YOGA ZOMBIES by Timothy Ozman

Whenonehearsthewordmeditation,itconjuresanimageofMaharishiYogatalking aboutfindingamantraandstrivingfornirvana....Thepurposeofsuchmeditationisto emptyoneself....[Satan]ishappytoinvadetheemptyvacuumofyoursoulandpossess it.ThatiswhypeopleserveSatanwithouteverknowingitordecidingto,butnoonecanbe achildofGodwithoutmakingadecisiontosurrendertohim.Bewareofsystemsof spiritualitywhichtellyoutoemptyyourself.Youwillendupfilledwithsomethingyou probablydonotwant. E.W.Jackson,TenCommandmentsToAnExtraordinaryLife

I say to Hell with Christianity, Rationalism, Buddhism, all the lumber of the centuries. I bring you a positive and primaeval fact, Magick by name; and with this I will build me a new Heaven and a new Earth. I want none of your faint approval or faint dispraise; I want blasphemy, murder, rape, revolution, anything bad. --- Aleister Crowley

Prologue

Satan'shoofstepskickedupaminorduststorm.Hisunderlings,allnineofthem,chitterednervously amongthemselves,castingfrightenedglancesattheirmaster.Satanwasangryagain. "SILENCEMONKEYS!Icannothearmyownthoughts!"Hisboomingvoicereverberatedthroughout theunderworldandcountlessmillionsofsoulsshudderedandthousandsofdemonsbecameincontinent. Whenangered,HisInfernalMajestycansplitintoamillionformsandrapeallofHell'sdemons simultaneouslyanditwillgoonforaneternity,butthenwhenit'sover,onlyfivesecondswillhave elapsed.Collectivepunishmentwasbadformoraleandthereforethedemonstendedtokeepone anotherinlineinordertoavoidthisuniquelycruelanddegradingdebacle.Farbettertohooftheline andkeeptheheatonthedamnedhumans. Thewingedgoatmonkeysinmatchingblacktrenchcoatscringedinunison.Satanwasknowntouseup personalassistantsatanalarmingrate.Itwasrumoredthatheatethosewhoincurredhiswrath.Worse, ithasbeenconfirmedthathehasapredilectionforeatingthosewhoservehimtoowell.Itwasa loseloseproposition.HavingservedtheDarkLordinlife(mostlyasgovernmentbureaucrats),his assistantsweresparedthetorturesexperiencedbythemajorityofHell'soccupants. Theirtransformationintowingeddemonicgoatmonkeysseemedasmallpricetopayfortheabilityto liveinHellasdemonswheretheyweregrantedarelativedegreeoffreedomascomparedtothelarger massesoftheunrepentant,forwhomthereisnorest,nopeace. Satanascendedhisthroneathronemadeofhumanbonesandlivingbodyparts.Therewerehands whichservedascupholders,handswhichrolledhiscigarettes,andbyreclining,hisbroadmuscular backwouldbemassagedbyadozenpairsofhandscarefullyselectedfromtheworld'sbestdeadand damnedmasseusesfromthroughouttheages.Therewerealsootherpartswhicharesoghastlyasto defyrationalexplanation.TheheadofHugoChavez,wassituatedontheseatofthethronewhereit convenientlyservedasatoilet,histongueeverpoisedtodeliverasanitaryrimjobfortheDarkOne.All ofthispalesincomparisontothelivingbodypartsonthebackofthethrone... TheDarkLordspoke: "HarryPotterhasfailedme.J.K.Rollinsfailedallofus!Hergreed,whichIadmire,hastrumpedher

artisticintegrity.Shesoldouttothemoneyedinterestswhostrayedfromtheoriginalconcept.Harry wassupposedtousethebroomtointroduceHogwartsintowell,it'stoolateforthatnow.Theywent withtheflyingaroundcliche.Butwhatkilleditformewasthehappyendingsandthesyrupymessages ofloveandfriendship.HarryPotterwasmeanttoengenderanewwaveofhardcoreSatanismand homosexuality."Satanvomitedaflameacrosstheroom,scorchingthefacescleanoffthetwowinged primatesclosesttothethrone. Satantelekineticallyliftedthecookedremainsofthedemonicthingscondemnedsoulsstillentrapped withintheburningbodieslevitatingthemclosetohisopenmouth.Hepausedandbarkedorderstohis otherassistants,"GO!BringmetheGreatBeast.Ihaveaplan."Theremainingsevenspreadtheir leatherywingsandexitedviathechimney,happytohavebeengivenanassignmentandperhapsa chancetomakethemselvesusefultotheirmaster.Anythingtoavoidbeinganotheroneofhismeals. ThereisnotellingwheretheymightenduponcedepositeddownthethroatofHugoChavezbutone thingisforsure:thereisnodeathinHell.

Chapter1

Melissacontortedheremaciatedbodyintotheshapeofaglutenfreepretzel.Shecouldhavebeena statuebutforthebarelydiscernibleriseandfallofherflatchest."I'magoddamnedlotus,"shethought, strainingtofinallyreachhergoal:Nirvana. YogiTimaddressedtheclassastheyfiledoutthefrontdoor.Melissaaloneremained,stubbornly refusingtostopclimbingthespiritualladdertohigherconsciousness,"Class,thisisn'tacontest.Thereis nocompetitiveindividualismhere.Egoistheenemy.Youmustdefeatyourselfinordertoreachhigher awareness,andliveasthathigherselfthroughyourlower,crude,fleshlybodies.Killyourego.Igotrid ofminewhenIwenttoIndiaandstudiedunderMahatmaYogiSwarmathaSwamiHatha.Nottobrag butI'vebeentoNirvanamanytimessince.You'llgethere,justbepatient." Whileshedeeplyresentedtheinsinuationthatshewastryingtooutdoanyone,Melissacouldn'tget angry.Thetruthwas,heregohadbeenbackedintoacorneranditwasn'trushingouttodefenditself. SheinhaleddeeplyandfloatedintotheblackvoidoftheCosmicMind.Therewasaflowerahead,a giantlotus.Itwasradiatingwhitelightandshewaspulledinexorablytowardsitlikedebris circumambulatingawhirlpool. Thiswasit!Nirvana.Shesatonthelotusandthelightinfusedherbeingwithpeace.Shewaswithout ego.Thelotusswallowedherupinitsbeing,andshewasthelotus."OHM"shesang.Forsixmonthsor moreshedwelledwithinperfectandsublimepeace. "Areyouthere?"YogiTimgentlyshookherbytheshoulders."Melissa,stoptryingsohard.Class over.Let'sgo." Sheopenedhereyes,smilingupathim."SurethingYogiTim.Imusthavelostmyselftherefora moment." Instantly,sheknewthatshehasmadeittoNirvanasuccessfullyandthatYogTimandtheotherswere onlypretenders.ThiswasanEarthshakinglyprofoundrevelation.Hadsheroboticallygotupandleft whenclasswasover,shewouldnothaveexperiencedthefirstofwhatwouldsurelybethefirstofmany tripstothepeak.

Chapter2 Thesinisterbaldmansatcrossleggedatoptheobsidiantower.Theskyabovewasblackerthanpitch, ableakstarlessvoid.Thetowerdisappearedintothesmogseveralhundredstoriesbelow.Theground wasobscuredbutforapatchofredlight.Ahotwindrosestraightup,fillinghisnostrilswiththeodorof sulfur.Aflurryofashattendedthewind,whiteflakesmovingupwardsinadry,invertedblizzard. Hesmiledandbreatheditindeep.Forsixtysixyearsheoccupiedthispostandeveryyearthesmellof burningsoulsbecamesweeter.Heexhaledathickplumeofwhitesmokewhichformedintoatormented reflectionofanamelesssinner.Hislaughterdissipatedthesadshadeanditdisappearedintothe darknessabove. "OHM!"heresumedthechantingwhichhadbroughthimtohispresentstateofarcaneperfection, harmonizinghisbeingwiththeebbandflowoftheUniverse,transcendingsin,grace,life,death,and enteringintotheoblivionwhichwashiseternalrewardforalifelivedinservicetoHisInfernalMajesty. Hiseyesclosedandhelookedinward.Alargeglowingorbopeneduponhisforehead,asingle serpentineeye."OHM!"hischantintensifiedasdidthewindcarryingthehowlsofthedisembodied soulsbelow,sweetmusictohisears. Anobnoxiouschitteringshatteredthesanctityofhistrance,closinghisthirdeye.Aflockofwinged goatmonkeyscircledthetowerandmadetheirwaytohisloftyperch.Thiscouldonlymeanonething. Theleaderfluttereddirectlyinfrontofthesinisterbaldman,handinghimatightlyrolledstripofhuman fleshtiedwithabloodyrosary.Inblood,themessageread:

"MISTERCROWLEY,SATANCALLS."

