with understanding and acknowledgement, as if hed been sleeping his whole life away and today hed finally woken up for the first time. This scene reminded me of The Matrix. When Morpheus told Neo, You take the blue pillthe story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill--you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. I contemplated this scene at least five times before I snapped out of my daydream. Jason began to see the truth. Attitude is all that truly matters. What you believe becomes true for you. No degree can place you ahead of the pack if youre programmed for failure with a negative attitude. Sadly most college graduates who take off their cap and gown after the commencement celebration soon realize four years has passed with nothing but a GPA, a few tattoos, memorable stories, and no goal in place for the next 10 years. The majority of people live lives of quiet desperation, never questioning the reason for their existence, actions, beliefs, or prejudices. Millions of people tend to listen to others rather than think for themselves, living out other peoples dreams rather than their own. Only a small group of people learn to think for themselves, not just accept the norms of society. They cultivate their own realties as they see fit, stepping out of the crowd and no longer fitting in by choosing to stand out. Jason said of James, Coming to this awareness was as natural as yearning for his mothers breast milk as a toddler. Again I was truly weirded out by my friends ostentatious metaphors, but agreed despite my disgust over his choice of words. At that moment, Jason was no longer a conformist, but an individual thinker. His mind was as Frank Zappa stated: Open like a parachute. This is the only way our mind can truly function. His mind opened to the world beneath, the world he never believed existed. His purpose in life was getting clearer. He stated, Life is truly what I say it will be. Im the cause and the effect. Why not create causes which will affect me in a positive way?
~23~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Hopping off of the L train, our conversation ranged from random cynical humor to the consciousness of humanity. We trailed through the city, dining in Little Italy, walking in the midst of a parade, and picking up a few girls on the way back. Today, Jason is an entrepreneur who invests heavily in real estate. With his mentality on the almighty dollar, he works to serve millions of people. Rebuilding homes and owning properties all across the world while still acquiring as many female companions as humanly possible, hes doing what makes him happy. Reminiscing on this event caused me to appreciate the moment Jason started to question his own beliefs. The ability to step outside who you are to find who you must become is a breaking point for all major successes. The fact is, if we dont question ourselves at times, we can never experience something better than what we currently have. We will become complacent and never think of a different way to live our lives. If we continue to sit back and watch life pass us by, our world will stay as it is and what could have been will cease to exist. Traveling back to the front of my apartment, Jason and I fluttered ideas for our Sinatra plan. The idea of a Sinatra plan is based on Frank Sinatras saying, The best revenge is massive success. Jason and I would spend hours at a time just discussing our revenge, as if the world owed us everything. It was a great way to keep us motivated in times of recent disappointment. Tonight, however, was different. A glow of bigger dreams seeped into the conversation, like water under a wooden door. Jason asked me a question that changed my life forever: What is your vision for the book youre writing? I had never actually contemplated my vision, so I responded with a meager financial statement. Jason laughed in sadness over my adolescent vision of my dream. Grinning to keep together my pride, Jason went on to say, Jonathan, How are you going to swim with the sharks if youre still lying on the beach? Listen buddy, if youre not going to think big, why think at all? I know you can move more than one million units of your book. Why not set a goal higher than that? Why not set a goal so high that youd have to stretch every inch of your mind, body, and soul in order to make it happen? Why not set a goal of X-million copies sold worldwide, not just one? I paused for a moment to absorb the magnitude of his suggestion. The rotisserie of my mind began to soak in every inch of the new idea brought to light. A voice yelled inside my head, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. I decided that this book could touch the lives of X-million people. I would not settle for a crumb; I wanted the whole pie.
~24~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Arriving home around 1 a.m. after smoking some hookah, my fears started to take hold. I yelled into the bathroom mirror, Selling one million copies would be a blessing; now Im tackling X million. How am going to do that? Oh brother! Negativity started to seep into my consciousness. I used an affirmative statement to keep myself cool. Pessimism no longer had control of my thinking. As the saying goes, If you argue for your false beliefs, you deserve to keep them. I decided to exchange thoughts about my limitations for empowering convictions. Jasons words kept repeating in my mind. I made the decision to dream as if I would live forever, and to live every day like it was my last. I took my dream seriously and began to pursue my passion with high aspiration. As I write these words, sometimes I think of my journey to this point. The word destiny comes to mind when my past gets plastered on paper. I ask myself, Was it destiny that brought Jason, Nana, James, and me together that Saturday evening to release Jason from the matrix of his mind? In high school the only person I truly knew was James, and even then we were separated by popularity. He was higher on the social ladder than I was. I only got to truly know James, Nana, and Jason after high school, which is bizarre. We dont even live within walking distance of one another, but still keep connected. Jason lives in Flatbush; I live in Crown Heights; James lives in Canarsie; and Nana lives in Long Island. If youre from Brooklyn, then you know these locations are not so close. I do believe deep down inside God sends us signals, slogans, mottos, quotes, or even people such as James and Jason to help us get back on the right path. My experiences have shown me that the road signs are clear -- you only have to pay attention to the signals. My academic failure was a wakeup call from the life I was living. The advice I received from my friends pushed me to think bigger and work harder, and dig in deeper for the difficult path ahead of me.
Words of Advice
If you believe its time to walk along a new path, guess what? Youre probably right. Preserve your right to be happy today. Isolate yourself from those who discourage you. Seek out people who acknowledge your struggles and help you reach another plateau of self-advancement. If all else fails, follow your heart. You cant go wrong with your intuition; its God whispering to you.
~25~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
DREAM
Give yourself the opportunity to dream big. For a moment, allow yourself to fantasize about the kind of life you could live if you had no fears at all. How much money do you make? How many people are you helping? How profitable is your multi level marketing or network marketing business become? How many people do you have working for you? Where do you want to retire? Does your home have a porch, or is it located on the sandy beaches of Miami, Florida? How many cars do you own? Do any of them exceed the speed of 200 mph? What tires are wrapped around your Giovanni rims? Are you being chauffeured? How many airplanes are registered in your companys name? Are there any stewards or stewardesses on your private plane? Are there any cute ones? How many people are traveling with you? What is your destination? Do you know many people in that part of the world? What clothes are you wearing? What designer are you rocking on the red carpet? Is your mother retired? Are your kids in college and tuition paid up? Are you giving your boss the finger, and then driving off in your Mercedes Benz? Develop the ability to dream as vividly as possible. The only limitation you have is your self-perception.
Stupid Thought: The law of belief states that whatever you believe with confidence becomes true for you. No matter how unrealistic it may seem at the moment, if you
~26~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
continuously think this thought, itll happen. You right now are a product of what you believe to be true. For example: The terrible feud in the Middle East is solely based on a difference of beliefs. Decrepit bodies, bombed homes, grief stricken children and a generation of uneducated civilians are all products of beliefs. Beliefs are so powerful that they can create a hundred year long war in the name of GOD. Think about that next time you believe you cant do something. Religious beliefs are no different than the ability to believe in yourself. The foundation to success is based upon creative thinking and the ability to execute your ideas. The most successful people in society won the game of life by empowering themselves, not by living a life of shame and mental anguish.
~27~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Why? Theyve sown more. While other, unsuccessful farmers cultivate fruits and veggies with distilled anger and uncertainty, working only half days and going on regular smoke breaks, the successful farmer puts long-term gain over short-term pleasure. Its time to put aside petty activities in favor of necessary tasks. The unsuccessful person will always put partying over hard work, alcohol over a good read, or television above a business meeting. We all know these people. Are you one of them? I was! But it wasnt the way to go. Make better choices and you will live a more fulfilling lifestyle.
A Story of Persistence
Michelle Hoskins was a small manufacturer in Chicago who made her grandmothers honey cream syrup. She distributed it locally to a few restaurants and stores. Michelles dream was to see her grandmothers syrup on every table at Dennys restaurants nationwide. Dennys had 1700 restaurants at that time, so Michelle wasnt remotely prepared to distribute, much less manufacture, enough honey cream syrup to supply that many locations. However, she believed that she could do it once she got the contract. Michelle started calling Dennys corporate office every Monday morning at 10:30 a.m. She would talk to anyone who would listen: receptionists, secretaries, procurement, and manufacturing. They all said, Yeah, Michelle sounds great. Send us some of your grandmas syrup and well get back with you. Like so many people who say that, they never called her back. Undaunted, Michelle continued to call every Monday morning for two years. After two years, Dennys restructured and hired a new CEO who heard about Michelle and decided to give her an opportunity. They let her place a bid, and she won a three million dollar contract doing exactly what she believed she would do. Michelles persistence allowed her to achieve a worthy ideal. Being persistent has no barrier except those you place. No matter how hard it seems at the time, if you want it bad enough, giving up will be always be harder than rolling with lifes sucker punches. The one trait necessary for successful living is the will to be persistent.
~28~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Focus
Ive given up dozens of extracurricular activities in order to write this book. I struggled finding focus on Microsoft Word when Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube sat my fingertips. I also struggled with finding focus on Microsoft Word when Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube sat my fingertips. I learned the hard way that success takes concentration and single-minded focus. Every time I switched from miscellaneous tasks to Microsoft Word, Id lose my stream of consciousness, sometimes never regaining my composure. Its easy to click on a YouTube music video, search for random entertainment, or envy lifestyles of the rich and famous; mostly everyone does it. Well, thats why most people fail in life. Whats hard is misplaced with whats easy, and whats goal-achieving is swapped with random entertainment. Keep your mind zoned into your current activity if you want to defeat procrastination.
