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challenges where thousands of people around th e world work together to achieve their goals and dreams. Search 21DJC Day 10 Who Do You EnjoySpending Time With? This is Day 10 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge (21DJC) for Nov 2011. View lis t of tasks: 21DJC Overview . Hi everyone Welcome to Day 10 of 21DJC! Yesterday s question was: What DrivesYou? . There were so many wonderful responses by all of you. Some of you are driven by growth. Some of you are driven by the d esire to make a difference. Some of you are driven by money . Some of you are dr iven by need for security . Some of you are driven by death from the death of th ose around you to knowing you ll die one day . Some of you are driven by the love for life. Some of you are drivenby connection. Some of you are driven by the abi lity to serve the world. Reading Personal Excellence , you should already know what I m driven by. I m driven by the desire to grow and help others grow . This is my life purpose ; this is my reason for being. This is why I started Personal Excellence to begin with to serve others and help them grow. It is my wish that we will be united as one wor ld one day, when all of us achieve our highest consciousness. There was an interesting point made by reader J , who shared a Tony Robbins theo ry that people are driven by pain and pleasure. While it is a valid observation, a more meaningful way to classify our motivators IMO would be (a) love-based dr ivers or (b) fear -baseddrivers. Love-based drivers refer to motivations that are rooted from a higher place, abo ve and beyond our physical self. Examples include desire to help others in need, to make the world a better place, to seek betterment, to make a difference, to empower others, and so on. These drivers can be characterized by the way they pul l us forward in life. People motivated by love-based drivers act out of natural d esire; they do not need to be triggered, reminded, or made to act. They do it on their own accord. Fear-based drivers refer to motivations that are rooted from ego and the physica l identity; they are very much centered on who we are and preservation of self. Examples include desire to prove one s worth, to acquirematerial wealth as status symbols to others, to achieve a certain place in the society to make his/her mark, to leave a legacy before one dies, fear of death , to put others down, to get a head in life, to prevent pain in life, andso on. These drivers are usually chara cterized by how they push us totake action. People motivated by fear-based drivers act because they have to do it; it s driven by urgency. They often suffer from pr ocrastination , lack of discipline , laziness, etc in some areas of their life. So what determines our drivers of motivation? It s linked to our consciousness lev el . People in fear-based consciousness are primarily motivated by fear-based fa ctors, while people in love-based consciousness are primarily motivated by lovebased factors. Since most of us are somewhere in between, we experience a mix of both drivers, with apredominant bias to one category. Ultimately, those who have reached the highest consciousness level i.e. Enlighte nment will be motivated solely by love and light. That s the level when fear and p ain will no longer play any rolein our life. Reader Bob puts it very well with t his example: my thoughts are that in a higher conscious state we will not be affe cted by fear/pain although this might happen to us ie. the death of a loved one . That s because it s at this consciousness level where we are understand events that normally triggerfear-based emotions at a transcendental level compared to thosew ho vibrate at other levels. With that said, let s now move to today s question! 21DJC Day 10 For today s question, I d like you to think about this: Who Do You Enjoy Spending Time With? Is it your best friend ? Your good friend(s)? Your mom ? Your dad ? Your sister?