AleisterCrowleyandthewingedgoatmonkeysdescendedfromtheobsidiantower.Heembracedthe hotwindandsurrenderedtothefall.Unlikehisescort,hehadnoneedofwings.Hiseternalrewardfor hislifetimeservicetoevilwasaneternityinHell,notasatormentedsinnerbutasoneoftheFallen Angels.Itwasoftenspeculatedbothpriortoandafterhiscorporealexistencethathewasinfactafallen angel,aSonofSatanincarnate.Nothingelsecouldexplaintheroyaltreatmenthereceivedwhileother heinouspersonageswereconfinedandtorturedlikeeverydaysinners.

ThelasttimeSatancalledhimwasduringthenineteensixties.AleisterCrowleywasthedemonic intelligencepossessingthemindsofTimothyLeary,AlfredKinsey,BillAyers,theBeatles,andthehippy zeitgeistingeneral.NearlyhalfacenturyhaselapsedsincethoseearlydaysofSatan'sNewAge,and alreadytheworldwasunrecognizabletotheBlackMagician.Hisownpersonallifestylewhichhadhim expelledfromItalywasnowthemainstreamAmericanculture.Homosexualsraisingchildren,mass marketingofpornography,blasphemousentertainment,andthewidespreaduseofdrugsthe twentyfirstcenturywasahedonist'sparadisebyhisstandards. Whatmorecouldthedevilwant?Thishadtobebig. Brightlightsrippedtheskyopenandtorrentsoftinybodypartsandbloodraineddownonan unimaginablescale,soakingthehumanembodimentofevilandhissimianentourage.Helickedhislips, tastingthebloodfromtheabortedbabies,theirdamnedsoulsforevercaughtupinHell'smacabre weatherphenomena.Vast,pinkcloudscomprisedofnothingbuttheabortedsoulsofsacrificedbabies lostinaviciouscycle,condemnedeternallybythethoughtlessactionsoftheirbrainwashed,murderous mothers. Inhisearlydays,duringoneofhismoreegregiousdrugandsexbinges,hehadchanneledSatanand authoredabookbaseduponthedemonicinspiration.ItwascalledLiber418,TheBookoftheLaw.In it,heprophesiedthreeworldencompassingbloodbaths.Thefirsttwowereintheformofworldwars. Thethirdwasyetunknown.Perhapsthisthirdbloodbathwasslatedtooccurandsomedemonic interventionwasagaincalledupon.Thisseemedthemostlikelyexplanation. Likelighting,AleisterCrowleyfellfromthesky,closerstilltotheglowingredlightatthebottomofthe impossiblytallobsidiantower.Thelightpulsedlikeaheartanditwasthesourceoftheheatwhich warmedhisskin,aheatwhichonEarthwouldbesufficienttomeltahundredandtenstoryskyscraper ortwo.Tohim,itwasbutamildandwarmcaress. "Athirdbloodbath...,"hemused,"athirdbloodbathtocovertheplanetwouldmeanthatSatan'sruleis nearlyathand.Histotalfullspectrumdominance,everyman,woman,andchildunderhisthumb.The ExternalizationoftheHierarchyisathand!"Hegrewmoreexcitedthefurtherhefell. Thebloodhelickedfromhislipstastedlikevictory.Hewasfallingfasternowandtheblazinghotpitof moltenlavabelowwasseenforwhatitwas:theLakeofFire.Fasterhefellasthegravityincreased,the suctionliterallypullingathisflesh.Newlydamnedsinnersareskinnedandgrilledbytheintensityofthat firstplungeintothelakethefirstofmanytheytakethroughouttheireternalpunishment.Deathis

invokedmoreoftenthanGodhere,asthetorturedfoolswantnothingmoreoflifeandthepainwhich attendsit.AleisterneverunderstoodwhysomanypeoplechoosetofollowaGodwhowouldsend themhereasprisonersratherthantheonewhocouldgrantimmortalityandgodhood. DownintotheLakeofFirehedropped,sinkingintooblivionandthewingedgoatmonkeyswerenot farbehind.

Chapter3

Forthethirdnightinarow,Melissaawokeafterlessthanthreehoursofsleep.Irritable,shesatupright andstaredoutthewindow.Hereyeswerefocusedonsomethingbeyondtheviewitoffered.Insteadof innerpeace,theprogressshemadeinhermeditationsledhertochronicagitation.Thesensethatshe wasontheprecipiceofagreatspiritualtransformationwasalwaysthere,beckoningher,andthisdrove hertomeditatelonger,totrymorepositions,andtostudyharderabouttheesotericaspectsofYoga. Shewasgettingeager. Evenasshebecameincreasinglyobsessedwithascendingtheladdertohigherconsciousness,the distractionsattendantwitheverydaymundaneactivitiesandpeoplewasbecomingaseriousobstacleto herpractices.Peopletoldhertomoderateherbehavior,nottogettoofocusedontheYoga.She greatlyresentedthefeelingthisgaveher:thatpeoplewereliterallycaginghersoulin.Shestartedtoview everyoneinherlife,especiallyherfriendsandfamily,asprisonwardens. Therewouldbenosleepthatnight.Itwasalwaysworseatnightbecauseherdesiretoenterintothe Yogictrancewaspoisonedbyaparalleldesiretodocarnalthings,thingswhichcontradictedthe purposeofYogaassheunderstoodit.Nightafternightshestruggledwithiteachnightmoresleep deprivedthanthelast,andwiththelackofrestcametherapidweakeningofherselfrestraint.She openedthewindowandclimbedout,notbotheringtoassesstheappropriatenessofherclothing,or lackthereof:shewaswearingaredsilknightgown.Nothingelse. Nodestinationinmindandnomindtocontemplateadestinationwith,shedriftedaimlesslyoverthe sidewalks.Thoughshewasbarefoot,thecoldconcretefeltlikesoftcarpeting.Therewasanodd, dreamlikequalitytoherstateofmind.Shewascalmanddetachedandutterlyalonewanderingthrough neighborhoodsshecouldnothaverecognizedhadshethepresenceofmindtotry. Earlierthatnight,justbeforegoingtobed,shewaspracticingtheDownwardFacingDogposewhen shefeltsomethinglikeelectricityspiralingaroundthebaseofherspine.Itintensifiedwitheachbreath andallatonceitshotupherspinelikeasnakestrikingitsprey.Itenvenomatedherskullwithitselectric fireandwhispereditsnamenotintoherearsbutechoingupfromhersubconsciousmind:"Shakti." Somethingwashappening.WhetheritwasapsychosisorifitwascausedbyherdiligentYogic practices,itmadenodifferencetoher.Shesurrenderedtoit.Somethingwasguidingherandshegave

intoitcompletely.Perhapsthesleepdeprivationhadinhibitedherbetterjudgement,culminatinginthis nighttimewanderinghalfnakedthroughneighborhoodsbestleftaloneeveninbroaddaylight.Intheend, itdidn'tmatter.MelissawasreadytomergewiththeUniverse,andifthismeantsurrenderingherfree willtotheextentnecessaryforhertobeintegratedintoagreatercosmicplan,thensobeit. Resistancewasprobablyfutileanyway.HerawarenessofrealitywastenuousatbestevenbeforeYoga. Likemanycollegestudents,shesubscribedtothephilosophicalidealisminculcatedbytheliberal cryptocommunistsembeddedthroughouttheacademia.Combinedwiththealteredstatesof consciousnessattainedbydrugs,meditation,videogames,asceticism,fasting,orprayer,theresultisthe same:amindaspliableaYogamaster'sbody. Herinnerguideledherintotheparkinglotofasmallapartmentcomplex.Shewentstraighttodoor numbertwentythreeandknocked.Itwasclearthattheguidewasinchargehere.Melissadidnotresist itscommands.Theyactedasonebeingbecauseshetrusteditimplicitly.Shewaswalkinginfaithand knewitwouldtakeherwhereshewassupposedtobe. "It'sthreeo'clockinthemorningMelissa.Whatareyoudoinghere?"ItwasYogiTim,squintingfrom behindhisglasses.Hepeekedthroughthepartiallyopendoorevidentlynotcomfortableenoughwith herunexpectedvisittoactuallyremovethedoorchain."AndhowdidyouknowIlivedhere?Whatis this?"Hersilknightgownslippedoffherbodyseeminglyofitsownaccord. MelissawasyoungenoughtobeYogiTim'sdaughterandheknewthis.Besides,shewaswayoutof hisleagueevenifhewasinclinedtogetintoarelationshipwithastudent.Evenstill,allthoserulesand codesofconductmeltedawayinthespaceofasingleheartbeat,whichispreciselytheamountoftimeit tookhimtounchainthedoor. Theirlovemakingwasdispassionateandmechanical.Shefeltlikeoneofthosecoinoperated animatronichorsesfoundinfrontofgrocerystores.Therewasnothingremotelysexualaboutitfrom herperspective.SureshewasdoingtheDownwardFacingDog,andhercreepyoldYogiwasgetting DownDoggyStyle,butshewassomewhereelseentirely. Atfirstshewashavingvisions.Astheelectricsurgeswerereleasedupherspine,shesawanother world,aplacewithredstormyskies.Thenthevisionsbecamepalpableinthesensethatshewas detachedfromherbodyandmorefullyexperiencingtheplaceshermindwasrevealingtoher. Somehow,sexwasthekeytounlockingthetruemeaningoftheYogicpostures.Allthatnighthe fornicatedonher,sometimesasalotus,othertimesasahalffrogoracrane.Ineachposture,adifferent

