It really sucks how easy a father of a child, a dad who loves and cares can be not only pushed

out but cut off from his own kid(s) so easily. Even more so if he hadnt been married. Throughout my long battle and fight just to be able to stay and keep in my sons life Ive learned and been taught so many things that I still have trouble believing or understanding can happen to people. Yet Ive been told by many its common and happens all the time and to the best of people also. All I can say is my heart goes out to them. To get no help, no justice (thats fair in any way), no support with what they are trying to do. This is just a small piece of things that maybe someday Ill either understand or simply be given an explanation on as to why they are. 1st. The whole system as to how parents (moms and dads) are looked at and rights they are given is a joke. Especially for those who werent married at the time. A joke as to how marriage is seen in the justice system. Because people that may have only just met and got married right away only to divorce after less than a year are given more rights than 2 people who never married but were together for over 11 years like myself. And had a relationship that meant more than the 2 who got married then divorced also. Even though Im sure it can be hard on some without kids as a factor it is by far for those that do. Because no matter how bad, unworthy, undeserving a new mother may be for a baby they had. They are given full ownership of that child leaving the father out completely unless allowed/given by the mother or made to fight and jump through hoops in order to even have a part of that ownership the mother seems to have 100% of simply because they gave birth to it. As if men arent worthy. Even if some men actually had a harder time over the 9 months than a mother may have, or even if some men would gladly take on that role if it were possible. With me, I am the one who wanted the baby. Not her. Im the one who got her pregnant because of this want. Not the other way around. Nor was it an accident. Maybe a mistake. Now, only due to my ignorance in having it with someone I trusted and thought I knew. Putting faith in that person in how they should stand up for me as a parent with our child whether or not we remained together as a couple. But be this as it may it didnt matter. Even though my son is just as much a part of me as he is of her. And took us both to conceive. I, the father, due to not being married was made by no choice except to not be a dad to go to a parenting class an entire day then also made to accept any and all monetary responsibilities with the child. Not that I see this as a problem or something fathers shouldnt accept anyways but its done still without being given any real power in the parenting responsibilities. Nor does it make anything even close to equal between mother and father.

The woman doesnt have to do single thing. Nor would a married man. Now its bad enough most women think just because they gave birth to a child that makes them either a good parent or a knowledgeable one. But to force or say a guy needs to take a parenting class to teach him about being a parent when a married man or woman could just as easily know as much or as little as that person. Basically the system makes a UN married man fight from the beginning. All the way an uphill battle. And even then a battle that wont even make you equal as one might think. Its only a battle to allow you the right to say you are a parent and to have your name on the birth certificate. Besides this, equality of any other kind really doesnt happen or wont be upheld anyways. And even if you think it can, or have seen it that is but only an instance. And for the 1 that is upheld by courts there are 50 more that dont.

have got to be 2 of the saddest and most ignorant people Ive come to know so far in my life. And I must be equally so for ever having stuck my pecker in a place I wouldnt put someone else now. My son to whom I love and wanted, to whom she never did and only says she loves him, more out of hate for me than real love for him. The son I have gone thru the ringer for and put my family through hell for, gone many many thousands of miles for. While this Eric cock sucker hardly drives across the city for his own. And she hasnt done shit for my son except driving 2000 miles to spite me and take my son from me and him from me all out of her own selfishness nothing else. Those 2 little bitches are taking my son from me and turning him into what they want or think they should. Not allowing me nor giving me the respect of a good father who tried and worked on being that and still is. She thinks whoever she is screwing at the time and moves in and watches my son when she needs get to be and teach and tell anything they want to my son. She has been and still does and always has used my son as a pawn. So many people have seen this and know this and only can say how sorry they are for my son. She thinks what she is doing is OK in every regard even to the point shes allowed him (Eric) to call me, threaten me, and tell me how it is and how to raise my son and talk to him. That fuck doesnt know what being a parent even is. He thinks this because Jenny who also has no clue can just allow him this, give him this. He couldnt even be one nor did he want to be one for his own kid. And this was probably wishes a pathetic loser. They all say has nice and treats my son goodBig deal lets see him raise a baby, change some diapers, and get up in middle of the night..Nope couldnt handle that but apparently can handle shooting his rifle around my own son when he was 4 and a half. Teaching him its OK to kill things like birds. Because they eat all the food.

Imagine that. I giant forest and the birds eat all the foodThat same food I dont see him eating. And does that mean also when a persons dog or cat comes and takes food off my plate I get to kill them and just shrug it off. And Jenny allows this, condones this and doesnt talk to me anymore because of things like this. And if she doesnt allow it or says anything he will leave her like the pussy he is. She says hes there for her, yeah what a pipe dream that turned out to be. There for her as long as she a total bitch and sees to it hes the boss of my son and she has full control over anything I have to do with him.what a stupid fuck they areThats not parenting. Hats forcing a child to be and do whatever they want him to do, no choice. They are such losers they have to make a child like them by keeping him from people who have and show real love. Not fake love like they seem to have and think. All based off of lies. They cant have someone love them because of how they are so they give them (my son) no choice. She is so shallow if she were water she would barely fit in a tea spoon. He is such a undeserving loser thinking he can tell or say how me and my son are together that it kills me knowing how much my son will hate all of us for that shit thinking so and for her thinking so and for me not being there(only cause they have made that way not me).

Back to the point should "I" the person whom was dating, living, sharing everything in my life with and hers with me not know much about each other. Do you think the person whom I had intimate relations with, a child with, taken showers with could really care about most of which Im being accused of. Do you think all those years together she hadnt told me her password on many things or myself telling her mine...We both had, on many occasions? And whats sad is I have been given access and passwords to hundreds of systems and people I have done work for and always tell every single one, and also go on to add any educated, intelligent person should or does know to change their password. Doesnt need to be every day (I go by the industry norm) every 3 months or so. Then also am I to be considered a stalker for calling her actual work number looking for her because I was worried not only about her but my son most of all. And this was only the second time ever, her entire time there I had ever called her work...unlike herself who not only called my work and office number just as much as she did my cell but left many harassing and damaging messages on the work voice mail also. I was lucky enough to have owners and bosses alike understand even though they did have concern with her messages. Should a good father and even a person without children not show any concern for their own child or of children whom by not only the mothers own statements of, but also a persons actions have shown they are either not good around kids,children. Should I believe Jenny and trust her telling me Eric is fine around my son when she hasnt even talked to him in over 11 years and then not put a little trust in Erics Ex. own words(who had been, known and around him previous 11 years)when she stated Eric is a crappy father and isnt considered one by his own kid even And doesnt care to be. The problem also is I understand LOVE and what it can do. It can give you sight or blind you stupid. And for Jenny to tell me she knows Eric and who he is. And then also say to me on separate occasions "things just aren't like they used to be, I just thought it would be like it was back then". Well duh. Can you say a kid you used to play with when you were 5 years old is going to be the same kid or do or think the same when hes 16 years

old. Cause that is what she was telling me. And espected and thought it was suppose to be also. Very ignorant. Case in point about love blinding at times. The letters I wrote her family. Just because she always had a sad relationship and never wanted them knowing much about her life Ive not been like that. And I have the courtesy to thank people I love or Ive known for many years that helped me out. If people you know for over 11-12 years have a problem with me telling them how Ive felt and they have made me feel thats a real bummer. Because I am very grateful anyone tells me thank you or shows gratitude for things Ive done. All anyone of her sister, mom or dad could have said was "just dont talk or write anything to us ever or any more, OK" and even though I wasnt planning on it I surely would not have if asked that especially. Jenny crapped all over me and yelled at me because her grandma had died...I had feeling for her grandma as well. Its ashamed she couldnt have told me or let me know so I could have shown or given my respects. She was a great and very nice lady...And for Jenny to just act like she did and think I wouldnt have cared really made her one of the smallest people I have come to know. Enemies have shown greater respects to each other in times of death. And understood better also. NO ONE WHO HAS DIED DOESNT DESERVES NOT GETTING THE RESPECT OF ANYONE WILLING TO GIVE IT. What A SMALL PEROSN jenny HAD BECOME FROM THE ONE i KNEW.

\I said I asked for so little at the beginning. When I should have taken and fought if I could have, right then and there. All well. Like everyone tells me. Life isnt fair. Thats the way it is. Im the one who decided to have a kid with a bitch. And now I get to deal with it. I just wanted my son and to be with .She just makes 1 excuse after another. You try and talk to her and she becomes confrontational on anything youre asking her to simply think about or discuss further. But I get hung up on or straight up told no and thats it. Im not allowed to have any say. And thats really bull like I was saying about the sitter or emergency. She said she didnt want me calling anybody ever. And its my right. She gets pissed because we did the school evaluation; Oh is that because Im not allowed to be a dad a parent. And its my legal right and is suppose to be about where he goes to school and how he learns things as well. Not hers, its supposed to be ours. And still to this day I have never had 1 single say about anything except that school when he was out here. And even then she got pissed. she turns everything on me gets Eric telling me to quit calling cause Im going to mess him up, All because I love my son and want to talk to him. Its not my calling him thats messing him up. Its me having spent so much time with him, sleeping in his room with him. Loving him, and them cutting me off from him whenever they feel thats making him like that. He acts out because I dont get to talk to him and they think and say I dont matter and that its from me talking to him. And its unbelievable he gets in trouble and was crying so hard cause they wouldnt let him go too his grandmas right there. She sent this to me yahoo messenger yesterday..Dont know what shes talking about but she has no idea. So hopefully she can deal with things 1 day. Too bad Im just doing think it will be till too late. Jenny 11:35 AM 9/29 I'm only reacting to what your actions. Sorry you have so much bitterness, it only hurts you. If you want to have a relationship with your son I suggest you let go of all of your hate. It's too bad your mom has you handcuffed to Arizona with a house and a car. When are you going to be your own person? You'll never be happy living so far away. You can thank your mom for that. Maybe