Everybody is a Critic
Sometimes asking for an opinion on my book would cause me to second guess my agenda. I remember when I first started to write, I asked a kid around my age about my writing skills. His blog was pretty successful with a nice fan base. So I wrote him an email, asking him to advise me on how I could improve my writing. Based on the response I got, Im assuming his girlfriend had recently dumped him because he wasnt able to satisfy her sexually. Though I may not have any evidence, my theory has yet to be corrected. Ive copied and pasted his exact words, for all of you to see. Lets listen in on my defeat: First off, this Horrible! I would better if you handed me nothing at all. I would like to know if English your first language because, youre writing is demoralizing to my brain. There are a lot of typos and if you want to be a good, you have to write well. You may want give up (just a suggestion), but if not, heres a few sites which can help your inexplicably terrible writing. Here are some helpful websites to get you started: www.copyblogger.com www.problogger.net
~29~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Objectives for you to consider 1. Kill yourself (just kidding, well not entirely) 2. Get someone to proofread them for you. (Not your 5 yr old cousin) 3. Read a lot of literature (Not Dr. Seuss) 4. Write. A lot (if you can read)
These are just the basic tips. The content you have is pretty bad, so I doubt people will read your material. But dont be offended because Burger king is hiring. Good luck. If you have any more questions, feel free NOT to email me. Contemplating this email made me feel stupid. Imagines of failure mixed with violent acts of revenge as my goal for that month. I mean, was I really that bad of a writer? I knew I was a C student when it came to all my academic papers, but Jesus! Was he right? Possibly. Maybe I did need help in my writing skills; no ones perfect. I cant become Stephen King overnight, but I sure can persevere when life throws me diapers. So I gave his letter the finger next to the index and persevered like all great humans do. Success was my only option; failure was off my radar. His negative comments pushed me into an obsession to succeed. I began to perfect my craft. Writing for hours at a time, day in and day out, I started to improve. Posting articles on websites, starting my own blog, and even writing material by hand heightened my skills. The more I wrote, the better I became. I didnt need his approval to further my dreams. Instead, I used his disapproval as motivation to do even better.
We All Fail
A championship bout is only won with scrapes and bruises. Getting hit with a surprise left hook can knock you down, but only you can decide if youre down for the count. While the referee is counting to 10, the decision you make is self-imposed. Do I lay low from this tyrant and let him have the glory of defeating me? Or will I stand up and go for whats rightfully mine? You have to decide.
~30~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
My failure only motivated my desire to become successful. The critics words may have struck a chord in my ego, but it wasnt nearly strong enough to send me running for the hills. I was in for the long haul in the field of dreams. Nothing was going to stop me from plowing my own destiny, and nothing should ever stop you. Stupid Thought: Haters will continuously try to put you down whenever they get the chance. Smile at those cynical remarks, and use those words as motivation. When it comes to being the target of hate, this is how I see the world. Men who live their lives hating others tend to marry women who feel the same way. They form a relationship and procreate, soon giving birth to a child who continues the legacy of hatred toward all people. The cycle continues until the world is filled with haters. This is the world we live in today. These individuals can be family members, old high school friends, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, bodega cashiers, police officers, your best friend who continues to act like he wants to make things happen but always cancels without giving you a call, the mailman, the 3 train conductor, or even your old English teacher at Nazareth Regional High School who said, Jonathan, youre a terrible writer. You never know who is a hater at first glance, but they can easily be identified once they open their mouths.
Here is a scenario:
Susan: You know, Kevin from accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part of town. Jane (hater): If he is doing so well why does he drive that 89 Taurus? If you make comments like Jane, then youre a hater. Be a hater if thats what you want; I know many people who enjoy the thrill of the hate. Just remember several things. You dont get paid for it. You wont succeed if all you do is consume yourself with hate. Lastly, its a waste of time. Stupid Thought: What is a hater? A hater is defined as a person that simply cannot be happy for another persons success. Rather than be happy, they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesnt really want to be the person he or she hates; rather, the hater wants to knock someone down a notch.
~31~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
A master mind group is essentially a conjunction of two or more people working actively together in perfect harmony towards a common, defined purpose. The most famous historical figures of the past possessed master mind groups, including Henry Ford, Dale Carnegie, and Henry Firestone. These meetings took place in secluded locations where perfect harmony was created. Christ himself, as described in the Scripture stated: For where two or three are gathering together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Master mind groups bring forth positive intellectual and spiritual energy focused upon reaching a common goal. The purpose behind all meetings is to build each other up, bring forth recent successes or adversities, devise plans to become stronger every day, brain storm on relevant topics, and advocate participation, sharing challenges and important business issues of any kind. Your group should meet once per month or every other week. Everyone is accountable for his or her presence unless there is an emergency. You want to be around people who will make the most of their opportunities. Association is of vital importance to being happy, so be selective of who you invite into your master mind group. Heres the criterion. Your members must be highly driven, hard-working dreamers who desire achievement. Camaraderie is also essential, for loyalty is above any other concern when you want to rise above and dominate your reality. My master mind group consists of a few reliable friends who have been discussed in the previous paragraphs, so you know my crew already. Good friends are hard to come by, so if you have any, learn to keep them. During our meetings we discuss everything including long-term agendas, short-term possibilities, lawyer appointments, financial setbacks, and how much hate we believe we are getting from those who used to make fun of our aspirations. We tend to mix up a bit, but business is always the meal first devoured. My team and I made a pact long ago to dominate every single industry we choose to impregnate with our drive. Personal development being the first, we made a decision
~32~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
to win. Whether any of us have college diplomas is irrelevant. We decided during the summer of 2008 to live by three words: Divide and Conquer. Our lives are going to be nothing but triumphs and celebrations. Thats all. No matter how much the ticket price may cost. We all made a decision to pay the cost to be our own boss, live an amazing lifestyle, and have fun each and every day. Nothing more, nothing less. Your mastermind group can include any race, color, credo, or gender; it doesnt matter. What matters is the determination you bring in the creation of a new empire. You can only benefit from establishing a master mind group. Its function is to bring you and your peers closer to your goals. Support each other during hard times and network as if your life depended on it.
~33~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
You can only succeed after a series of failures. You must see failure as an event, not a person. I mean, whats the sense of crying over spilled milk, right? This reminds me of a lesson in failure I read about in a tabloid last month on my way to the Dentist in Midtown Manhattan: A 7 year old boy had been trying to take a bottle of milk out the refrigerator when he lost his grip and spilled the entire contents on the kitchen floor. His father, instead of scolding him, said, What an exciting mess youve made! Ive never seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage is already done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk before we clean it up? Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his father continued, You know, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a towel, sponge, or mop. Which do you prefer? After they were finished cleaning up the milk, he said, What we have here is a failed experiment in how to carry a big bottle of milk with two tiny hands. Lets go out in the back yard, fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it. And they did. What did this experience do? This experience allowed this young man to see failure as enticing as success. Truthfully, if I were this kid my mother would have whooped my butt for spilling milk. Not because she had anger issues, but because we were poor, and milk costs an arm and a leg. Luckily for this young man, his father was different. After reading this article, I started to think of failure differently. I no longer saw my failures as demoralizing events. I began to appreciate the fall and anticipate my rise to victory after every setback. After every failure, ask yourself, What can I learn from this? The answers to that question will lead you down a path of enlightenment. The answer may not come immediately, but it will come. Use this insight to fuel you toward maximum achievement.
~34~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
~35~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
It all starts with belief. You have to believe it is possible. If you dont, then nothing will change for you. Stupid Thought: Sacrifice is the name of the game, people. Ask any mother whether the suffering of childbirth was worth the pleasure of her newborn. While in labor she may call you every word in the dictionary rhyming with shmuck you, masscole, or go to shmell, but after the baby comes out of her womb, her face lights up like a puppy who has just found a bone on the side of the street. Happiness overshadows the long hours of pain.
was possible. The grade may not have changed my GPA enough to stay on campus, but it increased my self-worth. I began to believe I was good in math, and that it is possible to achieve that which I was told I couldnt do. This was one of the most cathartic lessons I learned at Stony Brook, and it changed my life forever.
want to become. Whatever you write on the inside, you will experience on the outside. Become something more than a statistic. Become who you believe you can be, and you will. All it takes is a bit of imagination and belief in the possibility that there is no impossibility.
~38~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Chapter 3
Screwball Dreams
Dont Turn Off the Light. The Boogie Man Will Arrive!
As if the revelations of my life couldnt get embarrassing enough, the scariest thing for me as a little kid was Chucky, a three-foot doll who had an inferiority complex and lust for world domination and cynically massacred everyone who stood in his way. His devilish laughter before and after each slay propelled me to sleep with a nightlight for the majority of my adolescent years. My brother, taking pleasure in my misery, would scream out, Chucky is going to get you! in my bedroom before I went to bed. This usually sent me crying into my mothers arms, leading her to disciplinary actions over Billys civil disobedience! But even though Chucky wasnt real, why did I fear him? Was he really going to murk me or my family? Was he going to pop up out of the movie screen screaming, I got you sucker!? (Keenen Ivory Wayanss smile) So why did I fear his demonic presence, which was truly just a fabrication of a sinister screenwriter with one hell of an imagination? Even though Chucky wasnt real, he was authentic to me. Everyone said, Hes just a doll, Jonathan. But I couldnt believe the hype because I was too entranced by the reality of the situation. I chose to believe. Now how stupid was I to believe Chucky was going to gut me like a fish. From a scale of one to ten, Id say 2000. No longer fearing Chucky, Ive come to realize this fear has a similar hold on people. Its like the mother who is too afraid to follow her passion because she thinks its too late or the father who wants to build his own business, but is afraid to step out on a limb. In reality, you can follow your passion and achieve your desires. Many do and are extremely happy to have stepped out on that ledge. Like Chucky, all fear rhymes with you being a wussy! Fear should never hold you back from achieving happiness, success, or peace of mind.
~39~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Imagine how strange it would be if I, at 21 years old, still believed Chucky was after me all this time! Wouldnt you say, Jonathan, bro you need to grow up, man. Chucky is just a doll from a movie. He isnt real. Theres actually an actor who does his voice and everything. You can see it on the credits after the movie is over!? What if my response was, What do you mean? Of course hes real; hes on television and on movie posters. Hes coming after me Ah!? Wouldnt you think I needed some psychological help? Well, Im telling you this for your own good. All that fear you hold as true to yourself is not real. Grow up! Its only real because you have accepted it as fact. No matter how strong you may believe in that fear, its only power is what you give it. So your fear of rejection, heights, or success only affects you due to the intensity of your beliefs. Without those beliefs, you would live fearlessly. Isnt that a goal worth aiming for?
Action PLEASE
During the World War, the army wanted to make sure every recruiter was able to swim. One of the exercises required recruiters to jump into a six-foot deep indoor pool. One man stood at the edge, frightened of water. Scared out of his wits, he was afraid of the mix between hydrogen and oxygen. The fear in this young man was real, as his face expressed anguish and mortification. While his toes tapped the water for temperature, he slipped into the pool. At first he was screaming at the top of his lungs, but quickly began to calm down. His body started to adjust to the new environment, and he began to naturally administer to his new feeling of being agile. He started to laugh and giggle, realizing firsthand that his fears were just in his mind, not proportional to reality. To cure your fears of dream achievement, you have to take action. Nothing else will bring fearful thoughts to their knees than the act of pursuit. Once you begin to take any kind of action toward your fears, whether stage performance, public speaking, or working out, they will diminish. Ask yourself, What do I fear? Then write down a list of activities you can do to end this hot mess. Start taking action today. Dont wait until tomorrow. Act now. Within a couple of weeks, youll conquer your fear with the ease of a Samurai warrior.
