ACTIVE LISTENING

Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to feed back what they hear to the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words, to confirm what they have heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties. When interacting, people often "wait to speak" rather than listening attentively. They might also be distracted. Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others, focusing attention on the "function" of communicating objectively as opposed to focusing on "forms", passive expression or subjectivity. There are many opinions on what is "active listening". A search of the term reveals interpretations of the "activity" as including "interpreting body language" or focusing on something other than or in addition to words. Successful communication is the establishment of common ground between two people understanding. Agreeing to disagree is common ground. Common ground can be false, i.e., a person says they feel a certain way but they do not. Nevertheless it is common ground, once accepted as understood. Dialogue, understanding and progress can only arise from that common ground. And that common ground cannot be established without respect for the words as spoken by the speaker, for whatever reason. Thus the essence of active listening is as simple as it is effective: paraphrasing the speakers words back to them as a question. There is little room for assumption or interpretation. It is functional, mechanical and leaves little doubt as to what is meant by what is said. "The process is successful if the person receiving the information gives feedback which shows understanding for meaning. Suspending one's own frame of reference, suspending judgment and avoiding other internal mental activities are important to fully attend to the speaker.

Primary elements There are three key elements of active listening: comprehending, retaining and responding Comprehending Comprehension is "shared meaning between parties in a communication transaction". This is the first step in the listening process. The first challenge for the listener is accurately identifying speech sounds and understanding and synthesizing these sounds as words.[citation needed] We are constantly bombarded with auditory stimuli, so the listener has to select which of those stimuli are speech sounds and choose to [citation needed] pay attention to the appropriate sounds (attending). The second challenge is being able to [1] discern breaks between discernible words, or speech segmentation. This becomes significantly more difficult with an unfamiliar language because the speech sounds blend together into a continuous jumble. Determining the context and meanings of each word is essential to comprehending a sentence.[citation
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Retaining This is the second step in the listening process. Memory is essential to the listening process because the information we retain when involved in the listening process is how we create meaning from words. We depend on our memory to fill in the blanks when we're listening. Because everyone has different

memories, the speaker and the listener may attach different meanings to the same statement. However, our memories are fallible and we can't remember everything that we've ever listened to. There are many reasons why we forget some information that we've received. The first is cramming. When you cram there is a lot of information entered into your short term memory. Shortly after cramming, when you don't need the information anymore, it is purged from your brain before it can be transferred into your long term [2] memory. The second reason is that you aren't paying attention when you receive the information. Alternatively, when you receive the information you may not attach importance to it, so it loses its meaning. A fourth reason is at the time the information was received you lacked motivation to listen [1] carefully to better remember it. Using information immediately after receiving it enhances information retention and lessens the forgetting curve (the rate at which we no longer retain information in our [3] memory). Retention is lessened when we engage in mindless listening, where little effort is made to listen to a speaker's message. Mindful listening is active listening. Responding Listening is an interaction between speaker and listener. It adds action to a normally passive process. The speaker looks for verbal and nonverbal responses from the listener to determine if the message is being listened to. Usually the response is nonverbal because if the response is verbal the speaker/listener roles are reversed so the listener becomes the speaker and is no longer listening. Based on the response the speaker chooses to either adjust or continue with his/her communication style. Tactics Active listening involves the listener observing the speaker's behavior and body language. Having the ability to interpret a person's body language lets the listener develop a more accurate understanding of [4] the speaker's message. When the listener does not respond to the speaker's nonverbal language, (s)he [citation engages in a content-only response which ignores the emotions that guide the message. needed] Having heard, the listener may then paraphrase the speaker's words. It is important to note that the listener is not necessarily agreeing with the speakersimply stating what was said. In emotionally charged communications, the listener may listen for feelings.[citation needed] Thus, rather than merely repeating what the speaker has said, the active listener will describe the underlying emotion ("You [citation needed] seem to feel angry," or "You seem to feel frustrated, is that because ... ?"). Individuals in conflict often contradict each other. This has the effect of denying the validity of the other [citation needed] person's position. Ambushing occurs when one listens to someone else's argument for its [1] weaknesses and ignore its strengths. The purpose is to attack the speakers position and support their [citation needed] own. This may include a distortion of the speakers argument to gain a competitive advantage. [citation needed] Either party may react defensively, and they may lash out or withdraw. On the other hand, if one finds that the other party understands, an atmosphere of cooperation can be created. This increases [citation needed] the possibility of collaborating and resolving the conflict. In the book Leader Effectiveness Training, Thomas Gordon, who coined the term "active [5] listening," states "Active listening is certainly not complex. Listeners need only restate, in their own language, their impression of the expression of the sender. ... Still, learning to do Active Listening well is a [6] rather difficult task ..." Use[edit]

Active listening is used in a wide variety of situations, specially most important of which is in ironing out disputes.

