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Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

Blogging as Communicating Intra- and Inter- Personal Identity, Story, Growth, and Passion Dena M. Rosko Gonzaga University

ComL 515, Section B1 Dr. Heather Crandall 29 April 2010

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Table of Contents

Introduction..................................................................................................................................4 Theoretical Frameworks..............................................................................................................5 Symbolic-Interpretive (SI).......................................................................................................5 Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM).......................................................................5 Phenomonology.......................................................................................................................6 Socio-Technical Systems.........................................................................................................6 Research Approach: Ethnography and Performance Narrative..................................................6 Preferring a Qualitative Approach...........................................................................................6 Performance ethnography....................................................................................................6 Methodology................................................................................................................................7 Multi-Narrative Sources...........................................................................................................7 Sampling Plan..........................................................................................................................7 Participant Observation............................................................................................................7 Focus Group.............................................................................................................................8 Interpretation Method..............................................................................................................9 Research Assets and Challenges..................................................................................................9 Assets.......................................................................................................................................9 Credibility, transparency, and authenticity..........................................................................9 Ethical process...................................................................................................................10 Challenges..............................................................................................................................10 Research bias.....................................................................................................................10 Ethical concerns.................................................................................................................11 Findings......................................................................................................................................12 Participant Observation Findings: In-Depth Interview..........................................................12 Interpersonal dynamics......................................................................................................12 Participant Observation Findings: Focus Group....................................................................12 Small group dynamics........................................................................................................12 Responses: Focus Group........................................................................................................13 Themes...............................................................................................................................13 Group performance............................................................................................................14 Responses: Interview.............................................................................................................16 Themes...............................................................................................................................16 Motivations and outcomes.................................................................................................16 Keywords and phrases.......................................................................................................17 Performance: Anna...........................................................................................................17 Performance: Chevas........................................................................................................21 Integrating and Discussing Findings..........................................................................................22 Relevant Literature on Blogging................................................................................................24 Intrapersonal Communication................................................................................................24 Identity...............................................................................................................................24 Dynamic.............................................................................................................................25 Sensory...............................................................................................................................25 Physical..............................................................................................................................26 Attachment.........................................................................................................................26 Interpersonal Communication................................................................................................26 Conversation......................................................................................................................26 Healing...............................................................................................................................27

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

Credibility..........................................................................................................................27 Rhetoric..............................................................................................................................27 Group Communication...........................................................................................................28 Transformation...................................................................................................................28 Empowerment....................................................................................................................28 Communicating Community..................................................................................................29 Symbol...............................................................................................................................30 Implications for Communication, Leadership, and Ethics.........................................................31 Communication for Community............................................................................................31 Lead with Story......................................................................................................................31 Ethics......................................................................................................................................32 Reflexivity..........................................................................................................................32 Vulnerability......................................................................................................................32 Dialogue.............................................................................................................................32 Suggestions for Future Research...............................................................................................33 Feedback................................................................................................................................33 Directions...............................................................................................................................33 Conclusion...........................................................................................................................................................34 References............................................................................................................................................................35 Appendix A: Exploratory Interview Questions............................................................................................41 Appendix B: Invitation to Participate.............................................................................................................42 Appendix C: Study Disclosure Statement......................................................................................................43 Appendix D: Interview Participants Consent Form...................................................................................44 Appendix E: Focus Group Questions............................................................................................................45 Appendix F: Focus Group Participants Consent Form.............................................................................46 Appendix G: Initial Focus Group Sampling Plan.......................................................................................47 Appendix H: Focus Group Email Messages................................................................................................49 Attempt #1.............................................................................................................................49 Follow-Up #1.........................................................................................................................50 Follow-Up #2.........................................................................................................................50 Follow-Up #3.........................................................................................................................51 Appendix I: Blog Titles and Links...................................................................................................................52 Appendix J: Screen Images..............................................................................................................................53 Author's Note.....................................................................................................................................................55

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

Blogging as Communicating Intra- and Inter- Personal Identity, Story, Growth, and Passion Introduction This paper will explore blogging as ethnographic performance narrative through intra- and inter-personal communication as identity formation, story-telling, empowerment, transformation, and healing. Initially, I explored these research questions: "In what ways do people blog their loss experiences?" (R1), and "What benefits to people experience when they blog their loss experiences?" (R2). I wanted to better understand the ways that blogging symbolizes dialogue as performance, healing, and formative narrative in computer mediated communication (CMC). Soon I discovered blogging, as CMC (Thurlow, Lengel, & Tomic, 2004), is multi-faceted, so broadened my topic to explore the ways that blogging impacts intra-, inter-, small group, and communal communication. I nest findings in Symbolic-Interpretive (SI, Frey & Sunwolf, 2005), Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM, Cronen, 2001; Pearce 2000a; 2000b; 2004; 2008), phenomenological (Rogers, 1989), and socio-technical systems (Trist & Bamforth, 1951, cited in Kim, 2008, p. 1345) perspectives. I present findings from two (2) in-depth interviews and one (1) focus group. I discuss and integrate findings, reference relevant descriptive and empiric works on blogging, and acknowledge research assets and challenges. I then discuss implications for communication, leadership, and ethics and suggest future directions for research. I include interview questions and focus group questions (Appendices A & E), invitation to participate, study disclosure, and consent forms (Appendices B-D, F), an initial focus group sampling plan for future research refinement (Appendix G-H), and actual blog links (Appendix I). I show screen captures of interviewee blogs in Figures 1.1 and 1.2 (Appendix J). I desire that these findings yield creative opportunities for communicating formative leadership with CMC.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Theoretical Frameworks Symbolic-Interpretive (SI)

The symbolic-interpretive perspective illumines groups as symbols, where groups symbolize their identity through group practices, processes, and products (Frey & Sunwolf, 2005). Performance narratives, such as in blogging, symbolize the practice by which individuals and groups express their task, mission, and bond with people (Frey & Sunwolf). These symbols illumine group experiences, resources, and values, and predispose people to interact in certain ways (Frey & Sunwolf). Time, culture, space or context, and relationships mediate group behaviors, all of which affect each other (Frey & Sunwolf). This context drives group interactions (Frey & Sunwolf). A literary culture creates a process to symbolize meaning through words (Ong, 1982). Interpreting group behaviors through symbols means people communicate their reality and language as ways to identify their selves in relation to with others. Thus, the symbolic process itself becomes as dynamic as its outcome (Frey & Sunwolf, 2005). Blogging, as a symbol and process, coordinates meaning in identity, relationship, and experience for members through language as text and pixels. Language as a textual symbol, process, and product bears ethical implications for sociallyconstructed identities (Luce-Kapler, 2004; Sheldon, 2008). Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM) People co-create stories of told and lived in the episodic speech acts, or sequences of verbal and nonverbal messages that build the story (Cronen, 2001; Pearce, 2004; 2008). This emphasis on co-created narratives relies on social constructionism, or the view that people construct their social realities through language in order to make a better social world (Griffin, 2009). People tell stories as told to sense-make their experiences and tell stories lived to narrate their experiences with others, which can improve their shared life experience (Cronen, 2001; Pearce, 2004; 2008).