~40~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
~41~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
what you fear and your willingness to conquer those fears. If you cant conquer your fear, then youll never see the light of day even if the sun is out because youll be too consumed with anger to realize your beautiful dreams. At this moment, flashbacks to my college days brought me to a tough period in my past. I attended Stony Brook University at age 19, and I felt completely lost. Uneasy about midterms and finals, I was plagued with failure over and over again. Being a health science major meant nothing to me at the time and still doesnt to this day. Partying like it was 1965, I recalled a conversation with my brother that had a profound effect on my life. Sitting on my bed, we chatted about various aspects of my life at that moment, from girls to academia. I told him I was doing great while I had just recently gotten a D on my chemistry final and been told by my advisor to retake the course. He got the finger next to the index when he uttered that statement and kicked me out of his office. I guess he wasnt too pleased with my reaction, but I had to be honest with how I felt. Speaking to my brother on this crispy Sunday afternoon led to a discussion about fashion. He suggested I start my own clothing line. Right then and there, I hopped off my bed and was enticed by the idea. It was one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. Although I was heavily into fashion on a personal level, I never considered the idea of doing it on my own. I always knew I could add a little pizzazz to the industry of clothing, but hadnt given a second thought to being an entrepreneur. Almost immediately, I began to quickly discuss potential designs and sought out ideas for inspiration. Stupid Thought: I always had a passion for fashion. Writing just came first. During the months of April and May of 08, I spent more time thinking of brilliant ideas for fashion designs than actually studying for any of my finals. For some reason, fashion motivated me more than any biology quiz ever could. I found it quite miraculous to be able to create a symbol, design, or logo that people all across the world can love and appreciate even though they have never met me and wear my brand with pride as if they had drawn the designs themselves. I did not care much about academia. I was convinced that I wanted to become a fashion designer. I started my own company from scratch and wanted to display my talents in front of the masses. Talking with a few people who enjoyed streetwear as much as I did increased my confidence tremendously. With positive feedback from a select group of people, I started to dedicate hours and hours into drawing up a whole collection of illustrated pieces.
~42~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Stuck between the names of Tony Bananas and Timeless, I asked my friend Depot which one would work better. Depot and I sat on the benches of McDonalds on Nichols Road in Long Island to talk about it, but the discussion of my idea turned into a living nightmare. Surrounded by the immense heat of the sun, Depot said, Youre starting a clothing line!!! Haha, that will never work! It was obvious that Depot was a hater from the get-go. But at 19, I was too naive to see that he was just another kid who was a product of hatred. Being so fragile minded at the time, I began to feel my heart crumble like the last leaf dried up from the hot summer breeze right before winter strikes. Holding my pride together, I tried to investigate the reasons for his lack of support. I spoke earlier to a few college pals of mine like David Valvano, Charlie Soterio, and Nitesh Singh, and they all supported me one way or another. Dave, for example, always kept asking me about my clothing line, which showed me that he truly supported my vision. Walking into his dorm room in Benedict, hed say, How is Reign Supreme coming along? (This was the brands initial name). Then wed start conversing about my progress while he provided me with suggestions. Depot, on the other hand, played a more Luciferian role in my life at that time. As Depots logic and reasoning became harder to refute, I started to doubt my capabilities as a fashion designer. He brought not only extreme negativity into the conversation, but also combined it with the incessant fear of failure. Convinced by his argument, I went back that night to drink and smoke my dreams away. For the first time in a while, I thought I was on the right path. But my encounter with Depots ego edged my dream into oblivion. Soaked in marijuana smoke, I fell asleep with shredded dreams of a hopeless plan. Ive matured greatly since coming out of this hallucination. I realized his opinion was only as powerful as I made it. Was Depot right about my lack of intelligence or courage to create a brand bigger than Ralph Lauren or Guess? Only if I had accepted his belief would I have still been lost. But as faith would have it, God had better plans for me. His words became as futile as the Confederate resistance against the Union. I soon realized that even though Depot may not have supported my vision, his fear of my success could only harm me if Id allow it to. His mind was in the sandbox, and I had the vision of an architect. It may have taken me quite some time to realize this ideology, but as the saying goes, better late than never.
~43~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
~44~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Thomas Edison
Temporary defeat should never keep you from succeeding. Only when you call it quits does your dream shatter like glass thrown from a car window. You can only reach your dream through continuous failure. Edison failed 10,000 times before creating the carbon-impregnated filament, which lighted the first incandescent light bulb in 1879. He failed and failed and failed until he reached his goal. On his 5,000th failure, he was interviewed by a young man from the Chicago newspaper. The young man asked Edison, Why do you persist? Dont you know man was born to light himself through life with kerosene and lantern?
~45~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Mr. Edison said, Young man, you do not know how the world works, but let me explain something to you. I have not failed 5,000 times. I have just found 5,000 ways that will not work. People dont realize Edison was the greatest inventor in American History, but also the greatest failure in American history. His failures led him to invent 1,093 different inventions patented at the U.S. Patent Office, making him and all his fellow royal colleges extremely wealthy. Id now like to share with you a wonderful story of how a dream can still live on, no matter what age group youre in: The first day of school, our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didnt already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. Im 87 years old. Can I give you a hug? I laughed and enthusiastically responded, Of course you may! and she gave me a giant squeeze. Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age? I asked. She jokingly replied, Im here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel. No seriously, I said. I was curious as to what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. I always dreamed of having a college education, and now Im getting one! she told me. After class, we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day, for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this time machine as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up, and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester, we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. Ill never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three-by-five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed, she leaned into the microphone and simply said, Im sorry Im so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent, and this whiskey is killing me! Ill never get my speech back in order, so let me just tell you what I know. As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began, We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.
~46~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
You have to laugh and find humor every day. Youve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and dont even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are 19 years old and lie in bed for one full year and dont do one productive thing, you will turn 20 years old. If I am 87 years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn 88. Anybody can grow older. That doesnt take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually dont have regrets for what they did, but rather for things they did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets. She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation,Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over 2,000 college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that its never too late to be all you can possibly be. Today, I dare you to win. I dare you to persist beyond what others may expect from you. I dare you to dream bigger than youve ever thought possible. I dare you to imagine the life youve always wanted to live. Imagine a doctor telling you that your life expectancy has just been dropped to the next 6 months due to a grueling disease. What would you do? Who would you forgive? Who would you speak to? Where would you go? What would you accomplish? Think honestly about all these powerful questions. Sit outside yourself, and analyze your life in third person. See where you are now, and envision where you want to be. Leave frustration and embarrassment behind. Dont forget to laugh at your mistakes. Our blunders make us who we are. Guard your dreams with a fist full of dynamite, a 32-foot-long minefield, three hungry gorillas, and a machine-gun post on the west wing of your mind. Never say anything contrary to your dreams. Refuse to accept plan B; it only distracts you from plan A. The saying goes, Dont put all your eggs in one basket. I say, Put them all in one basket, but watch it. Break free from the shackles of doubt and fear, and embrace change. Without a dream, you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. Youll only jog down the lonely road of life without a map or exit sign. The key is to dream big, and then do whatever it takes to turn it into reality.
~47~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Who are some of your role models? Just look at pioneers such as Rowland Hussey Macy (founder of Macys retail store), Ray Kroc (founder of McDonalds), Thomas Watson (founder of IBM), Shawn Carter (Rocawear CEO and rap artist), Peter Thiel (CEO of PayPal), Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook), and J.K. Rowling (creator of the Harry Potter series). All these men and women have one thing in common: A BIG DREAM. Their current success reflects their tenacity to think big. You too can be a causality of your positive thinking by inducing yourself with courage, bravery, and self-responsibility. Enter the dream-creation factory with confidence. Leave your doubts on the doorstep, right next to fear of failure and impossibility. Once youve done this, follow the steps below for maximum achievement. You wont be disappointed.
Dream-Creation Factory
1. What is your purpose? Think of what you truly want to become. Whether you want to be a great entertainer in the music industry, a Broadway showgirl, or a successful online businesswoman, make your dream definite and specific. Its quite alright if youre unsure what your purpose is. Ask yourself the following questions for enlightenment: What do I love to do? What would I do if I wasnt being paid for it? (Its the activity that you feel most comfortable with and have fun doing) What do I find most value in doing? Envision yourself as already having what you want each and every day for 15 minutes at a time. Feel as if youre already there, and you will reach your final destination.
2. Package your idea into a solid belief system. Nothing will happen until you believe its possible. The second step to dream creation is to believe you can achieve. Stop trying to convince others of your ideas; convince yourself. Seal your vision in a suitcase of possibility, enthusiasm, passion, and persistence. Allow others to see the fruits of your labor after youve succeeded. Never say too much. Just take action. Results speak for themselves. 3. Gift wrap your dream in a bright blue ribbon of daily objectives. Necessary action must be taken, or youll become delusional. Why? Thought without action equals delusion. Become a doer not a gonna doer. Let me ask you this question: how can you judge a man? Is it by what he says, what he believes, what time he
~48~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
sleeps, who he dates, what he wears, or what car he drives? No, you can only judge a man by what he does. It was said that a thousand years of thought are nothing compared to one step in the right direction. Make yourself accountable for reaching the stars. Track your progress, expect the best, and continue to push forward against possible resistance. The greatest failures of today are going to be the greatest successes of tomorrow. Remember that! 4. The final piece of the puzzle is purely simple. Never give up. Never ever give up!