chakrawasopeneduptoherandeachchakrahaditsownvisionsandmysteriestoreveal.Mostof themwerenonsensicaloruntranslatableintowords,othersseemedtosignifylifeoutsideofthebody andhowitisexperienced. Othervisionsweremoreconcrete.Shesawriversofblood,pitsfullofnakeddeadbodies,armiesof cannibalistickillers,andmostdisturbingofallwasthatofasinisterbaldmanwhohadagiantserpentine eyeinthemiddleofhisforehead.

Chapter4

"MisterCrowley,rise!"thePrinceofDarknessorderedthesinisterbaldmantohisfeet. Goddoesnothaveamonopolyoninsecurity.JustasheconsignedhisfavoriteangelintoHellforbeing uppityandthreateninghispositionassupremeruler,sotoisSatanresentfulofanydemonsorevilangels thatbecometoocomfortableinhisownpresence.AleisterCrowleywasdeeplyreverentoftheEvil OneinlifeandsoinHell,heknewtohitthegroundkneeling.Hisrespectfulattitudeearnedhimrespect inturn.Herosetohisfeetandlistenedasthedevildivulgedthenextphaseinthemasterplan. "Theseedsyouplantedhavebornetheirevilfruit.YogaismainstreaminAmericaandcombinedwith therampantdruguse,illegalandlegal,themindsofthemassesareripefortheplucking.Informed consenthasalwaysbeenhumanity'sfirewallagainstmassdemonicpossession.Merelyparticipatingin thesickcultureoftodayistantamounttoasignatureinblood.Soulsarecheapthesedaysandsince they'reallHellboundanyway,whynotjustreel'emin?YokethemwithYoga."Thedevilraiseda pointedeyebrow. SoYogaitselfwasthesecretweaponformassdemonicinfiltration?Impressive,thoughtthesinister blackmagician."Satan,ifYogawillbethemeansbywhichtheirsoulscanbedraggedintoHell,amIto teachYogalessonsfromthegrave?"Aleisterwasn'tsurewhatthebigpictureswas.TheEvilOnewas craftyandnotevenTheWickedestManintheWorldwascapableofgraspingthesubtletiesofthat diabolicalintellect. "Evenbetter.Iwantyoutotaketwentytwoofmymostpowerfuldemonsandleadthempersonallyto thesurface.EveryYogaclassmustbeaccessedandthosewhoareclosetoNirvanamustbeturnedto ourcause,whichwillcomeaboutoncetheEarthhasbeenbathedinbloodathirdtime."Satanreached outaclenchedfisttothewickedmagicianwhorespondedwithhisownfist.Theirknucklesbumped. ("Fistbumping"isactuallyanancientBabylonianMysterySchoolsecrethandshake.Itsuseamongthe predamnedbecamewidespreadforthesamereasonsasthe"devilhorns"handgestureallpartof Satan'ssystematicprocessofacclimatingthepublicforhisimminentarrivalinthepersonageofthe Antichrist.) "HailSatan,"AleisterCrowleypraisedtheChiefRebelAngel,andfollowedhimintotheWarRoom

wheretheyjoinedthesevenwingedgoatmonkeysgatheredaboutaroundtable. Satanspreadoutamap:ALBUQUERQUE.Itwasatypicalsmalltownyetitsrelativeisolationmadeit perfectforexperimentsinmassdemonicpossession.Severalareashadbeencircledwithasharpie marker.Thesecircleswerelabelled"yogaschool"andnumberedfromonetothirteen. "Thethingyouneedtounderstandaboutdemonicpossession,MisterCrowley,isthatitmoveslikea plague.Wedon'twanttokeepitconcentratedtotoonarrowanarea,lesttheservantsofGodroundup thecarriersandsetupaquarantine."Satanhadonhissquarereadingglassesandheldaworncopyof TheArtofWarinhisclawedhands."Youaretobegintonight." Aleisterwasthrilledbythepotentialforchaos.Thecarnagewhichwouldensuewouldbenothingless thanthefulfilmentofthedreamshehadduringhisreignasTheGreatBeast.Thiswouldbethe culminationofhisdestiny.HisOcculticbeliefsandpracticesinlifepreparedhimtocontinuedoingevilin theafterlifeandthiswaswhathehadbeenpreparingfor."Master,Iamatyourservice.Iamreadyto advanceyournefariousagenda,tocontinuetheGreatWorkbegunsolongago." Satanopenedaportalabovethem.TheblackvortexwasapassagewaytotheAstralPlane,theplace wheredemonscaninteractwiththecollectiveunconsciousofhumanity.FromHell'sperspective,itwas aplacefordemonstoroaminsearchofvictims,specificallyforweakmindedhumanswhocouldbe devouredfromwithin.Itwasabackdoortothedreamingmind,totheinebriatedmind,andtothe emotionallyunbalancedmind.. "Gonow,Legionawaits."

*********************************************** .........Meanwhile,behindthefaadeofaninnocentlookingYogastudio,aclassroomfullofhumansized lotusflowersmoanedinunison."Ohm.Ohm."Melissawaspleased.Theyweresosynchronized!The thinones,thefatones,thenewbies,andtheveteranmeditatorswereallsoamazinglyintunewithone anotherthatitwasasthougheachindividualwasmerelypartofalargerorganism.YogiTimwastoo exhaustedfromtheirpreviousnight'ssessiontoleavethebedroomsoshevolunteeredtocoverforhim. Shecouldnotgettheimageofthesinisterbaldmanoutofhermind.Everytimeshemeditated,his visagebecameclearer.ShehadnotsharedthevisionwithYogiTimoranyoneelse.Shewas determinedtofindoutwhatitportended,evenifitmeantgoingbeyondthelevelsofhigher

consciousnessthatherpeerscouldreach.Shegotthefeelingthatshewaschosenforsomethingby spiritualforcesshecouldnotunderstandanddespitehertrepidation,shewascompelledtofindoutwho orwhatwascallingheronward. Tonighttheclasswassofocusedthatitkeptgoinglongafterthescheduledtimeslot.Theywereintheir thirdhourandtogetherandwerebreakingnewground.Onebyone,thetwentytwostudentsfollowed MelissatoNirvana.Therewasnotraceofegointheroom.Theatmospherewaselectric.Shefeltlike shewaslevitating.

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SeateduponablackcloudintheAstralPlane,AleisterCrowleyandtwentytwoofthefoulestdemons fromthePitsharedadrumcircle.Thesehideousbeingswerehumanoid,cunning,andcruel.Thosewere theonlytraitstheysharedwithhumans.Everythingelsewasablasphemyagainstmanandreasonand beautyandlove. Thedrummerinpossessionofthebongowouldbethelastthetrancehadgoneonlongenough. "Silence!Igrowwearyofyourfoulodors.Icancountthisgroupbyscentalone,suchistheuniquely disgustingnatureofeverysingleoneofyou."Theyrespondedenmassewithgrunts,snorts,belches,and voluminousflatulence."Itistime!" TheblackcloudascendedhigherintotheAstralPlane,carryingthemtotheplacewhereitwouldbe possibletoseparatefromtheirbodiesandseekentryintotheworldoftheliving.Nowitwastimeto assumetheLotuspostureandpreparetoascendlikebatsoutofHell. "Ohm!Ohm!"Heledthechant.Hisspinetingledandhisbrainwasonfire.Thiswasgoingtobeasolid connection!Hecontinued,"OHM!OHM!"Thedemonsfollowedsuit.Theychantedinunisonbefore AleisterCrowley'spiercingshrieksimultaneouslyshooktheirdamnedsoulslooseoftheirdamned bodiesandlikeaflockofmessengerpigeonsreleasedtotheheavens,theevilmanandhisdemonicmob ascendedintotheHigherRealms,thosesweet,juicy,deliciousrealmsoffleshandblood,sexanddeath.