Active listening chart

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A listener can use several degrees of active listening, each resulting in a different quality of communication. The active listening chart below shows the three main degrees of listening: repeating, [citation needed] paraphrasing and reflecting. The proper use of active listening results in getting people to open up, avoiding misunderstandings, resolving conflict, and building trust.[12] In a medical context, benefits may include increased patient [8] [13] [8] [14] satisfaction, improved cross-cultural communication, improved outcomes, or decreased litigation. Active listening can be lifted by the active listening observation scale. Barriers to active listening[edit] All elements of communication, including listening, may be affected by barriers that can impede the flow [citation needed] of conversation. Such barriers include distractions, trigger words, vocabulary, and limited [16] attention span. Listening barriers may be psychological (e.g. emotions) or physical (e.g. noise and visual distraction). Cultural differences including speakers' accents, vocabulary, and misunderstandings due to cultural assumptions often obstruct the listening process.[citation needed] Frequently, the listener's personal interpretations, attitudes, biases, and prejudices lead to ineffective [citation needed] communication. Shift response[edit]
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The first of these is the shift response which is the general tendency in a conversation to affix the attention to you. There is competition between individuals for attention and a focus on self by shifting the [citation needed] topic; it is a me-oriented technique. The listener shifts from a passive position, receiver, to an [citation needed] active role, sender. This is a type of conversational narcissism; the tendency of listeners to turn [17] the topic of conversations to themselves without showing sustained interest in others listening. With conversational narcissism there is a tendency to overuse the shift response and under use the support [citation needed] response. A support response is the opposite of a shift response; it is an attention giving method and a cooperative effort to focus the conversational attention on the other person. Instead of [18] being me-oriented like shift response, it is we-oriented. It is the response most likely to be used by a [1] competent communicator Overcoming listening barriers[edit] To use the active listening technique to improve interpersonal communication, one puts personal emotions aside during the conversation, asks questions and paraphrases back to the speaker to clarify understanding, and one also tries to overcome all types of environment distractions. Judging or arguing [19] prematurely is a result of holding onto a strict personal opinion. This hinders the ability to be able to listen closely to what is being said. Furthermore, the listener considers the speaker's background, both [citation needed] cultural and personal, to benefit as much as possible from the communication process. Eye contact and appropriate body languages are seen as important components to active listening. Effective listening involves focusing on what the speaker is saying; at times the listener might come across certain [citation needed] key words which may help them understand the speaker. The stress and intonation may also [citation keep them active and away from distractions. Taking notes on the message can aid in retention.
needed]

Misconceptions about listening[edit] There are several misconceptions about listening. The first of these is listening and hearing are the same thing.[citation needed] Hearing is the physiological process of registering sound waves as they hit the [citation needed] eardrum. We have no control over what we hear. The sounds we hear have no meaning until [citation needed] we give them their meaning in context. Listening on the other hand is an active process that [1] constructs meaning from both verbal and nonverbal messages.

Active listening What affects listening? Active listening intentionally focuses on who you are listening to, whether in a group or one-on-one, in order to understand what he or she is saying. As the listener, you should then be able to repeat back in your own words what they have said to their satisfaction. This does not mean you agree with the person, but rather understand what they are saying. What do you think of the subject matter? Have you a lot of experience with it? Will it be hard to understand, or simple? Is it important to you, or just fun? Is the speaker experienced or nervous? What are his/her non-verbal cues? What frame of mind is he or she? How personable, threatening, intelligent, etc.?

Is the message illustrated with Is the space conducive to listening? with visuals or examples? or to interaction or exchange