~49~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
The Walkthrough
Let me share with you a story of two BIG dreamers, who exemplify courage. These are individuals I personally admire, and maybe some of you are familiar with their works. For thousands of years, flight was but a dream - the very definition of the word impossible. But two young men set impossible as their goal and forever changed the world. A flying toy, as a gift from their father, sparked a lifelong interest. They worked in a bicycle shop, but pursued flight as a hobby. Along the way, the hobby became a passion that relentlessly drove them to try new things, challenge conventional wisdom, continuously strive hard, and reach further heights. With no more than a high school diploma, the Wright brothers put their curiosity into action. They built over seven flying machines and crashed each more than once. Frustration and disappointment seemed more overwhelming after each attempt, yet they never stopped believing. Soon after each failure, they rebuilt and modified their efforts, continuously applying what they had learned. Like every great success, manned flight was the result of false starts, detours, and dead ends. Through the disappointments and doubts, determined perseverance and unwavering belief led them on. On December 17th, 1903, in spite of dangerous gusts of wind and below-freezing temperatures, they took a desperate gamble. If they wanted to be home by Christmas, they had to put their belief in the impossible into action. At 10:35 A.M., in a flight of only 12 seconds covering 120 feet, they did what men and women only dreamed of doing for centuries they flew. On the fourth attempt, the plane landed 852 feet from its starting point in 59 seconds, snapping a support line but otherwise undamaged. They did the impossible. They rose above all obstacles and achieved the unimaginable. If birds can glide for long periods of time, then why cant I? - Orville Wright
Now its your turn! Its time to dream the impossible, set goals and dauntless resolutions, and put unconquerable faith into action in order to achieve the impossible. When you do, youll discover that maybe God also intended for you to fly. Trickling down the dream avenue, we come across the legendary story of Sylvester Stallone, most famously recognized for his sensational performance in the movie Rocky. Maybe youve heard of his story, but Sylvester Stallones road from rags to riches was harsher than most can imagine.
~50~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Born with a paralyzed chin, tongue, and lip from a birth-related accident, Stallone was the target of much ridicule for his slurred speech and drooping lower lip. Born into a poor family in New York City, Stallone attended school in the suburban life of Philadelphia, where he first developed his acting skills. He spent two years in Geneva, Switzerland, honing his acting skills, before heading back to Miami, Florida, and becoming a drama major at the University of Miami, where he began to write screenplays. He left the university before graduation and moved back to NYC to audition for various parts with no success, much less a single call back. Failure after failure led him to star in a leading role in The Lords of Flatbush, in which he received his first writing credit to further support his acting career. Despite this small break, he struggled to build any momentum as he continued to audition with one rejection after another. So he decided to cut acting for a while and instead concentrated on writing screenplays, but nothing changed. Stallone tried to sell his ideas, but was given the cold shoulder by every possible agency. He ran out of money and became confined in a desperate situation where his dreams interfered with feeding his family. Wandering the cold streets of NYC one night, Stallone strolled into the library as he normally did, seeking compassion from authors such as Edgar Allen Poe and Tolstoy and motivation to help him keep going in pursuit of his dreams. At one point, Stallone sideswiped the average job, resorting to regrettable acts such as hocking his wifes jewelry and even selling his poor old dog for $50 bucks. As he sat inside his home stricken with misery from his actions, he began watching the WepnerAli fight. Inspired by Wepners heart to go blow for blow with Ali despite being the underdog, Stallone began writing the story of Rocky Balboa in a matter of 24 hours. He approached directors to shoot his vision and got them interested in the screenplay. His only condition was to act in his own movie. Stallones desire to act in his own movie kept him from taking offers of up to $300,000 even though he was dead broke. So after countless negotiations, they finally allowed him to star in his movie, awarding him $25,000 only for his efforts. He accepted this deal without hesitation, went back to the guy to whom he sold his dog, and bought it back for a whopping $15,000 and a part in the movie Rocky. As Stallones desire and passion for success were plastered on screen, Rocky was nominated for ten academy awards, winning three including best film. What more can be said? In the words of Russell Crowe as he accepted his long-awaited Oscar for Best Actor for Gladiator, You know, when you grow up in the suburbs of Sydney, or Auckland, or Newcastle, like Ridley [Scott] or Jamie Bell, or the suburbs of anywhere, you know a dream like this seems kind of vaguely ludicrous and completely unattainable. But this moment is directly connected to those childhood imaginings. And for anybody whos on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage: Its possible.
~51~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Plaster the word Dreamer on your forehead with superglue. Let the world know youre related to John Lennon, and just imagine a world without war, poverty, or cynicism. Remember its not about how you start, but how you finish. So do as the wise Winston Churchill said, Never, never, never, never give up, and you will succeed. Spoon Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. Thats impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. Neo: What truth? Spoon Boy: There is no spoon.
~52~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Chapter 4
Bonkers Imagination
I closed my eyes to see my dreams. Seeing is believing, said Dr. Seuss, as my eyes wandered off the page. As I tucked my baby cousin into her bed for the first time, she asked me, Can dreams really come true? As innocent as a puppy dog lost on the side of the Brooklyn Bridge, the five-year-old Jasmine looked deeply into my big brown eyes, wondering if dreams were real. I said, Of course, dreams are possible. You can do anything you put your mind to, sweetie. If you can believe it, you can achieve it. Looking long and hard at her own reflection in my eyes, she pushed away her Dora the Explorer bed sheets, flung her arms around my neck with enthusiasm, and asked, You really mean I can be a ballerina on Broadway like Anna Pavlova or a talk show host like Oprah? I wasnt sure who Anna Pavlova was, but I agreed with conviction! I couldnt deny the beauty of Jasmines innocence, as she started to jump up and down in her SpongeBob pajamas and drool over the possibility of possibility. Jasmine was never told that it was possible, and hearing that made her the happiest I had ever seen. When it was time for bed, she slid back with a large smile on her face and red dots on both of her cheeks. Her eyes glowed with joy and excitement as I sang her R. Kellys I Believe I Could Fly before she slipped into Alices Wonderland. Walking out of her room at 10 P.M., I reminisced about the time I believed in nothing but loose women and alcohol. Thats not to say Im not into this now, but my primordial beliefs of what is possible have grown since then! I immersed myself in books like Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain as consciousness continuously knocked on my door, leaving letters on my front porch. My dream of being free from mediocrity became more certain every day. Deeply relaxed on my bed, I envisioned the life I knew I wanted to live and experience. I closed my eyes, and scenarios of sandy beaches and sunrise on the balcony of my two-story palace in Brooklyn, where the grass would be cut by workers I hired last night, sent me into a blissful existence.
~53~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Sliding into my choice of vehicle for the day, Id decide to be chauffeured in my spaceship on the way to a pressing business meeting. As rain began to fall, Id break an umbrella over my freshly cut Dark Caesar and Karen (my female driver) would swing open my door with the resilience and speed of Wolverine from Marvel Comics! As Id enter my Manhattan office, not too far from the Rocawear headquarters, my Nike SB shoes would dunk-tap the floor with elegance. Dark shades would cover my natural expression as if I was born with this accessory. Id go into my office with 3,000 hardworking employees, all determined to contribute to the whole world and happy to be of service to mankind. With a pay scale of 500 million dollars a year, Id walk into my office with a warm welcome and a large smile across my face. My office would be stockpiled with directors, executives, and mentors brushing up on next years financial possibilities. My company would be rated the most democratic workplace on this planet for the past 10 consecutive years. With a company filled with bright faces and great personalities, Id do my best to make company life better than home life. After my morning meetings, Id speak to my new recruits personally. Id tell my employees to treat work life as they do their love life: Do it well, take your time, and reach the climax only after your customer has had theirs! Surrounded by fame and fortune, my family would no longer feel the brunt of economic turmoil. Anyone within the family name, who has been in my life from the get-go, would no longer work for a penny at the local Blockbuster. Id do my best to make my family self-sufficient on their own with my guidance. The motto goes, Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. With the expansion of my music label and the rising popularity of my fashion brand, life is all the sweeter. Awaking from this wondrous mental experience, I was rejuvenated tenfold. I got up more motivated and felt ready to take on the world. I worked more diligently, concentrated for longer hours, and limited external distractions. Tiresome shifts at Macys may have drained my energy, but visualization always kept me aligned with my long-term goals. The process of the book was halfway completed, and my Sinatra plan was coming to life. I could soon vividly see a Citibank teller saying, Sorry, Mr. Figaro. Youve exceeded the amount of money we can hold in one account. Were going to have to transfer $112 million dollars from your checking account back into your savings. Is that aright with you, Mr. Figaro? Looking in playful disgust, Id reply, Well, if you have to. I dont want it to be any inconvenience on your part.
~54~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Shed say, Of course not, were here to serve you. Would you like some more Grey Poupon? Id quickly say, Well, of course my lady! You see your imagination can take you anywhere you want to go. You must first see yourself where you want to be before it could manifest. France, Germany, Amsterdam, Los Angeles, New York, Nashville, and Dubai are all locations to where your dreams can take you if you truly believe it. You can dictate where life takes you by tapping into your imagination. Nothing is off limits. Why not travel from Belgium to the Bronx or from Harlem to Hong Kong this weekend? Why not sit on the baseline between Shaq and Kobe at the basketball game? Why not see yourself driving a Ferrari 550 or donating 1 billion dollars to building a conscious community in a country outside the USA? Why imagine the negative when you can envision the positive? Why be average when you can be great? Ill tell you why. It all comes back to you being a wussy! Youve become more afraid of your own potential than a toddler on a rollercoaster. You hold up beliefs that drain your energy rather than surge your body with a splash of Gatorade. Disbelief in the power of achievement keeps you from succeeding. Thats fine. Just remember your attitude is the reason youve experienced the unsatisfying lifestyle youre currently engaged to. But know this: you can call off the wedding at any given moment. You can rush down to your bride-to-be, give her the its not you; its me line, and be a free man. You can leave your intentions on the pew and remain single and self-sufficient until you feel ready to walk down that isle.
As these words are being typed, my thoughts are pressed against my current reality. Family was the last thing on my mind while reaching for my dreams. I missed every celebration from Baptism to Christmas dinners because of my obsession to succeed. Excuses such as Ive been busy or I had something important to do only weakened the bond between me and my family. Whether they perceived me as a friend or foe is unknown to me. Labeled the rebel among the Gelin family, I have always processed this world quite differently. Leaving school, working in the real world for $8 an hour, and dreaming big caused people to make assumptions about me, day in and day out. How did you feel, Jonathan? Were you aware of this fact? Did you get offended? These questions must be running through your mind right now. Well, I was aware of course, but not at all offended. I learned a long time ago to take nothing personally. Life is too short to keep hatred buried in your heart. But their comments at times made me feel so misunderstood that praying was my only way out of insanity. My conversations with God went pretty well. He did what I do for my girlfriend just listened until I had nothing more to say and made me feel at ease with baring my soul in private. The theory I have on life is that people fear what they dont understand and hate what they cannot conquer. My family feared the worst because they couldnt understand what my idea of life was or why I was so secluded in my own world. Hopefully reaching this far in my book, they know now. I didnt just miss those precious events for Petes sake, but for a greater cause. I desperately needed to live the life I truly desired. I had to do whatever it took to get to where I wanted to be, and my imagination helped me be absolutely free in every sense of the word.
Imagination Please!