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"OHM!!"Melissaforcefullyassertedcontrolofthechanting,takingtheintensityupanotch.Shebelted itoutagain,thistimeasayell,"OHM,OHM!BOOMSHAKALAKABOOM!"Thensheinhaled loudlyandexhaledbyshriekinglikeabanshee.Hereyesopenedwide,butinsteadofhercrystalclear blueeyestherewasapairofghastly,pitchblackportalsintoHell. Hereyessuckedinthelightandtheroomwentdim.Herdeliriousscreamingchilledeveryspine.Clean airenteredhernostrilsandreturnedoutofhermouthasastinkinggaseouscloudattendedbyswarmsof flies.Thelightsflickeredonandoff,thenonagainbeforetheroomfinallywentblack.Pitchblack. Theterrifiedlotuseswererootedinplace,unabletomovetheirbodies,noteventocoughoutthe noxiousgastheyunwittinglyinhaled.Unabletomovetheirheadsnortoclosetheirmouths,theywere powerlessasthefliesenteredtheirnoses,climbedintotheirears,andburrowedunderneaththeir garmentswheretheyrapidlystuffedthemselvesintoeveryorifice.Theterrified,petrifiedclassdidthe onlythingtheycoulddoandperhapstheonlythingitmakessensetodoinsuchasituation: Theyscreamed.

Chapter5

"YouknowwhatIthinkofthesceneinAlbuquerqueonaThursdaynight,Paul?It'sasausageparty likethesixothernightsaweek.Whatdidyouexpect?"Dwaynewasagitatedagain.Sadly,hewas correctaboutthegenderdisparity. "Dude.Chill.Thelateritgetsthebetteryourchances.Givetheladiestimetoputontheirbeergoggles andyou'llgetyours."Paulwasonlyhalfkidding.Dwaynewascertainlythelessattractiveofthetwo. TheybothknewthatthewomendowntownweremostlyalcoholicsifnotOxycodoneaddicts,andthat thelateritgotthemoredesperatetheirquarrywouldbe.Nobodylikesrejection,especiallynot drugaddledfloozieswhoseselfesteemrestsupontheirperceiveddesirability. PaulandDwayneenteredTheFrontier,asoupkitchenadjacenttotheUniversitywhichdoubledasa popularyouthhangout.Thefoodwasstandardcafeteriafarebutslatheredinchile.Asidefrombeinga hangoutofderelicts,vagrants,bums,collegeprofessors,andstudents,TheFrontierwasalsotheclosest placetothebarswherethedrunkscouldsoberupandmakeonelastditcheffortatfindingsomeoneto swapSTD'swith.Failingatthat,therewasalwaystheamusingspectacleofafightortwobydrink fuelledmachomenassertingthemselves.Thesebarbaricactsofritualcombatwereostensiblyfoughtfor thebenefitoftheladies,thetheorybeingthattothevictorbreedingriteswouldbesecured,butforthe lucklessandthejaded,theyprovidedentertainment,ifnotYoutubegold. Betweenpickingatthestalefriesandnibblingtherubberysweetrolls,thetwometrosexualssurveyed thescene."Hoeseverywhere."Dwaynewasdroolingoveroneparticularlyleggyspecimen. "Yeahbutthey'veallgotpimps."Paulsaiddejectedly.Thedrunkenslutswerealltakenbyequally drunkmalesluts."But...wait...whathavewegothere?"Hisattentionwenttosomeactivityoutsidethe restaurant. AcontingentofbarefootmenandwomenintightfittingclothingwerefilingoutoftheYogastudiodown thestreetandweremakingtheirwaytoTheFrontier.Howodd.Itwasnearlythreeinthe morningnottomentionachillyOctobereveningandthesenewarrivalswereclearlyunder dressed.Dwayne'sinterestwaspiqued."Dude,Iseeaonetothreefemaletomaleratiothereifyou're intothosebonyhippychicks."

PaulwasalreadyonhiswaytoopenthedoorfortheYogachicks."Dwayne,nevermakefunof vegetarians,"hesaidwithagrin."There'snothingfunnyaboutstarvation."

Chapter6

TwentythreeYogapractitionersenteredTheFrontier.Theinstructorhadtakenthelead.Theclass mainlyconsistedofwomenandafewgeldedmales.Therestwereofindeterminategender.Paulhiton theinstructorfirst.Shewasthethefittest."Wow,youmustworkout."Hebeganwithhisstandard icebreaker. Herreactionwasunexpectedlywelcoming.Shesmiledandextendedherhand."IamYogiMelissa." "HiMelissa,I'mPaul.It'snicetomeetyou."Heslappedatapersistentflywhichkeptlandingonhis face. Dwayneintroducedhimselftoaslightlychubbybrunette.HeglancedatPaulandwinked.Thetwo metrosexualsweresurroundedbybeautifulandunusuallycongenialwomen. Thelightsflickeredandthenitwentdark.Moansofdisappointmentresoundedthroughoutthe restaurant.YogiMelissa'ssmoothhandslithereddownthefrontofPaul'spants,neatlycuppinghis testiclesandhermouthbegancaressinghisneck."Ohdamn,"hewhispered.Hishandfollowedherarm toherchest.Shepulledhershirtupandheclumsilygropedherperfectbreasts.Hewentwiththeflow. Timeslowedtoacrawl,asinadream.Eventheairitselfseemed....thick. Thelightsremainedoffandthetwopressedintoeachotherevenharder.Secondslaterherhandswent aroundhiswaist,unfasteninghisjeansandshankingthemdowntohisknees.Nowhepausedthere waseasilyalinebeingcrossedhere,legallyspeaking.Herhandswerefirmlyengagedinmassaginghis erection. TheentireYogacliquehadfilledtheroomandeachhadconjoinedwithapartner.EvenDwayne.Some dinershadmultiplepartners.Withinseconds,peoplewereopenlyhavingsexonthetabletops.Paul's entireshaftdisappearedinbetweenMalissa'sperfectlips.Hewasn'taccustomedtoorevenopentothe ideaofpublicsex,butgiventhecircumstancesandtheexquisitemannerinwhichshesuckled,itwasa goodtradeoff.Thiswasunreal.Perhapsthenewcomerswerealldrunkandthiswassomesortof randomsexualflashmob,hewondered.

"IwantyouPaul!"ShethrewherselfbackonthefloorandusedherlegstopullPauldown.Howshe knewhisnamedidn'tthinktospeculate.Ithadbeenmonthssincehehadreachedthislevelofintimacy withanyoneotherthanhimself,thoughhewouldoftenclaimhewasmoreactivethanthat.Hehadallbut forgottenhowgoodunprotectedsexfeels,howhotitisinsideandthemagicofthatwet,slippery.... PainshotthroughPaul'sbody,hiseyesbulgedbutsawnothinginthatunnaturaldarknessandhisscream waschokedbackbythebloodgurglinginhisthroatasMelissa'sincisorsseveredhiscarotidartery. Dwaynetoogotlaid,butlikePaul,hewasbleddrybeforehecouldbragaboutit.Therestofthediners attheFrontiermetsimilarends,dyinginthedark,thefleshtornfromtheirnecks,murderedinunison,a naked,writhing,screamingbloodymassanorgyofdeathunderthecoverofapreternaturaldarkness. ThecityofAlbuquerquewasbesetwithpoweroutagesandforthenextthreehours,evilwouldrulethe streets.

Chapter7

Satanwaspleased.Verypleased.Hisdemoniclegionsdidtheirworkperfectly.Somanysoulstosteal andastheNewAgeprogressed,theEvilOnemarvelledathowmalleablethosesoulshavebecome. Easypickings:liberals,idealists,andmysticswerepuredemonbaitandneverbeforehadsomanyof themproliferatedtosuchanextent. ThedeathtollwasonlyaminutefractionofwhatheexpectedbutthenightwasyoungandAleister Crowleywasabrilliantstrategist.Everytornandbloodiedvictimsentathrilluphisleg.Thiswasgoing tobegoodinamannerofspeaking.Shouldthesetwentythreedemonsspillenoughbloodbefore sunrise,thebreachitwouldopenwouldbeirrevocable.HellwouldbegrantedfullaccesstoEarthand itsinhabitants. "Iwantblasphemy,murder,rape,revolution,anything,bad!"heshoutedtriumphantly."Howdoyou murderandenslave95%oftheworld'spopulation?Theanswertothisageoldconundrumissimple: youtakeovertheirmindsandmakethemkilloneanother!" Helaughedoutloud.HelaughedatGod,theBuddha,theOprah,andhehadanespeciallyawesome bellylaughashecontemplatedthegullibilityofman.

