Achieve Your Goals-WORKLIFE

WORKLIFE
4RANSFORMTHEWAY
YOULIVEANDWORK
3TRATEGIESTOTRANSFORMYOURLIFE
$EVELOPYOURSKILLSREALISEYOURFULL
POTENTIALANDMAKEYOURLIFEWORK
Naat ta chaage the way yau live aad wark?
Fiad aut what yau waat, set yaur gaals
aad make them happea
Fractical techaiques, effective tips,

Eve-miaute Exes aad case studies
equip yau ta succeed ia the real warld
8et yaur gaals aad check yaur pragress

with self-assessmeat exercises
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ED245GoalsUK.indd 1 31/3/06 1:54:50 pm
001-005-ED245-AchieveGoals.indd 1 12/4/06 10:40:42 am
!CHIEVE
9OUR'OALS
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001-005-ED245-AchieveGoals.indd 2 12/4/06 10:42:53 am 2_ED245_US 2 31/7/06 4:51:34 pm
3TRATEGIESTO
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3_ED245_US 3 31/7/06 4:51:36 pm

1 It's Up to ou
144AKE2ESPONSIBILITY
18$EVELOP9OUR0ERSONAL
0OWER
22#LEAR9OUR)NNER#LUTTER
244HE0OWEROF9OUR
5NCONSCIOUS
30&OCUSON7HAT9OU7ANT
32
,OOKAT9OUR,IFE
!PPRECIATIVELY
38
$EVELOP9OUR3ELF
!WARENESS
2 ecide What's
Important
44,OOK!HEAD
46+NOW9OUR6ALUES
522ESOLVE6ALUES#ONmICTS
f||s /re||cau Ed||ou, 2007
lub||s|ed |u |e uu|ed 'aes b, 0K lub||s||u,
375 Fudsou '|ee, New Yo||, NY 10014
07 08 09 10 10 9 8 7 o 5 4 3 2 1
Cop,||| 200o 0o|||u K|ude|s|e, L|r|ed
!e cop,||| 200o /ud, 'r||
/|| |||s |ese|.ed uude| lue|ua|oua| aud lau/re||cau
Cop,||| Cou.eu|ous. No pa| o ||s pub||ca|ou ra,
be |ep|oduced, so|ed |u a |e||e.a| s,ser, o| |ausr|ed
|u au, o|r o| b, au, reaus, e|ec|ou|c, rec|au|ca|,
p|oocop,|u, |eco|d|u o| o|e|w|se, w||ou |e p||o|
w||eu pe|r|ss|ou o |e cop,||| owue|. lub||s|ed |u
C|ea 8||a|u b, 0o|||u K|ude|s|e, L|r|ed.
/ Caa|o|u|ulub||ca|ou |eco|d o| ||s boo| |s
a.a||ab|e |or |e L|b|a|, o Cou|ess.
l'8N 978075oo2o075
E0245
0K boo|s a|e a.a||ab|e a spec|a| d|scouus o| bu||
pu|c|ases o| sa|es p|oro|ous, p|er|urs, uud|a|s|u, o|
educa|oua| use. fo| dea||s, couac. 0K lub||s||u 'pec|a|
Va||es, 375 Fudsou '|ee, New Yo||, NY 10014 o|
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-5.)#(-%,"/52.%$%,()
l|oduced o| 0o|||u K|ude|s|e,
b, terry jeavons&company
l|ojec Ed|o| 'op||e Co|||us
l|ojec /| Ed|o| !e||, Iea.ous
0es|ue| /ud|ew V||ue
l|cu|e Resea|c|e| 'a|a| Foppe|
'eu|o| Ed|o| '|rou !u|e
'eu|o| /| Ed|o| 'a|a Rob|u
Ed|o| E||.abe| wasou
0!l 0es|ue| !|ac| 'a|e|
l|oduc|ou Cou|o||e| 'ua| Vas|ee|
Eecu|.e Vaua|u Ed|o| /de|e Fa,wa|d
Vaua|u /| Ed|o| Ka||a Ieuu|us
/| 0||eco| lee| Lu
lub||s|e| Co||uue Robe|s
'pec|a| l|oo|ap|, /d||au !u|ue|
#ONTENTS
US_001-005-Goals.indd 4 31/8/06 12:17:38 pm

CIear the 8Iocks
58$EFEAT,IMITING"ELIEFS
62$EALWITH0ROBLEMS
70$EALWITH/THER0EOPLE
72$EALWITH#RITICISM
Create the vision
ou Want
763ET9OUR'OALS
78-AKE'OAL3ETTING7ORK
82&INDA2OUTETO3UCCESSFUL
'OALS
900LACETHE'OAL)N9OUR
&UTURE
Cetting 1here
98-AKE9OUR'OALS(APPEN
102&OCUSON9OUR$ESIRED
/UTCOME
1040LAYTO9OUR3TRENGTHS
106$EALWITH/VERLOAD
110,IVE5PTO9OUR3ELF
)MAGE
1124AKE#AREOF9OURSELF
114,EARNFROM9OUR-ISTAKES
116"EYOND9OUR'OALS
118Index
120 AcknowIedgments
#ONTENTS
5_ED245_US 5 31/7/06 4:51:38 pm
006_007-ED245-AchieveGoals.indd 6 12/4/06 10:37:42 am

Hov vouId you Iike your Iife Io be differenI? WheIher
iI's choosing a nev career paIh, nding your souI maIe,
or geIIing your nances in order, mosI peopIe have
someIhing abouI Iheir Iife IhaI Ihey vanI Io change.
The lacl lhal you are reading lhis means lhal you are
considering making changes. Like mosl people, you will have
lried lo make changes in your lile belore. You probably lound
lhal some were easier lhan
olhers, and lhal some
changes lasled while olhers
did nol. Whal was lhe
dillerence belween lhem?
Almosl any change is possible il you pul all lhe laclors in
place lo help you. lirsl, make sure lhal you accepl yoursell.
People somelimes avoid laking a realislic look al where lheir
lives are now because lhey are worried aboul whal lhey will
lnd, and how lhey will leel aboul lhemselves as a resull.
Slarling wilh an allilude ol acceplance solves lhis problem.
You can assess your currenl way ol being objeclively, wilhoul
judging yoursell. Second, make sure lhal you are clear aboul
whal you wanl. You can use lhe melhods in !CHIEVE9OUR
'OALS lo clarily your vision ol where you wanl lo be, and lo
ACHl LVL YOUP COAL S
)NTRODUCTION
#HANGEWILLHAPPENWHEN
YOUAREREADYANDABLETO
TAKETHENECESSARYSTEPS
6_ED245_US 6 31/7/06 4:51:41 pm

resolve any doubls and uncerlainlies so lhal you can be sure
lhal lhis is whal you really wanl. linally, use brain-lriendly
melhods lo achieve your goal. Your mind is an amazingly
powerlul and complex mechanism. ll will respond well lo
some approaches and will resisl some olhers wilh all ils mighl.
This book shows you lhe besl ways lo make your goals
compelling and keep your mind molivaled. ll will work besl il
you slarl wilh lhe sell-assessmenl on lhe lollowing pages and
work lhrough lhe book lrom slarl lo lnish. ll possible, leam
up wilh a goal-selling parlner, so lhal you can supporl each
olher along lhe way. This helps because you can ollen gain
addilional insighls lrom your parlner as you lalk lhrough lhe
exercises logelher, and also because when you lell anolher
person aboul your goals, lhose goals become more real and
you are more likely lo carry
lhem oul. ll you can'l lnd a
goal-selling parlner righl
away, doing lhe exercises by
yoursell will slill workbul
you musl do lhem, nol jusl
lhink lhem lhrough, in order
lor lhem lo be lruly elleclive.
l NTPODUCTl ON
7_ED245_US 7 31/7/06 4:51:42 pm

"EFORE !FTER
!SSESSING9OUR3KILLS
These queslions are designed lo gel you lhinking aboul
goal-selling and may lead lo new insighls, whelher you are
an experienced goal achiever or jusl slarling oul. To gel lhe
lull benell, complele lhe assessmenl lwiceonce belore
you read lhe book and again aller you have read il and,
crucially, done lhe praclical exercises. The more honesl you
are wilh yoursell, lhe grealer lhe benells you will enjoy.
When ycu think abcut the prcbIems that
ycu face ncw, what is ycur rst instinct?
A | blaue olhers
8 | blaue uysel
C | accepl respousibilily, aud lhiuk aboul whal |
cau do lo chauge lhiugs
When things dcn't wcrk cut the way ycu
want them tc, what is ycur respcnse?
A | eel lhal | have ailed
8 | redouble uy eorls
C | ask uysel whal | ueed lo learu rou lhis resull
What kind cf internaI diaIcgues dc ycu have?
A Jhey are crilical
8 Jhey are supporlive aud eucouragiug
C | dou'l have iulerual dialogues-uy "iuuer voice"
is sileul uosl o lhe liue
Kcw dc ycu feeI abcut ycur current jcb?
A | dou'l do auy uore lhau | have lo
8 |l doesu'l really suil ue, bul | work hard as a
ualler o pride
C My work is lakiug ue closer lo ullliug uy lie's
purpose
ACHl LVL YOUP COAL S
8_ED245_US 8 31/7/06 4:51:45 pm

!33%33) .' 9/52 3+) ,, 3
"EFORE !FTER
7HICHOFTHESESTATEMENTSISCLOSEST
TOYOURPHILOSOPHYOFLIFE
! You're eilher lucky or uulucky
" People uake lheir owu luck
# Everylhiug lhal happeus is au opporluuily
lo learu
7HYISITIMPORTANTTOYOUTOACHIEVE
YOURGOALS
! | haveu'l really lhoughl aboul il
" Because | dou'l waul lo slay where | au uow
# Jo iucrease lhe possibililies opeu lo ue
(OWDOYOUFEELABOUTYOURSTRENGTHS
! |'u uol really sure whal lhey are
" Jhey're beller lhau uosl people's, bul lhey're
uever good euough
# | kuow uy slreuglhs aud au always ready
lo iuprove lheu
7HATISYOURATTITUDETOTHEFUTURE
! | lry lo live iu lhe uoueul
" My ulure is plauued oul or lhe uexl
ve years
# | kuow where |'u goiug aud | have uauy
possible roules lo gel lhere
(OWCLEARLYDElNEDAREYOURGOALS
! Nol very-lhey're jusl daydreaus
" |l's all wrilleu dowu aud | will gel lhere i il
kills ue
# Jhey are clear aud vivid, aud | updale lheu iu
lhe lighl o uew iuorualiou
(OWDOYOUKNOWWHENYOUREDOING
AGOODJOB
! 0lher people lell ue
" | jusl kuow
# wheu uy eeliug aboul il is courued by
eedback rou olher people aud objeclive
evideuce
9_ED245_US 9 31/7/06 4:51:46 pm

!#() %6% 9/52 '/!, 3
"EFORE !FTER
What wcuId happen if ycu didn't
achieve ycur gcaIs?
A Lie would go ou lhe saue as usual
8 | have lo achieve uy goals
C | expecl lo achieve lheu, bul whalever
happeus, | will learu souelhiug valuable
rou il
Kcw cIear are ycu abcut what is
impcrtant tc ycu?
A |'u a bil vague
8 |'u very clear-i | wasu'l, auylhiug could
happeu
C | au clear aboul whal's iuporlaul, eveu i il is
soueliues ullled iu uuexpecled ways
Kcw dc ycu maintain ycur wcrklIife
baIance?
A |l's uol a probleu-| do euough lo gel by,
aud lheu slop
8 |l all goes by lhe board wheu lhere's a
deadliue
C | au realislic aboul whal | cau do, aud uake
sure lhe iuporlaul lhiugs gel doue rsl
Dc ycu deserve tc be successfuI?
A Nol especially, uo uore lhau auyoue else
8 Yes-because | work hard or il
C Yes-like everyoue else, | ud il easier lo be
al uy besl wheu | au happy aud ullled
"EFORE
!FTER
&INAL3CORES
!
"
#
10_ED245_US 10 31/7/06 4:51:47 pm
11_ED245_CMYK_ 11 11/4/06 6:36:43 pm

!NALYSIS
-OSTLY!S
These answers suggesl you leel lhal lhe locus ol conlrol is oulside ol
you, and lhal whalever you lry will probably nol succeed. Whalever
you would like lo happen in your lulure, il is likely lo remain a
daydream unless you lake some aclion. To change lhings, lollow lhe
sleps in lhe book and do lhe exercises (don'l jusl read lhem). Slarling
wilh small, achievable sleps, build up some relerence experiences ol
successlul goal allainmenl.
-OSTLY"S
You are highly molivaled, a bil ol a perleclionisl, and your own
harshesl crilic. You don'l like lo be bealen and will lorce yoursell lo
overcome challenges againsl lhe odds. You may lnd, however, lhal
achieving your goals somelimes lurns oul lo be less salislying lhan
you envisaged. Cive some allenlion lo clarilying whal is imporlanl lo
you, and make sure you lake accounl ol how your goals impacl on
your heallh, relalionships, and general happiness.
-OSTLY#S
You demonslrale a malure approach lo goal achievemenlyou lake
responsibilily lor your own aclions, you are clear aboul whal you wanl,
and you lhink aboul lhe ellecls on your lile and relalionships. Make
sure you do nol become over-analylical aboul your goals, as lhis can
lead lo a lack ol molivalion. To recharge your drive, lake care lo slay
connecled wilh whal is imporlanl lo you, and lry oul new experiences
lrom lime lo lime.
#ONCLUSION
ll lhis is lhe lrsl lime you have done lhis sell-assessmenl, lhen bear in
mind lhis analysis as you read lhe book. Pay special allenlion lo lhe
areas highlighled by your responses, as well as lhe lips and lechniques
lhese will help you lo reduce lhe number ol A responses nexl lime
around and achieve a more balanced mixlure ol 8's and C's. Aller you
have compleled lhe book and pul lhe lechniques inlo praclice, relake
lhe assessmenl. Civing honesl answers will enable you lo gel a direcl
measure ol your progressand you should see a big improvemenl!
ASSLSSl NC YOUP SKl LL S
11_ED245_US 11 9/8/06 5:47:57 pm
12_ED245_CMYK_ 12 12/4/06 2:24:09 pm

To reach your deslinalion, you need lo know
where you are slarling lrom. You can gel
clues aboul where you wanl lo be lrom
your lile now, and how you arrived al
lhis poinl. Your beliels are sell-lulllling
prophecies, so locusing on whal you wanl
and whal is already working helps you reach
your remaining goals. This seclion shows you.
Why il's vilal lo lake responsibilily lor where
you are now
How lo use lhe Cause and Lllecl equalion
How lo develop your personal power
The power ol your unconscious mind lo
help you lo achieve whal you wanl
How lo develop your sell-awareness and
assess where your lile is now.
ll's Up
lo You
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012-041-ED245-Goals.indd 13 25/4/06 11:10:22 13_ED245_US 13 31/7/06 4:51:56 pm
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4AKE2ESPONSIBILITY
The rsI sIep in changing your Iife is Io accepI
responsibiIiIy for vhere you are nov. Recognize IhaI
you are Ihe onIy person vho can change your Iife-
no one eIse can do iI for you.
-AKETHE2IGHT#HOICES
To lake responsibilily is simply lo recognize lhal you have
lhe abilily lo respond lo evenls as lhey happen. You
cannol conlrol whal lile lhrows al you. Whal you can
conlrol is lhe choices you make in
response. This also means lhal you
have a responsibilily lo make lhe
besl choices you can, and lo keep
learning so lhal you expand lhe
range ol choices available lo you.
The more abililies you have, lhe
easier il is lo make lhe righl choice
in any given silualion. Does lhal
mean you have lo do il all yoursell,
wilhoul any oulside assislance? Nolhere are some
goals you can only achieve lhrough working wilh olhers.
You can'l make olher people help youbul you can
inluence and inspire lhem lo wanl lo help you in
achieving your goals.
$ONT3ELFBLAME
Taking responsibilily is nol lhe same as blaming yoursell,
or olher people, lor anylhing lhal has gone wrong up lo
now. Lveryone (including you) makes lhe besl choices lhey
can according lo how lhey perceive lhe world al lhe lime.
ll makes no sense lo leel guilly aboul lhings you have
done in lhe pasl, because al lhal lime you were doing lhe
besl lhal you could.
l T' S UP TO YOU
i
w
(APPINESSDEPENDSUPONOURSELVES
!RISTOTLE
4OGETRESULTS
ACTIONIS
NECESSARYAS
WELLASGOOD
INTENTIONS
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"REAKTHE#IRCLEOF
&AILURE
TAKL PLSPONSl 8l Ll T Y
4HINK&EEDBACKNOT&AILURE
When you don'l immedialely gel lhe resull you wanled,
you have a choice aboul how you view lhal resull. One
way ol looking al lhings is likely lo bring us more bad
resulls, lhe olher, however, gives us a chance lo learn lrom
mislakes so we don'l repeal lhem. We can judge resulls
we don'l like eilher as "lailure" or as "leedback"
inlormalion lhal allows us lo correcl our course. Which
one will you choose?
,EARNTO*UDGE9OUR2ESULTS
ll you become accuslomed lo lhinking ol yoursell as a
lailure, you are selling up a vicious circle lhal can be hard
lo break. ll, however, you lake all your resullsposilive or
negaliveas leedback, you are selling up a progressive
chain ol evenls. one you can learn lrom.
w
Jhal's
eedback
Everylhiug |
lry iu lhe ulure
will ail
Jhal ailed
|'u a ailure
whal do | ueed
lo learu1
whal will | do
diereully1
My resulls will
iuprove
5SE&AILUREFOR0OSITIVE2ESULTS ^void alliug iulo a
vicious circle o ailure by aualyziug why you ailed iu a
parlicular silualiou, aud deleruiuiug lo chauge lhe way
you acl iu a siuilar silualiou iu lhe ulure. | you lreal
every ailure as a posilive learuiug experieuce, you are
selliug yoursel up lo succeed uexl liue.
|ailure
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-AKE9OUR'OOD&ORTUNE
Do you leel as lhough you are al lhe mercy ol evenls, and
lhal your chances lor success are delermined by your pasl
hislory, your circumslances, and whal olher people will
allow you lo do? Or do you believe lhal you are lhe aulhor
ol your own desliny, lhal you make your own luck, and
lhal you can make a dillerence in your lile? Mosl ol us
would pul ourselves somewhere in belween. The more you
leel yoursell sympalhizing wilh lhe second viewpoinl, lhe
more likely you are lo achieve your goals.
#AUSEAND%FFECT
Many people pul lhemselves al lhe Lllecl end ol lhe
speclrum. They leel lhal lheir emolions jusl happen lo
lhem, or are caused by olher people. You can hear clues lo
lhe way people lhink in lhe words lhey choose lo express
lhemselves.
She upsel me
He made me angry
This gridlocked lrallc is really gelling lo me!
8y lhinking lhis way, lhey are handing power over how
lhey leel lo olher peopleor even lo inanimale objecls
ralher lhan laking charge ol lheir leelings and using lhem
lo posilive ellecl. They are saying lhal how lhey leel, and
even whal lhey do, is beyond lheir conlrol. ls lhis how you
wanl lo be? Pul yoursell al Cause inslead.
l T' S UP TO YOU
#HANGE9OUR0OSITION
#!53% %&&%#4 9/5
16_ED245_US 16 31/7/06 4:51:59 pm
17_ED245_CMYK_ 17 12/4/06 2:24:24 pm
&OCUSONTHE0RESENT
When you decide lo place yoursell al lhe Cause end ol lhe
speclrum, lhings change. You are more likely lo believe in
lhe principle lhal any problem can be solved, and you
locus more on whal you wanl lhan on whal you don'l.
When problems arise, ralher lhan asking "Why is lhis
happening lo me?" (a queslion locusing allenlion on lhe
pasl), you ask lhings like.
Lxaclly whal is going on here?
Whal can l do lo change il?
Whal is il lhal l wanl lo happen inslead?
These queslions place your
allenlion on lhe presenl
and lhe lulurea more
uselul locus lhan lhe pasl il
you wanl lo change.
4AKE$ECISIVE!CTIONLie oleu calls
ou you lo acl decisively. ^ uedical
leau, or exauple, uusl couslaully
uake key decisious ou palieul care.
)DENTIFY#AUSEAND%FFECT
#!53% %&&%#4
!SKSh(OW7HATv !SKSh7HYv
(ASAPRESENTFUTUREFOCUS (ASAFOCUSONTHEPAST
,EARNSFROMPROBLEMS &EELSBADABOUTPROBLEMS
17_ED245_US 17 31/7/06 4:52:00 pm
18_ED245_CMYK_ 18 12/4/06 2:24:25 pm

$EVELOP9OUR0ERSONAL0OWER
Your personaI pover is your abiIiIy Io make choices for
yourseIf. When Ihe pover is sIrong, Iife becomes much
easier. You have Ihe deniIe sense IhaI you are in
charge, and IhaI Ihe choices are yours Io make.
%NJOYTHE"ENElT
Wilh a heallhily developed sense ol personal power, you
will lnd you can manage your emolions, so you don'l do
lhings in lhe heal ol lhe momenl lhal you laler regrel. You
do lhings because you wanl lo, nol jusl lo please olher
people. You acl more compassionalely, because you are
nol leeling sorry lor yoursell. Your mind is calm and clear,
yel alerl. Whalever challenges you lace, you are able lo
respond approprialely. Olher people are allracled lo you
because you are comlorlable wilh yoursell.
5SE9OUR0OWERTO!CT
Some people lnd lhemselves uncomlorlable wilh lhe idea
ol "personal power," because lor lhem il has connolalions
ol dominance over olher people, ol ordering lhem
around and lelling lhem whal lo do. This is, however, a
misconceplion ol whal is meanl by lhe lerm. Personal
power is aboul increasing your inner, personal slrenglh
your reliance on yoursell, and your abilily lo achieve your
goals. You will lnd lhal as you build up relerence
experiences ol achieving your goals, slarling small al lrsl
and gradually increasing your level ol challenge as you
gain conldence, your "sell-ellcacy" (as psychologisls call
your sense ol personal power) will grow, loo. Once you
have il, il is up lo you lo use lhal power wisely. ll you are
lhe sorl ol person who lends lo leel marlyred or pul upon
by olher people, you will
lnd lhal leeling gradually
diminishing, and your sense
ol ellecliveness growing, as
you slarl lo increase your
personal power.
l T' S UP TO YOU
i
w
!FlRMTHEPOSITIVE
VISUALIZETHEPOSITIVEAND
EXPECTTHEPOSITIVE
2EMEZ3ASSON
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19_ED245_CMYK_ 19 12/4/06 2:24:27 pm

DLVLLOP YOUP PLPSONAL POWLP
1his is a way of caIming your mind and body fast. When
stressfuI situations are sprung on you, you don't usuaIIy
have time to do haIf an hour of yoga. ou can use this
exercise any time, anywhere.
Place your allenlion on a poinl

slraighl in lronl ol you and slighlly
above your eye level. Look al il wilh
"soll eyes," wilhoul slraining lo
locus, and blink whenever you wanl.
Slill looking slraighl ahead, allow

your leld ol vision lo gradually
broaden oul as you nolice more and
more ol whal is on eilher side ol lhal
poinlunlil you are paying allenlion lo whal you can see oul
ol lhe corners ol your eyes on bolh sides al once.
Now lel your awareness spread oul even larlher. Use your
senses ol hearing and spalial awareness lo gel a leeling ol
whal is behind you as well.
Pelax inlo lhis all-around awareness and nolice whal happens.

