Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
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Be open, honest, direct and assertive Do not blame Let people know the result of their actions Create measurable goals for employees Try to determine if a work-related matter is driving the behavior
Copyright Workers Assistance Program, Inc. 2004
Traps to Avoid
Becoming angry or defensive Not asserting yourself Believing you can change them Wishing they were different Expecting the same pattern/ Overgeneralization
Blaming Framing as negative Not planning ahead Rambling / Unclear Points Trying to Counsel
Adapted from Dealing with Negotiation Breakdowns presentation, Dr. Frank Jeffries, University of Alaska & David Posen, MD
Copyright Workers Assistance Program, Inc. 2004
Going to the Balcony Step to their side Reframe Build them a golden bridge Use power to educate
Adapted from Getting Past No by Ury
Paraphrase - restate key concepts Perception checking Search for specificity Ask probing questions Backtrack Pacing
Listening
When meeting with a difficult employee: Suspend Judgment: Judgment stops communication, you may need to take time to digest the communication before addressing an issue Show Interest: Remove distractions and set aside time to talk. Remember that your body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions are very important Avoid Lecturing: Just imagine a parent lecturing a teenager - the effect is the same
Copyright Workers Assistance Program, Inc. 2004
Coping Skills
Dealing with the Attacker/Aggressor:
Distinguish between useful venting vs. tantrums Give the aggressor some time to vent. Breathe and remain calm. Practice active listening skills. Assertively express opinion. Emphasize that while their point may be valid, others opinions must be equally heard and respected. Be friendly.
Adopted from The Triangles of Management and Leadership by Paul B. Thornton
Coping Skills
Dealing with the Victim: Practice active listening skills, feedback your understanding, and help clarify problems and tasks. Focus on planning, prioritizing, and accomplishing short-term goals. Facilitate discussion to assist in choosing a course of action. Ask for a solution. Victims need to be recognized regularly for their efforts and successes. Recognize them for taking responsibility.
Adopted from The Triangles of Management and Leadership by Paul B. Thornton
Copyright Workers Assistance Program, Inc. 2004
Coping Skills
Dealing with the Complainer:
Listen attentively to their complaints. It allows one to: Let off steam, provide pertinent info, diminish powerlessness Acknowledge by paraphrasing main points and checking perception of feelings. Be prepared to interrupt politely but firmly. Dont agree, it validates them as blameless. Move to a problem solving mode. If all else fails, ask them how they want the discussion to end and what end result they want.
Copyright Workers Assistance Program, Inc. 2004
Coping Skills
Dealing with the Pessimist: Listen to and acknowledge their perspective but do not let it absorb you Remind Pessimist of the groups goals Emphasize the importance of staying focused and moving forward Celebrate their accomplishments but keep them focused on the big picture
Coping Skills
Dealing with the Rescuer:
Accountability is important when working with a Rescuer Emphasize and support following through with their commitments Improving time management can help them prioritize their tasks Assign more tasks if they have time.
Adopted from The Triangles of Management and Leadership by Paul B. Thornton
Coping Skills
Dealing with the Clam: Ask open-ended questions Do not fill in silence with your conversation. Wait calmly for a response. Comment on whats happening if you receive no response. Flow with tangents, they may lead to something relevant. Develop trust when possible.
Accountability
Accountability pertains to taking responsibility for actions, behaviors or problems. Not holding someone accountable for their actions is enabling. Accountability involves addressing behavior or performance deterioration in a timely manner. Do not take sides or favor employees. Do not make accommodations or exceptions for difficult employees. Doing so will result in a cycle of nonproductive behavior. Follow the organizations disciplinary policies and procedures to avoid liability.
Copyright Workers Assistance Program, Inc. 2004
Action
Revisit policies and procedures before taking action Consult with Human Resources if necessary Expect employees denial, blaming of others, anger or volatile responses Meet with employee to address difficult behavior This is an opportunity to provide feedback and coaching If response is not positive, begin disciplinary process
Copyright Workers Assistance Program, Inc. 2004
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DIFFICULT BEHAVIORS
Attacker/Aggressor
Hostile and loud, lacks listening skills and talks over people. Bullies to achieve what they want.
