OnSantaClaus ThisisanessayonSantaClausdedicatedtothosewhomaynotbeluckyenoughtomeethim thisChristmasEve. DoyoubelievethatSantareallyexists?Personally,Idon'trememberatimewhenIwasnot excitedaboutChristmasEve.OnthenightofoneChristmasEveduringmychildhooddays,I gotintoanargumentwithafriendoverthequestionofwhetherSantaClausexisted.Sointense wastheargumentthatiteventuallybroughtourfriendshiptoanend. "Comeon,"myfriendsaid."ThereisnoSantaClausinthisworld!Whileweareasleepinour bed,ourparentsputthepresentsnexttothepillows.Iknowthat." "No,"Iprotested."Onthecontrary,SantaClausabsolutelyexists!" "Allrightthen,ifSantaClausreallyexists,howdoeshecomeintoyourhouse?Youdon'teven haveachimney.There'snowayhecanclimbintoyourhome.Iliveinanapartmenttoo,soI know." "IbelieveinSantaClausandyoudon't.Thatisall!

" Indeed,duringthattime,myfamilywerelivinginasmallbungalowaftermyfatherwalkedouton us,andtherewerenochimneysexceptfortheonesattheprimaryschool'sincineratorandthe publicbath.Moreover,atthatverymoment,Ihadneithertheknowledgenorlanguagetodefend mybeliefinSantaagainsttheonslaughtofmyfriend'squestions.Nevertheless,Icontinuedto believeinthemagicofChristmasand,foryearstocome,myheartwouldjumpforjoyasthe beautifulnightofmiraclesapproached.Unlikemycynicalfriend,IchosetobelieveinSanta, eventhoughIhadneverseenhimwithmyowneyes. I'mnotaChristianandatthatageIdidn'tevenknowmuchaboutChristmasDayitself. However,everyChristmasEve,mymotherwouldmakefruitpunchandbakecakesformyclose friends(althoughIhatedbothofthese).IexpectedthegirlthatIlikedtocometotheparty.As youcantell,Iwasjustanordinaryboy. Timeflewbyand,beforeIknewit,Ireachedthelegalageofanadult.Then,onespecialnight, whenIhadalmostforgottenthatitwasChristmasEve,Ibumpedintosomeoneinthelobbyofa hotelnexttoaskislope.Loandbehold,itwashim,theoneandonlySantaClaus!Santawas dressedinhisredhatandredcostumeandwascarryingawhitecottonbagfilledwithpresents forchildren.However,hewasalotslimmerthanIhadimaginedandhewasn'twearingablack belt.Hedidn'thaveabushymoustacheeither.Furthermore,hewasnotawhiteCaucasian. Instead,hehadlongandnarroweyesandtypicalAsianfeatures.Byatwistoffate,hewas actuallyJapanese.Evenso,inmymind,hewaswithoutdoubttherealSantaClaus.