you should blame her for your unhappiness. That would be more appropriate. 12:21 PM 9/29 If you want to talk to Alex then call and ask for him but please leave me alone and stop sending mean messages.
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All I wanted and have wanted was to be with my son. All shes done is kept and lied and prevented me from doing so. And now thinks she can just give it away. and lets him threaten me more and make threats to you .And she calls and writes and says she not trying to take or keep Alex from me and then lets Eric call and tell me not to call my son anymore....doesnt call for 2 weeks then when I call her mom and leave a nice message, calls right away to tell me to never call her family even if Im worried about alex. She threatened she would call the cops on me if I ever called her family or his day care, or anywhere else he may be. And I cant tell her he cant be around guns. Cause if she wants to let her dad take him hunting or something she will, nothing I can do about it. Basically because I love my son, and tried talking to him every day and worried about him like I should, I'm being punished, i'm being told Im not allowd.even the stuff I have court orders on I cant win with her. She cant say I cant call places like his day care and stuff and for her to threaten me about calling anywhere because Im worried about my son is bullshit... I may have caused this but did I. Was me wanting and loving my son my fault. Should I have let her treat and tell me stuff like that and let it go on forever...Shes unfit for simply making Alex feel she is the only one and whoever she says is also the only one allowed for him to love. Or be with. And makes him understand this by not keeping her word on anything like when she said she would answer the phone along with much more, showing shes boss and prevents anyone from having routine like children need to have..When Ive made promises to him a thousand times over, about many things from talking to him and seeing him shes made sure I didnt and couldnt keep them. shes created a lot of doubt in his head about me, you and whoever else. By him thinking I lied or didnt keep my word. And her taking him to McDonald's and leaving her phone in her car at that exact time on purpose. Then all hell think of me as is a liar and someone he cant build trust in because I never keep my word. when its her who prevents me from doing so........I hate this......Even if I may have done this to myself, I wish just once things would be right. I could say its my fault for having him with her in the first place, but its done....all that matters is what I can do now and Ive never prevented nor kept her from loving him or him her. Thats all she has done...So if any of this you can see as making her unfit please word it and write it to them if I can use it. Cause I will make this happen somehow, she has less has just a little as me to work with but I have my love and heart and she feels by far overly confident now. And I know that may not be enough for me, my heart that is, but all I have to do is break her on any one single point or show Alex being around Eric has damaged him, and our relationship that would be enough for her to sweat it and give in to at least the sitting down and making proper adjustments with me accordingly. Nothing I did or have done ever hurt or put Alex in danger or messed him up in any way. Everything she has does and is directly and going to directly affect Alex and the way he thinks the rest of his life. I've only ever directed stuff at her..Because of her. She does stuff and directs it to Alex to get back at me. So whatever mom. All I want is fairness

and time with my son. And to not feel threaten by her or Eric ever again. Not just telephone, I want to know he's not being controlled or afraid to feel or do something. Not feel hell be punished for saying he loves me or anyone. And hes allowed to have fun and be with me and not worry about getting into trouble for doing so either.. I want to count in his life and I want him to know it and them to have to except it...Even though Alex didnt want to talk to jenny when he was with us, imagine that...I still told him every time me and your mom love you and she wants to talk to you so your going to talk to her...But thats what I was talking about the way he acts...like around Eric he wont say I love you and acts diff. he knows or thinks or has been made to feel hell get in trouble for doing so. Maybe thats why he didnt want to talk to jenny ever. Maybe thats why he was calling Nancy mom when he was going over there. even though he knows she wasnt I think he was doing that cause it was so nice he was making himself think that cause of how he feels at home with jenny. He always got on the phone with me, always said he loves me. No problem. Then within 2 weeks of getting back there he stopped...Maybe because hes being made to feel by being threatened if he does.... With the ever strong bond I and Alex have being destroyed daily. And it not even being a second thought from there side. As a matter of fact the opposite, they blame and are trying to push any feeling Alex has they dont like as being my fault and interaction between us. And that may be true because we love each other and it is affecting us. So therefore they say me saying I love you to him is affecting him and then he calls you and harasses you and me. But I know I cant even with all I can prove by myself. Her not being there cause shes busy with stuff. Which is good, but not when it pushes me out.2) demographically, that whole area within 50 miles is nowhere for a child to be brought up. All her family are alcoholics, none of them her mom mostly doesnt like watching him because there busy going out a town to drink festivals and such. I know her mom loves Alex but its only conditional not unconditional love The only reason there probably still together id cause they have a common enemy and see a common threat. ME. Hes told me I dont need to be talking to Alex At all. And heres Jenny--day in and day out calling to say, I dont know why you dont want to and arent talking to Alex, Mike.Im not trying to keep him from you at all The only way I could beat her is with your help. Possibly proving youd be the major deciding factor and a beneficial person to see he succeeds but also has a chance to know his father and all the family members who love him here as well. Showing you have a house and room to which he would and does have .ect.. But I know that wont happen. Even when we all could see this as a good thing. Even tom for all he didnt have a chance with his kids, heres a chance to get that back. If not just a little. To show and have love and support and know it is going to be returned and can be watched to see the support that was given is being used and benefited fro
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ect...I want her to have to deal with that for a while. She can have Eric and do school. whatever. I just am not going to be like uncle bill and have my kid be there but not really. And Im not going to have Jenny telling someone down the line like Erics ex told jenny in an email about there kid. And that was her new husband is their daughters dad, has been and will be. Eric is only there

when she gets mad at one of us but otherwise he isnt in her life...whether he did that or she did I dont care. I refuse to have her ever say that about me. And she already has somewhat. She said Im the one who left, and its not her fault I live 2000 miles away. And Im the one who has to deal with it. And how she would never leave her kid and cant understand how I could. Blaming me on every turn. Making me feel like the bad one. Everything she has done and does, not letting me talk to him, wont let him be with me, but will with Eric..Its as good as her saying Im not the dad or a good one or deserving of my son as someone who isnt is. there are a 1000 reasons why I am willing to do what I am going to do and barely a teaspoon full why I shouldnt just want for him to be with me right now. I know why people can make it that are worse off now. They have to. I want to have to also. ive been writing a list of reasons just to keep making myself believe I am the person jenny makes me like I am not every day, by not respecting me as his father nor my son to his dad. *I have invested interest. *Im the one who quit my jobs to come out and help her and to be with my son. *Im the one who has helped raise him, change his diapers. *Im the only one who really did or took him anywhere. She only did if she had to. She was busy with school work then her job. *She would bitch at me to keep him busy while she did stuff. *Im the one who was watching him while she was going out every night till morning With Eric. *Ask her how many times she went to her dads when I was with her.5-6 times maybe. And Now that shes with Eric, how many times. Alot.why? Cause hes a drinker. Now she is. And Thats what they do now. And she bitched at me because I didnt want them shooting guns Around him at all. yeah real good. A bunch of back woods guys getting drunk and Shooting guns. yup real safe. *Living back there is a joke. She has even said that over a dozen times. But the main Thing is and she said this everyone is the same. No one has changed, moved on, done Anything with their lives. nothing. Like I want him growing up around that. *He has more kids and family here that are closer, and more that are his age. *She preventing him from learning valuable social skills by HIM not being around More kids more often. *Ive never used him as a tool just to make someone stay with me * Never used him against her, threatening to take him, keep him from her, and not let her Talk to him. *I kept my word and called at 5 every day when we made a schedule because she couldnt Handle just giving him the phone when she in the other room doing nothing. And she Blew that. And couldnt even do it. And still thinks shes in the right and that Im the

One who did everything? *She didnt call but 5 times when he was out here. And I called her more cause she Wasnt calling and even then she didnt answer half the time. She was too concerned bout Eric leaving her for exactly what she wanted. To be clingy with someone. hats All she said she wanted and he was giving her before I left. That changed real quickly And so she changed for him. He didnt come back because he changed his mind. He did cause She said she would not be so clingy anymore. Kind of funny thats why she started Dating him to begin with.
who actually even thinks there special or know what being a real parent is get all control....I think when stuff like this happens all/everyone involved should be held accountable the rest of their lives...all people in all childrens lives should be made to prove there worth. Not just fathers who happened to be unmarried. Its all bull, If one states things about an ex partner I think a person should be assigned to that person for a short period to watch and get 1st hand knowledge of person..Either way its all about did it or not. Maybe it would a helped if I got a single piece of useful info out of any of this at all. At work I study problems, and solve them. And its irritating when I cant sometimes because someone has not provided me facts and info I need. Such as what are the courts exactly looking to hear, find, and want? They looking for motive, would they care if it was done on purpose or accident? Why is it that right when she did this it took all past issues with her away from me yet she can sit there and not only get me on anything, but do anything also, and get away with it. How is it that all she has done and does to my son/us isnt enough to prove that she instigates everything and gets away with it all. You always say there are people at your work who get pulled out cause there ex's have them drug tested and stuff yet I cant do anything to her. All these things she gets away with that if I were to have done I would a been done in a skinny minute...She says she doesnt want me to take Alex or is afraid ill kidnap him...because that was exactly what she had done. I cant have guns or anything yet she can let whomever shoot them around my/our son and when its a person she hasnt known for over 12 years plus around her drunk dad.....Thats great...Then she has blamed me for anything she couldnt or cant come up with excuses herself on, threatens me for defending myself and trying to defend my son and our relationship. While all along not caring about her own with him. She doesnt care about my son as much as she thinks. Shes willing to make him deal with whatever, punish him for whatever, and put blame on me for the rest all for things shes causing and refuses to see, believe or do anything about...Past 2 days she sent me many texts.....shitting on me..Telling me Im an ass. And asking if I punished Alex for anything or put him in time out at all. And she was pissed cause she said he thinks hes the boss now and she had to ground him from the Wii for 2 days because hes not..And she said I taught him to cry to get his way. She said Alex told her I told him to cry and stuff to get his way....Then went on to say shes mad cause thinks shes the only one who has to discipline him...I said I did if I had to but he was fine and we just loved each other whole time. And the times he did at Nancys he was put in time out and had told her that was what I was trying to discuss with her that she refuses to accept or talk about..Our son. She said he needs to respect all of us, I told her if there one thing