Coping Skills Give the aggressor some time to vent. Breathe and remain calm. Recognize your own defensiveness. Practice active listening skills. This can calm them. Acknowledge what they have said by paraphrasing. Ex. I know you may think Assertively express your opinion. Ex In my opinion, I think... Anticipate challenges. Practice what to say. Emphasize that while their point may be valid, others opinions must be equally heard and respected.
Complainer
Not interested in problem solving, blames and accuses others. Gets worse if ignored.
Coping Skills Listen attentively to their complaints. It allows one to: Let off steam, provide pertinent info, diminish powerlessness Acknowledge by paraphrasing main points and checking perception of feelings. Ex. So you feel ________ because ______. Dont agree, it validates them as blameless. Be prepared to interrupt politely but firmly. Ask specific questions and stick to the facts. Move to a problem solving mode. If their complaint is job-related, determine whether theyre unable or unwilling to perform the required duties. Take appropriate action. If all else fails, ask them how they want the discussion to end and what end result they want.
Pessimist
See the glass as half empty. Nothing goes right. Always expresses negativity.
Coping Skills Before approaching them, have a few examples of negative behavior Listen briefly and acknowledge their perspective. Dont agree or disagree. Ex. So its tough for you Ask for positive alternatives. What could you do to make it better? State your own (more positive) perception. Ex. My perception is a little different. I feel Remind pessimist of the groups goals Emphasize change is necessary and offer to help Focus on their strong points. Acknowledge their accomplishments Remain positive and end the conversation with a positive statement, You can do it.
Victim
Attribute their problems to others and come across as timid and helpless.
Coping Skills Practice active listening skills, feedback your understanding, and help clarify problems and tasks. Focus on planning, prioritizing, and accomplishing short-term goals. Facilitate discussion to assist in choosing a course of action. Ask for a solution. Victims need to be recognized regularly for their efforts and successes. Recognize them for taking responsibility.
Rescuer
Willing to help others, takes on too many tasks and struggles completing own work.
Coping Skills Accountability is important when working with a rescuer. Emphasize and support following through with their commitments. Improving time management can help them prioritize their tasks. Assign more tasks if they have time.
Clam
Learned unresponsiveness, noncommittal
Coping Skills When meeting, set a time limit up front. Ask open-ended questions Do not fill in silence with your conversation. Wait calmly for a response. Comment on whats happening if you receive no response. Ex. Can you talk about what makes it difficult to talk? Are you concerned about my reaction? or I understand this is hard; it is important though. or Whats the conflict? or You look distressed. If no response, state this is important and reschedule meeting. When they open up, be attentive and watch your own impulse to talk. Flow with tangents, they may lead to something relevant.
Strengths
High
Persuasive Risk-Taker Competitive Pursues Change Socially Skilled Inspiring Open Direct Outgoing Practical Orderly Very Direct Self-Determined Organized Traditional Goal-Oriented Dependable Economical Ambitious
4 4
High
Team-Oriented Caring Devoted Enthusiastic Helpful Accessible Trusting Sensitive Good Listener Good Friend Likes Variety Gregarious Peacemaker
R L
D T
3
Low
Exacting Thorough Factual Reserved Meticulous Practical Calm Has High Standards Risk-Avoider
1
Directive
Low
Affiliative
High
Pushy Intimidating Overbearing Restless Impatient Manipulative Abrasive Reactive Dominating Dogmatic Bossy Stubborn Rigid Unapproachable Distant Critical Insensitive
4 4
High
Too Other-Oriented Indecisive Impractical Vulnerable Hesitant Subjective
R L
D T
3
Low
Slow to Get Things Done Perfectionist Withdrawn Dull Sullen Shy Passive
1
Directive
Low
Affiliative
High
6
Attention Achievement Recognition Adventure Excitement Spontaneity Control Responsibility Mastery Loyalty Fast Pace
4 6 5 4
High
Popularity Closeness Affirmation Kindness Caring
R L
D T
3
Low
Perfection Autonomy Consistency Practical Things Information
1
Directive
Low
Affiliative
High
6
Lack of Enthusiasm Waiting Indecision Convention Ambiguity Irreverence Laziness Showing Emotions
