RESEARCH

PAPER
 INTRODUCTION
“God created us male and female. What we call gender was an essential

characteristic of our existence prior to our birth”. Attraction between man and

woman was instilled by the Creator to ensure the perpetuation of mortal life and

to draw husband and wife together in the family setting he prescribed for the

accomplishment of his purposes, including the raising of children. In contrast,

deviations from God's commandments in the use of procreative powers are grave

sins. Many people face the confusion and pain that result when a man or a

woman engages in sexual behavior with a person of the same sex, or even when

a person has erotic feelings that could lead toward such behavior. How should

Church leaders, parents, and other members of the Church react when faced

with the religious, emotional, and family challenges that accompany such

behavior or feelings? What do we say to a young person who reports that he or

she is attracted toward or has erotic thoughts or feelings about persons of the

same sex? How should we respond when a person announces that he is a

homosexual or she is a lesbian and that scientific evidence "proves" he or she

was "born that way"? How do we react when persons who do not share our

beliefs accuse us of being intolerant or unmerciful when we insist that erotic

feelings toward a person of the same sex are irregular and that any sexual

behavior or that nature is sinful?

 STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM
"Each individual's journey through life is unique. Some will make this

journey alone, others in loving relationships - maybe in marriage or other forms of

commitment. We need to ponder our own choices and try to understand the

choices of others. Love has many shapes and colors and is not finite. It can not

be measured or defined in terms of sexual orientation.

People tend to fall in love with the same gender and consider same-sex

marriage even though they know that in God’s eyes it will never be right and be

acceptable in the society.

HYPOTHESIS
The more a person sees some of the certain traits they don’t have or they are

lacking unto the same gender, the more they fall in love also. Then they will think

that having themselves settled down is everything that they need – same-sex

marriage. Individuals often project their own attitudes, behaviors, or relationship

views onto close others. These perceptions may or may not be accurate but they

influence relationship judgments. Based on the attraction-similarity hypothesis,

three studies examine the role of friendship satisfaction in perceptions of

similarity in terms of relationship beliefs, traits, and behaviors among cross-sex

friends. Study 1 found that college students perceived their cross-sex friends to

be similar to themselves. Interclass correlations indicated that these perceptions

reflected a belief in the partner’s similarity to the self rather then being an

accurate assessment. Supporting the attraction-similarity hypothesis, Studies 2

and 3 found that greater friendship satisfaction predicted greater perceived

friend-self similarity for traits and behaviors. Finally, these perceptions were

made in a self-enhancing fashion.

DEFINITION OF TERMS
Same-sex marriage (also referred to as gay marriage) is a term for a

governmentally, or socially, recognized marriage between two people of the

same sex. Same-sex marriage and gay marriage are the most common terms

used in news media and politics

Gender- is the sex of the person or animal.

Homosexuality – sexual attraction towards a person of the same sex.

Homosexuals – pertaining to or characterized by homosexuality.

- a person who is sexually attracted to someone of the same sex or gender.

Bisexuals - someone who enjoys sex with male and female and usually has

affairs going with both.

 IMPORTANCE OF STUDY
In discussing homosexuality and midlife, the population of interest to this

paper is men who are self-identified as gay. Although homosexuality can be

defined by overlapping criteria of behavior, desire, attraction, or self-identification,

latter criterion is most relevant, given my interest in how individuals attach

meaning to homosexual identity throughout adulthood. In this paper, I define

homosexual identity as a social construct that is strongly shaped by cultural

factors but interpreted by individuals reflecting idiosyncrasies of personal history

and psychological. Using criteria, Homosexual identity is further defined as a

perceived (as opposed to presented) identity, and as an identity inclusive of, but

not restricted to, sexual identity. I will focus on men who are self-identified as gay

since adolescence or early adulthood in order to better describe a longitudinal

view of homosexual identity maintenance; gay men who "come out" in middle

age are likely to have different developmental trajectories characterized by longer

periods of heterosexuality or bisexuality and psychosocial identities influenced by

marital or parental roles. People will defy societal expectation just for love or

thinking that they can only find their other side that they were looking for towards

the same gender. It is important to know more about this study for us to be able

to understand why people continue their love for the same gender.