shes taught me, respect is earned remember. And even with her and Eric disrespecting me in front of my son I still have more and should. She then got really pissed and said she cant believe I sent him home with a splinter in his hand and he was sick also. And why didnt I let her know or do something....She said now shes going to have to take him to the doctors to get it out. And just kept digging into me. All this is happening because of all she has done, not having let me talk to him, not showing support to our son but instead to a total stranger and diff. guy she has moved in simply to push Alex on him. Refuses to believe anything she does or has done affects Alex at all. not letting me talk to my son after sleeping and living with him/them over a year and half then just moving someone else in there, this doesnt affect a child, then the mother not calling to talk to a child she says needs her so much. And throwing to a grandparent at the airport in a big busy place that doesnt affect a child. Then making Alex like or deal with things not because he should or is something needs to but because she refuses to let him have any other choice...punishing him and yelling and grounding him for wanting to go to his grandmas because shes pushed an un familiar person on him and refuses to accept he may be uncomfortable or whatever. This doesnt hurt a child..Making him go through many weeks and many times being unhappy or scared or made to feel things he shouldnt or doesnt want all because she says so. Not because theres logic or fact. Just her saying shes right even if wrong and you know what My kid is going to deal with it even if it will affect him and how he is and sees or perceives this world the rest of his life. This doesnt affect a child. Anyways can you see about faxing Caitlin that tax info she should still give to her attorney to see. So I dont have to waste time like this for something she will very well refuse. Screw it, shes just going to be a total crap rest of me and Alex life, I'm still never going to forgive her Or see her as anything other than the pile of puke she is.But want to make sure one day Alex will see I did everything I could and that all is documented very well on her and what she is and has been doing..So I can show him and have it all on paper with her signature so he will know what she really is. And when that day comes I will not feel sad nor will I tell or make him feel he will need to forgive her,ever. When that day comes I will allow him to hate her to the end of times. And should she feel bad or sad about any of this for being a stubborn, selfish. bit7876 I will at most spit in her face, but even that I dont feel she is good enough for so whatever..All this she is blaming me for with our son just makes me so angry she would do this. And to sit there and bitch instead of resolving it like I was trying to do with her...I dont know what to say though. Like I told nancy. Im sorry and nothing I can do. or allowed to do. But I know Im not showing him how to fight,punch,Kill things,ect..All this stuff her and Eric have affected in my son a child and blame on me like I knew she would. hats why I was pissed a while back I said this, that she would do that. And what do you know. I wonder if anyone realizes how much Ive been right about everything for so long...That isnt to say I havent done things wrong, But she is out of line, and not accepting things and his behavior is sad......sorry just needed to get stuff off my chest again. Jenny said she only did that because Eric told her he just wanted to talk to me. And that I shouldnt have, pissed him off because of the email I sent his ex..And if you look at it, it was nothing that would have made anybody mad. It was me pleading with the last person I could think of that could give me insight and make me feel better. I was talking to my mom on the phone at the time it happened and I

even told her as it was happening. I pulled up alongside of her vehicle where he was out and standing by the passenger door waiting for me to pull up. And I did to see what was going on. And he tried hitting me through my rolled down window, the tried opening up my door and grabbing me out. I had my seat belt on and kept trying to pull out of there and finally managed to. And ended up speeding back to pats freaking out. Jenny finally let me pick up Alex late that day to which I got a hotel till Monday morning so Alex and I could spend our weekend together without worrying about jenny setting me up again or Eric doing anything stupid... Things to remember. Not a single time has she let me have Alex on my tax return? Also I was paying not only child support to her when I was living with her and watching Alex all the time cause she was doing school, then school work, then work on weekends. And I was still paying that full 60.00 a week, when it turned out for how little I was making and living in the same house hold after filling out child support change papers it turned out that she should have been paying me a 130.00 a month. Then she has never paid half let alone at all for Alex to visit or come out. So why it is that Eric ex didnt let him be with his kid. Did he ever watch any kids? Did he ever go to parenting class? Did or does he pay child support. Jenny cant say she did anything for Alex about his speech or learning or any of that. My mom did all the work. She took care of stuff and sent us all the info... If she thought I was a danger to Alex, why would she have still let me take him the weekend I was leaving? If she thought I was going to do/try/attempt anything. And if I had done anything, "REALLY" why would she have let me even be near him. That would have been completely stupid and opposite of what 1 would do. But she did. So if I did shes more the bad parent for doing so. How many times did I take Alex to the childrens meuseum. About 8 times? How many times did jenny go with.. once. How much did she take him herself...none. It was Friday, may 29th.I call every day. Or try anyways. at 5.And Ive asked you politely to just ask him to be quit when I call just for the few seconds I talk to my son. I try and create conversation of some sort with alex. asking him anything just to get a response. How are you","i love you and "I miss you".i try and talk to him. I asked if he was watching cartoons. He said no. i asked what he was doing. He said "nothing. I asked if he was going to grandmas knowing you worked tomorrow. And he started to scream and cry and put the phone down. You jumped on and said in a very mean way, what did you say to him"? I said nothing. Figured Eric was there so hung up. Then 2 minutes later Eric called me, flipping out on me, saying, what the fuck you got to call up and upset the kid for?"And Started going off cussing me out. Saying hes going to kick my ass and fuck me up. So I hung up. I want to know why Alex was screaming/crying when I asked him that. And why you just let Eric listen in on me talking to my son? And why Eric would even actually call me and say threats and tell me anything. I cant believe you actually are O.K. with whatever he thinks, but its like all the shit he could have been pissed about or have called about and he calls me and shits on me for calling MY SON (like I do every day) and he calls me

and says what the fuck you called up and getting Alex in trouble for? You know hes in trouble? What the fuk? I couldnt get a word in edge wise so I hung up. So hows it look, I called and Alex wasnt sounding normal, then I ask him if hes going to grandmas? And I hear him put down the phone and start screaming and crying. Why would Alex do that? And why would he get in trouble for crying. Neither me nor Alex said or did anything wrong. And I want to know why Eric thinks he can or have even the slightest right to worry about anything me and Alex talks about. And why you would not give Alex the privacy...And also, tell me this. You think Im OK with him being with or around Alex with how Eric thinks. Youve been cool, or a really good faker/liar. Either way I appreciated that. But him calling me really messed things up and changed things. I have been working on not thinking about us anymore and only Alex. Ive been doing well. I dont try and call or talk to you any more. Ive accepted the fact no matter how much I call, I Know youre still not going to answer. But I will not deal with him interfering with how Alex thinks and acts towards me. But I have to think youve said and made me out to be the worst ex/person. And made Eric think Im so low that he can straight out call and say and threat things like he did. Either way Jenny, hes treding. Like I said, nothing I can do now about us. Even if I do love you. But Alex is another story. Its amazing that out of all the things he called me about that dealt with you (the thing he has) he called me about the only thing that cant and will not ever be his. ALEX. So I want to know, why and what gave him or made him think that. Alex and everything dealing with Alex is for us to work out. And we did. somewhat. only after I put you on the spot asking why Alex was so upset when I was just trying to create conversation with my son. You said he wanted to go to grandma Mary's earlier in the day and you 2 wouldnt let him. And told him NO. Then when I called, asking how he was and just trying to create conversation I asked if he was going to grandmas tonight, knowing you had to work.....From there he threw down the phone and started screaming and crying in the back ground. You jumped on the phone and very rudely and yelling you said" what the fuck did you say to him All I knew is that 1 sec. ago I was talking to my kid,next,hes crying and your flipping out thinking I said something. So I said whatever, and hung up.2 sec. later I got that call from eric oid want to know why my son is being punished for having wanted to go to his grandmas? Why it would be a problem when she lives out your back yard? And why you would think I said anything to Alex to make him cry like that? And why Eric was threatening me over OUR kid why you let him in front of my son, when my son was already upset. And why you just think Im suppose to forget it and just blow it off because you say it was all a mistake and a misunderstanding. Even if it was (and I dont think so, something was wrong. I could hear it in Alex voice, or maybe it was because you 2 were standing over him while I was asking him things) Eric has no right or place or say. And it made me feel like he or both of you were up to something and didnt want me finding out why Alex was so upset, and was trying to turn it around on me when maybe theres good reason why Alex wanted to go to his grandmas and not stay there with Eric.....Either way something wasnt right. And you not wanting to talk to me about these issues is bull....I want explanations, not you saying "forget about it, and "dont worry about it" then hanging up on me. And not letting me speak with my son any more...

Friday. Now Ive been extremely patient in dealing with Jenny. Even though she is really just a controlling, manipulative, delirious, confused, illogical, non-analytical, rush-into-things-without-thinking, type of major bitch. But now I'm growing ever so tired of her shit. And Im hoping who ever reads this stuff if anything should ever happen to me, that she was a great cause of many of my lifes misfortunes and downfalls. Doesnt matter what anyone could say otherwise, but I destroyed a lot of what I saw my life could have been early on for sake of her? Gave up a lot, and gave up ON a great many things for so much, so many times. To which to this date I would bet she wouldnt be able to recollect even a single one thing. As a matter of fact to the contrary, id bet she would say the opposite. But for now lets stay with what happened tonight rather than talking about the more-than-over-past. About a year or so before she went back to Indiana one night she had her back side window busted in her jeep Cherokee and her stereo stolen. And even though I had told her to pay attention to shit like that because of where SHE had us move to. And that she should make sure to never leave anything in the car because something like that might happen. Just like always she like most are either 1) to lazy, 2) to stupid, or 3) just dont listen to me or anything I have to say cause there to stubborn and refuse to believe any of that, or 4) all of the above. (Its 4) So anyways I'M the one who cleaned her car all back up, vacuumed the glass, put her dash back together, ect.. Not her, not at all. Then cause she didnt (or so she said since I found out later she had lied about this) not having any money to get it fixed. I wasnt going to let her drive OUR kid around in the back seat with a busted out window. So I took time out of my day and $50 bucks out of my pocket and got a special piece of plexy glass I had the specialty shop cut to the perfect fit of that back window piece then took more time putting it in. Granted it wasnt the 100 % prettiest job but it definitely wasnt bad thats for sure. And it was stronger and unbreakable by a long shot. So moving along about 2 years later (today-Now) last week she had finally bought a new stereo for her car to put in the empty hole where the other had been, she called me up for help because she was going to do it herself. So not wanting her to screw it up and knowing how impatient she is I told her to wait till the next day to do it and I spent some time pulling up wiring diagrams and wire color codes for her specific make and model vehicle, printed them up, then wrote out more directions, and gave her a bunch of these little quick disconnect wire splice connectors we use at work so she wouldnt have to cut any wires or risk screwing things up if she did do that. Then I spent $57.85 to fed ex all that stuff priority overnight to her. Then spent about an hour on the phone helping her do it once she got it all. Now just tonight out of nowhere she calls me up at work and told me how slick I was. I said, What. She says the back doors to my vehicle, the back doors only un lock from the front door locks Again I replied What? and What the fuck are you talking about I said. And she said You almost got away with it At this point I stopped working and got serious and told her to tell me what in the fuck exactly she was talking about? She said you cant open the back doors when there locked from the back doors. They need to be unlocked from the front doors in order for you to open them. At this point I still had no clue where she was going with this and still had no idea what she was still talking about. Then she said my stereo, you stole it that night. Because you had keys and you would have needed them to open the door cause you couldnt have got in otherwise. Then I reminded her No shit thats why they busted your window out, dumb ass. So they could unlock the door and open it. Without a key. And this whole time Im just thinking youve got to be kidding me. I cant believe she would call me up and tell me something like this let alone what the fuck is she doing with herself and her time and with my child there as well. Dwelling on things that not only dont matter anymore and are far over and in the past, but manifesting and making up bullshit in her head that make absolutely no sense at all whats so ever. And even then after all I had done to help her fix the problem that was 100 % her own. Its all one big joke. I cant help but to insanely laugh at all this. That this person I once thought I knew and could trust and depend on to be strong in the head just turned out to be none of these things or have none of them. And to think she has MY SON, the one I wanted and even as I surely type this, to think he is around someone like this learning and growing really frustrates me, deeply hurts me, and enrages my inner self like no one could even comprehend. Its funny how so many in this