Slay lhere lor as long as you can.
Whal did you nolice? Mosl people reporl a leeling ol increasing
relaxalionlhey nolice lhal lheir brealhing has slowed down, and
lhal any inlernal dialogue or debale playing in lheir head has
slowed down or even slopped allogelher. Using your peripheral
vision as an aid lo calm like lhis need nol be an inlensive exercise.
ll you are giving a presenlalion, lor example, going a lillle way
inlo peripheral vision will help lo calm any nervous bullerlies you
have, and will also enable you lo see nonverbal responses across
lhe whole audience, ralher lhan concenlraling loo hard on
individuals al lhe cosl ol an overview. To resl your eyes and relurn
relreshed aller lhe peripheral vision exercise, rub your hands
logelher vigorously lo warm lhem, and lhen place your palms
over your closed eyes lor a lew seconds.
"ECOMING#ALM
As the eyes
reIax, muscIe
tension
Ieaves the
body
19_ED245_US 19 31/7/06 4:52:03 pm
20_ED245_CMYK_ 20 12/4/06 2:24:29 pm

#ENTER9OURSELF
Anolher way ol increasing your personal power was
inspired originally by lhe marlial arls. ll's a way ol
increasing your "presence," as well as a way ol slaying
calm and cenlered no maller whal happens around you.
Marlial arls praclilioners discovered long ago lhal where
you locus your allenlion in your body has a huge ellecl
on how calm you are, how comlorlable you are wilhin
yoursell, and even how physically slrong you are. Mosl
praclilioners allribule greal power lo lhis abilily, some go
so lar as lo say lhal when you are lruly cenlered, il is
impossible lo leel learlhough lhis lakes a lol ol praclice.
)NCREASE9OUR!WARENESS
While you are oul walking, praclice paying allenlion lo
your cenlral poinl and mainlaining your peripheral vision.
Allhough il mighl nol be whal you expecl, as you locus
on your cenlral poinl, you will lnd lhal you also become
considerably more aware ol your surroundings. Many sell-
delense courses leach lhe developmenl ol lhis all-around
awareness as a means ol increasing your personal salely.
l T' S UP TO YOU
Use this exercise to Iocate
your "center" and
concentrate on your focus.
l cau be p|ac|ced |u au, qu|e
p|ace w|e|e ,ou cau couceu|ae.
1 'aud w|| ,ou| ee s|ou|de|
w|d| apa|, w|| ,ou| we||
e.eu|, ba|auced aud ,ou| bod,
|e|aed.
2 Le ,ou| |uees beud s||||,,
aud couceu|ae ,ou| ocus ou
|e couuec|ou beweeu ,ou|
ee aud |e oo|.
3 la, aeu|ou o a po|u |a |s
au |uc| o| wo be|ow ,ou|
ua.e|, aud |u |e ceue| o
,ou| bod,, |a|wa, beweeu
|ou aud bac|. Locae |e
po|u reua||, aud ocus ou |
corp|ee|,.
4 Loo| s|a|| a|ead aud o
|uo pe||p|e|a| .|s|ou.
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
20_ED245_US 20 9/8/06 5:12:08 pm
21_ED245_CMYK_ 21 12/4/06 2:24:32 pm

DLVLLOP YOUP PLPSONAL POWLP
3TRENGTH You uay eel
lhal whelher or uol
soueoue cau push you
o balauce is solely a
quesliou o physical
slreuglh. Chauge your
ocus, aud you will ud
lhis is uol lhe case.
&OCUS wheu you
couceulrale your euergy
iu a peripheral parl o
your body (your lel ear),
you will ud lhal you are
easy lo push o balauce,
eveu i you are lryiug
hard lo slay uprighl.
#ENTER 0uce you have
couceulraled your
euergies ceulrally iu your
body, you will ud lhal
you are harder lo push
backward-eveu i you
are cousciously resisliug
lhe push less hard.
4EST(OW#ENTERED9OU!RE
ll is easy bolh lo lesl how cenlered you are, and lo cenler
yoursell more slrongly. Ask a lriend lo push your chesl lo
lry lo make you lake a slep backward. Try lhis lwice, lhe
lrsl lime locusing on lhe lop ol your lell ear, and lhe
second lime cenlered. You'll nolice a dramalic dillerence.
)MAGINEPROJECTINGANhENERGYBUBBLEvFROM
YOURCENTRALPOINT.OTICETHERESULTSYOUGET
4)0
21_ED245_US 21 31/7/06 4:52:05 pm
22_ED245_CMYK_ 22 12/4/06 2:24:34 pm

#LEAR9OUR)NNER#LUTTER
If you feeI as Ihough Ihere are Ioo many Ihings
happening aI once, and you don'I knov vhere Io sIarI,
Ihis is a sign IhaI you need Io cIear some menIaI space.
OIhervise you couId end up consIanIIy reghIing.
"E%FFECTIVENOT"USY
Many people loday believe lhal lhey "can'l relax." Usually
lhis is because lhey leel lhere is somelhing lhal lhey don'l
wanl lo lace up lo, so lhey lry lo dislracl lhemselves by
keeping ceaselessly busy. The problem is lhal il doesn'l
work. On lop ol lhe lime wasled on nonessenlial lasks
(and you will already have discovered lhal any bil ol lrivia
will do il your main purpose is jusl lo slay busy), whal lhey
are lrying lo escape lrom doesn'l go away. ll is slill
nagging away al lhe back ol lhe mind, dislracling lhem
lrom lhe very lasks lhey are using lo dislracl lhemselves.
When you lace up lo lhings, however, you will lnd lhal
lhey will always be easier lo deal wilh lhan you leared.
It heIps to cIear your mind
compIeteIy before you make
a start on something new.
!||s |s au eas, r|udc|ea||u
ee|c|se |a cau be p|ac|ced
w|e|e.e| ,ou |appeu o be.
1 C|ose ,ou| e,es aud ocus ou
,ou| b|ea||u. You w||| ud
|a |u a s|o| |re | s||s
|uo a ro|e |e|aed pae|u.
2 l ,ou |ea| au, "reua|
c|ae|," |e | |appeu. Le o
|se|, | w||| ca|r dowu.
3 /s ,ou sa, ocused ou ,ou|
b|ea||u, ,ou w||| ud ,ou
uo|ce ce|a|u seusa|ous ro|e
|au usua|. No|ce |ow |e a||
,ou b|ea|e |u |s coo|e| |au
|e a|| ,ou b|ea|e ou.
4 Eac| |re ,ou b|ea|e |u, |e
,ou| aeu|ou o||ow eac| |u
b|ea| deepe| dowu |us|de.
5 w|eu ,ou a|e |ead, o core
bac|, opeu ,ou| e,es. !a|e a
roreu o| wo o uo|ce |ow
|e|es|ed ,ou ee|.
t
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
l T' S UP TO YOU
22_ED245_US 22 9/8/06 5:12:09 pm
23_ED245_CMYK_ 23 12/4/06 2:24:38 pm
7HEREISYOURFAVORITEPLACETORELAX%VERYONENEEDS
SOMEWHERETHEYCANGOTORECHARGETHEIRBATTERIESAND
RECOVERFROMTHEENERGYDRAINSOFMODERNLIFE
This exercise is designed lo help you recharge your energies even
when you're lar away lrom a relaxing environmenl.
lind a comlorlable place where you can close your eyes.

Pelax, using lhe brealhing lechnique on lhe opposile page.
ln your mind's eye, lnd your lavorile place lo relax. ll could be

a room in your house, somewhere lhal you've been on
vacalion, a memory lrom long ago, or even an imaginary
place. This is somewhere jusl lor you, where you can recharge.
Nolice whal you can see and be aware ol lhe colors.
Lislen lo lhe peacelul, relaxing sounds.
Nolice how peacelul il leels, as you begin lo absorb lhe peace

and lranquillily wilhin yoursell.
Slay lor as long as leels righl, lhen relurn relreshed.

"UILDAN)NNER3ANCTUARY
&IND4RANQUILLITY wheu you have ouud your ideal iulerual reuge, you cau lake
lhe liue lo perecl il uulil il ueels all your crileria or rechargiug your euergies.
23_ED245_US 23 10/8/06 10:12:40 am
24_ED245_CMYK_ 24 12/4/06 2:24:40 pm

4HE0OWEROF9OUR5NCONSCIOUS
The oId-fashioned freudian idea of Ihe unconscious
(someIimes caIIed Ihe subconscious) mind vas of a kind
of dungeon vhere ve Iock up aII Ihe repressed desires
(aggression, IusI, seIshness) IhaI ve can'I admiI Io.
2ECOGNIZE9OUR5NCONSCIOUS
ln lacl, your unconscious mind is jusl lhose parls ol your
lhoughl processes lhal happen below lhe radar ol your
conscious awareness. When you are lalking lo someone,
who chooses lhe words and lhe
order in which lhey come oul?
When you pick up your phone
lrom lhe lable, who is coordinaling
lhe dozens ol muscles involved in
lhal movemenl? Whal keeps you
brealhing when you are asleep?
Nol your conscious mind.
Your unconscious mind is able
lo mullilask in a way lhal is lar
beyond your conscious abililies.
ll keeps lhe billions ol cells and lhousands ol syslems in
your body working in (more or less) perlecl harmony. ll
runs your immune syslem, your digeslive syslem, your
brealhing, your circulalion, and il perlorms prodigious
leals ol real-lime processing lhal lhe mosl advanced
compulers are nowhere near malching.
,EARNTO5SE9OUR5NCONSCIOUS
Your unconscious mind is like a lailhlul servanl, carrying
oul your wishes wilhoul lhe need lor conscious ellorl on
your parl. ll wanls you lo succeed and il lries lo acl in your
besl inleresls. ll likes lo be given lasks lo carry oul. ll you
don'l give il any inslruclions, il will lake lhem lrom oulside
inluencesusually drawing lrom adverlising, lhe media,
or peer pressure. Pighl now you can choose lo enlisl lhe
help ol your unconscious mind by being clear aboul whal
you wanl and giving il unambiguous inslruclions lo lollow.
9OUR
UNCONSCIOUS
MINDIS
WORKINGIN
YOURFAVOR
l T' S UP TO YOU
24_ED245_US 24 31/7/06 4:52:09 pm
25_ED245_CMYK_ 25 12/4/06 2:24:42 pm

-ANAGE9OUR-IND
Your conscious mind (lhe "you" lhal makes decisions, or
your "will") is like lhe caplain ol a ship. The unconscious
mind plays lhe parl ol lhe crew. The crew members all
know whal lheir jobs are, and lhey can carry lhem oul
wilhoul having lo be lold. So whal is lhe job ol lhe
caplain? To decide where lhe ship is going. Many people,
lhough, don'l use lheir conscious mind lor ils inlended
purpose. On lheir "ship," lhe caplain is lorever worrying
aboul whelher lhe crew are doing lheir jobs, while
neglecling lo sel a course lor lhe ship. lor long slrelches
lhey are becalmed, or going around in circles. lnslead, you
can selecl consciously lhe course you inlend and lel your
unconscious mind gel on wilh lhe job.
THL POWLP Ol YOUP UNCONSCl OUS
4APYOURUNCONSCIOUSMINDSCREATIVITYBY
ASKINGITTOSOLVEAPROBLEMASYOUGOTOSLEEP9OU
OFTENlNDTHATYOUHAVETHEANSWERWHENYOUWAKE
4)0
THINK
3-!24
our unconscious mind does not understand the word
"not," so it's important that you Iearn to taIk to your
unconscious in a way that it wiII understand.
Ce ro|e eec|.e |esu|s, bo| |or ,ou| uucousc|ous aud
|or o|e| peop|e, b, e|||u |er w|a ,ou do wau |er o
do, |a|e| |au w|a ,ou dou'. l a pa|eu e||s a odd|e|
"0ou' ouc| |a caud,," |e odd|e|'s uucousc|ous r|ud
|ea|s "ouc| |a caud,." '|r||a||,, suppose |a ,ou wau o
|.e up sro||u-| ,ou cousau|, e|| ,ou|se| "l'r uo
o|u o sro|e," ,ou w||| be cou|uua||, |er|ud|u ,ou|se| o
c|a|ees, aud p|obab|, |es|ru|a|u ,ou| c|a.|u. Nea|ou
|s a |o|ca| coucep bu ,ou cau' o|r au |rae o |, so ocus
,ou| uucousc|ous ou pos||.e beues.
25_ED245_US 25 31/7/06 4:52:11 pm
26_ED245_CMYK_ 26 12/4/06 2:24:44 pm

7ORKWITH9OUR5NCONSCIOUS
Many people lry lo make changes lhrough willpower
alone, wilhoul lrsl gelling lhe agreemenl ol lhe
unconscious mind, or even considering whal il mighl be
lrying lo lell lhem. This behavior will make change leel like
a chore, and il will usually lail, as soon as lhe person's
conscious allenlion is elsewhere, lhe unconscious mind
will go slraighl back lo ils old habils. Some sell-help gurus
lreal lhe unconscious mind as a lazy servanl, lo be
punished il il gels oul ol line. 8ul whal il lhose suppressed
doubls lurn oul lo be genuine concerns lhal were
consciously overlooked? lar beller lo discover whal you
really wanl, al bolh lhe conscious and lhe unconscious
levels ol your mind, so you can gel behind your goals in
every possible way, and pursue lhem singlemindedly. Thal
is whal lhe processes in lhis book are designed lo do.
2ECOGNIZE9OUR&EELINGS
Your unconscious mind uses your
leelings lo communicale wilh you.
ll you have ever made a big
decision despile having some
unlocused misgivings, because,
ralionally, you couldn'l lnd a
reason nol lo go ahead, you may
have wished laler lhal you had
paid more allenlion lo lhal small
doubl, however quielly il was
expressing ilsell. ll you don'l leel
enlhusiaslic aboul a course ol
aclion bul don'l know why, il may
be a sign lhal your conscious mind
has missed somelhing.
5SE3ENSEAND)NSTINCT
A decision made based on your
gul leeling only, lhough, could
lurn oul as badly as one lhal
MINUTE
&)8
)FYOUNEEDTOMAKE
AQUICKDECISIONBE
SUREYOUAREHAPPY
WITHTHEANSWERSTO
THESEQUESTIONS
BEFOREYOUACT
L
$O)REALLYWANTTO
MAKETHISCHANGE
L
)F)MAKETHISCHANGE
WHATWILL)MISS
L
7HATISTHEPURPOSE
OFTHEBEHAVIOR)AM
TRYINGTOCHANGE
L
7HATWOULDBE
DIFFERENTIF)MADETHIS
CHANGE
l T' S UP TO YOU
26_ED245_US 26 31/7/06 4:52:12 pm
27_ED245_CMYK_ 27 12/4/06 2:24:46 pm
#OMMON)NSTANCESOF3ELFSABOTAGE
3%,&3!"/4!').'"%(!6)/2
!|,|u o sop sro||u w|eu pa| o ,ou
doesu' wau o
!|,|u o |ose we|| w||ou add|ess|u
|e uude||,|u |ssues
!|,|u o be a success |u a ca|ee| ,ou
dou' |ea||, |||e
wea||u a bus|uess su|, bu w||
s|opp, |oor|u aud accesso||es
2%35,43
Re|aps|u ea||,, a|||u |u
,ou| aerp
Repea|u uusuccessu|
,o,o d|e|u
le|o|r|u poo||,, uude|
ac||e.|u a wo||
leop|e dou' a|e ,ou
se||ous|,
ignores your inslincls. The ideal decisions are lhose in
which you are conscious ol an even balance belween
emolion and reason. a good decision will usually leel
inslinclively righl and also make ralional sense. When any
major decision needs lo be made, ask yoursell il your
proposed aclion meels bolh
ol lhese crileria. ll il does,
lhen you should acl on il
wilh conldence.
)NNER#ONlDENCE4HEULTIMATE
CONlDENCEDERIVESFROMTHECERTAINTY
THATADECISIONISRIGHTFORYOUONBOTH
RATIONALANDEMOTIONALLEVELS
27_ED245_US 27 31/7/06 4:52:13 pm
28_ED245_CMYK_ 28 12/4/06 2:24:51 pm

5SE9OUR"ELIEFS0OSITIVELY
The beliels you choose become lllers lhrough which you
inlerprel everylhing lhal happens. Lvidence lhal supporls
your chosen beliels will be highlighled, while evidence lhal
conlradicls lhem will be played down or nol even noliced.
Here are lwo beliels you may have come across.
"Lile's a bilch and lhen you die."
"Lile is an advenlure, people are basically good, and
l can achieve anylhing l wanl."
Which one is lrue? ll you lhink aboul il, you can provide
evidence lrom your own lile lo supporl eilher one. So
bolhor neilherare lrue. 8eliels are like maps lhal help
us lnd our way around. The imporlanl queslion aboul
lhem is nol "Are lhey lrue?" bul "Are lhey uselul?"
Which beliel you choose becomes a lller lhrough which
you inlerprel everylhing lhal happens. Lvidence lhal
supporls your chosen beliel
will be highlighled, while
evidence lhal conlradicls il
will be ignored, played
down, or even go unnoliced.
2EADTHE!PPROPRIATE-AP Maps
coue iu diereul guises-lhiuk aboul
a wealher uap agaiusl a road uap.
bolh o lheu are accurale, bul which is
lhe uore useul or your purposes1
l T' S UP TO YOU
28_ED245_US 28 31/7/06 4:52:14 pm
29_ED245_CMYK_ 29 12/4/06 2:24:54 pm

#ONSIDERTHE%VIDENCE
The "lile's a bilch" believer will acl in a way lhal makes
sense lo lhem in lhe lighl ol lhal beliel, which will be very
dillerenl lrom how someone holding lhe second beliel
acls. The resulls lhey gelposilive
or negalivewill lend lo bear oul
lheir beliel. The longer and more
deeply held lhe beliel is, lhe more
"evidence" il will accumulale in
supporl ol il. There are many well-
known examples ol research
sludies supporling lhe idea lhal
whal you believe inluences lhe
real oulcome ol evenls in your lile.
Three ellecls lhal are ollen ciled are.
The "Placebo Lllecl," in which some palienls in lhe
"conlrol group" in clinical drug lrials gel beller,
convinced lhal lhey are receiving medicine, even
lhough lhe "lrealmenl" lhal lhey lhink lhey are
receiving is jusl a sugar pill
The "Halo Lllecl," discovered by Ldward Thorndike in
!920lhis eslablished lhal il you slrongly lavor one
parlicular and specilc characlerislic lhal you lnd in a
person, you are more likely lo rale lhe same person
higher lor a variely ol olher posilive lrails, whelher or
nol you have evidence lo supporl your raling.
The "Pygmalion Lllecl," described by Poberl Posenlhal
in !968which showed lhal how elleclively and
successlully children perlorm academically is slrongly
inluenced by lheir leachers' beliels in lheir skills.
Since whal you believe lends lo become lrue lor you, il's
imporlanl lo lhink carelully aboul whal you believe lo
make sure lhal il supporls your success.
THL POWLP Ol YOUP UNCONSCl OUS
9OURBELIEFS
ARETHESCRIPT
FORYOURLIFE
-AKEAPOSITIVEEFFORTTOLOOKFOREVIDENCE
THATDISPROVESANDDISEMPOWERSANYBELIEFSTHATARE
WORKINGTOLIMITYOU
4)0
29_ED245_US 29 31/7/06 4:52:15 pm
30_ED245_CMYK_ 30 12/4/06 2:24:56 pm

h4/7!2$v-/4)6!4)/.
Fas bu|||u d||ec|ou. ,ou |uow
w|e|e ,ou a|e o|u, aud cau ra|e
co||ec|ous | uecessa|,.
wo||s |u a susa|ued wa,. ,ou w|||
ud |a | ee|s au e.eu s|oue|
pu|| as ,ou core c|ose| o ,ou| oa|,
aud w||| |e|p o |usp||e ,ou.
lusp||es ,ou. e.eu | ,ou| cu||eu
s|ua|ou |s uup|easau, ,ou| reua|
|rae |s o w|e|e ,ou wau o be.
&OCUSON7HAT9OU7ANT
Human beings are born viIh Ihe abiIiIy Io see paIIerns
in Ihings. Where Ihere are no innaIe paIIerns, ve Iend
Io projecI Ihem-Iike seeing picIures in a campre, or
faces and animaIs in cIouds.
,EARNTO,OOK
Consequenlly, il is much easier lo nolice somelhing il we
are already expecling lo see il. The implicalion ol lhis lor
changing your lile is lhal you gel whal you locus on. ll you
locus on whal you wanl, you will lnd il, il all you locus on
is gelling away lrom whal you don'l wanl, lhal is whal
you will lnd yoursell relurning lo again and again.
#HOOSETHE2IGHT-OTIVATION
There are lwo kinds ol molivalionloward whal you
wanl, and away lrom whal you don'l wanl. While "away
lrom" molivalion can be uselul in adminislering lhe kick
lhal you needed lo gel slarled, il will give you inconsislenl
resulls. To help you keep going unlil you reach your goals,
you need lo ensure lhal your molivalion is mainly locused
on "loward."
)DENTIFY9OUR-OTIVATION
h!7!9&2/-v-/4)6!4)/.
Lac|s d||ec|ou. w|eu ,ou wau o
e awa, |or sore||u, au,
d||ec|ou w||| do.
wo||s ou|, o| a s|o| |re. | |.es
ou as soou as ,ou e a| euou|
awa, |or w|a ,ou a|e a.o|d|u,
|ea.|u ,ou beca|red uu|| |e ue
||ea cores a|ou.
l|o.es o be s|essu|. |e reua|
|rae |a ro|.aes ,ou |s o w|a
,ou wau o e awa, |or.
l T' S UP TO YOU
30_ED245_US 30 31/7/06 4:52:17 pm

31_ED245_CMYK_ 31 12/4/06 2:24:58 pm

'ET2ESULTS
%VERY4IME
One ol lhe chiel argumenls
againsl "away lrom"
molivalion is lhal il leads
lo inconsislenl resulls. ll
someone is molivaled lo
make money primarily
because she grew up in
poverly and never wanls
lo go back lhere, her
molivalion will begin lo
disappear as she slarls
gelling rich, and relurn
once she has losl her
money. 8ehavioral experls
have surmised lhal lhis is
lhe reason lhal some
millionaires make and lose
lheir lorlunes several limes
overlhey are working lo
"away lrom" molivalion.
,IMITTHE$RAMA
IN9OUR,IFE
We all lace a cerlain amounl ol challenge and dillcully,
some lar more lhan olhers. However, some people seem
lo allracl dillcullies even in quile slraighllorward
silualions where none previously exisled. This may relecl
an unconscious need lo be lhe hero or heroine in lheir
own lile slory. When lhings are going well, lhey will
unconsciously lnd a way ol disrupling lhem so lhal lhey
can conlinue in lheir heroic slruggle.
lOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT
!SKYOURSELFIFYOUWOULDBEHAPPYTOGET
WHATYOUWANTEASILY9OUMAYBECREATINGMORE
DRAMATHANYOUNEEDTOBESUCCESSFUL
4)0
"^way rou" uolivaliou
Resull level
"Joward" uolivaliou
Resull level
-OTIVATION
0ICK9OUR-OTIVATIONReach your
goal wilh "loward" uolivaliou."^way
rou" uolivaliou ouly helps you
escape rou whal you dou'l waul.
31_ED245_US 31 31/7/06 4:52:18 pm
012-041-EED245-Achi#128555.indd 32 12/4/06 3:21:00 pm

,OOKAT9OUR,IFE!PPRECIATIVELY
5ociaI psychoIogisIs have discovered IhaI posiIive
emoIions give us beneIs beyond jusI feeIing good.
When you feeI good, iI's easier Io see Ihe big picIure,
raIher Ihan geIIing IosI in deIaiI.
&OSTER#REATIVITY
When you experience posilive
emolions, you are more crealive
lhan when you are leeling
"neulral." Posilive emolions help
you lo make sense ol complex
inlormalion quickly, and make you
less likely lo jump lo conclusions.
A posilive mindsel has physical
benells, looil helps hearl rale
and blood pressure lo relurn lo normal more quickly aller
slresslul evenls.
#ULTIVATEAN!PPRECIATIVE-INDSET
8ecause posilive emolions have lhese benells, il is uselul
lo build on whal is posilive in your lile as a basis lor
making lhe changes you wanl. However, il is nol always
easy lo lry lo slimulale posilive emolions lhrough humor,
or lhrough lelling ourselves lo look on lhe brighl side.
Pesearchers in lhe rapidly growing leld ol "posilive
psychology" lell us lhal lhe easiesl posilive emolions lo
evoke, even under exlreme circumslances, are lhose ol
gralilude and compassion.You can use lhis lo.
Appreciale even simple lhings wilh gralilude.
When bad lhings happen, ask yoursell, "Whal do l
need lo learn lrom lhis?"
lind posilive meaning lhrough helpingacl
compassionalely loward olhers.
%VERY
EXPERIENCE
POSITIVEOR
NEGATIVE
CANBEUSED
TOLEARN
i
w
)TISOFPRACTICALVALUETOLEARNTOLIKEYOURSELF
.ORMAN0EALE
l T' S UP TO YOU
32_ED245_US 32 31/7/06 4:52:19 pm
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9OUREMOTIONALRESPONSETOAMENTALIMAGEISDETERMINED
ATLEASTASMUCHBYTHEWAYINWHICHYOUTHINKABOUTITAS
BYWHATITISTHATYOUARETHINKINGABOUT
The visual qualilies ol an image lell lhe brain how much allenlion
lo pay. Your response is slronger when an image is vivid, and
when you are involved in il. Try lhis experimenl.
Think ol a happy memory. As you see il in your mind's eye,

nolice how inlense your posilive emolional response is.
ls lhe piclure lile-size, or smaller? 8ring il up lo lile-size.
ls il in color, or black and while? Make il colorlul.
Try making il a lillle brighler. Then pul some movemenl inlo il.
Slep inlo lhe piclure and see il lhrough your own eyes.
Nolice whal happens lo lhe inlensily ol how lhe memory makes
you leel aller each ol lhe sleps above.
-AKETHE-OSTOF'OOD-EMORIES
5SE0ASTAND&UTUREPosilive iuages, lled wilh lexlure aud uoveueul, are
eeclive uolivalioual aids, whelher lhey derive rou ueuories or ulure hopes.
w
33_ED245_US 33 31/7/06 4:52:20 pm
34_ED245_CMYK_ 34 12/4/06 2:25:07 pm