Your brother? Your grandmother? Your grandfather? Your girlfriend? Your boyfrie nd? Your wife? Your husband? Your partner? Your colleague(s)? Your manager? Your mentor? Your coach? (You can list as many people as you want.) Who do you enjoy spending time with?And why? Quick update : Hey everyone! For today s question, the intent is to think about th e people you enjoy spending time with, beyond yourself. It s easy tosay that you l ike spending time with yourself (I like spending time with myself too). But how about other people in your life? We live in a world with other people, beyond ju st ourselves, and as humans, we are socialcreatures who thrive in meaningful con nections and relationships. So think about the people in your life, and if there s anyone you enjoy spending t ime with. Think about why you like spending time with them. And appreciate them for who they are, because there s a reason why your paths crossed in this life. The second (more subtle) intent of today s question, is to help you to make empowe ring friendships . By beingaware of the traits that resonate with you, you can c onsciously gravitate toward the people who share those traits. This helps you to make friendships that support you, friendshipsthat you bring the best out of yo u . 2nd Update : As an additional clarification, this is not about asking youto choo se between spending time withyourself or with others. It s not a mutually exclusiv e relationship one can enjoy spending time alone just as one can enjoy spending time with others. Both can coexist perfectly and there s no need to make compariso ns between them. Do focus your answers on the people you enjoy spending timewith in today s answer, as explained above. Thank you! Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form wh ich you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your private 21DJC journaling room , if you will. You will be seeing this form every day, for th e 21 days of the challenge. There s a button for you to keep track of your word co unt too, if you re interested. (Note you will not see the form below if you re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.) Who Do You Enjoy Spending Time With? [include_HTML: http://personalexcellence.co/challenges/21djc/wordcount.php] Your Task Today: 1. Reflect and answer today s question . There s no word limit whether minimum or ma ximum. Writeas few or as many words as you want. It s all up to what you want toex press! 2. Share your answer . After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there. 3. Check out other participants answers . Other participants will be sharing thei r answers too, so feel freeto read and reply to their answers . This is a group course, so let s support each other in these 21 days. Look forward to reading your answers! This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 at 5:13 pm and is filled u nder: 21-Day Journaling Challenge 147 Responses to ??DJC Day 10 Who Do You Enjoy Spending Time With? Iwona Says: November 15th, 2011 at 5:17 pm I like to spend time with a genuine person. Someone that feels good in her own s kin with no need to pretend.Very honest and open. Fullfilled in life and happy. That is why I love(d) to spend time with my kids as they embody all of the above characteristics the version of my kids before they turned into moody teenagers :-) To give an example of the well known personalities that I would love to hang out with is Meryl Streep. She is the type of a person that seems whole andcomplete and very comfortable to be with. She would be a joy to be with, I think. Like: +2 Fiat Says: November 15th, 2011 at 5:39 pm I enjoy spending time with myself, because I can have a quiet time alone to read

, contemplate, enjoy the movie,doing any activity I like most. That s forpersonal joy. I also enjoy spending time with my wifeand son, I m grateful for the wonderful fam ily. Spending time with self-developed people, are always increase my enthusiasm for I have the opportunity to learn and discuss things to develop my self. Like: 0 Lex Says: November 15th, 2011 at 5:41 pm Now, this will make me feel like a really weird person which i am. I do have fri ends, mind it I just don t meet them much. Here s the thing : I hate the sound of human voice. I hate the way people express themselves, the way they write or say things that are hard to understand or have a double meaning or just aren t true. I like spending sometime with my friends, o f course, but not too much. I liked spending time with my boyfriend (yes, I used to have a boyfriend), as long as we d laugh and not speak too much. I like spendi ng time with the girl sitting next to me in my class because she s kind of weird t oo and classes are boring. I don t like spending time with anyone else, when you think of it or maybe the peo ple I interview. I love asking people question, and being on screen. But once again, I hate voices. I used tolock myself in my bedroom and wear unplu gged headphones all the time, just not to hear people in the house. I like music , and I like silence. Spending time with silent people is kind of hard, don t you think ? So my best friend is aguitarist, he doesn t speak a lot. And most of my ot her friends, I don t see them very often, I like talking to them through the compu ter instead. So I don t have many friends but the ones Ihave, I really love them f or understanding me. Don t judge me. Like: +1 alix Says: November 15th, 2011 at 5:49 pm Right now I don t have many close friends and I m not really close to my family. I l ike spending time with myself mostly. There are times I feel kinda lonely but I don t want to pretend to be like them to get on well with them. I just haven t found my people yet. Like: +2 Laurel Says: November 15th, 2011 at 6:17 pm First thing that comes to mind? Everyone! My family, my friends, my horses, peop le at work, basically anytime I m around happy laughing people I m enjoying myself. Like: 0 Ankita Says: November 15th, 2011 at 