world at times like this like to say they understand and know how it is and blah blah blah. Well its funny how so few thought a person like Jeffery Dommer could/would have done the things that he did. And tell me, how many to this date would say they knew what he had gone through in his life and understood. Probably about none. Well I feel much pain. My son is so much more than anyone could ever imagine or think. For me making that life to begin with meant so much more than just going ahead and having sex and hoping youre going to make a baby. I believe people have the ability to manipulate how a child can or will be far before conception even. Doesnt matter what others think or might say. This is my belief and I neither seek anyones approval of it, nor to prove otherwise, nor do I look for others to follow it by thinking the same way. And really dont care for opinions either. But I think by feeling a certain way and thinking a certain way pre-ahead of time. Building yourself up with thoughts and feeling of how you would like or think they will be for a couple weeks before hand, and then feel these things strong enough with passion for them almost, while actually having intercourse and conception of the baby. With your thoughts being controlled along with your entire body chemical changes of neurotransmitters and such you can pass this on into the babys genetic makeup. I think more so by a long shot than people who just have sex or want a baby and just do it to have one. I made myself feel strong emotion in all aspects of life way ahead of time. From the gaining of knowledge to feeling joy and happiness to having a great deal of common sense with things in life. I was hoping to be able to teach my son and have him watch and learn from me, and others who offered their wisdom as well. Im sure, all the things we have already learned and know of. I have mainly my mother (and real close to my mother only) for so much of the things I've come to understand. Even when I may not pick or do the correct things to which I know I have my reasons for this. I do most certainly know at least. Things that couldnt really be figured out or that had no real right answer to, therefore could never have been learned. She taught me to understand them- to see them. Even without needing to prove them for myself. Being that most of these things I speak of ever had any real right answer or solution. More or less my mother amazingly to me, and yes, many others see her as being quite wise and very knowledgeable and extremely patient about more things in life than I can even comprehend or even know of. So much I have seen her do and choose to do and not to do so perfectly and without hesitation or second thought, (that was noticeable anyways) I still just cant believe how she does it. She is one I hold with my highest regard, respect, And there is no one I speak of higher in all aspects of my life and is the only one I seek and take advice from on anything due to everyone elses words are merely meaningless opinions scattered around what they think. Rather with her, things are primarily based out of fact and around what she knows. She is the only one who has been there for me no matter what. And this too is what I want to be for my son. Not growing up thinking Im some way or another. But growing up knowing who and how I am. So back to my son again, as you can now see these are some of the things I was looking forward to him growing up and developing around. So much knowledge and understanding of things in our world so many have learned just disappears with that person if its never pasted down or taught to others. Well even though I know I cant learn everything my mother has to offer. True. I was hoping to help pass as much to my next generation as I could and give and be to my child the thing I didnt have long enough when I was growing up. My father. I believe the way I am today for sure was greatly due to #1 him having died, but also just not having that type figure around at all as I grew older. I do feel every child really must have both sides in there life always in order to have a fuller more better understanding of life and a perspective of everything from both sides. And although I would never want to change things back or have my mom think she could have done any more than what she has done, (more than most do in their life time) I only wish I could have done more, shown more, and been more. Ive utterly all but destroyed myself inside really. Never

wanting to understand all I had in front of me as well as refusing to use the help I had been offered by so many. My son was going to help me change that by how I feel with him being my child and having him grow up with a dad, the whole aspect of how I see and feel and think about myself changed with him in my life. Now by far worse cause of him not only already growing and learning without me in his life. But instead with someone like her. I never wanted to fight over him nor make what I had to say about any-one thing in his life the only thing he would hear. In fact the opposite. That was the one thing as a matter of fact I told Jenny I wanted was for us, ME and HER. To be the only ones in control of which he would grow from, learn from, be taught things from. Not her family not my family just us. And as we can see, she took care of that one and only thing I had asked even when there was so much more I would have wanted or liked for things to have been or become. And to think how stupid I was to have allowed this to happen. And how sad I feel to think of what he might be learning to be like or think like in any way from her and how she is and acts around him. As well as the so very little real knowledge hell ever be able to gain around someone like that. I believed kids hold the real power inside them. The majority society has taught all people in life of what minority society should and can be capable of through means of that which they are incapable of and unable to accomplish or do themselves. Everything they say to be impossible/ not attainable by their stupid, worthless, lazy waste of flesh means is suppose to be the same for all others as well. As if no one can be smarter than the teacher who teaches them. I laugh at this. Answer me this: How many sports coaches can you think of in any sport that can out run or out do even some of their worst players let alone the best? Few to none. I rest my case. Or not feasible. It has done this by means of teaching us all that they feel is impossible starting at a childs earliest age. From the beginning of their first day at school throughout the rest of their life. So much of our world has been suppressed and prevented from doing and thinking so much that IS possible and attainable and we ARE capable of doing. All because the people teaching the prevention to begin with lack any real belief in themselves, let alone others to do this. And with that refuse to allow others who are capable to do so. They say because we cant do that you cant either, and were not going to let you try or even think you can try by teaching you early in life that you cant. Therefore you grow up thinking you cant and teaching the next generation the same thing. Until someone does or is able to challenge it. By that time many years have passed. That, this thing we were all taught to not be possible that could have made so many peoples lives better (maybe) so long ago if it had been done then. I see things differently. For the most part the people teaching/preaching these things are very closed minded and 2 dimensional. They are too fat or lazy or unwilling to get up and grow or too ignorant to even try. They dont want to allow others who arent that way to even get a chance. Only cause they lose their power then. And show that those poor qualities of things that lie within themselves are really true. And what is really just humans evolution in our given environment to adapt and become better turns out to be there worst nightmare. Jenny is one of these people. Unwilling to believe in things that are fact and can be proven, she relies on hiding from the truth and not allowing it to be faced in any manner. Anytime I speak of truth she runs and hides by hanging up the phone. Not to go seek out what may be the real truth or to see about verifying my verifiable information. But instead to convince herself of the bullshit and lies she thinks in her head and re-gathers her beliefs about something before Ive cutoff all her excuses with fact of what really is and does happen in the real world. What a sad, small person she has turned out to have become. For her, I will show no pity nor feel any pain for the wrath she will surely receive due to the actions she has so stupidly chosen to put on people. And can only hope and wish for my son to do the best he can with such failure, digression of knowledge, and prevention to seek out the truth in everything along with anger and resentment, and her delusion of facts constantly surrounding him.

6/6/2010 Well just got back from Indiana 2days after the court hearing with jenny. And am very disappointed. Not that I lost by any means. Of course the judge did keep the Order of protection in place. But that was only due to him seeing no real reason not to at this point. Due to myself not being able to give good enough reason why or how it might hurt me to just leave it. And also just in case...Its really sad because the system works like this and if I had done that to her like I said I was going to rather than giving her the idea or opportunity to maybe it would have been different. And afterwords for her to say to me we didnt need to do this or go through all this as she had said before is still such a joke coming from her...She is, was, and has been just another controlling little no body. Granted, I may have done somethings that were wrong but nothing compared to those of which she has done. But like everyone including the judge had said...Im at fault for having let her. YES. Me. I should a, could a, slammed her back then but I was stupid and lowered myself to almost her level. And she used that...Its funny how it only is and is going to hurt our son in the long run. What was between her and I is just that HER and I. But she thinks bringing my son into this is beneficiary...See many years ago Jenny had an abortion, with a baby I think she got from the very same person she is dating now. And she thinks this idiot sorry excuse can tell me how to raise my son or anything even close to it...Im a good father. Have a 100+ people whod back me up on this also...Not with someone elses kid, not because the person Im screwing says so. But because I did and have proved it...Her boyfriend, sure hell take care of someone elses kid who someone else is paying for took care of as a baby, but wouldnt and hasnt done that on his own for sure. Jenny takes credit for anything good. Nothing bad. Refuses to listen or think she has to listen to anyone but herself on anything concerning OUR child. And so far to my count hasnt done a single 1 thing pre ahead of time except hearing since hes a boy he should start school a year later....thats it. Anyways my son will see the light. YES it may be after they have messed him up but he is more a part of me than her being the boy...And thankfully will never be a part of her as*hole boyfriend no matter how much he just wish he had one of his own...But hey when your more concerned about shooting a gun around someone elses four year old rather than being a real man and having your own. What can anyone expect...?

Child each parent should recognize and address a childs basic needs: 1. To know that the parents decision to live apart is not the childs fault. 2. To develop and maintain an independent relationship with each parent and to have the Continuing care and guidance from each parent. 3. To be free from having to side with either parent and to be free from conflict between The parents. 4. To have a relaxed, secure relationship with each parent without being placed in a Position to manipulate one parent against the other. 5. To enjoy regular and consistent time with each parent. 6. To be financially supported by each parent, regardless of how much time each parent Spends with the child. 7. To be physically safe and adequately supervised when in the care of each parent and to Have a stable, consistent and responsible child care arrangement when not supervised by a Parent. 8. To develop and maintain meaningful relationships with other significant adults (Grandparents, stepparents and other relatives) as long as these relationships do not Interfere with or replace the childs primary relationship with the parents. 4

Parenting Time "Guidelines"...Not parenting time "written in stone".