&IND7HAT)S!LREADY7ORKING
There is an increasingly popular approach lo organizalional
and personal change called Apprecialive lnquiry, which
holds lhal lhe besl way lo improve lhings is lo discover
whal is already working and lhen do more ol il. We lend
lo gel more ol whal we locus on. Paying allenlion lo whal
is already working well in your lile is likely lo raise your
morale and your sell-esleem, and increase lhe energy
available lor changing lhe areas ol your lile lhal are nol
working so well.
+NOW9OUR3TRENGTHS
To make il easier lo eslablish lhe posilives in your mind, lry
lhese lines ol inquiry.
Whal do people lell you are your slrenglhs?
Whal do lhe people who care aboul you regard as your
This exercise is designed lo help you locus on lhe aspecls ol your
lile lhal you wanl lo keep. Lven il you have been lelling yoursell
lhal your lile is lerrible, lhere are always some posilive elemenls.
Pale how posilive you leel al righl now on a scale ol ! lo !0.
Whal is working in your lile? Wrile il downil doesn'l maller

how lrivial each elemenl seems. Co inlo as much delail as you
can. Nolice how you leel aboul each small elemenl.
Whal are you proud ol? Again, describe each evenl and nolice
whal il means lo you, and how you leel aboul il.
Whal are you good al?
Pevisil how you leel, and rale il on lhe !-lo-!0 scale again. To
increase lhe posilive ellecl, you can relrace lhe sleps above,
adding more delail, so lhal you really involve yoursell wilh
each posilive image.
!CCENTUATETHE0OSITIVE
l T' S UP TO YOU
34_ED245_US 34 31/7/06 4:52:22 pm
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good qualilies and abililies? Take a look al yoursell
lhrough lheir eyes or, beller slill, ask lhemyou may be
pleasanlly surprised.
lmagine lhal a good lriend was
lalking aboul you lo someone
who has nol mel you. How
would lhal lriend describe your
good poinls?
Nolice how you leel aller locusing
on lhe posilive aspecls ol your lile.
Whal has changed?
,EARNTO6ALUE!CCEPTANCE
Unlil you are in a posilion lo change lhe parls ol your lile
lhal you do nol like, lhe besl allilude lo have is one ol
acceplance. There is no poinl wasling your energy lrelling
aboul lhings you are nol in a posilion lo change. One ol
lhe besl-known expressions ol lhe allilude ol acceplance
is lhe "Serenily Prayer," usually allribuled lo lhe
lheologian Peinhold Niebuhr. ll shows a wisdom lhal
resonales beyond any parlicular religious lradilion.
Cod granl me lhe serenily
lo accepl lhe lhings l cannol change,
courage lo change lhe lhings l can,
and lhe wisdom lo know lhe dillerence.
$O-OREOF7HAT7ORKS
ln conlrasl lo problem-locused approaches lo change, lhe
Apprecialive lnquiry approach says lhal you will gel more
suslainable changes il you concenlrale on doing more ol
whal is working in your lile. ll is easier lo envisage lhe
lulure you wanl when il is based on your own experiences,
ralher lhan lrying lo dream il up in ils enlirely.
LOOK AT YOUP Ll lL APPPLCl ATl VLLY
-AKESUREYOURVISIONOFTHEFUTUREKEEPSTHE
GOODASPECTSOFYOURLIFENOWTHISWILLREDUCEYOUR
RESISTANCETOCHANGE
4)0
"UILDINGON
WHATIS
ALREADY
STRONGMAKES
ITSTRONGER
35_ED245_US 35 31/7/06 4:52:23 pm

AYGSS_P036_037.indd 36 26/4/06 13:05:52
l T' S UP TO YOU
3UMMARY4HINK0OSITIVELY
A negalive approach lo lile or lack ol sell-conldence does
more lhan jusl make you leel bad aboul yoursell. ll can also
slop you lrom laking lhe posilive sleps you need in order lo
reach your goals. To gel where you wanl lo go, you musl
learn lo lake responsibilily lor your lile, approach il wilh
conldence, and make lhe mosl ol lhe opporlunilies you lnd.
4AKE
2ESPONSIBILITY
Jreal pasl experieuces
as opporluuilies lo
learu aud iuprove
|ocus ou lhe preseul aud
decide whal you'd like lo
do diereully iu lhe ulure
^clively choose lo uake
decisious ralher lhau
lelliug yoursel be pushed
passively iulo silualious
Praclice peripheral visiou as
au aid lo slayiug calu iu
slressul silualious
|iud a couorlable place
you cau go lo lake reuge
aud recharge
Learu how lo adjusl your
poslure iu order lo locale
your ceuler aud iucrease
your persoual preseuce
$EVELOP9OUR
0ERSONAL0OWER
0LANOF!CTION
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AYGSS_P036_037.indd 37 26/4/06 13:06:06
35--!29 4() .+ 0/3) 4) 6%,9
Recoguize where your
eeliugs aud iusliucls
waul lo lake you
|ocus ou uoviug loward
whal you waul, ralher lhau
lryiug lo ruu away rou
lhiugs lhal you dou'l waul
|deuliy whal uolivales
you aud use lhis lo give
yoursel ocus
%NLIST9OUR
5NCONSCIOUS
Pay alleuliou lo whal is
workiug well iu your lie
aud ideuliy your slreuglhs
Couceulrale ou doiug
uore o lhose lhiugs lhal
work well iu your lie
^ccepl aud uake lhe uosl
o lhose lhiugs lhal you
cauuol chauge
,OOKAT9OUR,IFE
!PPRECIATIVELY
37_ED245_US 37 31/7/06 4:52:30 pm
38_ED245_CMYK_ 38 12/4/06 2:25:14 pm

$EVELOP9OUR3ELF!WARENESS
The more conscious you are of Ihe vays in vhich you
Ihink and behave, Ihe easier you viII nd iI Io idenIify
eIemenIs IhaI caII for change. DeveIoping your seIf-
avareness is a poverfuI aid Io achieving your goaIs.
,ISTENTO7HAT9OU3AY
"ll's a jungle oul lhere", "l've pul lhal behind me." These
are melaphors, a common way lo express lhings. When
someone says "l'm in a bad relalionship," lhey are lalking
as il lhe relalionship is some kind ol conlainer. ll lhey were
speaking lilerally, lhey would say somelhing like "l am
relaling badly lo lhis olher person." The implicalions ol
lhe melaphorlhal lhe relalionship has some kind ol
exislence ol ils own oulside ol lhe speakerare dillerenl
lrom lhose ol lhe second
slalemenl. ln lhe lrsl case,
il's as il lhere's nolhing lhe
person can do aboul lhe
relalionship, in lhe second
case, lhe speaker can decide
lo make changes in lhe way
lhey are relaling.
%XPRESS9OURSELF
Our emolional slale lrom
momenl lo momenl is a
response nol jusl lo exlernal
evenls bul lo our inlernal
worldlhe memories lhal
leelingly come lo mind and
our images ol whal mighl
happen in lhe lulure. The
melaphors you use will
sublly allecl how you leel,
and any melaphors lhal you
use habilually will shape
bolh lhe way you lhink and
MINUTE
&)8
4OMAKESENSEOFAN
UNFAMILIARSITUATIONFAST
lNDAPOSITIVEMETAPHORFOR
ITBEFOREYOUACT
!||s |.es ,ou |e ||| reua|
a|ude o ud a wa, ||ou|
o a so|u|ou.
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!||u| o w|de opeu reap|o|s
-a doo| opeu|u, a b|oad
sweep o |audscape-|a|e|
|au sra||, euc|osed oues.
L
w|eu ,ou cau ||u| w|a
sore||u uuar|||a| |s |||e,
,ou ee| coro|ab|e w|| |.
L
!|eu core bac| o |e
s|ua|ou aud ca|r|, ||u| |
||ou|.
l T' S UP TO YOU
Sec1_38_ED245_US001 38 10/8/06 10:32:58 am
39_ED245_CMYK_ 39 12/4/06 2:25:15 pm

your mood. Whal images do your habilual melaphors
evoke? Do you work wilh someone who is "a pain"? ls
your lamily lile "a nighlmare"? Or is everylhing "running
smoolhly"? ll you use unpleasanl images, you are evoking
malching emolions in your lislenersincluding yoursell.
2ECOGNIZE9OURh3ELFv
One ol lhe mosl common yel leasl recognized melaphors
is lhe "sell." We lalk aboul lhe sell as il il is a lazy servanl
("l'm lnding il hard lo molivale mysell") or an unruly child
("l have no sell-discipline"). This dislances you lrom lhe
lacl lhal lhere is jusl lhe one person lhereyou.
Pemember lhal whalever you do, or don'l do, is your
choice and your responsibilily.
DLVLLOP YOUP SLLl- AWAPLNLSS
THINK
3-!24
IFYOUFEELYOURLIFEISINARUTANDYOUCANNOTlNDA
WAYTOPROGRESSUSEMETAPHORTOHELPYOUTHINK
CREATIVELY&INDAMETAPHORFORWHEREYOUARERIGHT
NOWANDDEVELOPITTOSEEHOWYOUMIGHTMOVEON
/ jou|ue, |s a uu|.e|sa| reap|o| o| ||e |a au,oue cau
|e|ae o. oa|s a|e des|ua|ous, c|a||eues a|e obsac|es
a|ou |e wa,, aud so ou. You cou|d as| ,ou|se|, | ,ou| ||e
we|e |||e a jou|ue,, w|a ||ud o jou|ue, wou|d | be1 You
cau w||e ,ou| auswe| o| d|scuss | w|| soreoue e|se. !|e
auswe|s cau be .e|, |e.ea||u. / ||e |a |s |||e a |a|u jou|ue,
|a does uo sop a |e ||| sa|ou, o| earp|e, ra,
|e.ea| |a ,ou ueed o pa, ro|e aeu|ou, aud o a|e ro|e
cou|o| o ,ou| d||ec|ou.
)FYOUlNDYOURSELFUSINGNEGATIVEMETAPHORS
ASKYOURSELFh7HATELSEISTHISSITUATIONLIKE(OW
ELSECOULD)DESCRIBEITv
4)0
Sec1_39_ED245_US 39 31/7/06 5:06:02 pm
012-041-EED245-Achi#128555.indd 40 12/4/06 3:16:59 pm

#HARTTHE(IGHSAND,OWSOF9OUR,IFE
Anolher way ol viewing your lile is lo lisl high and low
poinls (a briel example is shown above). When you have
compleled your lisl, look back over il. Nolice how each
signilcanl experience in your lile has helped lo make you
lhe person you are loday. lirsl, lake credil lor making lhe
high poinls happen. Ask yoursell lhese queslions.
How did l conlribule lo lhal being a high poinl?
Whal was l doing righl?
,EARNFROMTHE,OW0OINTS
Pemember lhal lhere is somelhing posilive lo learn lrom
lhe worsl experiences, even il il is only how lo prevenl a
similar experience lrom happening again. lacing adversily
develops your characleril you choose lo learn lrom il.
Ask yoursell lhese queslions.
Whal posilive lhings have l learned lrom lhal
experience?
ln whal ways has lhis made me a slronger/wiser/more
compassionale person?
lmagine lhal your lile is being made inlo a movie. Which
episodes would lhe direclor emphasize lo make an
inspiring slory? Which episodes would be selecled il il was
a leel-good comedy?
.%'!4)6%)-0!#4
s&AILINGMYDRIVINGTEST
s3PENDINGTWOYEARSINAJOB
)DISLIKED
s"EINGPASSEDOVERFORTHE
POSITIONIN.EW9ORK
s-YDIVORCE
s-YPOORRECORDINSALES
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s7INNINGADIPLOMA
s%ARNINGADEGREEINASUBJECT)
LOVEDBUTFOUNDCHALLENGING
s&INALLYGETTINGTHERIGHT
MARKETINGJOB
s4HEBIRTHSOFMYCHILDREN
s-YPROMOTIONLASTYEAR
#HART9OUR0ERSONAL(IGHSAND,OWS
l T' S UP TO YOU
Sec1_40_ED245_US 40 31/7/06 5:06:03 pm
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DLVLLOP YOUP SLLl- AWAPLNLSS
!SWELLASREVIEWINGYOURLIFEWITHTHEBENElTOFHINDSIGHT
YOUCANLEARNFROMASITUNFOLDSBYREmECTINGONITEACHDAY
7RITINGYOURTHOUGHTSDOWNHELPSYOUDETACHYOURSELFFROM
THEMASWELLASTEACHINGYOUMOREABOUTYOURSELF
Pe-reading pasl enlries, even comparalively recenl ones wrillen
jusl a monlh or lwo ago, will show you how much your emolional
slale inluences how you lhink and whal you wrile.
Ten minules ol wriling a day is enough lo give you uselul

resulls, il becomes ellorlless once you gel inlo lhe habil.
Wrile whalever you lhink, wilhoul analyzing il or pre-planning

whal you are going lo say.
lind lhe lime ol day lhal works besl lor you. lirsl lhing in lhe
morning (belore your mind gels involved in lhe day's
dislraclions), when you come home lrom work (lo draw a line
belween work and leisure), and lasl lhing al nighl are all
popular choices, according lo lasle.
+EEPA*OURNAL
1uosdsy, April 24
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jercrr ~: ry re-: .|er '`r :er-e.
Sec1_41_ED245_US 41 31/7/06 5:06:04 pm
42_ED245_CMYK_ 42 11/4/06 6:38:05 pm

To harness lhe posilive power ol "loward"
molivalion, you need lo be clear aboul whal
you wanl. When you are busy dealing wilh
lhe ever-increasing demands ol everyday lile,
il is easy lo gel dislracled lrom giving your
own needs and wishes lhe allenlion lhey
deserve. This seclion is aboul locusing on
whal is really imporlanl lo you. ll shows you.
How lo dislinguish belween "urgenl" and
"imporlanl"
How lo clarily your values
How lo check lor and resolve inner conlicls
and polenlial sell-sabolage
Decide
Whal's
lmporlanl
42_ED245_US 42 31/7/06 4:57:20 pm
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44_ED245_CMYK_ 44 11/4/06 6:38:09 pm

,OOK!HEAD
Do you Iive for Ihe momenI, or is your Iife pIanned ouI
in deIaiI from nov unIiI beyond reIiremenI? ProbabIy
you faII somevhere beIveen Ihe Ivo. You need Io Iook
aI hov Io make a vision of Ihe fuIure vork for you.
7HERE)S9OUR4IME(ORIZON
ll you own a business, lhe discipline ol having lo creale
a business plan may already have lorced you lo make plans
beyond your nalural lime horizon. ln our personal lives,
mosl ol us could benell lrom giving some suslained
allenlion lo lhe longer lerm. Looking larlher ahead allows
you lo sideslep some ol lhe nasly surprises lhal lile can
lhrow al you, and means lhal you spend less lime in
"lrelghling" mode lrying lo deal wilh unexpecled evenls.
7ORKTOWARD9OUR'OALS
ll il is nol easy lo lhink ol your goals lor six years ahead,
lhis is valuable inlormalion in ilsell. Treal il as a sign lhal
il is worlh spending some lime deciding whal you wanl
in lhe lulure. Pemember lhal lhis is jusl a slarling poinl.
You can add lo your goals as more ideas come lo you. You
may lnd lhal you gel clearer aboul your vision lor lhe
lulure as you complele lhe exercises in lhe nexl lew pages.
They will help you clarily your values. Don'l be surprised il
your goals change allogelher, or radically expand, as you
raise your sighls and discover more aboul whal you wanl.
.%'!4)6%)-0!#4
4AKINGASHORTTERMVIEW
L
%NSURESREACTIVEBEHAVIOR
L
7ORKSWITHhAWAYFROMv
MOTIVATION
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)SDRIVENBYNECESSITY
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#OMPELSYOUTOACT
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4AKINGALONGTERMVIEW
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%NABLESPROACTIVEDECISIONS
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7ORKSWITHhTOWARDv
MOTIVATION
L
)SDRIVENBYPOSSIBILITY
L
/FFERSCHOICE
,ONGVERSUS3HORTTERM6IEWS
DLCl DL WHAT' S l MPOPTANT
44_ED245_US 44 31/7/06 4:57:22 pm
45_ED245_CMYK_ 45 11/4/06 6:38:10 pm

0LACE)MPORTANTOVER5RGENT
Slephen Covey, lhe well-known aulhor on business and
lime managemenl, draws a dislinclion belween lasks lhal
demand lo be done immedialely, and lasks lhal are
imporlanl. He poinls oul lhal lhe imporlanl lasks ollen
gel pushed lo lhe back ol lhe line, because we are loo
busy dealing wilh lhe urgenl oneseven lhose lhal are
nol imporlanl. The imporlanl lasks ollen only gel done
in a mad scramble, when lhey become urgenl because a
deadline is looming. The key is lo know whal is imporlanl,
and lo slay locused on il. Once you have some meaninglul
long-lerm goals lo work loward, lhe sleps lhal will gel you
lhere become imporlanl, and il is easier lo priorilize your
lime. Tackling lhe imporlanl lasks lrsl will increase your
sense ol conlrol over your workload, reduce your slress
levels andmosl imporlanl ol allensure lhal you
accomplish much more.
LOOK AHLAD
Ask yourself, "What am l putting off right
now7"and do it immediately, without conducting
any more internal will l7/won't l7 debates.
4)0
1o encourage yourseIf to
focus beyond your everyday
concerns, however pressing,
take ten minutes to ask
yourseIf these questions and
write down your answers.
!|e, w||| |e|p ,ou o a|u a
b|oad o.e|.|ew o ,ou| s|ua|ou.
1 w|a a|e ,ou| oa|s o| s|
,ea|s |or uow1
2 w|a a|e ,ou| oa|s o| ||ee
,ea|s |or uow1
3 w|a a|e ,ou| oa|s o| oue
,ea| |or uow1
l |s bes o sa| w|| ,ou| s|
,ea| oa|s, because |e red|ur
e|r aud s|o|e|e|r oa|s w|||
oeu be sepp|u soues ou |e
wa, o ,ou| |oue|r
des|ua|ou.
t
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
45_ED245_US 45 31/7/06 4:57:24 pm
46_ED245_CMYK_ 46 11/4/06 6:38:12 pm

+NOW9OUR6ALUES
Your vaIues give you moIivaIion for your acIions.
foIIov Ihe numbered sIages in Ihis secIion Io esIabIish
vhich vaIues are imporIanI Io you, and ensure IhaI you
are cIear abouI vhaI you are vorking Iovard.
9OUR0ERSONAL3CALEOF6ALUES
Your values are also your crileria lor judging il somelhing
is righl or wrong. They guide your decisions and give
meaning lo your lile. This guidance operales al a more or
less unconscious level, you don'l need lo lhink aboul il.
Once you become aware ol your values, you can use lhem
as a checklisl lo evaluale any choices you are ollered.
(OW6ALUES/RIGINATE
You acquire your values as
you grow up, lrom a variely
ol inluences around you
lhey mighl include your
parenls, your peers, or lhe
popular cullure ol your
childhood and youlh. Over
lime, in adullhood, you will
also lnd lhal you modily
your values in lhe lighl ol
lhe conclusions you draw
lor yoursell lrom lhe evenls
ol your lile. Values are
abslracl concepls (like FUN,
INTEGRITY, LEARNING, or
SECURITY), so you can salisly
lhem in many dillerenl
ways. Use lhe lour
numbered slages shown in
oulline on lhe lell, and
expanded on lhe lollowing
pages, lo idenlily and
organize your values.
find our vaIues
1&IRSTlNDYOURVALUESFORA
PARTICULARAREAOFYOURLIFE
24HENESTABLISHWHICHOFTHESE
VALUESAREMOSTIMPORTANTTOYOU
3#HECKFORCLASHESBETWEEN
CONmICTINGVALUESANDRESOLVETHEM
4#HECKFORhAWAYFROMv
MOTIVATIONINTHElNALSETOF
VALUES
46_ED245_US 46 31/7/06 4:57:25 pm
47_ED245_CMYK_ 47 11/4/06 6:38:13 pm

&IND9OUR6ALUESFORA3PECIlC!REA
The lrsl slep is lo lhink ol lhe area ol your lile lhal you
wanl lo change lrsl. When you have decided whal il is,
ask yoursell lhe lollowing queslions.
Whal is imporlanl lo me aboul <area>?
Wrile down lhe immediale answer lhal comes lo mind.
Then conlinue lo ask.
Whal else is imporlanl lo me aboul <area>?
You will probably end up wilh a lisl ol around seven lo len
poinls ol imporlance relaling lo lhal areaallhough il
may be less and il may be
more. These poinls are lhe
values lhal you hold lor lhal
area ol your lile. Keep a
nole ol lhem, and revisil
lhem il you need lo.
KNOW YOUP VALULS
Lliciling your values is a simple yel powerlul processuse lhese
lips lo make il more revealing. ll may be easier lor someone else
lo ask you lhe queslions, inslead ol asking lhem ol yoursell.
Values should be abslracl. ll you reach a "concrele" answer

(like "a good company car" as a career value), ask again
"Whal's imporlanl aboul lhal?" unlil you reach an abslracl.