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Phenomonology

Rogers (1989) conceptualized intra- and inter- personal communication as an internal and external process of becoming. Becoming means persons creatively expresses their Selves in relation to the Self and to Others until she or he becomes content with this identification (Rogers). This contentment results in authentic selves and relationships (Rogers). People must perceive a psychologically safe environment that allows them freedom to express identity and relationship for this process to occur (Rogers). Socio-Technical Systems Socio-technical systems theory assesses technology from a holistic paradigm: social, psychological, environmental, and technical outcomes (Trist & Bamforth, 1951, cited in Kim, 2008, p. 1349). This holistic approach fits nicely with SI, CMM, and PT interpersonal and small group communication perspectives because these perspectives assume that people need to creatively express themselves to live as whole and connected beings. Research Approach: Ethnography and Performance Narrative Preferring a Qualitative Approach Research formally, systematically, and cumulatively processes inquiry (Rubin, Rubin, Haridakis, & Piele, 2010). I chose a qualitative research method given it allows for greater dynamism and access to people and phenomenon instead of restricting variables to time, trait-based categories, and causality as quantitative approaches can do (Elliott, 2005). Performance ethnography. I share findings as performance ethnography, which allows me to explore persons' intra- and inter- personal experiences in blogging contexts in relation to social change. Ethnographic narrative within Palmer's (1990; 1993; 1998; 2000; 2004) formative leadership and Rogers' (1989)

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

phenomenology allows me to explore persons' affective, formative, and relational experiences as they perform their identities and communication experiences online. Methodology Multi-Narrative Sources Yukl (2006) suggested a multi-method can prevent an over-reliance on one method or source of information, and so improve research credibility. I relied on in-depth interviews, the focus group, and participant observations to enhance credibility. Sampling Plan I used purposive and convenience, both non-probability, samples. In a purposive sample, I choose the context and people for my inquiry. I conducted two (2) in-depth interviews with Anna Studenny and Chevas Balloun (permission granted), both blog writers, and one (1) focus group of three (3) classmates, Patti, Victoria, and Garrett (permission granted), each minimal to moderate blog readers. My classmates comprised my convenience sample. I conducted Annas interview inperson, Chevas interview over the phone, and the focus group as a conference call. Participant Observation I observed interpersonal and small group interactions among all participants, including myself. While observing I listened for repeated keywords and the level of disclosure shared in order to assess participant-participant and participant-researcher interaction in the focus group and interview contexts. One-on-One In-Depth Interviews The interview method elicits new information and satisfies a human need (Millar & Gallagher, 2000). As such, the interview method distinguishes itself from other methods (Millar & Gallagher). The interview method embraces interpersonal storytelling and incorporates the interaction to illumine research themes (Millar & Gallagher).

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

I conducted my in-person in-depth interview at Annas private residence on April 2, 2010 and conducted the tele-interview with Chevas in my home office on April 12, 2010. I asked for permission to disclose the interviewee's identity and provided an opt-out should the interviewee want confidentiality (Millar & Gallagher). This transparency valued ethics (Millar & Gallagher). I prepared seven (7) questions in advance for Anna, which yielded four (4) theme-based questions to use for Chevas and the focus group. I communicated the exploratory nature of the interview by emphasizing the importance of asking open-ended and follow-up questions (Millar & Gallagher). This exploratory approach freed participants from conforming to my views (Millar & Gallagher). I took notes by hand for both interviews and recorded Annas interview. I made regular eye contact to avoid giving the impression that I was self-absorbed in my notes (Millar & Gallagher). I sought social and cognitive closure by thanking Anna and Chevas at the close of the interview, wanting to be sure that they left feeling more encouraged and appreciated than I found them (Millar & Gallagher). See Appendix A for interview questions. Focus Group Initially I designed two (2) focus group sampling plans for blog writers and had planned to use the convenience sample as a control group, or one from a readers perspective. I wanted to gauge if there was any difference in my findings with persons who blogged and those who didn't. While this study emphasizes blogging as performance narrative to explore intra- and interpersonal communication in loss, healing, and identity, I wanted to see to what degree do others who do not write blogs relate to those who do. However, while three (3) people expressed interest, only one (1) joined the call. I include these sampling plans in Appendix G to aid with improving research design. I conducted the actual focus group via tele-conference given the diverse locations of participants. I introduced my topic as interpersonal communication and blogging, and told participants to answer questions based on their experience with blogs, whether it be writing or

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING reading them. The focus group took place on 4/19/2010 and all three (3) participants gave permission to use their names: Victoria, Patti, and Garrett. I made a special effort to integrate

outlier responses by communicating to one participant with a divergent view that I welcomed his input as outlier responses can illumine dynamics I had not considered (Gonzaga University, 2010a). I believe this effort made a safe place for people to disclose their honest opinions, and challenged my assumptions and revealed dynamic findings. See Appendix E for focus group questions. Interpretation Method I interpreted findings by first familiarizing myself with the narrative and then connected themes from the interview, focus group, and participant-observation (Millar & Gallagher, 2000). I analyze and present findings through describing interpersonal and small group dynamics, listing themes, motivations, and outcomes, and paraphrasing or performing responses. Research Assets and Challenges I explain research implications as assets and challenges to my research design. Assets I recognize my approach lacks quantitative measures for a sound design because my approach is not a quantitative study. I maintain a different imperative: to understand, rather than predict, to relate, rather than replicate, and to understand, rather than retro-justify. I find these outcomes better suited to researching people and phenomena in daily life contexts. I suggest evaluating the soundness of my design based on qualitative measures other than validity, reliability, and generalizability, as follows: Credibility, transparency, and authenticity. Qualitative research measures sound designs based on trust (credibility, transferability, dependability, and confirmability) and authenticity (fairness, understandability, educative, and potential for social change, Bryman, 2008).

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Ethical process.

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Elliott (2005) worried that quantitative research obscures the person and lacks "attention to the motives and values that guide the actions of individuals and specific cultural contexts" (p. 122). Ethnographic ethics challenge me to humanize participants and do what I can to reduce power and distance and to symbolize hope (Denzin, 2003a). Challenges Research bias. The sampling plan yields research bias in that purposive samples reflect my pre-existing relationships with people who share similar views. Additionally, focus group participants were graduate students. I offset potential bias by asking open-ended and follow-up questions, and by working to integrate outliers in the focus group. I adapted my assumptions when focus group participants were mild to moderate blog readers instead of writers, whom I initially planned to study. These adjustments yielded more rich findings and better reflected the dynamic interpersonal and small group nature of research and blogging. All measures are imperfect; all operational variables are subject to error, and all samples subject to bias (Gonzaga University, 2010b). My research is not a quantitative approach, and so has imperfect quantitative measures. For instance, my research has low reliability and low external and internal validity because my sample is nonrandom and limited to two (2) people and a focus group of three (3) people. I accept bias as a reality regardless the research method, and adding more persons to a sample does not necessarily mean findings accurately represent or measure a phenomenon. I cannot eliminate these biases, but allow them to inform my design ethics. My sample may have spurious variables, or variables that measure constructs other than the one(s) I want to measure. For instance, while I think I'm recording responses explaining blogging as

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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a symbolic process to communicate the self in relation with others and with community, participants may be communicating from a different vantage point. Here, outlier responses helped. Additionally, focus groups risk respondent bias such as groupthink and acquiescence (Bryman, 2008; Gonzaga, 2010b; Hoyle, Harris, & Judd, 2002). To offset this bias, I asked openended and probing questions when participants agreed or deferred to each other. To offset spurious variables, I wrote clear and single-barreled open-ended questions to avoid confusing participants. Ethical concerns. My research design imparts ethical concerns such as informed consent, protecting the privacy of others, maintaining relationships with colleagues, whose participation may or may not impact their academic standing, and my own safety in the initial random sample that I had designed for a focus group of strangers. I addressed these ethical concerns by creating communication process for transparency where I designed informed consent, study disclosure, and invitation to participate forms and asked participants if they had any questions. I worked to establish a rapport with each participant, and asking follow-up questions specifically benefited ethics by allowing participants to speak their own views, which I have normalized by integrating into the study. Another ethical concern for me involved displaying and analyzing findings via ethnographic performance narrative. In this style, I offset my ethical concern for representation by doing my best to paraphrase and to quote participants' responses and to represent the spirit behind their words. Ultimately, writing about others is a funny business (Behar, 1996). Given the limitations of my perceptions, it seems the only ethical research approach is to write about the self (Denzin, May 4, 2006, personal communication, cited in Ruskai Melina, 2008, p. 161) because even informed consent (Denzin, 2003a) and one's best intentions and efforts (Ellis, 2008) fall short of representing others as wholly known. In any case, ethical concerns benefited this research by nurturing a rich and humane

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING space where people stayed in conversation with each other about a timely and relevant communication topic. Findings Participant Observation Findings: In-Depth Interview Interpersonal dynamics.