A psychological study showed students who spent time vividly imagining the stresses of test exams, papers, and peer-group projects invariably failed due to the manifestation of mental pressure. The more they gritted their teeth and tried to summon their will power, the faster they failed. The answers they already knew seemed to flee their minds like a rodent in a subway station. Yet when they were relaxed, the answers flowed onto paper as water on a sandy beach. Try not to force yourself into a state of imagining. Let your positive expectations flow. Mental strain or pressure will lead to self-defeat and psychological decapitation. Free yourself from trying to get it right the first time. Let the pressure subside and doubt fade away by walking into the back of your mind and imagining the best of yourself.
~56~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Stand tall and envision your future with the strength of ten men or women. You will begin to flawlessly depict your future exactly as you want it to be. Some people might say that they are not visual. If youre having trouble visualizing, slowly feel the feelings of being great and youll be on your way. Lie down on your back in deep relaxation, inhale five deep breaths, and begin to narrate your future. Pictures will begin to pop up as your mind movie begins to play, showing you a clear visual of the world you desire to be a part of. Imagination tears down your limiting beliefs in what you thought was possible, helping you reach further, jump higher, and go the distance. With visualization, anything can happen. English poet, painter and printmaker William Blake said, What is now proved was once only imagined.
to home, you begin to see things differently. Sadly, Jamal died while I was still involved with my ex-girlfriend, and maybe that was just another major factor in my emotional attachment to her. Was I vulnerable? Possibly, I mean I doubt that she understood how much pain I was feeling seeing her when my friend had recently died. She wanted me to talk about it. But Im terrible with death. When it comes to someone dying, I shut myself off from the world until I just get over it. When my father died, I shed minimal tears for something I didnt truly and completely understand. I have never spoken of it, and neither has my brother. Its like it never happened. Huh strange it seems. How can one wound begin to open others just as painful? But I tend not to think about it for too long because the pain is too much to bear. I realized the choices Jamal made, though hard to say, left him six feet below mother earth. His devilish buffoonery was something he paid for with his life. Its a mistake that we can all can learn from and avoid. The sirens in my mind blared as the young man perished in Kings County Hospital. As I shed tears of grief, flashbacks of my fathers hospitalization sprung into my consciousness again. Hearing Jamals last words sent me thinking about my father lying on his deathbed and not recognizing his own children before he passed away. All that was left in his name was a stockpile of memories and photographs. Although he barely made a difference in my life or my brothers, I stopped wondering about his lack of ambition years ago. While my mom worked two jobs, got herself a college degree, and put me and my brother through private school, my father worked as a security guard, which barely paid the rent. Jamals death brought back bone-chilling memories I thought were buried deep within the sands of time. But apparently, I was wrong. Walking out of the hospital room, I hugged his tearful mother for the last time before the funeral. While contemplating my fathers previous worldly existence, I realized any question that I have cannot be answered until I levitate into the arms of my creator and embrace his spiritual essence. Maybe then we can talk about the past while I get a tour of heaven. Or maybe Ill be so riled up by the thought of seeing him that Ill forget to investigate, as we smoke up a storm and sip on some wine while floating above the clouds. With revved-up emotions, I chose to drown myself in mood music. There was no positive attitude at that time in my life. I had just lost a close friend, and I needed time to heal my wounds. Jamal was lost and never coming back. I have nothing more to say here except live everyday like its your last.
~58~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
~59~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Tim would shout out, Green light, and Id look at the superior judge, who was usually our coach Mako. Id raise my hand, and hed raise his right back. Then Id turn, face the bar, grab hold, and begin my routine. Well, a funny thing happened on July 31st, 1984. It was the Olympic Games mens gymnastics team finals in Pauley Pavilion on the UCLA campus. The 13,000 seats were all filled, and a television audience in excess of 200 million around the world tuned in. The United States team was on its last event of the night, the high bar. The last two guys up for the United States just happened to be Tim Daggett and Peter Vidmar. And just as we visualized, our team was neck-and-neck with the Peoples Republic of China. We had to perform our high-bar routines perfectly to win the gold medal. I looked at Coach Mako, my coach for the past 12 years. As focused as ever, he simply said, Okay, Peter, lets go. You know what to do. Youve done it a thousand times, just like every day back in the gym. Lets just do it one more time, and lets go home. Youre prepared. He was right. I had planned for this moment and visualized it hundreds of times. I was prepared to perform my routine. Rather than seeing myself actually standing in the Olympic arena with 13,000 people in the stands and 200 million watching on television, in my mind, I pictured myself back in the UCLA gym at the end of the day with two people left in the gym. When the announcer said, From the United States of America, Peter Vidmar, I imagined it was my buddy Tim Daggett saying it. When the green light came on, indicating it was time for the routine, I imagined that it wasnt really a green light, but that it was Tim shouting Green light! And when I raised my hand toward the superior judge from East Germany, in my mind, I was signaling my coach just like I had signaled him every day at the end of hundreds of workouts. In the gym, I always visualized I was at the Olympic finals. At the Olympic finals, I visualized I was back in the gym. I turned, faced the bar, jumped up, and grabbed on. I began the same routine I had visualized and practiced day after day in the gym. I was in memory mode, going yet again where Id already gone hundreds of times. I quickly made it past the risky double-release move that had harpooned my chances at the World Championships. I moved smoothly through the rest of my routine and landed a solid dismount, where I anxiously waited for my score from the judges. With a deep voice, the announcement came though the speaker, The score for Peter Vidmar is 9.95. Yes! I shouted, I did it! The crowd cheered loudly as my teammates and I celebrated our victory.
~60~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Thirty minutes later, we were standing on the Olympic medal platform in the Olympic arena with 13,000 people in the stands and over 200 million watching on television, while the gold medals were officially draped around our necks. Tim, me, and our teammates stood proudly wearing our gold medals as the national anthem played and the American flag was raised to the top of the arena. It was a moment we visualized and practiced hundreds of times in the gym. Only this time, it was for real. Still not convinced? Russian scientists compared four groups of Olympic athletes in terms of their training schedules: Group 1 - 100% physical training Group 2 - 75% physical training and 25% mental training Group 3 - 50% physical training and 50% mental training Group 4 - 25% physical training and 75% mental training What were the results? Group 1 failed miserably due to a lack of mental training. Groups 2 and 3 couldnt cut the mustard. But group 4, even though physically trained less than the rest, performed the best. Why? They didnt change their potential. It was already there, and it had nothing to do with taking more action. Taking action with limiting beliefs is not going to do anything. They had visualized the results in their minds and went there believing everything had already happened. The same thing occurred with Peter Vidmar and Arnold Schwarzenegger. After his fifth Mr. Universe title at the age of 25, Arnold said to reporters, I envisioned myself as Mr. Universe in my mind all the time before it actually happened. Its mind over matter! You must see it in your mind until it becomes so real that doubt no longer harbors inside your spaceship. This way you can have the courage to fly aboard the Nebakanezer into the next galaxy. Your ultimate power lies in your ability to create through imagination. While knowledge defines all you currently know and understand, imagination points to all you can discover and create.
~61~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Try the following exercise for kicks, and youll see firsthand what Im talking about.
First, suspend your natural disbelief just for one minute while you do this imagination exercise. Its easy, and everyone can do it. Relax and take a deep breath. Now use your imagination, and try to picture this: You have a bright yellow, ripe lemon in the palm of your hand. Rub the skin of the fruit with your hands, feel the texture, and smell it. Now put it on a cutting board, pick up a sharp knife, and slice slowly through the lemon. Juice squirts and runs out of the lemon onto your hand. Put a drop of juice on your finger, and touch it with your tongue. Is it terribly sour? Now answer this: did your mouth water? I bet it did! This simple exercise is more likely to make your mouth water. How? Not only do your thoughts create your reality, but they can also affect your body and make you feel as if what you desired was within your grasp. Using your imagination causes your body to react to what you desired as if it really happened. This is the supreme power of the human mind. Your mouth watering is due to an involuntary reflex of the autonomic nervous system. Imagination can make you age faster or age slower. It can cause an ulcer or heal an ulcer. Its how you use your imagination that determines the outcome and its effect on you. The choice is yours. You can dream big or small and be slim or fat, rich or poor, healthy or sick, smart or dumb. Its all up to you. Imagination creates reality; dream up your new world.
~62~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. - Michelangelo
~63~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Chapter 5
Ludicrous Goals
You dont try to build a wall. You dont set out and say Im gonna build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that has ever been built. You say Im going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. You do this every single day, and soon you have a wall. -Will Smith
Next to believing in myself, the idea of setting goals for myself is a pretty foreign concept. Sixteen years of Catholic schooling and not once was I taught how to set and achieve goals. Not one teacher ever spoke of this four-letter bandit. Wasting thousands of dollars in institutions never kept me centered on this legitimate focal point. The only goal I was given was to get a diploma; thats it. The routine of the rat race became more prevalent after every passing failed exam. It was obvious my objective in school was not to think analytically, to grow mentally, to find my own path to understanding, but to conform without question. To obtain a degree that so many seek. My parents being from the Caribbean desire for me to achieve a college diploma. The one thing I had objected and rejected with tenacity. The reality of American society as I see it revolves around the three steps process I like to call the 3 Gs. 1. Get a degree 2. Get a Job 3. Get a casket These three Gs are what I feared of being buttonholed into, what I did my best to avoid all my life. I couldnt bring myself to live this lifestyle even if Gina one of my best friend dragged me into a class room and chained me to the desk of the professor and said,
~64~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
sit boy! now learn or you gets no treats, barking would be useless. The only way out of this prison term was to set my optics on goal setting outside my natural state of euphoria. To set goals outside my comfort zone. This allowed me to stretch my mind, open my eyes and stir my brain in the land of possibility. Working forever at the daily grind was not a destiny I could ever stride toward. College was down that same road.
Slacker
In school, I was never an honor roll student except during my 1st year of high school. After my father passed away, I literally gave up. I was no longer motivated by grades; I needed a paycheck. When your mother is stricken with breast cancer and your uncles and aunts are the ones supporting you, it changes your mindset quite drastically. I began to see this place as a cold, cruel world, where nothing matters except for whats left on the dinner table. If theres no dinner, no one else cares at the end of the day. No one is going to go out of their way to put clothes on your back or food in your digestive tract. The only individuals who truly care are the ones who stood next to you when the storm hit and helped you rebuild the house God tore down. Those are your true friends in life. But as my mind began to slip into the reality of survival, I made an oath to do more than just tread the line. I made it a command to become more. It may have taken me a while to realize it, but the truth was beginning to settle in.
