DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA?

think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany

Meeting in the Tower of

Babel
The world speaks Globish. As economies and societies grow together,
the necessity for transnational communication increases. The result is
a weird, improvised and, well, impoverished version of today’s global
tongue: English. American Linguist Steven Donahue does not like it.
 DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA?
think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany

ving language on the face of

the earth
Parlez Globish!”) standard English
Faster than an SMS, sentence: “Jean-
able to leap “Parlez Globish” Paul
borders approaches English Nerrière lays out
in a single syllable, from a business that theory, and
a new bastard angle thatsprings everyone
language from Nerrière’s can play with it as
now threatens past employment they wing and hop
Anglo-American with IBM. Globish is around the world.”
linguistic English-light
dominance of the without the Transformed into
business world. cholesterol of Globish, it
Henceforth, English cumbersome becomes: “Jean-
is fired; Esperanto spelling, Paul Nerrière builds
is vocabulary, idioms and demonstrates
expired; Interlingua and pronunciation. that theory, and
is tired; Globish is “DON’T everyone
now has a chance to
allegedly wired for
SPEAK experiment with it
the world of the ENGLISH as soon as he or
she travels a lot
third
millennium.
PARLEZ around the world.”
Globish owes its GLOBISH The site also offers
genesis to
Madhukar
INSTEAD,” a clutch of Globish
Gogate. Back in SAYS JEAN- books for people
whose native
1998, he built a
simplified
PAUL languages are
version of English NERRIÈRE Italian,
Spanish, Japanese
predicated upon a In fact, Nerrière’s
subset of high- or Korean and who
main intent seems
frequency want to master
to
vocabulary. Globish.
be on curbing the
influence of “Coca-
In 2004, Frenchman Mercy beaucoup,
Cola English”
Jean-Paul Nerrière Mister Nerrière—
throughout the
took up Gogate’s but whythe hassle?
world.
language mission
and published a Maybe there is no
On Nerrière’s Web
French language need for Globish.
site (www.jpn-
book entitled globish.com)
“Parlez English is the most
the following
Globish.” (Full title: forgiving language
example is
“Don’t speak on the face of the
presented as the
English: earth, a language
 DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA?
think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany
which allows any responded, “Fifteen Can native English
conceivable error in or fifty?” The speakers
pronunciation, Haitian understand
syntax or even angrily retorted, Globish? Of course
semantics. “Why don’t you they can. At New
learn English? York’s JFK airport I
Why go to all Who wants $50 in overheard a Korean
this trouble to gas?” and a Japanese
simplify a language conversing in what
that can Forgive me if I was at first an
be mangled sound indistinguishable
without penalty? conservative, but tongue to me.
to me this seems to
People get along all show that there is a Fortunately, like
the time with real genuine interest in listening to Scots
English, even when correct English— jabbering at a pub,
it is rough around and not a need for I
its edges. I hail a new, simplified was eventually able
from the American Globish tongue. to tune in my ear
city of enough to
Miami, Florida (or Given that the urge comprehend the
as Globish would to tinker with strained English.
have it: English is But then, who
I coming from probably wants to feel like
Miami), where the irresistible, what being in a
rough-andready does a Globish pub all the time?
approach is on sentence look like? Of course, the
constant display. appeal of Globish
The sentence “Two fits perfectly
It even seems as if fine cats quickly with the economic
even immigrants went to the city” is fad of globalization:
develop a rendered, in Learn English
remarkable interest Globish, “too faain quickly and make a
in linguistic kaets kwikli went tu ton of
questions. I thuh dough just as fast.
recently saw a siti.” Note that Its proponents
Haitian walk up to capital letters are claim it
the counter only used can be learned in a
at a gas station and for abbreviations mere 182 hours.
tell the Hispanic and periods
clerk, become While the
“Give me $15 on triplets. Spelling is expansion of
pump two.” The a phonetic free-for- Globish may offer
clerk all. its users a method
of simplified
communication,
 DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA?
think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany
Globish advocates
should note that in
SAYS that is increasingly
beside the point.
the more than 100 STEVEN
years since
Esperanto’s
DONAHUE. English is a
language with so
I closed my eyes to
invention, it has little grammar that
the sparkling water
noticeably failed to it steals vocabulary
of
become the lingua wherever it can.
Biscayne Bay, and
franca of global There is
heard a jangle of
business. The no point in
clashing tongues.
same fate, I am simplifying it.
The Spanish
sorry to predict (or, Native speakers
participants were
well, are working on that
inserting “claro,”
maybe not so aspect of the
“tiqui-tiqui” and
much), awaits language
“cono” into every
Globish. continuously. Their
other sentence; the
children are
French speakers
During a vexing pushing
were doing their
business meeting these trends even
best to keep
at the tony further.
English on the
Mandarin Oriental
back burner by
hotel in Miami, over Nerrière’s favorite
speckling it with a
bottles of a examples involve
stock of French
California mystery using slang-laden
phrases; the Italian
wine, the English to show off
was engrossed in
conversation the supposed
speaking mostly to
devolved from its superiority of
the waiter about
primary focus on Globish.
the best
the British OFEX
Vespa scooter, in
market to a slur of For example,
his native
babble in this “This erstwhile
language.
trendy Globish. buddy of yours is a
GLOBISH Effective?
weird
duck who will
MAKES Definitely not. In
probably put the
BUSINESS the end, the
kibosh on all
of our good ideas.”
MEETINGS meeting
failed almost as
MORE surely as if it had
In Nerrière’s
decaffeinated
EFFECTIVE? been hosted at the
Tower of Babel.
Globish, the
NOT speaker utters
instead: “Your
REALLY, Advocates of
Globish are pushing
old friend is too
strange. He would
something
ruin all our efforts.”
 DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA?
think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany
Of course, that is speakers are a
what good native matter of muddling
English through.
communicators
would do anyway— In conclusion, there
come down to the is no need for
appropriate Globish.
level for the The proof is in the
persons they are pudding.
conversing
with, and strip Recently, I met
away the slang and with a group of
idioms. Indian
programmers,
Many non-native speaking English
speakers about an intricate
outperform software coding
native speakers in project. While the
their fluent and English was
careful different,
use of English. there was no doubt
NATO’s secretary- we were on the
general, same
Jaap de Hoop page. After a long
Scheffer, came to day together, one
Washington in of them
October 2006 for expressed the wish
talks with top that I have a “tight
American sleep,” apparently
officials. His English intending the idiom
was practiced, “sleep tight.” Did
nuanced and finely the programmer’s
tuned. Some mistake
observers rated it matter? Not in the
better than the least. I got the drift
version spoken by and
his American did in fact have a
counterparts. wonderful sleep
after a productive
But the de Hoop day’s work.
Scheffer
phenomenon is an
exception. Most
interactions
between native and
non-native
“ The single biggest
problem in
communication is
the illusion that it
has taken place.”
George Bernard Shaw