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I discovered a relational, descriptive, and inquisitive dynamic in the interpersonal interview. Illumined by two soft halogen lamps and a picture window, Anna and I sat across from each other with a table in between and a cup of Jasmine Green tea. The interviewee sat rocking on her new-toher green and yellow plaid couch, and I sat across from her on her custom-made couch that friends had given her. I asked her my prepared questions and then let her share her story uninterrupted for 1.5 hours, only occasionally asking a follow-up or clarifying question. I conducted a tele-interview with Chevas using the four (4) focus group questions (Appendix E) as the opportunity arose when he joined one of the conference calls I had set up for another nonrandom sample I had designed for the focus group. Both interviews provided rich detail and rapport, including an opportunity for me to explore my questions congruence and relevance to participants experiences. This way I allowed the research process to morph and adjust my expectations. After Annas interview, I find-tuned and clarified my focus group questions and so felt better prepared. Participant Observation Findings: Focus Group Small group dynamics. Interviewing the focus group provided a more structured approach than the personal oneon-one interview given time constraints and the multiple people involved. Two moderators asked their four (4) prepared questions, taking about 5-10 minutes per question. I found this time limit helped participants to focus their responses and moderators to focus their questions. Initially,

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING participants expressed confusion as to who should speak and when, tripping over each other's

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words, but soon we easily jumped into a routine of taking turns and replying in the same order. I worked to keep everyone on track with the questions, occasionally allowing participants to respond to each other's comments. As a moderator, I observed how easy it can be used to show favoritism to participant's answers, and how easy it can be to go with them to say for certain response relevant to my assumptions and research topic. To avoid biasing answers and to show courtesy, I invited each person to participate with each question without giving kudos or criticisms such as I have experienced when participating in a focus group. When Garrett gave his outlier response, I suggested to him that his response can be beneficial to my study and encouraged him to continue participating in the following questions. Namely, I wanted to ensure that participants felt free to speak their views instead of complying with mine as a way to affirm me as a person or my topic choice. I found it beneficial to ask follow-up questions and to introduce my topic and questions as open-ended as possible to allow participants to reply based on their views and experiences. I learned the value of moving past feeling rejected should a response differ from my expectations. Responses: Focus Group Themes. The focus group revealed the following blogging themes: a desire for credibility keeping in touch a fun diversion not a serious, informative, or reliable road to career or scholarship

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Group performance. For my first question, Patti answered that she reads blogs as a quick read, and liked the immediateness of blogs. Vicki, who reads her daughter's blog, said she liked the "rich way" to

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interact with her daughter who taught English overseas. Vicki described this blog as an "in-depth and enhanced" method that allowed her to view photos, text, video, and even take a tour of her daughter's apartment. Garrett voiced dislike for blogs because he distinguishes between direct reportage of professional content, such as a news item written by an association, and that he "loathes" the "random and inflammatory opinions" in personal weblogs. I found Garrett's comments helpful as an outlier response to understand why persons may avoid reading blogs. For my second question, Patti said she likes to view blogs for fun such as entertainment, cooking, and sports, but does not use blogs to keep in touch with people or to advance her career. She finds the content in blogs may lack an informative or proven capacity to contribute to her marketing career. Vicki enjoys keeping in touch with her daughter, and briefly viewed Gonzaga's basketball blog (her husband works for the athletic department), but felt blogs were not worth her time and did not have enough information to keep her interested. Garrett prefers reading professional content of blogs, and for his job creates social media networks for clients. He measures experience and association as credentials for professional content, offering the example of a person who ran a political campaign for 30 years and posts information about his experiences to a blog. Garrett will read such a blog as an "official release," but he avoids reading personal blogs, which he surmises are written by a person "sitting at his computer in his pajamas" who may or may not have something credible or informative to say. For my third question, Patti said she regards blogs as a small part of her life and compared them to a magazine, or a publication she won't subscribe to, but will pick up and read if the magazine is in front of her. She looks at blogs when she "needs a mindless divergence" to her life.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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Vicki described blogs as a one-way communication, though she acknowledged she replies via e-mail to her daughter if she liked a blog post. Vicki expressed frustration with the need to login to a blogging portal in order to post a comment. She described this process as "laborious" and a turn off to using blogs. Garrett does not use blogs as a site of "personal interaction" and expressed frustration with what he called "mini-blogging," or when people post comments on professional content. He compared their "unformulated opinions" to an art museum allowing patrons to write comments next to a piece of art that hung on the wall, concluding that there should be "no place" for comments on professional content blogs. For my fourth and final question, I wanted to know in what ways blogging impacted people's identities as intra- and inter- personal, and if so (or if not), then why. Patti said blogs impact her intergenerational and technical status identity. "My mom thinks I'm a computer genius," she said, just by virtue that she visits blogs potentially more than do older generations. Vicki deferred to Garrett for the question, and Garrett said that blogs help to identify himself in terms of who he is not: "a faithful blogging guy." He does identify himself with professional blog content, which he described as related to professional associations that provide an "expert level of authority on the content." In this way he views his identity in relationship with experts and info-utility, where such blogs provide him with credible information and so a credible view of others. He views personal bloggers as "wild west" blog-slingers, in contrast to the expert professional blogger. He described personal bloggers as "a mirror" of people based on his real-life experiences, observing that these people, whom he knows keep blogs, communicate with him the same way that he views bloggers: communicating opinions without credible support, which reinforces his image that personal bloggers are "stupid." Garretts concerns suggest that he regards blogging as credible only when linked with a professional news-generating or experienced source.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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For my final question, I found it helpful on two occasions to coach participants when they felt they had no insight to contribute. On the first occasion, I suggested Vicki's interpersonal relationship with her daughter could possibly impact her interpersonal communication with her daughter online via her daughter's blog. For Garrett, while he thought blogging did not impact the way he views himself or others, I drew on his former responses to suggest that blogging may impact his view of himself and others in the ways that he had already described, to which he responded by offering information that had not been revealed before: his face-to-face and pre-existing relationships with bloggers reinforced his image of bloggers as unprofessional and uninformed. Responses: Interview Themes. The story changes and grows. Interpersonal loss as fleeing, remaining silent, or being absent from others Intrapersonal loss as physical illness and pain, and loss of control Fear of alienation as punishment for voicing views Withdrawal as coping verses blogging as engagement

Motivations and outcomes. I found that these blog writers communicated their blog experiences as growing in intra-confidence to communicate their ideas or experiences, discovering inter-confidence from their renewed intra-confidence, a forum to share passions and/or express and develop authentic identity, and responding to readers interpersonally through comments or face-to-face follow-up from readers, such as family and friends.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Keywords and phrases.

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This interview revealed the following keywords and phrases: adventure, consistency, honest, choose health, empower, content, community, change, history, illness, loneliness, withdrawal, people, sharing passion, and story. Performance: Anna. Anna began writing her blog, A is for Adventures: a place to read God's story living in and through me (Studenny, 2010), in force around the time she received diagnosis for Lymes disease. At this time she chose to focus on recover instead of work, and applied to Gonzagas MA program in Organizational Leadership. She likes blogging because she communicates best with writing, appreciates recording her history, and enjoys watching her story unfold as a formative process. Anna writes with regard towards her audience. Readers report enjoying reading her blog because sometimes her self-disclosing stories can be funny. Additionally, her blog provides a caregiving function for herself and for readers because people want to "know how I'm doing." "People understand and can relate to pain, illness, and suffering The audience can relate to even though they're not the same to her stories are different. The experiences, issues, and feelings are similar." Face-to-face interactions give feedback that she would not have otherwise known online. Still, she finds balance between communicating online and face-to-face. "Honestly, I catch myself," she said, admitting that sometimes when face-to-face with people, she considers how she will write about her experience on her blog later on. Blogging as a process reminds her to be aware and authentic instead of an actor when she interacts with people face-to-face. She takes care to "remain in the moment" and to be her authentic self. The writing process teaches her to focus her content and so be selective with detail. This process helps her to "honor the moment, honor the experience with people." Blogging's requirement for brevity helps