*********************************************************** YogiTimsatup.Hehadsleptawaythedayandthesunhadlongsinceset.Hereacheduptoslidethe windowshut."Wow,"hethought,"thatreallyhappened."Hismindreeledattheramificationsoflast night'sencounterwithYogiMelissa. Hecouldlosehiscredibility,hisstudents,andhislivelihoodifanyoneweretofindoutaboutit.Inhis defence,shecametohishouseuninvitednolessbutastheolderofthetwo,heshouldhaveputa stoptoitbeforeitwentthatfar.Siftingthroughhismobilephonealerts,hewassurprisedthatshefailed tonotifyhimthattonight'sclasswasover.Thiswasherfirsttimesubstitutingforhimsohewasrather certainthatshewouldhavecontactedhimtolethimknowhowclasswent....

Sensingthatsomethingwasamiss,hegotdressedwhich,asahippyYogainstructor,meantonlythathe slippedonhisBirkenstocksandturnedyesterday'stshirtinsideout.Theareasbelowthesleeveswere yellowedandstiff,notunlikehiscrumblingtoenails.Hisasceticlifestylesparedhimtheinconvenienceof shaving,bathing,andinspectinghisreflection(mirrorsonlyheightenselfconsciousnesssoheavoided themlikesoap). Hehoppedontohiscarbonneutraltwowheeledtransportdeviceandarrivedathisdestinationfifteen minuteslater.Hewasshockedtofindthestudiowasunlocked.Therewasn'tmuchtostealbutaswith anybusinesslocatedonCentral,thereweresquatters,hookers,junkies,andmentalpatientstobe concernedabout. Hepeeredintothedarkness.Theplacewasabuzzwithinsectlife.Flieswereswarmingabouthishead. "BuddhaDamn!"Heswattedthemback.Bythelightofthestreetlampsshiningthroughthefront windows,itwasevidentthattheroomwasinfestedwithflies.Proppingthedooropenwithastone,he enteredthedarkstudioandreachedforthelightswitch. Hepresumedthatahomelesspersonhadperhapsvomitedinsideandbroughthisownflieswithhim. TheroomlitupandYogiTim'sjawdropped.Anapparition,apparentlycomprisedofswarmingflies, levitatedinthemiddleoftheroom.Itwasundoubtedlyabaldman,likeanevilBuddha,withno physicalformsavethatwhichthefliesgavetoitlikeanentomologicalholograph. Beforethewizenedhippycouldscream,ablackcolumnoftheaccursedinsectslaunchedintohismouth anddownhisthroat.Hewentepileptic,hismindgivenovertoterror,hisbodyanimatedbysheer panic.Outthedoorandintothestreet,chokingonathousanddomesticfliescrawlingwithinhimevenas theychokedthelifeoutofhim,hestaggeredintooncomingtraffic.Hewasonlydimlyawareofthe honkinghornsandbrightlights.Thetraumaticallypainfulimpactwhichfollowedwasawelcomerelief fromhiswakinghorrorandheembracedthenothingnessitoffered.

********************************************************** Denny'sonCentral("theghettoDenny's")recentlyremovedthemetalspoonsfromthetablesbecause thelocaljunkypopulationwhichconstitutestwentypercentofitsclientlewerestealingthemfaster thantheycouldbereplaced.Sinceitmakeslittlesensetomixplasticwarewithsilverware,theywent totallyplastic.

Denny'sonCentralisclosesttothebarsandsothedrunkengangsters,thugs,prostitutes,andhipsters congregatetherewhenTheFrontierisfull,orwhenliketonight,it'spowerisoff. WhereasTheFrontierhostsaneclecticmixofdrunksfromallsocioeconomicbackgrounds,Denny's onlyservespayingcustomers.Thisresultsincertaindisparities,forinstance,theretendedtobetentimes asmanymetrosexualsashippysonanygivennight.Allmannersofcliquescouldbeguaranteedgood receptionatDenny'ssolongastheywerepayingcustomers.Itwaseasyforvariousgroupsto commandeerentiresectionsoftherestaurantonthenightsthatmattered.Thus,Thursdaysbecame "GothNight,"andthelocalGothicpopulationprettymuchownedalloftheboothsandtablesalongthe easternwall. TonightwasThursdayandtheGothswereinfullattendance.Theymilledaboutintheirblackcostumes withtheirpancakemakeup,theirfacesmarredwiththickblackcrayonlinesemphasizingpoutylipsand sadeyes.Theymoroselymunchedontheirgreasycheeseburgerbacondeluxesandstruggledinunison againsttheburdenofexistence.TheyoungerGothswerelithe,pale,andworeshinyvinyl.Theolder oneswerefatandhadfarmer'stansandtheirvinyllookedasthoughithadallbeenpeeledfromthe sameusedfakeleathercouch. RavenKimwasthequeenbee.Shehadseniorityandthechoicecornerbooth.Whatshesaidwent. Noonewasadmittedintothetribewithoutherendorsement.AthersidesatthefearedGothopotamus, abeingofmixedgenderandlargeproportions.Moreaccurately,itwasleashedtoherside.The Gothopotamuswasbothherbodyguardandherdriver.TheHearseshearrivedinwasparkedinthe spaceimmediatelybehindherboothwhereitwasclearlyobservable.Itwashermostprizedfashion accessory. TheonlyotherGothofnotewasthelocaldeejaywhowentbythesinistermoniker:DJ SelfDestructinatorasoft,pudgycreature,likeapastyandelongatedPillsburyDoughboyina Frankenstein'sMonsteroutfit.Allinall,itwasatypicalThursdaynightofeating,strutting,staring, judging,andsneering.AlltheGothswouldmaketheirroundstoRavenKimandDJ SelfDestructinator,suckinguptoeachinturnlikesomanyblindpuppiesclamouringforanipple,eager forthemilkofsocialapproval. Notthatanyofitmattered.Alltheirsocializing,alltheirshallowcompetitionforegodominance,andall theirunearnedsenseofelitismamountedtolittlemorethanrottingmeatintheend.Forjustasthebar crowdfloodedintotherestofthetables,theotherwiseidyllicnightbecameahideousnightmare.It startedwithlaughter.

DJSelfDestructinatorhadjusttakenasipofhiscreamy,oversugaredcoffeewhenthezombiescame throughthedoor."Ohlame.Lamelamelame.ZombieFlashMobsareso2012.Thisisgoingtobe stupid."TherestoftheGothicCommunityfollowedsuit,condemningthemobofYogastudents coveredinfakeblood,chewingonfakeintestines,staringaboutthemwithfakeglowingredeyes.The Gothsallpointedandlaughedoutloud. TheGothqueenRavenKimwasperturbed.Bloodanddeathwastheirmilieuwhyhadn'tanyofthem thoughtofitfirst?Andwhoweretheseattentionseekinginterlopers?Shestoodatnearlysevenfeettall inherplatformboots.Sheraisedhervoicetoalevelcommensuratewithherstature:"EXCUSEME! ThisisGothicNightatDenny's.HippyDippyTrendyYogaheadsgotoTheFrontierorstaythefuck home!"Gothsareveryterritorial.Shewasevenmorebotheredbyhowmuchmorerealistictheirfake contactlenseswerethanthestandardissueGothicLenses(whitewithredorblackpupils). Theleaderofthemobwasapetiteblondewomanwithblooddrippingdownherchin.Shemade eyecontactwiththeGothQueen.Itwasanintertribalstandoff.Thelaughtersubsided.Thingswere gettingserious.ThetwentytwootherYogaZombiespositionedthemselvesaroundtheperimeterofthe restaurant,formingacirclearoundthepatrons.Dinerslookedaboutandshrugged.Theroomsmelled likefreshlyquarteredbovine,asthoughthenewcomershadjustcomefromaslaughterhouse. TheleadYogaZombielunged,openmouthedlikeashark,rightatRavenKim,herhandsoutstretched asinabadzombiefilm.RavenKimwastednotime.Shetuggedtheleashatherside."Releasethe Gothopotamus!"Themorbidlyobesebodyguardwassurprisinglyagileanditsteppedbetweenthetwo women.TheblondeYogaZombieeasilynavigatedtherotundbodyandasnimbleasacatclimbinga tree,shescaledtheGothopotamus'scorpulenceandclampedherteethfirmlyuponagenerouschunkof cheekbeforetearingitloose,sendingastreamerofbloodacrossthebugeyedfacesaroundthem. NosoonerhadtheGothopotamusscreamed(definitelyaman'sscream)thantwentyorsoother screamssimilarlyechoedfromthroughouttherestaurant.Sotoowerethetwentyorsoscreams followedbytwentyorsogeysersofbloodjettingacrossplatesofbaconandeggs,andontofacesboth bemusedandaghast.TheYogaZombieinvasionhadbegunandalltracesofjocularityvanished. DJSelfDestructinatorrantothefireescape.Hemanagedtomakeittothedoorandpushedthe handle,triggeringthefirealarmbeforehismaddashforfreedomwasintercepted.Hewascaughtbythe neckanddraggeddownbytwoofthescantilycladYogaZombies."Noplease!"hewhimperedand shieldedhisfacefromthesnappingjawsandrendingclaws.Theprettierofthetwozombies,a middleagedAsianwoman,reachedintohispantsandpluckedhismanhoodoffhisbodyinasingle motionaseasilyasonemightpluckaweedfromanorganictomatogarden.Hishandsmovedbelatedly