Childs best interest to have frequent, meaningful and continuing contact with each parent. A child whose parents live apart has special needs related to the parent-child relationship. Parents should consider these needs as they negotiate parenting time. They should be flexible and create a parenting time agreement which addresses the unique needs of the child and their circumstances. The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines are designed to assist parents and courts in the development of plans and represent

the minimum time a parent should have to maintain frequent, meaningful, and continuing
contact with a child. Minimum Time Concept. The concept that these Guidelines represent the minimum time a non-custodial parent should spend with a child should not be interpreted as a limitation of time imposed by the court. They are not meant to foreclose the parents from agreeing to, or the court from granting, such additional or reduced parenting time as may be reasonable in any given case. In addressing all parenting time issues, both parents should exercise sensibility, flexibility and reasonableness. A CHILDS BASIC NEEDS To insure more responsible parenting and to promote the healthy adjustment and growth of a Child each parent should recognize and address a childs basic needs: 1. To know that the parents decision to live apart is not the childs fault. 2. To develop and maintain an independent relationship with each parent and to have the Continuing care and guidance from each parent. 3. To be free from having to side with either parent and to be free from conflict between the Parents. 4. To have a relaxed, secure relationship with each parent without being placed in a position to Manipulate one parent against the other. 5. To enjoy regular and consistent time with each parent. 6. To be financially supported by each parent, regardless of how much time each parent spends With the child. 7. To be physically safe and adequately supervised when in the care of each parent and to have A stable, consistent and responsible child care arrangement when not supervised by a parent. 8. To develop and maintain meaningful relationships with other significant adults (grandparents, Stepparents and other relatives) as long as these relationships do not interfere with

or replace the childs primary relationship with the parents.

A child and a parent shall be entitled to private communications without interference from the other parent. A child shall never be used by one parent to spy or report on the other. Each parent shall encourage the child to respect and love the other parent. Parents shall at all Times avoid speaking negatively about each other in or near the presence of the child, and they

shall firmly discourage such conduct by relatives or friends. 3. with a Child by Telephone. Both parents shall have reasonable phone access to their Child at all times. Telephone communication with the child by either parent to the residence where the child is located shall be conducted at reasonable hours, shall be of reasonable duration, and at reasonable intervals, without interference from the other parent. Examples of unacceptable interference with communication include a parent refusing to Answer a phone or refusing to allow the child or others to answer; a parent recording Phone conversations between the other parent and the child; turning off the phone or Using a call blocking mechanism or otherwise denying the other parent telephone contact With the child. Parents should exercise reasonable judgment in their dealings with each Other and with their child. Parents should be flexible in scheduling parenting time and should consider the benefits to the child of frequent, meaningful and regular contact with each parent and the schedules of the child and each parent. EXCHANGE OF INFORMATION Commentary A child may suffer inconvenience, embarrassment, and physical or emotional harm When parents fail to actively obtain and share information. Parents should take the Initiative to obtain information about their child from the various providers of Services. 1. School Records. Each parent shall promptly provide the other with copies of a childs Grade reports and notices from school as they are received. A parent shall not interfere with the right of the other parent to communicate directly with school personnel concerning a child. Commentary Under Indiana law, both parents are entitled to direct access to their childs school records, Indiana Code 20-10.1-22-4.2. 2. School Activities. Each parent shall promptly notify the other parent of all school Activities. A parent shall not interfere with the right of the other parent to communicate directly with school personnel concerning a childs school activities. The parent exercising parenting time shall be responsible to transport the child to school related activities. Commentary The opportunity for a child to attend a school function should not be denied solely Because a parent is not able to attend the function. In such instance, the child should Be permitted to attend the function with the available parent. Scheduled parenting Time should not be used as an excuse to deny the childs participation in school related Activities, including practices and rehearsals. 3. Other Activities. Each parent shall promptly notify the other parent of all organized Events in a childs life which permit parental and family participation. A parent shall not interfere with the opportunity of the other parent to volunteer for or participate in a childs activities. Health Information. If a child is undergoing evaluation or treatment, the custodial parent Shall communicate that fact to the non-custodial parent. Each parent shall immediately notify the other of any medical emergencies or illness of the child that requires medical attention. If a child is taking prescription or nonprescription medication, the custodial parent shall

Provide the noncustodial parent with a sufficient amount of medication with instructions whenever the noncustodial parent is exercising parenting time. The custodial parent shall give written authorization to the childs health care providers, Permitting an ongoing release of all information regarding the child to the non-custodial parent including the right of the provider to discuss the childs situation with the non-custodial parent. Commentary Each parent has the responsibility to become informed and participate in ongoing Therapies and treatments prescribed for a child and to ensure that medications are Administered as prescribed. An evaluation or treatment for a child includes medical, Dental, educational, and mental health services. Under Indiana law, both parents are entitled to direct access to their childs medical Records, Indiana Code 16-39-1-7; and mental health records, Indiana Code 16-392-9. 4. Insurance. A parent who has insurance coverage on the child shall supply the other Parent with current insurance cards, an explanation of benefits, and a list of insurer-approved or HMO qualified health care providers in the area where each parent lives. If the insurance company requires specific forms, the insured parent shall provide those forms to the other parent. Commentary Qualified health care orders may permit the parent to communicate with the medical health care insurance provider. Parents should inquire why a child is reluctant to spend time with a parent. If a Parent believes that a childs safety is compromised in the care of the other parent, That parent should take steps to protect the child, but must recognize the rights of the Other parent. This situation must be promptly resolved by both parents. Family Counseling may be appropriate. If the parents cannot resolve the situation, either Parent may seek the assistance of the court. Enforcement of Parenting Time A. Contempt Sanctions. Court orders regarding parenting time must be followed by both Parents. Unjustified violations of any of the provisions contained in the order may subject the offender to contempt sanctions. These sanctions may include fine, imprisonment, and/or community service. B. Injunction Relief. Under Indiana law, a noncustodial parent who regularly pays Support and is barred from parenting time by the custodial parent may file an application for an injunction to enforce parenting time under Ind. Code 31-17-4-4. C. Criminal Penalties. Interference with custody or visitation rights may be a crime. Ind. Code 35-42-3-4. D. Attorney Fees. In any court action to enforce an order granting or denying parenting Time, a court may award reasonable attorney fees and expenses of litigation. A court may consider whether the parent seeking attorney fees substantially prevailed and whether the parent violating the order did so knowingly or intentionally. A court can also award attorney fees and expenses against a parent who pursues a frivolous or vexatious court action. (C) Child 5 Years of Age and Older. For a child 5 years of age and older, seven (7) Weeks of the school summer vacation period and seven (7) days of the school winter Vacation plus the entire spring break, including both weekends if applicable. Such

Parenting time, however, shall be arranged so that the custodial parent shall have Religious holidays, if celebrated, in alternate years. 3. Priority of Summer Visitation. Summer parenting time with the non-custodial parent Shall take precedence over summer activities (such as Little League) when parenting time cannot be reasonably scheduled around such events. Under such circumstances, the non-custodial parent shall attempt to enroll the child in a similar activity in his or her community. 4. Extended Parenting Time Notice. The noncustodial parent shall give notice to the Special Notice of Availability. When the non-custodial parent is in the area where the Child resides, or when the child is in the area where the non-custodial parent resides, liberal parenting time shall be allowed. The parents shall provide notice to each other, as far in advance as possible, of such parenting opportunities.
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RELATED INFORMATION What is Interaction? Visitation is what often comes to mind when people talk about interaction between the parents, Guardian, or custodian and the child; however, visitation is only one (1) component of Interaction. Interaction can be many things (e.g., phone calls, emails, letters; an exchange of Meaningful items like drawings, photographs and gifts; etc.). These other forms of interaction Take on increased significance if face-to-face contact is not regular or consistent. What is Involvement? The affect of a parent, guardian, or custodian's involvement in his or her child's life is very Critical to the well-being of a child during an out-of-home placement. Examples of involvement include making important decisions about the childs: 1. Health care; 2. Education; 3. Extracurricular activities; 4. Hair length and styles; 5. Attendance at medical appointments; 6. School case conferences; and 7. Participation in CFT Meetings. A parent who is not allowed any interaction with his or her child (e.g., no visits, no phone calls, No letters) may still be involved through one (1) or more of the examples given above. The Visitation Plan provides parameters for visitation between the child and his or her parent(s), guardian, or custodian, sibling(s), family members, and other individuals with whom the child has formed significant relationships. All Visitation Plans will have the following: 1. Goal of reestablishing, maintaining, and/or strengthening the bond that exists between the child and his or her family; 2. Face-to-face contact with the parent, guardian, or custodian at least once per week and at least twice per week if the child is an infant (age 0-1) or toddler (age 1-2); unless the court has ordered otherwise; 3. Face-to-face contact with the childs siblings at least once per week; and 4. Face-to-face contact with other adults with whom the child has a positive, significant relationship as long as deemed appropriate, and does not negatively affect the child. This should not interfere with or disrupt the regular visitation of the parent, guardian, or custodian. Note: All Visitation Plans must include alternative forms of contact (e.g., phone calls, cards, letters, photographs, recordings, etc.) to supplement face-to-face visits. If the court has ordered no face-to-face contact between the child and his or her parent, guardian, or

custodian, alternative forms of contact may be requested, if appropriate to maintain and develop the parent-child bond. See separate policies, 8.11 Parental Interaction and Involvement and 8.13 implementing the Visitation Plan. Importance of Maintaining Parent, Guardian, or Custodian Contact Children have the fundamental right to visit with their parents. Ideally, the relationship developed between a parent and child is one of bonding, healthy dependency, and nurturing.