SCOPES AND DELIMINATIONS

 My attitude in doing this research was to be as objective as possible

knowing that a lack of objectivity will taint any research. Therefore, my goal was

to find out what the homosexual sociology was really like answering the question,

"Is the homosexual life being accurately portrayed by the liberal media or is it

significantly different?" This research is one of many reasons why I now tend to

refer to the liberal media as the lying liberal media. Just the statistics provided to

me by my wife at the beginning of this research contradicted what the liberal

media portrays as the homosexual life style.

The meaning of homosexual identity as shaped by the adult life course is

poorly described in the lives of gay men. In particular, the transition from young

adulthood to middle age raises questions of how homosexual identity is redefined

as gay men alter their participation in gay sexual culture, experience change in

sexual desire and activity, and revise broader psychosocial identity as influenced

by psychological and socialization processes related to aging. In addition, the

HIV epidemic and historical change in social tolerance of homosexuality have

shaped the experience of sexual identity among the generation of currently

middle-aged gay men in the United States. A perspective that integrates

sociocultural, historical, and psychosocial factors is thus needed to understand

the subjective meaning of homosexual identity as it is experienced in midlife. In

this paper I have described exploratory research on the meaning of homosexual

identity in the life trajectories of middle-aged men. Such meanings reflect

available social and cultural pathways for change in midlife homosexual identity,

as well as individual psychological attributes and idiosyncrasies of life history.

These findings have heuristic value in further refinement of models of

homosexual identity maintenance and support a more inclusive view of the life

course. In considering homosexual identity from a life course perspective that

focuses on the transition from young adulthood to middle age, the interplay

between psychological and socialization processes related to aging, on the one

hand, and psychosocial and cultural factors that shape homosexual identity, on

the other, emerge as an important point of exploration. To date, descriptions of

homosexual identity and the adult life course are not well integrated, despite

large numbers of self-identified gay men and women traversing adulthood in

Western societies. Thus, little is known about how ongoing life experience and

evolving psychosocial identity affect self-representations of homosexual identity

in midlife adults, or conversely, how being homosexual affects life experience and

personal narratives of such experience throughout adulthood.

RELATED LITERATURE
"Each individual's journey through life is unique. Some will make this

journey alone, others in loving relationships - maybe in marriage or other forms of

commitment. We need to ponder our own choices and try to understand the

choices of others. Love has many shapes and colors and is not finite. It can not

be measured or defined in terms of sexual orientation

A curse that we received from a conservative Christian. (Grammar,

punctuation and spelling corrected to make it legible):

"This is to let you know that SSM is an abomination in the sight of God and his

word says that to agree with sinful evil people is being a partaker of other men's

sins therefore the same punishment will be applied. The nation or people that

commit abominations will be sent a curse that consists of God sending your

enemies upon you and they will kill your sons and daughters, your enemies will

eat up all your profits and get rich because of your sinfulness, God will send

hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, Fire, Famine, and disease. If this will not turn your

heart he will then sent a curse seven times worse until you are utterly destroyed.

This is to let you know because many are being destroyed even now this curse

has been in effect for a while and God wants sinners to know why these things

are coming upon them. He wants to give all men the opportunity to repent and be

saved. These things will increase on the nations and people that war with him

and they will know the wrath of the Lamb, for he will break them to pieces like a

piece of pottery cast upon a rock, his fire will purge and clean every evil from the

face of the earth and many shall flee to caves and hide from his presence crying

out for the rocks to fall on them."

"Because marriage is a basic human right and an individual personal choice,

RESOLVED, the State should not interfere with same-gender couples who

choose to marry and share fully an equally in the rights, responsibilities, and

commitment of civil marriage." The Marriage Resolution, by the Marriage Project

of Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund. 3

"If marriage means everything, it means absolutely nothing. It will mean nothing

to same-sex as well as opposite-sex couples. The current decline of the

institution of marriage will be accelerated. Increasing numbers of couples will

elect to simply 'live together'."