toshieldhimselfleavinghiseyesexposedtowitnessthegruesomespectacleofhispenisbeinggnawed frombothendsbythetwodemonesses,likeadementedversionofthespaghettiscenefromLadyand theTramp. RavenKimbeattheblondeYogaZombieonthebackwithhersteelstuddedleatherpurse,evenasthe Gothopotamusgaveintofatigue.Havinglosthalfitsfaceandbothitsearsalongwithmuchofitsblood supply,herfearsomebodyguardcavedintotothesuperiorstrengthofthephysicallysmalleraggressor. RavenKimglancedaboutandsadly,noneoftheotherpatronswerehavinganysuccess.Theywere beingoverwhelmedbyunarmedassailantsatanalarmingrate.Dozenswounded,othersbeingmaimed, castrated,andcannibalized.Worse,somewereobviouslydead,facedowninpuddlesofblood,bile, andmaplesyrup. Usingachairasashield,shewedgedherselfoutthefireescape,steppingcarefullyoverthemutilated andevisceratedbutnotquitedeadbodyofDJSelfDestructinator,andrantotheHearse.Shepulled thekeysfromherpurseandopenedthedoor,riskingoneglancebackatthecarnage.Shewasnot beingfollowed.Sirenscouldjustbarelybeheardinthedistanceoverthescreams.Thewindowswere slatheredinbloodfromtheinsideandthefeedingfrenzyonlygotworsebythesecond.Aseveredarm reboundedagainsttheglasswitharesoundingthump.RavenKimtookthisasasignaltoGTFO.

Chapter8

ThehourwaslateyettheaisleswerefullatAlbuquerque'snotorious"ghettoWalmart,"situatedjust southofRoute66behindtheadultvideoarcadeandacrossthestreetfromacouplepaydayloan sharks,amethadoneclinic,andwithinwalkingdistanceoftheprojects.Thediabolicalcorporationset upmanysuchtwentyfourhour"supercenters"inordertokilloffthe"momandpop"shopswith greatsuccess.AstheVaticanruledtheDarkAgesofhistory,Walmartrulesthepresentdarknessandis poisedtoruleinthefascistdarkagestocomeunlessCapitalismisdefeated. TheworstthingaboutWalmartistheinsidiousmannerinwhichitinserts,injects,intrudes,and dominatesthemindsofitsvictims.Thepeoplewhoselltheirsoulsforcheapgoodsarethosewhohave nothingelsetolose:theworkingclass.TheybuyintothefalseCapitalistworldviewandactuallythink thatbyslavingawayandworking,theywillsomehowimprovetheirlives.Andsuretheymight,butat whatcost?Capitalismrequiresbloodandoil,slaveryandtoil,simplytooperate.Andeventually,the Earthitselfwillnotbeabletosustaintherapeandplunderofhernaturalresources. GiventheunholyandwickednatureofthatLeviathan,itshouldcomeasnosurprisetothereaderthatit shouldhavehavebeenselectedasGroundZeroforSatan'sDemonicInsurrection,orthatsince1992, whenWalmartfounderSamWaltondied,hisdescendantsneveractuallytookoverthecompanyin nameyes,butSatan,asperhiscontractwithSamWalton,tookpossessionofthatfortyninepercent stake..ThosewhoopposeWalmartonaccountofitscruelandinhumaneworkingconditionswouldnot besurprisedtolearnthatthecorporatistsintheupperechelonmanagementarenotonlysoulless,but willingcollaboratorswiththeForcesofDarkness. InthesportinggoodssectionagroupofangrywhiteChristianswereinspectingthevastarrayofhunting rifles."HeyBubba,youboutfinishedfillingoutthathuntinglicense?"thegreybeardedRedneckasked. "Wehavetogetoutbeforeshiftchangeorwe'llbestuckhereinlineallnight,dadgumit."Hewasirate andhisvoicequivered.HecontinuedtoperusetheAmericanflags. "Yes,Hoss,anddon'tforgetthegunrackferthetruckandsomemoreammunition,weneedlotsof ammobeforedehGovernmenttakeitallaway,theywill,Iknowit,IreaditondaInternets."Thefat redneckgrabbedanammocanofftheshelf.Hisshirthadthewords"911WASANINSIDEJOB"on thechestinbigcapitalletters.

Twoaislesdown,agroupofAfricanAmericanyouthwererummagingthroughthebasketballsand associatedclothingincludingbasketballshoes.Oneofthemlamentedtotheothers,"It'sallhonkeysand spicshere.Ifwewasthemajoritywe'dbemobbinandtakinwhatwewant,knowwhatIsaying?" Anotherretorted,"Thisain'tPhilly,wedon'trundistown." InbetweentheaisleofRednecksandtheaisleofAfricanAmericanyouthwastheautomotivesection. AbandofAsians,probablyKoreanorJapaneseorChinese,wereexaminingthevariouswingsand spoilersfortheirHondaCivics. Andinthewideraisleconnectingtheotherstheoneleadingtotheregisters,wasaWalmart employee,atransgenderedillegalimmigrantfromMexicopushingabufferacrossthetiledfloor.She noticedthatthehomophobicracistRedneckswereswattingatflieswhichwerecirclingaroundthe sportinggoodssection.Onwardpassedtheautomotivesection,shenotedthattheAsianstoo,were beingharassedbyaveritableswarmofhouseflies....Then,passingtheaislewiththebasketballs,she notedthattheAfricanAmericanswerealsobesetwithflies. Oneoftheinsectsmadeitswayontoherface.Itwasveryaggressivelyattemptingtoenterherright nostril.Sheswitchedoffthefloorbufferandglancedabout.Theflieswereincreasinginnumberbuttheir sourcewasn'tevident.Theircollectivebuzzingwasgettinglouder. JustthentheWalmartloudspeakergaveitsnightlyannouncement: ATTENTIONWALMARTSHOPPERS.ALLMONSANTOPRODUCTSFIFTYPERCENT OFF....ALSO....REGISTERSWILLBECLOSINGINFIVEMINUTES.PLEASEMAKEYOUR PURCHASESNOW,ORBEPREPAREDTOWAITFORUPTOTWENTYFIVEMINUTES. THANKYOUFORBEINGOURVALUEDSHOPPERS. Alltheshoppersfromallthesectionsmadeabreakfortheregisters,amongthemtheRedneckswith theirguns,theAsianswiththeirspoilers,theAfricanAmericanswiththeirshoesandbasketballs,AND thetransgenderedillegalimmigrantwiththeHannahMontana"twerkingshorts"shewouldbepurchasing withheremployeediscount.Meanwhile,theflieswereactivelyharassingtheshoppersbutignoringthe foodandthegarbagecans..Itwasquitedisconcerting,butnotquitealarming.Atleastnotyet... ________________________________________ RavenKimhatedguns.Gunskillpeople.Butnow,shehadanewlyacquiredrespectfortheneedtobe