Lven when you lhink you have run oul ol answers, asking
"Whal's imporlanl aboul <area>?" will ollen unearlh
imporlanl values lhal you were less consciously aware ol.
The more honesl you are wilh yoursell, lhe more valuable your
lisl will be lo you.
ll your values lisl includes a word like "salislaclion,"

"lullllmenl," or "conlenlmenl," check whal lhal word means
lo you. ll il is whal you would gel il all lhe olher values on lhe
lisl were presenl, you can salely lake il oul.
'ETTHE"ESTFROMTHE0ROCESS
i
w
)TSNOTHARDTOMAKE
DECISIONSWHENYOUKNOW
WHATYOURVALUESARE
2OY$ISNEY
47_ED245_US 47 31/7/06 4:57:26 pm
48_ED245_CMYK_ 48 11/4/06 6:38:15 pm

%STABLISH9OUR-OST)MPORTANT6ALUES
Some values will be more imporlanl lo you lhan olhers.
The mosl imporlanl values will be lhe ones lhal have lhe
mosl say in how you use your lime, so lhe nexl slep in
clarilying your priorilies lor your chosen area will be lo
discover your values hierarchy. The lrsl value lhal came
lo mind in lhe previous exercise may nol be lhe mosl
imporlanl. ln lacl, some ol lhe "submerged" values lhal
came al lhe end ol lhe lisl may be lhe ones lhal lurn oul
lo be mosl imporlanl lo you. Lliciling your values hierarchy
is simple. Jusl lake your lisl ol values lor a given area and
ask yoursell.
ll l could only have one ol lhese values in <area>, which
one would il have lo be?'
When you have idenliled lhal value, ask.
ll l could only have one more, which one would il be?
and so on, unlil you have all lhe values in order.
Look al lhe example below, using values lor
"Work and Career."
)NITIAL,IST
5rcyrer:
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c.ererce
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2EVISEDPRIORITYORDER

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c.ererce

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48_ED245_US 48 31/7/06 4:57:27 pm
49_ED245_CMYK_ 49 11/4/06 6:38:16 pm

-ONEYASA6ALUE
ll money comes oul al lhe lop ol lhe lisl, you may need
lo do some addilional work on your lisl. ldeally, money
would be a "means" value, one lhal is uselul because
having il helps lo lullll abslracl "ends" values. lor
example, having money mighl allow you lo have more
securily, or lreedom. Money does nol make a good "ends"
value. ll someone has money al lhe lop ol lheir values lisl,
lhey could end up wilh a large amounl ol money, bul lnd
lhal il means nolhing lo lhem.
+EEP9OUR0RIORITIES&LEXIBLE
The values lhal are mosl imporlanl lo you may change
over lime as your circumslances change. ll someone is
heavily in debl, money may be high on lheir scale ol
values. Once lhey have a comlorlable amounl in lhe bank,
money mighl be less imporlanl, and olher values move up
lhe lisl. The values hierarchy lhal you eliciled in Slage 2 is
a snapshol ol where you are al lhis poinl in lime.
KNOW YOUP VALULS
ll il's hard lo decide which is lhe more imporlanl ol lwo values,
use lhis melhod.
You can have EITHER one value or lhe olher, bul nol bolh.
Which does il have lo be?
You may lnd lhal a value in your inilial lisl lurns oul
lo be lhe same as, or a slighlly dillerenl aspecl ol, anolher
value. ll lhis happens, merge lhemso RESPECT and
RECOGNITION mighl become RESPECTRECOGNITION.
You can wrile lhe values on slicky noles lo make il easier lo

reorder lhemil also makes lhe process more physically
inleraclive, so il may give you a deeper conneclion wilh il.
$ECIDINGBETWEEN6ALUES
49_ED245_US 49 31/7/06 4:57:29 pm
50_ED245_CMYK_ 50 11/4/06 6:38:18 pm

#HECKFOR#LASHESBETWEEN6ALUES
Conlicling values (lor example, advenlure versus securily
in your career) can make you leel lorn belween lhem.
Here's how lo check lhal your values are compalible.
Take lhe lowesl value on your priorilized lisl and check
il againsl lhe one above il. Can you have bolh? ll you
leel lhal lhe lwo values cannol coexisl, mark an X al
lhe clash. Conlinue lo check lhe lowesl value againsl
every olher value, all lhe way up lhe lisl.
Then lake lhe nexl lowesl value, and check il againsl
each value above il in lurn.
Conlinue wilh lhe nexl lowesl value unlil you have
checked each value againsl all lhe values above il.
2EAD9OUR#HART
ln lhe sample charl below, lhe subjecl leels lhal
"enjoymenl" and "money," and "securily" and
"recognilion" are in conlicl wilh each olher. They need lo
ask more queslions lo resolve how lhe clashing values can
be mel, or lo decide on lhe more imporlanl ol lhe lwo.
)NTEGRITY -AKINGA -ONEY %NJOYMENT3ECURITY0EOPLE 2ECOGNITION
DIFFERENCE
)NTEGRITY
-AKINGA
DIFFERENCE
-ONEY
%NJOYMENT
3ECURITY
0EOPLE
2ECOGNITION
,EARNING
0OTENTIAL6ALUES#LASHES
50_ED245_US 50 31/7/06 4:57:30 pm
51_ED245_CMYK_ 51 11/4/06 6:38:19 pm

#HECKFORh!WAY&ROMv-OTIVATION
Molivalion can be loward whal you wanl, away lrom whal
you don'l wanl, or a mixlure ol lhe lwo. "Away lrom"
molivalion usually runs oul belore you reach your goal, so
you may lnd lhal values lhal are mainly "away lrom" will
nol be lulllled consislenlly. The key queslion lor delecling
lhe direclion ol molivalion in each value is "7HY is
<value> imporlanl?" ln lhe charl above, you can see a
range ol answers lo lhe queslion "Why is money
imporlanl?", alongside lhe molivalion underpinning each
one. Allhough "why?" is nol a uselul queslion lo ask in a
problem-solving silualion (il lends lo elicil eilher excuses
or juslilcalions), il is a valuable one when you are lrying lo
eslablish molivalion. To answer lhe queslion, you have lo
analyze lhe lhinking underpinning your aclions, and il will
become clear whal your molivalion is.
KNOW YOUP VALULS
7HAT9OUR!NSWERS3AYABOUT-OTIVATION
9/52!.37%2
"because l'.e beeu poo|, aud
l d|du' |||e |."
"because o a|| |e woude|u|
||us l cou|d do w|| |."
"we||, ,ou ueed roue,."

"l's bee| o |a.e roue,."
" because l cau bu, ||us, aud
l cau use | o beue peop|e,
aud | p|o.|des a sae, ue."
7(!4490%/&-/4)6!4)/.
"/wa, |or" ro|.a|ou
" !owa|d" ro|.a|ou
Coucea|ed "awa, |or" ro|.a|ou-
| ,ou sa, ,ou ueed sore||u, w|a
|s |ea||, ou ,ou| r|ud |s w|a w|||
|appeu | ,ou dou' |a.e |.
/uo|e| coucea|ed "awa, |or"-
bee| |au w|a1 !|au uo |a.|u |.
Vos|, "owa|d," w|| sore "awa,
|or"
"ECOMEMOREAWAREOFOTHERPEOPLES
MOTIVATIONBYNOTICINGTHEhTOWARDvANDhAWAYFROMv
CLUESINWHATTHEYSAY
4)0
51_ED245_US 51 31/7/06 4:57:31 pm
52_ED245_CMYK_ 52 11/4/06 6:38:21 pm

2ESOLVE6ALUES#ONmICTS
If you discovered IhaI Ivo of your vaIues conicI viIh
one anoIher, Ihere are severaI possibIe meIhods for you
Io Iry Io vork Iovard a resoIuIion.
3ATISFY"OTH6ALUES
Ask yoursell whal needs lo happen lo make il possible lo
salisly bolh values al lhe same lime. Then make il happen.
Allernalively, lake one ol lhe clashing values and ask
yoursell. "ll l have lhal value lully, whal would il give me
lhal is even more imporlanl?" This should give you a
higher value. Ask lhe same queslion unlil you can'l gel
any higher. Then do lhe same lhing wilh lhe olher value.
You may lnd lhal lhe higher values are more compalible
wilh one anolher lhan lhe lower ones were.
-OVINGTOh4OWARDv
Ask yoursell some searching queslions.
ll you are mainly locused on whal you wanl lo gel
away lrom or avoid, whal do you wanl inslead ol lhal?
ll you knew lhal you were complelely sale lrom whal
you wanl lo avoid, and lhere was no chance ol ils
happening, whal would lhal lree you up lo do?
ll your praclical and lnancial needs would be mel
whalever you did, whal would you wanl lo do?
0o|u a ood job aud qua||, |re
w|| ||s ar||, a|e bo| |rpo|au
o Yu||o. Fe ouud, |ou|, |a
sa,|u |ae a wo|| was ea|u
|uo ||s ar||, |re aud |e ||r
ee||u |eseuu| w|||e a wo||, aud
au|ous w|||e a |ore. |u ue||e|
p|ace was |e |.|u ||s bes.
#!3%STUDY2ECONCILINGTHE/PTIONS
s9UKIOLOOKEDATHISTIME
MANAGEMENTANDMADESOME
EFlCIENCYSAVINGSENABLINGHIM
TOGETAWAYFROMWORKEARLIER
s9UKIOLEARNEDTOBALANCETWO
CONmICTINGREQUIREMENTS!SHE
FELTLESSTENSEHISCREATIVITYAT
WORKACTUALLYIMPROVED
52_ED245_US 52 31/7/06 4:57:33 pm
53_ED245_CMYK_ 53 11/4/06 6:38:25 pm

5SEVISUALIZATIONTOGIVEYOURCONmICTINGVALUESTHEIROWN
VOICES3TEPOUTSIDEYOURSELFANDSEEHOWTHEYNEGOTIATE
WITHEACHOTHER"YOBJECTIFYINGYOURVALUESYOUWILLlNDIT
EASIERTOESTABLISHWHATISREALLYIMPORTANTTOYOU
lmagine you have one ol your values silling in lhe palm ol

your hand. Whal does il look like? Whal does ils voice sound
like? Do lhe same wilh lhe olher value, in lhe olher hand.
Ask one ol lhe values whal il is lrying lo do lor you and whal
is really imporlanl lo il. lmagine an answer lhal leels righl.
Pepeal lhe process wilh lhe olher value.
Ask lhe lwo values il lhey now realize lhal lhey bolh wanl lhe
besl lor you.
Ask each value lo lell lhe olher whal il needs lo know.
lmagine whal lhe lwo would look like il lhey merged.
When lhe values are as close as possible, lel your hands relax
as you lake lhe values back.
Take a lillle lime and ways
ol lulllling bolh may come
lo you.
'IVE9OUR6ALUES6OICES
0ERSONALIZE9OUR6ALUES^s lhey
acquire lheir owu voices, you will ud
il uuch easier lo acl as au objeclive
uedialor belweeu lheu.
53_ED245_US 53 31/7/06 4:57:34 pm

AYGSS_P054_055.indd 54 12/4/06 12:04:47 pm
3UMMARY+NOW9OUR6ALUES
The values lhal are imporlanl lo you, lhe abslracl concepls
such as love, lriendship, securily, or recognilion, provide
molivalion lor your aclions and help guide your decisions.
lor any area ol your lile lhal you wanl lo change, il is
helplul lo lhink aboul lhe values lhal inspire you in lhal area
ol your lileand lhe conlicls belween lhese concepls.
Merge lhe lwo values iulo
oue lhal coubiues bolh
aspecls o lhe value
^sk yoursel "why is lhis
iuporlaul lo ue1" uulil you
reach au abslracl coucepl
|iud lhe values lhal
are iuporlaul lo you or a
parlicular area o your lie
Check or values lhal are
ouly iuporlaul lo you
because lhey help you
achieve olher values
0o auy o lhe values seeu
lhe saue as, or very siuilar
lo, auolher value ou lhe lisl1
0o auy o lhe values express
a coucrele goal, ralher lhau
au abslracl coucepl1
Eslablish which o
lhese values are uosl
iuporlaul lo you
Replace lhese "ueaus"
values wilh lhe "euds"
values lhal lhey help achieve
N0
N0
YES
YES
+NOW9OUR6ALUES
0LANOF!CTION
54_ED245_US 54 31/7/06 4:57:39 pm

AYGSS_P054_055.indd 55 12/4/06 12:04:34 pm
35--!29 +./7 9/52 6!,5%3
Check or "away
rou" uolivaliou iu lhe
ual sel o values
Cau you chauge lhe silualiou
so you cau salisy bolh
values al lhe saue liue1
Make lhese chauges
happeu
visualize each couNicliug
value as au iudividual
"voice," aud acl as au
objeclive uedialor
belweeu lheu
Check or clashes
belweeu couNicliug values
aud resolve lheu
Look or lhe higher value
lhal is couuou lo bolh, aud
gel lheu, al lhe leasl, lo
agree lo work logelher
Modiy lhe wordiug o lhe
couNicliug values lo show
how lhey are coupalible
2ESOLVE6ALUE#ONmICTS
N0
YES
55_ED245_US 55 31/7/06 4:57:40 pm
56_ED245_CMYK_ 56 11/4/06 6:38:33 pm

The biggesl obslacles lo achieving our goals
are wilhin ourselves. To sel oul lor your goals
wilh conldence lhal you will achieve lhem,
you lrsl need lo lel go ol any limiling beliels
and clear oul any blocks wilhin yoursell. This
seclion will help you lo.
ldenlily and loosen up limiling beliels
Cel yoursell oul ol a rul
Deluse lhe lriggers lor problems
Handle your inner crilic
Deal wilh dillcull people

Clear
lhe
8locks
56_ED245_US 56 31/7/06 4:57:45 pm
57_ED245_CMYK_ 57 11/4/06 6:38:35 pm 57_ED245_US 57 31/7/06 4:57:46 pm
58_ED245_CMYK_ 58 11/4/06 6:38:37 pm

$EFEAT,IMITING"ELIEFS
AnyIhing you beIieve IhaI hoIds you back can be
described as a IimiIing beIief. II couId be a beIief abouI
your ovn capabiIiIies, abouI hov Ihe vorId vorks, or
abouI hov you or oIher peopIe shouId behave.
,OOKAT9OUR"ELIEFS
As a child, you lake your beliels lrom olher people. Once
you have some beliels in place, you use lhem as lhe basis
lor lorming new beliels. As soon as you slarl basing your
beliels on olher beliels, ralher lhan on lhe evidence ol
your senses, you lose lhe realily check lhal would make
you updale your beliels in lhe lighl ol new evidence. Whal
you lell yoursell acls like a sell-
hypnolic suggeslionil begins lo
inluence your view ol realily. This
is all lhe more insidious because
mosl ol lhe lime you are nol
consciously paying allenlion lo
your inlernal dialogue, so whal il is
saying goes unchallenged by your
conscious mind.
)DENTIFY,IMITING"ELIEFS
8ecoming aware ol beliels lhal you lnd limiling is lhe lrsl
slep lo changing lhem. They are nol always obvious, bul
lhey usually show up lrsl al a conscious level as leelings ol
discomlorl, irrilalion, or anxiely when lhinking aboul a
parlicular issue. lor example, il you're worried aboul
pulling yoursell lorward lor promolion al work, you could
say oul loud, "l can do lhal job easily." Your immediale
inner response mighl be "No l couldn'l, lhey'll see lhrough
me in a minulel don'l have enough experience," and so
on. So you could wrile down lhe lhree limiling beliels,
exaclly as you expressed lhem lo yoursell inlernally.
l couldn'l do lhal job
They'll see lhrough me
l don'l have enough experience
CLLAP THL 8LOCKS
/URLONGEST
HELDBELIEFS
MAYBETHE
MOSTLIMITING
58_ED245_US 58 31/7/06 4:57:47 pm
59_ED245_CMYK_ 59 11/4/06 6:38:39 pm

$%&%!4 ,) -) 4) .' "%,) %&3
#HALLENGE9OUR"ELIEFS
*USTWRITINGTHELIMITINGBELIEFSDOWNDISTANCESTHEMFROM
YOUANDSTARTSTOLOOSENTHEMUP3INCEYOUARENOW
AWAREOFTHEMYOUCANBEGINTOQUESTIONIFTHEYAREREALLY
TRUE,IMITINGBELIEFSAREOFTENINDICATEDBYRECURRINGWORDS
ANDPHRASESINWHATWESAY)FYOUlNDYOURSELFUSINGANY
OFTHESEPHRASESINYOURINTERNALDIALOGUEASKYOURSELFTHE
INDICATEDQUESTIONTOUNCOVERTHELIMITINGBELIEFAND
RECONNECTITWITHREALITY7ITHPRACTICEYOUWILLSOONlND
THATTHESEPHRASESRINGALARMBELLSFORYOUANDWARNYOUIF
YOUARESTRAYINGINTONEGATIVETHOUGHTPATTERNS
).$)#!4/27/2$ 7(!4)4).$)#!4%3!.$7(!4
/20(2!3% 4/!3+9/523%,&
'|ou|d, ou| o l ,ou |a.e |u|es o| |ow peop|e "s|ou|d" be|a.e,
,ou a|e se|u ,ou|se| up o| d|sappo|ureu w|eu
|e, dou' ||.e up o |ese sauda|ds. /s| ,ou|se|.
"w|a wou|d |appeu | l/|e, dou'1"
l rus, l |a.e o !||s wa, o ||u||u |ud|caes |a ,ou ee| corpe||ed
o do sore||u, |a|e| |au w||||u|, c|oos|u o do
|. bu a|e ,ou |ea||, corpe||ed1 !o uuco.e| w|a |s
be||ud ||s ee||u, as| ,ou|se|. "w|a w||| |appeu |
l dou'1"
Va|es re /s |u "'|e ra|es re au|,." !||s abd|caes ,ou|
pe|soua| |espous|b|||, b, assur|u |a auo|e|
pe|sou |as cou|o| o.e| ,ou| ee||us o| ac|ous.
/s| ,ou|se|. "Rea||,1 Fow d|d w|a s|e d|d o| sa|d
cause re o e au|,1"
l cau' l ||s reaus "l cau' do ||s ,e," as|. "w|a sops
,ou1" l | reaus "l dou' wau o," as|. "w|a
wou|d |appeu | ,ou d|d1"
/|wa,s, ue.e|, !||s |ud|caes a sweep|u eue|a||.a|ou, o w||c|
e.e|,oue, uobod, |e|e w||| usua||, be ecep|ous. Ius pu a ques|ou
ra|| ae| |e wo|d "a|wa,s1"
!|, "!|," |ud|caes |a ,ou a|e doubu|, o| |a ,ou ra,
uo succeed. lusead, sa, "l w|||."
#HECK9OUR3ELF4ALK
59_ED245_US 59 31/7/06 4:57:48 pm
056-073-ED245-AchieveGoals.indd 60 12/4/06 2:49:24 pm

,OOSEN,IMITING"ELIEFS
Lven il you have held some ol lhe beliels lhal limil you lor
a very long lime, you can slill loosen lhem comparalively
easily. Try lhe lollowing lechniques.
Turn lhem inlo queslions. Add a queslion mark onlo
lhe end ol each beliel and say il oul loud as a queslion.
This inlroduces doubl and makes you compare lhe
beliel wilh your currenl realilya lol may have
happened since you acquired lhe beliel originally and il
may no longer be lrue. ll you are doubllul aboul your
abilily lo do a job, lor example, saying "l don'l have
enough experience?" aulomalically makes you slarl
looking lor examples ol relevanl experience lrom your
work hislory up lo now.
Ask yoursell where lhe beliel came lrom. As children,
we inlernalize lhings lhal people lell us. Al an early age
we can'l use logic lo check lhe validily ol whal we are
lold, so we jusl accepl il. Think aboul when you lrsl
acquired lhal limiling belielil may be older lhan you
lhinkand who you gol il lrom. Now lhal you have
your adull wisdom and powers ol logic, would you slill
choose lo lake lhal beliel on board?
Ask yoursell whal lhe beliel is cosling you. ll you go
on believing lhis, whal will lhe negalive ellecl be? ll
you choose lo believe somelhing more empowering,
whal will you gain?
CLLAP THL 8LOCKS
THINK
3-!24
"YREFORMULATINGTHELIMITINGBELIEFASANASPIRATIONAL
QUESTIONYOUCANTURNITAROUND
l ,ou pu |e wo|ds "Fow cau l." |u |ou o |e
p|ob|era|c be||e, ,ou u|u | |uo a d||ec|ou o| ac|ou. fo|
earp|e, ,ou cau |ep|ace "l dou' |a.e |e |re" w|| "Fow
cau l ud |e |re1"
60_ED245_US 60 31/7/06 4:57:50 pm

Ask yoursell whal lhe beliel is lrying lo do lor you.
Whal is lhe posilive inlenlion behind lhal beliel? (lor
example, il may be lrying lo preserve you lrom
disappoinlmenl.) ls il achieving il? Try lo lhink ol ways
in which you can lel go ol lhe beliel bul achieve lhe
posilive oulcome il was lrying lo gel lor you.
Ask yoursell il everyone believes lhe same lhing. Does
everyone you know share lhis limiling beliel? ll you can
lhink ol someone who does nol, whal enables lhem lo
believe somelhing dillerenl? ll lhey can do il, lhen you
should be able lo, loo.
DLlLAT Ll Ml Tl NC 8LLl LlS
ll simply inslalling a new sel ol beliels seems loo hard lo you, lry
lhem oul by menlally rehearsing how lhey will leel. ll will help
you realize lhal il is possible lo change lhe way you lhink and acl.
ldenlily whal you would choose lo believe inslead ol lhe

limiling beliel.
Pun a menlal movie in which you see yoursell acling lrom lhe
new beliel, in a silualion where il is appropriale.
Pepeal lhe movie, making il more vivid each lime, unlil il

slarls lo look convincing.
Make any adjuslmenls you need lo.
Slep inlo lhe "you" in lhe movie and run il again, so lhal you
can leel whal il is like lo acl lrom lhe new beliel. Nolice how
lhings lurn oul dillerenlly.
Try oul acling on your new beliel in a non-lhrealening real-lile

silualion and nolice how lhings lurn oul dillerenlly.
2EHEARSING.EW"ELIEFS
Look back over your life history for repeating
patterns. When you learn from your mistakes, you
don't have to repeat them.
4)0
61_ED245_US 61 31/7/06 4:57:51 pm
62_ED245_CMYK_ 62 11/4/06 6:38:43 pm

$EALWITH0ROBLEMS
Any probIem has a Ihree-parI sIrucIure, vhich gives you
Ihree vays Io IackIe iI. change Ihe siIuaIion, change
hov you inIerpreI iI, or change your response Io iI. Even
if Ihe rsI is noI possibIe, Ihe oIher Ivo aIvays are.
3TAY2ELAXEDAND0OSITIVE
Somelimes your mind's allempls lo solve a problem can
aclually help lo keep lhe problem in place. lor example,
someone who has sullered a bad relalionship breakup may
lnd lhemselves pulling back emolionally when lheir new
parlner gels loo serious. This could resull in lhe breakup ol
lhe currenl relalionshiplhe very lhing lhey were lrying lo
avoid. Trying lo solve a problem by conlinually lurning il
over in your mind may embed il deeper. The "solulion
locus" approach in lherapy suggesls a dillerenl melhod. il
you locus your allenlion on whal lile would be like il lhe
problem were solved, you will be more likely lo lhink and
acl in ways lhal leave lhe problem behind.
&OCUSONTHE3OLUTION
Probleu
^cliou
Soluliou
Probleu
^cliou
Soluliou
7HATIS
)MPORTANT
| you lel lhe
probleu occupy all
lhe oregrouud, you
cau hardly see lhe
soluliou, reverse lhe
scale, aud lhe
soluliou is clear
CLLAP THL 8LOCKS
62_ED245_US 62 31/7/06 4:57:52 pm
63_ED245_CMYK_ 63 11/4/06 6:38:45 pm

5SETHE-IRACLE1UESTION
So whalever lhe problem you are lrying lo solve, ask
yoursell lhis queslion. "ll a miracle were lo happen lonighl
while l am asleep, so lhe problem was complelely solved,
whal is going lo lell me lhal lhe problem has gone away
when l wake up lomorrow?" Think around lhe answer,
giving il lhe lime il deserves, and go inlo as much delail as
possible on whal lhe solulion will seem like and how il will
change lhings. A good supplemenlary back-up queslion lo
gel you lhinking aboul how
you will be behaving
dillerenlly is. "How will
olher people around me be
able lo lell lhal lhis miracle
has happened?"
DLAL Wl TH PPO8LLMS
Somelimes you can lnd yoursell going over and over your
problems, leeling low in energy, and lelling yoursell lhal lhere is
nolhing lo look lorward lo. ll you ever gel inlo lhal kind ol rul,
here are some lried-and-lesled ways lo gel yoursell oul ol il.
%XERCISE. research shows lhal regular vigorous exercise produces
brain chemicals lhal have lhe ellecl ol making us leel good.
0LANTHINGSTOLOOKFORWARDTO. remember lo schedule lreals lor
yoursell even when you are busy and dislracled, lo avoid "emply
weekend" syndrome.
)NTERRUPTRECURRINGPATTERNS il you are gelling sluck in a
lamiliar pallern lhal is allecling your energy, inlerrupl il by doing
somelhing dillerenl. Cel some ideas by asking yoursell.
Whal would my lavorile TV characler do inslead?
Whal is lhe mosl oul-ol-characler lhing l could do?
Whal would a concerned lriend advise me lo do?