( This is found in an encyclopedia )

RELATED STUDIES
( These are studies, inquiries or investigations already conducted to which the present
proposed study is related or has some similarity. )

This final restriction was lifted during 2001-APR, when The Netherlands

expanded its definition of marriage to include both opposite-sex and same sex

couples. Belgium followed suit during 2003-JAN. Next came Ontario, a province

in Canada in 2003-JUN. By 2004-NOV, same-sex marriage had become

available in most Canadian provinces. When federal law C-38 was signed into

law on 2005-JUL-20, SSM theoretically became available across all of Canada.

However Prince Edward Island ignored the civil rights of same-sex couples, and

refused to issue marriage licenses to them for almost a month. The capitulated

when threatened by a lawsuit. Spain passed a law allowing same-sex couples to

marry on 2005-JUN-29. South Africa's law came into effect on 2006-NOV-30.

Many political jurisdictions have special legislation that allows gay and

lesbian couples to register their committed relationship as a civil union or

domestic partnership and gain some benefits. These areas include most of the

Scandinavian nations, the UK, Switzerland, and a number of states in the U.S.:

The enabling legislation varies greatly among the jurisdictions. Many couples

receive only some of the advantages that opposite-gender couples automatically

acquire when they marry. In the case of the U.S., couples typically receive a few

hundred state benefits but not the over one thousand federal benefits.

This uses the term "same-sex marriage" (abbreviation: SSM) in place of

the more commonly used "homosexual marriage" because it is more precise and

inclusive. Some individuals with a bisexual orientation form loving committed

same-sex relationships and want to marry. The term "SSM" covers them as well

as homosexuals.

Many people believe that same-sex marriage -- or its equivalent under

another name -- will become available to all loving, committed adult couples

throughout North America and western Europe sometime in the next few

decades -- whether they be same-sex or opposite-sex spouses.

Others -- typically religious and social conservatives -- feel that same-sex

marriage is a major threat to the institution of marriage itself. They often describe

themselves as "supporters of traditional marriage" which actually means that they

want to prevent same-sex couples and their children to be forever denied the

approximately 1,400 benefits and rights of marriage.

 SUMMARY
Many people claim that same-gender attraction is a genetic condition that

should not be resisted because it is natural, i.e. some people are born that way.

Without a doubt, many men and women experience feelings of attraction to the

same gender and those feelings can come often and with convincing force, while

to others they may rarely come, if ever. The adversary tempts all of us in different

ways according to our strengths and weaknesses. We might be tempted with

feelings of same-sex attraction, excessive opposite-sex attraction before

marriage, or attraction to people other than a spouse within marriage. Similarly,

people are tempted and have strong tendencies to drink alcohol, lie, cheat or

gamble. Feelings of same-sex attraction are just another temptation used in an

attempt to prevent us from fulfilling our role as God’s children.

Experiencing feelings of same-gender attraction is not sin unless one puts

those thoughts or feelings into action, just as one who abstains from sexual

relations before marriage or chooses not to steal when tempted to do so. At the

same time, we must do everything in our power, though extremely challenging at

times, to cast out any immoral thoughts and feelings that come, else they mature

into attitudes and then action.

We should not call someone who experiences such feelings homosexual,

gay, lesbian or anything similar, just as you wouldn’t call someone who has only

thought of robbing a bank a bank robber. Besides, such names imply that people

are born with those preferences and have no choice in their sexual behavior. Just

as we would talk to, listen to, help, and love someone struggling with
pornography or gambling, we should love and help anyone overcome feelings of

same-gender attraction.

CONCLUSION
Based on the study I have done, it helped me clarify my own thoughts

about falling for the same gender and the same-sex marriage. I have learned that

we should respect other’s feelings as they respect ours. We should not judge

them even they are homosexuals. We might also bear in our minds that many of

us believe that all people are capable of same-gender attraction under the right

circumstances—but our purpose here is to allow you to examine your own

feelings and draw your own conclusions about yourself. I believe many people

are under the mistaken belief that humans have sexual drive, romantic drive and

an experience of marriage all in order to breed and raise children. Perhaps that

fundamental belief about sex and love is mistaken -- for *all* human beings. In

which case, no wonder they're scared: this isn't just about us queer folks, it's

about everyone.