DCS CW Manual/Chapter 8 Section 12: Developing the Visitation Plan 3 of 4

Each of these elements of the parent-child relationship is important for the emotional well-being of the child. Regular visits and contact will help the child not to feel abandoned by his or her parent, guardian, or custodian. Fathers model behavior and social survival skills Every father, whether he knows it or not, provides an example of how to deal with life, how to dress, how to blend personal closeness and distance, and the importance of achievement and productivity (Vogt & Sirridge, 1991, p. 119). Fathers also model devotion to something higher and greater than one self (Vogt & Sirridge, p. 123). Studies show that positive paternal involvement, for boys and girls, is closely associated with a lower incidence of disruptive behavior, more responsible behavior, and thus more pro-social, positive moral behavior overall (Mosley & Thompson as cited in Pruett, 2000, p. 52). Positive father-child relationships enhance childrens emotional development He taught me moral valuesbasically, you work and be honestthere was six of us kids and we lived in a four bedroom house. And as I look back now I often wonder how he did it, because we never did go hungry. Early Head Start father, (Raikes, Mellgren, McAllister, Pan, & Summers, 1999). Biller and Radin have observed that, child development is positively affected in measurable ways by (1) the fathers warmth, even when hes not especially involved, (2) his masculinity alone, and (3) his different-from-mother socialization and relationship behavior (as cited in Pruett, 2000, p. 38). Furstenberg and Harris found that, Children who feel a closeness to their father are twice as likely as those who do not to enter college or find stable employment after high school, 75 percent less likely to have a teen birth, 80 percent less likely to spend time in jail, and half as likely to experience multiple depression symptoms (as cited in Pruett, p. 38). Studies show that highly-involved fathers often produce children with increased cognitive competence, increased empathy, less sex-stereotyped beliefs, and a more internal locus of control (Radin as cited in Pruett, pp. 43-44, 48-49, 72). Moreover, the strongest predictor of a childs feelings of empathic concern for others in adult life is a high level of paternal child care (Koestner, Franz, & Weinberger as cited in Pruett, p. 48). Legal fathers, such as [d]divorced fathers with joint legal custody have the right to make decisions about their childrens lives, regardless of where the children live (Seltzer as cited in Tamis-LeMonda and Cabrera, p. 4). In contrast, stepfathers who live with their stepchildren but have not adopted them, or unmarried fathers who have not established paternity, have no legal status regarding the children. No matter how one defines fatherhood, Nord and Zill (1996b) point out that, Children seem to desire a continuing relationship with their fathersThere is some evidence that the perceived emotional bond that children feel for their parents is more predictive of well-being than actual contact (Amato, 1994b). For these reasons, even if studies show no positive benefit of paternal participation on childrens well-being, the childrens expressed wishes to see their fathers should

not be taken lightly BEST INTEREST of the Child Standard: The judge looks at best interest factors (750 ILCS 5/602) to decide custody and visitation arrangements. Best Interest of Child. (a) The court shall determine custody in accordance with the best interest of the child. The court shall consider all relevant factors including: (1) The wishes of the childs parent or parents as to his custody; (2) The wishes of the child as to his custodian; (3) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with his parent or parents, his siblings and any other person who may significantly affect the childs best interest; (4) The childs adjustment to his home, school and community; (5) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved; (6) The physical violence or threat of physical violence by the childs potential custodian, whether directed against the child or directed against another person; (7) the occurrence of ongoing abuse as defined in Section 103 of the Illinois Domestic Violence Act of 1986, whether directed against the child or directed against another person; and (8) The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the other parent and the child.

Which parent? - is more likely to encourage visitation? - is more respectful toward the other parent? - will maintain greater continuity of contact with friends, relatives, neighborhood and school? - relates better with children and provides more productive support, stimulation and guidance? - is the more effective disciplinarian? - is more likely to be mature and responsible in children's upbringing? - is less likely to discuss with the children the failure of the marriage? - is more able to provide an emotionally secure role model? - is more resourceful in getting help? - is more flexible and adaptable? - has more time to devote to the children? - has shown greater interest in the children and their activities?

- uses more "quality time" with the children? RESPONSIBILITIES OF JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY 7. Each of the parents shall make every effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact Between the child and the other parent. Each of the parents is prohibited from making derogatory or demeaning statements concerning the other parent within the hearing of the child. Neither parent shall do anything which will estrange the child from the other parent or impair the natural development of the child's love and respect for each of the parents. Both parents need to understand that parenting requires the acceptance of mutual rights and responsibilities in so far as the child is concerned. 8. The parties shall consult and cooperate with each other in substantial questions relating to religious upbringing, educational programs, significant changes in social environment, and health care of the child. Before the parties separated, they agreed that the child should be raised as a Roman Catholic and attend worship services. 9. All schools, health care providers, day care providers, and counselors shall be selected by the parents jointly. In the event that the parents cannot agree to the selection of a school, the child shall attend the local public school pending mediation and/or further order of the court. 10. Each parent is authorized to obtain emergency health care of the child without the consent of the other parent. 11. Each parent is responsible for keeping advised of school, athletic, and social events in which the participates. Both parents may participate in school activities for the child such as open houses, attendance at athletic events, etc. 12. Each parent shall provide the other parent promptly with information concerning the well-being of the child where the other parent is not likely to know of the information without prior or special knowledge or through discovery by routine inquiry. This information includes, but is not limited to: results of standardized or diagnostic tests; notices of activities involving the child; samples of school work; all communication from health care providers, regular day care providers, and counselors. 13. Each parent shall provide the other parent with the address and telephone number at which the minor child resides, and shall notify the other parent within five days of any changes of address or telephone Number. Each parent shall notify the other parent as soon as reasonably possible of any serious illness requiring medical attention, or any serious emergency involving the child. 14. Each parent shall provide the other parent with a travel itinerary and, whenever reasonably possible, telephone numbers which the child can be reached, whenever the child will be away from the parent's home for a period of seven (7) days or more. 15. Each parent is entitled to reasonable telephonic communication with the child. Each parent is restrained from unreasonably interfering with the child's right to privacy during such telephone conversations. Parent-initiated calls shall be made at the calling party's expense. The child has the right to initiate phone calls to the other parent for which the expense shall be borne by the receiving party.

Criteria 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Best Interest of Child Must Show Harm Prior Grandparent/Grandchild Relationship Effect on Parent/Child Relationship Any Marital Status of Parents Parents are Deceased, Divorced and/or Unmarried.

rights have been recognized as being "essential to the orderly! Pursuit of happiness by free man." Meyer v. Nebraska, 262 U.S. 390; 43 S Ct 625 (1923). The U.S. Supreme Court implied that "a (once) married father who is separated or divorced from a mother and is no longer living with his child" could not constitutionally be treated differently from a currently married father living with his child. Quilloin v. Walcott, 98 S Ct 549; 434 US 246, 255-56, (1978). The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit (California) held that the parent-child relationship is a constitutionally protected liberty interest. (See; Declaration of Independence --life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and the 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution -- No state can deprive any person of life, liberty or property without due process of law nor deny any person the equal protection of the laws.) Kelson v. Springfield, 767 F 2d 651; US Ct App 9th ! Cir, (1985). The parent-child relationship is a liberty interest protected by the Due Process Clause of the 14th Amendment. Bell v. City of Milwaukee, 746 f 2d 1205, 1242-45; US Ct App 7th Cir WI, (1985). No bond is more precious and none should be more zealously protected by the law as the bond between parent and child." Carson v. Elrod, 411 F Supp 645, 649; DC E.D. VA (1976). A parent's right to the preservation of his relationship with his child derives from the fact that the parent's achievement of a rich and rewarding life is likely to depend significantly on his ability to participate in the rearing of his children. A child's corresponding right to protection from interference in the relationship derives from the psychic importance to him of being raised by a loving, responsible, reliable adult. Franz v. U.S., 707 F 2d 582, 595-599; US Ct App (1983). A parent's right to the custody of his or her children is an element of "liberty" guaranteed by the 5th Amendment and t! he 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution. Matter of Gentry, 369 NW 2d 889, MI App Div (1983). Reality of private biases and possible injury they might inflict were impermissible considerations under the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment. Palmore v. Sidoti, ; 466 US 429, 104 S Ct 1879 (1984). Legislative classifications which distributes benefits and burdens on the basis of gender carry the inherent risk of reinforcing stereotypes about the proper place of women and their need for special protection; thus, even statutes purportedly designed to compensate for and ameliorate the effects of past discrimination against women must be carefully tailored. The state cannot be permitted to classify on the basis of sex. Orr v. Orr, 440 US 268, 99 S Ct 1102 (1979). The United States Supreme Court held that the "old notion" that "generally it! Is the man's primary responsibility to provide a home and its essentials" can no longer justify a statute that discriminates on the basis of gender.

Which this Court has considered the extent to which the Constitution affords protection to the relationship between natural parents and children born out of wedlock. In some we have been concerned with the rights of the children, see, e. g., Trimble v. Gordon, 430 U.S. 762 (1977); Jimenez v. Weinberger, 417 U.S. 628 (1974); Weber v. Aetna Casualty & Surety Co., 406 U.S. 164 (1972). In this case, however, it is a parent who claims that the State has improperly deprived him of a protected interest in liberty. This Court has examined the extent to which a natural father's biological relationship with his child receives protection under the Due Process Clause in precisely three cases: Stanley v. Illinois, 405 U.S. 645 (1972), Quilloin v. Walcott, 434 U.S. 246 (1978), and Caban v. Mohammed, 441 U.S. 380 (1979), "The significance of the biological connection is that it offers the natural father an opportunity that no other male possesses to develop a relationship with his offspring. If he grasps that opportunity and accepts some measure of responsibility for the child's future, he may enjoy the blessings of the parent-child relationship and make uniquely valuable contributions to the child's development. If he fails to do so, the Federal Constitution will not automatically compel a State to listen to his opinion of where the child's best interests lie." rovides that no State shall deprive any person of life, liberty, or property without due process of law. When that Clause is invoked in a novel context, it is our practice to begin the inquiry with a determination of the precise nature of the private interest that is threatened by the State. We therefore first consider the nature of the interest in liberty for which appellant claims constitutional protection and then turn to a discussion of the adequacy of the procedure that New York has provided for its protection." "The intangible fibers that connect parent and child have infinite variety. They are woven throughout the fabric of our society, providing it with strength, beauty, and flexibility. It is selfevident that they are sufficiently vital to merit constitutional protection in appropriate cases. In deciding whether this is such a case, however, we must consider the broad framework that has traditionally been used to resolve the legal problems arising from the parent-child relationship" "When an unwed father demonstrates a full commitment to the responsibilities of parenthood by "com[ing]

forward to participate in the rearing of his child," Caban, 441 U.S., at 392 , his interest in personal contact with his child acquires substantial protection under the Due Process Clause. At that point it may be said that he "act[s] as a father toward his children." Id., at 389, n. 7. But the mere existence of a biological link does not merit equivalent constitutional protection. The actions of judges neither create nor sever genetic bonds. "[T]he importance of the familial relationship, to the individuals involved and to the society, stems from the emotional attachments that derive from the intimacy of daily association, and from the role it plays in `promot[ing] a way of life' through the instruction of children . . . as well as from the fact of blood relationship." Smith v. Organization of Foster Families for Equality and Reform, TROXEL V. GRANVILLE (99-138) 530 U.S. 57 (2000), 137 Wash. 2d 1, 969 P.2d 21, affirmed. "The ... Court intervened, but that when it did so, it gave no special weight to determination of HER daughters' best interests." "It placed the burden of disproving that visitation would be in her daughters' best interest and thus failed to provide any protection for her fundamental right." "These factors, when considered with the ... Court's slender findings, show that this case involves nothing more than a simple disagreement between the court and Granville concerning her children's best interests, and that the visitation order was an unconstitutional infringement on Granville' (the Parent's) right to make decisions regarding the rearing of her children. Pp. 8 14." (99-138) 530 U.S. 57 (2000) 137 Wash. 2d 1, 969 P.2d 21, affirmed. "Justice Thomas agreed that this (US Supreme) Court's recognition of a fundamental right of parents to direct their children's upbringing resolves this case, but concluded that strict scrutiny is the appropriate standard of review to apply to infringements of fundamental rights. Here, the State lacks a compelling interest in second-guessing a fit parent's decision"
TROXEL V. GRANVILLE