'ETTING9OURSELF/UTOFA2UT
i
i
4HEUNIVERSEISCHANGE
OURLIFEISWHATOUR
THOUGHTSMAKEIT
-ARCUS!URELIUS
63_ED245_US 63 31/7/06 4:57:54 pm
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3CALETHE0ROBLEM
Try lhis queslion. where would you place lhe problem you
are dealing wilh on a scale ol ! lo !0, where ! is lhe worsl
il has ever been and !0 is where you will be when lhe
problem is complelely solved? Assigning lhe number
aclivales lhe lell hemisphere ol lhe brain, which is more
associaled wilh posilive emolions lhan lhe righl. To move
loward aclion, ask whal would be dillerenl il you were
one number above your currenl raling. How would your
lhoughls, leelings, aclions, and lhe oulside world diller?
This will help you lo lake lhe lrsl slep loward a solulion.
5SE9OUR4HOUGHTSTO(ELP
Common sense lells us lhal il we lhink aboul unpleasanl
lhings, we leel bad, and il we lhink aboul pleasanl lhings,
we leel good. As we have already seen wilh lhe lechnique
lor making lhe mosl ol your good memories, lhe way lhal
we lhink aboul lhings has a big impacl on lhe inlensily ol
whal we leel aboul lhem.
CLLAP THL 8LOCKS
la| o Io|u's job |u.o|.ed |.|u
p|eseua|ous, aud |e o .e|,
ue|.ous abou |er. beo|e
eac| oue |e wou|d |uu ro.|es |u
||s |ead, w|| |e a|r o be|u
"p|epa|ed o| |e wo|s." because
|e ro.|es we|e "s|o" |or ||s
owu po|u o .|ew as p|eseue|,
|e e| ro|e au|ous |e ro|e
sceua||os |e |ra|ued. w|eu ||s
co||eaue suesed |e |, .|ew|u
|e reua| ro.|es as au objec|.e
obse|.e|, |a|e| |au a pa||c|pau,
|e becare ruc| |ess au|ous.
#!3%STUDY%LIMINATING!NXIETY
s*OHNFOUNDTHATADETACHED
POINTOFVIEWDISTANCEDHIMFROM
UNHELPFULEMOTIONS
s7ITHPRACTICEHECOULDSEE
HISFUTURESELFCOPINGCALMLYWITH
MISHAPSANDTOUGHQUESTIONS
(ISPRESENTATIONSWENTBETTER
BECAUSEHEWASLESSNERVOUS
s(EFOUNDHECOULDGETEVEN
BETTERRESULTSBYIMAGINING
PRESENTATIONSTHATWEREWELL
RECEIVEDBECAUSEMENTALLY
REHEARSINGSUCCESSMAKES
SUCCESSMORELIKELY
64_ED245_US 64 31/7/06 4:57:55 pm
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!LTER9OUR6IEWPOINT
/NEOFTHEMOSTPOWERFULWAYSTOALTERTHEIMPACTOF
AMENTALIMAGEISTOCHANGETHEPOINTOFVIEWFROMWHICH
YOULOOKATIT)FYOUAREVIEWINGAMEMORYFROMTHEPOINT
OFVIEWTHATYOUHADWHENITHAPPENEDSEEINGITTHROUGH
YOUROWNEYESYOUWILLlNDTHATYOUREVISITTHEMEMORY
EXACTLYASYOUREMEMBERITANDWILLPROBABLYALSOFEELTHE
EMOTIONTHATGOESWITHTHATMEMORY)FHOWEVERYOUTAKE
THEPOINTOFVIEWOFANIMPARTIALOBSERVERSOMEONE
LOOKINGATTHESCENEFROMTHEOUTSIDESOTHATRATHERTHAN
BEINGYOURSELFYOUARESEEINGANIMAGEOFYOURSELFYOU
WILLlNDTHATYOUAREAUTOMATICALLYMOREDETACHEDFROM
THEACCOMPANYINGEMOTION9OUCANREDUCETHEEMOTION
EVENMOREBYSENDINGTHEIMAGEFARTHERAWAYINYOUR
PERCEPTUALSPACEBYDRAININGTHECOLOROUTOFITANDBY
MAKINGITDIMMERBLURRIERORMOREFADED0RACTICETHISWAY
OFTHINKINGREGULARLYSOTHATWHENYOUREALLYNEEDTO
SWITCHYOURVIEWPOINTYOUCANDOSOEASILY
$%!, 7) 4( 02/",%-3
!LTERINGYOURMENTALIMAGESISASKILLTHATYOU
CANLEARNFAIRLYQUICKLYEMOTIONALLYNEUTRALIMAGES
AREEASIERTOPRACTICEON
4)0
1each yourseIf to defuse the
impact of a negative image.
!||u| o a ood |a d|suss
,ou. /s ,ou .|sua||.e |e |rae,
ra|e a reua| uoe o |ow
|ueuse ,ou| ee||u o d|sus |s.
1 No|ce |ow b| |e p|cu|e |s.
2 No|ce |ow co|o|u| | |s.
3 ls | ro.|u o| s|||1
4 ls | ||eed|reus|oua| o| a1
5 Now ra|e |e |rae sra||e|
aud a||e| awa, |or ,ou,
wo|| ou ra||u | a, d|r,
rouoc||ore, aud s|||.
6 No|ce |ow |ueuse ,ou|
ee||u o d|sus |s uow. You
s|ou|d ud |a | |as |educed
|u s|eu|.
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
65_ED245_US 65 31/7/06 4:57:56 pm

$EFUSE0ROBLEM4RIGGERS
Like everyone else, you will undoubledly have some
lriggers lor aulomalic responses, bul while many responses
will be nearly universalil you are oul driving and you see
a red lighl ahead, lor example, il's likely lhal you, like every
olher driver, will lnd yoursell aulomalically wanling lo
brakeolhers will be highly personalized and will be yours
alone. You probably know whal lhey are, bul il is possible
lo learn some elleclive ways ol delusing lhem and robbing
lhem ol lheir power over you. Some ol lhe lrigger-
response pairings you have picked up along lhe way may
be parlicularly unhelplul il lhey allach lhemselves lo
broader silualions. lor example, il, as a child, you originally
slarled lo leel anxious when you saw a lrown on your
parenl's lace, bul now lnd lhal lhal anxiely is lapped by
almosl anyone lrowning al you, lrom your boss lo a
parking allendanl, you need lo lake some aclion lo
diminish lhe power ol lhal parlicular lrigger.
CLLAP THL 8LOCKS
Use this technique to get rid
of an unwanted emotionaI
response, or to defuse the
trigger for a bad habit. It
instaIIs a fresh sequence of
mentaI associations.
1 !a|e a reua| p|cu|e o |e
"||e|" s|ua|ou. w|a ||e|s
|e |espouse1
2 Le o o |a p|cu|e, aud see
,ou|se| as ,ou w||| be w|eu ,ou
|a.e o.e|core |a p|ob|er.
Va|e |e p|cu|e b||| aud
corpe|||u, so ,ou e a ood
ee||u as ,ou |oo| a |.
3 '|||u| |e ood p|cu|e o a
powe|u| sra|| |rae
4 Loo| a |e "||e|" p|cu|e, ||s
|re w|| |e pos||.e |rae |u a
|owe| co|ue|. Va|e |e ||e|
p|cu|e d|sappea|, aud epaud
|e pos||.e |rae o u|| s|.e,
ra||u a "'w|sss|!" souud o
erp|as|.e |e ec|aue.
5 Fo|d o| a roreu, |eu b|au|
,ou| reua| sc|eeu.
6 Repea .e |res |u qu|c|
success|ou.
7 Loo| a |e ||e| p|cu|e aa|u.
You w||| ud |a ,ou| |espouse
o | |s wea|e|.
t
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
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-ANYPEOPLEAREHELDBACKFROMREACHINGTHEIRFULL
POTENTIALBYANINNERVOICEALSOKNOWNASTHEhCHATTERBOXv
ORhGREMLINvTHATCONSTANTLYNAGSATTHEM
You can reduce lhe impacl ol lhis voice. Where is il coming lrom?
Mosl people locale il in lheir heads. Whal does il say, and how do
you leel aboul il? Whal kind ol impacl would il have il.
ll was coming lrom your righl big loe inslead?
ll had a very high-pilched voice?
ll was louder? Or quieler?
ll came lrom oulside your body allogelher?
ll had lhe voice ol a well-known carloon characler?
ll had a humorous lone, wilh a chuckle in ils voice?
ll had a kindly, nurluring lone?

Which one worked besl lor you? How does il leel lo realize lhal
you can change lhe impacl lhal lhe inner crilic has on how you
leel? And when will lhis be mosl uselul lo you?
$EALINGWITH9OUR)NNER#RITIC
%VERYONEHASAN)NNER#RITIC ^llhough everyoue has a voice lhal diuiuishes
lheir coudeuce al liues, how uuch alleuliou you pay lo your uegalive iuuer
crilic is eulirely up lo you-il's wilhiu your coulrol.
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AYGSS_P068_069.indd 68 12/4/06 10:48:38 am
#,%!2 4(% ",/#+3
3UMMARY$EALINGWITH0ROBLEMS
4URNINGPROBLEMSOVERANDOVERINYOURHEADCANQUICKLY
BECOMECOUNTERPRODUCTIVEMAKINGASITUATIONFEELMORE
DIFlCULTTHANITACTUALLYIS4HEKEYTODEALINGWITHPROBLEMS
ISTOSTAYFOCUSEDONTHESOLUTIONREMAINRELAXEDANDPOSITIVE
ANDNOTLETYOURPERSONALGREMLINSTAKECONTROL
|ocus ou whal your lie
would be like i lhe
probleu were lo be solved
use your auswers lo
ocus ou possible solulious
lo lhe probleu
^sk yoursel lhe uiracle
quesliou. i lhe
probleu disappeared
louorrow, how would
you be able lo lell1
&OCUSON
THE3OLUTION
0el pleuly o heallhy,
uoodboosliug exercise lo
help you slay posilive
|ulerrupl recurriug pallerus
o lhoughl aud acliou
by doiug souelhiug diereul
Plau lhiugs lo look
orward lo lhal will help
keep your uiud o lhe
probleu
$ONT,ET9OURSELF
'ETINTOA2UT
0LANOF!CTION
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AYGSS_P068_069.indd 69 12/4/06 10:48:24 am

35--!29 $%!,) .' 7) 4( 02/",%-3
0o you have au iuuer crilic
who preveuls you rou
dealiug wilh probleus
coudeully1
Reduce ils power over you
by chaugiug lhe characler,
loue, or localiou o ils voice
0o you have parlicular
lriggers lhal spark a
probleu respouse1
^sk yoursel whal
you would be doiug
diereully i lhe probleu
was oue uuuber above
lhe curreul raliug
Rale lhe probleu lhal
you are dealiug wilh ou
a scale o 1 lo 10 (where
10 is beller)
|s il lhe way you look al lhe
probleu lhal uakes you
eel auxious1
Swilch your viewpoiul so
lhal you are lookiug al il
rou lhe perspeclive o au
iuparlial observer
use lhe "Swisssh"
lechuique lo deuse
probleu lriggers
!LTER9OUR6IEWPOINT
N0
YES
N0
N0
YES
YES
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$EALWITH/THER0EOPLE
5omeIimes iI can seem as if Iife vouId be perfecI if you
didn'I have Io deaI viIh Ihe difcuII peopIe around you.
uI do Ihose peopIe Ihink of IhemseIves as difcuII?
Very fev peopIe deIiberaIeIy seI ouI Io be avkvard.
+EEPAN/BJECTIVE6IEW
Someone wilh whom you have a problem may be regarded
as easygoing by someone else. Lqually, you may somelimes
appear lo be lhe "dillcull" one wilhoul realizing il. You
show dillerenl aspecls ol yoursell lo your parlner, your
colleagues, your children, and your lriends. Whal lhey
perceive is lheir menlal image ol you, lllered by previous
memories, associalions, and lheir own beliels aboul lhe
lype ol person you are. This works bolh waysso lhal
when you have a problem wilh somebody, you are really
having a problem wilh your image ol lhem.
%VERY$ISPUTEHAS4HREE6IEWPOINTS
When you are locked in any kind ol conlicl wilh someone
else, il is hard lo keep lhe menlal lexibilily lo lnd crealive
ways lo resolve il. The slronger your emolion, lhe more
rigid and sel your lhinking lends lo become. The key lo
remaining lexible enough lo give yoursell more choice
CLLAP THL 8LOCKS
THINK
3-!24
,OOKATARECENTDISAGREEMENTFROMEACHOFTHETHREE
VIEWPOINTSSTARTINGWITHYOUROWN
b ca|eu| o |e o o au, ee||us |or oue .|ewpo|u beo|e
sepp|u |uo |e ue. !o e |e bes ou o ||s ee|c|se,
ra|| ou |e ||ee .|ewpo|us as sepa|ae p|aces |u |e |oor,
aud p|,s|ca||, ro.e |or oue o auo|e|. /e| .|ew|u |e
d|spue |or |e deac|ed o.e|.|ew pos||ou, w|a ad.|ce
wou|d ,ou |.e o |e ",ou" |u |e |s .|ewpo|u1
70_ED245_US 70 31/7/06 4:58:28 pm
71_ED245_CMYK_ 71 11/4/06 6:39:00 pm

DLAL Wl TH OTHLP PLOPLL
aboul your response is lo praclice looking al lhe conlicl
lrom lhree dillerenl viewpoinls. your own, lhe olher
person's, and a delached overview.
"RING7ISDOMTO#ONmICTS
Celling sluck in any one ol lhese lhree posilions, so lhal
you only see lhe silualion lrom one poinl ol view, has
disadvanlages. Wisdom comes lrom being able lo move
lreely belween lhe viewpoinls, and in being able lo lel go
ol lhe leelings arising lrom one viewpoinl belore moving
lo anolher, so you can see lhe silualion wilh lresh eyes.
Teach yoursell lo swilch belween dillerenl viewpoinls lexibly in
order lo gain lhe broadesl possible view ol any silualion. Lach
viewpoinl has ils own advanlages and disadvanlages.
(OWTHE6IEWPOINTS7ORK
!$6!.4!'%3
9OUROWNPOINTOFVIEW Cood o|
|uow|u w|a ,ou wau, |uow|u |ow
,ou ee| abou ||us, aud o| saud|u
,ou| |ouud |r|,.
4HEOTHERPERSONSPOINTOFVIEW
Cood o| see|u c|ea||, w|a |e o|e|
pe|sou waus, aud o| erpa|,, ra,
|e|p ,ou o see |ow ,ou appea|
o |er.
!DETACHEDOVERVIEW Cood o|
|oo||u a ||us objec|.e|,, ca|r|u
dowu, see|u |e |ue|ac|ou as a w|o|e
s,ser, aud uo|u |s w|de| cousequeuce.
$)3!$6!.4!'%3
9OUROWNPOINTOFVIEW Cau |ead
o se|s|uess o| a||oauce, ,ou ra,
|ac| awa|euess o |ow ,ou appea|, aud
use o|e|s o| ,ou| owu euds.
4HEOTHERPERSONSPOINTOFVIEW
Cau |ead o pass|.e be|a.|o|, o|, |u
e|ere cases, a ra|,|ed app|oac| |u
w||c| ,ou see o|e|s' .|ewpo|us so
c|ea||, |a ,ou a|wa,s pu |er |s.
!DETACHEDOVERVIEW Lac||u
uude|saud|u o |ow |e pa||c|paus
|u |e s|ua|ou ee|. !||s .|ewpo|u cau
|ead ,ou o core ac|oss as co|d.
!DVANTAGESAND$ISADVANTAGES
71_ED245_US 71 31/7/06 4:58:29 pm
72_ED245_CMYK_ 72 11/4/06 6:39:05 pm
$EALWITH#RITICISM
Hov do you respond Io criIicaI commenIs? Do you Iake
Ihem Io hearI, or sIop Ihem aI arm's IengIh and examine
Ihem Io see if Ihey are Irue? Hov abouI compIimenIs?
Do you IreaI Ihem in Ihe same vay, or differenIIy?
4REAT#RITICISMAS&EEDBACK
ll is very common lor people lo lake crilicism immedialely
lo hearl, whelher il is well lounded or nol, bul lo hold
complimenls al a dislance unlil lhey have analyzed lhem.
A more successlul recipe lor happiness is lo do lhe
opposilelo accepl complimenls lreely while subjecling
crilicisms lo carelul scruliny. To exlracl lhe uselul learning
lrom a crilical remark, lollow lhis simple lwo-slep process.
Menlally delach yoursell lrom lhe emolional impacl ol
lhe crilicism. lmagine you are rising above lhe person
making lhe crilicism and looking down al lhem.
Ask yoursell. "Whal do l need lo learn lrom lhis?"
You may lnd lhal you learn as much aboul lhe person
ollering lhe crilicism as you do aboul yoursell.
3TAY0OSITIVE ^ ualure allilude lo crilicisu-lhal il is iuvaluable eedback-is
a useul lool iu lie. |uslead o becouiug deeusive wheu crilicized, aiu lo reuaiu
opeu lo couueul, aud lo aualyze il caluly.
72_ED245_US 72 31/7/06 4:58:31 pm
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h0ROJECTIONvISATHERAPYTERMTHATDESCRIBESTHEPERCEPTION
OFYOUROWNFEELINGSINANOTHERPERSONWITHOUTTHE
REALIZATIONTHATYOURINTERPRETATIONISREALLYABOUTYOU
Assume lor a momenl lhal lhe reason
you are able lo recognize a qualily you
dislike in someone else is because you
have some ol lhal qualily yoursell. This
idea works bolh wayseven il you
don'l realize il, il means lhal you also
have al leasl lraces ol lhe qualilies lhal
you admire in olher people.
5SE0ROBLEMATIC0EOPLEAS0RACTICE
Lveryone, no maller how obnoxious lhey seem, is acling lrom a
posilive inlenlion loward lhemselves. Viewing "dillcull" people
lrom lhis perspeclive makes il easier lo undersland lhem. Take lhis
principle one slep lurlher and realize lhal lhey are giving you an
opporlunily lo learn. Some ol lhe mosl valuable lessons you have
learned will have come lrom learning lo handle dillcull people
perhaps a grumpy colleague who unknowingly gave you praclice
in drawing a person oul ol lhemselves. Try running lhrough lhis
exercise a lew limes, using a dillerenl person as your example
each lime, lo increase your underslanding.
Think ol a person who does somelhing lhal irrilales you, or

behaves in a way lhal you don'l like.
Whal is lhe posilive inlenlion behind lheir behavior? See

yoursell briely lhough lheir eyes. Whal do you learn lrom lhis
dillerenl viewpoinl?
ll lhal person's behavior had a posilive inlenlion loward you

behind il, whal would lhal posilive inlenlion be? Whal
posilive lessons do you need lo learn lrom your inleraclion
wilh lhal person?
Ask yoursell. "How am l like lhal person? When do l behave

like lhal?"
"E!WAREOF0ROJECTION
DLAL Wl TH CPl Tl Cl SM
$IFlCULT
PEOPLEMAKE
THEBEST
TEACHERS
73_ED245_US 73 31/7/06 4:58:32 pm
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Now lhal you are clear aboul your values and
have loosened any limiling beliels, you can
lrm up your goals and bring lhem lo lile in
a way lhal will enlisl your unconscious mind
lo help make il happen. lnslalling a vibranl
image ol your goal inlo your lulure will
lurbocharge your molivalion and keep you
locused on doing whalever il lakes lo achieve
lhem. This seclion guides you lhrough.
Why selling goals is imporlanl
Whal works in goal-selling
The lve condilions ol successlul goals
How lo make your goal compelling
How lo inslall goals inlo your lulure
Creale
lhe Vision
You Wanl
74_ED245_US 74 31/7/06 4:58:39 pm
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76_ED245_CMYK_ 76 11/4/06 6:39:20 pm

3ET9OUR'OALS
WiIhouI goaIs you vouId jusI be drifIing aimIessIy, aI
Ihe mercy of vhaIever evenIs come aIong in your Iife.
You need Io have a cIear idea abouI vhere you vanI Io
be in order Io Iake Ihe acIion needed Io geI Ihere.
5SE'OALSTO'IVE9OU$IRECTION
8y conlrasl, when you know whal your goals are, you
know lhe palh you have lo lollow lo gel lhereand you
have somelhing lo aim al, so you can make correclions
il you gel blown oll course. A sense ol purpose is a
lundamenlal human need. Wilhoul purpose or meaning in
your lile, you become unhappyas you will know il you
have spenl any lenglh ol
lime in an unlulllling job.
Wilh goals, you become
more lexible and resilienl
and beller able lo cope
wilh changing condilions as
you conlinually develop.
&REE-ENTAL%NERGY
ll you lnd il hard lo lhink
ol aclivilies lhal would be
enjoyable, you need lo lree
some menlal energy. Cul
oul aclivilies lhal may be
pleasurable, bul don'l
oller you enjoymenl.
Culling down on lelevision
walching would be a good
slarl. Swilch oll a soap
opera you walch regularly
and you'll already have
lreed up lve hours a week
lhal you could spend
enriching your relalionships
wilh real people.
,OOKTOTHE&UTURE
^ssess where you are uow
|ix ou your lougleru goals
over a sel liue period
halway lhrough lhe period you
have sel, assess your progress
^djusl your uediuuleru goals
i uecessary. |ix ou your uexl sel
o lougleru goals
CPLATL THL Vl Sl ON YOU WANT
76_ED245_US 76 31/7/06 4:58:41 pm
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SLT YOUP COAL S
Aller exlensive research, lhe psychologisl Mihaly Csikszenlmihalyi
concluded lhal we are happiesl in "low" slales, in which we are
complelely absorbed in whal we are doing. Characlerislic ol a
low slale is lhe locus lhal comes lrom having a delned goal. The
slrelch we lnd in going lor an ambilious goal gives us enjoymenl,
and enjoymenl is dillerenl lrom pleasure, which is merely lhe
leeling ol conlenlmenl we gel whenever we salisly biological or
socially condilioned expeclalionswilh alcohol, drugs, or malerial
possessions. Pleasure leaves us unchanged, enjoymenl is a sign
lhal we are growing and developing. Some examples would be.
Making a success ol a crucial presenlalion
Training lor and running a maralhon
Peading an inspiralional book lhal changes your poinl ol view

"OOST9OUR3ELF%STEEM
A psychology sludy al Washinglon Universily in Sl. Louis
lound lhal people's sell-esleem varies according lo
whelher on a lypical day lhey lhink moslly aboul lhe pasl,
lhe presenl, or lhe lulure. People wilh high sell-esleem
who leel good mosl ol lhe lime locus mainly on posilive
evenls in lhe lulure, while people wilh low sell-esleem
and a lol ol negalive leelings lhink more aboul unpleasanl
evenls in lhe pasl. ll you leel you have learned lrom pasl
evenls, you will lnd il easier lo move on and nol dwell on
aspecls lhal didn'l work and which you now cannol
change. Learning lrom lile as you go is an elleclive way lo
avoid relrospeclive regrels aboul "whal mighl have been."
1ry out new, exciting experiences to get ideas
and broaden your horizons. 5ometimes you don't
know what you want until you've tried it.
4)0
#HOOSE%NJOYMENTOVER0LEASURE
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-AKE'OAL3ETTING7ORK
Changing your habiIs is noI easy-years of pracIice viII
have embedded Ihem inIo your neuraI circuiIry. In order
Io overcome Ihe inerIia IhaI ve are aII famiIiar viIh, iI's
essenIiaI Io have a cIear vision of vhere you vanI Io be.
%NGAGE9OUR5NCONSCIOUS-IND
When you have a vision lhal you can see, hear, and leel, il
engages you on more lhan jusl an inlelleclual level. ll gives
you lhe emolional molivalion you will need lo gel lhrough
selbacks and overcome inerlia. Selling a goal in lhe righl
way ollers a lemplale or "allraclor" lor your unconscious
mind, which sels up lhe allenlion mechanisms in your
brain lo nolice lhe people and opporlunilies lhal can help
you gel closer lo where you wanl lo be. ll also allows you
lo evaluale lhe changes in your surroundings so lhal you
will be aware ol whelher you are gelling closer lo your
desired oulcome, or moving larlher away lrom il.
$ISTINGUISHBETWEEN'OALSAND&EELINGS
"l wanl lo be happy" is nol a goal. You can be happy righl
now, lor al leasl a shorl while, by bringing lo mind a
happy lime in your lile, or a person you like. This happens
inslanlly and is accomplished by your inlernal response lo
happy or posilive lhoughls. Coals, by conlrasl, involve
changes in lhe exlernal world around youyou aclually
have lo make somelhing happen lo achieve mosl goals,
and lhis will lake lime.
&EELINGSVERSUS'OALS
&%%,).'/26!,5%SUCHAS
hHAPPINESSv
6AGUE
9OUCANHAVEITNOW
.OSTEPSORPLANNINGREQUIRED
!BSTRACT
'/!,SUCHAShPROMOTED
BYTHEENDOFTHISYEARv
3PECIlC
)TWILLTAKETIMETOACHIEVE
3TEPSARENEEDEDTOGETTHERE
-EASURABLE
78_ED245_US 78 31/7/06 4:58:44 pm
79_ED245_CMYK_ 79 11/4/06 6:39:25 pm

)TMAYBETHATYOUHAVEKNOWNFORALONGTIMEWHATYOUR
GOALSARE!LTERNATIVELYYOUMAYHAVESTARTEDWITHONLYA
VAGUENOTIONTHATYOUWANTTHINGSTOBEDIFFERENTFROMHOW
THEYHAVEBEENUPTONOW

ll your goals are nol yel as clear as you would like lhem lo be,
here are some ways ol gelling slarled.
Tille lhree sheels ol paper wilh "Things lhal l wanl more ol,"
"Things lhal l wanl lo keep as lhey are," and "Things lhal l
wanl less ol." Divide each sheel inlo lwo columns and wrile
as many enlries as you can in lhe lell-hand column, wilh your
reasons lor each enlry in lhe righl-hand column.
Think aboul people you admire. Whal is il lhal you admire?