abletodefendoneself.Butwheretofindaguninthemiddleofthenightinasmalltownlike Albuquerque?RavenKim'sparentswereConservativeChristiansandtheyownedguns(NRA members),butshe'dsoonerfacethezombiesbarehandedthengobackandtellherparentsthatthey wereright.So,shedroveherblackhearsetowardstheonlyplaceonEarthwheredeadlyweaponsmay bepurchasedwithoutabackgroundcheckinthemiddleofthenight:Walmart. ______________________________________________________________________________ ____ Thehordeofshopperscongestedtighteragainsttheopenregistersformingintoanimpenetrablephalanx shoppingcartsbrimmingwithcheapgoodsmanufacturedbyforeignslaves,averitablelogjamof uselessjunkandgeneticallymodifiedfoods.Thefaithfulmassesstoodthereswattingawayflies,each hopingtomaketheirpurchasesbeforetheshiftchange,whichcouldimposeadelayofuptohalfan hour. Achorusofgroansgraduallyarose.BubbaandHosslookedtooneanother.Bubbaasked,loudly enoughforthosearoundthemtohear,"What'sthebigdealwithalittlefliesandashortwait?We're goingtoHayMessmountains,andthey'llbeplentymorethanjustfliesthere."Hosssmuglyaddressed theincreasinglyirritatedcrowd,idlywavingasmallAmericanflagtheonewhichheplannedtofixto theCBRadioAntennaonhistruck. Figuringthattheywouldbeamongthosetonotmaketheinitialcutofftime,BubbaandHossplannedto enjoythewait.TheytoreintotheirfivepackofHostessapplepies,passingthemamongstoneanother, onepieperRedneck.Otherthantheflyinfestation,itwasanordinarynightatanordinarysupermarket inanordinarytowninAmerica. Then,thelightswentout. ______________________________________________________________ RavenKimcareenedthroughtheparkinglotswervingleftandrighttoavoidthedisorderlymob.There weremorepeoplethanvehiclesandtheywerearrivingfromalldirections.Sherecognizedmorethana fewaslocalvagrantsandlocalstreetwalkers.Shelookedupattheparkinglotlightsand,hadshenot justwitnessedabloodymassacreatherfavoritediner,thesightmighthaveunnervedher:swarmsof insectsflies,whichwerefilinginto"ghettoWalmart"afteramannerveryinconsistentwithknownfly behavior.

"I'mnoetymologist,butthisjustisn'tright...."ShespoketotheemptyseatwheretheGothopotamous usuallysat.Shestillcouldn'tgethermindaroundthefactofhisdeathhisbravesacrificewhichmade herescapepossible.Shewouldbedamnedifshelethismemorydown.Sheneededgunsbutobviously, shewouldnotbeexitinghervehicle. Inadditiontoarifleandpossiblysomecampinggear,she'drequirecannedfood.Therewasnoturning back.Itwasallamatterofstrategy.....Shepausedinfrontoftheentrance,staringintothestore.The lightswereoffandtheautomaticdoorswereopen.Sheconsideredthatwhathadjustoccurredat Denny'smighthavebeenmerelyoneofmanysuchincidents.Shedidn'thavetimetospeculatefurther. Aghastlyfacerammeditselfintoherwindshield,ascragglyhippysherecognizedfromoneofher Women'sStudiescoursesattheUniversity.Thehippyvomitedforthathick,blacksubstanceontothe driver'ssideofthewindshield.Itspewedinavolumewhichcouldnotpossiblyhavebeencontainedin hisentiregastrointestinaltract.Thesupernaturalnatureoftheevening'seventscouldnothavebeenany clearertoRavenKim.SherippedtheupsidedowncrossoffhernecklaceandaskedtheLordJesus Christforassistance: "HOLYFUCKJESUSHELPMETHROUGHTHISANDI'LLNEVERLISTENTOMARILYN MANSONAGAIN!JESUSIACCEPTYOUASMYLORDANDSAV"herfranticprayerwas interruptedbyghastlyfacesandclawingfingersonbothsidesofherhearse,andbythenoiseofit,on therooftoo. Moreblackvomitissuedforth,coveringthepassengersidewindow.Thenanothersalvocoveredher own.Itsmelledlikestagnantduckpondwater,notunlikethefoetidswampattheUniversityofNew Mexicowhereshelearnedtodespisefreemarketeconomics,corporations,whitepeople,andreligion. Howmanytimeshadherstupidrightwingerfatherwarnedheragainstchoosingideologyover education?Howmanytimeshadsherejectedreligioninfavorofnihilism?Hishatespeechrepeatedin herhead,butthistime,sheactuallylistened: "Whynotlearnatrade?There'snomoneyinGenderStudiesorGayEnvironmentalismandwhatever elsethoseMarxistsarepreachinginthosedensofiniquity!Learnsomethingthatwillearnyoumoney, notjustinculcateintoyouasenseofentitlement.Youhavetotakecareofnumberoneifyou'regoingto helpanyoneelse,nomatterhowgoodyourintentionsmaybe.Listen,sugarplum,princess...okay! <i>RavenKim</i>.Listen,oneofthesedays,youmayfindyourselfadriftuponatinyliferaft,inasea ofrawsewage,withnomechanicalmeansofpropulsion,butifyou'renotatotalmoonbatyouwill survive.However,youcan'tbepoliticallycorrecttoaterroristandyoucan'tgoaboutunarmed.You're

asinglewoman,youneedtobeabletotakecareofyourself." Thatwasthelasttimetheyspoke.Shecalledhimaracist,misogynisticwhitedevilandleftforcollege. Andnow,shewantednothingmorethantomakehimproud. _______________________________________________________ "ATTENTIONWALMARTSHOPPERS.THISISALEISTERCROWLEYSPEAKING.SOULS ONAREONCLEARANCE.YOURSHAVEJUSTBEENPURCHASED.YOUWILLALLBE ONE,ONEMIND,UNIFIED,POSTINDIVIDUAL,POSTEGO,WEWILLBEUNITEDIN MUTUALBONDAGEFORUNITY'SSAKE.THANKYOUFORYOURLOYALTY.DEATH WILLBEUPONYOUMOMENTARILY." Theboosandhissesweredirectedatwhicheveremployeethoughtitwouldbefunnytomakesucha hideousprank.Themassesweredividedonwhethertowaitfortheblackouttopassortosimplywalk out.Theydidn'thavetowaitlong.Thelightsflickeredbackon,thenoff,theninrapidsuccession, creatingadizzying,strobeeffect.Agroupofwomeninyogauniformsaccompaniedbyacontingentof gothsfloodedinfromtheparkinglot.Allofthemwerepalefacedandslimywithblood,bile,and somethingresemblingpeasoup. Theirhungryeyesandevilgrinssuggestedsinisterintentionsandunholyimaginingsastheysurveyedthe wallofshoppers.Therewassomethingpredatoryabouttheirstares,somethingferal.Somethingelse unusualaboutthenewcomers:flieswereissuingforthfromtheirearsandmouths. "Thisissomecreepydevilshit,"someoneuttered.Anothersuggesteditwasaprank,"It'sjustaflash mobthingy...thosearecostumes,fakeblood...see?"andhewalkeduptotheapparentleader,asmall blondewomaninaYogaoutfit.SheunceremoniouslytookabiteoutofhisAdam'sapple,andhefellto thegroundconvulsingandsquirtingbloodfromthenotfakeholeinhisneck.Fourdozensimilar incidentswerepoisedtohappenastheblooddrenchedmobadvanced.Mostoftheshoppersheldfast, butnotoutofbravery,courage,orsteadfastness,butbecausetheywerestuck.Theelectriccarts combinedwiththepushcarts,combinedwiththefactthatmorethanonethirdofU.S.adults(35.7%) areobesecreatedawallofvulnerablevictims,likeastackofpackagedmeats. Whetheritwasthedemonicpossessionalone,theirhighlyrestrictivediets,oracombinationofthetwo, itwillneverbeknown.WhatisknowableisthattheYogaZombieswantedmeat.Red,bloodymeat. Likeapackofwolves,theysavagelydescendeduponthebodiesofthosefirstinline.Fingerswere snippedoffbyincisorsandeyeballswerepluckedbyclawinghandsbeforebeinginhaledbythose