Ikeptmydistanceandobservedhimfromafar,tryingtoforgetsomeunhappyaffairsofthe heart,havingbrokenupwithmygirlfriendalittlewhileago.Hewassmokingapipeandwhite smokerosefromit,curlingupintotheairagainstthefallingsnow,asifclimbingoutofa chimney.Balancingonhiskneeswasahugevolumeofabook,whichremindedmeoftheone readbythecharacterAtreyuinthefilmTheNeverEndingStory.Therewasnotextinthebook. Nothinghadbeenwritteninit.Frombehindahugeglasswindow,whichmeasuredabout500 squaremetres,helookedoutintotherelentlesssnow,surveyingthemountainsinthedistance andtherestofus. IhadahugenumberofquestionsforSantaClaus,especiallysinceIhadsufferedthelossof childhoodfriendsoverargumentsabouthim.Howdoeshemanagetodistributepresentsto childrenallovertheworldwithinonenight,withouteventakingtimedifferencesintoaccount? Howdoesheenterahousewithoutachimney?Overthelongcourseofhumanhistory, especiallysinceindustrialrevolution,theearthhasbeenlitup,allowingustostayuplate.So howmanychildrenhavecaughtyououtwhileyouareworking?ApartfromChristmasEve,how doyouspendtherestoftheyear?Whyisitsodifficultforcynicalpeopletobelieveinyou?Who areyoureally? Fromanearlyage,IhadfounditdifficulttotalktopeoplethatIdidn'treallyknow.Conversations withstrangersdidn'tcomeeasytome.Ihadproblemsovercomingmyshynessandthisoften ledmetoignorethosewhoweretryingtohavefriendlychatswithme.Iwasatimidboy,afraid ofgettinghurt.SoIspentalongtimemullingoverhowIshouldstartmyconversationwith Santa.IknewIhadtoovercomethisbarrierandgotmyfirstsentenceout,evenifIcouldn't finishwhatIwantedtosay.Eventually,Iopenedmymouthanduttered,"Areyougoingon holidaythisyear?Didyouknowthatitisalreadymidnightnow?" Beingsopainfullyshy,Ididn'tfinditeasytoanswerpeople'squestionseither.Thiswasthe reasonwhyIwasafraidtotalktopeople,forfearthatIwouldsaysomethingsillyinresponseand embarrassmyself.However,SantaClaus,withafaintsmileandbrushingasidemyquestions, gesturedtometositdownoppositehimonanexpensivesofainthelobby.Aftersettlingdown onthesofa,IsomehowcompletelyforgotwhatIhadplannedtoaskhim.Instead,Ifoundmyself talkingtohimaboutarecentrelationship,whichendedonlyashortwhileago.Havinglistenedto mystory,hejustmuttered,"Loveisregret".Afterthat,hestartedtotalkabouthimselfinasoft voice. SantaClaushasnofriendsorfamilyandcutsaforlornfigure.ThisiswhySantaClaushas neverreceivedChristmaspresentsfromanyone.Instead,hejustkeepsgivingoutpresentsto otherpeopleChristmasafterChristmas,yearafteryear.Itseemsthathisdogstoohavebeen trainedtokeeponrunning,asiffollowingsomekindofpredeterminedrhythmicpattern.On reflection,Icanseethatitisthesamerhythmicpatternthatgovernsourlives,givingdreamsand hopestous,theneverendingsequentialpatternofGoodMorning,GoodNightandThankYou. Thisconstantpatternisalsomadeupofallthosetenderwordsfromawomantoamansuchas "youarewonderful",orfromamantoawomanlike"youaresobeautiful".Specialmoments

likethesekeepyougoingandhelpyouthroughyoureverydayexistence.Forsomeunknown reason,wejustkeeprepeatingthesamepattern.Yesterday,todayandtomorrow,dayafterday, wedothesamethingsoverandoveragain.ToborrowthewordsofWeber,weseemtobe obeyingtheauthorityoftheeternalyesterdayasif,forthesakeofourpeaceofmind,weprefer tostayonthewelltroddenpathoftraditionandcustomarypractice. "Hereyougo,"hesaid,handingovertomethemassivebookthathehadbeencarrying.And thenSantaClausspokehisfinalwordswithasmileofsatisfactionasifhehadjustfinished revealingsomeeternalsecrets.Helookedlikehehadjustachievedsomethingnoteasily understoodbyanyoneelse.Iopenedthethickbookwhichhadnothingwritteninitandthen,all ofasudden,millionsofchildren'snames,addressesandtheirhopesanddreamsfilledthe emptypageslikemagicink. Standingoutsidethehotelwasarednosedreindeerwithknifelikeicicleshangingdownfromhis nose.Ithadbeenwaitingpatientlyfortheannualbigexpedition.Therewerethousandsand thousandsofpresentstobedistributedbySantaridingonhissleigh.Asformyself,therewas alsoatightscheduleuntildawn. Withoutreallyknowingwhy,somehow,Ifeltrelievedforthefirsttimeinmylife,asifahugeload hadbeenliftedoffmyback.Slowly,Irosefromthesofaandlookedup.Thesnowhadstopped and,intheimmensedarknessofthenightsky,millionsofdreams,hopesandmiracleswere therewaitingforthechildrenofthisworld. DoyoubelieveinSantaClaus?Doyoubelieveinyourself?Thisshortessayisalittlepresent frommetoyouthisChristmas.ThankyouforreadingandMerryChristmas!!