~65~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
So what is a kid supposed to do when hes just lost his dad? Rebellion was my calling. Labeled the class clown, being a slacker became my M.O. Nothing mattered to me at this time in my life. I could have ended up anywhere. I was shocked I even got accepted into college to be perfectly honest. With all the rejection letters I received, I was surprised when St. Johns University in Jamaica, Queens, accepted me for my freshman year. But at about $42,000 a year in tuition, it was obvious I wasnt going to be there long. So I transferred to Stony Brook University and partied like it was 1995. During college, I rarely made it to class, let alone attended schedule tests. I plagiarized because this mundane activity called hard work catapulted me into instantaneous boredom. After being caught plagiarizing my philosophy paper at Stony Brook University, I was sent to a class called How to Do Honest Work in College. I was forced to add this course to my already hectic schedule of partying and sexing female delicacies. But in the end, the only way I could express my feelings for research papers was by buying this poster and hanging it on my wall.
Months after, I still couldnt tell you how this helped me. For I couldnt understand the necessity of writing research papers when my mother couldnt pay the rent or my uncle had just passed away as a result of surgical complications to remove a tumor. And lets not forget textbook purchases. With all the money I was paying for text books, I might as well have been raising a child in my dormitory. Textbook after textbook on statistics, biology and, oh yes, math. With all the stresses from my social and academia, this lead me to soak my animates in marijuana smoke and ESPN highlight reels. But with all the
~66~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
test and quizzes being passed, not to mention midterms and finals, there was one key thing I wasnt being taught: how to set and achieve goals.
What is a Goal?
Ill allow Earl Nightingale, pioneer of personal development, to illustrate the importance of this four-letter noun. Think of a ship with the complete voyage mapped out and planned. The captain and crew know exactly where the ship is going and how long it will take it has a definite goal. And 9,999 times out of 10,000, it will get there. Now lets take another ship just like the first only lets not put a crew on it, or a captain at the helm. Lets give it no aiming point, no goal, and no destination. We just start the engines and let it go. I think youll agree that if it gets out of the harbor at all, it will either sink or wind up on some deserted beach a derelict. It cant go anyplace because it has no destination and no guidance. Its the same with a human being. Plain and simple: People with goals succeed in life because they know where theyre going. My life was headed downhill because I never set a goal for what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be or where I wanted to go. I just wandered, day in and day out, like a feral cat. You may say, Hey, Jonathan, you were in school. Wasnt your goal was to bring home that diploma by any means necessary? Ill reply, Youre right. But I wasnt motivated by this idea. I didnt enjoy waking up every day, listening to my professor yap and yap about a subject which bored the heck out of me, then pretend to study so I can pass the test, hopefully moving onto the next level which is even more daunting, and increasingly difficult to conquer. I just couldnt do it to myself. Im not sure how people do it, but being something Im not is far from my character. No matter how much my mother wanted me to attend school after my decision to stay out; I had to do what made me happy. Since I only live one life, I had to do what I wanted, not what others thought was best for me. Im smart enough to make the right choices, even if it was unconventional. But dont get me wrong, if youve graduated from college or are still in school, good for you, and if youre black, you get two thumbs up. I have a bunch of friends who brag about their diplomas and if youre one of them, congratulations. That is one awesome achievement, no cynicism. Picking your credits for next semester, dealing with the same old cafeteria food, and typing up papers for classes you may not like when youd
~67~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
probably want to relax on a beach somewhere is hard work. I cant downplay any of you guys because Ive been there; its a constant uphill battle. But my experiences in life have shown me if Im not passionate about the idea, I wont work to my fullest potential. And if Im not working at my best, my time is being wasted. When time is being wasted money is being thrown away and I cant afford to do such childish things. Im quite grown. Once you make the decision to grow up, you realize goals are essential to advance in any area of your life. If you dont set goals, youll be nothing more than miserable, impoverished, and share the characteristics of Jane, the hater. If you want to be happy, you need to have a goal in life, some type of aiming point that will keep you feeling alive no matter how bad it may get. Take for instance, if youve decided to take a road trip to Florida. Your buddies are jammed in the back in a four-door sedan youve borrowed from your mom. Three hours on the highway, you ask your best friend for the map and he replies, Dude, I thought you had it. Now youre somewhere between Kansas and Nashville with no clear idea of how to get to Florida. Where do you go from here? How do you get home? Youve taken so many exits during the past few pit stops; you cant recall your last departure from the main road. Now stuck next to a truckers diner which looks like a scene out of a horror flick, youre lost. Millions do the same with their lives. And guess what? They never have gotten home. Without a road map, how can you get to your next destination? You cant. You need to have a goal to give you a sense of direction, an indication of where you want to be. Any goal is better than no goal, in my book. Be clear on where you want to go and who you want to become, for if you set your heart upon it, youll reach it.
~68~
Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Andrew Carnegie - Considered one of the richest men in the world at one point, dropped out of elementary school, and started to work at the age of 13 as a bobbin boy in a textile mill. Will Smith - Grammy-winning rapper, actor. As the Fresh Prince, he and DJ Jazzy Jeff released their first album before he finished high school. They received the first Grammy for a hip-hop act. Due to the success of that first album, Smith decided to dismiss college for show business. W. Clement Stone Multimillionaire insurance businessman, founder ofSuccessmagazine, and author of a number of books on positive mental attitudes. At the age of six, he sold newspapers on the south side of Chicago. By the age of 13, he owned his own newsstand. He continued to work odd jobs until his mother bought a small insurance agency, where he helped her by selling insurance. At the age of 21, with $100 in his pocket, he established the Combined Registry Company insurance business which he built into a multi-million dollar business. He dropped out of elementary school but later attended high school night courses and some college. Stan Lee - Comics creator, Marvel Comics (Spiderman, The Hulk, X-Men, The Fantastic Four). Started working when he was still in high school. Never attended college. Ralph Lauren - Billionaire fashion designer, founder of Polo. Left the City College of New York business school (Baruch College) to design ties for Beau Brummell. Steve Jobs Billionaire co-founder of Apple Computers and Pixar Animation; Disneys largest shareholder. Dropped out of Reed College after six months and went to India before returning to Silicon Valley. As he said, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and how college was going to help me figure it out. Tom Hanks - Oscar-winning actor. Dropped out of Cal State University after a few years to work as an intern at the Great Lakes Theater Festival Louise Hay - One of the bestselling authors in history and founder of Hay House. Of other famous women authors,Levine Breaking Newshas noted, They did not change the spiritual landscape of America and several of its Western allies. They were not pregnant at 15 and they did not lack high school diplomas. Louise Hay did. Ted Turner - Billionaire founder of CNN and TBS, owner of the Atlanta Braves, philanthropist, Americas largest landowner with 1.8 million acres. Was asked to leave Brown University during his fourth year. Got suspended twice, once for having a girl in his room and other activities. In an interview said, Im down to a little more than a billion. You can get by on that if you really economize and dont buy a lot of planes and yachts and stuff.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Thought Id share with you my personal list of people I look up to. You know, youre never too old to have a role model, especially ones who reach billionaire status. People like this reek value, power, and exude the aroma of success. You know the scent. The heavy fragrance or cologne an individual wears that anyone can spot, especially a gold digger. So if you want to reek this type of power, all you need is a major definite purpose, and do whatever you can to achieve it. Stupid Thought: Your major definite purpose in life is the one goal that is important to you at this moment. If you achieve this it will change your life and help you complete all your other goals in a successful fashion. And just remember, failure is the fertilization for success. So dont expect to succeed your first time around. Thats like saying youll become Michael Jordan overnight. Success takes time, but with consistency you can succeed. Some of you are setting goals as we speak but are unconscious of it. This is for all the females in the audience who came out tonight <smiles>. Maybe youre a woman who enjoys cooking wonderful food for your family or would rather eat out. Either way, your goal is to get food into your stomach, right? To feel at ease with what youve created so you and your family can sleep peacefully. Luckily, I was one of those children who had a mother who made sure of that. She always made sure my brother and I had food in our stomachs, and money in our pockets. She made everything from macaroni to chicken soup. Her goal was to keep us feed, educated, and happy. This may be your goal right now as a single mother, widowed or in love with your adoring husband. The point is, even something as common as cooking for your children or buying new clothes for your daughter is a goal. No matter how big or small, its an objective nonetheless. Just apply this same determination to keep your children in line towards a desire you most certainly want to achieve and you can reach it. And if you dont have children, pretend you do and go clothe your dream with only the best life has to offer. Stupid Thought: With small steps you will be able to achieve what once seemed ambiguous at first. Goals provide humans with purposeful direction, channeled energy, and a road map to a final destination. The successful person in society is not the person with the most money. Let me clarify this right up, because most people think if you have a lot of money then youre successful. There are plenty of people who have billions of dollars but are piss-poor in happiness.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Now I know you might say, Negro, please, if you gave me a five-million-dollar home, a few exotic cars, a couple of million dollars, and decent social status, Ill be happier than a kid in a candy store. But, only the misguided believe this fact. The fact of the matter is youre only going to be happy moving towards a worthy idea. You can have all the money in the world, but if you dont a have a purpose, youll end up like those attention-seeking celebrities who we all laugh about during our hour break at work. You know what Im talking about. The successful person knows its about the journey, not the destination. The work it takes to build an empire is much more enjoyable than the knowledge that you have 15,000 employees working for you in the end. I can tell you firsthand. Writing this book, building the website, and networking my ass off with tons of people while creditors threaten to beat me with a baseball bat if I dont pay up, was much more enjoyable than seeing the success of my hard work in any shape or form. Its hard to believe for many, but the truth is a pathless land, why not walk hand and hand with reality?
their lives simply because they have something to do. Its the interest which seems to lend vitality and energy to their lives. And when they do come to the end of their lives, theyre caught up in full stride, fully alive, and still moving towards a new interesting point of call. So goals for such people tend to ascend in stair-like fashion, each one more demanding and fulfilling than the one before. In a few years, they find themselves accomplishing things with surprising ease. They begin to achieve goals that would have been impossible when they began their gyred toward the future. The journey toward a meaningful goal is more fulfilling than the destination itself, leading you into new areas of interest in a surprising kind of synchronicity. Quite often if we read a story with quite the coincidences, they are often a natural part to a goal-oriented persons active life. Wed put it down while muttering, Impossible, but, as astonishing as it may seem, that kind of synchronicity becomes an active part of the goal-oriented persons life. The right people tend to show up at just the right time. Situations suddenly change, opening yawning chasms of opportunity when before there were none. At a meeting we find ourselves being introduced to the exact person we most need at that particular stage of our journey. A minor accident which we may have first perceived as a setback turns out to be a blessing in disguise. For the people working towards goals it may seem as though the smiling face of good fortune has joined us on our quest. And we should learn to be alert for such serendipitous occurrences; there apart from being on the journey, rather than resting at the inn. We should not force such happenings; as the Taoist reminds us, not to push the river. We need to go with the flow; the right things will happen at the right time, without forcing, without impatience. Keep steadily on course, our goal clearly in mind. And we find ourselves with our goal realized one fine day, just as we raise the coast line of the port to where our ship is churning or our sailboats sailing. There it is and we shield our eyes and stand at the rail and imagine we can smell the land and hear the sounds of the busy harbor. Soon we are tied up at the pier; our latest journey is a success. Yes, to me that is the way to live. No matter your situation, set goals. Without it youll be lost at sea as the tides begin to overshadow the starboard. Stuck with the piercing power of Poseidon, you vanish to the bottom of the sea, lifeless, and breathless. Be a champion and set a goal to be the best fighter in your division, youll be amazed at how far you get.