6:28 pm I love spending time with friends and family. My friends are wonderful and I lov e hearing about all their new adventures. My family is very dear to me too and I especially love spending time with my cousins, aunts, and uncleswho live far aw ay and I don t get to see too often. I feel that I am pretty open and can enjoy ti me spent with strangers too. Pretty much, anyone who is genuine, down to earth, and can make me laugh is someone I d enjoy spending time with. Like: +1 Glenn Says: November 15th, 2011 at 6:28 pm Who I enjoy spending time with. Not such a difficult question. Most of allI would have to say my wife Lydia. Eve n though we each need our own space at times, we always find the timefor each ot her and get along really well.Eating out together, probably more than we should, or perhaps watch a movie. I enjoy spending time with her family too. They re happ y people and I get along really well with them also. Most of the conversation is usually about food though I enjoy spending time with my own relatives too. I don t see them as oftenas I sho

uld, but it s always nice to catchup and have a chat about what s been happening and all the latest family gossip. Sometimes it may only be at Christmas or a family wedding that I ll see them, but that s not so bad. Then there are all my friends. Not too many either, but those I do keep in conta ct with I do enjoy spending time with. Mostly music friends, many of whom I ve wor ked with in the past, either helping them record their music, or have shot music videos for. We can chat about old times, or talk about what we re currently worki ng on. At the end of the day, I would have tosay that those I enjoy spending time with the most are those who are friendly and open. But friendly enough that we can be joking around about different things without anyone being offended. Or even peo ple who are interested in what I m doing, or those who share similar creative inte rests. Like: +2 Mick Says: November 15th, 2011 at 6:52 pm I like spending time with my fiance especially when we are just relaxing, watchi ng tv, going for a walk, having lunch out, quality time together rather than cle aning the house together! Andchatting in bed before going to sleep, anice way to relax at the end of the day. I also like to spend time with my immediate family my parents and my brother who is also a close friend. I see the latter less these days as he has his own fami ly and commitments, but still see him occasionally. I aim to spend at least an h our with my parents each weekend as I love their company too as well as my fianc e s parents. I also enjoy meeting up with friends. I am really looking forward to going out t o lunch with my fiance and another couple who I was fortunate enough to be their best man in May this year, at a well known local(ish) pub that I have wanted to go to for a long while and finally I ve made it happen! Just need to do it! As well as all of the above, I enjoy spending time with myself, and I do not do it often enough. I d love to justsit in peace for 20 minutes or so and relax, thin k, meditate and reflect. But I never do. Alternatively I love walking alone too and just thinking about things it allows for ideas to be generated, solutions to be thought up and allows me to calm down and be happy. I must do this more! :-) Like: +1 lotusbleu Says: November 15th, 2011 at 7:08 pm I love to spend time with myself, mainlybecause I m a loner. Like: 0 Celes Says: November 15th, 2011 at 7:17 pm Hey everyone! For today s question, the intent is to think about the people you en joy spending time with, beyond yourself. It s easy to say that you like spending t ime with yourself (I like spending time with myself too) But how about other peo ple in your life? We live in a world with other people, beyond just ourselves, a nd as humans, we are social creatures who thrive in meaningful connections and r elationships. So think about the people in your life, and if there s anyone you enjoy spending t ime with. Think about why you like spending time with them. And appreciate them for who they are, because there s a reason why your paths crossed in this life. Like: +8 Ezza Says: November 15th, 2011 at 7:24 pm Hi Celes, Absolutely good point. I couldn t of said it better! I believe this is the approach I am taking to journal about today s tasks. Thank y ou for the clarification. Kudos. xx Like: +2 lotusbleu Says: November 15th, 2011 at 7:37 pm

My cat Orange for not being judgmental. Like: +1 lotusbleu Says: November 15th, 2011 at 7:38 pm And my friend Faith for being so-like-me. Like: 0 Peggy Says: November 15th, 2011 at 7:43 pm With my husband, my kids, other relatives and friends. I enjoy some of my co-wor kers. We have a good group of friends and are pretty social. I have some in-laws that are a lot of fun and I enjoy my ladies golf group. I have church friends a nd old school friends. I m very blessed when it comes to friends and socializing. I miss my Mom and Dad. I guess if I had to choose oneperson it would be my husba nd. We get each other and have fun traveling, playing golf and even going to the grocery store. Like: 0 Asni Says: November 15th, 2011 at 8:19 pm I m also basically a loner, don t talk much, uncomfortable at parties or functions, dislike empty talk, etc. etc. I would at first like to say that I like most is to spend time with myself, not thinking about anything but just be. I don t like to be in the company of someone who talks a lot, non-stop, talking about all subjects under the sun, from A to Z . You know, sometimes, when I get on the bus or train and when I m sitting near tw o people who talks non-stop from the moment they get on to the moment they aligh t? Then, there are some people who will yak on the hand phonefrom the start of t he journey to the end? (Sorry, going off the subject!) Okay, since I have to put in other people other than moi I would say, my family and the children in my school. In our busy day-to-day life, sometimes we