hungrymouths.Massiveswathesoffleshwererippedoffofbonesaseasilyasonemightpeelthe wrapperfromabarbecueflavoredbeefjerkystick.Nosesandgenitalswerechewedoffandswallowed whole.Clotheswererippedapartandbodieswerestrippedoftheirskinbytheenragedmob,eatingthe livingasefficientlyasantsdeconstructingafallenicecreamcone.Fewscreamslastedmorethana second.Theevilkillershonedinonthescreamersandwentrightintocannibalisticeviscerationmode. Nothroatswerespared. TheRednecks,theAfricanAmericans,theAsians,andtheTransgenderedIllegalImmigrantwere amongthebeneficiariesofthebarrierofflesh.Itwasunlikelythatanyofthemwouldsurviveifthey didn'tfindanotherwayout."Listen,Iamanemployee.There'safireexitbehindthebicyclesection." TheTransgenderedIllegalImmigrantledthewayandtheothersfollowedunquestioningly,casting uneasyglancesbackastheshoppersweremassacred,dismembered,anddevoured.Sheledthemto thefireexitandkickeditopen.Badidea.Manyoftheinfected,possessed,hungryundeadfromthe parkinglothadmadetheirwayaroundthebuilding.Thewasnoescape. Thewouldbeescapeeslookedtoeachotherformoralsupport."Wefuckednow,"oneoftheblack youthannounced."Womenxngjiao,"addedoneoftheAsians,evidentlyChinese."Fubar,"Bubba contributed."Estamosjodidos,"agreedtheTransgenderedIllegalImmigrant.Eachinhisorheror his/herownwayrecognizedthepurefuckedupednessoftheirsituation.ExceptforHoss: "Waitaminute!ThisisMerica,wedon'tjustgiveup!"Hosscockedhisshotgunandheldupan Americanflag.Thistookthegroup'sattentionoffoftheirimminentextinction."Epluribusunum.Outof onemany.Ourdiversityshouldbeourstrength.Notinthefakeunitythatthehippiesandthenihilists andthebumsarelookingfor.That'sjustaSatanicschemetoruleoveruswithenforcedconformity.We mustunitetofightforourrightnotbecollectivised!"Hosslookedintotheeyes'ofhisadhocplatoon andaddressedthemeachinturn:"Iseeblacks,andonceuponatime,Mericaenslavedyou.Isee Chinesefolk,andyourpeoplewereonceforcedtoworkontherailroads,andthere'stheillegal immigrantwiththeartificialceilingplaceduponyourupwardmobilitybythesystemwhichrefusesto acknowledgeyourexistence,evenasyoukeeptheeconomyalive!Myfolksdidn'tarrivehereuntilafter theCivilWarandwe'vebeenpoorsincethen,butyouknowwhat?We'redoingbetternowaspooras weare,thanmyparentsandtheirparentsbeforethemandit'sbecauseofthefreemarketmade possiblebyMericanExceptionalism.I'mtalkingaboutNaturalLawwhichrecognizestheveryfactthat ourfreedomsaregrantedfromGodandnotMan.Wearebornfree!Andthis,infact,iswhattheDevil isafter.ThewayIseeit,westandfighttogether,orwehanganddieseparately!" Thelegionofdemonicundeadrushedinthroughthefireescape.TheAsianstookthelead,profferinga rapidsuccessionofKungFukickswhichforcedtheinitialinvadersbackoutthedoor.Thenthe

AfricanAmericanssteppedup,withdrawingpistolsfromtheirwaistbands.Theirfirstroundofshots contactedthefirstghastlyfacestomakeitpastthedoor.Fiveghastlyfaceswereputdownwithfive bulletsfiredfromfiveillegallypurchasedweapons. HossandBubbalookedatoneanotherandshrugged.Theyturnedtoseethatamajorpartofthe invasionhadalreadysurpassedtheinitialfeedingfrenzyandwereclamouringoverthosecorpses.They tookaimandfiredatthefirstonestoclearthepile.Theotherskeptfiringtheirpistols,KungFufighting, andotherwisefendingofftheloathsomemonstrosities.TheT.I.M.pickedupamacheteandstated hackingofftheheadsandlimbsoftheonesmakingitpastthefirstlinesofdefence.Thebodieswere mountingupbuttherewasnoendinsight.Justendlesscarnage. ___________________________________________________________________ RavenKimwasdonedeliberating.Thelightswerebackon,albeitflickeringandmuchdimmerthan before.Thedisgustingcreaturesweresecondsawayfromforcingtheirwayintoherhearse.Shehitthe gaspedalandsteeredintotheautomaticdoorswhichwereopeningandclosingrapidly,notunlikethe vertical,jawlessmouthofascorpion.Thelastthingshesawbeforeclosinghereyeswasthesignonthe oppositeendofthesupermarket:SportingGoods.Guns.Ammo.CampingGear.Machetes. _________________________________________________________ Thekillingstoppedassuddenlyasitbegan.Scoresofdeadbodiesandseveredlimbswerestrewn about.Theadhocmultiethnicmilitiaremainedattheammocounterastheypickedofftheunholy legion.Highabovethem,thelightofthefullmoonshonedownthroughtheskylight,castingaglowthat seemednottoreflectthesun'sblessedlight,butinsteademanatinglikeanunholyradiationfromthe moonitself,theauraofafloatingcorpse. Thefliesretreatedupintothedarknessoftheraftersabove,congealingintoablacksphericalmass.It descendedasasolidbeing,thatofabaldmanlevitatinginameditativeposture,alightingatopthepileof halfeatencorpsesstrewnacrosstheentrance.He,orIt,seemedtobefeedingofftheescapingsoul energyofthehorrificallymutilatedbodies.BubbaexaminedthenewarrivalthroughtheHiLuxOptics WMSeriesShortMalcolmTelescopicRiflescope. "JesusAlmighty!It'ssomekindofvampire!"Bubbacouldn'tconcealthewonderinhisvoice.Itwasfar acrossthedepartmentstorefromthem,yetwhenitlookedup,BubbawassureItknewtheywere watching.Itcontinuedtofeeduponthedissipatingsoulenergyofthedeadwhichaddedfleshy substancetotheghostlyform.Itwentfromshadetofleshandboneinamatterofseconds.Itwasbyfar

themostevilmanBubbahadeverseeninreallife.Thenherememberedthatsinister,hatefilledgaze fromaYoutubevideoaboutSatanworshipandYoga....Coulditbehim?AleisterCrowley?Backin theflesh?Bubba'sownfleshcrawledandhepulledthetrigger. Nothing!Hewasoutofammunition.Helookedtotheothers.Noneofthemhadanylefteitherandthe vampirichellspawnAleisterCrowleywasstalkingovertotheirlocation,anevilgrinformingatthe cornersofhisbloodylips..... ____________________________________________________________________________

Asidefromtwodistinctimpactsandlotsofshatteredglass,thehearsemetwithlittleresistance. RavenKimopenedhereyesandshewaslookingthroughthemuddledwindshield,overthebloodied hood,atadiversegroupofproudAmericansfightingtogetherindefenceofcommonvalues.Theywere dividedbyrace,socioeconomicstatus,sexuality,andpoliticalorientation,yettheywereunitedby somethinggreaterthantheirdifferences,aunitywhichrespectedtheirindividuality. ShesawRednecks,Asians,Blacks,andaTransgenderedIllegalImmigrantMexican,alllookingather withthesameexpression,amixofshock,stunneddisbelief,andgratitude."GETIN!"Sheshouted,and theycrowdedintothehearse.Forthefirsttimeinherlife,RavenKimwasproudtobeanAmerican. Shebackedthehearseup,firstovertheanonymousbaldmanplantedfacedownonthefloorthat wouldexplainsecondimpact.Thefirsthappenedwhenshebrokethroughthepileofshoppingcartsand mutilatedbodies. "Whereto?"ShedeferredtotheelderRedneck. "HayMessMountains,"Hosssaid,seeingnoreasontointerruptthetriptotheJemezmountains."I thinkwecouldalluseabreakfromthecityfolk."Noonearguedthatpoint."Wait,beforewego...." HosssteppedoutandattachedhisnewAmericanFlagtotheradioantennaofthehearseandwithout furtherado,theypeeledoutontoRoute66andheadedwest.

EPILOGUE

MeanwhileinHell...... Satangobbledpopcornandstaredintotheinterdimensionalportal,aflatscreenedhighdefinitionbitof sorcerycapableoftappingintoWalmart'sclosedcircuitvideosurveillancesystem.Thedeathtollwas impressivebuteventhecopiousamountofbloodspilledbyAleisterCrowleyandtheLegionswas nowherenearenoughtobathetheworld,andtobequitehonestnomeanfeatfortheFatherofLiesit wasatotaldisaster.Aleisterdidn'tlastfivesecondsintheflesh.Theironyofwatchinghimbeingrun downbyahearsewastoomuchforthedeviltobear.Hislaughterbroughthimtotears. Then,asthepreviouslypolarizeddemographicsenteredthehearse,itbecameamicrocosmofthe AmericanWay,thatdetestablenotionthatindividualscanovercomethedivisionsofsurfacelevel distinctionsandformaunionbaseduponacommonloveoffreedomandliberty.Itwasabeautiful conceptwhichelevatedmentosomethingabovethelevelofanimalandthis,inspiteofhimself,also broughtHisInfernalMajestytotears.

THEEND