Money Talks
In the late eighties, Bunker Hunt, who rose from being a bankrupted cotton farmer at the age of thirty-five to having a net worth of six to seven billion dollars at the time of
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his death, was once interviewed on television, and asked, What advice can you give to an individual who wants to be financially successful nowadays? He said, Son, I have established hundreds of corporations in my lifetime and made billions of dollars. I found that it is not difficult to be successful, only two things are required. First of all you must decide exactly what it is you want to accomplish. Most people never sit and write down exactly what they truly want out of life, whether physically, mentally, financially or spiritually. You ask a person today how much money they would like to earn this year, they say enough to stay afloat. Ask another person after a workout regimen how much weight they want to lose and they say, I just want to be thin. People never get specific about their desires because they are too afraid of failing. Most people are so scared of failing, attempts turn futile. Aiming low for safety, millions never unlock their true potential. Fear keeps them from growing their wings on their way down. Scared out of their wits, most people fail to live up to their potential. Aiming for the moon is contradictory to their desire, so they live lives of quiet desperation, as Thoreau observed. How low are you aiming? Are your goals challenging enough? Do you even have goals? What are some of your short-term goals? What are your long-terms goals? Wait, before I get ahead of myself: what are your goals for today? Do yourself a favor and write down six objectives which, if acted upon every day, will enhance you financially, physically, and/or mentally over the next few years. Be detailed in description and work towards their attainment. In addition, write down your top ten goals for the next twelve months. Dont place judgment on your desires; just write them down. If you place too big a goal in front of yourself, you may reluctant to try it out. Just follow your heart and youll be surprised at how easy it is to complete such a task. Dont base your future possibilities on past events, and mishaps. Imagine if I had stayed trapped in my depression over my decision to leave school. I would have never been able to have fun, write this book or get over some chick. Lesson from the wise: get (fill in the blank) over it. Start a brand new chapter today. Its really never too late. Bunker then stated Next, you must determine how much you are willing to pay to achieve it. And must resolve to pay that price, making the sacrifices required to reach your goal; thats all that is necessary. He said determine the price and resolve to pay that price. People never make the decision to make sacrifices in order to reach a common goal. I had a friend like this. I think shell know who she is when she reads this. This sultry young evanescence is what you consider a B.S (bull shifter). She feeds you a whole lot of bull and then shifts her cell phone to ignore when its time to get things done. We have
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all known those types of people, that one individual who talk a great game, but when its time to practice, shows up three hours late, airily gives an appointment excuse, and acting like shes on time. Sometimes she wants to reschedule last minute or even better, never shows. A few days later you get call from her, probably a text because she is too much of a coward to admit weakness face to face. Then she follows the same cycle again and again until theyre 60 years old, piss-poor, with nothing to show but hair extensions to where her knees. My advice is to stay away from these kinds of people. Because your five closest friends are reflections of whom you are. And what their bank accounts look like will be the same as yours within the same timeframe. So if your account is overdrawn $3,000, I bet your roommate is not too far from those digits as well. Sacrifices as said before are essential for goal achievement. Fear of failure is what keeps you from achieving success or obtaining, and maintaining happiness. Most of you race to the finish line but never jog a mile. Mentally pumping yourself up for success, but failing to take action. You can do more in a short time with goals than a life time without them. Your destination in life is determined by the clarity to which you see your goals. A clear, definite purpose is necessary to a lifetime of treasure. Golden coins, lavish lifestyles, exotics cars, fine dining, fine women, or fine men for the ladies, can be bonuses, but not objectives. Your goals must be dissected into means and ends. Your end goals are the results you will receive from attainment, such as a lovely home, luxury car or a new wardrobe. Your means goals are the necessary tactics you must do in order to reach the end. If you want to be happy and successful you must choose goals congruent to your lifes plan, purpose and sense of value.
by her side, is absorbed in the accessories for toddlers crafted by Disney, illustrated by Child craft, and displayed in The Childrens Place store. Even though these individuals are madly in love with each other, their values are different based on whats most important to them. You must identify what your values are and select goals congruent with these ideas. If you want to be a successful entrepreneur then the hierarchy of your values will be contacting, reading success literature, developing a sound vision and working towards your goal each and every day. If you want to be a college professor, then your goals would consist of getting your degree, conquering your fear of public speaking, networking with professors in your field of interest, etc. Think about what is most meaningful to you. Beauty, success, love, curiosity, selfexpression, starting a family, mending old friendships, accumulating wealth, weight loss, social welfare, building confidence, developing laser focus, unstoppable determination, physical strength, self-education, preservation of your dreams or accepting college admissions. Be honest with yourself. If success and wealth are more important to you than family, its okay. Ive had this feeling before. Only God can judge you, let people think as they may. Dont let others define you. Or youll definitely be a floor mat others walk on. Place down three of the most valuable aspects of your life on paper without judgment. Then if it may not be up to par, set your values into what it should be. Once completed, work on making this desire a reality.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
We never enter a house together, they replied. Why is that? she asked. One of the old men explained: His name is Wealth, he said, pointing to one of his friends. Pointing to another, he added, He is Success. And I am Love. Then he added, Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home. The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. How nice! he said. Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth! His wife disagreed. My dear, why dont we invite Success? Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love! Let us heed our daughters advice, said the husband to his wife. Go out and invite Love to be our guest. The woman went out and asked the three old men, Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest. Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: I only invited Love, Why are you coming in? The old men replied together: If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us wouldve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever he goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success! If all else fails, choose love. Love will lead to happiness, glory, and truthful expression. Finding love in work comes from developing a love list. List at least three to five things you love to do. Then write down all your strengths. Ask yourself, what would I do if I knew I could not fail? Your answer to this question is your calling. Just follow your beating heart. Love and WorkWork and Lovethat is all there is Sigmund Freud
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sunny. However lovely these experiences may be, they do not give real, long-lasting happiness; they are transitory. Happiness comes from feeling great about who you are, what youre doing and where youre going. It about how you feel right at this instant, not how youll feel after youve applied all these principles or bought your new home. Happiness is a thought away. Its based upon the decision you make here. Okay, enough Tony Robbins-style motivation for one afternoon. Let me share with you a story told by spiritual teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer. It expresses the idea that happiness is truly in the minds of those who think first and ask questions later. This story is about a 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady. She is fully dressed each morning by eight, with her hair fashionably coiffed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind. She is moving to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. I love it, she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. Mrs. Jones, you havent seen the room yet. Just wait. That doesnt have anything to do with it, she replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesnt depend on how the furniture is arranged, its how I arrange my mind. Start sliding some good thoughts into your memory bank.
5. Choose happiness above all other things. Like Bob McFerrin said, Dont worry, be happy, because everything little thing is gonna be alright.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Chapter 6
Idiotic Peace
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr I figure, since youre almost finished with this book, Id open up the chapter with one of my favorite prayers. Im not overly religious even though my mother goes to church more times than an active pastor. But I feel the reality in these words. It connects to me somehow; maybe it does the same for you. These words helped me find inner peace when times of insanity struck my soul, such as when I lost $8,000 on a failed business. Well I recited these words every morning to get me through the day. It was sort of like a guiding force in my life at that time and still is. It has helped get through what some call a harsh reality, and it will to do the same for you, if you believe in a better days.
anguish no matter if Im at a lovely lounge with a beautiful female or reading a book on my front porch on a hot summer day. Peace is not a onetime event. Its having an inner knowledge that no matter where you are right now, youre at ease with the circumstances, good or bad, because nothing in this world is permanent. Everything is changing and so will your circumstances. So let go of your worries so you can continue to grow and enjoy life even when things seem horrendous. I had a hard time finding peace in the beginning. But as I grew wiser, my decisions were more mature. I chose to be happy with where I was and do whats necessary to get where I needed to be. I couldnt get things done while I was upset. I had to be content right then and there. If I wasnt happy now, a fancy car wouldnt be enough to make me smile. Id probably complain about its excess gas usage, constant expenses to keep with maintenance, and my friends always bumming rides from me. I had to change how I felt inside to receive a different outer circumstance. I had to change my reaction or perception in order to be at peace. So, Thanks a lot, I really appreciate that, became my new mantra. I chartered aboard the plane of appreciation and left my baggage at the gate. Though security was tight, when you fly private, you cant tell the different. Gratitude is a clich similar to the line white men cant jump. You cant disagree with a fact, and gratitude is just the same. When youre appreciative of what you have, you cant complain about whats bad in your life. Why? Because youre too busy admiring the struggle and the triumphs, the trials and tribulations, the highs and the lows, the good and the bad. These events create who you are, chiseling your character with an ice pick, with a determination to create a sculpture not too far from Michelangelos David. When you learn to appreciate, life is seen as a blessing not a traffic jam over the Brooklyn Bridge with your pregnant wife in the throes of labor pains screaming, You did this to me. Its you soaking up all the good in your life to get rid of the bad feeling you may have. Happiness begins to follow you everywhere you go because youre thankful for the clothes on your back, food in your stomach, paycheck at the end of the week, the ability to hear, walk, and see. As I began learning to appreciate what I had, everything seemed to change for me. I started to see the life I lived as a miracle because I could have been someone else. I could have been in jail, falsely accused for a crime, inside an eight by twelve cell in complete innocence. I could have been a cashier at the local Quick-Mart with three children and the rent past due. I could have been a hit with tuberculosis as a youngster and left wheelchair. I could have been a Navy Seal who lost his life over some rich mans greed. I could have been a prostitute who believes her only value comes from
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
establishing sexual favors for money. I could have been a plumber who has a racist boss, but cant leave his job because he needs to pay his daughters college tuition. I could have been any of these people, but Im not. And I thank God every day that Im who I am. Start feeling the same. Everyone has a story. Everyone goes through pain, struggling every day, and living lives filled with regret is what most do. Life is a harsh reality for millions. But if you begin to be grateful for what you have, youll become more at ease with your situation, and find a rational way to solve your troubles with intelligence. Kick the habit of being miserable and close the door on company that came with it. I moved out of my habit patterns of cynicism and became more grateful for what I had. I lowered my anger towards myself and raised the bar for what is possible. Doing this was not easy, but with practice it was one of the best decisions Ive ever made. Learn to be grateful for what you have now. Everything could be taken from you in a millisecond. Just be happy with what you have and peace will follow as the architect of your thoughts. Stupid Thought: When times look bleak, its always best to stay calm and think things through. Only the strong survive and the warriors of today never panic. Take it one step at a time. You can persevere through the pain. As Fredrick Douglass who was a brilliant orator, abolitionist, editor, reformer, lecturer, statesman and womens suffragist said, Without struggle, there is no progress.