get to see other people more than our own family! Morning time, children off to school when it s still dark, then mummy and daddy also out on their separate way going to work. We spend8-9 hours, perha ps more, at work. Then home, the children doing their homework, mummy busy prepa ring andcooking dinner and catching up with perhaps some housework like washing or ironing, quick dinner and before you know it its bed time. The cycle goes ona nd before you know it, it s one year gone. That is why every moment that Iget to s pend with my family either at home or for some birthday celebration, etc. are th e moments that I will treasure all my life. Family bonding is very special and i mportant to me. The children in school where I work aregood therapy for my soul. With their misc hief and pranks though some are little angels, they have taught me so much about myself. They made me feelyoung, curious and happy without any reason. They taug ht me patience, humility and love. Well, thanks Celeste, I realize there are other people I enjoy spending time wit h beside myself! Didn t know that myself till I write this. Like: +4 Asni Says: November 15th, 2011 at 8:24 pm Yay, finally managed to get my avatar on! Like: +2 Shannon deLonge Says: November 15th, 2011 at 8:34 pm i enjoy spending time with a lot of people in my life I have a lot of great frie nds I am honored to have. I have a crazy Jerry Springer like family but they are my family and I love them all through thick and thin. But the person who I enjo y spend all my time with is my best friend Krystel. Krystel and I have known eac h other since middle school. The minute we met we had that special sister connec tion. I can tell her everything and anything and when we are together it is neve r a dull moment. Our conversations are good even when the conversations are bad the conversations are still good becausewe have a unique understanding of each o

ther. All so we have tons of likesand stuff in common. But really I am glad she is not my sister because I am happy with just having my big brother. I am a very lucky person. It is hard to make my mind up on who I enjoy spending my time wit h. When it comesright down to it I would pick Krystel over and over again. Just Krystel and I spend everyday together we have a special routine. I love her and everyonein my life I just love Krystel a little bit more. Like: +1 Shannon deLonge Says: November 15th, 2011 at 8:39 pm I wish I was like you and Iwona. I have a fear of spending time by my self. When I am alone I start to hear my thoughts that is scary sometimes .I think it is n eat you do this. Any tips or advice on how I can spend time alone with out fear? Like: 0 Shannon deLonge Says: November 15th, 2011 at 8:45 pm I don t think you are weird. I wish I hadread this post first. I have a fear of be ing alone and I have to be around people to be happy. But I find my self not hap py it is like a up and down thingwith me really. I have my moments where I want to be alone I feel the same way as you at times. I hate answering machines becau se no one sounds the same on them. I hate leaving messages on answering machines because I don;t like how I sound. I don t like noisy during sex or people screami ng. In a small way I can relate to you. I think it is just because Imaybe over a ll a weird person who can t make their mind up and is bothered by too much crap. I feel like Imake no sense. I love quite time my daughter hates it but she has to give itto me. People are really , really annoying for the most part. Like: +1 karen Says: November 15th, 2011 at 8:59 pm I enjoy spending time with my boyfriend because he is caring, loving, patient an d supportive. He is my best friend and I could not have imagined ever finding an yone like him. He is deepand intelligent and creative and driven. And he believe s in me and tells me I can achieve anything. He s the person who knows and underst ands me best in the world. And the only person I cantruly be myself around witho ut being worried that he will reject me or leave or think I am strange. He has a calming effect on me and helps me to believe in myself and feel better whenever I feel negative or down. He is wonderful and I m blessed and grateful to have him in my life. Like: +2 Jacquie Says: November 15th, 2011 at 9:10 pm I enjoy spending time with my husband, because we are soul-mates. We have the sa me sense of warped humour and laugh many times a day, we enjoy the same movies a nd music and love to travel. He is easy going andlaid back, is very slow to ange r and doesn t sweat the small stuff. I also enjoy spending time with him because w e are also different in many ways, andI learn so much from him and I hope vice-v ersa. Our personalities balance each other. Along with every day romance of some sort, there is always fun .what a fabulous combination! I feel warm, protected, loved and adored when with (and even when notwith) my hu sband. I also enjoy being with my son who is now 22 years. Since he become an older tee n, he hasn t spent as much time with me and that is understandable, so it s such a t reat when I have him all to myself for even an hour. He and I still enjoy the sa me warped humour (see a family trait here? lol) and from him also, I learn much and hopefully he is learning from me as well. My two men .time with them is precious. Like: +4 Mirna Says: November 15th, 2011 at 9:11 pm I enjoy spending time with my youngerbrother because he is the coolest mostheadon-his-shoulders person I know. And also because when I spend time with him I fe

el he cares about me and we laugh a lot(he s pretty funny). I ve spent most of my life hanging out with him, and even though he has his own li fe now, I still appreciate the space he has for me. I am soo grateful for him be ing my buddy and brother. I also enjoy spending time with some ofmy collegues from college because some of them are amusing, some of them are kind, some of them are fun to be around and they make me feel next page 1