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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her to remain authentic by letting go of the details instead of writing her story in her head while she interacts with people face-to-face. She balances this desire for authenticity with her desire to envision an alternative future (Block, 2009) by writing an alternate story for herself: expressing her gifts and sharing her story with people instead of remaining withdrawn in her illness as though her story were static. She described her motive to blog as self-awareness, authenticity, and pursuing her passion: You have to write for yourself. If it's good, then people come... I write for myself because if I didnt, eventually I wouldn't enjoy it. I write because I love it. I can't see communicating any better than that... I feel known... self-discovery, exploration, it truly is an adventure in itself and it makes me happy. Her following gives her affirming feedback, "you have an extraordinary life," one said, a compliment that coincides the reality that pain as physical illness and the loneliness that illness can bring suggests pain is both/and and not either/or phenomenon. "Sometimes we need time to ruminate to explore our dreams to pursue possibilities, to let life happen. My illness allowed me the chance to ruminate and gave me opportunities to share my story." Blogging provided a process and product that told her to see the way her story began, a transformation from a preference for wandering solitude, which she felt as loneliness, to a desire to draw near to people. This process facilitated a journey to see her Self in relation to others as feeling more at home. She can also reference new friends to her past stories online. "The story is never static. It's fluid. I can see for myself that I changed. People may not see it all the time, and it may be kind of fuzzy, but I can see it." She learned from her own story as to why she responds to people in certain ways now instead of then. In this way she views her identity as changing as she keeps in step with her unfolding story. This dynamic identity impacts her view of

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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people as she sees them as part of her story, too, and being mindful of her own shortcomings and aware of their life as process means she can afford others grace. Where she once felt isolated and alone by necessity of her illness, illness no longer provides her an excuse to withdraw from people. "I have to come back. I have to come back," she said, alluding to illness as an exilic cycle. She now regards herself with a public service ethic where she chooses to be found. Now she realizes that just as her blog provides a measure for her growth, so people provide a mirror for her to see her own flaws. In recognizing these flaws, she experiences greater growth and healing amid a struggle to be self-reliant and interdependent to being honest about her own need and inadequacies. The blogging environment provides a safe place for her to process this tension and to step onto a higher vista where she can view the next stage in her journey much as a person might watch the sun rise gold over the rooftops on a city below. In other words, blogging textualizes her transformation from "profound loneliness" to a place where she wants to reach out and engage with others as cocreating life stories together. Thus, she regards the storytelling as her life mission. Writing her story as ongoing works well with the open ended blogging format. Bloggings interactive and immediate format gives her a place to archive and to share her own history in present time. Blogging also provides open access and a single place to share with others. Indeed, the technology allows for a never ending and constantly unfolding story that needs to be updated for her readers. She said, It's history. Again it's not static Blogging basically is rewriting my story... my ideas change in the last two years I've come across new ideas that gives me a different perspective. I'm content and at peace... blog blogging provides a greater way for me to share my illness because I have to be alone with my thoughts... even though I can't sit face-to-face with someone I can share my thoughts on my blog and hopefully encourage someone.

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One writing challenge she works to overcome: that hump named transparency, or the hesitation to divulge personal details. She learns to tell her story within the context of a larger story and a decision-making criterion to choose what to share. Ultimately she wants to remain true to her readers by being consistent with her stated purpose in her tagline and to be honest. For instance, in writing about loss online, she challenges herself to open up to people instead of presenting a facade. In doing so, she has also opened herself to occasional unsolicited criticism, advice, and even diagnoses as people respond to her story in their own way. She finds people have multiple reasons to read a blog and multiple ways in which they respond to her story. Some readers find her through search engines, others through social networks, and still others family, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues whom she has met in person. These interpersonal relationships pose a risk in her disclosure and she works to keep relationships intact when sharing sensitive information. For instance, she weighs the risk telling her story in relation to her perception of others' response to her telling. This concern has presented an ethical dilemma for her, which he has resolved by using pseudonyms if she believes that readers will construe story as negative. "Blogging is a place to invite people into my story, to journey together as my story unfolds." To co-create stories online, she said she needs to know who she is, who her readers are, and what she's doing, and then stick to it. One common mistake bloggers make is creating a blog, and then let it rot (or lurk) in cyberspace. The blogging medium needs consistency and dedication. Overall, blogging impacts her view of herself as Self and as in relation to Others by learning to journey the story together and within. Ultimately she wants to write her story in a book, but even then, in indelible ink, still sees her story as unfolding, what she calls the ultimate adventure. "It's super exciting." she said, to tell God story "within and through" her.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Performance: Chevas.

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Chevas has written his blog, Hot air Balloun (Balloun, 2010), for about five years, and writes mainly for family and friends and "a few atheists." He asks himself, "What will generate a discussion? What discovery do I want to write about? What's funny?" He writes answers to those questions for a variety of topics such as theology, spirituality, technology, design (of anything), fitness, culture (e.g., a recent movie), science (e.g., genetics), and in the past, video games. "I like the public voice... the idea that people could read my blog" even if they don't. He writes on topics under the theme of discovery, training, and teaching. He no longer writes in a venting stage because "readers don't care" and advised bloggers to know their audience. He measures post reach, or blog impact, based on how many comments he receives, with a good post receiving at least 5 comments, and his most commented on post garnering a hefty 23. Blogging interpersonal dynamics come in to play in when he responds to people in the comments. He responds to divergent views with a desire to be firm and respectful. He found that "it comes down to tone" in the way that he creates this respectful and safe environment. "I want people to say what they have to say." Chevas made a prominent place for comments, positioning recent comments in their own column in the upper-right portion of the page. Most blogs position comments below the writers post. This positioning reflects Chevas value for communicating his passion with instead of to readers, allowing them their own visible space to voice their views. Mainly, he distinguishes between blogging as a distraction and blogging as a passion. Combining passions paves a path for, and is, dialogue (Pearce & Pearce, 2000b). "Blogging has helped me to identify what I care about." The definition of passion is "to suffer with" (Kouzes & Posner, 2003). He decides what he cares about based on what he is willing to take the time to suffer with, or be patient with, as he writes. He used to write about technology

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING because it provided a guarantee that someone would read his work given the broad audience

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involved. However, he learned that blogging about his passions makes his blog unique, and he measures this strategy's efficacy based on receiving more comments on his blog now than when he wrote solely about technology before. He learns about himself in relation to himself and to others through blogging. "Blogging is a good measure, a tangible measure of my struggle to be comfortable in my own shoes and to be bold. Blogging has taught me how timid I am even though in my mind I imagine myself being bolder." He learns about himself in relation to others as taking the risk and courage to "put myself out there" and thereby invites others to "align with me." He used to fear people would persecute him if he spoke his passions with his voice, or text as it were. Alienation, or the "silent type," of persecution concerned him the most. He had feared that blogging about his passions for discovery and his faith because such topics are not value-neutral. "I've noticed that there's a lot less to be afraid of others than I had thought," he said. Currently he writes to people based on existing interpersonal relationships, mainly family and friends, but he hopes his blog will become more open to strangers who share passion for dialoguing passion. This mutual interest does not mean consensus as he blogs with people who fervently disagree with his posts. While this is rare, the key word here is passion, and he enjoys dialoguing with people on his blog in the comments and through his posts based on his passion for discovery. Integrating and Discussing Findings I cross-referenced participant-observations and the focus group and interview responses to explore congruence in findings. Both interview and focus group participants agreed that blogs provide a public and/or immediate appeal. Interview findings suggest that blogging for these writers provided a healing and formative process to communicate their experiences, identity, and