How could you be more like lhem?
A leeling can be a slarling poinl lor drawing up your goals. ll

you wanl lo be happier, whal achievable changes would make
il easy lor you lo be happy?
lmages may be easier lo work wilh lhan words. Use magazine

piclures lhal appeal lo you lo creale a collage represenling
your goal.
%NVISAGING9OUR'OALS
4HINGS)WANTMOREOF
s 3PARETIMETOSPEND
WITHMYKIDS
s 0LAYINGGOLF
s #HALLENGINGWORK
PROJECTS
7HY
s 4HEYAREONLYYOUNGFOR
ASHORTTIME
s %XERCISEANDFUN
s 4OSHOWWHAT)HAVE
TOOFFER
3AMPLE,IST wriliug dowu whal you waul uore o, aud why you waul il, will
help you lo cousolidale your goals.
MAKL COAL-SLT Tl NC WOPK
79_ED245_US 79 31/7/06 4:58:45 pm
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7EAREALLAFFECTEDBYOURSURROUNDINGSTOSOMEEXTENTAND
THEENVIRONMENTWECREATEFOROURSELVESMIRRORSOURINNER
STATEOFMIND!CLUTTEREDSPACEWILLDRAINYOURENERGY
Clearing superluous cluller is one easy
way lo give your energy a boosl and lo
slarl lreeing yoursell lrom pasl
baggage so you can look lo lhe lulure.
Slarl wilh lhe small slull. To gel

pasl lhe leeling ol being
overwhelmed, slarl wilh your junk
drawer. ll will inspire you lo move
on lo lhe bigger slull.
Clear oul anylhing nol used or loved. Under normal

circumslances, il you have nol used an ilem in lhe pasl year,
lhen you will nol use il again.
Sel yoursell a lime limil. ll you have somelhing lhal is

unlnished or needing repair, sel yoursell a period ol lime lo
gel il lxed. ll by lhen il's slill unlnished, il has lo go!
Pecycle ilems lhal are "loo good lo lhrow oul." ll is nol easy
lor mosl people lo jusl lhrow somelhing awayso recycle il
lo lriends, schools, or charilies who will aclually use il.
"One in, one oul." Once you have cleared, mainlain lhal
cluller-lree slale wilh a rule lhal you clear space lor whalever
you bring inlo your home by clearing oul somelhing else.
Cel slarled! The momenl you slarl, you will leel lighler and
empowered lo conlinue. Olher people around you will be
molivaled lo clear lheir cluller. Your home or workspace will
leel lhe benells and appear lull ol posilive energy.
5et your goals at the right level. lf you never
achieve any of them, your sights are set too high; if you
always achieve all of them, they are set too low.
4)0
&REE5P9OUR%NERGYBY$ECLUTTERING
$ECLUTTERING
ISEASYONCE
YOUGET
STARTED
80_ED245_US 80 31/7/06 4:58:46 pm
81_ED245_CMYK_ 81 11/4/06 6:39:29 pm

$ISTINGUISHBETWEENh.EEDvANDh7ANTv
Philosophies such as 8uddhism lalk aboul lhe need lor
non-allachmenl lo lhe resulls you gel, so lhal you don'l
gel upsel il lhings do nol work oul lhe way you wanled.
ln lacl, being allached lo a goalneeding il lo happen
arises when you have a menlal image ol lhe goal, bul also
anolher menlal image, ol nol reaching lhe goal, which is
al leasl as slrong. You may nol be consciously aware ol
lhe negalive imagebul il is always lhere. The "away
lrom" molivalion lhal lhis creales will gel in lhe way ol
achieving lhe goal. 8y conlrasl, when you wanl your goal
lo happen bul you will be composed il il does nol, you
only have a posilive menlal image. Your molivalion will be
"loward," which is more direcled
and less slresslul.

5SE3-!24'OALS
WITH#ARE
ll you are in business you will
probably have come across lhe
S.M.A.P.T. approach, which slales
lhal goals should be Specilc,
Measurable, Achievable, Pealislic
and Timed. These are all necessary
crileria lor success, bul lhey leave
oul an imporlanl laclor. do you
care whelher you achieve lhe
goal? ln lhe environmenl where
lhe S.M.A.P.T. approach originaled
lhere was no shorlage ol "away
lrom" molivalion. ll you did nol
carry oul your lasks, you would be
lred. When you are selling goals
lor yoursell, you need an approach
lhal engages your unconscious
mind and harnesses lhe power ol
"loward" molivalion.
MAKL COAL-SLT Tl NC WOPK
MINUTE
&)8
)NASITUATIONIN
WHICHYOUNEEDTO
ASSESSMOTIVATION
FASTBEFOREYOUACT
MAKEAQUICKCHECK
You cau esab||s| |a
,ou a|e us|u |e
|||-"owa|d" -
ro|.a|ou b, as||u
,ou|se|.
L
w|a w||| ||s oa|
a|u o| re1
L
w||| l |ose au,||u |
l |eac| r, oa|1
You| a|us s|ou|d be
|eae| |au ,ou|
|osses, aud s|ou|d be
p|aced |r|, |u |e
uu|e.
81_ED245_US 81 31/7/06 4:58:48 pm
82_ED245_CMYK_ 82 11/4/06 6:39:31 pm

&INDA2OUTETO3UCCESSFUL'OALS
y nov you viII have some goaIs in mind. You may have
had dened ouIcomes aII aIong, if noI, Ihey viII have
become cIearer as you vorked on your vaIues or vorked
Ihrough Ihe envisaging process on Ihe previous pages.
#REATEA#HECKLIST
There are many dillerenl lormulas lor goal-selling
checklisls. One ol lhe mosl elleclive, bolh lor precision
and lor engaging your emolional commilmenl, is lhe
lormula known as lhe P.O.W.L.P. process. Co lhrough lhe
lellers ol lhe word "Power" slep by slep, as described on
lhe lollowing pages. You are lnding oul il your goal will
meel lhe crileria lhal lell you lhal il is achievable.
0/7%2THE+EYWORDS
0
/
7
%
2
0OSITIVETHINKING
/WNYOURGOAL
SPECIFY7HATAND7HEN
CONSIDERALLTHE%FFECTS
ENSURETHATTHE2OUTEISKNOWNANDFEASIBLE
00OSITIVE4HINKING
This is aboul lhe need lo be carelul wilh lhe words you
use when you wrile your goal down, and even when you
lhink lo yoursell aboul il. Selling a goal gives your
unconscious a largel lo work loward. This acls as a sel ol
inslruclions lor deciding whal aspecls ol your environmenl
are worlh giving allenlion lowhich evenls, lhings, and
people you will decide lo nolice because lhey could help
you lo reach your goal, and which will nol make il onlo
your radar because lhey are irrelevanl. Pemember lhal lhe
unconscious does nol recognize a negalive. So il you slale
your goal as "l don'l wanl lo be in lhis unlulllling job a
year lrom now," lhe menlal image you have lrom lhis
wording is slill ol lhe currenl, unlulllling job.
82_ED245_US 82 31/7/06 4:58:49 pm
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'ETTHE*OB$ONE
Making sure you keep lhe
word "nol" oul ol your
goal slalemenl is nol
enough by ilsell. Your could reslale your goal as "l wanl lo
be oul ol lhis job in a year." This lakes "nol" oul ol lhe
equalion, bul il is slill a slalemenl ol whal you wanl lo
gel away lrom. ll is incomplele, because il says nolhing
aboul whal you wanl lo move loward. Your unconscious is
a precise inslrumenl. usually il will do ils besl lo lullll
exaclly whal you ask ol ilbul no more. ll in a year you
are unemployed, whalever you are consciously lhinking,
your unconscious will regard lhe resull as a job compleled,
because il has given you exaclly whal you asked. You need
lo modily your goal slalemenl lo ensure lhal your
unconscious underslands your end aim.
"ln a year, l wanl lo be in a job lhal pays beller, is more
enjoyable, and has beller prospecls."
While lhis is nol yel specilc enough lo be a well-
lormed goal slalemenl, al leasl il is now poinling you in
lhe righl direclion lor aclion.
ll ND A POUTL TO SUCCLSSlUL COAL S
2ELEASE9OUR0OWER!CLEARVISION
OFYOURGOALSISTHEKEYTOACCESSING
THEFULLENERGYOFYOURINTERNALDRIVE
83_ED245_US 83 31/7/06 4:58:51 pm
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//WN9OUR'OAL
Whose goal is il? You will only be lruly engaged wilh il il il
is yours. ll you are lrying lo live up lo someone else's idea
ol who you should be, you are bound lo have some
unconscious resislanceunless your vision lor yoursell
exaclly coincides wilh lheirs. Ownership is also aboul
being able lo bring lhe goal aboul by your own aclions.
ll would be poinlless lo sel "winning lhe lollery"
as a goal, because once you have boughl a lickel, lhe
oulcome is enlirely oul ol your hands. Whal answers do
you gel lo lhese queslions.
Whal can l do lo bring lhis goal aboul by my own
aclions?
Whal can l do lo inluence lhe oulcome?
Whal do l need lo do lo achieve lhis goal?
73PECIFY7HATAND7HEN
Now you need lo make sure your goal is expressed
precisely, because whalever you ask lor is exaclly whal
your unconscious mind will work lo provide lor you. Delne
lhe goal so lhal bolh your inlellecl and your unconscious
mind know exaclly whal you wanl and begin lo work
cooperalively lo gel il lor you.
Make sure lhe goal is quanlilable
Whal will be dillerenl when you have your goal?
Taking money as an example, "l wanl lo be richer" is nol a
well-lormed goal. How much richer? Whal lorm will lhal
weallh be in? ll your goal is lo have a cerlain income, is
lhal aller laxes or belore? ll your goal is lo buy a new
house, where will lhal house be? How many rooms? Whal
crileria will lhe localion have lo salisly? Wrile all lhese
poinls down. Then make a sensory image ol your goal.
ln your imaginalion, pul
yoursell in lhe silualion ol
having lhe goal. See il
lhrough your own eyes, as
vividly as you can.
i
w
"ECAREFULWHATYOU
WISHFOR
4RADITIONAL#HINESESAYING
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Make sure lhal you have delailed and salislaclory answers
lo all ol lhe lollowing queslions, and lhal you have a clear
piclure ol your goal in your mind's
eye. lill in colors, sounds, and
scenls as you go.
Where are you?
Who else is lhere?
Whal are you doing?
Whal do you see, hear, leel,
lasle, and smell now lhal you
have your goal?
This delailed visualizalion perlorms lhree lunclions. ll
brings lhe menlal image ol your goal lo lile in a way lhal
words on lheir own never could, so you begin lo gel lhe
emolional response lhal is essenlial lor molivalion. ll gives
your unconscious mind a sensory-rich lemplale, so lhal il
has a very delnile largel lo aim al. And il gives you
inlormalion aboul whal lile will be like when you have
achieved your goal, so lhal you can make any adjuslmenls
you need lo make sure lhal lhis is whal you really wanl.
As you vork Iovard your
goaI, use Ihis exercise
reguIarIy Io check your
progress.
E.e|, oa| ueeds au "ac||e.e
b," dae. l ,ou do uo se a
dae, ,ou| oa| w||| a|wa,s
|era|u |u |e uu|e.
1 'e a a|e dae o| ,ou| oa|.
2 C|oose se.e|a| daes beweeu
uow aud |e dae ,ou |a.e se,
aud w||e |er |u ,ou| p|auue|.
3 Cu eac| o |ese saed daes,
as| ,ou|se| w|a ,ou |a.e doue
o e c|ose| o ,ou| oa|, aud
w||e dowu w|a ,ou |a.e
a||ead, ac||e.ed.
4 l ,ou ud |a ,ou a|e |||u
|e se daes w||ou ra||u
p|o|ess, ra|e a dea||ed c|ec|
o ,ou| ro|.a|ou. ,ou ra, be
saboa|u ,ou| owu p|o|ess.
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
4HEMORE
DISTINCTA
GOALISTHE
SIMPLERITWILL
BETOACHIEVE
w
85_ED245_US 85 31/7/06 4:58:53 pm
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%#ONSIDER!LLTHE%FFECTS
Allhough your goal may be aboul a parlicular area ol your
lile, il will allecl olher areas. Consider lhe consequences
ol achieving your goal lor every olher area ol your lile,
when you have, you can be sure you really wanl il.
7HATWILLITCOSTYOUTOACHIEVETHEGOAL Somelimes
lhere are cosls lo achieving a goal, in lerms ol lime, ellorl,
or whal you will have lo give up. Ask lhese queslions lo
make sure your goal is worlh lhe sacrilces.
Whal will happen when l have il?
Whal won'l happen when l have il?
Are lhere any downsides lo achieving il?
7HATARETHEWIDEREFFECTSOFACHIEVINGYOURGOAL
Any signilcanl goal will have an impacl on lhe balance ol
your lilelhink lhis lhrough now lo avoid unloreseen
consequences laler.
How will lhis goal allecl lhe people l care aboul?
How will lhis goal allecl lhe wider communilies ol
which l am a parl?
Ka|| was oa||, ocused ou bu||d|u
||s ce|| p|oue |ea|| bus|uess,
se|u a oa| o becore a
r||||oua||e beo|e |e was 30. Fe
succeeded-bu |e wo||ed suc|
|ou |ou|s o ac||e.e | |a ||s
|e|a|ous||p was |u |oub|e, aud |e
was |u daue| o bu|u|u ou. w|eu
a c|ec|up |e.ea|ed a |ea| ru|ru|,
|e |e|ucau|, beau o de|eae
sore o ||s wo|||oad aud se
as|de sore |re o| ee|c|se. !o ||s
su|p||se, e.eu w|| ||s uew wo||
#!3%STUDY&INDINGA,IFE"ALANCE
|ab|s, ||s bus|uess cou|uued o
|ow, a||ou| a a ro|e rode|ae
aud susa|uab|e pace.
|n ba|anc|n h|: |||e be||er, rar|
|earned |o enjoy |||e and,
:u||er|n |e:: |rom :|re::, wa:
ea:|er |o be around. A||houh h|:
re|a||on:h|p d|d no| :urv|ve, h|:
qua|||y o| |||e d|d |mprove.
|e |ound h|: |ncrea:ed men|a|
a|er|ne:: he|ped h|m |o come up
w||h more or||na| bu:|ne:: |dea:.
86_ED245_US 86 31/7/06 4:58:55 pm
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(OWMUCHDOYOUWANTTHISGOAL ll you are nol
commilled lo your goal, you will nol achieve il. ll you leel
doubl, your unconscious may be lelling you lhal
somelhing needs more allenlion.
How do l leel aboul lhis goal?
Do l wanl il !00 percenl?
Does my energy increase when l lhink aboul il?
ll you answered "no" lo any queslion, adjusl lhe goal unlil
you leel enlhusiaslic aboul il.
2%NSURETHATTHE2OUTE)S+NOWN
Al lhis slage, il is enough lo have a leeling lhal lhe goal is
possible. How you gel lhere will be easier lo work oul
laler, aller you have placed lhe goal in your lulure.
Has anyone else achieved lhis goal? Then why nol you?
Who can assisl you in gelling lhere?
ll no one has achieved a similar goal belore.
Whal resources do you have lhal will help?
Whal addilional resources do you need?
Whal can you learn lrom any previous allempls?
Once your goal meels lhe P.O.W.L.P. crileria, you are
ready lo inslall il inlo your lulure.
4HINKABOUTWHATYOUWILLLEARNANDHOWYOU
WILLGROWINTHEJOURNEYTOWARDYOURGOALASWELLAS
THEBENElTSWHENYOUHAVEACHIEVEDIT
4)0
.%'!4)6%)-0!#4
L
!SSUMINGTHATONCEYOUHAVETHE
GOALLIFEWILLBEPERFECT
L
#ONCENTRATINGPURELYONTHE
ADVANTAGESOFTHEGOAL
L
)GNORINGANYDOUBTSCOMINGFROM
YOURUNCONSCIOUS
()'()-0!#4
L
!NTICIPATINGHOWTHEGOALWILL
FEELWHENYOUACHIEVEIT
L
,OOKINGREALISTICALLYATANY
DISADVANTAGESITMAYHAVE
L
#HECKINGYOURUNCONSCIOUSFOR
ANYNEGATIVESIGNALS
,OOKINGAHEADTO9OUR'OAL
87_ED245_US 87 31/7/06 4:58:56 pm
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3UMMARY3ET
0/7%2FUL'OALS
Coals give you direclion
and purpose. They help you
idenlily and locus on your
priorilies, a vilal process il
you are lo know where you
wanl lo go in your lile and
whal sleps you need lo
lake lo gel lhere. 8ul il is
imporlanl lo choose and
delne your goals wilh care,
weak, hazy, or negalive
goals merely give lhe
impression ol lorward
movemenland can
obslrucl your progress.
The P.O.W.L.P. checklisl
which slands lor Posilivily,
Ownership, Whal/When,
Lllecls, and Poulewill help
you lurn vague wanls and
desires inlo delnile, locused,
and achievable goals.
4HINKABOUTTHE2OUTE
^sk yoursel whal resources
you ueed lo achieve lhe goal
2
/WN9OUR'OALS
Check lhal you wish lo
achieve each goal or your
owu sake, uol or auyoue else
/
#ONSIDER!LLTHE%FFECTS
^sk yoursel whal il will
cosl lo achieve each goal
%
3PECIFY7HATAND7HEN
visualize yoursel haviug
achieved each goal-lhis will
help you deue il uore clearly
7
4HINK0OSITIVELY
Euvisiou a sel o goals lhal
show you where you waul
lo be iu lhe ulure
0
0LANOF!CTION
88_ED245_US 88 31/7/06 4:59:02 pm
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35--!29 3%4 0/7%2&5, '/!, 3
^sk yoursel who cau assisl
you iu achieviug lhe goal
4HINKABOUTTHE2OUTE
^sk yoursel whal you cau
learu rou auy previous
alleupls lo achieve lhe goal
^sk yoursel whal you cau
do lo briug each goal aboul
by your owu aclious
^sk yoursel how you cau
iuNueuce eveuls lhal are
oulside your direcl coulrol
Jhiuk aboul lhe wider eecls
o achieviug each goal
#ONSIDER!LLTHE%FFECTS
^sk yoursel how uuch you
really waul each goal
|or each goal, speciy
exaclly whal will be
diereul wheu il has beeu
achieved
3PECIFY7HATAND7HEN
Sel specic dales or
achieviug each goal
Reuove or rephrase auy goals
lhal iuclude uegalive words
such as "uol" or "dou'l"
Eusure goals uove loward
whal you waul, uol jusl
away rou whal you dou'l
89_ED245_US 89 31/7/06 4:59:03 pm
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0LACETHE'OALIN9OUR&UTURE
Nov IhaI your goaI is dened, you need Io insIaII iI inIo
your fuIure. To do Ihis, you need Io nd ouI vhich
direcIion in your percepIuaI space signies "fuIure" Io
you, Io engage your vhoIe brain in Ihe goaI insIaIIaIion.

(ELP9OUR5NCONSCIOUSTO/RGANIZE4IME
8ecause we can'l see lime, we lend lo use spalial
melaphors lo lhink and lalk aboul il. We use expressions
like "lhe dislanl pasl," "lhe shorl lerm," and "lhe lar
lulure." The idea ol lime as being a linear sequence ol
evenls, in which one momenl lollows anolher, will leel
quile lamiliar lo you. This is how your unconscious mind
organizes your pasl memoriesevenls lhal happened a
long lime ago leel larlher away lhan somelhing lhal
happened yeslerday, and lwo hundred years in lhe lulure
is "a long way oll" compared lo your plans lor lomorrow.
You also lalk aboul lime as having a parlicular direclion
relalive lo your viewpoinllor example, "l've pul il behind
me," or "l'm looking lorward lo lhe summer." You are
used lo seeing graphs where lime goes lrom lell lo righl
along lhe lower axisil you saw one wilh lhe lulure
moving loward you, or wilh lime moving lrom righl lo lell,
il would appear slrange lo you because lime would appear
lo be "shilling" in lhe wrong direclion.
,OOKINGAT9OUR4IMELINE
Pasl
|ulure
Now
|ulure
Pasl
Now
Jhiuk aboul how you
visualize liue, aud your
owu posiliouiug ou your
liueliue. Jwo couuou
direclious or liueliues are
showu ou lhe lel. | you
are uoviug loward a
parlially achieved goal, you
are uore likely lo see
yoursel already ou lhe
liueliue's palh.
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PL ACL THL COAL l N YOUP lUTUPL
#HOOSE9OUR$IRECTION
Timelines mosl commonly lake one ol lwo lorms.
The lulure is in lronl ol you, lhe pasl is behind you, and
you are slanding al "now"lhis lorm makes il easy lo
be "in lhe momenl."
The lulure is lo your righl, lhe pasl is lo your lell, now
is a lillle in lronl ol youlhis lorm can be helplul lor
lime managemenl and punclualily issues, as you can
see where evenls are in relalion lo each olher.
These are nol lhe only possibililieslimelines have no
righl or wrong direclions. Take lhe lorm lhal comes
nalurally in a silualion, and use il in your visualizalions.
We are nol usually consciously aware ol our sense ol lhe lulure's
direclion, bul il is very easy lo discover il, and being able lo
visualize il clearly will help your lulure seem more real lo you.
Think aboul lime as being like a line, where one momenl

lollows anolher. The pasl is al one end ol lhe line, lhe lulure
al lhe olher, and "now" is somewhere in belween.
As you look al lhal line, which direclion is lhe pasl?
Which direclion is lhe lulure?
Nolice where "now" is. where you are, or ahead ol you?
Join lhe pasl, presenl, and lulure wilh a line, and nolice
where lhal line is in relalion lo you.
Whal color is your limeline? The color has no parlicular
signilcance, bul il will help you lo see lhe limeline more clearly.
$ISCOVER9OUR4IMELINE
)FYOUDONOTSEEYOURTIMELINECLEARLYIT
DOESNOTMATTERPROVIDEDYOUHAVEASENSEOFWHICH
DIRECTIONTHEFUTUREISINANDWHEREhNOWvIS
4)0
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-AKE9OUR'OAL#OMPELLING
The lnal slep belore inslalling your goal is lo make your
menlal image ol lhe goal as vivid as possible. You wanl a
piclure lhal is so compelling lhal il pulls you loward il
wilhoul your having lo lry lo molivale yoursell. To do lhis,
lune up lhe image lo appeal lo all ol your senses.
Turn up lhe visual qualilies ol lhe image. Make il vivid
and compelling bul nol garish, as il has lo remain
realislic lo maximize ils emolional impacl. Then slep
inlo il (il you are nol lhere already) so lhal you are
seeing il as il you were really lhere.
Turn up lhe sound and lhe sensalions. Whal do you
hear? Whal does il leel like lo have achieved your
goaland lo know you deserved il? Make any lnal
adjuslmenls lhal you need lo, and lurn up lhose good
leelings even more.
Now slep back oul ol lhe piclure. ll you slayed in il,
you could daydream aboul lhe goal lorever wilhoul
doing anylhing aboul il. Slepping oul reminds you lhal
you are nol lhere yeland you have lo make lhings
happen in lhe real world in order lo gel lhere.
Use your timeIine as a tooI
in this effective technique
for fast reIaxation
9OUSHOULDlNDTHATITWILLHELP
YOUTOTAKEYOURSELFOUTOF
UNCOMFORTABLEEMOTIONSAND
WILLGIVEYOUSOMEPERSPECTIVEIF
YOUNEEDTOMAKEATOUGH
DECISION
1#LOSEYOUREYESANDBECOME
AWAREOFYOURTIMELINE
2!LLOWYOURSELFTOmOATABOVE
hNOWvORLETTHETIMELINESINK
AWAYBENEATHYOU
3&LOATUPUNTILYOUREACHA
HEIGHTATWHICHYOUARE
COMFORTABLE
4 .OTICEHOWYOUFEELmOATING
ABOVETHETIMELINECOMPARED
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57HENYOUFEELRELAXEDmOAT
DOWNANDOPENYOUREYES
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92_ED245_US 92 31/7/06 4:59:12 pm
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3EE9OURSELFINTHE
0ICTURE^s you look
al your iuage o lhe
goal, you should eel a
powerul uolivaliug
pull lo gel lhere.
3PECIFY7HO)S4HERE
WITH9OU Seeiug who
will be wilh you iu your
ulure will iucrease your
euolioual couuecliou
wilh lhe goal.
-AKE3URETHE
0ICTURE)S"RIGHT^ big,
brighl, coupelliug iuage
will eugage your hearl as
well as your iulellecl.
#REATING9OUR6ISION
%XPERIENCINGYOURGOALASIFITHASALREADYHAPPENEDMAKES
ITREALTOYOUANDSTRENGTHENSYOURFEELINGTHATITISNOT
ONLYPOSSIBLEBUTISDElNITELYGOINGTOHAPPEN
)FYOURGOALISNOTMOTIVATINGENOUGHMAKE
SURETHATITMEETSALLTHE0/7%2CRITERIAAND
EXPERIMENTWITHMAKINGITMOREVIVID
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0, !#% 4(% '/!, ) . 9/52 &5452%
93_ED245_US 93 31/7/06 4:59:13 pm
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)NSTALL9OUR'OAL
"Planling" a goal inlo your lulure limeline makes il parl ol
lhe landscape ol your unconscious mind, and will give you
a leeling ol cerlainly lhal your goal is going lo happen
your unconscious will lreal il as lhough il already has.
The inslallalion can be a very powerlul process emolionally,
which has lhe benell ol embedding your goal slrongly in
your memory and your lhoughls. Make sure lhal your goal
meels lhe P.O.W.L.P. crileria and is as vivid as possible
belore you inslall il.
#OMBINE9OUR#ONSCIOUSAND5NCONSCIOUS
The process is designed lo work on bolh a conscious and
an unconscious level. You may lnd lhal ideas and images
aboul how lo achieve lhe goal slarl coming lo you eilher
during lhe inslallalion process or shorlly allerward. Any
rilual consislenl wilh your beliel syslem lhal you wish lo
perlorm belore lhe inslallalion, such as saying a prayer or
brealhing lile inlo lhe piclure ol your goal, can only help
lo make lhe process more signilcanl lor you.
THINK
3-!24
9OUMAYlNDTHATmOATINGYOURGOALINTOYOUR
TIMELINEANEQUALLYVALIDALTERNATIVEMETHOD
WORKSBETTERFORYOU
'ore peop|e ud ||s .a||a|ou ou |e p|ocess desc||bed
oppos|e |s au eas|e| wa, o |usa|| |e|| oa| |uo |e|| uu|e.
1 f|oa o|wa|d abo.e |e |re||ue |uo |e uu|e, ca||,|u
,ou| oa| w|| ,ou.
2 Re|ease |e oa| abo.e |e a|e dae. Le | oa dowu
|uo |e |re||ue aud erbed |se| as pa| o ,ou| uu|e.
3 f|oa bac| o uow, wac||u e.eus beweeu uow aud |e
a|e dae |ea||u|u |erse|.es o |e|p ,ou |eac| ,ou| oa|.