. The development of a parenting plan based on clear and rigorously upheld principles of equality; 2. Equality of physical time for the child to be with each parent (unless agreed upon otherwise by the parents in writing); 3. Equality of responsibilities in general for each parent; 4. Equality of responsibilities respecting immediate issues such as health emergencies/conditions for each parent when the child is with them; 5. equality in decision making for the childs best interests such as general health issues, education, spirituality, cultural issues, recreation, etc., including complete and full equal access to receipt of all medical, educational, and other records and information of any type

to both parents; 6. equality of overall physical time for the child with each parent (subject to restrictions based on criminal abuse of the child), including makeup time over the course of the childs time from birth to age 12 (children at age 12 should be able to decide where and when they want to live with a given parent); if the child has been with one parent for 80% of the time over the course of one year or set of some years, for example, the child shall have the legislated right to be with their other parent for 80% of the time for the next year or set of some years (unless the parents agree by documentation otherwise); 7. Equality of child protection measures respecting the childs well-being and the ability for one parent to make application before the court in the case of possible criminal child abuse, and possible subsequent supervised access to the child if warranted; 8. equality of parental protection measures respecting each parents well-being and the ability of both parents to have the principle of Innocent Until Proven Guilty firmly and consistently upheld in both the policing and court processes, including the judicious and appropriate use of forensic psychophysiology (polygraph) examinations (see Dr. James A. Matte www.mattepolygraph.com ); 9. The capacity for parents to work out their own Shared Parenting plan by themselves if they are able, which does not necessarily need to include an exact 50/50 time plan; 10. the capacity for parents, through either government funded or by cost recovery government programming, to have access to trained mediators to work out their differences and develop a Shared Parenting plan; 11. the capacity for parents, through either government funded or by cost recovery government programming, to have access to trained arbitrators to work out their differences and develop a Shared Parenting plan to be finalized by the arbitrator in accordance with equal Shared Parenting legislation; 12. the freedom of parents to not be required to pay the exorbitant rates (thereby undermining the standard of living of the children) which family law lawyers charge to mediate, arbitrate or bring before the courts any dispute with the sole exception of criminal child abuse; this should include mandatory mediation and arbitration programs if parents cannot come to an agreement within a voluntary mediation or arbitration framework on their parenting issues; 13. the freedom of each parent to be able to equally parent their own children even if there has been proven criminal abuse of one parent by the other, as this is not grounds to remove the child from the other parent; that parent who has been found guilty as charged shall have the right to all the current levels of court appeal, including the use of forensic psychophysiology examinations to prove their innocence if they claim innocence; a person found guilty of criminal violence through all the courts of appeal should be required to undertake their sentence as set out by the courts, but they should not be forced to have their child removed from them (or visits denied) except in those rare cases of murder, attempted murder, and repeated aggravated physical assault (basically as a dangerous offender); 14. The capacity for mothers to have the necessary physical time with an infant if they are breastfeeding, but nothing approaching a complete exclusion of that infants time with the father; 15. A total ban of ex parte (only one parent appearing) applications to the courts or to any mediation or arbitration hearings for anything to do with parenting, unless very substantive efforts to locate a parent over the course of 1 year have passed; 16. protection to parents against the other parent abducting or kidnapping a child and removing it from more than 10 miles from where the parents last were living together with their child and refusing to let the other parent have equal parenting rights in all respects; in situations where breakups occur where the parents were living on a farm or ranch, the parent who moves away from the farm/ranch shall not be permitted to move beyond the closest town or beyond the town where the child was going to school unless they are willing

to forgo custody of the child or unless there is a written agreement between both parents (subject to the provisions outlined in number 17 below); this includes adequate provisions respecting the Minister of Foreign Affairs and the Passport Office to continue to examine ways to improve the identification of minor children in travel documents and consider further the advisability of requiring that all children be issued individual passports; 17. requirement for the parents to both remain living within 10 miles of where the parents last were living together with their child, unless one parent wishes to move who will then be required to forego primary physical parenting rights and responsibilities for the child but not all rights, unless both parents agree in writing to a change of living location for both parents; a parent who wishes to move outside of the 10 mile radius should still have the right to be with their child for their (approximately) 4 to 5 weeks vacation (either at the location where the child is living or where that parent has moved to, or elsewhere), and to access to their child for a reasonable time (a full weekend for example) whenever they wish to come back and be with their child; if the parent who moved away wishes to move back to the location where their child is living, they should have the right to equalized Shared Parenting time; 18. that parents have access to parenting and relationship education and counseling prior, during, and after a breakup which will assist them to remain together or to assist them in their parenting capacities regardless of their marital or relationship status; 19. No reference to be made to nor considered regarding the tender years doctrine in any respect to parenting; 20. No parent should be required by law, as they are not now when the parents are living and parenting together, to provide financial support for education beyond the secondary school system (i.e., beyond grade 12); 21. the relationships of grandparents, siblings and other extended family members with children be recognized as significant and that provisions for maintaining and fostering such relationships be included in parenting plans; 22. Establishment of both therapeutic and punitive measures for parents who do not abide by the parenting plan; 23. The establishment of a national computerized registry of Shared Parenting plans; 24. Provision for children of separated/divorced parents to access counseling where this may be needed; 25. The need for criminal sanctions to be directly and forcefully applied to those individuals who have engaged in deliberate false allegations and in other deception regarding parenting issues; 26. fair and appropriate measures for property division which shall strictly adhere to the principle that after breakup each parent shall receive financially what they brought into the relationship and what they put into the relationship, including factoring in those intangible variables such as a circumstance where one parent was a full-time caregiver and homemaker, under which conditions that parent shall be entitled to receive financial return at the equivalent of one half the equity/savings (but not income) earned by the other parent for the time period when the two parents were living together (but they shall not be entitled to anything which the other parent had earned in equity or savings prior to their livetogether relationship); and, 27. Fair and appropriate measures respecting child support (see below).

Descriptions that are commonly used to describe severe cases of PAS are that the alienating parent is unable to "individuate" (a psychological term

used when the person is unable to see the child as a separate human being from him or herself). They are often described as being "overly involved with the child" or "enmeshed". The parent may be diagnosed as narcissistic (self-centered), where they presume that they have a special entitlement to whatever they want. They think that there are rules in life, but only for other people, not for them.

A PAS mother can't imagine that the father is capable of planning the child's time while in his care. Therefore, she arranges several things for the child to do while at the father's house. One of the most common ways of doing this is to sign the child up for on-going lessons without permission from the father. The parent may even decree whom the child can and cannot see, particularly specific members of the child's extended family on the father's side. The mother desperately wants control over the time when the child isn't with her.

The alienating parent's hatred can have no bounds. The severest form will bring out every horrible allegation known, including claims of domestic violence, stalking and the sexual molestation of the child. Many fathers say that there have been repeated calls to the Department of Family and Child Services alleging child abuse and neglect. In most cases the investigators report that they found nothing wrong. However, the indoctrinating parent feels that these reports are not fabrications, but very, very real. She can describe the horror of what

happen in great detail. Regardless of the actual truth, in her mind, it did happen. Most of the alienated fathers that I work with are continually befuddled by her lying. "How can she lie like that?" They don't realize that these lies are not based on rational thinking. They are incapable of understanding the difference between what is true and what they want to be true. A vital part of fighting PAS is to understand the severity of the psychological disturbance that is the source of it. Regularly calls the police to report the father for abuse. Presently, the daughter resides with her father, receives weekly therapy and hates the police. She gradually understands how disturbed her mother is. In the former case, where the mother was kidnapping the children, she now sees them two hours a month at the Department of Children's Services with a social worker present to monitor everything that she says and does. The girls have also been in extensive therapy and are doing well. Since this is among the most severe kinds of abuse of a child's emotions, there will be scars and lost opportunities for normal development. The child is at risk of growing up and being an alienator also, since the alienating parent has been the primary role model.

Child and directing the childs education and upbringing survives a divorce decree. Franz v. United States, 707 F.2d 582, 594-95 (D.C. Cir. 1983). In Franz, a non-custodial father lost contact with his children when they went into the witness protection program with their mother and step-father. In response to the fathers claim of a substantive due process

right to maintain a relationship with his children, the court observed that while the right is acknowledged to be potent, it might be argued that it is less formidable when asserted by a non-custodial parent one who retains and regularly exercises visitation rights but who participates little in the day-to-day care and nurturing of his children. Id. at 595. The court then rejected this argument, concluding that the bulk of the pertinent precedent seems to suggest that we should not differentiate between custodial and non-custodial contexts when deciding what protections are constitutionally due a parent-child relationship. Id. at 595-96 (collecting cases). The court also conducted an extensive analysis focusing on the importance of parent-child relations in our culture, the social functions served by shielding such relations, and 16 the profound importance of the parent-child bond to the emotional life of both. Id. at 597-602. It concluded that the non-custodial fathers interests were in critical respects comparable.
"The greatest benefit a court can bestow upon children is to insure that they shall not only retain the love of both parents but shall at all time and constantly be deeply imbued with love and respect for both parents." Smith v. Smith, 205 A.2d 83 (New Jersey, 1964) WHAT YOU MUST KNOW (DETAILED INSIDE) 1. It has been scientifically proven that shared parenting (with near equal time with each parent) is far superior in nearly all respects for our children when compared to sole physical custody and visitation. By many measures, it is even 20 times better for children. 2. State divorce court judges act unconstitutionally when they award unequal custody to mothers every day. This is literally a crime by judges under the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. 3. Judges assign custody in exactly the reverse order of what is best for children due to sexist traditions, conflicts of interest, and financial incentives through child support collection and federal kickbacks. The government actually has created many incentives to separate fathers from their children. 4. Eighty-six percent of Massachusettss voters have voted For shared parenting all districts polled. Yet it is not already law due to this corrupt, moneymaking system where lawyers want to collect 40% of your estate in legal fees before your divorce is final and minority extreme feminist groups have worked for decades to strip men of their rights using domestic violence as the excuse. The DV tail is now wagging the divorce dog! 5. Child support is actually child extortion and alimony. It is often four to five times the actual cost of raising a child and is nothing but ransom that fathers are forced to pay, under threat of jail, by the kidnapper of their children to their ex-wife. States make a PROFIT on this! 6. A typical lawyer will not represent men well because most are unethical, ignorant and/or afraid to challenge the judge they are beholden to for their income.