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passions in relation to their selves and to others. The focus group, with limited experience or desire to read blogs, saw a disparity with blogging and identity, seeing blogging as superficial at best. In contrast, the interviewees, who wrote and maintained blogs, saw blogging so closely linked to identity via inter- and intra- communication that they found their experiences to be akin to coming out of the woodworks. Garrett offered an important concern when it comes to distinguishing between a Web log, or journal, and a professional content blog: credibility. This concern for credibility echoes public relations models that conceptualize building trust in the blogosphere. These PR blogging models rely on the narrative paradigm, or the effort to make meaning through constructing a relational discourse between organizations and their constituents (Lim & Yang, 2009, May 25). This new model for blogs changes past PR models, which worked to generate publicity (Lim & Yang). Blogs associated with soap boxing, or haphazardly pronouncing opinions as Garrett described, may be written with the effort to generate publicity, while blogs that tell stories and invite responses through interactive designs, such as Annas and Chevas, may measure credibility based on the meaning exchanged between contributors. Thus, blogging credibility depends on the purposes with which people participate: to relate and make meaning, or to gain attention. Method contrasts may be explained by writers who focus on their work's direct benefit regardless if they have readers writer's desire to engage with people and to create a safe place to dialogue and share passions writers as creators of posted content and readers as limited to responding to said content

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the focus group sample was convenient and not purposive. A purposive sample of avid blog readers may foster different findings as these readers may assign greater value and meaning to blogs.

I suggest testing the contrasts between focus group and interview findings, or blog readers and writers, by designing a purposive and strategic sample, and to widen the scope by designing a strategic and random sample via blog directories. I designed such a sample for this project, but found that only one respondent for the focus group tele-conference (Appendices G-H), suggesting a larger sample may take more time to garner enough participants to conduct a focus group. In any case, I suggest future research design a triangulated sample for focus groups by conducting at least to focus group with one control group of non-blog readers or writers in order to test if my findings confirm or illumine my findings. For my part, I'm interested in exploring blog's therapeutic potential, which may derive its power on the publicity, immediate, interactive, and writing processes needed to share one's experienced in a weblog. Relevant Literature on Blogging Intrapersonal Communication Identity. Blogs and blogging influence identity. Blog writers actively manage the information they present about themselves (Trammell, 2005, May), suggesting that blogs provide a performance and sense-making forum to express identity. Sheldon (2008) advised people to define and deconstruct the complexity of identity words such as gender as a way to develop a blog conversation. This advice illumines the identity nature of blogging because blogs rely on language in textual form. Nicholson (2008) humorously categorized the personality types that engage on blogs. While I resist categories because I find them rigid and they can lead to stereotypes, I found it amusing that the persons associate the blogosphere to personality based on people's interactive style (Nicholson).

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Personal weblogs provide a safe space because persons can speak without fear of reprisal or isolation, making blog ownership key (Kim, 2008). Miura and Yamashita (2007) found that blog writers maintained their blog to self-describe, socially interact, to benefit the self and relationship, and to improve information handling skills. Individuals with high self- and expression- awareness seemed to better understand their identity (Miura & Yamashita). Feedback provided a social dynamic, and blog writers maintained their blogs when they felt satisfied with their self-awareness and with others' acceptance (Miura & Yamashita). Blog writers measured these identification and relational benefits based on whether or not they received positive feedback from their readers. Dynamic. Blogs' provide a "flexible channel" and so serve people with different purposes (Li, 2007, May 24, p. 1). As people perceive themselves and their situations in real time, they reify the Self. Kaye (2005) described blogs as dynamic since they include interactive resources such as e-mail and chat rooms. From a uses and gratifications perspective, blogging motivations and outcomes occur in four ways: social interaction, passing time, entertainment, and using online media based on genre (Kaye). The Internet demands attention and activity (Kaye). Blogs provide an action- and choicebased media medium as they provide an asynchronous format, which allows users to opt in or opt out of the interaction, information sharing, and feedback (Kaye). Bloggers did not measure their motive to interact based on time invested on blogging. Bloggers often possessed high self-efficacy, a college degree or higher, and were often males (Kaye). Importantly, persons used blogs for personal fulfillment, such as fulfilling emotional means, and expression and affiliation, such as expressing personal viewpoints with like-minded individuals (Kaye). Sensory. Sensory immersion allows blog users to have an increased interactive experience even though blogs are primarily text (MacDougall, 2005). Sensory immersion includes blogging

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interactivity, awareness, and perceived relevance of information. Blogs as having a high sensory integration contrasts earlier descriptive works that predicted CMC would be impersonal, and would have a negative impact on tasks, emotions, and social interaction (Walther, 1992). Physical. Peterson (2008) embodied the body in cyberspace by linking the physical act of typing with physical storytelling in blogs. The body exists as a contact with the keyboard and expression, and cyberspace embodies person to their storytelling as storytelling provides an imaginary experience and merges the storytellers with story listeners, or the "I" and the "we" (Peterson). Blogs embody writers and readers. Instead of a handshake, its a CMC follow, comment, or post. Attachment. Ruzich (2008) linked emotional attachment with computers and social change by evaluating people's responses grief responses to computer crashes. Their findings suggest a people attach themselves to computers and view technology as a social actor, almost personifying technology by experiencing loss in relation to computers as living entities. Interpersonal Communication Conversation. Trammell (2005, May) assessed blogs' social interaction and community potential by tracking trackback, comments, and blog posts. From the uses and gratification perspective, blogs as a whole must include audience feedback and explore the reasons that people participate in blogs (Trammell). Interpersonal communication occurred with conversational flow when the audience commented to blog posts, and blog writers or readers replied to readers in the comments (Trammell) where conversation "changes and becomes dynamic the moment a reader leaves a comment" (p. 18). The conversations emerge as people converse with each other.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Healing.

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Chung and Kim (2007, May 23) found that blog use among persons with cancer and their companions allowed users to express their illness, manage complex information, interact with others, receive emotional support and a sense of community, providing a coping mechanism and placed in power people. Limitations to blog use for health involved credibility of health information, privacy and anonymity, and possible social isolation and depression (Chung & Kim), though illness may be the isolating factor (A. Studenny, personal communication, April 2, 2010). Bloggers could make rapid decisions regarding their health care and manager physical and psychological stress from being diagnosed and from experiencing physical pain (Chung & Kim). Overall, blogs maintained a therapeutic potential because they provide a medium for persons to engage in proactive decision-making, to manage their motions, to receive social support, and to gain and share information (Chung & Kim). Credibility. The traditional distinction between the amateur and professional producers of media content continues to blur (Cammaerts, 2008). Interestingly, comments provided positive predictors of information sharing, suggesting the interactive nature of blogs lends credibility to the content (Chung & Kim). People attributed blog credibility to factors such as website design and structure (Warnick, 2004, cited in Sanderson, 2008, p. 916). Rhetoric. Miller and Shepherd (2007) envisioned blogs as a rhetorical genre by which persons interact with the Self, with others, with time, with history, and with culture. Bloggers acknowledge that motive in each other and continue enacting it for themselves. The blog-as-genre is a contemporary contribution to the art of the self (sec 4 para 5).

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Group Communication Transformation.