Is technology used effectively? with the speaker? Are concepts introduced incrementally, Are there avoidable distractions? or with examples? Described above are the external factors. Now: what about you, the center, the listener? Prepare with a positive, engaged attitude Focus your attention on the subject Stop all non-relevant activities beforehand to orient yourself to the speaker or the topic Review mentally what you already know about the subject Organize in advance relevant material in order to develop it further (previous lectures, TV programs, newspaper articles, web sites, prior real life experience, etc.) Avoid distractions Seat yourself appropriately close to the speaker Avoid distractions (a window, a talkative neighbor, noise, etc.) Acknowledge any emotional state Suspend emotions until later, or Passively participate unless you can control your emotions Set aside your prejudices, your opinions You are present to learn what the speaker has to say, not the other way around Actively listen Be other-directed; focus on the person communicating Follow and understand the speaker as if you were walking in their shoes Listen with your ears but also with your eyes and other senses Be aware: non-verbally acknowledge points in the speech Let the argument or presentation run its course Don't agree or disagree, but encourage the train of thought Be involved: Actively respond to questions and directions Use your body position (e.g. lean forward) and attention to encourage the speaker and signal your interest Follow up activities One-to-one Give the speaker time and space for rest after talking Express appreciation for the sharing to build trust and encourage dialogue Check if you have understood Restate key points to affirm your understanding & build dialogue Summarize key points to affirm your understanding & build dialogue Ask (non-threatening) questions to build understanding Continue dialogue: Reflect on your experience to demonstrate your interest (feedback) Interpret after you feel you have grasped content Apply what you have learned to a new situation

In a group or audience give the speaker space to regroup, to debrief after talking During Q & A If posing a question Quickly express appreciation Briefly summarize a preliminary point Ask the relevant question If making a point Quickly express appreciation Briefly restate the relevant idea as presented State your idea, interpretation, reflection Invite a response Continued development Get contact information for later reference Invite friends/colleagues/etc. for discussion afterward Write out a summary with questions for further review

Although the feedback step is at the heart of active listening, to be effective, each of the following steps must taken: Look at the person, and suspend other things you are doing. Listen not merely to the words, but the feeling content. Be sincerely interested in what the other person is talking about. Restate what the person said. Ask clarification questions once in a while. Be aware of your own feelings and strong opinions.

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Steps 1. 1 Prepare mentally. This requires that you clear your mind and dedicate your focus to taking in as much as you can of what is being said to you. Prepare for active listening in the following ways: o o o Tell yourself that you are going to pay attention, and then make the conscious effort to focus solely on the speaker and block out any background noise or other distractions. Get rid of any distractions that may stand in your way of paying full attention. This means closing off any other conversations you are having and stopping any activities you are doing. Clear your mind of any preconceived ideas or emotions pertaining to what you think the speaker might say. It is important to approach active listening with an open mind, and to wait to form opinions until you have heard what the speaker has to say.

2. 2

Pay attention. Active listening involves focusing not only on verbal communication skills, but also on body language cues, in order to get a thorough understanding of the speaker's message. To be attentive, employ the following techniques: o o o o Maintain a physical stance that promotes successful communication. Face and lean towards the person speaking to you. Open your posture, as opposed to crossing your arms. Make eye contact with the speaker. Take note of the speaker's body language. This will give you clues into the meaning, feeling and purpose behind what the speaker is saying. Focus on the message behind the words, rather than the words themselves. Your goal is to understand what the speaker is trying to communicate to you, regardless of how effective the speaker is at articulating the message. Discard judgment and pay close attention to the verbal and physical clues you are receiving. Consider both what the speaker is thinking and what the speaker is feeling. Practice empathy. Empathy is the act of feeling what the speaker is feeling. Attempt to identify with the speaker, so that you fully understand the depth of what is being said to you. You don't have to agree, but you should be able to recognize the speaker's full intention. Avoid formulating a response while you are listening. Wait until the speaker is finished before you devote your mental energy to what you want to say. If the speaker signals to you for an acknowledgement of your understanding during the speech, it is okay to respond with a simple comment or question to show that you are paying attention.

o o

3. 3 Allow the speaker to communicate without any interruption, until the speaker concludes.

4. 4 Provide feedback. Do so with honesty, and with respect for the speaker. Focus on the speaker's message and avoid adding new ideas. o Acknowledge to the speaker that you are paying attention. Nod your head, smile and give other physical encouragements when it is appropriate. Additionally, provide verbal cues of encouragement to the speaker, such as, "go on" and "I see." When the speaker concludes, respond with your interpretation of what was said. It is a good idea to take a moment of silent consideration as you formulate your response. Your response should be a concise paraphrase, or summation, of what the speaker said, as you understood it. Phrases like, "this is what I heard" and "I think this is what you meant" are commonly used when paraphrasing. Allow the speaker to further clarify if you misjudged the meaning of the communication. Ask questions if you feel that you need more information. Actively listen as the speaker provides explanation.

o o

5. 5 Repeat the feedback process until you and the speaker are satisfied that the message was amply conveyed.

Active Listening Part of our: Listening Skills series.

Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice. However, this skill can be difficult to master and will, therefore, take time and patience. 'Active listening' means, as its name suggests, actively listening. That is fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just hearing the message of the speaker. Active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the active listener is also seen to be listening - otherwise the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener. Interest can be conveyed to the speaker by using both verbal and non-verbal messages such as maintaining eye contact, nodding your head and smiling, agreeing by saying Yes or simply Mmm hmm to encourage them to continue. By providing this 'feedback' the person speaking will usually feel more at ease and therefore communicate more easily, openly and honestly. Listening is the most fundamental component of interpersonal communication skills. Listening is not something that just happens (that is hearing), listening is an active process in which a conscious decision is made to listen to and understand the messages of the speaker. Listeners should remain neutral and non-judgmental, this means trying not to take sides or form opinions, especially early in the conversation. Active listening is also about patience - pauses and short periods of silence should be accepted. Listeners should not be tempted to jump in with questions or comments every time there are a few seconds of silence. Active listening involves giving the other person time to explore their thoughts and feelings, they should, therefore, be given adequate time for that. Active listening not only means focusing fully on the speaker but also actively showing verbal and non-verbal signs of listening. Generally speakers want listeners to demonstrate active listening by responding appropriately to what they are saying. Appropriate responses to listening can be both verbal and non-verbal:

Signs of Active Listening

Non-verbal signs of attentive or active listening This is a generic list of non-verbal signs of listening, in other words people who are listening are more likely to display at least some of these signs. However these signs may not be appropriate in all situations and across all cultures.

Smile Small smiles can be used to show that the listener is paying attention to what is being said or as a way of agreeing or being happy about the messages being received. Combined with nods of the head, smiles can be powerful in affirming that messages are being listened to and understood.

Eye Contact

It is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker. Eye contact can however be intimidating, especially for more shy speakers gauge how much eye contact is appropriate for any given situation. Combine eye contact with smiles and other non-verbal messages to encourage the speaker.

Posture Posture can tell a lot about the sender and receiver in interpersonal interactions. The attentive listener tends to lean slightly forward or sideways whilst sitting. Other signs of active listening may include a slight slant of the head or resting the head on one hand.

Mirroring Automatic reflection/mirroring of any facial expressions used by the speaker can be a sign of attentive listening. These reflective expressions can help to show sympathy and empathy in more emotional situations. Attempting to consciously mimic facial expressions (i.e. not automatic reflection of expressions) can be a sign of inattention.

Distraction The active listener will not be distracted and therefore will refrain from fidgeting, looking at a clock or watch, doodling, playing with their hair or picking their fingernails. Learn more about Non-Verbal Communication.

Be aware that: it is perfectly possible to learn and mimic these non-verbal signs of active listening and not actually be listening at all. It is more difficult to mimic verbal signs of listening and comprehension.

Verbal signs of attentive or active listening

Positive Reinforcement Although a strong signal of attentiveness, caution should be used when using positive verbal reinforcement. Although some positive words of encouragement may be beneficial to the speaker the listener should use them sparingly so as not to distract from what is being said or place unnecessary emphasis on parts of the message. Indeed casual and frequent use of very good, yes or indeed can become irritating to the speaker. It is usually better to elaborate and explain why you are agreeing with a certain point.

Remembering The human mind is notoriously bad at remembering details, especially for any length of time. However, remembering a few key points, or even the name of the speaker, can help to reinforce that the messages sent have been received and understood i.e. listening has been successful. Remembering details, ideas and concepts from previous conversations proves that attention was kept and is likely to encourage the speaker to continue. During longer exchanges it may be appropriate to make very brief notes to act as a memory jog when questioning or clarifying later. (See more on Questioning and Clarifying.)

Questioning The listener can demonstrate that they have been paying attention by asking relevant questions and/or making statements that build or help to clarify what the speaker has said. By asking relevant questions the listener also helps to reinforce that they have an interest in what the speaker has been saying. (See our pages on Questioning and Types of Question.)

Reflection Reflecting is closely repeating or paraphrasing what the speaker has said in order to show comprehension. Reflection is a powerful skill that can reinforce the message of the speaker and demonstrate understanding. (See our page on Reflection.)

Clarification Clarifying involves asking questions of the speaker to ensure that the correct message has been received. Clarification usually involves the use of open questions which enables the speaker to expand on certain points as necessary. (See our page onClarification.)

Summarisation Repeating a summary of what has been said back to the speaker is a technique used by the listener to repeat what has been said in their own words. Summarising involves taking the main points of the received message and reiterating them in a logical and clear way, giving the speaker chance to correct if necessary.