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9OUCANFOLLOWTHISPROCESSONYOUROWNOREVENBETTERGET
AFRIENDTOGUIDEYOUTHROUGHEACHSTEPLEAVINGYOUFREETO
EXPERIENCEYOURTHOUGHTSANDFEELINGSASYOUGO
8elore you slarl, lay your limeline oul on lhe loor, making sure
you have enough space lo lake a slep beyond lhe poinl lhal
represenls lhe dale by which you are going lo achieve your goal.
Pul your image ol your goal inlo an imaginary lrame, and as

you hold il, slep onlo lhe limeline, lacing lhe lulure.
Walk along lhe limeline inlo lhe lulure, carrying your goal.
Slop when lhe goal is direclly above lhe largel dale.
Lel go ol lhe goal and allow il lo sellle inlo your limeline.
Slep lorward inlo lhe goal and experience il lullyallow

yoursell lo leel lhe sense ol achievemenl.
Take a slep beyond your goal and lurn around so lhal you are
looking back al lhe successlul achievemenl ol your goal. You
may nolice lhal lhe evenls leading up lo lhe achievemenl
realign lhemselves lo supporl lhe achievemenl. Whal advice
do you have lor lhe "you" back al "now"?
Pelurn lo "now" along lhe limeline, and look inlo lhe lulure. You
will have a sense ol knowing lhal lhe goal is going lo happen.
PL ACL THL COAL l N YOUP lUTUPL
0LACING9OUR'OALIN9OUR4IMELINE
.OW 4ARGET$ATE &UTURE
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Celling
There
Now lhal you have sel your goals, you have
lo gel oul lhere and make lhem happen!
This can seem daunlingunless you clearly
idenlily polenlial roules lo your goal, and
lake sleps lo saleguard your energy and
commilmenl along lhe way. This seclion
shows you.
Why il is imporlanl lo wrile your goals
down and make a public commilmenl
Slralegies lor lreeing up your energy and
gelling slarled
How lo creale a delailed roule lo your goal
How lo slay molivaled and learn lrom
mislakes
The benells ol looking beyond malerial
and perlormance goals
96_ED245_US 96 31/7/06 4:59:22 pm
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98_ED245_CMYK_ 98 11/4/06 6:40:11 pm

3WITCH/FF9OUR!UTOPILOT
The resulls we gel come lrom lhe way in which our aclions
work wilh our environmenl (lhe people around us, lhe
resources available lo us, and rules and expeclalions ol
sociely). We cannol conlrol our
environmenl, bul we are able lo
choose our aclions. So when you
change your aclions, your resulls
change (nol always prediclably,
which is why you need lo monilor
lhe resulls closely and make lurlher
changes il you need lo). Mosl ol
your behavior happens on
aulopilol, wilhoul conscious
analysis. This works well on a day-lo-day level, since you
would never have lime lo lhink lhrough every single
decision consciously. However, il presenls a challenge
when you wanl lo change your behavior.
3TAY&OCUSED
Making behavioral change happen is ollen compared lo
lhe process ol lurning an oil lanker around. Old habils
have lheir own momenlum. They will reasserl lhemselves
as soon as your allenlion wanders, unlil your new habils
have had lime lo become eslablished. Pemember lhal you
need lo keep your goals al lhe lorelronl ol your mind.
-AKE9OUR'OALS(APPEN
Even afIer your goaIs have been seI, iI's imporIanI Io
pIan your rouIe Io Ihem in manageabIe sIeps Io ensure
IhaI you don'I become discouraged by Ihe Iask. This
secIion shovs you hov Io Iurn your ideas inIo reaIiIy.
i
w
/NEOFTHEILLUSIONSOFLIFEISTHATTHEPRESENTHOURIS
NOTTHECRITICALDECISIVEHOUR7RITEITONYOURHEART
THATEVERYDAYISTHEBESTDAYOFTHEYEAR
2ALPH7ALDO%MERSON
)TTAKESAT
LEASTDAYS
TOESTABLISHA
NEWHABIT
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MAKL YOUP COAL S HAPPLN
#HANGECANHAPPENSOONERTHANYOUEXPECT)TDOESTAKE
TIMEANDEFFORTBUTYOUCANMAKEITALOTEASIERBYDOINGIT
THESMARTWAYRATHERTHANTHEHARDWAY
7RITEYOURGOALSDOWN When you wrile your goals down,

lhey become more real lhan when you only lhink aboul lhem,
or even lalk aboul lhem. Wriling lhe goals lxes lhem in your
memory and slops lhem lrom changing or lading away.
As you wrile your goals, you aclivale lhe prelronlal corlex
a parl ol your brain lhal deals wilh expeclalions, decision-
making, and choicemaking you more able lo nolice and
change habilual behaviors.
0UTYOURGOALSWHEREYOUWILLSEETHEMEVERYDAY. Hang
lhem on your bedroom wall, so lhal lhey are lhe lrsl lhing
you see when you wake up, pin lhem in lronl ol your desk al
work, or have lhem as a slarl-up message or screensaver on
your compuler. Have lhem accessible al all limes.
-AKEAPUBLICCOMMITMENTTOYOURGOALS This lakes your

goals anolher slep along lhe road lrom idea lo realily. People
are social animals, and you probably do care whal olher
people lhink aboul lhem. Use lhal characlerislic lo help your
molivalion by lelling people you lrusl and whose opinion you
value aboul your goals.
#HANGING9OUR"EHAVIOR
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c|ec||u |er e.e|, ew da,s
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||euds aud co||eaues
)MPLEMENTING#HANGE
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2EMEMBERTHAT9OU(AVEA#HOICE
ln weslern socielies, many people have had everylhing
done lor lhem as children, and had lillle early lraining in
laking responsibilily. During lhe leenage years, simple
chores like doing lhe dishes become balllegrounds in lhe
slruggle lor an independenl idenlily. As an adull, lhis
background can leave you wilh a leeling ol resenlmenl ol
any lask you "have" lo do. Lven il lhe lask is a vilal slep
on lhe way lo somelhing you really wanl, you may lnd
yoursell doing il hall-hearledly while inwardly complaining.
To gel around lhis allilude, remind
yoursell lhal you are choosing
your course ol aclion. No one else
is going lo slep in and do il lor
you. Do il gladly because il will
lake you closer lo your goals.
3TAYON4RACK
Displacemenl aclivilies are whal
you do lo avoid lackling some
olher more imporlanl lask lo
which you have an unconscious
resislance. An example mighl be
checking your emails when you
have a crucial reporl lo wrile. The
displacemenl aclivily is an allempl
lo reduce slress. ll does nol work,
because al lhe back ol your mind
is lhe nagging leeling lhal lhere is
somelhing else you should be
doing. You will lnd lhal lhe besl
way lo reduce your slress levels
is lo gel slarled on your mosl
imporlanl lask righl away.
MINUTE
&)8
)FYOUREACHIMPASSE
ONATASKONTHE
WAYTOYOURGOAL
USETHISPROMPT
!|e auswe|s |er|ud
,ou w|, ,ou ueed o
ac aud s|ou|d e ,ou
bac| ou |ac| as.
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w|a pa| does ||s
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b||u re c|ose| o
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v|sua||.e ,ou| oa|
cor|u c|ose| as ,ou
corp|ee |e as|,
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o wo||.
7ALKLIKESOMEONEWHOISCONlDENT)TWILL
CHANGEHOWYOUFEEL
4)0
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3TRAIGHTEN5P
Slaudiug up wilh arus
oulspread, you'll ud il
easier lo access posilive
lhoughls aud excileueul.
,OOK5P |l is hard lo
eel uuhappy, low euergy
slales wheu you are
lookiug orward aud oul
al lhe world.
4HINK0OSITIVEKeep
lhe saue posiliou aud lel
exciliug lhoughls Now
lhrough you. Experieuce
lheu ully or a uiuule.
'IVE9OURSELFAN%NERGY"OOST
Our lhoughls and emolions inluence lhe physical syslems
ol lhe bodyand vice versa. ll you sland slumped over,
gazing al your shoes, you will lnd il hard lo lhink
posilivelybul lhe reverse is also lrue. Whal is your
normal poslure like, and how has il been inluencing how
you leel? Whal changes will you make lrom now on?
MAKL YOUP COAL S HAPPLN
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&OCUSON9OUR$ESIRED/UTCOME
MosI Ihings become easier vhen you focus on Ihe end
resuII, raIher Ihan on Ihe sIog of geIIing Ihere-iI
moves your vay of Ihinking from passive Io acIive, and
cIoser Io being aI Ihe Cause end of Ihe specIrum.
3TAY#LEARABOUT9OUR'OAL
ll you are working loward a long-lerm goal or goals, you
may lnd lhal, over lime, your locus gels blunled a lillle. ll
you discuss your goals wilh olhers, lhey may nol always be
supporlive, olher oulside laclors may raise doubls in your
mind, and evenlually your delerminalion may begin lo lail.
You can slop lhis lrom happening along lhe way lo your
goal by mainlaining a conslanl process ol assessmenl.
Lven il your goal remains conslanl, olher lhings
your personal circumslances or relalionships, or lhe
circumslances ol people close lo youmay change. Jusl
because you may need lo reconsider lhe roule lo your
goal, lhough, don'l laller, or lose locus. Co calmly back
K|r, a ra||e|u rauae|, ouud
| |a|d o spea| up |u |rpo|au
ree|us because s|e e| se|
cousc|ous. Ye |u o|e| a|eas o
|e| wo|| s|e was coudeu aud
ocused. '|e |ea||.ed |a s|e was
o|u |uo eac| ree|u w||ou a
c|ea| |dea o w|a s|e waued |or
|, e.eu |ou| |e dec|s|ous o be
rade wou|d |a.e a rajo| |rpac
ou |e| p|ojecs. /e| d|scuss|u |e
|ssue w|| |e| coac|, s|e dec|ded
o e c|ea| beo|e eac| ree|u
ou |e wa, s|e waued | o o.
lu |e ue ree|u, K|r ouud
#!3%STUDY3PEAKING5PIN-EETINGS
|e|se| spea||u up o |uueuce
|e oucore w||ou e.eu ||u||u
abou |.
becau:e :he now had a de:|red
ou|come |n m|nd, r|m: a||en||on
wa: d|rec|ed ou|:|de her:e|| |n
order |o read |he mood o| |he
o|her par||c|pan|:, ra|her |han
|nward |o dwe|| on her :en:e o|
:e||-con:c|ou:ne::.
5he bean |o |nd |ha| even
ou|:|de wor|, peop|e |oo|ed |o
her a: a |eader |n mo:| roup: |n
wh|ch :he |ound her:e||.
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over lhe sleps lo your goal and see il any ol lhem need lo
change lo lake accounl ol olher changes.
7ORK"ACKWARD
Lven when people have sel
a compelling goal lor
lhemselves, lhey may
slruggle wilh knowing
where lo slarl. Ol all lhe
possible aclions lhal lie
belore you, which slep
should you lake lrsl? When
you inslalled your goal on
lhe limeline, some ol lhe
mileslones along lhe way lo
your goal may have popped
inlo your mind as you
walked back lo "now." To
be sure you are clear aboul
lhe besl palh lo your goal,
use lhe more lell-brained
approach shown in lhe
lowcharl on lhe righl. ll is
based on lhe principle lhal
you will lnd il easier lo
eslablish lhe roule lo your
goal when you slarl lrom
where you wanl lo be, and
work backward. 8esl ol all,
il ollers you a clear palh ol
aclion so lhal you know nol
only whal comes lrsl, bul
whal comes nexl, loo.
lOCUS ON YOUP DLSl PLD OUTCOML
)NCREASEYOUREMOTIONALENGAGEMENTWITH
EACHSTEPALONGTHEWAYBYASKINGYOURSELFh7HAT
DOESTHISSTEPMEANTOMEv
4)0
-ILESTONESTO9OUR'OAL
Jake a large sheel o paper
aud wrile your goal al lhe
righlhaud edge. |uagiue lhal you
have already achieved your goal.
^sk yoursel whal coudilious
ueeded lo be iu place beore lhis
goal happeued iu order or il lo be
achieved. wrile each coudiliou lo
lhe lel o lhe goal.
0raw arrows joiuiug lhe coudilious
lo lhe goal. Jreal each o lhese
coudilious as lhe resull o soue
olher previous coudilious.
^sk "whal coudilious ueeded lo
be iu place iu order or lhis lo
happeu1" wrile lheu iu lheir
appropriale places lo lhe lel o
lhe resulls.
Keep workiug backward uulil
you arrive al your rsl slep.
You uow have lhe esseulial
"uilesloues" aloug lhe way
lo your goal.
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0LAYTO9OUR3TRENGTHS
Nobody can be a sIar aI everyIhing. Trying Io foIIov
someone eIse's formuIa for success can mean ve Iry
Io become someIhing ve are noI, and Ihen bIame
ourseIves vhen Ihe formuIa Iurns ouI noI Io suiI us.
3TAY!WARE
Pemedying any gaps in your skills lhal hold you back, and
lacing lhe challenges ol learning new ways ol behaving
can be exlremely uselulbul il lhal is all lhal you do, lile
will be a conslanl round ol hard work, and you may lnd
your molivalion ebbing. Adaplalion inevilably lakes
energy, lo make your palh lo success suslainable, you also
need lo play lo your slrenglhs by using whal you are
nalurally good al. The beller you know yoursell and lhe
ways in which you are likely lo respond in any silualion,
lhe easier il will be lo choose lhe palh lhal works lor you.
Nolice which aspecls ol gelling lo your goal enlhuse
you, and which are more ol a chore. ll you can, lnd
ways lo make lhe chores easier by delegaling lhem lo
someone else who is good al lhem. Pemember, you are
nol required lo do everylhing yoursell.

Make sure lhal all lhe aclions necessary lo achieve your

goal are covered, by someone else il nol by youlhe
lemplalion could be lo neglecl lhe ones lhal don'l
come nalurally lo you.
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When your seIf-knowIedge is strong, you become Iess IikeIy
to sabotage your efforts unconsciousIy, because you are
famiIiar with how you think and operate. Use these
questions to Iearn more about yourseIf.
Do you recharge your energies

by going ouI viIh IoIs of
peopIe, or by reIaxing on your
ovn or viIh a cIose friend or
parIner? ll lhe answer is "lols ol
people," your palh lo your goals
needs lo include plenly ol
opporlunilies lor socializing or
working in a group lo keep your
energy levels high. ll lhe olher oplion appeals more, make
sure you build in some "me" lime in which you can reslore
your energy.
Hov do you knov you are doing a good job? Do you

"jusl know" or do you need lo hear il lrom olher people? ll
you need lols ol leedback, consider where you will be gelling
lhis lrom on lhe way lo your goalil you don'l gel enough,
you may slarl lo doubl your own abililies, and lhis doubl will
in lurn dilule lhe ellorl lhal you are pulling in and make il
harder lor you lo reach your goal. ll you "jusl know," you may
wanl lo sound oul a second opinion occasionally lo gel a
balanced view ol your progress, and lo ensure lhal you slay
on lrack and lhal your vision ol lhe end goal remains clear.
Are you more aI ease viIh deIaiIs, or viIh Ihe big

picIure? ll you are a delail person, you may need deliberalely
lo remind yoursell ol your ullimale goal lrom lime lo lime so
you don'l gel losl in lhe lrivia ol day-lo-day living, and mired
down in lhe minuliae ol everyday lile. ll you are more
inleresled in lhe big piclure, il may be wise lo enlisl lhe help
ol someone else lo check lhe delails lor you in case you have
missed somelhing.
PL AY TO YOUP STPLNCTHS
2AISE9OUR3ELF!WARENESS
1here may be
severaI
different
paths to the
same goaI
105_ED245_US 105 31/7/06 4:59:34 pm
106_ED245_CMYK_ 106 11/4/06 6:40:28 pm
$EALWITH/VERLOAD
5omeIimes Ihere jusI seems Io be Ioo much Io do, and
big projecIs can seem overvheIming. If you have
foIIoved Ihe previous guideIines, Ihis shouIdn'I happen
ofIen, buI here's hov Io deaI viIh iI vhen iI does.
$ONT$OTOO-UCH
)FYOUHAVETOOMANYPROJECTSGOINGATONCEYOUWILLHAVE
TOMAKESOMECHOICESABOUTWHICHONESYOUAREGOINGTO
COMPLETEANDWHICHYOUWANTTOPUTONTHEBACKBURNER
2EFERBACKTOYOURhSIXYEARTHREEYEARONEYEARvGOAL
SHEETTOREMINDYOUOFYOURPRIORITIES'ETINTOTHEHABITOF
SAYINGNOTOANYNEWPROJECTSUNTILYOUHAVEYOURCURRENT
COMMITMENTSUNDERCONTROL)FATASKSEEMSTOOBIGAND
OVERWHELMINGTOGETSTARTEDBREAKITDOWNINTOSMALLER
TASKSUNTILYOUREACHASIZETHATYOUARECOMFORTABLEWITH
+EEPYOURENDGOALINMIND
ANDREMEMBERTHATEACH
SMALLERTASKISANOTHERSTEP
TOWARDIT
-ANAGE9OUR0ROJECT Break big
lasks dowu as i you were buildiug a
house-divide lheu iulo uauageable
slages aud deal wilh lheu oue by oue.
106_ED245_US 106 31/7/06 4:59:36 pm
107_ED245_CMYK_ 107 11/4/06 6:40:31 pm

'ET4HINGSIN0ERSPECTIVE
5SEYOURTIMELINETOHELPYOUPUT
YOURWORKINTOPERSPECTIVEAND
GAINANOVERALLFOCUSONWHATYOU
HAVETODO-ENTALLYLAYYOUR
TIMELINEOUTONTHEmOORWITHTHE
PROJECTSTARTANDENDDATESMARKED
OUTONIT3TEPAWAYFROMYOUR
TIMELINEANDGIVEYOURSELFENOUGH
DISTANCETOSEETHETASKINTHECONTEXTOFTHETIMEBEFOREIT
STARTEDANDTHETIMEAFTERITISCOMPLETE4HISWILLGIVEYOU
AMOREACCURATEPERSPECTIVEONITANDREDUCEYOURFEELINGS
OFhOVERWHELMvUNTILYOUHAVEYOURCURRENTCOMMITMENTS
UNDERCONTROLANDHAVETIMETOTHINKABOUTWHETHERYOU
HAVETHESPACETOTAKEONMORE
$%!, 7) 4( /6%2,/!$
Leave some uncommitted "contingency time"
for things you have overlooked or that need xing
unexpectedlydon't ll your schedule completely.
4)0
Use a system that works for
getting things done: Iearn
not to procrastinate.
w|eu ,ou a|| o a|e ac|ou, |'s
usua||, because ,ou dou' wau
o a|e ou a c|o|e. You uo|ce
|a a c|o|e ueeds do|u, ||u|
abou |ow bo||u do|u | w|||
be, dec|de uo o do | ,e, |eu
o a|ouud |e sare |oop uu||
,ou cau' pu o do|u | au,
|oue|. !||s a|es ro|e eue|,
|au do|u | ||| awa,. use
||s ec|u|que w|eue.e| ,ou ee|
,ou|se| be|u o p|oc|as|uae.
1 !a|e ,ou| |eas a.o||e c|o|e.
2 lra|ue |ow ood ||us w|||
be w|eu ,ou |a.e corp|eed
|e as|, aud |ow ood ,ou
w||| ee| as a |esu|.
3 Keep|u ||s |rae |u r|ud,
|.e .e r|uues o ,ou| u||
aeu|ou o |e as| aud see
|ow a| ,ou e.
t
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
keep your
commitment
IeveIs in mind
at aII times
107_ED245_US 107 31/7/06 4:59:37 pm
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CLT Tl NC THLPL
3UMMARY-AKING'OALS(APPEN
Achieving your goals lakes commilmenl and locusbul wilh
a properly planned roule and realislic, manageable slages,
lhe process should nol leel loo overwhelming. Play lo your
slrenglhs, bul don'l neglecl lhe less enjoyable sleps or slages
along lhe way, wilh oulside help, advice, or lraining, you can
almosl always overcome any personal limilalions. ll you
make a slarl, everylhing else will soon lall inlo place.
0LANOF!CTION
Jake respousibilily or your
goals-reuiud yoursel lhal
you have choseu lhese goals
&OCUSON9OUR'OALS
wrile your goals dowu aud
x lheu iu your uiud
wrile dowu oue o your
goals ou lhe righlhaud side
o a large piece o paper
7ORKTHROUGHTHE3TAGES
Slarliug wilh lhe goal aud
workiug backward, ideuliy
each slep ueeded lo reach il
visualize lhe liueliue laid oul
ou lhe Noor aud "slep back"
lo gaiu a wider perspeclive
$EALWITH/VERLOAD
0ou'l do loo uuch al ouce-
say uo lo uew projecls uulil
curreul oues are uuder coulrol
108_ED245_US 108 31/7/06 4:59:43 pm
109_ED245_CMYK_001 109 11/4/06 6:41:51 pm

35--!29 -!+) .' '/!, 3 (!00%.
Keep your goals where you
cau see lheu every day
Make a public couuilueul-
lell soueoue you lrusl or
leau up wilh a parluer
|deuliy lhe sleps lhal you'll
eujoy or ud easy aud lhose
lhal you'll ud uore dicull
|ace up lo lhe weaker areas-
eilher delegale or lake sleps
lo reuedy your weakuesses
Break dicull lasks dowu
iulo sualler, uore easily
uauageable slages
Make a slarl-eveu i you cau
ouly give ve uiuules, you'll
eel beller or haviug slarled
109_ED245_US 109 31/7/06 4:59:44 pm