Whats inside?
Let me share with you words from Dr. Wayne Dyer who can help you see the vision of peace more clearly, now Im paraphrasing, so hold nothing against me. When you take this orange and you squeeze it as hard as you can squeeze it, what comes out? Orange juice! Never, no matter how many times you squeeze it, will apple juice come out, therere no mistakes. Now we expand the metaphor and someone squeezes you. That is, someone says something about you that you dont like. One behaves in a way towards you that is expensive. Somebody does or says something to you that hurts you. And out of you come anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, fear, anxiety, and stress and immediately you say the reason it comes out of me is because of how they said it. But the reality is that what comes out is what is inside. And if you dont like whats inside you can change it. One character trait of the greatest players in sports is the ability to stay calm and resilient when the pressure is on. Whether theres 4.1 seconds on the shot clock, their
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team is down two points and the championship on the line these individuals are calmer than a smooth summer breeze in Montana. When its the bottom of the ninth with bases loaded, and the greatest pitcher in the game since Tom Seaver is on the mound, the great players in the world are calm in pivotal, game-winning situations. Pressure does two things: Busts pipes or creates diamonds flawlessly crafted as if God himself placed his hands around this beautiful gem. If you want to enjoy the journey of success, let go of the pressure. Realize success is important, but not that important. As long as you put forth the effort, add creative thinking, and have a solid support system; no worries should consume your brain. Life is too short not to be at peace. Jamal died at 19 years old, he never knew what peace was, until he was resting in peace. Take life one day at a time; be grateful for what you have, and walk calm, and crisply toward your goals.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Damsel in Distress
Annulled and astonished about her place in society, a young woman approached me with a sense of unsettlement. She was out of harmony and wanted some solid advice on how to end her mental confusion. She said, My thoughts are all over the place. I just need peace of mind. I need a babysitter for the children, my husband keeps nagging me for some alone time, and I need a new job. Man, I just want to escape it all! Can you help me? Honestly, I just wanted to get her phone number, but after hearing she had a husband I didnt need the bad karma. So I advised her set aside 10 minutes each and every day in pure silence. Several weeks later I ran into her at a local bodega. She greeted me warmly with a hug and a kiss while her husband glared. She told me shed completely changed her way of thinking. Everything seems to just flow so much better now. Im not as stressed as I used to be. Im more organized and even my confidence has risen. Ive only been meditating for about three weeks now, but I can feel the difference already. Thanks so very much, Jonathan. Its been months since I seen her, but I know shes doing okay.
Steps to Silence
1. Find a quiet place where you wont be interrupted. Sit where you feel comfortable but not so comfortable that you risk falling asleep. (This has happened to me many times after work and I end up waking up the next morning, so dont get too relaxed.) Keep your back straight, sit on the floor, couch or soft cushion in a lotus pose and place your hands in a comfortable position. 2. Take deep breaths while concentrating on your breath. As you begin to slide into deep relaxation, your thoughts will begin to fade away. Dont worry if you dont silence your mind completely; it takes a lot of practice. But with persistence this new activity will become a habitual part of your life.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
The governor, in his travels, stepped in to pay homage to the Master. - Affairs of state leave me no time for lengthy dissertations. Could you put the essence of religion into a paragraph or two for a busy man like me? - I shall put into a single word for the benefit of your highness. - Incredible! What is this most unusual word? - Silence. - And what is the way to Silence? - Meditation. - And what, may I ask, is meditation? - Silence. - Lao Tzu
Meditation provides an endless supply of joy and self-acceptance. While writing this chapter, I read a line from Dr. Dawna Markova, No Enemies Within which struck a chord in me. Allow me to pull the strings. Nasty creature, fangs dripping evil, open jaws revealing a dark, foul black throat, Milarepa stepped closer to this huge demon... And said with quiet compassion, I must understand your pain and what it is you need in order to be healed. Then he put his head in the mouth of this enemy. In that instant, the demon disappeared...
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Stupid Thought: If you dont define yourself, others will define you. You maybe a woman who thinks like this on an ongoing basis. And believes guys will fall in love with you because you look so attractive. But if the guy falls for how you look on the outside, which person will fall in love with whats on the inside? The real you, the woman who picks her children up from daycare after a long hard day of work. The woman who cooks a real meal and refuses to use Stovetop no matter the occasion. The woman who is spiritual only because she been through some things, God himself put her through just to make her stronger. The woman who writes poetry in private to express how she truly feels inside because she thinks no man will ever understand her, so shes forever misunderstood. Her past experiences have taught her to keep her love hidden, because the first time she told a guy I love you, he smiled it off, and said thanks Ill call you back. Knowing she never felt like this for another person before. She now lives sheltered behind alcohol and cigarette butts until that wound fully heals, if it ever does. I bet youve been though something also. Im not a counselor, or going to give you a 15-second technique to get over what life has handed you over and over again. But even though the past is heart-wrenching and sometimes too painful too look at; you have one thing on your side, the present moment. Today is a brand new day and things can change for you right now. As long as youre ready to make the transition. You can learn to get over these sad events by looking yourself in the mirror today and accepting who you are right now. It may take a while as you didnt invent these patterns of thought overnight. But if you stand in front of your mirror and start saying its okay, I can move on and I love who I am no matter what because I am great. I deserve great things and will achieve whatever will make me happy. With belief and confidence, yourself image will begin to change from negative to positive with patience. You will begin to grow more mature as a woman quite rapidly. The premise is to, love thyself. No point in seeking what you desire in someone else, when you have it already.
As a youngster I used comedy as a way to stay relevant with the cool kids. But as I grew older, I just became the type of guy who could make anyone smile. Its just who I am. Whenever my friends and I get together all we do is laugh and crack jokes. It makes life fun, exciting, and a truly a blessing. One of the things I want you to do is laugh. Let go of the misery in your life today. Pop in a tape of your favorite movie and laugh until you cry. Then appreciate the moment, for these are the events which truly matter in life. Do whatever you have to so you can spend more time laughing then crying. Take things in your reality lightly, for this is why all angels fly above the clouds. Laughter heals all wounds and places you in a position of joyous celebration. Even if today isnt your birthday, laugh likes its 1975 or as if you just hit the Lotto. Find peace of mind in the simplicity of laughter, (unless your asthmatic then you need Albuterol!)
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
And when I get that feeling I want sexual healing Sexual healing, oh baby Makes me feel so fine Marvin Gaye Sex in college for me was everything next to beer pong extravaganzas. And if youre a guy, or a girl who doesnt want to admit it, then you know what Im talking about. The three-letter word which was shunned by our parents when we asked them, Where do babies come from? I dont know about you, but my mother gave me the most ridiculous answers known to man. Such as the sky; they sprout from the ground or even better, planet Mars, she did her best to keep me from finding out myself. But that didnt last too long. But this isnt about me, this is about you, and how sex can benefit your life. I pretty much think I got your attention, so lets get to the nitty gritty. When youre in position, make sure you nah Im kidding. One of the greatest benefits of sex is it releases stress which establishes inner peace and relaxation. Its one of the safest and greatest interactions which can bring peace to ones souls soon after. This is why guys like me make you ladies fall right asleep after one is released; waking up the next day rejuvenated and cooking breakfast after you had such a long nap. The power of sex heals the mind from disastrous ideas, concepts of a destructive nature. I was once told by a man, who was going to revolve his issue with his wife with verbal cadavers upon her arrival her home that sex saved him from over reaching.. He said, Id had enough of her nagging and I felt it was time give her a piece of my mind. I asked him So what happened? I dont see any rouses of mental anguish or disturbances; they were apparently holding hands rather tightly. For his wife was seated right next to him. He said We started to have sex; I forgot all about it. She put it on me. We all laughed hysterically. No matter how uncomfortable you may be with this subject matter, Im not sure why you may be but sex is how you were created. No one on this earth was born without their parents getting it on. Please do your best to remove that image. Sex reduces stress, relieves tension, raises your self-esteem and after, you feel calm, relaxed, and satisfied. Sex is a great way to slow down, relax and enjoy an experience probably not too keen in heaven. So if youre feeling down and out dont worry; sex can clear that right up. Enjoying ecstasy with the one you love. What else can you ask for? Its free, easy and there is no off switch.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
To my mother and brother Savenise Gelin and Billy Figaro So much could be said about what youve done for me. All I can say is thank you.
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Acknowledgements
Jason Ross, Khalfani Saunders, Charlie Sotiriou, Chris Harris, Dave Valvano, Nitesh Singh, Bryan Deonarine, Hi Lo Entertainment, James Scott, Chris Stanley, Christopher, Harris, Father Rocco, Christopher Columbus before he killed the Indians, Mrs. Mercanci, Mercedes aka Grandma and The entire Gelin family. There are too many of you to name but if you know who I am, been in my life for an early age and know where Uncle Ronald lives, that means you. (Shana, Edward, Jimmy, Andy, Ketsia, Melissa, Julie, Nina, Hudson, Huns etc.)
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
Works Cited: 1. 2. 3. Earl Nightingales Lead the Field Psychology of Achievement by Bryan Tracy http://verydemotivational.memebase.com
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com
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Copyright Jonathan Figaro. All rights reserved. www.JonathanFigaro.com