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Blogging loss narratives, as Anna, and passions, as Chevas, can be Denning's (2005) story that springboards social change. Sanderson (2008) found that sports media blogging altered the practices within the sporting community. It may be possible that blogging may alter practices within the other communities and organizations. Instead of drawing on the uses and gratifications theory, Sanderson relied on the dialoguic self to understand the ways that the self moves to different positions and empowers persons with voices and relationships, and drew on the self-presentation theory, which assumes that people perform for social audiences. Empowerment. Cammaerts (2008) critiqued blogging's participatory potential and emphasized the political nature of the blogosphere. Political blogging speaks multiple voices that see daily life as political (Cammaerts). Those who may perceive themselves as having a reduced power status may regard their blog as political, such as when writing about their gender or faith affiliation or health status. Psychological empowerment varies, but psychological empowerment can function as the ways in which persons perceive their control, connection, and social and agentic potential (Stavrositu & Sundar, 2008). Do blogs empower oppressed citizens? Howard (2008) expanded the dialogic theory of participatory media by developing a vernacular Web of participatory media theory. The vernacular Web means citizens endow themselves with a voice not appropriated to them by an institution (Howard). The vernacular voice provides a community force. Ideally, a vernacular provides access for anyone to participate with agency and so allows for a hybrid discourse called an impetus to the current media such as blogging (Howard). Agency refers to the capacity one has to assert influence or power (Howard). Such online vernacular occurred in the early days of synchronous network media such as IRC, chat

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rooms, and even those pesky asynchronous e-mail forwards. Importantly, the Internet as a designed system embeds this vernacular potential, meaning that online participatory media such as blogs allow for vernacular, dialogue, and participation because they're designed to do so. Stavrositu and Sundar (2008) found that bloggers empowered themselves as a blog creator because the blog design allows for the self to exist as a creator given their convenience and customizability. Bloggers as speaking agents provide their own voice and agency, and from this agency, a sense of competence, confidence, and assertiveness (Stavrositu & Sundar). Empowerment leads can lead to transformation. Reading texts together, such as in reading groups, nurtures the imagination (Roberts, 2010). Imagination leads to transformative opportunities (Roberts). For blog followers and writers, blogs may provide those spaces to talk about, to imagine, to empower, and to realize change. From an economic standpoint, the vernacular Web emerged due to the split between content producers and consumers, where consumers became content producers instead of passive viewer such as a television audience (Howard, 2008). Try to regulate these emancipative and participatory forums, prepare to meet resistance. Wheaton (2009, October 12) decried blog regulation as "likely unconstitutional" (p. 1), such as FTC rules that require bloggers to disclose advertiser support. Communicating Community Blogs provide a sense of community among readers, and this community provides its own check and balances in the comments and other feedback (Kaye, 2005). Bess, Fisher, Sonn, and Bishop (2002) theorized the psychological sense of community as four components: the membership, influence, needs, and emotional connection. There exist four known levels of community: membership, influence, integration and need fulfillment, and shared emotional connection (Bess, et. al, 2002). Membership includes history, common symbols, emotional safety,

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and personal investment, and influence includes the power and which persons possess to exert on their situation and on others (Bess, et. al). A psychological sense of community exists as an ongoing context-specific process and mediates both individual and community as change agents (Bess, et. al). Never underestimate the need for self-identity and agency within a community (Bess, et. al). In this realm, the blogosphere does not exist as a utopia for community, but as a forum to elevate diversity and dissent as key contributors to community health. Readers and writers together validate blogs as a community. Blogs give feelings of belonging and influence, which include the reach that bloggers perceive themselves to have over others (Stavrositu & Sundar, 2008). Blogs integrate needs by sharing like-minded values and experiences (Stavrositu & Sundar). Bloggers share personal events, self disclose, and build relationships as ways to share emotional connections online (Stavrositu & Sundar). Each of these dynamics contribute to a psychological sense of community and blogs (Stavrositu & Sundar). At some point community development "involves making private troubles public issues" (Labonte, 2008, p. 89). Blogs blur the distinction between public and private (MacDougall, 2005). In short, blogging can psychologically and communally empower bloggers (Stavrositu & Sundar). When bloggers and readers realized or perceived community, then they needed less confirmation for their agency for personal bloggers (Stavrositu & Sundar). These findings offer direct practical implications for oppressed groups, such as persons with a reduced health status. Symbol. MacDougall (2005) concluded that blogs provide a format for persons to construct their identities via exchanging and building symbols and by providing a format for persons to engage in "down to earth, intelligent and pointed, audience-aware writing" (p. 582). Additionally, blogging incorporates other symbols such as images, though blogging still is primarily still primarily relies on text. Perhaps the communal potential and interactivity of blogging offsets any limitations that text

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may have. Blogs' textual format increases self-awareness and self-reference and person's use blogs to form their identities as social and symbolic (MacDougall). Thus, blogs maintain a formative role in social and communal discourse. Implications for Communication, Leadership, and Ethics Communication for Community Schultze (2000) described communication as an entry point to for persons to create communities of peace, or Shalom, where communication functions as the pursuit of life itself. Communication serves as a dynamic, fluid, multifaceted, and multimodal process of social interaction through which humans navigate meaning (Cronen, 2001; Pearce, 2004; Thurlow, Lengel, & Tomic, 2004). Blogging invites people to communicate a safe place in which to identify themselves in relation with themselves, with others, and with their communities. Blogging communicates intra- and inter- personal and small group identity and relationships, which can by their nature can build community. Lead with Story Storytelling assumes that people are social beings (Bosticco & Thompson, 2005). Ethnographic narrative's performance nature (Denzin, 2003a; Pollock, 1990) relies on storytelling. Storytelling provides a humanizing and social context for "interpersonal and intrapersonal contact" (Peterson & Langellier, 2006, pp. 126-127). Storytelling transitions from an "I" to a "We" mindset (Peterson & Langellier, 2006), thus giving the narrator identity and agency. Storytelling also puts people at ease in new and stressful environments when experiencing loss (Glazer & Marcum, 2003). Mainly, leading with storytelling, such as via blogs, provides a way to give persons an opportunity to experience unified selves and relationships.

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All communication carries consequences (Pearce & Pearce, 2004) and occurs as a public process (Futrell & Willard, 1994) that relies on a dialogic identity (Baxter, 2004). Ethics exist as a human concern because relationships are the context for communicating ethical concerns and obligations (Barry & Shaw, 2007), as follows: Reflexivity. Reflexivity exists as autoethnographic narratives primary ethic. This reflexivity exposes researchers as a spectator for a social purpose (Behar, 1996) and invites me to write beyond my personal experience to symbolize redemption and hope (Denzin, 2003b). Autoethnographic, and not ethnographic, narrative is the only ethical research approach because researchers must interpret their own narratives instead of those of participants (Denzin, May 4, 2006, personal communication, cited in Ruskai Melina, 2008, p. 161). Bloggers who present themselves as the Self in culture demonstrate reflexivity. Their ethic benefits mine. Vulnerability. Loss and identity research requires sensitivity to people's vulnerability during a painful time. Vulnerability means establishing intimacy with people and disclosing my actions and motives. This ethic respects that both the researcher and participant co-exist in a world with the inherent ethical concern for doing no harm to each other (Roth, Wolff-Michael, 2009). Ethnographic research lacks vulnerability as a researcher does not disclose her vulnerable experiences, but asks participants to do so. Thankfully, the in-depth interview with Anna allowed an opportunity for me to share vulnerability given its interpersonal and intimate nature. Dialogue. Dialogue widens discussion of ethics, relationships, reflexivity, mutually engaged performance, community, and responsibility (Anderson, Baxter, & Cissna, 2004). Deetz and

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Simpson (2004) described organizations as context that distributed dialoguic power on "uneven ground" (p. 150), meaning that persons communicate in systems that give privilege to some at the expense of others. Dialogue challenges power imbalances and prompts change (Deetz & Simpson). Dialogue's multi-vocal nature provides an ethic of care, and challenges growth and change by voicing difference. Blogging provides a dialogic forum. Suggestions for Future Research Feedback Conrad and Poole (2005) and Yukl (2006) agreed that leadership research lacks follow-up as one way to validate or adjust findings. Ethnographic research values the ethic of sharing findings with participants to reduce the power and distance between researcher and participant. I have plan to share these findings with participants and to inquire on their perceived satisfaction with our interaction and with my work ethic during the inquiry process. I want to know what research areas they would like to see explored from what we have learned through this inquiry should they wish to do something new, a goal in research (Jackson & Parry, 2008). Such feedback can increase research efficacy and credibility (Yukl, 2006) by reflecting the ongoing change and collaboration needed to explore communication and rejects the tendency to retro-justify findings (Tourish & Hargie, 2000). Directions I suggest future research explore the autoethnographic approach in blogging to better understand loss, identity, and intra- and inter-personal communication in CMC performance such as in blogs and in online learning environments. Autoethnographic narrative will invite vulnerability as a research ethic, which distinguishes it from other approaches (Behar, 1996; Bochner & Ellis, 2006; Ellis, 1999). This research must also explore pixels in addition to text: photography, comments, audio, video, visual arts, and any other media presented on blogs. In this light, blogs are a multi-