7. Impossible orders are illegal orders. Many orders issued by judges are void with no legal effect or force because judges ignore proper due process in family courts. Judges are liable for damages whenever they act without jurisdiction or due process. Know your rights. 8. The constitution of the United States and federal law overrule any state statutes, and we have illegal state statutes and practices. His life and changed into nothing other than a visitor. Deadbeat dads are really beat-dead dads while many mothers become malicious And vengeful, coveting the children and assets, and even alienating the children from Their own loving father. The courts do not see this because men (judges) naturally Protect women and women cry victim. Judges are still living in the 1950s. Obsolete Traditions overrule common sense, fairness, and real scientific proof now available that Says shared parenting is best for children. About 300 fathers of divorce silently commit Suicide every month as a result of the overwhelming pain, pressure, and prejudice. Hundreds of thousands of fathers, second wives, and grandparents are uniting across The United States (and the world) to fight the tyranny that is our family court system. Millions of fathers, and even some mothers, are fed up with these sexist and out-of touch Judges who abuse their power and the complicit and unethical lawyers who profit From this intentionally unfair system. There is a conspiracy of silence to protect this Evil money machine that is damaging generations of children.

Shared parenting has been Scientifically proven to be, by far, the best situation for children of divorce! Not better by 20% or 50% but by a factor of 20 or more by many measures (see appendix). Anyone who says otherwise is either a liar or totally ignorant of the facts. Unless your children have near-equal exposure to both their father And mother, they will have huge problems. A step-parent is no substitute for You (read Father and Child Reunion by Dr. Warren Farrell which compiled Over 200 of the best studies). 12. Men cannot win custody, or even get equal time with their children, Without showing that a wife is totally unfit. This is clear Discrimination based on sex and is illegal under the highest laws. This Seems to require proof of massive abuse of the children or drugs. We must Change the system with shared parenting, which has been scientifically Proven best for children (and equal visitation) as the first step. Every child Has a right to their biological father and every father has the equal right to Raise their children. Mothers often covet children due to fear of economic loss, low self-esteem,

And for malicious revenge. They see the children as their Economic security and deny fathers custody to get large amounts of child Support. Today this child extortion often amounts to four or five times the Actual cost of raising the child and has become ex-wife welfare or politically Correct alimony. It encourages mothers to be unproductive and live off their Ex-husband. Generally, mothers can have a much higher standard of living Working very little and fathers are often placed in poverty by current child Support levels. 17. When Shared Parenting is implemented, much of the bureaucracy, Child support collections, and many divorce attorneys will go away! There will be far fewer custody battles because more parents will share Children equally, greatly reducing the need for child support payments that Put one parent in poverty for the benefit of the other. Therefore the only People you find resisting shared parenting are lawyers, judges and radical Feminists who want unequal rights. Today men are guilty of domestic violence until proven innocent due To decades of propaganda by minority radical feminist groups. They have Created mass hysteria and have institutionalized this in law enforcement, Courts and the media with government funded training programs. Often Statistics are exaggerated by a factor of 100 or more by these people with a Self-interest in growing the divorce and domestic violence industry and Stripping men of their natural and constitutional right. 28. Think about getting a restraining order against her first if there are Sufficient grounds. Although men do not generally think this way (as a Victim) there are certainly plenty of recent examples of predatory females in The news that killed their spouse and disposed of the body, etc. The domestic Violence INDUSTRY is a $25 billion for-profit monster that promotes victim Mentality to deny men their rights in favor of women. We already have laws Against assault and battery. Why should there be special one-sided laws for Sexist reasons? If she gets a restraining order first, you are immediately Suspect and at a disadvantage (as stupid as this is) and when you both have One they may cancel each other out a bit. 29. Many unscrupulous judges (not just family court judges) issue restraining orders illegally to any woman who says the word fear when nothing has ever happened or even been threatened. This takes only a 2-minute hearing (exparte = without you there). Most often these are both unconstitutional and against Massachusetts case law that requires the fear be reasonable and proven. Generally judges ignore these requirements. In Fact any spectral evidence, which is evidence that is only inside the mind of A person has been inadmissible in a court of law since the Salem Witch Trials. The fear card, played again and again in the media, is todays version of This mass hysteria. This is caused by a judges fear of the media and feminist backlash. They basically decide NOT to judge for their own self-interest, which Is a violation of their oath? 30. Lawyers admit (in private) that between 50% and 95% of restraining Orders should NOT have been issued. Massachusetts has issued as many As 40,000 in a single year while other states that respect peoples rights issue About 3% of this amount per capita. Lawyers love them because they cause More fighting and more legal fees at the outset and make it easy to keep the Parties apart so no settlement is reached.

31. Restraining orders have been abused for decades because politicians (Mostly lawyers also) get money and support from extreme feminists Groups, which get BILLIONS in federal funding through the Violence In the initial stages of divorce involving children, it is common Practice for lawyers to counsel the women to get a restraining order. This applies to ALL men, even to the vast majority of men who are nonviolent And with no history of ill-behavior, whatsoever. While interviewing Fathers, it seems as though lawyers follow a common template when Recommending what women should say in their filing and to the judge. Bottom line: If you are about to go to court for custody/visitation, plan your Defense ahead of time for you will very likely be served with a frivolous Restraining order before the court battles begin. From this point on, you will Fight an uphill battle for the remainder of your children's lives. It is generally economically impossible to win against your wife when She gets a restraining order throwing you out of the house PLUS child Support. When you are ordered to pay for the house she is living in (50% of Your take-home pay normally) plus 40% of your take-home pay (at 26% of Gross) for child support equals a total of 90% of your income going to your Soon to be ex-wife! You get 10% or $357 per month to live on if you make $50,000 per year. For every dollar you have for spending (before you pay for Housing) your wife has $4 (after her house is paid for by you). All wars are Wars of attrition of resources you must be pro se (something judges Despise). The state forces men to become criminals to survive. They must Hide income and earn under the table just to afford food. Judges do not care Some are on a power trip and crush men for the benefit of women under the Rationalization that this is in the best interest of the children and they are Heroes. They are CAUSING one of the largest problems of society today Fatherlessness (see appendix). 34. When a restraining order is issued, if you asked for the right to Question your wife and if this request was not allowed, then the Restraining order is null and void for lack of due process. It has no legal Effect or force and you cannot be legally prosecuted for violating it (see The burden of proof of voidness is on you though, So get that tape at the courthouse. Transcribe it and keep it in a safe place. Be prepared to place this into the record to prove the order is a void one. Tapes have been known to disappear and be doctored by the courts. 35. In any restraining order hearing for renewal, the plaintiff must make The entire case again from the very start and show the need for a Restraining order. Again, if due process has been denied, the order is null And void with no legal effect or force. A plaintiff seeking an initial domestic Abuse prevention order on the basis of abuse must show that he or she is Currently in fear of imminent serious physical harm, as well as that the fear is Reasonable, M.G.L.A. c. 209A, 1(b). Initial domestic abuse prevention Order expires unless extended after a judicial determination (essentially, a New finding) that the plaintiff continues to require protection from abuse. When a person seeks to prove abuse by "fear of imminent serious physical Harm, case law requires that the fear be reasonable. See Commonwealth v. Gordon, 407 Mass. 340, 349-350, 553 N.E.2d 915 (1990) From Iamele v. Asselin 444 Mass. 734. 36. A court lacks jurisdiction anytime it denies you the Bill of Rights or

Amendments, particularly Due Process. Any judges orders issued Under these conditions are VOID! In FACT many 209A's are invalid by Denial of Due Process evidentiary hearings. VOIDNESS is a very powerful tool, and certainly makes any judgment attackable when due process is denied, property taken, no cross exam of witnesses/accusers is permitted etc. Your lawyer will not argue this, as it requires the judge to do the right things that they avoid daily. You must argue it yourself! In other words, judges knowingly and repeatedly issue unlawful orders to save time and intimidate men. The emperors are wearing no clothes! 37. It is completely against the Fourteen amendment of the U.S. Constitution to discriminate based on sex, or create classes of people that are discriminated against, yet family courts create a class called non-custodial parent for this purpose. With immunity, these courts illegally strip parents (mostly fathers) of their natural, Godgiven, and constitutional right to parent their own children. 38. Women are statistically FOUR TIMES more likely to badmouth dad to the children (proven harmful to kids) yet judges believe the reverse and issue gag orders on men mainly believing in stereotype, not facts. 39. About 300 fathers of divorce commit suicide each month, 11 times as many as women. What does this say about our system? Forty percent of mothers reported they had refused visitation to their ex-husband to punish the father. Dont think this will not be you like you did when you heard 50% of people get divorced. Less than 20% of men have done this. Therefore, children are used as pawns twice as often by malicious mothers as they inflict their cruel revenge. This is just a small part of Parental Alienation Syndrome which hurts children enormously by denying them good fathers for the revenge or control motives of moms. 67. Parental Alienation has become epidemic. Research parental alienation and act appropriately at the first signs (refusing visits, asking the child if they want to see their father, scheduling fun activities during visitation time and making the child choose between the two are but three of many examples). If you don't, as so many fathers have not (or simply have done too late), don't be surprised when your child, who once rushed into your arms with glee, now refuses to see you saying they fear or hate you. 68. When shared parenting is implemented, the divorce rate drops within a few years. The state has created such an incentive for women to divorce with outlandish child support and terms that it is now actually creating the divorce market. All schools are now required to provide non-custodial parents separate copies and notifications of school records. This was not being done and was already against federal law when the federal government required Massachusetts to comply immediately. Write a letter to the school principal referencing: Mass. General Laws. Chapter 71 and demand your rights. The only excuse for not doing this is that there is a restraining order allegedly protecting your kids from you. See appendix for relevant text.