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Our Family eBooks by 5C

The kids in 5C have been researching humour. We collected funny jokes, stories, limericks and personal anecdotes from our family members. We want to find out what makes them laugh. We have made some family eBooks. We hope you enjoy reading them. We think they are cool!

Family Jokes
Joke

Doctor, Doctor Joke


Doctor, doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together then! By Mum

Limerick

There was an old man from Peru


There was an old man from Peru Who dreamt he was eating his shoe He woke in the night With a terrible fright To find it was perfectly true By Dad

By K.S. (5C)

Our Family Skeleton Jokes


Harbour Bridge Joke
Question: Why was the skeleton afraid to jump off the Harbour Bridge? Answer: It didnt have any guts

By My Nanna

Skeletons
Question: What is a skeletons favourite rock band? Answer: The Rolling Bones By My Brother

Restaurants
Question: Why did the skeleton go to the restaurant? Answer: It wanted to have a spare case of ribs By My Brother By D.F. (5C)

Joke: Two Cannibals


Two cannibals were sitting down eating a clown. One turned to the other and said Does this taste funny?

Who Told Me: My Dad

Limerick: Young Lad Daniel


There was a young lad named Daniel Who had a Cocker Spaniel When he learned to drive My gosh did he thrive Driving both automatic and manual

Who told me: My Dad

Personal Anecdote: Hair Spray


Whilst getting ready to go out to dinner my Grandma was in such a hurry that instead of spraying her hair with hair spray she accidently picked up a tin of Mr Sheen (Furniture polish) and wondered why her hair was going all white. Luckily it brushed out and she joked that she would have the shiniest hair at the party.

Who Told Me: My Grandma

Favourite Childhood Story: Common Sense


My Grandads older brother was mucking about one day and accidently threw one of his own shoes up on their roof. When his dad found out what had

happened he asked Wheres your common sense boy? My Grandad replied Its up on the roof with his shoes.

Who Told Me: My Grandad


By J.E. (5C)

Sliding elephant
High on the mountain green the grass. Down came an elephant sliding on its a__ Hey, said the farmer, You sliding on my grass? No, said the elephant Im sliding on my a__.
Explanation: My mum and dad sang this when they slid on the wet grass, with card board. By S.N. (5C)

Noahs Ark:
Why didnt they play cards on Noahs Ark? Because Noah sat on the deck.
Who told me: My dad told me from his own, old joke book when we was a teenager.

The Pelican:
What a wonderful bird is the pelican. His beak can hold as much as his belly can. He can hold in his beak enough food for a week, And I dont know how the Hell-He-Can! (Helican)
Who told me: My Uncle Richard told me. By B.E. (5C)

My Familys Jokes
The Number Joke Question: Why was six afraid of seven? Answer: Cause seven eight nine [By my Mum]

The Disco Question: Did you hear about the guy at the seafood disco? Answer: He pulled a muscle [By my Uncle]

Lady GaGa Question: How do you wake Lady GaGa? Answer: You poker face [By my brother]
L.C. (5C)

Football
Years ago when I was at a football match with my two children, my son walked up the stairs and stood behind where I was sitting and pulled my wig off my head. Everyone was laughing. Who told me: My Grandmother

Gum
When I was backpacking in Turkey, unknown to me I put my backpack on a piece of chewing gum. When I picked my bag up it made a long string of sticky chewing gum that the wind blew across 10 people on a bus. It flew everywhere! Who told me: My Dad

Cheese
Question: What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Answer: Nacho cheese. Who told me: My Sister
By M.F. (5C)

Funny, Funny Stories and Jokes in my Familys Past...


Joke
Question: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Answer: Cause they have big fingers!!! From My Brother

Funny Story From the Past


When I was a child I raised a magpie that fell out of a tree. Her name was Maggie. I also had a friend who was really, really tall. She had her toe nails painted red. One time when my friend came over with open shoes, then all of a sudden Maggie would dive and attack her red toe nails. My friend would be so scared of Maggie because she dived on her nails, so before she came over she would ring me and say Could you please put Maggie out, I do not want her diving on my toes?. That was a funny story when I was growing up. By My Mum By M.W. (5C)

My Familys eBook
Cab Capers
When my dad was 10 years old and his uncle would come over to have lunch, they would hide under a blanket in his taxi. Dads uncle would drive off pretending they werent there. They thought he didnt know but hed pull up about four blocks from the house and make them walk home. From: My Dad

Gnomes
My dad was ten when he made gnomes and sold them to the neighbours for 20 cents. Whatever was in the plaster the snails ate, so the gnomes would be smaller every time he saw them! From: My Dad

Joke
Question: Whats black and white and read all over? Answer: A newspaper By M.T. (5C)

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