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media and inter-disciplinary art form. Thus, research must develop unified and integrative methods to analyze the interdisciplinary and diverse performance narratives presented on blogs. Conclusion Techno-babble or technopoly (Postman, 1992), people still come first in CMC contexts (Thurlow, Lengel, & Tomic, 2004). Blogs provide a high degree of interpersonal experiences, contrasting earlier works (e.g., Walther, 1992) that worried that CMC would reduce social presence and the personal nature of relationships. Blogs provide a high degree of interpersonal communication, social presence, empowerment, agency, and self-disclosure. Blogs offer a safe space to creatively express oneself in relation with the self, with others, and with community. Blogs can empower people to participate in self- and other- directed discourse, to heal, to reach out to others, and to even transform community. Blogs, then, generate a forum by which to construct identity, to symbolize intra-, inter-, small group, and communal communication as change, to make meaning in loss, to discover formative passion, and to live with purpose. Not everyone regards blogs through such a lofty lens, but the beauty of blogging means that diversity has its place in public discourse, and one can opt in or out of dialoguing story with others. Blogs communicate these dynamics in flexible (Li, 2007, May 24) and creative ways, meaning that people value blogs for different reasons depending on the impression of blog credibility, purpose, and on their role as writer or follower.

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R. Anderson, L.A. Baxter, & K.N. Cissna (Eds.), Dialogue: theorizing difference in communication studies. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Peterson, E.E. (2008). My body lies over the keyboard: agency and efficacy in weblog storytelling. Atlantic Journal of Communication, 16, 149-163. Peterson, E. & Langellier, K. (2006). Communication as storytelling. In G. Shepherd, J. St. John, & T. Striphas (Eds.), Communication as perspectives on theory. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Roberts, G. (2010). Stafford creek reading group. In, J. Gonyer-Donohue & Silberstein (Eds.), English Matters. Seattle: University of Washington. Rogers, C. (1989). On becoming a person: A therapists view of psychotherapy. New York: Houghton Mifflin. Roth, Wolff-Michael. (2009). Auto/Ethnography and the question of ethics. Forum: Qualitative Social Research, 10(1), 1-10. Rubin, R.B., Rubin, A.M., Haridakis, P.M., & Piele, L.J. (2010). Communication research: strategies and sources (7th ed.). Boston: Wadsworth. Ruskai Melina, L. (2008). Beyond sisterhood and superwoman: alternative narratives of women in the 1970s. Dissertation. Spokane, WA: Gonzaga University. Ruzich, C.M. (2008). Our deepest sympathy: an essay on computer crashes, grief, and loss. Interaction Studies, 9(3), 504-517. Sanderson, J. (2008). The blog is serving its purpose: self-presentation strategies on 38pitches.com. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 13, 912-936.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Schultze, Q. (2000). Communicating for life: Christian stewardship in community and media (4th ed.). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker.

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Sheldon, A., with Berryman-Fink, C., Bing, J., Cameron, D., & Taylor, T. (2008). Blogging about feminist interdisciplinarity in the study of communication, language and gender. Women and Language, 31(2), 26-35. Stavrositu, C., & Sundar, S.S. (2008). Psychological empowerment derived from blogging: is it agency or is it community? Paper presented to the Information Systems Division at the 56th annual conference of the International Communication Association (ICA), Montral, Canada, May 22-26, 2008. Thurlow, C., Lengel, L., & Tomic, A. (2004). Computer mediated communication: Social interaction and the internet. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Tourish, D., & Hargie, O. (2000). Strategy, research, and pedagogy: the role of audits. In, O. Hargie & D. Tourish (Eds.), Handbook of communication audits for organisations (pp. 293-314). London: Routledge. Trammell, K.D. (2005, May). Looking at the piece is to understand the whole: an analysis of blog posts, comments, and track backs. Paper submitted to the International Communication Association. Walther, J. (1992). Interpersonal effects in computer-mediated interaction: a relational perspective. Communication Research, 19, 52-90 Wheaton, K. (2009, October 12). FTC's blog rules excessive, ridiculous and hypocritical. Advertising Age, 80(34), 1. Yukl, G.A. (2006). Leadership in organizations (6th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix A: Exploratory Interview Questions

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I asked Anna the following questions. These questions shaped focus group questions by revealing key themes: 1. What do you like about blogging?

2. Who do you consider your audience?

3. What feelings do you process when you blog?

4. What about blogging draws you to write about personal experiences such as loss?

5. What about your loss experiences do you want to share online?

6. In what ways do you think your audience benefits in reading about your experiences online?

7. In what ways does blogging impact your identity, or the way you view yourself? In relation to the Self? In relation to Others?

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix B: Invitation to Participate

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Are you a blogger? Have you blogged on your experiences with health, relationships, and/or loss? If so, I want your help. I am interviewing bloggers to learn about their experiences navigating and sharing loss online. Your efforts could contribute to enhancing healing experiences for yourself and for others. What is involved? Im asking for about an hour of your time and your willingness to contribute your honest ideas and experiences during a conversation with me at a time convenient for you. I will share your responses with Gonzaga and post my research online. You may choose to remain anonymous or identified by name. I will do all I can to respect your experiences as I write the study, and will share the study with you when I finish. If you are willing to participate, please contact Dena Rosko at drosko@gonzaga.edu (e), denarosko.com/contact.html (w), or 206.963.9508 (c). I appreciate your interest and the opportunity to connect with you!

Connecting with Colleagues who Share a Vision to Encourage & Heal in Organizations via Expressing Creativity, Developing Vocation, & Leading Holistically ~ Dena Roskos Mission Statement

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix C: Study Disclosure Statement

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Blogging as Performing Narrative in Loss for Intra/Inter Personal Healing Dena Rosko, drosko@gonzaga.edu, is the researcher for this study and a graduate student in the Communication and Leadership Studies program at Gonzaga University. Dr. Heather Crandall, Chair of Communication and Leadership, is the Faculty for Interpersonal and Small Group Communication course in which Dena Rosko is conducting this study. Purposes and Benefits This study explores blogging experiences for persons who have blogged online about loss, health, identity, and/or interpersonal communication experiences. So the topic is broad, and I want to hear about your experiences blogging as you see it. No inducements are being offered for participation. Participants can request a copy of the study results and will have access to the completed report though the Gonzaga University library. Procedures Data collection will occur through qualitative research methods, specifically conversational interviews and focus groups. Participants will volunteer to share their experiences by indicating interest. Interviews will be recorded and transcribed. Washington State law provides that private conversations may not be recorded, intercepted or divulged without permission of the individuals involved. Data will be kept confidential, located in a secure place and destroyed 3 years after study results are published. Interviews with approximately 1-2 contributors will take place during a one-month period. Interviews will be informal and each should last between 30-60 minutes. Conversation topics will revolve around sense of healing and community as experienced in blogging. Risk, Stress or Discomfort Participation will not impact academic standing. Participants may experience stress or discomfort in recalling loss experiences. The researcher will make every effort to put participant at ease. Researcher will keep identity confidential unless participant gives permission to be identified (see Consent Form). Pseudonyms such as Participant #1 will be used for all participants unless given permission to be identified. Participants are free to withdraw at any time or to skip answering any question without consequence. Researcher Signature: ___________________________________________________________ Print name: ______________________________________________ Date: ___________

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix D: Interview Participants Consent Form

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Blogging as Performing Narrative in Loss for Intra/Inter Personal Healing I currently or have blogged online about loss experiences. I am over 18 years old. The study named above has been explained to me and I have had an opportunity to ask questions. I understand the intent and purpose of this research and I voluntarily consent to participate. I give my permission that conversations in which I participate during this research may be recorded and divulged. If at any time I wish to stop the interview, I can do so at any time without having to give an explanation. In the study report, I prefer to have My real name used: __________________________________________________ A pseudonym used: _________________________________________________

Participant Signature: ____________________________________________________________ Print name: ______________________________________________ Date: ___________

Researcher Signature: ___________________________________________________________ Print name: ______________________________________________ Date: ___________

We hope that all our graduates will live creative, productive, and moral lives, seeking to fulfill their own aspirations and at the same time, actively supporting the aspirations of others by a generous sharing of their gifts. ~ Gonzaga Universitys Mission Statement

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix E: Focus Group Questions 1. What do you like/not like about blogging? 2. Who do you consider your audience or primary blogs of interest?