4 6 5 4
High
Insensitivity Dissension Insincerity Egotism
R L
D T
3
Low
Over-Assertiveness Carelessness Arrogance Fakes
1
Directive
Low
Affiliative
2. What is the one thing you have learned about that difficult behavior/person?
3. What is one thing (be specific) you could do to interact more effectively with that type?
There is no way to win an argument or confrontation with a customer. AVOID these situations. When customers are demanding or abusive, they are inviting you to respond. Constructive ways to respond could include saying the following: I want to be helpful but I dont understand how to best do that. May I ask a few questions to clarify what has happened and what you need? * Try to see things from the customers point of view
Put yourself in the customers shoes. Ask yourself: How would I feel in this situation? Recognize that in most situations there is another point of view. * Use the customers name
The use of a persons name demonstrates respect and turns an impersonal interaction into a personal one. People are most likely to be difficult and disrespectful when they feel they are being treated like a number and not as a person. * Clarify needs and suggest alternatives
When people are feeling angry, scared, upset, disrespected or stressed, they often make requests or demands which, to them, seem to be the only way to solve a problem or fill a need that they have. In other words, the demand is their solution to a problem. If you can engage them in a discussion about the underlying need, you may be able to suggest a solution that meets their need and is possible in terms of policy and your time constraints. * Validate the customers feelings
This means letting the customer know that you hear how upset he or she is. Validating the customers feelings does not necessarily imply that you agree with the customers grievance. For example, you might say: I know this is frustrating for you. I can understand that you would be upset. If you can bear with us while we try to rectify this situation. * Dont take it personally
When a customer is rude, demanding or angry and unloads it on you, try hard not to take this behavior personally. Some employees get very angry at an unfair attack. Others become embarrassed when a customer yells at them in front of other people. One of the most difficult things to do is remain calm and to continue feeling good about yourself. There are a number of things you might tell yourself when a customer is angry or rude. 1. I must accept that I only have so much control and find the best solutions under the circumstances.
2. I will not let this person bait me into behaving in an angry, rude or discourteous manner. I decide how I will act. 3. This person is embarrassing himself/herself by acting so abusively in front of all these people. I will do my best to help him/her save face. 4. Even though I made an error, or may not have all the answers, I am entitled to respect. This person obviously doesnt recognize that. I will remain polite and considerate despite this unnecessary attack.
5. This person is having a difficult time. Something is blocking his/her ability to be calm and pleasant. I will not take this personally, even though this person is doing his/her best to dump blame on me. 6. I must not let the clients displeasure make me feel that Im not doing a good job.
Source: WPOI, 2002
Thoughts
Thoughts about the event Based on beliefs and values
Feelings
Emotional reactions to the event
Behaviors
Actions in response the behaviors
Any Occurrence
Example 1
A coworker is quickly dismissive of and attacks a suggestion or idea you made in a meeting.
Calmer Confident
Response is to the message, not to the delivery. Assert your own view, while acknowledging the others.
Example Example 3 2
For the following questions, please use the following scale: 5= Strongly Agree 4=Agree 3=Undecided 2=Disagree 1= Strongly Disagree
About The Training Seminar: _________ 1. The goals/objectives of the seminar were clearly presented. _________ 2. The training seminar was very well organized. _________ 3. The training seminar was intellectually challenging and stimulating _________ 4. The training seminar presented me new information _________ 5. I thought the activities incorporated in the seminar were beneficial, and enhanced my understanding of the subject matter. _________ 6. The training seminar met my expectations. _________ 7. I would recommend this seminar to other people. _________ 8. In the future, I would attend another AWP training seminar. About The Instructor/Trainer: _________ 1. The instructor was responsive to all my questions and comments. _________ 2. This instructor was enthusiastic and motivational. _________ 3. The instructors explanations and examples of the content were clear. _________ 4. The instructor was a well-organized lecturer. _________ 5. The instructor effectively demonstrated his/her knowledge of the seminar topic. _________ 6. I would come to another training seminar that this instructor was teaching. Please take a moment and answer these additional questions in your own words. 1. What did you like most about training session? - Please be specific ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ 2. What are your suggestions for improving this training seminar? ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ 3. Other comments or suggestions:
________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Format Layout Adapted from TX State Evaluation, James McCroskey surveys, 2007 Content of Survey- Original work of Abby T. Hobart, 2007