,IVE5PTO9OUR3ELF)MAGE
PsychoIogisIs have found IhaI peopIe Iend Io acI in Iine
viIh Iheir seIf-image. If you see yourseIf as an
achievemenI-orienIed person, you are more IikeIy Io
Iake Ihe acIions IhaI viII Iead Io achievemenI.
-AKEA3TART
You will lnd lhal as soon as you lake a small slep in lhe
direclion you wanl lo go, you will being lo see yoursell as
lhal kind ol person. lor example, il you haven'l been able
lo lace clearing oul lhe cluller in
your home, you can gel yoursell
slarled by commilling lo clearing
oul jusl one drawerand lhen
aclually doing il. This makes il
likely lhal you will go on and clear
oul more clulleril nol righl
away, lhen lhe lollowing day.
ll also gives you a relerence
experience ol keeping a
commilmenl lo yoursell, so lhal you slarl lo see yoursell
as a person who delivers on your promises. Like any olher
beliel, sell-image becomes a sell-lulllling prophecy lhal
makes il easier lo lake aclion loward your goals in lhe
lulure. The more relerence experiences you creale, lhe
more you believe in yoursell as an achiever.
7ATCH9OURSELF#HANGE
One ol lhe ways in which many people make lhemselves
leel bad is by perpelually comparing lheir perlormance
wilh lhal ol someone else, and lnding lhemselves lacking.
A more elleclive way ol moniloring your perlormance is
lo compare where you
are now wilh where you
used lo be, and nolice
how lar you have come
and lhe progress lhal you
have made.
2ATHERTHAN
COMPAREYOURSELFWITH
PEOPLEYOUADMIRELET
THEMINSPIREYOU
4)0
/NCEASTART
HASBEEN
MADETHEJOB
WILLSOONBE
COMPLETED
CLT Tl NC THLPL
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0SYCHOLOGISTSANDANIMALTRAINERSHAVEFOUNDTHATTHEMOST
EFFECTIVEWAYTOHELPBOTHHUMANSANDANIMALSFORMNEW
HABITSISTOREWARDANDREINFORCEGETTINGTHINGSRIGHTRATHER
THANPUNISHINGMISTAKES
You can use lhis principle lo suslain your molivalion.
When you are learning a new skill or praclicing new behaviors,

locus on lhe improvemenls over your previous perlormance,
ralher lhan giving yoursell a hard lime aboul any mislakes or
omissions.
Peward yoursell lor reaching each mileslone lo keep your

molivalion highyou do nol have lo wail unlil you've achieved
lhe lnal goal lo slarl lo leel good aboul il!
Take a momenl al lhe end ol each day lo nolice whal has

happened lo bring you closer lo your goal. This provides
behavioral reinlorcemenl lo your unconscious mind, lelling il
know lhal il is on lhe righl
lrack and encouraging il lo do
more ol lhe same.
%NVISAGE9OURSELFASA7INNER
Piclure yoursel as a success, aud il is
uore likely lhal you will becoue oue.
2EINFORCE9OUR-OTIVATION
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4AKE#AREOF9OURSELF
The journey Io reach your goaIs may be Iong, and some
Iimes viII be easier Ihan oIhers. In order Io geI Ihere
you need Io make vise use of everyIhing you have,
especiaIIy of your mosI precious resource, your energy.
"E+INDTO9OUR"ODY
You can make a dillerence lo your mood and emolional
slabilily. One ol lhe mosl elleclive ways is lo give up
collee. Calleine (also presenl in smaller doses in lea, cola,
and chocolale) mimics lhe ellecl ol adrenaline lo give you
an energy surge lollowed by a dip. This can have a roller
coasler ellecl on your emolions. Sugary loods have a
similar ellecl. ll you do decide lo reduce your calleine
levels, do il gradually, reducing your inlake in incremenls
ol one cup per day, lo avoid lhe headaches lhal somelimes
accompany an abrupl wilhdrawal.
Learn to use your
unconscious to heIp you
drop bad habits and
address their underIying
causes.
Esab||s| w|a pu|pose ,ou|
uucousc|ous ||u|s |ese
be|a.|o|s a|e se|.|u. w|eu ,ou
ud ||s, | w||| be eas|e| o |.e
|e |ab|s up.
1 C|ose ,ou| e,es, s||| ,ou|
r|ud, aud ca|| up au |rae
|ep|eseu|u |e |ab|. l ra,
be |e |||e .o|ce |a uas
,ou |uo wau|u auo|e|
c|a|ee, o| earp|e.
2 !|au| |e |rae o|
corruu|ca|u w|| ,ou. l
,ou |a.e a d|s|||e o ,ou| owu
|ab|, ||s ra, be ou|-
|ererbe|, ,ou| uucousc|ous
w|s|es |e bes o| ,ou.
3 /s| |e |rae w|a | |s |,|u
o do o| ,ou. wa| o| |s
auswe|, w||c| ra, a|||.e as a
|ou| o| au |rae.
4 !||u| o o|e| wa,s o
ac||e.|u |e sare eud,
w||ou |e d|awbac|s. C|ec|
|a |e, a|e as eec|.e a
u||||u |e ood |ueu|ou
be||ud |e bad |ab|.
t
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
CLT Tl NC THLPL
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,EARNTO)NTERPRET9OUR3YMPTOMS
Unheallhy lileslyles are a conlribuling laclor lo many
illnesses. Somelimes physical symploms can be early
warning signs lhal your lileslyle needs lo change. Slress
headaches may be a sign lhal you are working loo hard,
persislenl indigeslion may be indicaling lhal a change ol
diel is needed, and so on. ll you ignore lhese symploms or
simply suppress lhem wilh over-lhe-counler medicalion,
lhe warning message may be re-senl in a way lhal is
harder lo ignore. As well as consulling your physician
when symploms appear, you have nolhing lo lose by
asking yoursell (or lhe parl ol lhe body where lhe
symplom appears). "ll lhis is a message lor me, whal is il
lrying lo lell me?" When you gel an answer lhal makes
sense lo you, acl on il. ll is much beller lo make a small
adjuslmenl lo your lileslyle now, lhan lo risk a major
change lorced by illness larlher down lhe line.
TAKL CAPL Ol YOUPSLLl
.%'!4)6%)-0!#4
L
us|u qu|c| es-sua|,
cae|ue o| u|co|ue-o
ra|ua|u ,ou| eue|, |e.e|s
L
luo||u eue|, d|ps aud
wo|||u s|a|| ||ou| |er,
o |e po|u o e|aus|ou
L
Va|ua|u|u e||a|c s|eep|u
|ab|s, aud |ea|u e||e|
||eduess o| s|eep|essuess
w|| red|ca|ou
()'()-0!#4
L
!||u||u |oue|r-ea|u we||
aud ee|c|s|u |eu|a||, o |eep
,ou| eue|, sab|e
L
Recou|.|u eue|, d|ps aud
ba|auc|u ,ou| ac|.||es o
r|u|r|.e |er
L
Eusu||u |a ,ou cous|seu|,
e euou| s|eep o awa|e
|e|es|ed eac| ro|u|u aud
|era|u a|e| ||ou| |e da,
-AINTAIN9OUR%NERGY
i
w
1he name of the game is taking care of yourself,
because you're going to live long enough to wish
you had.
'RACE-IRABELLA
113_ED245_US 113 31/7/06 4:59:55 pm
114_ED245_CMYK_ 114 11/4/06 6:40:46 pm

,EARNFROM9OUR-ISTAKES
UnIess you are very Iucky, noI every singIe sIep aIong
Ihe paIh Io your goaI viII go smooIhIy. DeaI viIh
misIakes and unforeseen probIems by Iooking on Ihem
as opporIuniIies from vhich you can Iearn.
4AKE0ROBLEMSIN3TRIDE
When somelhing does nol lurn oul as you expecled, ask
yoursell. "Whal do l need lo learn lrom lhis?" and creale
some menlal space lor lhe answer lo come lo you. Asking
lhis queslion means lhal you will learn lrom mislakes. ll
you choose nol lo learn lrom a parlicular mislake, lile will
keep sending you more opporlunilies lo learn lhal lesson
unlil you undersland whal il is lrying lo lell you.
2EMAIN2EALISTIC
One sure-lre way nol lo learn lrom lhe lessons lhal lile
gives us is lo prelend lhal lhere are no problems al all.
Somelimes, when lhings are going well, il can seem as
lhough lhal is lhe case. 8ul il you believe lhal everylhing
musl be perlecl, lhe lemplalion is lo ignore any signs lhal
THINK
3-!24
3TAYONTRACKANDAVOIDUNPLEASANTSURPRISESBY
MAKINGAhMINESWEEPvFROMTIMETOTIMETOCHECK
FORANYTHINGTHATCOULDKNOCKYOUOFFCOURSE
!|e uuc|ou o a r|uesweep |s o a|e| ,ou o au, c|aued
c||cursauces s|uce ,ou se ,ou| oa|.
L
w|a |as uo u|ued ou as l epeced1
L
w|a do l ueed o |eep au e,e ou1
L
w|a ueeds r, aeu|ou ||| uow1
L
w|a (| au,||u) ar l uo adr||u o r,se|1
!a|e |e app|op||ae ac|ou o dea| w|| au, couce|us |a
|ese ques|ous |||||| beo|e ro.|u ou.
CLT Tl NC THLPL
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115_ED245_CMYK_ 115 11/4/06 6:40:48 pm

il is nol. Cenerally, lhe longer a problem is lell wilhoul
being deall wilh, lhe more ellorl il lakes lo lx. The olher
drawback lo exlreme oplimism is lhal il leads lo an easily
dislurbed slale ol mind. When lhings do go wrong, il
becomes loo easy lo lake il personally, lo resenl lhe world
lor making you suller, and lo look lor olher people lo
blamenone ol which helps you lo solve lhe problem.
!CCEPT5NCERTAINTY
When you accepl lhal lile is nol perlecl, il becomes easier
lo see problems coming and prevenl lhem lrom
happening. ll also enables you lo learn lrom whalever
happens. Once you are conldenl lhal you will learn lrom
whalever lhe lulure brings, a lol ol lhe reasons lor
worrying aboul lhings going wrong will disappear.
LLAPN lPOM YOUP Ml STAKLS
1his is a quick way to burst
out of the "stuck" feeIing
that can happen when you
experience a setback.
l |e|ps ,ou o |eco.e| ,ou|
equ|||b||ur, |ea|u ,ou| cou|o|,
aud sa| ro.|u o|wa|d aa|u.
1 w|a sauds beweeu ,ou
aud ,ou| ue r||esoue1
ldeu|, as rau, e|ereus o
|e p|ob|er as poss|b|e.
2 !a|e eac| e|ereu aud dec|de
w|e|e| | |s w|||u ,ou|
powe| o | o| uo.
3 0ec|de w|a ,ou a|e o|u o
do abou eac| e|ereu |a
,ou cau -aud do |.
4 0oes w|a |s |e s||| sop
,ou |or |eac||u ,ou|
r||esoue1 l | does, as| o|
|e|p, o| a|e a d|e|eu |oue
o e o ,ou| oa|.
5 /s| ,ou|se| w|a ,ou ueed o
|ea|u |or ||s epe||euce.
t
TOPRACTICE
4%#(.)15%3
)TISEASYTOFEELGOODABOUTYOURSELFWHEN
THINGSAREGOINGWELL9OUSHOWYOURTRUECHARACTERIN
THESTRENGTHWITHWHICHYOURESPONDTOSETBACKS
4)0
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"EYOND9OUR'OALS
As you move Iovard your goaIs, you are aIso changing
yourseIf. The farIher you venIure beyond your comforI
zone, Ihe more you viII Iearn abouI yourseIf and abouI
vhaI iI's possibIe Io do in Ihe vorId.
,OOKFOR7HAT-AKES9OU(APPY
Pesearch has lound lhal an improvemenl in malerial
condilions (such as a lollery win or a promolion) brings a
lemporary increase in happiness, bul evenlually lhe
recipienl's happiness level reverls
lo around where il slarled. Only
when a gap al lhe lower levels ol
lhe Hierarchy ol Needs is llled is
lhere a permanenl increase in
happiness. Lasling happiness
invariably comes lrom your inner
allilude. Your goals may change
and evolve as you move loward
lhem, lor lwo reasons.
because you pick up more relevanl inlormalion as you

move loward your goals.
because you yoursell are evolving.

Work wilh lhisil you had nol sel your original goals,
you would never have lound lhal you can sel your sighls
higher. You may also come up againsl challenges lhal you
would nol have encounlered il you had slayed in your
comlorl zone. You now have plenly ol slralegies lor
dealing wilh lhem and can lackle lhem conldenlly.
%NJOYTHE&UTURE
Whal happens when you achieve lhe goals you have sel
yoursell? This is really a queslion lhal only your lulure sell
can answer. When you achieve your goals, you will see
new challenges and new opporlunilies beyond anylhing
lhal you can now imagineand lhe only way you will see
lhese wonderlul possibililies is lo slarl seriously working
loward lhe goals you have now.
!SONESET
OFGOALSIS
ACHIEVEDTHE
NEXTSET
EMERGES
CLT Tl NC THLPL
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1he famous psychoIogist Abraham MasIow introduced the
hierarchy of heeds modeI of human motivation, and it is
now wideIy accepted as a pattern in the way in which we
work toward our goaIs.
You read lhe Hierarchy ol
Needs lrom lhe bollom box
upward. The idea behind il is
lhal our goals will be direcled
loward salislying lhese needs in
order, slarling wilh lhe mosl
basiclood and sheller. ll
someone is homeless, lhey are
unlikely lo give much lhoughl
lo slalus or sell-lullllmenl unlil
lhey have deall wilh lheir mosl
pressing needs. You will nolice
lhal lhe lower levels are driven
enlirely by "away lrom"
molivalion, while lhe
molivalion al lhe highesl level
has become enlirely "loward"
lhe desired goal.
The praclical implicalion lhal
lhe hierarchy ol needs ollers
lor your goal-selling is lhal you
need lo make sure lhe basics
are in place belore selling
yoursell more abslracl goals.
8elore selling any goals, carry
oul some checks lo ensure
lhal your lnances, relalionships,
and heallh are all in good order
and working well.
8LYOND YOUP COAL S
4HE(IERARCHYOF.EEDS
1he hierarchy of heeds
SeIf-actuaIization
0ERSONALGROWTHANDFULlLLMENT
Lsteem
3TATUSANDACHIEVEMENT
8eIonging
2ELATIONSHIPSANDAFFECTION
Safety
0ROTECTIONANDSTABILITY
PhysicaI needs
&OODANDSHELTER
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Sec1_118_ED245_CMYK_ 118 11/4/06 6:40:55 pm

l NDLX
)NDEX
acceplance
uncerlainly !!5
valuing 35
anxiely, eliminalion !9, 64
apprecialive inquiry 34, 35
aulopilol, swilching oll 98
awareness, increasing 20
"away lrom" molivalion 30!, 5!, 8!,
!!7
beliels
as lillers 28
sell-lullilling 29
blame, sell-blame !4
body language, energy boosls !0!
brealhing
becoming calm !9
mind-clearing exercise 22
calleine, giving up !!2
cause and ellecl !6!7
cenler yoursell 20, 2!
checklisls, goal-selling 82
choice, remembering !00
commilmenl, enlhusiasm 87
comparisons !!0
consequences, goal-achieving 86
conlingency lime !07
cosls, achieving goals 86
Covey, Slephen 45
crealivily, loslering 32
crilicism, dealing wilh 723
Csikszenlmihalyi, Mihaly 77
declullering 80, !!0
displacemenl aclivilies 22, !00
drama, limil 3!
ellecls, P.O.W.L.P. 867
emolions
engagemenl !03
expressing 389
goal dislinclion 78
personal power !8
recognilion 26
energy
boosls !0!
mainlenance !!2!3
exercise, leeling beller 63
lailure
circle ol !5
learning lrom !!4!5
sell-blame !4
lhink leedback !5
leedback
crilicism 72
nol lailure !5
lillers, beliels 28
llexibilily
values 49
viewpoinls 70!
lloaling your goals 94
"llow" slales 77
locus
cenler yoursell 20, 2!
desired oulcomes !023
on lulure 77
habil eslablishmenl 98
on presenl !7
whal is working 345
whal you wanl 30!
lulure
enjoying !!6
locus on 77
goal placemenl 905
looking ahead 445, 76
Halo Lllecl 29
heallh, mainlaining !!2!3
highs and lows, charling 40
impacl
change implemenlalion 99
energy mainlenance !!3
highs and lows 40
looking ahead 44, 87
using help !04
impasse, breaking !00, !!5
imporlanl lasks, vs. urgenl 45
inner cluller, clearing 223
inner crilic, dealing wilh 67
inslincls, using 267
journals, keeping 4!
journeys, melaphors 39
known roules, P.O.W.L.P. 87
language, "nol" slalemenls 25, 823
limiling beliels, delealing 586!
luck, make your own !6
Maslow, Abraham !!7
memories
good 33, 64
viewpoinls 65
menlal energy
declullering 80
increasing 76
melaphors
expression 389
negalive 39
Sec1_118_ED245_US 118 31/7/06 5:00:05 pm
Sec1_119_ED245_CMYK_ 119 11/4/06 6:40:56 pm

l NDLX
posilive 38
mind-clearing exercise 22
minesweeps !!4
miracle queslion 63
money
molivalion 3!
specily goals 845
as a value 49
molivalion
"away lrom" 30!, 5!, 8!, !!7
reinlorcing !!!
"loward" 30!, 5!, 52, 8!, !!7
needs
hierarchy !!6, !!7
wanl dislinclion 8!
negalion 25, 823
negalivily, dillusing 65
nerves, becoming calm !9
Niebuhr, Peinhold 35
overload, dealing wilh !067
own business, lulure 44
ownership, P.O.W.L.P. 84
peripheral vision !9, 20
personal power, developing !82!
perspeclive, overload !07
Placebo Lllecl 29
planning
looking ahead 445
lreals 63
posilive lhinking 64
apprecialion 327
energy boosls !0!
leedback !5
P.O.W.L.P. 823
poslure
conlidence !00
energy boosls !0!
P.O.W.L.P. 829, 94
presenlalions
anxiely eliminalion 64
becoming calm !9
problems
learning lrom !!4!5
solving 25, 629
procraslinalion, slopping !07
projeclion, learning 73
public commilmenl 99
pulling oll lasks 45
Pygmalion Lllecl 29
queslions
aspiralional 60
limiling beliels 60
realizalion ol goals 96!!7
rehearsal, new beliels 6!
relalionships
dealing wilh people 703
problem solving 62
relaxalion
becoming calm !9
inner cluller 22
inner sancluary 23
problem solving 62
limelines 92
responsibilily, laking !4!7
Posenlhal, Poberl 29
ruls
gelling oul ol 63, !!5
melaphors 39
S.M.A.P.T goals 8!
sancluary, building 23
scale, problems 64
sell, recognilion 39
sell-assessmenl ol skills 7, 8!!
sell-awareness
developing 384!
raising !05
sell-blame !4
sell-ellicacy See personal power
sell-esleem, boosling 77
sell-image, living up lo !!0!!
sell-sabolage 27
sell-lalk, limiling beliels 58, 59
Serenily Prayer 35
selbacks !!4!5
selling goals 7689
solulion locus 62
specilying goals 845
slrenglhs
know your 345
playing lo !045
slress
3EE also relaxalion
becoming calm !9
posilivily 32
reduclion !00
Thorndike, Ldward 29
lime horizon 44
lime managemenl 45
limelines 90!, 92, 945
perspeclive !07
working backward !03
limelables 85
"loward" molivalion 30!, 5!, 52, 8!,
!!7
lriggers, delusing 66
uncerlainly, acceplance !!5
Sec1_119_ED245_US 119 31/7/06 5:00:06 pm
Sec1_120_ED245_CMYK_ 120 11/4/06 6:40:57 pm

unconscious
bad habils !!2
drama 3!
engaging 78
goal inslallalion 94
"nol" slalemenls 25, 823
power ol 249
lime organizalion 90
urgenl lasks, vs. imporlanl 45
values
conllicls 49, 50, 523
hierarchy 48, 49
knowing 4655
personal scale 46
viewpoinls
changing 64, 65
dispules 70!, 73
visualizalion
compelling goals 923
dillusing negalivily 65
new beliels 6!
specilying goals 845
limelines 9!
value conllicl 53
viewpoinl alleralion 64, 65
wanls, need dislinclion 8!
willpower 26
wriling goals down 99
0ICTURE#REDITS
The publisher would like lo lhank lhe lollowing lor lheir kind permission lo
reproduce lheir pholographs. Abbrevialions key . (l) = lell, (c) = cenler, (r) = righl,
(l) = lop, (b) = below, (cl) = cenler lell, (cr) = cenler righl.
1. Holger Winkler/zela/Corbis (l), Peg Charily/Corbis (c), Slephen Toner/Celly (r),
2. Johannes Kroemer/Celly, 3. Adrian Turner (l), Crealas/Phololibrary.com (c),
Adrian Turner (b), 5. Peler Cade/lconica/Celly, 7. Lric Wessman/lconica/Celly,
8. All-6/Alamy (l), Lricka McConnell/The lmage 8ank/Celly (cl), Chislain and Marie
David de Lossy/Celly (cr), Jim Craigmyle/Corbis (r), 13. Philippe Poyer/ HOA-
QUl/lmageslale, 17. Pandy laris/Corbis, 21. Adrian Turner, 23. Lricka McConnell/
The lmage 8ank/Celly. 27. Crealas/Phololibrary.com, 28. Holger Winkler/zela/
Corbis, 33. Pommel/Maslerlle, 37. Adrian Weinbrechl/Taxi/Celly, 55. Mallhias
Clamer/Celly, 57. Comslock Premium/Alamy, 67. 8rad Wilson/lconica/Celly, 69.
8ulch Marlin/Celly, 73. Chabruken/Taxi/Celly, 75. Slephen Toner/Slone/Celly,
83. Peg Charily/Corbis, 93. Chislain & Marie David de Lossy/Celly, 97. Chuck
Lllioll/The lmage 8ank/Celly, 101. Adrian Turner, 106. Jim Craigmyle/Corbis, 109.
Lric Wessman/lconica/Celly, 111. Colin Hawkins/Celly.
All olher images Dorling Kindersley.
lor lurlher inlormalion see www.dkimages.com
!UTHORS!CKNOWLEDGMENTS
The work ol Slephen Covey, in 4HE(ABITSOF(IGHLY%FFECTIVE0EOPLE, and ol
Mihaly Csikszenlmihaly, in &LOW was helplul. The P.O.W.L.P. process described in
Chapler 4 was originally developed by UK managemenl consullanl and coach
Jenny llinloll.
!UTHORS"IOGRAPHY
ANDY SMlTH is an emolional inlelligence coach and lrainer specializing in NLP
(Neuro-Linguislic Programming). He has been running lhe Creale lhe Lile You Wanl
workshop lor lhe lasl len years, and works wilh bolh privale and corporale clienls,
among lhem Sony, ClaxoSmilhKline, and lhe UK Nalional Heallh Service. He has
wrillen lor publicalions including 4HE*OURNALOF0RIMARY#ARE-ENTAL(EALTH and
4HE4HERAPIST. His company, Coaching Leaders Lld., also runs NLP Praclilioner and
Masler Praclilioner lraining in Manchesler, Lngland. lurlher delails are available
lrom www.praclicaleq.com. lree downloadable resources lo supporl lhis book are
also available al www.crealelhelileyouwanl.co.uk.
l NDLX
Sec1_120_ED245_US 120 31/7/06 5:00:06 pm

Achieve Your Goals-WORKLIFE

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WORKLIFE

Fractical techaiques, effective tips,

8et yaur gaals aad check yaur pragress

I SBN 1- 4053- 1586- 5

001-005-ED245-AchieveGoals.indd 4 12/4/06 10:43:24 am

001-005-ED245-AchieveGoals.indd 5 12/4/06 10:43:35 am

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Place your allenlion on a poinl

Slill looking slraighl ahead, allow

Pelax inlo lhis all-around awareness and nolice whal happens.

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21_ED245_CMYK_ 21 12/4/06 2:24:32 pm

22_ED245_CMYK_ 22 12/4/06 2:24:34 pm

lind a comlorlable place where you can close your eyes.

ln your mind's eye, lnd your lavorile place lo relax. ll could be

Nolice whal you can see and be aware ol lhe colors.

Lislen lo lhe peacelul, relaxing sounds.

Nolice how peacelul il leels, as you begin lo absorb lhe peace

Slay lor as long as leels righl, lhen relurn relreshed.

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012-041-EED245-Achi#128555.indd 32 12/4/06 3:21:00 pm

Think ol a happy memory. As you see il in your mind's eye,

ls lhe piclure lile-size, or smaller? 8ring il up lo lile-size.

ls il in color, or black and while? Make il colorlul.

34_ED245_CMYK_ 34 12/4/06 2:25:07 pm

Pale how posilive you leel al righl now on a scale ol ! lo !0.

Whal is working in your lile? Wrile il downil doesn'l maller

Whal are you good al?

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012-041-EED245-Achi#128555.indd 40 12/4/06 3:16:59 pm

012-041-EED245-Achi#128555.indd 41 12/4/06 3:16:51 pm

Ten minules ol wriling a day is enough lo give you uselul

Wrile whalever you lhink, wilhoul analyzing il or pre-planning

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Values should be abslracl. ll you reach a "concrele" answer

ll your values lisl includes a word like "salislaclion,"

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You can wrile lhe values on slicky noles lo make il easier lo

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