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3. What about your experiences with identity, vocation, interpersonal communication, and/or healing do you write/read about online? 4. In what ways does blogging impact your identity, or the way you view yourself? In relation to the Self? In relation to Others?

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix F: Focus Group Participants Consent Form

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Blogging as Performing Narrative in Loss for Intra/Inter Personal Healing I currently or have blogged online about loss, health, identity, and/or interpersonal communication experiences. I am over 18 years old. The study named above has been explained to me and I have had an opportunity to ask questions. I understand the intent and purpose of this research and I voluntarily consent to participate. I give my permission that conversations in which I participate during this research may be recorded and divulged. If at any time I wish to stop the interview, I can do so at any time without having to give an explanation. In the study report, I prefer to have My blog title used: __________________________________________________ My real name used: __________________________________________________ A pseudonym used: _________________________________________________

Participant Signature: ____________________________________________________________ Print name: ______________________________________________ Date: ___________

Researcher Signature: ___________________________________________________________ Print name: ______________________________________________ Date: ___________

We hope that all our graduates will live creative, productive, and moral lives, seeking to fulfill their own aspirations and at the same time, actively supporting the aspirations of others by a generous sharing of their gifts. ~ Gonzaga Universitys Mission Statement

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix G: Initial Focus Group Sampling Plan

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I include this initial design so future research can account for any mistakes or finetune the design to garner more responses in the future. Initially, and I designed a strategic and purposive sampling plan for a focus group sample. I searched online for "blog directory" and chose the directory that yielded the most results using the keywords, "loss, healing, identity" to find bloggers who wrote on loss and to hear their opinions and motivations as to why they wrote on their loss experiences online. From the search results, I selected every number based on integers from a random sequence number generator bounded from 1 to 36. I needed a small sample, ideally 4-7 bloggers, to comprise my focus group. I chose the 36 boundary given the search result yielded 36 blogs, and to allow equal chance for blogs farther back in the search result to be represented. I selected the first 14 integers, or double the most desired number of participants to account for opt-outs. The random sequence ensured that the same integer would not be used again, but each integer had equal chance of being selected once. From this sequence, I selected the 2nd, 21st, 35th, 1st, 16th, 13th, 31st, 6th, 8th, 19th, 20th, 14th, 32nd, and 36th, blogs from the search results. If I did not receive enough participants, then I planned to generate another random sequence. I informed potential participants that I will close the opt-ins once I reached 4-7 participants, which I did. I used random.org/sequence for the random sequence generator. I excluded blogs that did not meet 2 or more of the keywords, such as a how-to blog on blogging, corporate or advertising blogs, and blogs with broken links or redundant listings. I accounted for these toss outs (6th, 11th, 30th, 24th, 25th, 27th, 28th, 5th, and 4th, see Figure 1.1 for random sequence screen capture) by selecting the next number in the sequence. Mainly I wanted individual bloggers who disclosed their loss and

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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healing experiences online, or who generally wanted to be a free resource to others in those circumstances. For the second focus group, I initially designed a purposive non-random sample where I contacted people whom I knew maintained blogs currently. This sample mixed with the random purposive sample to provide what I hoped would be enough interested persons to comprise a small group for a focus group and to balance the desire to have a sample that represented the blogging directory with my desire to have an interpersonal approach to my research. I also conducted a focus group with my team in the class, or a convenience sample. I anticipated this convenience sample to act as a control since I assumed that my team members did not regularly maintain a blog. The random design felt too complicated. Only three (3) people responded with interest, with one (1) actually making the call. From this I relied on my convenience sample as my primary focus group for this paper. The interviews provided sufficient narrative for blog writer's perspectives on blogging, and contrasted with the actual focus group's perception of blogs as readers.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix H: Focus Group Email Messages

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I include these messages to ascertain what I could do differently in the future to improve response rates on samples: Attempt #1 Hi! My name is Dena Rosko, and I found you via your blog. Currently I am a graduate student at Gonzaga University, and want to hear about your experiences with loss, healing, and identity when you blog online. I came across your blog at bloggingfusion.com using the keywords, "loss, healing, identity." I'm conducting a focus group and invite you to participate should you want to share your experiences with blogging. If you are interested in participating, please reply with your interest at your soonest convenience. I will send more information including the conference call number. I appreciate your consideration to help me with this study and hope this study's findings will help others who may find themselves in similar situations blogging about their experiences online. For my blog, go to http://gradstudentreflections.blogspot.com/ Kindly, Dena Attempt #2 Hi! I want your help. Currently I am a graduate student at Gonzaga University, and want to hear about your experiences with blogging. I know you keep a stellar blog, and wanted to know if you can give 45-60 minutes of your time for a focus group conference call 4/12 or 4/16, depending on your availability.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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If you are interested in participating, please reply with your interest at your soonest convenience. I will send more information including the conference call number. I appreciate your consideration to help me with this study and hope this study's findings will help others who may find themselves in similar situations blogging about their experiences with identity, interpersonal communication, and healing online. Thank you and kindly, Dena Follow-Up #1 Hi, Thank you for your kindness to reply. Basically I want to learn from people who have blogged online about loss, health, identity, and/or interpersonal communication experiences. So the topic is broad, and I want to hear about your experiences blogging as you see it. I've attached a study disclosure form. Let me know if that helps! Kindly, Dena Follow-Up #2 Hi, I've attached more information about my study so you can be fully aware and how and why I will use information I learned from you in the focus group should you choose to participate. Please review the attached .pdf and reply if you are interested in participating. I will reserve your spot and send instructions for our tele-conference focus group. All spots will be reserved once I receive 4-7 participants. Kindly, Dena

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Follow-Up #3 Hi! Thank you for your kindness and willingness to help! I attached the study disclosure and consent forms for more info. Here's the details: Call: 4/12 Mon 6pm PST Dial-in number: 1 712 432 2800 (International Dial-in Numbers +44 844 4 73 78 11, +49 1803 002 078) PIN: 843703 Instructions: 1. Dial the conference number at the time indicated above 2. Enter the PIN, when prompted

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3. Speak your full name when prompted and then you will join the conference. If you are the first person to arrive on the conference call, you will hear music. As others arrive on the call you will hear them being announced. Let me know if you have any further questions. I look forward to hearing your blogging experiences! Kindly, Dena

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix I: Blog Titles and Links

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A is for adventures: a place to read God's story living in and through me. By Anna Studenny http://www.annastudenny.com/

Hot air Balloun By Chevas Balloun http://chev.as/

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Appendix J: Screen Images

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Figure 1.1 Annas Blog Screen Capture.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING

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Figure 1.2 Chevas Blog Screen Capture.

Running head: BLOGGING AS COMMUNICATING Author's Note

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Special thanks to Anna Studenny, Chevas Balloun, and focus group participants for sharing your insights and experiences with blogging. Thank you for the cup of tea and formative vision (Anna) and for sharing passion as a common ground for conversation (Chevas). Thank you to colleagues for supporting this research with your participation. Thank you to Dr. Heather Crandall for your sense of humor and encouraging words this term. Thank you to Dr. Lois Ruskai Melina for placing me on an equal plane via genuine dialogue and so transforming me from a graduate student to a researcher.

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